Date: Sat, 15 Jun 2013 08:51:24 -0700 (PDT)
From: Aaron Hull <wah.stories@yahoo.com>
Subject: One or the Other: Chapter Thirty Two

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	This is my first story with chapters that I'll be posting on
Nifty. I've written others but decided to share this one first. Other
stories I have written are Gavin's Got Game, Hayden's Story, Shawn's Turn,
Teddy Bear, and the After Party. You can find the first three here in the
high school section and the latter two in the college section, all under
the gay category. If you have trouble finding them, I am under the Nifty
author section as Aaron Hull so you can also find my stories that
way. Warning: My shorter stories contain sex. If you like this story,
contact me at wah.stories@yahoo.com. I strongly encourage it.

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	After I had coaxed Brennan into doing the dishes, we sat and
watched TV while I let Macy work her magic and assemble the herd. The fact
that Brennan and I were alone made me feel a little weird. Not weird as in
bad but weird as in we were living together as a couple. The fact that his
head was laying on my lap as we watched TV didn't really help this thought.

	"You know how you said the world just wants us to be friends?"
Brenna asked me. He looked up to me with his cute hazel eyes.

	"Yeah." For some reason I ran my hand through his hair. I had no
logical reason to do so, I just...it felt right.

	"I think you're wrong. I think the world is trying to say that this
is what love should feel like. I mean we get along, we like to be
physically close to each other. It's like we're past the puppy-love phase
and we're in the true love phase already. I know that may sound kind of
weird but that's how I feel."

	I couldn't disagree with him. With the other guys I've been around,
I'm different that what I normally am, but with Brennan I am as me as I can
get. I don't feel like I have to pretend to be interested in something he
likes that I don't. We're completely honest with each other and we like it
that way. The only thing stopping me from asking him if he'd like to fuck
is the whole thing with Mason.

	"Brennan. I know exactly what you mean. It's just...I do still love
Mason. I also love Daniel. I don't think I should just jump into something
right now. Maybe when things calm down. And I seriously mean that. You're
so adorable and perfect for me, I just...I don't think my heart would be in
the right place right now."

	Brennan sat up. I could tell he was hurt. "I understand." That was
all he said. He would normally plead his case and tell me why he should get
his way but he didn't. I knew how serious it was at that moment.

	I grabbed him and pulled him into my arms, I could feel him
struggle but I'm somehow stronger than him and held him in place. "Just
because I want to be friends doesn't mean I don't like cuddling with
friends. Like we said a while back. Being just friends but with non-sexual
benefits is just easier and less complicated. Give me some time."

	He stopped struggling. I felt a tear land on my arm. "Okay."

	I pulled him closer to me and we just sat there. Him quietly crying
and me holding him.

	Macy was successful in gathering everyone. By one-o'clock, her,
Emma, Kurt, Daniel, and Kasey were all at my house. Thankfully by this time
Brennan and I were completely okay again. I hated that he wanted more and I
wanted to remain where we are, but things just weren't right for now.

	When Macy walked in, she hugged me immediately, she's the only one
of my friends who knows about me and Mason besides Brennan. She was the
last to show up so everyone saw the exchange. The other four looked at us
with concern. I turned to look at them, knowing I had to tell them what had
happened.

	"Guys..." I started to say. I could feel the tears swelling
up. "I'm sorry I've but such a horrible friend. When Mason and I started
dating I completely ignored you all. And then this past week I've been an
ass and evaded everyone and everything. I just wanted to let you guys know
why I've been this way."

	The tears began to fall. Macy gripped my hand and held on tight.
"Mason and I broke up." They all gasped. "He apparently knew that Jordan
was the one who attacked me and left me for dead by the dumpsters. When I
found out, I immediately ended things with him. I could face you guys
because I just knew that you all wouldn't take me back. I've neglected you
guys. I didn't deserve to have you guys back in my life."

	I was barely able to get all of that out. Kurt immediately got up
and hugged me. I could feel his tears on my cheek. "I love you so much,
dude. No matter how much you ignore me and treat me like shit, I will
always love you." He let go a little and looked me in the eyes with a smile
on his face. "You're like the brother I wish I had." This got all of us to
smile a little. Kurt then held me tighter and we just stood there. Most
would think it's awkward that two friends would hug like this but what Kurt
and I have is special.

	Once he stepped away, Emma was hugging me. She was also crying. "I
know I haven't been around long but you've made me feel like I've been here
for years. After the initial awkwardness, you treated me like a sister. I
don't know if I could have survived after the halloween party if it weren't
for you and a few others," she turned to quickly smile at Daniel. "Just
know that I'll always be there for you like you were there for me. And if
you need me to, I'll kick Mason's ass."

	"Don't worry, Megan already did a number on him." I said, holding
back any tears and trying to smile. This sparked the conversation on how
Megan was the best bitch in the state. Daniel never got up to hug me, he
didn't even say he was sorry for what I was going through. He and Kasey
just sat there holding hands. I could tell he wanted to though by the look
on his face. Every time Kasey wasn't looking at Daniel, Daniel would give
me this knowing look, saying "I would kiss you right now and hold you if I
could."

	I know I should have been mad at him for not saying anything, but
I'm not that kind of person. I knew if Daniel did say anything, he would
say something he shouldn't have and end up hurting Kasey. I always put my
friends before myself. That's just the kind of guy I am.



-Mason's perspective-

	This past week has been hell. I've wanted to call Spencer, but I
knew that was out of the question. My mom has been trying to re-assure me
that everything would be okay but I just couldn't believe that. I had
screwed up big time. Like Spencer said, I ruined him life.

	"Hey..." standing at my doorway was Lily. Out of all the people in
the world, she was the last person I thought would randomly show up. "I
told you we were going to hang out one-on-one once didn't I?" She smiled
and came in. She sat down on my bed and looked at the TV.

	I've done nothing but lay in but and wallow in self hatred. The
only times I would leave my bed were when I had to go to the bathroom or to
grab my daily meal, a sandwich and a handful of chips. I was already eating
very little because of the Isabella thing but now it's gotten a lot
worse. There are some nights where my stomach while growl and it hurts. I
don't move though because most of the times I feel like I deserve this
pain.

	"Why aren't you saying anything?" She asked me. I could tell she
was concerned.

	"It's nothing."

	"Come on. I've seen the way you act at school. Something has
definitely got you down and it's not the Isabella thing. Is everything okay
with Spencer?" Just her mentioning his name caused me to tear up.

	"Oh. Megan and Tyler have kept me in the dark so I didn't say his
name to hurt you. Will you please just tell me though?"

	"I ruined things with Spencer. I knew that Jordan was the one who
put Spencer in the hospital and I didn't say anything. Spencer hates me now
and there's nothing I can do. When I go to school, I either get called a
faggot or a good-for-nothing father. I could normally call Spencer and he'd
be able to calm me down, but now I just start to hate myself."

	"I'm sorry." Lily laid down beside me. We weren't touching, which
was kind of weird, but it was better since under these covers I was just in
my boxers. "You know you can talk to me if you want. I know we're not
dating or anything but it sometimes feels good to talk to someone who isn't
your best of friend. You don't have to face any consequences that could
hurt anyone close with what you say yet you still get to talk about
stuff. It helps me anyways."

	"Thanks. It means a lot that you'd be willing to listen to my
problems." It really did, I honestly felt like I couldn't talk to Canyon or
Tyler about this sometimes because I felt like they'd hate me. Of course
Tyler knew about all of this because like Megan and Spencer, he and I also
got letters from Jordan, telling us that he had told Spencer our little
secret.

	"So, what's on your mind?"

	"Am I a bad boyfriend?" I already knew the answer but wanted to
hear it from someone else. "I mean, I've dated five people in my past. My
first girlfriend and I were great but then I came out and that ruined
it. My second relationship ended because I convinced him to come out with
me and that resulted in him getting beat. My third relationship ended
because I wouldn't give her what she wanted. My fourth relationship ended
because I was in love with someone else. And my last one ended because I
withheld information. All of them ended because of something I did."

	"I know you want to hear me say you're a bad boyfriend, but I don't
think you are. You came out because you wanted to be you. You convinced him
to come out because you felt it'd be the best for him. You didn't give her
what she wanted because what she wanted wasn't what you wanted. You and
Tyler didn't work out because you were already in love and there's nothing
anyone could do about that. And you were trying to protect
Spencer. Everything you've done has been what you thought would be
best. It's not like you were fucking around while in a committed
relationship."

	Her telling me this actually made me feel better. I think I might
just put on some pants when she leaves. "Thanks."

	"No problem." Lily smiled. "Tonight Tyler and I are going out. If
you'd like to join, we can get Canyon aboard and just hang out as a group."

	"Won't Tyler be upset you're canceling your date?"

	"He probably would be. That's why you're canceling our date. It's
revenge for what we did to you a while back."

	This made me smile a little more. I definitely felt like I could
actually get completely dressed now and I wouldn't have to stay in bed all
day. I don't think Lily will ever know how much her few words have helped
me. She'll never know about this either because then I'd be indebted to her
for the rest of my life. "Call and tell him the news. I guess I should get
out again."



-Spencer's perspective-

	Since none of my friends can drive, we all decided to walk to the
park, which isn't too far from my house but still a good distance. There we
were going to play some mini golf. We haven't done that in a long time so
we decided it was time to go, even though Kasey did not really want to.

	Going out with this group of friends felt kind of awkward. Daniel
and I had a thing kinda and now he has a boyfriend who is in this
group. Brennan and I almost had something but I prevented that. Macy and
Kurt broke up and even though they are completely fine it still feels a
little awkward for me. And then Emma is now obsessed with her new boyfriend
so she rarely pays attention because she's texting him. Don't get me wrong,
I love my friends, but since the beginning of the year, everything has
changed drastically. I just wish I had some sort of stability in my life.

	"I bet you guys I can get a hole-in-one on this hole." Kurt
bragged. This hole seemed to be the hardest in the course and Kurt's
previous scores were a few over par, so this was going to be funny.

	"I'm sure you can." Kasey said with a slight laugh.

	Kurt did some math in his head, I think it's the first time he's
ever done math actually, and hit the ball with his club. To everyone's
surprise, Kurt actually did get a hole-in-one. The look of utter shock on
his face was the best part of it though. He started to jump up and down and
scream with victory. The way people looked at us made us all laugh.

	"I'm going to be the next Tiger Woods." Kurt exclaimed.

	"So you're going to screw a bunch of women and ruin your marriage?"
Macy asked. You could sense that deep down she still wants to be with Kurt.

	"Well duh. What else do you think I meant?" Kurt asked, trying his
best to be serious. Macy just rolled her eyes, slapped his arm, and
continued onto the next hole, obviously not happy. Brennan rolled his eyes
as well and followed after her.

	"What's wrong with her?" Kurt asked. "She's the one who wanted to
break up."

	"Girls are weird." Emma said. "No matter what you say, you're in
the wrong. So when she asks you a question, answer the way you think she
wants to hear it. Never be honest unless you want to get your ass handed to
you." This made Kasey and Daniel giggle.

	We then heard a shout from a distance. "Hey Kurt!" It was Eric. He
was with a bunch of guys on the basketball team.

	Kurt's face lit up. "Hey Eric!" Kurt shouted back. My gaydar went
off immediately and I wondered if something was going on between the two of
them.

	Eric whispered to his group of friends. They all looked over at us
and laughed. I didn't like this. Kurt didn't seem to really notice
this. Emma, Daniel, and Kasey did though.

	"Come on." Daniel said as he turned away from the basketball
guys. "We should catch up with Brennan and Macy." Emma, Kasey, and I
followed right behind him.

	"But you guys haven't gone yet?" Kurt was confused.

	"Just come on." I tried getting Kurt to go. "There's no way we
could do as good as you so we just give up."

	Kurt shrugged his shoulders. "Makes sense to me." The five of us
then joined an angered Macy and a calming Brennan.

	"Is everything okay?" Emma asked, directing this towards Macy.

	Macy didn't look back at Emma. The way she reacted to hearing
Emma's voice reminded me of the hatred between the two after the
party. "No. Things at home are just...it sucks, okay?"

	Emma backed off. "Okay. Sorry for asking." Emma was seriously
sorry. She didn't want to ruin her friendship with Macy. It had just gotten
to the point where Emma and Macy could hang out on their own and get along
very well.

	I for one knew that Macy's home life wasn't that stellar and I knew
that what was going on probably had a lot to do with home. But I also knew
that there was something else on her mind.

	For the rest of the holes, we just fooled around and had fun. The
only trouble we had was when the basketball team caught up with us. I could
hear the occasional fag comment or something along those lines. I don't
know if anyone else heard it but I was for sure Kurt didn't. Kurt had
become the biggest pro-gay straight guy I've known. Whenever he hears the f
word he gets really pissed and threatens whoever said it.

	Once we had finished our game, with Brennan coming out on top with
20 over par and me a close second with a 25 over par, when I said we fooled
around I literally mean we starting getting high scores, we decided to just
sit and relax at one of the many picnic areas at the park. It was nice to
be outside in the shade and talk instead of being in someone's house for
once.

	I decided to get to the bottom of the Kurt-Eric thing because it
was getting on my nerves. Hearing Eric's conversations with his friends
pissed me off. I needed to know if Kurt was the butt of the joke or
not. The only one who I think would tell me if my suspicions were true was
Daniel. Kurt would get pissed at me if I asked and Daniel would be the only
other one who'd know.

	I texted him this: `Is there something going on between Kurt and
Eric? jw'

	"We all need to find dates. Prom is like three months away and most
of us are single." Macy said. She had become herself again after we
starting golfing again.

	Daniel: `Yeah. Did u hear what they were saying too?'

	"Three months is a long time to find someone to go to prom with,
Mace." I told her, everyone laughed.

	"I know. But we need to find people now so we know we're not taking
crazy people in three months. Just look at our histories. We aren't good
with finding people."

	Me: `I did. Are you going to tell Kurt about this? I think he
should know.'

	"I agree with Macy." Emma said. "It seems like people just keep
coming and going through the group so we need to find stability."

	Daniel: `I don't see why he should. He's happy with the way things
are.'

	"Well I think I found my stability." Kasey said as he draped his
arms around Daniel. The fact that Kasey had his hands all over my man
pissed me off. Daniel smiled at this and just rested his head on Kasey's
shoulder.

	"Dudes. You're gonna make me sick." Kurt covered his mouth and
pretended to gag. Kasey just smiled and flipped him off.

	Me: `Eric is talking shit about gays. Kurt deserves someone better
than that.'

	"I'm going to find me a smoking hot girl and she is going to be a
cheerleader and a gymnast and a dance and she'll be smart too." Kurt
explained what his dream girl would be like.

	"If you haven't noticed you're the only straight guy here so you're
making the rest of us sick." Kasey said with a laugh. Even though I hate
Kasey, he and Kurt seem to get along well, which is something good for the
group.

	Daniel: `I don't understand you. You didn't care whatsoever when
you found out Mason was talking shit specifically about you. You even
kicked a friend out of your house because she was telling you the truth.'

	Kurt was thinking of a good response to what Kasey had said, but as
he opened his mouth to say something, I got up. I looked directly at
Daniel. "Fuck you." I was done with Daniel's shit. One minute he'd be nice
and the next he'd find a way to rip my heart out and stomp on it.

	I turned and left. Everyone was shocked besides Daniel, I think he
just realized what he had done.

	Once I was out of the shade, I began to run. I didn't know where to
go. I didn't want to go home and I didn't want to bother Mrs. Garrison so I
found myself a quiet place near the park and sat under the tree, hoping
that no one could find me.

	I so bad wanted things to be normal again. I wanted all of us to be
happy. I miss Lizzie so fucking much. I miss Mason even more. Every day I
think of Trey and wonder why I can't stop thinking about him. He tried to
rape me yet I still think about him from time to time. My life was nothing
like it used to be. All throughout middle school is was just me, Lizzie,
Daniel, and Kurt. We were happy and it was rare that someone else would
join us. Now everything changes on a weekly basis and I hate it. I
truthfully hate my life.

	"You okay?" I heard. It sounded like Daniel, but when I turned to
look the person in the face, it was Kurt.

	"No."

	"What's wrong?" Kurt asked as he plopped down right beside me. He
grabbed my head and rested it on his shoulder, against my will, and held my
hand. It felt nice. Kurt was rarely like this and I knew that when this
Kurt came out that I would truly always have him at my side.

	"Everything."

	"You're going to have to say more than one word. We both know I'm
stupid."

	I couldn't help but laugh a little. "You're not stupid."

	"Good! We got three out of you. Or is it four? do contractions
count as one word or two?"

	I could tell Kurt was trying to make me feel better. And it
actually was. "It's just that...nothing is the same anymore. I want things
to be normal again. Remember when we were three straight guys and a
lesbian? Those days were fun and there was rarely any drama. Now we go
through friends faster than Isabella through guys."

	This made Kurt smile. "I know. Is there a specific reason why you
especially got mad at Daniel back there. I could tell that you all were
texting each other."

	I really didn't want to be the one who told Kurt the thing with
Eric, I just had to though. "I know about you and Eric." Kurt just sat
there quietly. "Daniel didn't have to tell me that though. I could just see
it in the way you looked at him when he said hey to you."

	This time Kurt spoke up. "You heard him calling me a fag, didn't
you?"

	I was utterly shocked by this. "Yeah...but..."

	"I was hoping that you all wouldn't have heard any of that and I
could deal with it on my own later. And don't think I am getting any kind
of soft. I plan on beating the shit out of him tonight. We were supposed to
have our actual first date."

	"I'm sorry. Why didn't you tell me that you and Eric had a thing
going on?"

	"I planned on telling you. But it's just...you were busy with that
one guy and then after you know what I didn't want to be all `I know you're
single again but guess what? I have a boyfriend now!' That would have been
fucked up."

	"I see. I'm so sorry that I've been distant recently. You won't
have to worry about that anymore."

	"Good. I missed my Spency-bear. And just to let you know, I start
to question my sexuality when I kissed you in the hospital. Not trying to
like screw with your emotions or anything but I really did feel something
when I did that. It wasn't as strong as when Macy and I first kissed, but
at that moment I could tell that I didn't mind kissing guys."

	I removed my head from his shoulder and looked at him with a
smile. "You're welcome. I'm happy I turned you gay."

	He then did it again. He leaned in and kissed me. This time it was
a lot more...loving. Unlike with the hospital kiss, there was real emotion
behind this one. I couldn't help but melt as Kurt and I kissed.

	He then pulled away. "I'm not gay, dude. I still want pussy."

	I couldn't help but blurt out. "You know how to ruin a perfect
moment, don't you?"

	This caused him to laugh so hard he nearly cried. "Oh. I love you
dude. You make my day." He finally gained his composure and pulled my head
back onto his shoulder. "Now you need to tell me exactly what Daniel said
to you."

	"Well I wanted him to tell you that Eric was calling us fags but he
got pissed and said that he didn't understand me because Mason did the same
thing to me and I ended my friendship with Jessie because she was trying to
protect me." I couldn't help but let out a tear.

	"I like Kasey, but Daniel becomes a real ass when he's around. I
can't tell you how many times he's brought up the fact that Macy and I
aren't together anymore."

	"Do you still like her?"

	"No. I think I love her. It's just...whatever is going on at home
is really bothering her. She told me she needs space because of all of it
so I just agreed with her so we wouldn't fight."

	"I'm sorry. Why were you going after Eric then?"

	"Well back at the halloween party, the two me and Macy had a
foursome with was Eric and Hailie. Ever since Eric has been trying to hook
up with me because he really enjoyed our one-on-one part. When things with
Macy ended I caved because I really wanted attention. Hearing him call me a
fag made me realize that I don't really even like him. He's just good at
sucking dick."

	"How can I, a known gay guy, get less action from guys that you, a
bi guy who recently discovered he likes guys?"

	"I don't know. But if...you know...you ever wanna like...we
could....just friends though."

	I could feel Kurt blushing. His offer actually intrigued me. I
think it actually would be better to lose my virginity to a friend instead
of losing it to someone I think is the man of my dreams but then we break
up and I hate myself. "Maybe...just maybe."

	I could feel Kurt's ego re-entering his body. "Trust me, you
wouldn't be disappointed." I couldn't help but giggle. Kurt then stood up
and pulled me up with him. He pulled me in close so our foreheads were
touching. I thought he was going to kiss me again but all I felt was his
breathe. "I do love you, Spencer. You mean to the world to me. As long as
we're friends, I'll always be happy. And that's all I'll ever want from
you. I don't want us to ever date or anything like that because I don't
think either of us could actually commit to each other, since I still love
Macy and you already have three guys of your own." He then took me by
surprise and kissed me. I swear he likes to catch me off guard. He pulled
away and immediately started to walk away, tugging me along. "Come
along. We must join the other again."

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	Every time I read a story of Nifty, I never read the top part, so
just in case you are like me and only read the bottom portion if you liked
the story, here is my email again: wah.stories@yahoo.com. If you email me,
please state what story you're referring to. Thanks for reading the thirty
second chapter of my story. :)

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