Date: Wed, 26 Oct 2011 19:54:25 -0700 (PDT)
From: Kiddo Xavier <discreetlyweird@yahoo.com>
Subject: Out of Rhythm Part 14: It?s hard to let go

Out of Rhythm Part 14: It's hard to let go

The events and people you are about to be read are only work of fiction and
just a product of my imagination. Any similar events are extremely
coincidence and not a proof of copying. Be aware of the sexual orientation,
although it is really part of it. O.o

-Xander

weeks after

"Shut the fuck up Renz!" I exclaimed. If it wasn't because of my weak body,
I would have thrown this man out of my room. "Stop playing like you're the
victim here. I may have lost my memory but not my mind!"

He looked at me in grieving eyes. "But I love you. And I know we both had
gone too much but we never gave up. Please hear me out."

"I said shut the fuck up. Then how can you explain all this--- this
memories that are cracking on my head Huh? You cheated on me and played
with me. You all played with me."

He had his head down. "What do you want me to do?" He asked in hoarse
voice.

"I want you out in my life! And I don't want to see your fucking face
again." I scolded.

It was quiet then. He looked up with me with a trace of tears falling
down. It was the saddest face I could ever saw in my 18 years of life. He
then forces a smile then walked away. I felt my chest tighten and it kept
on tightening. I held it and for the first time I felt something hurtful
deep inside my heart. The pain was unbearable and I started to cry. Why am
I crying? I don't know that man......*

*Continuation.

"Water." I managed to choke out.
 My throat sore. A random man gave me a cup of it. Where am I? I can't
remember anything. Not that I typically can't remember anything, I can't
remember how I got here.

"Mom, Dad. What happened?" I asked.

"You're okay now." I looked at the man that gave me water. And damn all
devils he was the most perfect guy I ever saw. But I don't know him, and I
can't remember any records of seeing this guy.

"Who are you?" I rudely asked.

"What?" He smiled. Oh my sweet corn he's so cute to look at. He was wary in
a second then smiled again. "Come on Xanny stop joking around." He
chuckled.

Is this man crazy or what? "Hey only Jane call me that name." I pointed
out.  "Honey what's wrong? You're acting a little weird." My mom asked
patting my shoulder.

 "Mom I don't know him." I shrugged. "I can't even remember I know this
guy." I tensed uneasy. "And where's Clara, Jane and Jacob? Why am I here?
Ah damn this bruises, it hurts. Did I got on a car crash?" I continued. Why
can't I remember anything?

The doctor came in and Kyrian followed. I smiled."Kyrian dude!" I cheered.

"Oh you fucker!" He was about to launched himself in joy but I raised my
hands.  "Bruises dude watch it." I chuckled.

"So why am I here?" I asked. They all get pretty anxious which really
frustrates me. "Son, you really don't remember anything?" Dad asked.

"No. I already said, I can't remember anything or how did I get here. I
don't even remember this man" I pointed the random guy.

Kyrian was wary. "But he's your boyfriend dude. Renz."

NO WAY!

 I mean, he's so prefect and I would have known it. I gave him a frustrated
look under those apologetic light brown eyes. "But dude, I'm not gay."

I noticed father tensed. I know I am gay but I lied because my ignorant
father will get pretty upset.

"Come on dude stop fooling around, you came out remember?" Kyrian said
trying to make everything easy.

I froze. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"What year is now Xander?" The doctor asked.

"Uhm 2010." I said. "May 2010, I guess."

"Honey it's already September 2011." Mom breathed.

"This is what I'm scared of. Mr and Mrs Hummelford can I talk to you
outside?"  The doctor said.

"No. Tell me what's happening." I demanded. The Renz guy was pretty
frustrated as I am. "I have to clear it out now."

The doctor gave up. "I believe you have amnesia. You can't remember things
that happened in the last couple of months, specifically the range of, as
what you said, May 2010 until now."

"But how?" Dad said. "In most cases it really happened because of
repression and fatigue. In your case, you've suffered repression in your
whole body furthermore, you've been shot in your lungs near to you spinal
cord." I felt s harp pain in my back. "-which I'm still not certain,
triggers of memory lost also the oxygen on your head fluctuated. "

"Is he going to be okay?" Kyrian asked as Mom covered her mouth in shock.
"Amnesia is unpredictable sometimes we all need days if we are lucky but in
severe cases, never. You see amnesia transfers conscious memories in the
brains to its subconscious part. Usually it also happened in great
depression but the best way you can do is help remind him what happened to
the last couple of months."

I looked at Renz and he was as depressed as anyone in this room....

-Kyrian

"I never thought it'll be this complicated." Brittany breathed as Chester
was around him. We stood there outside his room.

"I think it's best if we don't speak things that are hurtful to remember."
I suggested. "It might just confuse him ."

"Yeah I say that's a plan. Jeez, he probably doesn't know me either."
Floren said in crossed arms. "But we should try our best to tell all the
happy hours we had. I just wish it'll make him remember as fast as
possible."

Renz was there on the wall leaning down as his head was in deep anxiety. I
bumped him. He snapped wake. "Ye-yeah I guess that's great." He said in
heavy eyes.

I wrapped my arms around him. He looked. "Dude everything will be fine. He
just can't remember you but it doesn't mean he doesn't love you."

He sighed.

"That's right." Brittany said. "All you have to do is be with him all the
time and make him feel how you love him before. You'll see he'll remember
you."

"I don't know. It really frustrates me. At least when he said he doesn't
love me it was depressing but our memories are there but when he said he
doesn't know me, it just, I don't know how to say it.... It's like I didn't
passed in his life. You know what I mean."

"Renz he loved you and you should keep that in your mind." Floren said
pointing it clear. Renz nodded.

"Okay now were over with that, why don't we go in there and help him
remember everything." We all agreed and walked inside where Xander, Clara,
Jane and Jacob are laughing at each other.

-Xander

For days, my body started to heal.Days pass the lesser the gauzes are. I
still can't remember all the things but I am having fragments but every
time I could remember things, my head will ached as hell. I didn't push
harder, besides there are my friends around helping me to remember my lost
stuffs. They told me things I have forgotten though it was not helpful
enough. I met this Floren guy whom I really don't know but he was
attractive and optimistic. Brittany whom I thought will never be my friend
because she's distant in 10th grade. His boy friend Chester too who is
quite protective but funny. But the awesome thing was, I never knew that I
already came out in my closet without me remembering I did.  And I felt
better although I ended up being beaten by my dad' mistress which is quite
vague and complicated. They all told me everything but sometimes there are
things that don't fit in. I let it go either.

What I was rather enjoying, but I'm not showing it, is the company of my so
called hottest boyfriend, Renz. My heart always pounded when he's around
especially when he says how much he loved me. I didn't give back those
words though. I can't give my heart to someone I don't know yet. I
pretended that I am irritated to him to see how pursuing he was but often
times he sees me staring at him and he will just smile. I on the other hand
blush like an apple.

I was awakened by soft strums of a guitar as I pretend I was sleeping. I
knew it was Renz and suddenly he sang.

"You're so hypnotizing Could you be s devil? Could you be an angel?  Your
touch magnetizing Feels my body floating, leave my body glowing They say be
afraid You're not like the other, futuristic lover Different DNA, they
don't understand you...." He sang. Damn it, I never knew my boyfriend have
a kick ass voice. No wonder he's mine. Do I know this thing when I am with
him, when I can still remember?

I open my eyes and looked at him. He was just perfect in the dawning
light. "Oh did I wake you up babe? I'm sorry I'll stop." He said dropping
his guitar. "No." I said. "Go on, it's hot day, letting it storm will cool
down things."

"Really?" He stated. I made a face. He then chuckled and picked it up
again.

"You're from a whole another world.  A different dimension, You open my
eyes And I'm ready to go leave me into the light

Kiss me, kiss me. Infect me your loving, fill w/ your poison.  Take me,
take me wanna be your victim ready for abduction.  Boy, you're an alien,
you're touch so foreign It's supernatural, extra terrestrial.."  I then
laughed. He stopped looking at me quizzically. "So technically I'm an
alien."  I chuckled. "No. no. It's actually a metaphor. Don't you get it?"
He said a little wary thinking if he offended me. "I knew I shouldn't have
experimented on that Katy Perry song."

I laughed again. "Well, sometimes I thought how I look when I have a sloppy
tentacles and tennis-ball black eyes." I said putting my both hands behind
my arms. He came closer.

"I still think you look beautiful." He said looking at me like a treasure
box of a pirate. His face then changed. "I love you." He said. I looked at
that light caramel face fill with passion and sincerity. He was just
perfect.

I smiled then leaned in for a kiss. I don't know why but it's what I wanted
that time. He kissed back caressing my face. He was about to part but I
grabbed him pulling him on my bed. I kissed him hard and it was like I
missed his lips after a decade. He was almost lying as I kept lapping my
lips on him. "hey, cool down babe." He said.

I frowned. "No wonder why I forget about you. You might be that pussy." I
said rolling my eyes and let him go. "Really?" He chuckled grabbing my face
and kissing me wet in my lips again. It felt so good to have him. He then
laid on top me grinding his crotch on mine. Damn it I know he loved me and
I can't deny that I really love this guy. He roamed his hand around my body
and I grabbed his crotch massaging it. "I can't believe were doing this."
He chuckled kissing my neck. I chuckled. "Who would know?" I breathed and
continued kissing him wet.

We are in the middle of a make out session when someone knocked on the
door.  Renz jumped rolling his body to the other side and falling
down. "O-oh!" I said wishing that I had grabbed him. He laughed hard as I
lay there laughing too.

"See what I mean?" Renz chuckled standing up. "I'm sorry." I said
blushing. He got to door and swung it open. "Hey Mr. Malic"

I looked at the door. And it was an old man. He had a gray hair with a
chocolate complexion and surely weak. "Xanny this is Mr. Joseph Malic he
was the one who told us where you were that night on the Welding house." He
had innocent eyes that were very friendly.

"I brought you some cookies." He said handed me a plastic bag. "Sir you
shouldn't have." I said. "Thank you very much with your help sir. If it's
not because of you, I might be dead right now."

"It's not a problem. I'm sure everyone will do the same thing that I
did. It's a good thing I was picking metals that night." He said
smiling. "God may give mercy for the soul who did this to you." I didn't
react to it. I just pulled him in a hug. "Thank you again sir. I awe you my
life." We parted. It's rare nowadays to see noble people who are ready o
risk their lives to save someone. And I wanted to pay it back.

 "Anyway sir, dad had an opening job as a janitor in their office. You want
to try it? I'm sure you'll get the job." I asked. His face lifted. "Bless
you son." He started to sob. "No sir, bless you." I corrected.

Renz was staring at me in delight...

-Kyrian

Sam stood there in his car leaning his back. He waved me. I ignored him. He
then rushed beside me. "What do you want?" I snapped.

"Grumpy much?" He said. "I'm just checking out my friend."

Well there's nothing wrong with it. I relaxed a little. "I think I'm fine
after what just happened." I said. He rolled his eyes. "You still can't get
over with that kiss, are you?" It's not what I mean. I hesitated. "ha you
wish." "Hey I just want to make it clear that it was nothing. We can say
that it's out little teenage experiment."

"Yeah I get it considering that you're not using your head."I said. He
chuckled.  "Why don't we just list that in our one of the weirdest thing
that happened just like what you and Xander did." His face got little pale.

I chuckled. "But you're not my best buddy." I reminded. "So are you." He
shrugged. "Let's just think it as our dirty little secret, everyone has
it." He continued.

I pondered. He got a point. "I like that." I shrugged. "Considering that
we're both straight right?"

"Of course we are Tyson." He laughed. "I like hanging out with you
Kyrian. Renz was right. You're cool and I don't want those things keep it
from knowing a good friend." He added. I looked at those green eyes again
which always had my attention.

"yeah let's just keep it on ourselves. I don't like labeling and you seem
cool too." I stated. "So you wanna give it a try again?" I offered the
board he gave me.

"Naw I'll pass. My back killed me after that day." He said making a
face. We laughed. "So you wanna grab some pizza?" He smiled.

"Your treat." I stated and not in a question tone. He rolled his
eyes. "Alright then."

Guess that settled it. We're only friends. How I wish it'll be just like
that.....

-Floren

I stomped my feet like I was about to make an earthquake in anger. I hated
when things get pretty complicated.

*Flashback I saw Brian kissing her girlfriend as he was with the other
straight jocks on the cafeteria. I felt a little betrayed though I have no
rights. If only his friends knew.  But that was out in my hand. We fooled
around in my house and that's it. I fooled around other boys and it was
just that.

"Earth to Floren." Brittany said. I snapped out and looked at her as
Chester was behind her eating his lunch. "Jeez, what's with you
Floren. Your day dreaming for the last couple of days. You have a problem?"

"No." I simply said. "I'm just worried to Xander." I lied.

"He'll be fine okay. Free your head Mr. Brainy." Brit said. "Why don't you
explore other things, use your bad-ass face, find some guys around."

I rolled my eyes in annoyance. "Why don't you just leave Floren babe."
Chester chuckled. "He's old enough to look for himself." I nodded to
Chester.

"I know." Brit snapped. "I'll talk to Dylan. I bet he's gay too. I have
awesome gaydar you know." I just shook my head.

******

I don't know if it's me but I was starting to get pretty irritated on how
Brian acted.  How he act straight and his jock friend don't know how gay
this man is. He has to stop before things get pretty complicated. And I'm
worried about him, what if they can't accept him.

"Hey can I talk to you?" I said as he was with the other football players
laughing.  "Oh the fag wants to talk to you." Dexter said. They laughed
including him. "Get lost." He said.

I pondered a little. "Yeah right." I said feeling pretty stupid. "You know
what?  Fuck you, all of you." I said turning.

"What did you said?" Dexter muttered pushing me. I tumbled down. They
laughed. Brain stare but didn't do anything. "Let's get out of here before
he spreads his fairy dust." Aaron patted. And they walked away.

I stood up fixing myself and picking up my things. Then someone grabbed my
books. "Hey don't think about them." "Assholes." I hissed. I looked up and
saw one of the nicest faces I ever saw. He had a clean cropped brown hair,
broad face and deep blue eyes. My jaw fell open. He smiled. "Here." He
handed me my books. "I'm Chuck by the way." I grabbed his hand and shook
it. "Floren." I smiled back.

******

I kept walking on the afternoon light back to our house. A car then stopped
near me. "Hey what are you doing here alone?" Brian asked. I looked at him
with anger. Not another asshole. "Leave me alone." I muttered as I kept
walking. "Hey will you stop with your tantrums? Come I'll give you a ride."
He offered.

"Oh now you're being nice, love it." I said sarcastically as I kept
stomping the yard never looking at him.

"Hey." He called. "Hey! Stop walking and put your ass in my truck." He
demanded. "You'll get pretty late if you will walk back home." He
pointed. I looked at him in irritation and got to his truck. As he drove, I
didn't look at him or neither thing around inside. I just kept my eyes
straight in the rode in mad face.

"So you're not telling me why you're all by yourself?" He asked
politely. "Why do you care?" I spat back. "Last time I check you let your
straight jock friends pick on someone which is exactly just like you."

He gulped a little. "You know I just can't do what you want. I'm different
from you." He mumbled a little upset.

"And what does it make me different with you huh?" I snapped. "You're
brave, I'm not." He said looking away. I stopped pondering his words. Well
he's not really that brave to come out and probably not ready for it. It
kept quiet for some time.

"So you still not going to tell me?" He broke the silence. "My dad didn't
picked me up. He said he would and it's nearly an hour and a half so I
decided to walk." I sighed.

"You hungry?" He asked reaching the small compartment in front of me. He
handed me some Sneakers. "Chocolates cool down hot temper." He said.

"hmm." I said haughtily. I was really hungry so I ate it. "thanks."

He made a turn as I notice he was tensed. "Thanks again for the treatment
the other day. It really worked." He said.

Looking at him drive was something; I guess I'm just attracted again. "Yeah
don't mention it." I said.

"And I like the thing that happened after that." He said blushing but never
meeting his eyes. I felt uneasy about it. ''Can we change topic?" I
snapped. I don't like where it is getting.

He then stopped before we reached our street. He killed the engine and
looked at me. "I'm sorry about earlier, I'll promise I'll try to wave off
stuffs when things picked on you so they'll leave you alone."

"Do you know why I wanted to talk to you?" I asked he nodded no. "It's
because you look like a jerk. You kept on hiding on your name so they
wouldn't know. But you know what? I feel sorry for you because that is not
what you want. Hell I don't even know if you like that girl." I said
bluntly. "I'm your friend here and I know how hard to pretend so stop it
before it gets pretty messy."

"You don't know anything about me." He said putting his head down. I patted
him. "Just so you know I'm always on your side but I can't bear to see my
friends suffer."

"I like you." He then said. It freaked me out a little. "And I wanted to be
close to you but please understand I'm not ready to come out. Please
understand that."

I felt irritated then. "Then do understand if I don't want to be close to
you unless you decided to be yourself." I said hopping out of his
truck. "Floren---" I didn't looked back. He was so na‹ve.......

-Xander

"You know what?" I said. "I think I love Renz." I smiled while I was
looking at the ceiling. Things are getting better now. No more wounds and
little bruises only. I can walk out of the bed too. Mom just bought some
grubs outside. I was having this patient-sickness here in the hospital. I
heard Kyrian chuckled.

"What?" I looked at him. "Well technically you should." He said. "He's your
man and of all the things that you got through? I don't think you'll have
the guts of not loving him."

Those words bother me. "Do we really got that pretty chaotic? I mean, you
told me wonderful things but when it comes to bad things still I have no
clue." He tensed a little. "Can't you spit it out, you're my best friend so
I trust you." I continued.

"Let's play cards." He said changing the topic. "Kyrian!" I snapped. "If
you want me to recover then tell me everything even if it hurts to
remember."

He sighed. "I can't. Those things are out of my hand. And only you and Renz
could talk about it." He said. "But you know everything. Besides, I don't
want to hurt Renz."

He smiled and took something from his pocket. "He will if you won't where
this."  He gave me a silver bracelet. "It's his gift to you on your
birthday."

I took it smiling as I trace the beauty of it. Then I read the
engraving. "Love you. - Renz."

Then like a lightning strike. Some of my memories exploded on my head.

There was this memories when Renz punched me at the bar,when he was
flirting a girl not sure if it was Trisha, when he was having sex with her,
when Renz was having sex with another girl again, when he ignored me, when
he only wanted nothing but sex with me and finally when he had sex and
cheated with his Ex as I made a truce with his father just to stopped his
sufferings with me.

Next thing I know, a tear falls down. Kyrian rushed before me. "What is it
buddy?" He asked warily.

"Tell me, it's not only because of my father why I am here right?" I glared
at him.  His eyes widened. "Renz is the reason why this all things
happened." "Xander it's not what you think." He said. "Why don't you take a
rest---" "No!" I scoffed. "I can remember little things now, things that
you all hiding! How can he do this to me while I'm there in the front of
his father mocking me just to stop his sacrifices?  Didn't he really loved
me?" I felt a very familiar pain in my heart.

"Xander calm down. Everything has a reason." Kyrian said. "Get out!" I
yelled.  Renz betrayed me........

-Peter

"Sir he's on your office." One of the guards beeped in the conference room.

"Really?" I said bluntly. "What's he doing?" "He's taking all the stalked
pictures from your desk." He said to the other line. "I'm coming up." I
said.

And what is this man up to? I walked pass the room and headed to my
office. I have to convince him one way or another. I can't let him spread
his affection with this man to the world. He's the future of the company
and he must comply to everything I said. I swung the door open and Renz
jumped as I caught him rambling at my desk.

"Stealing pictures now?" I said unaffectionate. "What are going to do with
those malicious photos of yours?"

He gave a dead stare then shrugged. "I don't suspect you don't know what
happened to Xander. He had amnesia and I wanted him to remember things and
I think these pictures could help, besides, your photographer is good
taking nice angels especially when I kissed my boyfriend here." He raised
one photo of them kissing.

"So he doesn't remember you? How ironic." I said. His face changed. "Don't
you think that those things that happened to him has a reason? Why he lost
his memories?" He pursed his lips in anger. "Clearly you're not really
meant for each other, besides no man is meant for another man. That's
pathetic."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah what do I expect from you? Nothing, at least
that's the best answer I can have from you. Nothing interesting and not
quite annoying." He said walking away.

"I'm going to Manhattan." I snapped, he stopped. "You can be with me there
and finish you 12th grade. We will start all over again if you want, just
come with me and I will forget everything that happened. I will help you
recover from all this phase." He looked at me with frustration. "This is
what you want right? I'm ready to be your father again, just come with me."

"And what if I stay?" He asked. I looked at him not wanting to say the
words.

"Then you'll rot here with him." I hissed.

He had seconds thinking before he lifted his head. "I choose him." He
simply said and walked away. I stared at him in deep anger.

So be it........

-Renz (a day earlier)

"What's happening dude? I thought everything is okay now?" Floren asked in
wariness. I stood at the hall way of the hospital composing myself.

"Yah everything is okay. I just want you to give him this." I handed the
camera and a letter. "Please give it to him when you got to his room."

"Why don't you give it to Xander yourself?" He asked. "It's a surprise you
know."  I lied under my teeth. He smiled. "Ha I like surprises." He
said. "Okay he'll get it befor you know it boy." He patted my arms.

"Thanks Floren." I said. "Take care of him always." His face changed as I
walked away in heavy burden. It'll be over now......

********* *flashback I was still in the leisure of taking what father had
offered me. How could he gave me that option. He knows I won't accept it
but still he gave it a try. But Xander is more important to me now. He was
the one I wanted to be and if it means to rot just to be with him then I'll
freely take it.

I hid the pictures behind me, I wanted to surprise Xander about this. I got
to his room and he was standing at the window staring blankly. "Hey, you
walking now?" I greeted. He had these furious eyes in me in instant.

"Tell me, do you have anything to do why I am here right now?" He asked
dead. I took a step back in his action. I looked at him don't know what to
say.

He smiled disapprovingly. "Thought so." He said. I came closer to
him. "Babe can you remember now?" I blurted.

"Frankly, no. But come to think of this fragments that I'm seeing just now
made me think that it's really because of you why I am here." He
said. "What did you remember?" I asked warily.

"Nothing." He looked at me in pain. "Just stuffs like when you all wanted
from me is sex and oh yeah, and when I caught you fucking that Janice while
I was pessimistically rubbing my pride down and asked your father about a
little agreement."

What does my father have to do with this? "What are you talking about?"

"Oh you don't know about it? I think I just asked him to help me set you up
so you could see me as if I cheated at you so you could go back to your
petty life which ironically ended up, you fucking that Janice catching you
as the real one who's betraying." He said in watery eyes.

"I'm sorry Xander that's not what I really meant." I said finally realizing
that he was remembering all the hurtful things I had done. But why is it
has to be those memories?

"Just be honest to me." He said. "Did those things I saw are real?"

I nodded yes. "But babe I really not meant it, I was drunk and----"

"No wonder I lost my memories, to forget all the piece of shit that you
done to me." He said fighting the tears to come down. "Awful thing is, I
can't remember the whole thing and yet it hurt as hell."  "Don't you think
that those things that happened to him have a reason? Why he lost his
memories?" I heard my dad's voice echoed in my head. "Please listen to me
Xander let me tell you all that happened. This are-----" I pleaded.

"Shut the fuck up Renz!"He scolded.

-Xander

"Shut the fuck up Renz!" I exclaimed. If it wasn't because of my weak body,
I would have thrown this man out of my room. "Stop playing like you're the
victim here. I may have lost my memory but not my mind!"

He looked at me in grieving eyes. "But I love you. And I know we both had
gone too much but we never gave up. Please hear me out."

"I said shut the fuck up. Then how can you explain all this--- this
memories that are cracking on my head Huh? You cheated on me and played
with me. You all played with me."

He had his head down. "What do you want me to do?" He asked in hoarse
voice.

"I want you out in my life! And I don't want to see your fucking face
again." I scolded.

It was quiet then. He looked up with me with a trace of tears falling
down. It was the saddest face I could ever saw in my 18 years of life. He
then forces a smile then walked away. I felt my chest tighten and it kept
on tightening. I held it and for the first time I felt something hurtful
deep inside my heart. The pain was unbearable and I started to cry. Why am
I crying? I don't know that man......

-Renz

Peter was right; this was the reason why all his memories about me was
erased. It is for him to forget all the pains that I had done. All those
damages that I created in his heart must be forgotten. Love can touch in
one time but last for real lifetime and so is pain. Guess this is what
other's called it. Love is the twin brother of pain.  And I don't want to
cause another one with Xander. He had so much with me and I deserve to be
forgotten.

I lay on our bed in our apartment where we use to make love. I loved him
but he had enough and I can't let him spend another minute in grief. I
stared at the pictures that I got from my dad's desk. We are so perfect but
so are we not. But still I awe him this memories, these happy things that
we shared. It's the least I can do

I dialed his number and it rung. "Yeah this is Peter, who's this?"

"Dad, I'm coming" I said under my hoarse voice.

-Xander

*present I don't know why but it really hurt when I said those words to
him. I kept telling to my mind that I don't know him that he was only part
of my past that gave me only grieves but why did I feel like I lost
something very important in my life. Is he really that significant? I know
I loved him but remembering those things just answers my question. He was
the cause of all my grief. And now I got rid of him but why am I kept on
weeping.

"Xander?" Floren said. "Darn it, what happened?"

"I got rid of Renz." I sobbed. "I had this memories that he was the cause
to everything and now I told him that I didn't want him to be in my
life. But here I am, I can't stop crying, damn it." What's wrong with me.

Floren grabbed me. "Xander no, you get it all wrong." I looked at him. "He
may cause you pain but your memories are not complete. You shouldn't come
in a conclusion."

I took my arms back. "And who should I blame?" I scolded.

"Me." I heard someone said. We both turned and saw a familiar face.

"Brian." Floren breathed.

"I was the reason to everything." He said in a low tone. "I threatened
Floren's life and he asked you for your help which ended up catching you
and Floren. Renz thought you were cheating to him. I should be the one you
blame. I'm so sorry for bring an asshole."

"Yeah guess what?" I said. "Damages are done and it doesn't make any
difference."

"No you can still correct things." Floren demanded handing me a piece of
paper and a videocam. I looked at Brian then him and back to the letter. I
read it.

Xander,

	I am a jerk, I know. That's something that's unchangeable to me and
probably the reason why you are so hurt right now. I am the one to blame to
everything that happened to you and I don't want to cause any problems
anymore. I love you in any way as possible. So I'll freely accept if you
wanted me out of your life. Believe me, all I wanted was the best for you
and you deserve all the happiness in this world.

	I never meant those things to happened let's say I just love you so
much that I've been that stupid. But please believe me when I say that we
really love each other. I love you and you love me. And maybe because of
this, we will just keep hurting each other. I don't want to believe with my
father that we are not really meant for each other cuz I know we are. I'm
leaving because you deserve to be happy. And I can't just be, if I am near
to you.

	But I want to be honest to you. Please get to the airport as soon
as you get this letter. I'm flying back to Manhattan, New York. I don't
want to leave you.  So please take me back if ever I still had a chance to
you ......

Renz.

There were tears everywhere. Damn it, it only made everything worse. I
opened the video and played it. He was there looking straight at me. He was
in a rotting apartment holding his guitar.

"Hey." He said on the video. "So did you read the letter? I know that crap
just made you more confused." He paused then started to cry. "I love you
Xander and I know I made a mistake, you know I'm good in hurting you and I
suck. But I really do. You're the best thing that happened to me." I held
my breath fighting not to sob. "And I just want you to know that I awe you
something worth remembering and not all those awful things I done to
you. So let me tell you this. All I wanted was to have you back for good."

He then started playing his guitar strumming in the nicest way.

"I guess now it's time for me to give up I feel it's time Got a picture of
you beside me Got your lipstick mark still on your coffee cup"

He sang as pictures of us started to make a transition in the video. There
were when we first met, when we are at the McDonalds, when I was under the
rain when I've been kicked out at my apartment and when he guided me inside
his car. And before I got aware of it, I was remembering all those pictures
and what exactly had happened.

"Got a fist of pure emotion Got a head of shattered dreams Gotta leave it,
gotta leave it all behind now."

 He continued as I gasped in realization that all that happening was just a
fluke.  There were now pictures when we are kissing, when he put that Ruby
Necklace in my neck and when he pronounced his love to me at the front of
everybody at school.

"Whatever I said, whatever I did I didn't mean it I just want you back for
good Whenever I'm wrong just tell me the song and I'll sing it You'll be
right and understood I want you back for good."

I then shook as all my memories flashed back on my head. It all came by one
strike. The time when I made the plan, when I was kidnapped and got beaten,
when Renz tried to save me and when I saved him from Cathy's bullet. It all
crawled back it my head. "Renz." I breathed.

"And will be together This time is forever We'll be fighting and forever we
will be So complete we will never be uncovered again.  Whatever I said,
whatever I did I didn't mean it I just want you back for good Whenever I'm
wrong just tell me the song and I'll sing it You'll be right and understood
I want you back for good

I guess it's time to get you back for good." He finished singing with tears
in his face as he cut the video.

I was back. All my memories are back. And now Renz is on his way to the
plain and I have to stop him NOW..........

************

So that's it for the second to the last chapter of Out of Rhythm... I'm
sorry guys for the delays and I fed up my schedule so much that I almost
forgot about this stuffs. Any ways I have a bad news, I think season two
will be scrapped because of my unfruitful time but instead I guess I'm
making a One huge story that sums up season two and will be posted here at
nifty. It is some sort of epilogue for the other remaining characters left
untold.  I'm sorry again guys and about the Science and Fiction story
thing, I might also not post it because there's abit of a random things in
my head and I can't make a stable decision about it. Give me some time
dudes.

Tell me about what you think about this chapter just email me here at
discreetlyweird@yahoo.com bad and good are al welcome. One more chapter to
go and Out of the Rhythm will be officially done and it might be a welcome
for 'What the Hell is Happening' (Season two) CHEERS!