Date: Wed, 1 Sep 1999 15:43:30 -0500
From: Brent Stewart <brent@cutey.com>
Subject: Outted in HS, Chapter V

"He loves me"

Robert removed his lips from mine and sat back on his ankles.  He was
staring at my face to gauge my reaction from having kissed me.  I looked at
him sitting there with an expectant look on his face.  His frightened and
pleading eyes continued to pierce my soul.  I just continued to stare at
him and saw a nervous twitch in his cheek.  I was feeling very lightheaded,
as if all the blood had drained from my face and I was being deprived of
oxygen.

"Brent?  Are you all right guy? Please say something."  As he spoke, I
noticed a single tear swell in his right eye and build until the weight
carried it down his cheek.

I was transfixed on it.  It reached his jaw line; a shining trail marked
its passage.  He was so beautiful.  His hair had a sheen to it, as the sun
coming through my bedroom window accentuated the normal luster of it,
creating an aura of competing brilliance, trying to push back the darkness
of his blue-black hair.  My mind was assimilating what I had just been
told.  Robert didn't just come out to me.  He didn't say, "Brent, I'm gay
and I want to have sex with you."  He said volumes more.  He said he loved
me.  My best friend, the object of so many of my desires, hopes and dreams,
loved me.  I took my gaze away from the tear and looked into his eyes
again.  I was caught and landed by the love and depth of emotions flowing
out from them.  I couldn't hold the gaze anymore and let my head fall until
my chin touched my bare chest.  Tears fell from my eyes and hit my towel
wrapped lap, where they were quickly absorbed in the soft cotton.

"Oh Brent, I'm so sorry," Robert again pleaded, "Please don't hate me!
I'll never do that again, I swear!  Just talk to me.  I never would have
kissed you if I thought I'd hurt you this much.  I've just been so
confused.  It's just that every time we go our separate ways lately, I've
gotten this tightness in my chest, like I was losing a part of myself and
that I'd never get it back.  Then when I'd see you again, the pain would
disappear.  I thought I saw love in your eyes when you looked at me and my
heart was so full of joy. I didn't want to wait another day without telling
you I loved you too." and reached out to touch my shoulder.

When his hand connected with my bare shoulder, I involuntary flinched as if
touched with a hot iron.  Say something to him you idiot.  He thinks he's
hurt you.  What are you waiting for?

When I flinched at his touch, Robert took it as total rejection.  His
emotions broke through whatever barrier had held them in check and he began
to sob openly.  Tears were flowing down his face.  He stood up and gathered
his duffle from beside the bed.  He wiped his face and tried to stem the
flow of tears that clouded his vision.  He went to the bedroom door, then
turned to me and said, "I love you," then turned to leave the room.

"Don't go." I whispered "Don't leave me Robert; don't ever leave me." I
said in a small voice looking at him as he turned around to look at me.
Tears continued to roll and tumble down his face and fall to the floor.
"You said you loved me.  Did you know that no one has ever told me that
before?  Sure, my mother and father say it, but they have to, don't they?
But you, you said you loved me.  Do you really love me Robert?  Do you love
me the way I have loved you for the last two years?  Do you lay awake at
night, staring at the ceiling, wondering what I'm doing?  What I'm dreaming
about?  Do you wish I'd take you in my arms and hold you tight each time I
saw you?  Does the simple act of my walking within your sight cause your
breath to catch?  That's how I feel Robert.  That's how much I love you.
So please don't leave me."

Robert dropped his duffle back on the floor and slowly walked towards me.
His progress was playing in my minds eye as if he were caught in slow
motion.  He extended his arms as he reached my bed.  I stood up and he
enfolded me in his arms and held me tight to his chest.  When his arms came
in contact with my bare skin again, I did not flinch.  I molded myself
within that grasp to become part of him.

"I could never leave you," he said through emotion strained vocal cords.
He loosened his grip on my back and moved his face to where he was looking
directly into mine.  "I love you Brent.  There's no stronger way I can say
it.  There's no deeper emotion that I possess than the feelings I have
inside for you.  If I could have said these words to you first, instead of
them being said in that movie, Jerry McGuire, we saw a couple of years
back, I would have.  'You complete me.'

"Shut up.  Just shut up.  You had me at hello ... you had me at hello." I
said.  We both looked at each other and the tension was replaced with the
sound of hysterical laughter as we both broke the hug.  I was laughing so
hard that the muscles in my stomach were cramping up and I couldn't catch
my breath.  Robert was having as much trouble as I was and each time our
eyes would meet, a new round of hysterics would begin.  I leaned forward,
trying to catch my breath and the towel I had wrapped around my waist came
loose and fell to the floor.  I looked down at it, then up at Robert.  When
I saw his eyes, they were as big around as saucers.  He was staring
directly at my naked body as if stunned.  This was too much for me to
handle, the look on his face, and again I was racked with bouts of
laughter.  I was so weak from the emotions of a few moments ago, that I
felt like I was going to fall to the floor.  I fell on my bed and continued
to laugh at the sight of Robert's shocked expression.

Finding the strength to speak, I managed to say to Robert, "Damn, you look
like I just scared the shit out of you. You should see the look of shock on
your face.  I wish I had a picture of it.  Maybe I could sell it to the
theaters to make a poster of and display in the lobbies of scary movies."
Then lost it again.  My stomach was beginning to ache from the strain of
laughing and I finally regained control and sat up on the edge of the bed.

"Damn Brent!  I remember in middle school we used to tease you about the
size of your dick, but now it looks even bigger and that body of yours!
Your absolutely gorgeous dude!"

I looked down at my naked body, and then blushed from the tips of my toes
to the top of my head.  "You need to stop saying things like that.  It
feels like I'm constantly blushing around you.  It's embarrassing when
we're around other people.  Besides, I'm not that great.  Look at yourself.
Now there's a perfect body.  Muscles in all the right places and that
package I saw when you showed me your "rash".  Didn't you see me drooling?"

"Not at all!" he said.  "You hide it very well.  If I had seen you
drooling, I would have thrown myself on you and we could have avoided all
of this.  I was so scared that you would find out how I really felt about
you.  As far as I knew, you were the 'straightest" person I had ever met,
but I was also getting these little signals from you.  Talk about
conflicting emotions.  I kept doing little things that would suggest that I
was attracted to you, but you'd always blush or just ignore me.  By the
way, your blushing makes you even cuter than you are already." And he threw
that charming smile my way, "but you'd just take what I did in stride."  As
Robert spoke he seemed to be inching his way closer to me as I sat on the
bed.  "You know, you were really cruel sometimes." He stated as a matter of
fact.

"Me? Cruel? How so?" I asked.

Robert made it to the bed at this point and sat down next to me.  I turned
and faced him, waiting for him to explain himself.  "All the times I've
spent the night here over the years and the two of us sleeping in this very
bed.  This house of yours has 6 bedrooms.  Your brother and sister have
both moved out and your parents sleep in the same room.  That leaves 4
rooms that are never occupied, yet each time I stayed over, you insisted
that I stay in your room and sleep in your bed with you."

"Well, I wanted you close by.  Besides, we'd spend most of the night on the
PlayStation or Internet or just listening to music and talking.  How the
hell could we do that, if you were off in another room?" I shot back.

"Whoa! Don't get pissed, just hear me out.  There was so many nights that
I'd wake up and see you sleeping next to me.  You know you like to sleep on
your back?" he asked me.

I nodded.  "My mother told me that I slept this way from habit. When I was
little, I had problems breathing through my nose.  She took me to a nose
specialist and he did a procedure that enlarged my nasal passages so I
could breath more freely.  It was too late though, because I had already
developed the habit of sleeping on my back.  I still don't see how I've
been cruel.  Do I snore?"

"No, no... If you'd let me finish!" he sighed.

"Alright! Jeez, go ahead."  He's so cute, I thought as he started
explaining again.

"Anyway, you must have some really vivid dreams.  I'd be watching you sleep
and your eyes would be darting around beneath your lids.  Sometimes you'd
lick you lips, or make little sucking noises with your mouth.  This would
drive me crazy and make me so horny.  I would watch you to see if your
dream was getting you excited.  Every time, without fail, you would start
to get hard under the sheets.  I'd watch as your dick jumped under the
sheet and grow with each passing moment.  You'd moan and make noises that
would almost make me cum in my briefs.  God how I wanted to reach out and
hold your dick as it expanded under those sheets."

"STOP!" I blushed.  "You're embarrassing me!  You'd lie there and watch
this go on?  You should have shifted in the bed or something to wake me
up!"  I needed to stop him.  I casually looked down at my exposed cock and
could tell that all of this was causing the blood to start pumping into my
shaft and if it continued, I'd be sitting here with a raging hardon in no
time.

"All right, all right!  I'll stop, but anyway, that's how you were cruel."
He stated.

"I still don't think that's cruel.  I was asleep and dreaming.  How did I
know what was going on with YOU?" I retorted.

Chuckling and leaning forward, Robert said, "Oh I think you knew exactly
what you were doing to me."  I gave him a quizzical look and he continued.
"More than once, I'd notice a smile form on your face as I watch your
nocturnal activities and your eyes would stop darting around.  Then you
would mumble some GIRL'S name!"

"Um...I would NOT!" I protested.

"Yes you would, you asshole!  Now tell the truth."  He jumped on the bed
laughing and pushed me down to lay flat on my back.  Then he wrestled on
top of me and pinned my arms above my head as he sat on my lap to prevent
me from getting up.  "You caught me staring at you those times, didn't
you?"

"Robert let me up!" I yelled.

Still laughing, he said, "Not until I here you confess the truth!"

With him sitting on my exposed cock and the closeness of his body as he
covered me, was just too much for me to take.  My cock started to fill up
once again and would soon be pressing against his clothed ass.  "All right!
I confess!  I confess!" I shouted.  "I didn't want you to think that I was
getting turned on by being in the bed with you, so when I saw you through
my squinted eyelids a couple of times, I thought that I had better mumble
some girls name or you'd think I was a perv!  Now get off of me you bully!"
I said.

"Ah ha! I told you so!" he beamed, then he leaned down and I felt his lips
connect with mine for the second time in one day.  I felt his tongue moving
against my closed lips and I parted them slightly to see if this was the
invitation he was looking for.  I felt his tongue enter my mouth and work
its way around and against my own.  He tasted so good!  The mixing of our
saliva and the feel of breath coming from his nose against my cheek was all
my cock needed to go to full mast.  He must have felt the hardness against
his ass, because he moved his legs back until he was now lying on top of
me, cock to cock.  I could feel his hardness through his shorts and he
slowly moved his hips up and down on top of mine.  I extracted my arms from
his now lose grip and ran my hands down his back, pulling him closer into
me.  I spread my legs and he responded by edging his body between them and
increasing the contact of our cocks.  I continued to move my hands down his
back until they were both on his ass.  I could feel his rhythm as he moved
his pelvis up and down and the muscles in his ass cheeks contracted with
each forward thrust.

What are we doing!  "Robert!" I disengaged from our kiss.  "Robert stop!
We have to stop!" I protested.

Robert focused on me and asked, "Why?  Brent I want to make love to you.
I've dreamt of this moment for so long and I love you so much.  Now that I
know you love me too, it makes me want you all the more."  He leaned
forward to once again engage in a kiss.  I rolled to the left and moved out
from under him.  My cock was still straining with the build up of teen
lust, mixed with the need to give Robert what I have wanted to for so long.

"I'm sorry Robert.  We can't do this now.  I want you too.  I want you with
every ounce of my being, but this wouldn't be right."

"Why not?" he asked and drew me in with those eyes that promised me
everything I ever wanted in life.

"It just wouldn't Robert.  We just confessed to each other no more than a
couple of hours ago that we have been in love with the other.  I should
have gotten dressed way before now.  It's my fault."  I moved towards my
dresser and got a shirt and pair of boxer-briefs out of the draw.  Robert
sat on the bed and watched me as I pulled the shirt over my head and
stepped in the briefs, pulling them up and over my deflating cock.  "Lets
just spend the rest of the evening holding each other and talking.
Please?" I asked.

"I don't understand," he said "You were as excited as I was, I could tell
Brent.  Why should we stop now?  I NEED you."

I walked over and sat next to him on the bed.  I reach for his face and
cupped both sides in my hands.  I looked at him, eyes meeting eyes, and
said, "We can wait one more night and day to let this all settle in and
give ourselves a chance to get used to BEING with each other, before we
GIVE ourselves to each other, can't we?  I want you as much as you want me
Robert," I could tell he wasn't accepting this well, but we HAD to wait,
didn't we?  "Just hold me, please?"

"Ok Brent.  If you want to wait, then we can wait." He didn't sound too
convincing. "But ONLY until tomorrow night, otherwise you better have 911
in your speed dial cause I'll rape you if you try this again!" he said as
he took me in his arms and I cuddled up in his embrace.  He looked down at
me and said, "I love you.  If you only knew how happy I am at this very
moment." His eyes began to get misty and I saw the signs of tears
developing.  I moved up and brought my lips together with his, and then I
said,

"You couldn't be more happier than I am at this very moment or more in love
with me, than I am with you.  It's just an impossibility."

"So, are you going to admit that you were cruel those nights I spent with
you in your bed?" He asked and lifted his eyebrows, awaiting my reply.

"Ok, I'll admit I was cruel, but YOU were even crueler."  At this, his
eyebrows came together and I continued, "You never ONCE gave me any
indication those nights that you'd let me experience the real thing with
you in my arms instead of only in my head." And I smiled.

"If you only knew how hard I tried to make myself the object of those
dreams" and he sighed.

"Robert, you WERE the object of those dreams."  And I once again pulled him
to me and melted in his arms as we kissed and shared our love for each
other.


--------------------------
Just a side note:  The hardest thing I thought I had ever done was to stop
Robert this first night after we confessed to each other.  It's kind of
funny how you remember what you were taught and apply it so readily to any
situation.  My parents always taught me that to fall in love was very
special and that when it happened, rushing the rest would only spoil the
memory of the moment.  I wonder if they would be proud of me, knowing that
I applied it to the first person I feel in love with and that the person
was a guy. ~:)~

I hope you enjoyed "He loves me".

Brent (brent@cutey.com)