Date: Tue, 18 Oct 2016 00:47:09 +0000 (UTC) From: KD D <kd_stories@yahoo.com> Subject: Paper Walls ch.18 Paper Walls. Chapter 18 Warning this story contains underage sex of the same sex! So if it's not legal where you are back out now! This story is completely fictional! All characters are made up with made up names! They are not supposed to represent anyone I know! Please do not copy or paste this story without my permission! Thanks and enjoy. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- "You sure you don't want to go with the rest of the team and celebrate?" my Dad asks as he locks the field house. "No." I say moving the strap of my bag to my other shoulder. "Son, it's going to be ok." He says. "Dad it's just been a long week." I tell him. "I agree, but you seem upset so I want to talk about it." he says. "I completely messed up on four plays!" I yell. "Yes I saw, but we also shut the other team out tonight." He counters. "I could have been better!" I say. He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, "Want to tell me why you are really upset?" "Because I lost focus." I tell him. "Care to elaborate?" He asks. "Ryder?" a voice asks coming around the corner. "Tyler? What are you doing here?" I ask. He puts his hands in his pockets, I take his skinny frame in he is wearing a long sleeve shirt and khaki pants that fit really good on him. I can smell his cologne from where I am standing. "I came to your game." "You did?" He shrugs his shoulders, "Yeah, thought maybe we could hang out after if you wanted. So I was waiting and I didn't see you come out and I thought maybe I missed you so I came over here to see if you were gone." "Mr. Ryder's dad, hey I am Tyler." He says putting out his hand. "Coach Kessler. I don't know you do I?" My dad asks. "No sir, I don't go to this school, I know Ryder from the hangout." He says. "The hangout?" My dad asks. "The thing I went to that Dr. Decker mentioned." I cut in. "Ah, I see. Were you the one who caused him to have an anxiety attack?" "No sir, I was there to help him through it." he says. "You play football son?" My dad asks, and I just roll my eyes. Tyler lets out his goofy laugh, "Not a day in my life." "Hmphh." My dad says. "But I play a real mean game of chess if you ever feel like testing your wits." He says. My dad actually cracks a smile, "So you're smart?" "Most days, I can't be smart all the time then people would feel inferior, and treat me different, then there are days that I act extremely blonde and I put my keys in the fridge, unless it's for school then I am smart, because I want to get into UT I hear they have an insane Frisbee club and that's fantastic!" he says. My dad is laughing at this point. "Boy the world needs to watch out for you, you can charm a snake can't you?" "I wouldn't want to be in contact with one they kind of really freak me out. It's terrible when I do see one it gets embarrassing." "So Ryder do you want to hang out with this guy here?" my dad asks. "Yeah I mean I guess I could." I say looking at the ground. "Well give me your bag then boy." My dad says. "1:00am tonight." He says looking at me as he takes my bag from me. "Really?" I ask. "Yes, you had a rough week, played a damn good game son, and Tyler just one condition you have to have dinner with us one day so I can get to know you. I like to know anyone who is in my son's life." "Would be a pleasure." He says. My dad hugs me, "Be careful have fun. Here is a few bucks." He says slipping me some money. I watch my dad walk away, and I look back at Tyler who is looking out at the field, "So." I say. "Sooooo, how are you?" "A bit sore, was tackled a few times." I say. "I saw that." He says. "How'd you know I play football let alone what school I go to?" He kicks the ground, "I kind of read your file...." "Why would you do that!" I say getting angry. He puts up his hands, "No wait I didn't read anything other than your name how old you were and what school you go to basic stuff. I promise, I would never disrespect anyone ever like that." He says. "Dr. Decker would be pissed if she knew?" "I don't know if that would cover it, it's also kind of illegal." He says. "Man you are a bad person....." I say smiling. He finally smiles, "So good game, I didn't know you were like this huge football god." I blush, "I'm okay." I say. "Whatever!" He nods his head and I follow him up the bleachers, he sits down, and I sit next to him I can feel the heat coming off of him. "So this is your element huh?" I shrug, "Guess so, but I don't know, some of the people I met here they keep telling me I need to find myself outside of the field. Like my ex....he was football crazed as well so it was like I was dating a really good friend and it was weird for me.....I mean Shawn who used to be the old quarterback here, who had family issues, he had to move and I miss him even though it was strange. At times he pushed me to find myself outside of football because I am the football machine I can call the plays before the coaches, and I can see who messes up where on the sidelines as soon as they take two steps. So I kind of find myself a weirdo here at first even though I am widely known for my football skills I just want to know who I am outside of the field. There has to be more to me than just that right? I'm sorry I am just rambling sorry." "No, please keep talking I mean this is great to hear you talking and not being so defensive." He says looking at me. I let out a breath. "Sorry I was a dick Sunday." "It's all good man, I would have been the same if it was me. So you are this insane football god, and you are really hot, "For all those reasons, when my dad first got here the team hated me, because they thought I was out to take quarterback position and granted I wanted it but my dad never would have allowed that until the position was open. Back in Dallas I was popular I had a ton of friends I loved it I was confident I was cocky. I had the perfect life." "What happened, I mean I can see the confident person every now and then at times but you seem like you are always scared of everything." "Just since I was adopted everything has been the same for me. It's was super structured I knew who I was, and yeah I would have these nightmares of when I was in Russia and the stuff that happened to me, but I had a counselor I could talk with, and trusted. I guess this just shook me up a lot more than I would have liked and as a result the nightmares started getting worse. Plus I started to doubt myself and well you know how kids can be." I tell him. "All this was when you first moved here?" "Yeah." "How is it now?" "Getting better." I say shooting him a smile. "I want to apologize again about Jaxson. He does feel bad about how much of a dick he was. But you will never get him to show it." "Why?" He lets out a little laugh, "That's just Jaxson. He's young and cocky, plus he's cute and he knows it so he constantly uses it to his advantage." "I still can't process that you came to my game." "Truthfully? Me neither, I figured I would try to see if I could catch you on your way out, I mean damn I have no idea what is going on with football. I mean I kind of just cheered when everyone on your side did. I mean I know you do have a lot of fans." "What do you mean by that?" I ask. "A lot of people were cheering for you." "Were you one of them?" I ask. I can see his smile in the glow of the stadium lights. "I'm not saying I wasn't cheering.....got a few looks too especially when you ran it all the way down the field for the goal." He says. "The touchdown." I correct him. "Like I said I don't know anything about football." "When are you gonna tell me more about you?" I ask. "I told you a lot about me Sunday." He says. "Then why are you living with Dr. Decker." I ask. "Okay if we are gonna do this, then if I tell you stuff you have to tell me stuff." "Deal." "I tried to commit suicide the first time three years ago and I was committed to Austin State Hospital, and I met Dr. Decker there." "The first time?" I ask. "Now your turn why are you seeing Dr. Decker?" I let out a breath. "I was adopted from Russia, and the things that happened to me well they have started to unravel from the mental block I created." "So why did you try to commit suicide?" "I didn't know how to come to terms with being gay." He says, "Now why is the mental block going away?" "Because now that I am getting older I want to learn more about who I am....where I come from, and I have never told anyone that...." I say and laugh. "So you tried to commit suicide, but how did you come to live with Dr. Decker?" He moves in front of me and sits on the rails on the bleachers and grabs my hands. "Promise you won't judge me?" I shake my head, "No I wouldn't do that." "I accepted the fact I was gay, I was happy I had a boyfriend I thought we were perfect. My father died of a heart attack and my mom well she never approved of me being gay. My boyfriend cheated on me with a girl, I was so heartbroken that when I told my mom she said that's what I get for being a abomination, and that I should kill myself.....long story short I did...well I tried. A friend found me before long and I had to have my stomach pumped again...and my mom begged for anyone to take me, so Dr. Decker did." He says avoiding my eye contact. "How'd you try to commit suicide the first time?" I ask. "The same as the second time which is stupid of course, my mom had a pill problem so I thought why not mix them all and drink alcohol." "Are you still?" I ask. He shakes his head, "no! I love my life hell I love myself now more than ever. I am a totally different person than I was back then. I have an amazing support system and a family that loves me for who I am. I am in a so much better mental and emotional state." "They don't think I know, but I know what my real parents did to me....they let people use me for drugs, or to get away with things they liked. I can clearly remember everything when my mother OD'd and my father was erratic, he needed to cover it up because if her family found out they would have had him killed. In Russia nothing is free and everything comes with a cost, well I was that cost except I fought back." I take his hand and slip it under my shirt and lay his hand on my scar, his touch feels hot and I feel that jolt again course through my body. I feel him rub the scar, "They stabbed me trying to get me to stop fighting them. I was left for dead in the street. I was placed in the orphanage and that was just as bad we were beaten a lot. I was small so I escaped a lot of it. Apparently I have an aunt who knew coach and pulled a lot of strings to get me out of there." "You remember all of this?" "Every detail." I say looking up at him. "I am so sorry Ryder I had no idea." "Not a lot of people do." "Have you told anyone this?" He asks sitting next to me I shake my head, "I don't want all this crap to define me. For months this has eaten at me and I am so fucking sick of it! I just want to be a normal teenager who likes guys, who enjoys playing and watching football! He laughs, and not the light one the full on laugh where he is clutching his sides. "Well you can be that teenager man." He says. "I know Dr. Decker is your foster mom, but I don't want to see her anymore. I don't want to see any of them." I say. "Well, she hasn't told you but she's planning to retire soon. She's opening up the hangout as a place where LGBT kids can hang out and relax." "What really?" "Yeah man it should be really cool." My stomach grumbles and I want to shoot myself in the face, and I hear Tyler crack up laughing again. "You hungry?" "Starving!" I tell him. "Come on lets go get some food." He says pulling me up by the hand. I like how warm his hand felt in mine, I blush as I let go of his hand. "Where are we going?" "Steak and Shake sound good to you?" he asks. "I don't know never been to one." "Dude they are so good it's cheap and amazing." He says smiling. I follow him to the parking lot, and I am waiting for him to go to his car but he makes his way over to a motorcycle, "This is mine." He says smiling. I look at him like he is crazy, "you don't drive a motorcycle." I say. "Yeah I do, Mr. Decker actually taught me how and put me through the courses. He actually got me this as a seventeenth birthday gift. It's a 2016 Yamaha Star bolt C-spec, granted it's not a super-fast bike, but it's nice and I like it." "Can you drive with passengers on it?" "Yeah I take Jaxson to school with me everyday man." He says. "Have you ever had a wreck?" I ask nervously. He grabs my hand and leads me closer to the bike, "Do you trust me?" he asks. I shake my head yes, "Honestly not really." I say laughing nervously. "If the Decker's let me take Jaxson on it I promise I will be extra careful with you." He says. It's the intensity of his stare that convinces me. He hands me a helmet and he picks up his and puts it on. He gets on the bike and tells me to swing my leg over and hold onto him. I do as he says and I didn't realize I would be pressed up against him as much as I was. "Wrap your arms around my waist to keep secure." He tells me. I do as he says I wrap my arms around his waist, and hold onto him. I can feel his stomach move as he breathes. He starts the bike and it roars underneath us. I have to get used to the vibration it is giving off. He starts to accelerate and I tighten my grip around him, I feel him chuckle and I roll my eyes. The ride is smooth, Tyler makes sure to take turns slowly. I enjoy the heat that I am feeling coming off his body, and I relax more into him. Before I know it we are at Steak and Shake. He parks the bike and takes his helmet off, I take mine off and he grabs it and locks it into place. "How was it?" "I liked it a lot actually." I tell him. "When did you stop being scared?" "About the time we got here so I really didn't get to enjoy it all." "Well we still have the ride to your house." He says smiling. He gets off the bike, and I hop off as well. I am pulling down my shirt since it rode up a little bit and I notice I am sporting a hard on. I instantly go red in the face, and turn towards the bike trying not to freak out. He walks up behind me, "you okay Ryder?" I just nod my head, "I need a minute." I tell him and my voice cracks and I want to just die right there. I hear him laugh, "You have a woody don't you" "Ugh!" I groan out, and put my hand over my face. "Dude it's fine, it happens a lot to Jaxson it's the vibration of the bike man, I am so used to it, that it rarely happens to me anymore but it used to a lot." "So it's common?" "For some people yes, it happens to Jaxson a lot like I said. It's all good man." It finally went down, and we went inside. It took them a few minutes to seat us "I'll have a water please." I ask the waiter. "Coke for me." Tyler says. We watch the waiter walk away and I start to fidget, "why are you so nervous all of a sudden?" I shrug my shoulders, "Cause I am, you're the only person I know who doesn't know me as the football guy." "Well I mean I think I am starting to know you well considering I felt something poking me in the back." He says and smiles. I go red in the face, and put my head on the table and groan. "I'm sorry." He laughs, and it's contagious and I can't help but laugh too. "Dude stop its fine I told you it happens. Own it man, shit Jaxson does he's like damn now I can't take care of it!" "I would never be that sexual ever!" I say. I go to say something but I can't I just go red in the face, "Oh so you do? You just want to fake innocent huh?" "Shut up!" I tell him and throw my straw wrapper at him. "There's that smile I like." He says. "Oh my god!" I hear from behind me. "Oh no." I say looking at Tyler. "Who is that?" He asks. "It's Renee.....she has like this weird obsession with me." I tell him. "Ryder! What are you doing here?" She says walking up to our booth with a friend in tow. "Going to eat with a friend." I say avoiding eye contact. "Can me and my best friend Katy sit with you!" she says already setting her phone down on the table. "Hey don't I know you?" Katy says as Tyler moves over. He looks at her, "No I don't think you do." "You kind of look like this kid that used to go to my school a few years ago, he had some real issues." She says. "I mean everyone has issues, but I guess I just have that face." He says. I move over so Renee can sit next to me. "Ryder you did such an amazing job tonight!" "The team did amazing." I correct her. "You are just so sweet sharing the credit with the team." She says and puts her hand on my thigh. "Yeah you did well, but that one receiver was super quick." Tyler says. "Jeremy!" I say smiling. "I guess, I didn't catch a name." "So who are you?" Renee asks Tyler. I look over at Tyler to see how he's going to respond. "Oh sorry I'm Tyler. I met Ryder while at community service. My school requires we get so many hours done before we graduate and well Ryder here just wanted to get hours in tutoring just to have on his resume. Did you know he is really smart, like 4.0 gpa level smart?" he says. "I had no idea that you do volunteer hours Ryder?" Renee says looking at me. "Yeah, I like to give back." I say. "You are just the best." She says rubbing my leg. "I figured you would be at the party." I say. "I was going to but Katy wanted to hang out she just broke up with her boyfriend. Friends come first." "I don't think I know you?" I say to Katy. "It's because I don't go to your school. I go to a private catholic school." "That must be tons of fun." Tyler jumps in. "It gets boring really." She says. I smile because I know Tyler is being sarcastic and not really wanting to talk about it at all. "So like we should head to my house, my rents are gone and I have a pool!" Renee says. "I don't know I don't have a swimsuit or anything." I tell her. "Yeah that makes two of us." Tyler chips in. "Silly boys just swim in your boxers!" Renee says as if it's the most common thing in the world. Before we can answer the waiter comes back to the table to take the ladies orders, they just order a shake. "So what do you say boys?" Katy asks. "I can't tonight." I say. "Awe come on Ryder!" Renee says as she grips my thigh. "You always bail on me!" "We can't ladies sorry, I have to get Ryder back to his house in about an hour anyway." Tyler says. "Why do you have a curfew on a Friday?" Renee asks. "Because I am fifteen and that's what my dad wants." I tell her. She giggles, "I forget your fifteen cause you look and act so much older." She says rubbing my thigh more. I start to get antsy, I don't like what she's doing at all. "Hey Tyler I hate to cut this short, but I'm not feeling so good. You mind taking me home?" "You okay man?" "I just have a headache and kinda nauseous maybe from the hit I got earlier." "Awe babe you okay?" Renee says putting her hand on my cheek. "I just need some sleep." I tell her. "Okay babe, go get some rest, me and Katy will cancel your order for you. But call me tomorrow I want to hang out!" The girls move and I get out of the booth, and walk with Tyler outside. "What happened in there?" "She kept taking feels and I just didn't feel comfortable with it, and my anxiety was rising about the situation. I feel like a freak any boy would be so happy that someone was making moves on them!" "Dude stop! Look you're not every other guy! I would probably be the same way, that's just a natural reaction to get antsy to get out of a situation that you are not comfortable in. You over think this stuff man you think there is some major flaw in you, but there isn't. From what I know you were raised with morals and rules, and you know how to be a decent teenager and not some douche bag who is an asshole like every other guy our age. I don't think you being uncomfortable had anything to do with your anxiety. Your anxiety is triggered when you are pressured about your past and you feel there is no way to escape out of the situation." "How do you know all this stuff? You only met me on Sunday!" "Can we talk about this somewhere else?" He asks. "No!" I say firmly. He sighs, and runs his hands through his hair. I saw you the first time you went to see Dr. Decker. I see her partner across the hall, and I was captivated by you, your lean body, cute nose, and beautiful eyes and the way your hair looks like its unkempt but it isn't. I read your file....not recently but the first few times, and when I found out you had a boyfriend I stopped. I just wanted to get to know you....have you ever seen someone who is so beautiful? Like it felt like I was in school and you were the popular guy and I couldn't approach you because we weren't in the same social class and yeah..." I just look at him, and I see it, the vulnerability. I don't think he meant anything out of malice or hate but was actually genuinely wanting to get to know me. "You know you could have talked to me?" "We couldn't have been friends since I live with the Decker's and I would have had no idea what to say to you." "So why now?" "Well you are single, and you came to the hangout, and Dr. Decker is "Retiring."" He says. "I just got out of a good relationship, we just both had too much going on that we couldn't support each other or be there besides physical contact and that's it." I tell him. "I know, I'm not like throwing myself out there I just want to know you more." "How about we hang out tomorrow, you can meet my parents and then you take me back to your house to officially meet the Decker's and all?" "I would love that." He says. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hey everyone thank you again for reading this chapter! Thank you again to my editor who did a whole lot of editing on this! I would love to hear everyone's opinion on this chapter! I will be starting vacation next Monday so I will be able to answer all the emails in a timely manner I do apologize if I don't normally respond right away I would 50 hours a week and go to school so moments to myself are fleeting! I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter KD