Date: Fri, 15 Jul 2005 19:31:56 +0100
From: pervyladuk@yahoo.com
Subject: Paul and Nick and me - parts 1 and 2

This is how it happened.  This story is true - no
artistic license has been used - and it hasn't been
embellished.  It's just the story of Paul and Nick and
me.

This story will - eventually cover some very explicit
sexual themes - I'm not going to say what they are at
this point - I don't want to give the story away.
Suffice to say that if you are offended by sex of an
explicit nature - please don't read on.

This story also contains descriptions of under age sex.
Sue me.  This is the story of my life - if you don't like
that I was sexually active underage - don't read on.

Beginning

I was 14 - I knew I was gay.  I'd known it for a couple
of years - ever since puberty had started to change my
body.  But.I was 14 and scared of being different from
the other boys in my school.  I'd never told anybody -
and hiding 'the big secret' was beginning to tear me up
inside.

I guess I knew I was going to tell Jason that I was gay
from the moment we left school that day.  We always
walked home as far as my house together.  Me loping along
in my gangly six-foot gait, him pushing his bike along
beside me.  I'd fancied Jason as long as I could remember
really; before I'd even realised that I was gay.  What
wasn't there to like.  He was short, muscled and cute.
Jason was a gymnast, a real athlete, clever and funny
with it.  Jason was the subject of just about every wank
fantasy I had.

So I guess I thought that telling him might open a door.
In my head, as I rehearsed how it was going to happen, us
walking through the woods together, me telling him and
him turning to me and saying that he had those feelings
too.  So imagine it came as a bit of a shock to me - when
the words "I'm gay" finally came out of my mouth, when he
said nothing for about 30 seconds - got on his bike and
rode off as fast as he could.

When I got to the gate he was waiting for me.  His face
was serious but he gave me a little smile and said "It's
OK by me".  We talked for ages.  My illusions were
shattered - he said he had no thoughts about boys - in
fact quite the opposite.  But the good news was that I'd
kept a friend - shared the secret and all in all I felt
great about the whole situation.  We left each other -
near my house as usual - as he got on his bike to finish
his journey home.  As he made to leave - he promised that
he wouldn't tell anyone my 'big secret'.  I went home
happy - and wanked furiously four or five times before I
went to bed.

The next day it seemed the entire school knew my secret.
Jason had told them

I learned a valuable lesson about trust that day.  Jason
plays no further part in the story of how it happened - I
guess that's pretty much how it was.  I didn't fight with
him, shout at him or bad mouth him - I just let him drift
from my life.  If I met him today - I'd give him the
biggest hug.  He made me what I am today.

Paul

The days after the secret came out, I hated going to
school.  I kept myself to myself - avoided other people
at break and lunchtimes - avoided physical education
lessons and pretty much tried to ignore the fact that
people were talking about me behind my back - and more
often than not within my earshot.

The evenings were the worst to be honest.  I'd go home,
Mum and Dad could sense something was wrong with me - and
over compensated.  I just wanted to be left alone - but
they didn't seem to be able to get the message.  So I'd
shut myself in my room, play music (loud) and cry - a
lot.
One evening I guess it was about four days after I'd told
Jason, Mum called up and told me that there was someone
at the door for me.  This was surprising in itself.  I
guess I was a pretty solitary child - not a complete
loner - but happy with my own company, and equally happy
to choose my friends carefully.  I guess I'd figured that
it would be Jason at the door - come to apologise.

When I got to the bottom of the stairs it wasn't Jason
that was waiting for me, but Paul.  Paul I knew vaguely
from school.  He wasn't in any of the same classes as me,
but was someone I guess on the periphery of the people I
usually chose to hang round with at break and lunch
times.

Paul was the same age as me - shorter - but then most
people were.  He had brown hair and green eyes, a
naturally dark skin which was unusual in rural England
and made him seem kind of exotic somehow.  Paul was a
real 'boys boy' - had the best taste in clothes, the
latest music and computer games - went on foreign
holidays - he seemed to live the life I'd always wanted.
And he was at my door - for the first time.

"Hey" was the simple introduction.  A thousand questions
must have gone through my mind; why was he here? How did
he know where I lived? Had he heard about me being gay?
Was this a set up? The list went on..

So gathering myself I said "hey" back.

"Do you wanna come out"

I hadn't learned this particular double entendre - so his
question seemed (and was) perfectly innocent.

"Yeah I guess so" I replied.  "Anyone with you?" I asked,
still cautious that I was being set up.

"Nah - just me.  I just wanted too..come say hi that's
all".

The whole situation seemed strange to me.  Paul and I had
hardly said two words to each other during the three
years that we'd been in the same school.  Now he was on
my doorstep.  My mind was full of questions - but I guess
I'd always been smart beyond my years and I knew that the
only way I'd get the answers was to go with the flow.


It was a late summer evening.  Not too warm - and pretty
much no one around as we walked around.  We weren't
really wandering aimlessly - I could tell that much. We
were heading in the direction of his house - which I knew
was on the other side of the village from me.

I don't remember much of what was said during that
conversation.  I guess we talked about school, music,
cars - mutual interests we had at the time.  The
conversation drifted as we walked along. Until..

"Is it true that you're gay?"

My mind raced.  I had a choice at this point.  No one -
from the time the secret had been let loose had actually
bothered to ask me that question.  This was the point
where I could put the genie back in the box - I could
deny everything - and my 14 year old life would go back
to normal.


"Yeah I guess so" was my reply.  I'd come this far - I
wasn't going to back out now.

Paul said nothing for a while and said "I'm not - I like
girls too much...  But I've kinda wondered about it - you
know what I mean?"

I guess I did know what he meant. "Yeah" I replied.

"What's it like - you know sex with another boy" he asked
- face reddening - as was mine.

"I dunno - I've never done it" was the honest answer from
me.

"But you want to?"

"Yeah"

By this time we were standing on the corner of what I
guessed (correctly) was his road.  Paul looked kind of
uncomfortable - like he wanted to say something but
couldn't quite manage to get it out.  I didn't know what
to say - how to react, so I waited him out.  Eventually
he turned to me and said "Meet me here tomorrow at this
time - the house will be empty."

With that he turned and left.  I was too surprised to
speak - but I was also rock hard.  I left wondering
whether he'd been hard too.