Date: Sun, 1 Jul 2012 02:17:01 -0700 (PDT)
From: Jenny Tian <azulasn@yahoo.com>
Subject: Perfection Chapter 1

Perfection

By Azula


I had a perfect sister, Lisa. She was beautiful, had long, blonde hair, big
blue eyes, good body, she was a very good athlete and always the top of the
class. You might think that she had to have at least one flaw like a bitchy
personality or clumsy hands. She had neither. She was kind, popular,
everyone liked her and she could also paint and play the piano. She was
perfect.

I was born when she was twelve but even though the age difference was so
big we were close. She looked after me when I was just a baby, she dressed
me up in her old clothes when I was four and made pictures, she played
games with me, taught me to ride a bike, to read and write when I was in
kindergarten and went shopping with me. I loved her more than anyone else.

It was in the summer just before I came into first grade. I was six years
old, Lisa was eighteen and just finished high school. She had been accepted
to Harvard and we all knew she'd be a great lawyer in the future.

Lisa and I went to eat ice cream and I told her about something my friends
and I had done. The next thing I know is someone yelled, I heard a metallic
sound and suddenly I was thrown to the ground, my sister covering my whole
body.

I remember her smile, how she whispered to me, told me to be a good boy,
said she loved me and then her eyes got that empty look and I saw blood
dropping down from the back of her head.

I think I cried, I yelled, I felt how her body became limp and then there
were sirens, her body was taken off me and I saw the metal bars that had
fallen down from the construction work on the roof of the house where we
had walked by. One was sticking out from her back, I saw one that was
bloody. It was the one that had hit her head and there were maybe a dozen
or so lying around, one had hit a car but nobody except for my sister was
hurt.

That day was the worst in my whole life. The person I loved most had been
taken from me without any warning. I knew she was gone. Some kids don't
understand death but I did. I had seen it. I saw her eyes, felt her body
and smelt the blood. I knew she was never coming back.

My parents were as devastated as me. They couldn't believe that their
perfect angel was just gone, died while protecting me.

The funeral was a few days later and there were so many people. Everyone
was crying for losing such a wonderful person. I felt like a zombie, I was
numb and didn't know what to do without Lisa. Later people came to our home
and there were so many tears and handkerchiefs, so many comforting words
and hugs.

Nobody hugged me and when I noticed the looks that people gave me I
realized that I was the reason Lisa was dead. She had died protecting
me. It should have been the other way around. I should have died, not
her. She was the perfect one, I was just Sam, her brother.

My parents decided to move, this place held too many memories of Lisa and
they couldn't stand it. My father found a new job in a city far away and
they bought a house that looked very different from the one we lived in.

Every night I thought about how I could bring Lisa back, how I could make
everything better, how to undo the horrible thing I'd done and just before
the move I came to the realization that I had to become her. I had to
become Lisa.

While packing I left all my clothes back and instead took Lisa's clothes
from when she was younger. They were still very good and pretty and they
fit me. My parents didn't notice a thing and then we drove all the way down
to our new home.

We spent the first week unpacking, getting used to the new house and the
first night was the first time I put on girls panties, a beautiful shirt
and tight pants. I looked into the mirror and was happy that I indeed
looked a lot like Lisa when she was younger. I had the same blonde hair,
the same big blue eyes with long lashes and a face that wasn't very boyish.

The only thing was my hair. It was too short and I decided to let it
grow. Maybe not as long as Lisa, just to my shoulders but that should be
good. I smiled the first time since that day and went downstairs since
dinner was finished.

My mother froze when she saw me, my father's jaw dropped. I just sat down
like it was the most natural thing and then they both smiled a little.

The summer was over very soon and the first day of school was there. My
father went with me and when the teacher saw me he looked confused, asked
if I was Samuel Collins.

"I'm Sam." I just said and he frowned.

"I think there was a mistake."

"No. This is Sam, my daughter." My father said.

"But here it says Samuel."

"Just give her whatever she needs. Locker and things like that. And I would
like that no one calls her Samuel." My father looked very serious.

"Okay, sure." The man mumbled and so my first day at school began. It was
the first day of school for everyone and I became friends with some of the
girls.

PE wasn't really a problem then because I hadn't reached puberty yet and I
just turned around when I put on my gym clothes and we didn't have to take
showers.

One teacher tried to send me to a counsellor but I refused and so the first
six years of school passed fast. I was always the top of the class and I
was happy whenever my parents complimented me. I was not too good at
basketball and group sports but I became a great gymnast because I was
flexible and quite strong despite my slim build.

Things were trickier when I turned twelve and my body began to change but
luckily my genes were on my side. My face was still girly enough and I
never really built muscles like some of the guys. Over the years I grew up
to be 5'7" and was still very slim. I did women's gymnastics and so my body
didn't look muscular. I was strong but it didn't really show. My cock grew
but it didn't come close to the average size and I was glad for that. My
voice did drop a little but it was never too low and others said it was a
smoky voice, a little deep for a girl but very sexy. My body was very
smooth and I only grew some pubes and a little under my arms. I waxed my
legs occasionally and also learned to put on make up. My lashes were great
and my eyes really stood out, my skin was good, too and by the time I was
fifteen I was one of the prettiest girls in school.

Another problems were my boobs or lack thereof. My mother finally bought
stuffed bras and when I looked into the mirror there was nothing that
looked manly.

But with my looks came the boys-trouble. I realized soon that I didn't want
to date girls. I wanted to date boys. Sometimes I wondered if I would have
liked girls if that thing with my sister never happened but for some reason
I doubted it.

I had a steady stream of boys asking me out and I went on many, many
dates. But all that ever happened was a kiss and even that I didn't like
too much. I knew I couldn't get too involved with a boy and usually only
went on one or two dates with the same guy and for that reason was known as
a player but not a slut because I told my girlfriends everything that
happened. They always giggled when I told them who was a bad kisser and
stuff like that.

But there was also the fact that I didn't really like to be touched. I was
a distant person and just after Lisa's death I flinched whenever someone
touched me. It got better but I never really got over it.

My friends and I had many sleepovers and I guess it's a miracle that they
never noticed the package between my legs. I usually wore tight jeans,
sometimes skirts and dresses but it didn't really show since it wasn't very
big. But while changing I always had to turn around.

Things began to change again when I became a senior. I always was in the
popular crowd and just like Lisa I was the top of the year. I had many
friends and was happy.

One day Frank asked me out. He was a jock, arrogant but good looking. I
didn't really want to but my friends were all excited about it and said I
should. Most of them had lost their virginity already and we often talked
about it but they also knew that I was trying to wait.

I had heard Lisa talk to her friend on the phone and I knew I shouldn't but
I eavesdropped. I heard how she said she didn't want to sleep with someone
before she really knew he was the one and back then I didn't understand it
but now I did and since I had become Lisa I knew I'd wait. My friends
thought it was cute but they also thought it was a little out of time.

In the end I agreed to go on that date with Frank. It wasn't too bad. He
wasn't the cleverest guy but it was fun. We went to the movies, to dinner
and then took a walk in the park. It was getting dark already and only a
few lights were on.

Frank took my hand and then pressed me against a tree and kissed me. I
didn't like the feeling of being trapped, I hated it, I tried to struggle
but he just continued kissing me.

"Let go." I finally managed to say when I pushed his head away.

"You're really pretty, you know." He said.

"Frank, I don't like this, okay?"

He didn't react and just continued kissing me and then to my horror he
slipped a hand under my shirt. I struggled but he was too strong.

"Let go."

"No. My friends said you were a cock tease." He mumbled.

"Frank, go away. I don't want this. I don't sleep with anyone on the first
date. And we're outside."

"So?"

"I said I don't sleep with..."

"On the second date?"

"No."

"Third?"

"Perhaps."

"So we're going on a third date."

"No. Not with you. Let me go."

"Ah, I knew it. Just a cock tease." Frank said and pressed me even harder
to the tree. I was getting really scared now and yelled for help but Frank
immediately put his hand over my mouth.

"Shut up, stupid bitch."

I tried to kick him, punch him but he was just too strong and when he
slipped his hand in the back of my panties my eyes filled with tears.

But before he reached the place where he expected a vagina he was suddenly
gone. I collapsed on the ground and saw another guy beat the shit out of
Frank.

"You alright?" The guy then asked me after one final punch in Frank's face.

"Yeah. Thank you."

The guy helped me up and it was quite dark but I could see that he was
probably a year or two older than me and he was very handsome.

"No big. I just hate guys like him." He said, his voice very deep and sexy.

"Thanks again."

"You're welcome. Let's get out of here."

I nodded and followed him. He was taller than me, maybe six feet and looked
really strong. Not body builder like but I could imagine that he worked on
a construction site or something like that. Though I really hoped he didn't
because I avoided construction sites like the pest.

"So, who was the guy?" He asked.

"He asked me out. I didn't really want to but my friends said I should."

"Ah, I see. Well, he's an asshole."

"Yeah."

"Where do you live?"

I told him the address and he just nodded and walked to the direction where
I lived.

"What's your name?" He then asked.

"Sam."

"Samantha?" That was what people often asked.

"No, just Sam."

"I see."

"Yours?"

"I'm Ray."

"Thanks again, Ray."

He looked at me and smiled, which made my heart flutter.

"You're welcome."

We were quiet for a while but then I suddenly began to shake as the
realization hit me what had almost happened. Perhaps it wouldn't have when
Frank found out my biggest secret but still.

"Are you alright?" Ray asked with a concerned expression.

"I... I..." I couldn't get a word out and Ray finally just put his arms
around me. I tensed, wanted to push him away but then I felt how hot his
body was, his temperature so much warmer than mine and it felt good, so
good that I just relaxed and held on to him.

I felt better after a few minutes but didn't want to let go. He finally
looked at me. "Feel better?"

"Yes. Thank you again."

He chuckled and I was amazed at how good that felt with his body still
pressed to mine. "Let's go."

I nodded and we walked the remaining ten minutes without saying anything. I
wished the walk was longer but we stood in front of the house quite soon.

"Thanks again." I said.

"Yeah, you don't have to say it so many times." He said with a gentle
smile.

"Could... could I probably have your phone number? I'm sure my parents will
want to thank you too and..."

"Sam, don't fall for me, okay?"

"What?"

"Look..." He said and I felt my heart sink. Sentences that began with
'look' were always bad.

"I'm gay." He said.

"Oh."

"Yeah. You are very pretty but I don't really like boobs, you know?"

"I see. So if I were a guy you'd go out with me?" I asked.

"Sure. You're pretty cute and I love your eyes but don't undergo a sex
change because of me. I like men, not women."

"I won't. But can I have the number?"

"Yes. You have your phone?"

I gave it to him and he saved his number. When he handed it back to me his
finger brushed mine and it almost felt like an electrical jolt to
me. "Thanks. And see you around." I said and he waved. At home my parents
just asked if I had a good time and I nodded. Sometimes I wondered if they
forgot that I was still a boy under all the clothes and that I was gay. If
I had never become Lisa they'd have had a very hard time with me liking
boys but now it was normal for them.

I dreamed of Ray that night. Also of Frank and I woke up once shivering and
sweating. But then I thought of Ray and fell asleep again, dreamed of him
more and in the morning I woke up and found that I had cum in my sleep. I
put on new sheets and hid the dirty ones in the closet, knowing that my
mother would probably freak if she found that proof of my manhood. I think
if she'd found blood she would have just accepted that I had gotten my
period.

For some reason the short time I had spent with Ray changed so much. He
hadn't really said much, had just saved me and walked me home but something
in me changed. I realized how screwed up our family was, how screwed up I
was and wondered what I could do to make things right.

When I had made that decision to become Lisa I was only six but now I was
almost an adult and still living the life of my dead sister. My parents
just expected me to go to Harvard, to become a lawyer and marry a wonderful
man. That's what Lisa would have done if she hadn't died.

I was really troubled and didn't know what to do. When I went to school all
my friends came rushing to me, asked what happened yesterday.

"Nothing." I said but they wanted details and so I gave them the story of
the date, even the kissing in the park but otherwise nothing.

Frank didn't come to school that day and I was glad about that. When he
appeared again he had a bruised face and walked slowly. Everyone was
concerned, asked him what had happened but he just mumbled something about
a mugging. I was quiet but secretly I was pleased with the way he
looked. Frank ignored me after that and I never gave him another look
again.

That night I called Ray and he laughed when he heard about Frank. I wanted
to talk to him much longer but he said he was going out that night. He
mentioned some gay club and I felt jealous even though I knew there was no
reason to be. I was just some 'girl' that he saved and with his looks he
could probably have every gay guy. But I decided to get myself a haircut
and buy some stylish clothes for a guy. Right now my wardrobe only held
women's clothes. Even my underwear. Everything.

The next day was a Saturday and I should have gone to Melissa, one of my
best friends but I told her I couldn't and went to the mall instead. I knew
that there was a chance of walking into one my friends but I just hoped for
the best.

There was a good hair salon and I asked for a haircut that could go for
both girls and boys. Not too long and not too short. The woman smiled and
led me to one of the chairs. She was done after half an hour and I had to
admit it looked very good. Right now with the girl's clothes and the
make-up everyone would think of me as one but if I wore guys' clothes... I
really wondered what I'd look like. I did see myself naked in the mirror
and without make-up. That way I really looked like a guy but it was not the
same.

I then went to a shop where they sold good clothes and the clerk looked at
me with a friendly smile, asked if I was looking for something for my
father or boyfriend.

"For me." I said and he hesitated.

"Miss, we only have men's clothing." He said.

"I know. I want three outfits. Two should be good enough to go out but not
too flashy. One just casual. And some underwear, a jacket and shoes."

"Oh... okay. I'll help you with the outfit..." He hesitated. "...Sir?"

I laughed. "I'm Sam."

"Okay." He still looked a little unsure but helped me choose some good
stuff and I left the shop with a good chunk less on my bank account and
several bags. I felt really good but knew that my parents wouldn't be too
happy about it. So I put the clothes in bags from different shops and then
went home.

At home I hid the new clothes and watched a movie and that was when I
realized that men and women moved differently. I had unconsciously picked
up the mannerism of all my girlfriends since I hung out with them most of
the time. But Ray had said he wanted a man, not a man that acted like a
woman and so I tried walking and moving in front of the mirror, copying the
guys in the movie. I felt a little foolish doing that but the thought of
Ray was enough to motivate me.

I exercised the whole week but still walked 'normally' at school. I was
still the girl, Sam and that wasn't going to change at school. And if I was
going to become a guy I could do that in college where no one knew me.

By Thursday I was really nervous and when Friday came I was practically
shivering with excitement. At home I checked the address of the club and
then I realized that they didn't let anyone inside who was under
eighteen. "Shit." I muttered and wondered what to do. Fake ID? Charm the
guy at the door? Try to sneak inside?

The fake ID seemed like the best idea but how did I get one within just a
few hours? Then I remembered Lisa's ID. We looked pretty much the same. No,
that wouldn't work either. She was twelve years older and would they let
women inside? "Shit." I said again.

Charming the doorman? I wasn't sure how to do that. What if he was
straight?

In the end I decided to go, try it and just be honest. Maybe he'd take pity
on me and let me inside if I promised not to drink anything except for
juice or water.

I left the house with a dress and went to a public toilet. I sneaked into
the men's bathroom and was glad that no one was there. There I put the
tight jeans and the shirt on I'd bought. For underwear I'd chosen the
briefs because the boxers felt so free and I was not used to that. I was
pleased with the way I looked. Very, very different from usual with no
make-up and the clothes. It was like a different person.

"Who're you?" I asked the mirror.

"Samuel Collins." It answered and I thought I needed to get to know Samuel
Collins, that stranger who wasn't me. The thought was weird and I wondered
if I had a split personality or something.

I slightly changed the way I walked and put the girls' clothes in a locker
and then drove to the club. I was really nervous, had no idea if I'd even
get inside and wondered if Ray would be there. When I arrived it was nine
o'clock. The club was in an old brick-house and two men stood at the
door. I felt my heart sink when I saw how big and mean one of them looked.

"Hi." The big one said.

"Hi. I'm Samuel."

He chuckled. "Nice to meet you. I'm Marshall, the doorman. Usually people
don't introduce themselves to the doorman." The other man laughed too as he
let two other guys inside.

"Yes. Well, the thing is, I'm seventeen." I said.

"That's also something you shouldn't tell me."

"I know. But I didn't have enough time to get a fake ID."

He laughed. "Alright. You want inside, huh?"

"Yes."

"And why should I let you inside?"

"Err, I'm kind of trying to get someone to notice me."

"Now you have my interest. Whom?"

"Ray."

"Oh." He smiled. "Don't fall for him, kid. He doesn't fall in love."

"Why?"

"He's one of those guys that can sleep with anyone but never more than
once."

"I see." I suddenly felt foolish to even try to get closer to Ray. Why did
I even come here? I wanted to slap myself and just go home.

"But if that's what you want you can go inside." The doorman said.

"I..." I hesitated. I didn't want to just be number 174 or so out of the
hundreds of people Ray slept with. But maybe, maybe it would be worth it? I
knew that if I did sleep with him I'd get hurt. I knew the doorman didn't
lie and I wasn't disillusioned to think that maybe I'd be the one that
finally made Ray settle down. But one night with him? "I don't know." I
finally said.

"You're a good kid. I'll let you inside. Maybe you'll meet someone who's
not like Ray. Hell, if I were a few years younger I'd ask you out
myself. You're really cute."

I smiled at the man who looked so mean but was really nice. "Thank you." I
paid for the entry and he made me promise not to drink anything
alcoholic. I did and then walked inside. The music was loud but good, there
were flashing, colourful lights, a bar, people on the dance floor, people
talking and drinking in the few seats that were in one of the corners... it
was pretty much like the clubs I'd gone until now just that the people were
a little older and that there were guys dancing with guys. It was something
I'd never seen and I was fascinated by it, I wanted that and I wished I had
a boyfriend.

"Hi." I flinched when someone put his arm around my shoulder. A big man
looked at me with leering eyes.

"Err, I'm going to the bar." I said and tried to get away from him.

"I'll buy you a drink." He said, his hand somehow touched my ass.

"No thanks." I said with a firmer voice and sat on one of the bar stools.

"Hi." A young, friendly looking guy said. "What would you like to drink?"

"Just some juice, please."

"Apple, orange, cranberry or something else?"

"Err..."

"I can mix you something good without any alcohol."

"Yeah, that would be nice." I said.

"Good." He smiled at me and I watched as he mixed several juices and put
some ice in it. "That's for you."

"Thanks. How much is this?"

"First drink for cute guys is free." He said, winked and went to make
another drink for some other guy.

I took a sip and a "wow" escaped my lips. It was wonderful and the
bartender who'd heard smiled at me. I then turned around to watch the
crowd. I could see that there were different kinds of people in this
club. There were the cute, smooth guys like me, wearing tight shirts, tight
jeans. Then there were the more built guys. Some were trying to pick up the
twinks and others trying to pick up equally built or even more built
guys. There were couples that looked like they were totally in love and
there were the social butterflies that came inside and were greeted by
everyone.

Just then I heard a few guys cheer and yell at someone. I turned to the
door and my heart almost stopped. Ray came walking inside, laughing his
amazing smile, at his side two other guys who were almost equally
stunning. I watched how Ray greeted almost everyone, joked with the guys
and then came to the bar. I wasn't sure if I should try to hide myself and
in the end I was just staring at him while he came to order drinks.

"Hi Tyler." He said and the bartender greeted him. "The usual?" He asked.

"Sure." Ray said and then looked at me. "Hi."

"Hi. I'm Samuel."

"Nice to meet you. First time here?"

"That's right."

"Well, take care of yourself or you might get kidnapped by someone. You're
cute."

"You mean like you." Tyler, the bartender said and Ray grinned.

"Yeah. I wouldn't mind taking someone like Samuel..." He suddenly frowned
and looked at me. "Do I know you?"

"Err..."

"That's not a pickup-line. I just feel like we met before..." He looked at
my face intensely. I quickly took a sip from my drink and tried to stop my
racing heart.

"Geez. I can't remember. You want to join me and my friends?" He finally
asked.

"Sure."

"As he said..." Tyler said before I got up. "Take care of guys like Ray."

I nodded and thanked him again for the drink. Ray introduced me to his
friends but somehow new guys kept coming and going there was no way I could
remember all their names. They all seemed very friendly and easy-going.

Several guys commented on my looks or hinted at Ray and me spending the
coming night together.

"Don't go out alone at night." Another guy said. "Or you might just be
raped by horny guys."

"Oh, fuck me!" Ray said loudly. "You're Sam!"

"No shit." His friends said and laughed.

"No. I mean... oh my gosh. We really met before! Sam!"

"Yeah." I just said while his friends looked confused.

"You're right." Ray said to his friend. "This guy has to be careful at
night. I saved him a couple of weeks ago from some stupid rapist."

"Oh wow. I bet you beat the shit out of him." His friend said.

"Yeah. But Sam... are you some kind of tranny?" Ray asked me and everyone
stared at me.

"Tranny?" Someone asked.

"Yeah. The Sam I saved was a girl. Very pretty girl I have to say."

"Oh. Well, everyone has his own hobbies."

"It's not exactly a hobby. There are reasons for it." I said.

"It's alright. No need to tell us." Ray said with a big grin. "But I have
to tell you guys..." He made a dramatic pause. "Sam looks gorgeous with
mascara and eyeliner. His eyes... whew, they're the killer."

"Yeah, I can imagine." One of them said.

The hours went by incredibly fast and I really liked Ray's friends. One of
the guys asked me to dance and I agreed since I really liked dancing. But I
only knew how to dance like a girl, to move my hips sexily and I knew I was
pretty good at it. But it wasn't how men danced.

"I don't know if..." I said to the guy, Marcus.

"You can't dance?" He asked with a friendly smile.

"I can. Just not like a guy." I think I blushed.

"That's okay. I want to see how you dance."

"Okay." I nodded and let the beat of the music flow through my body and
then looked at Marcus. I smiled and let go, let go of the control of my
body, just let it go with the music, the rhythm and the beat. After two
songs I felt a tap on my shoulder and another of Ray's friends wanted to
dance with me. I gave Marcus a kiss on his cheek and turned to the other
guy.

"You're amazing." He said.

"Thanks." I replied and moved, danced like there was no tomorrow. After two
songs I felt another tap on my shoulder and smiled when I saw another one
of Ray's friends. I didn't count how many guys I danced with but I had the
greatest time in my life. I absolutely loved it. The guys were all
friendly, not too touchy and I really appreciated that.

After maybe an hour, maybe two, I felt another tap and my heart fluttered
when I saw it was Ray. I gave the guy I'd danced with a kiss and turned to
Ray. And just then the music became more sensual, not a real slow dance but
less fast than before. My dance changed with the music and Ray leaned a
little closer. His wonderful smell filled my nose and I once again felt his
amazingly warm body. For some reason the heat of his body made me feel good
and wasn't like others who made me flinch.

"You want to come to my house?" He asked with a low, sexy voice. "I live
alone."

"I don't sleep with anyone on the first date." I said, repeating the words
I had told Frank. "If you want someone to share a bed with tonight you
better go look for someone else."

"Too bad." He said with a smile. "So, this wasn't a date, right?"

"Yeah."

"You want to go on one?"

"I... guess."

"Sweet. But the offer to come over to my house is always open."

"Thanks."

We didn't talk after that and Ray didn't go to look for someone to share
his bed with. For some reason that made me insanely happy. After the
sensual dance came a real slow dance and my heart began to race when Ray
slowly put his hands around my back. His big, warm hands felt amazing on
the small of my back and I put my arms around his neck. We moved slowly, me
looking up in his eyes, he looked down into my eyes and I felt myself
getting lost, I wanted, almost craved to go home with him. My body screamed
at me, told me to agree but I didn't. I just enjoyed the wonderful dance
and one more until it was getting late and I knew it was time for me to go
home.

"I'll bring you home." Ray said and his friends all looked at each
other. Ray laughed at them. "I said I'd bring him home. Not take him to my
home."

"Yeah, whatever." One of them grumbled but his eyes twinkled.

We left the club together and the doorman, Marshall looked at me with a
smile. "You had a good time?" He asked.

"Yes. Wonderful. Thank you so much."

"You're welcome. I heard you're quite the dancer."

"Err..."

He laughed. "We could make a lot of money together. I'll make everyone pay
money who wants to dance with you. You could be rich."

"Hey." Ray protested with a smile. "If anyone gets to be his pimp it should
be me."

"No. You'd just take him yourself."

"Geez."

They both laughed and I blushed. "Well, have a good night." Marshall said.

"Not together, sadly." Ray said.

"Oh? Well, that's... new."

"Yeah." Ray shrugged. "Got to bring him home safely. Have a good night
yourself."

"Sure. Bye. See you around, Samuel."

"You too. Bye." I said. I really liked the guy.

"How old are you?" Ray asked me.

"Seventeen."

"And he let you inside?"

"Yeah."

"What did you tell him?"

"Err... that I didn't have the time to get a fake ID."

Ray chuckled. "Okay. I'm nineteen, by the way. You're still in high school,
right?"

"Yeah."

"Senior?"

"Yeah."

"Cool."

"You?"

"I'm working right now, saving money for college."

"Construction work?" I asked.

"No. Mechanic."

"Good." I sighed of relief.

"What? You don't like construction workers?"

"Not really. I'll tell you another time."

"Okay." He nodded but then looked at me with those intense eyes. "Tell me
that no construction worker tried to rape you."

"No." I smiled. "Nothing like that."

"Good. Hey, where are you going?"

"I need to go the train station and change into my girls clothes." I
explained.

"Why? Oh shit, your parents want you to be a girl?"

"Err, it's part of the same story that I'm telling you another time."

"Okay." He sighed but then grinned. "So, I've been wondering, how many
dates does it take to make you put out?"

I didn't like that question. It really reminded me of how I was just
another guy in the line of guys that Ray fucked. And it also sounded like
what Frank had asked me. "Three, maybe more." I just said.

"I see."

"Frank... the guy you beat to a pulp... he said I was a cock tease."

"Are you?"

"I'm not sure. I mean I usually just go on one or two dates with a guy. And
they have no idea that I'm not a girl."

"Oh shit. You're a virgin." Ray looked at me with wide eyes.

"Err..."

"It's okay. Nothing against virgins."

"Yeah."

We walked to the locker where I had my clothes and then went to the
bathroom. I went inside, changed the clothes and put on just a little bit
of mascara and eyeliner.

"Whoa." Ray said when I walked outside. "It's like two different people."

"Yeah."

"But you really look good as a girl even though I like the guy version
better."

I smiled and he walked me the rest of the way home.

"So, you want to do something together? Next week?" He then asked me.

"Sure."

"Cool." He smiled. "I'll call you."

"Bye." I said.

"Don't I get a kiss like all the others?" He asked with a mock pout.

"Sorry." I smiled at him. And then I moved closer to kiss his cheek but he
turned his face and my lips touched his. I was too surprised to do anything
but he just softly caressed my neck with his hand and then pulled
back. "Good night." He said.

"Good night." I managed to say but it was more a whisper. He smiled at me
one last time and I went inside. My parents were already in bed and I was
glad that they gave me a lot of freedom, like they'd given Lisa.

That night in bed I couldn't fall asleep. I just lay there, thought back to
the amazing night I'd had. That had been me. Samuel, a guy in a gay
club. No one had treated me like a woman. Everyone had been friendly, nice
and kind. And I couldn't remember the last time I'd had so much fun.

But Ray was everywhere in my head. Ray, the guy who never slept with anyone
more than once.

I knew I had exactly two options. The first one was to be friends with Ray,
get to know him, hang out with him, go to the club and maybe look for
another guy and never sleep with him. I knew that would be really, really
hard to do and I'd be the stupid cock tease that Frank had said I was.

The second option was to go on a few dates with Ray, as few as possible,
sleep with him and then get the hell away from him. Because I just knew
that once I slept with him I could never go back to being friends with
him. It would hurt too much. I would have to smile, to laugh and talk and
joke while thinking that I could never have him again.

I had no idea what to do. We were going on a date next week and I probably
wouldn't stand a chance against his charms. He was just too amazing, too
handsome, too sexy, too much fun, too kind and nice, too tempting. So it
would probably be the second. Ending up in Ray's bed and then never see him
again.

^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v

"Where have you been this weekend?" Melissa asked me. "I called you but
your parents said you were out."

"Yeah. I went to a club..." I said and she grinned.

"And?" She asked.

"I met someone."

"Oh, is he good looking?"

"Absolutely gorgeous."

She squealed and grinned back at me. "Tell me more." And so I told her
almost all the details, leaving out of course the fact that Ray was gay but
she looked satisfied with the way I described his looks. "Tall." I
said. Being tall was always important. "Like six feet. Muscles but not body
builder like."

"Hmm, sounds good. Go on." She said.

"I really like his arms. They're so strong. And his body is hot. I mean,
not just hot. He is damn hot. But also his temperature. Hot, hot, hot."

"Ooooh, that's good." She wiggled her eyebrows.

"Yes. Then, short, dark hair, green eyes. Like really amazing."

"Wow."

"Yeah. And his lips are soft..." So amazing, I thought. Even though the
kiss had surprised me it had given me plenty to dream about.

"So you kissed. What else?" She asked me.

"We danced." I said.

"Oh, that's good. Slow dance?"

"Yeah."

"Great. What else?"

"We're going on a date next week."

She squealed again. "Wonderful!"

"Yeah."

"Hey, Sam, you don't look too happy." She said and lifted my face with her
finger under my chin.

"He's..."

"What?" She asked.

"He's a player. Like really, really."

"So?"

"He never sleeps with the same person twice."

"Oh geez." She rubbed her forehead with her hand. "Leave it to the virgin
to fall for someone like that."

"Yeah."

"You totally fell, right?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, Sammy." She said and hugged me. Melissa was a very touchy feely person
and at first that had bothered me but I sort of got used to her touch. I
still didn't like others to touch me but she was alright.

"Maybe he'll fall for you, too?" She said. "You're the prettiest girl
around here."

"I don't know..."

"Just don't lose your spirit. And maybe we can exercise a little."

"What do you mean?"

Melissa just grinned. "Come over to my house tonight. I'll invite all the
girls and then we'll party."

"Okay." I said, wondering what the hell she meant by exercising but I
always loved our 'girl-parties'.

The day went by really fast and around noon I received an SMS from Ray,
asking if tomorrow was good. Mariah noticed it and soon all the girls knew
about Ray. They all said I had to take a picture of him and I agreed to
take one. After school I called my parents to tell them I'd stay the night
at Melissa's and they just told me to have fun.

Melissa was my closest friend but we had our circle of good-looking,
popular girls and were eight girls so having one of our parties was always
a lot of fun. There were also our heartbreak-parties where we watched sad
movies and ate chocolate and ice cream when one of the girls got dumped by
her boyfriend but usually it was the other way around and most of our
parties were full of laughing.

"So..." Melissa said when we were all in her big room on her bed or
couch. "Our virgin-Sammy is finally going to be an adult."

The others cheered and I blushed.

"And we, her more experienced friends need to teach her some tricks. I have
prepared some toys where Sam can exercise." She pulled a dildo out from
under her cushion.

"Err, this wasn't in your... you know?" I asked and they all laughed.

"No. This is new and for you." Mariah said.

"Wow. Thank you." I took the dildo and looked at it. It looked very real
and was about average sized, meaning bigger than mine. It felt quite good
and I felt myself getting hard. Luckily I wore very tight panties.

"So, we all have our own and to make it a little more fun we have this!"
Kelly put several bottles on the bed. They were toppings for ice
cream. Caramel, chocolate and strawberry.

"Let the fun begin." Melissa said and nodded at Leila. Leila grinned,
grabbed the chocolate topping and slowly put it on her dildo. And then she
began to lick at it, licked the chocolate away, took the head in her mouth
and slowly bobbed up and down on it. Melissa moderated the whole time and
some of her comments were really funny and we all had to laugh while Leila
tried her best to stay serious and concentrated.

Kelly was next and so all the girls showed me their tricks, with Melissa
and Kelly as moderators. I noticed that neither one of them deep throated
their dildos, they all just took a mouthful, used their tongue a lot and
massaged the rest with their hands.

I had read enough on the net to know that it was possible to take all of it
and was determined to do that. If I ended up sleeping with Ray, which I was
pretty sure of, I wanted to be the best.

"Okay, it's your turn now." Melissa said. I took two bottles, chocolate and
strawberry and began to decorate the dildo with the two toppings.

"Oooh, that's nice." Melissa said and giggled. "Sometimes I wish I had
one."

"Yeah. Dicks are much easier to please than vaginas." Jess agreed and they
continued to compare the two while I thought that the ass would probably be
pretty good, too.

I took a tentative lick at the dick and the chocolate-strawberry mix tasted
wonderful. I thought of Ray, imagined this dildo being his dick and licked
more, tried all the tricks the girls had showed me, licking the underside,
tickling the head, I took the head in my mouth and closed my eyes. I almost
saw Ray standing there, his hands on my head, just going through my hair -
the girls liked the new haircut - and sucked more into my mouth. I bobbed
up and down on the dildo, got more and more into my mouth, thought of the
annoying gag reflex, drew back just as I felt it and then tried again and I
opened my mouth even more and suddenly I had the whole thing in my mouth
and my throat. I stayed like this a few seconds and then pulled back, tried
it again and really enjoyed it, still thinking of Ray when I suddenly
heard: "Oh shit."

With the head of the dildo still in my mouth I opened my eyes and noticed
the girls looking at me. I blushed and put the dildo down. They were all
staring at me with big eyes.

"You're a natural." Mariah said.

"Yeah. How did you do that?" Katie asked.

"Err... I was just thinking of Ray..." I mumbled.

"Girl, you got it bad." Melissa said. "But you're amazing. I bet he'll get
addicted to your mouth." She grinned and the others laughed. I smiled but
thought that Ray surely had had many people deep throat him.

The rest of the night we talked, giggled, exchanged the weekly gossip and
only went to sleep after midnight. We all skipped the first hour and
instead were all in Melissa's room, getting ready for the day meaning a
shower, new clothes and make-up.

I listened to the teachers at school since I couldn't ever slack off but I
occasionally exchanged notes with Melissa and I was really looking forward
to my date with Ray. I went home after school and took off most of my make
up. The rest would have to go in the men's bathroom at the train station.

I went there early, put on the casual set of clothes I'd bought and made a
mental note to go to a Laundromat sometime to get my men's clothes washed.

Ray and I met a little later and he greeted me with a big smile. "You up
for some action?" He asked.

"Sure."

"Cool." We went to a go-kart place and I thought that this was new. I'd
gone on many dates, usually the guys took me to dinner, to the movies, to
the lake... stuff like that. But no one had taken me here. Ray paid and
even though I was used to guys paying at a date I wanted this to be
different. On this date I wasn't a girl, we were both guys and even though
he was the one with more experience, the taller and stronger one, I wanted
it to be equal.

The first round he totally beat me. But I soon got the hang of it and it
was very close the second time. The third time I gave it my everything and
finally beat him. After a look at the clock I realized that we'd been there
for an hour but if felt more like twenty minutes or so. Time always passed
too fast when having fun.

We went to get ice cream afterwards and I blushed a little, thinking back
to the exercising at Melissa's.

"I was wondering..." Ray began and I knew that now there would be
questions. "Are you a girl at school?"

"Yes."

"And no one knows?"

"Yes."

"Wow. That's... weird. So you have many girlfriends and you're like talking
about guys?"

"Yes. I always was better at being friends with girls. Probably because
there wasn't the danger of becoming attracted to them."

"Yeah, I can understand that. But girls can be really annoying. I don't
have many female friends. They always end up coming on to me."

I laughed. "I can understand that. You're really handsome."

"Says the guy who charmed the whole club."

"I did?"

"Sure did. I'm sure that everyone of them wanted to take you home that
night and there were some broken hearts."

"No way."

"Yes. I heard some other twinks talk. Oh, never mind. You're getting ready
to go to college, right?"

"Yes."

"You're not very talkative today."

"Sorry. I'm just... nervous I guess. I've never been on a date as a guy and
it's different. Good different. Err, college... I'm applying for Harvard."

"Oh shit. You also have the brains. Tell me you're not the top of the
year."

"Can't."

"Oh shit. You're like... perfect? How's that possible? You can dance,
you're incredibly cute, you're charming, you're smart. Are you good at
sports?"

"I'm a gymnast."

"Geez. Hey, how can you hide your stuff when you're in one of those small,
tight thingies?"

I grinned. "Well..."

"Oh, I see. It's really, really small, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Too bad."

"Uh huh. No, I can't brag with it but honestly I'm glad about it or I could
have never hidden the fact that I wasn't a girl. And we're allowed to wear
very short pants over those tight thingies." He chuckled. "And they're not
too tight and I'm err..." I blushed as I thought of the panties I usually
wore. "Let's talk about college."

Ray laughed. "Yeah, good idea. So, you're going to study law or something
else?"

"Law."

"You like that court stuff?"

"I..." I frowned. "I'm not sure."

"You mean you're going to study something you don't like?"

"Yes. I have to... I mean..." I suddenly felt uncomfortable. My family
really was screwed up, I thought. "I decided to study law when I was six."
I finally said. "So you're saving for college. When do you start and what
do you want to study?"

"I'm trying to apply for the coming summer, I still have almost a year's
time and I want to major in engineering."

"Wow. That's amazing."

"Well, it's what I like and what I'm best at. The last year has given me a
lot of knowledge even though it was hard."

"Why?"

"My parents, they didn't like the fact that I was gay."

"They disowned you?"

"Sort of. They let me stay until I was eighteen and then said goodbye."

"That's sad."

"Yeah. It happens way too often. But I still don't get your family. Your
parents want you to be a girl? I mean, that's not really normal and I just
don't get it."

I nodded, knowing that I couldn't avoid the question any longer. "You're
right. Our family is screwed up and the crazy thing is I never really
thought about it. I just took it as it was but then I met you and for some
reason I started thinking about my parents. And Lisa."

"Who's Lisa?"

"My sister... me, kind of." I told him how perfect she had been, how she'd
died protecting me and how I'd come to the realization I had to become her.

"That's... really weird." Ray finally said.

"I guess. But I've been thinking about it and you know my parents are happy
that I'm dating guys. I mean they know I'm still Samuel but they don't
think of me as a guy. If I grew up as a boy they'd probably kick me out if
they found out I was dating guys."

"That's..." Ray shook his head.

"And there's another thing I remembered lately. When Lisa died, she told me
to be a good boy. I wasn't. I was a good girl." For some reason tears
filled my eyes but I managed to stop them.

Ray put his hand on my shoulder and I looked at him. "I'm sorry. It's
just... I never told anyone."

"It's okay."

"Thanks for listening. I think I really needed that."

"Yes. I'll always be there if you need someone to talk to."

"Thanks."

"I wonder how many times you thanked me in the time we've known each
other."

I laughed and went back to eating ice cream. Most of it was molten in the
cup but it was still good.

"You know, girls can be really dirty." I said.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, guys always think they're the dirty ones when talking about women
and stuff like that. But girls can be worse. I know all the details of my
friends' sex-lives and... that thought just popped up. Sorry, I'm talking
nonsense."

Ray laughed. "I like you talking nonsense. But you're blushing. You haven't
told me everything."

I looked at him with a startled expression. "Err..."

Ray's eyes twinkled. "Tell me."

"Nope."

"Please."

"Nope."

"I'll tell you something, too."

"Hmm, okay. Geez, this is embarrassing."

"You can ask me anything afterwards and I promise I'll be honest."

"Okay. Well, yesterday... I told Melissa, my best friend about you and she
said we needed one of our girl-parties. Usually we just talk, watch movies,
do photo shootings and stuff like that. But yesterday was special because
after your SMS I had to tell them everything. So that night we were at
Melissa's and she gave me a dildo."

"Oh."

"Yes. And they had toppings, ice cream toppings. And every one of them put
them on their own dildo and they showed me tricks. It was actually really
funny because two of the girls played moderator. And in the end it was my
turn."

"Oh fuck. What topping?"

"Chocolate and strawberry."

"Oh fuck." Ray said again and looked at me with a funny expression.

"What?" I asked him.

"You... oh shit. You can't just tell me stuff like that. I can't help
imaging you now and it got me all excited."

"Oh."

"Yes, oh."

"Sorry."

"You don't have to be." He said and then he got that mischievous look. "As
long as you show me the tricks you learned sometime."

"Yes. Well, my question now. What did those twinks in the club say?"

Ray chuckled. "Didn't forget that one, huh? It's just that there were those
two guys. They go around, picking up guys and they're sort of
competing. Sometimes it's fun to watch them throw themselves at guys but
that night they were watching you and saying shit like you were some cheap
whore and cock tease."

That word made my stomach turn. I was really getting sick of that word.

"I heard and just wanted to tell them they had no idea when two other guys
you danced with talked to them. They weren't mean, they just told them
clearly that they were just jealous and that you were the sweetest guy
they'd met and definitely not a whore."

I had no idea that I acted like a whore. I looked at Ray, suddenly
unsure. "I'm not. I didn't want to... I was just... just having fun and..."

"Sam, they were just jealous. And the two guys were right. You're the
sweetest person."

"I didn't..."

"Sam."

"Okay. Yes, just jealous." I told myself but I think I said it aloud
because Ray chuckled. I came to really love that sound.

Looking down I saw that all that was left of my ice cream was fluid and I
put the cup down. Ray and I talked some more, nothing important, we had
somehow talked about some serious stuff and after that it was lighter and
we laughed a lot. I liked Ray more and more every minute and was getting
scared of the feeling. We left the place and had dinner at a pizzeria. It
was really good and I remembered that I had to take a picture of him. So I
told him to smile and took out my phone but just as I pressed the button he
made a grimace and it took me ten minutes before I had a good picture of
him.

He then said it was only fair that he had one of me and told me a joke that
me laugh. But when he held his phone up for too long I realized he'd been
filming. I shot him an angry look but he just grinned.

We left the pizzeria much later and like before Ray walked me home after I
had changed.

"So, am I going to see you again?" He asked.

"Yes."

"Next Friday? We can go to the club and you can sleepover at my place. And
then we spend Saturday somewhere nice."

"Okay."

"Sweet." Ray said and kissed me goodbye. I almost didn't want to let him go
and this kiss lasted much longer then the first. It was amazing and after a
while I felt his tongue, touching my lips, asking for entry and I opened my
mouth. I almost became dizzy with the sensation, felt light headed, I don't
remember if my eyes were open or closed, how I managed not to fall... Ray
held me really close to him and I was harder than I'd ever been in my whole
life.

Ray pulled away first. "You need to go inside." He said while catching his
breath.

"Yes. Bye."

"Bye Sam."

^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v

The next day I had to tell my friends every single detail of the date and
they all were sure that I'd soon be cured from virginity on Friday. I
partly dreaded it and partly couldn't wait for it to finally be Friday. Ray
was constantly on my mind and I just didn't know how I'd survive after the
night we spent together.

My dreams become more vivid, more real and I almost felt like I was going
crazy. I was really worried that I'd become possessive and obsessed with
Ray. I didn't want to be pathetic like that. I wanted him to remember me as
a good guy and then continue my life while trying to get over him. It was
really messing with my head that I was already planning the end when it
hadn't even really started yet.

I don't think my parents noticed anything. They were mostly just interested
in my grades and that I did everything Lisa would have done.

Finally Friday was there. Melissa wanted to come over to get me ready but I
refused, saying that I needed to have some time alone because I was so
nervous. She agreed but gave me some new tips of ways to apply eye shadow
and then hugged me and wished me good luck.

At home I told my parents I would be gone for the night and they just said
that they wouldn't be home either until Sunday night. I thought that my
friends and I would probably have the heartbreak-party for me on Saturday
night and sighed when I left the house.

I put on the last outfit I'd bought but just in case I also brought the
casual clothes with me. When I finally saw Ray I couldn't stop myself from
feeling incredibly happy and excited.

"Hi Sam, are you hungry?" He asked.

"Yes."

"Cool." He led me to a restaurant and we had burgers while I told him a
little about the week I'd had and he mentioned a guy who had totally
screwed up at work and he had to get everything straightened.

"I had to work until ten pm for three days!" He complained and I
grinned. Not because I thought it was funny but because he looked so cute
with his pout.

After dinner we walked to the club since our tummies were really full and
it was still early. It was beautiful, I watched the reddening leaves, how
the wind made them dance and then I noticed Ray staring at me. I suddenly
felt conscious and didn't know what to do with my hands.

"What?" I finally asked.

"You're really beautiful." He mumbled.

I blushed.

"I like your hair... with the wind..." He brushed a few strands out of my
face and caressed my cheek. "And your eyes... Your lips..." His stare was
intense, his words made me shiver and if we weren't outside I'd probably
just let go, let him have his way with me...

Ray pulled his gaze away and I smiled. We walked the rest of the way
quietly but I felt very comfortable with the silence. It was peaceful and
really nice. I had no idea what he was thinking but I was quivering inside
when thinking of what was going to happen tonight. There was just no way
that I could refuse him. And I didn't really want to refuse him.

I smiled when I saw Marshall the doorman. "Samuel!" He said. "Nice to see
you again."

"You, too. How are you?" I asked.

"Wonderful. So..." He leaned closer. "You really didn't go home together?"

I laughed. "No. But tonight..."

"Oh. I see. Well, take care. And have fun." He patted my back and the
gesture was really gentle and caring.

"Thank you."

Ray had paid the entry and led me inside with his hand on the small of my
back. Immediately there was a cheer, Ray greeted many guys and some that I
hadn't met last week looked at me with curious expressions. Ray went to get
our drinks and I sat down with his closest friends.

They were doing small talk, drinking and made me feel really welcome. There
was just something really open and nice about these guys. Ray came back and
gave me a drink. I thanked him and took a sip. It was something similar
like the last drink I'd had but there was something else... I wondered if
there was alcohol in it but it was really great and I didn't want to look
like a baby.

I could see that Ray was often in the centre of attention as he told all
kinds of stuff but he didn't ignore the others. He was just a very good
conversationalist and I loved watching his lips move, his eyes dance and
his hands making small gestures when he talked.

"You're completely taken by him." The guy at my left said into my ear and I
turned at him.

"Yeah. I can't help it." I replied.

"That's Ray."

I nodded.

"But don't worry. You must be special if he's taking you here after you
spent a night together." He said.

"We didn't."

"Oh? Well, everyone thought that..."

"He just brought me home."

"I see. Well, just try not to fall too hard, kid. You're a sweet guy and no
one wants you to get hurt like so many others."

I smiled but it wasn't a happy one. "Too late." I said. "But you're really
nice guys."

"Geez. Well, give me a call if you want someone to talk or if you're
looking for someone else. I can hook you up with some good guys and believe
me, I know that many in here would love to be in Ray's place." He gave me a
small piece of paper with his phone number.

"Thanks... err... I can't really remember..."

He chuckled. "Silas."

"Thanks, Silas." I said and looked at him a little closer. He was older
than Ray and me, maybe in his early twenties. His eyes were intense, he was
tall, looked strong and had a handsome face.

"You came with Ray and some other guy last Friday." I realized.

"Yup, that's me. Mac is the other one but he couldn't come tonight."

"I see."

"So, may have the first dance of the night?"

"Sure." I said. I looked at Ray for a second and he nodded with a smile. I
took one more sip of my drink and then followed Silas to the dance floor
where more and more people were dancing.

Silas was a good dancer and I really enjoyed it. Sometime during the second
song I suddenly realized that I had asked Ray for permission to dance with
Silas. I looked up at him and he was watching me intently. I felt like he
knew what was going on in my head but he didn't say anything. After the
third song I felt the tap on my shoulder and I gave Silas the
kiss. "Thanks." I whispered one last time and turned around to dance with
the guy.

Dancing helped me. It made me forget my worries, the music flowing through
my body emptied my brain from anything disturbing and I just enjoyed hours
of dancing, an occasional drink and more dancing.

When once again there was a tap on my shoulder there stood a guy I didn't
remember seeing but I didn't think much of it and just started
dancing. Somehow we drifted away from where Ray and his friends sat and the
guy's hands began to wander on my back, lower and lower until he was
cupping my ass cheeks. I felt really uncomfortable and tried to pull his
hands away but he just pulled me closer to him, making me feel really
trapped.

"Let me go." I tried to yell but we were near one of the music boxes and my
yell was lost.

"I have watched you the whole time." He said into my ear.

"Let go! Please! Let go!" I said, wondering why the hell I was in such a
situation once more.

"I can see that you're just a whore." He said and I looked at him with
tears in my eyes but he just grinned. "A whore and cock tease."

Not that word again!

"And I'm going to give you what you need." He said and pulled me even
further away. No one gave us a second look and we were soon in some dark
hallway that led to an emergency exit.

"Let me go." I said once again.

"No, you've been asking for it, shaking your ass at everyone but not giving
it. Just teasing all the guys. I know you want cock."

"No. Please. Let me go." I struggled but he was so much taller, so much
stronger. I wasn't weak but he had me pinned against the wall, held my
wrists with one hand and his body was pressed against mine, his other hand
slipped into the back of my jeans and more tears ran down my cheeks.

"I don't want this. Please, let me go." I sobbed but he just massaged my
ass.

"I know what you want, what you need. I'm going to give it to you good."

"Oh god, please. Please, let me go."

The guy wouldn't let go and so I did the only thing that I could still
do. I bit him. His neck was too high but I was able to reach his right
arm. He didn't even notice it at first but then I bit really hard, as hard
as I could and I tasted blood in my mouth.

"Ow!" He yelled and tried to pull his arm away but I wouldn't let go. He
had to let go of my wrists to slap me with his left arm. It really stung
and my ear was ringing but I didn't let go. He pulled back more and I
brought my knee up and kicked his nuts as hard as I could. He groaned and
when he went down I let his arm go.

I spit out the blood and ran away from him but just before I reached the
end of the hallway I bumped into someone and two hands grabbed me.

"Let go!" I yelled and hit whoever was holding me.

"Sam. Samuel. Sam!" I heard and looked up into Ray's concerned eyes.

"Ray!" I said and then wept at his chest. He put his arms around my back
and I held on to him, I cried and sobbed in his arms and felt so protected
by him.

"It's okay. Everything's okay." Ray mumbled with his comforting voice and I
noticed Silas and another of Ray's friends standing there.

"What happened?" Silas asked and then they saw the man on the ground. He
was getting up, still holding his nuts.

"That whore..." The man said and shot me a furious look. "He was just going
to get what he was asking for with his..." Before he got any further Silas
punched him in the face and the other guy punched him in his gut and then
they grabbed his arms and brought him away.

"You alright?" Ray asked after they were gone.

I nodded, still clinging on to him. Ray caressed my back with soothing
movements. I finally calmed down and Ray wiped away my tears with the thumb
of his hand. "You want to go home?" He asked.

"N... no. I don't want to ruin... your evening." I whispered.

"Nonsense. We'll go to the bathroom and then we'll say goodnight to
everyone, okay?"

"O... okay." I said but I couldn't let go of him yet. I didn't know why I
liked touching, feeling his body so much, maybe because of the heat, maybe
because it was Ray. He waited a few more minutes and then led me to the
bathroom where I washed my face. He then dried it tenderly with a paper
towel and smiled. "That's better."

"Thanks."

"It's alright. Let's go say bye, okay?"

"Yes."

We walked back to where his friends sat and they all looked at me and I
suddenly felt ashamed. Ray still had his arm around my back and that helped
me to say goodbye. They all wished us a good night and we left. Outside
Silas was talking to Marshall and when they saw us they smiled.

"That guy's not getting in here anymore." Marshall said. "Don't stop coming
here just because of him, okay?"

"Yes. Thank you."

"And Sam..." He grinned. "I hear you got sharp teeth and a good kick."

"Just... self-defence."

"Sure. Have a good night."

"Thanks." I said. We then also said goodbye to Silas and went to Ray's
apartment. We were both really quiet on the way but his arm never left me
and I was glad for that.

Ray lived in a small but very nice apartment. It had a balcony, one
bedroom, a living room and kitchen that were joined and a bathroom. I
really liked the warm feeling of it. "Nice. I like it." I finally said and
Ray smiled.

"Thanks. Are you tired?"

I wondered if that was just a question to get me into bed but I really was
tired. "Yes."

"Okay. You can brush your teeth and use the toilet first. And just get into
bed. If you don't want to share I can sleep on the couch."

"No. Bed... together is okay."

"Good." He smiled and I took the toothbrush from my bag and went to the
bathroom. I saw that he had a bathtub and shower in one and thought that a
bath would really feel good. But when I was done I just went to his
bedroom, saw the king size bed, got rid of my clothes and slipped under the
blanket. Before Ray was even near the bed I was already off in dreamland.

^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v

I woke up when the heat that had been surrounding my body went away. A
sleepy moan escaped my lips and I heard Ray's chuckle. "I'll be back." He
said and I realized we'd been spooning in our sleep. I heard him use the
bathroom and then how he rummaged in the kitchen. I dozed off again and the
next time I opened my eyes I smelt coffee and bacon.

"Hungry?" He asked.

"Yeah."

"Good." He motioned me to sit up and then he put the tray down on my
legs. He got another one and got back into bed next to me.

"Wow." I said. There was coffee, toast, bacon, scrambled eggs, butter,
juice and a slice of an apple on the tray. "This is amazing." I could
really get used to breakfast in bed, I thought. Ray smiled and we dug
in. When we were done I helped Ray putting the dishes in the dishwasher. It
was then that I noticed that we were both naked and I got a good look at
his body.

Ray had good definition and almost no fat on his body, he had more hair
than me but his chest was smooth. There was a treasure tail that led to his
cock and I gulped when I saw that it was as big soft as mine was when it
was hard. His legs were strong just like his arms and when he turned around
I could see his beautiful back and his firm butt.

He knew I was checking him out and he used the opportunity to look at my
body. I knew I had a decent body but my package looked so small compared to
his and I blushed when he looked at it. But he just smiled and gave me a
kiss. "You're beautiful."

We then took separate showers and put clothes on because we were going
out. Ray said he needed to go grocery shopping and had the idea that we
cook lunch together. I liked that and so we were off.

At home it was always my mother who went grocery shopping and she also did
the cooking. But I had helped her often enough so that I was able to
prepare a nice meal when my parents were out. I did enjoy cooking and was
looking forward to doing it with Ray.

"I'm sorry I just fell asleep." I said on the way to the store.

He smiled. "You don't have to be. We were both exhausted and I was out
within seconds just like you."

"Okay. What are we cooking?"

"I thought we could make spaghetti Bolognese or something like that. I
don't mind."

"Spaghetti sounds good. Maybe some salad... and dessert?"

"Vanilla ice cream." He said and grinned at me.

"With topping."

"Exactly."

It was fun shopping with him. He pushed the cart and we both put things in
it, it was soon really full. I wanted to pay half of it but he said that
most of the stuff was for him and we left with several bags.

Back in his apartment he told me where everything belonged and we then
started to prepare lunch. Staying in the kitchen with him, the two of us
wearing aprons, cooking together, talking, laughing and tasting the
food... it felt so right. I wanted the rest of my life to be like this. I
wanted it so bad but I knew I only had today and so I tried to make the
best of it.

Occasionally Ray kissed my lips or my neck and I loved those quick kisses
that were so innocent yet so promising. By noon the food was ready and we
sat down at the table. It was really good and we both had seconds. After
cleaning up we snuggled up on the couch, needing to relax after so much
food. I felt wonderful in his arms. We talked softly and his voice was so
tender that I could almost believe that I wasn't just one out of hundreds
of other guys but someone he really was interested in.

Somehow I ended up sitting between his legs, my back leaning against his
chest and his hands were resting on my tummy.

I can't remember what we talked about but sometime his fingers began to
wander. He moved one of his hands up, caressed my abs and then brushed over
my nipples through my shirt. I gasped.

"Is this okay?" He asked me.

"Yeah. Very okay."

"Good." He kissed the back of my neck and his hands were soon all over my
chest, then they slipped under my shirt and it felt even better, being able
to feel his skin, his hot hands. A moan escaped my lips when he pinched one
nipple, then the other and then both. My back arched a little and I felt
that he was as excited as I was.

I turned my head to kiss him and his lips tasted wonderful, I couldn't let
go of them anymore and I turned my whole body around until I was lying on
top of him. His hands now caressed my back and slowly worked their way to
my pants. He cupped my ass cheeks, massaged them a little and then went up
to my back again. It felt incredible and I wanted to be even closer to him,
to feel his naked skin and tried to get his shirt off. He helped me by
lifting his upper body and tensing his abs, which showed off the six-pack
he had.

My lips went back to his and we made out for a long time, both of us
getting more and more excited. I was feeling lightheaded when Ray tried to
sit up. I sat back on his lap and he slowly got up with his arms under my
legs and my arms around his neck. He carried me into his bedroom and there
he put me down on the bed and took off my pants, socks and briefs. His
fingers never stopped caressing my body, his hands moved along my legs, my
thighs and I shuddered with the sensation.

I then nudged him and he complied by lying down next to me. I pulled down
his pants and when he was naked in front of me I once again stared at the
massive tool between his legs. Now that it was hard it was much bigger,
longer and fatter than the dildo and I wondered it I would be able to take
it all.

My fingers were trembling as I touched it, tentatively. I looked up at Ray
who was smiling and nodding at me, telling me to go ahead. I wrapped my
fingers around it, slid them slowly up and down and was happy when I heard
Ray moan. I then bent over, moved my lips closer to his cock and looked up
at his eyes again. They were full of lust and his lips were half open.

I kissed the head of it, thought of the tricks the girls had taught me and
then began to lick it, I licked and nipped at the head, I slowly ran my
tongue at the underside of it, delighted with the reaction it got me and
then I took the head in my mouth, sucked on it, enjoyed the way it filled
my mouth.

"Oh, that's so good." Ray moaned and I started bobbing up and down on his
cock, tried to get more of it inside me, tried to let it into my throat
just like the dildo. It wasn't easy and I used a lot of tongue, I used my
hand, I used my lips while I tried again and again and then it was all the
way in.

"Oh, baby. Sam, oh... so good. So amazing, Sammy."

Ray's words were encouraging and I stayed a few seconds, then went up to
gasp for air, to lick the head some more and then I went down again.

I felt Ray's hands on my head, just playing with my hair, letting me take
the lead and I felt amazing, it felt so good to make him feel good. I soon
picked up speed, bobbed up and down faster and Ray moaned louder, his hips
bucked, he tried to warn me and then he came. I pulled back but not
completely. I wanted to taste it even though the girls that had tasted it
had said it was disgusting. I wanted to know what it was like, Ray's semen
and as he filled my mouth I swallowed, tasted it and thought that I could
get used to it. It wasn't nearly as bad as the girls had said.

When Ray came down from his orgasm he was panting. He pulled me up to him
and kissed me hard, not minding the fact that he got some of his own
spunk. "Oh my god, you're so good." He mumbled, kissed me again and
caressed my back. "So good. So amazing. Did you exercise more than once?"

"No."

"Wow, you're so good. So good. Not everyone can do that." He kissed my lips
one last time and then went down to my neck, my nipples, he turned me
around so that I was lying on my back and the minutes that followed were
amazing as he explored my body, kissing, licking, nibbling, sucking,
touching, caressing, pinching lightly... I was in heaven and couldn't hold
back very long when he finally touched my dick and played with it. I was
whimpering and moaning the whole time but when I came I yelled, I yelled
out his name and it was the most intense orgasm I'd ever had.

We cuddled after that, hands lazily caressing and occasionally
kissing. After maybe half an hour we were both hard again and continued our
exploration. It took longer this time but was even more intense and we
dozed off afterwards. And then I woke up to see him blowing me and we both
came a third time.

I felt drained after that and was a little surprised that Ray hadn't tried
to fuck me. He had caressed my ass, had let his fingers wander into my
crack but didn't try anything beyond that and I was glad about that because
honestly I was scared of having his massive cock inside my ass.

We were hungry and went to eat some of the leftovers and had some real ice
cream for dessert. We took a shower together, watched a movie and then went
back to bed. When I fell asleep I could honestly say that this was the best
day in my entire life.

^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v

Waking up brought me back to reality. This was it. My time with Ray was
over. I crawled out of bed, away from Ray's warm body without him
noticing. I put on my clothes, I watched his peaceful, sleeping face for a
few minutes, wanted to go back, back into his arms but I knew that if I
stayed he'd just tell me that this was the end. And I couldn't hear him say
that. So I decided to go before he got the chance to dump me.

I took a pen and wrote 'thank you' on a piece of paper. I put it on the
cushion next to Ray, leant over to kiss his lips one last time and had to
use all my willpower to pull away. I left his apartment quietly and tears
were streaming down my cheeks. My heart screamed at me to go back, to beg
him to have him for one more day, to kiss him and tell him 'I love you' but
my brain said 'no'.

For a second I wondered if I should have stayed with plan one, just being
friends with him and never sleep with Ray but then I shook my head. This
had been worth it. Yesterday was worth the heartbreak and the pain, it was
worth the tears, it was worth everything.

When I was home I ran in my room and collapsed on the bed, sobbing. I
couldn't remember the last time I'd cried so hard. Maybe after Lisa had
died but other than that... My heart was screaming in pain and I just wept
and wept and let all the tears fall.

Maybe an hour later I could hear my phone but I ignored it. I didn't care
who called and then went to the bathroom to take a shower. When I looked
into the mirror I saw how horrible I looked and decided to put on a lot of
make-up to hide my swollen eyes and also because my parents would be home
later. I remembered the clothes that were still in the locker at the train
station but shrugged. My phone rang again and a little later there was a
text message. I picked it up and saw that it was from Melissa who was
asking how things had gone and where I was.

I put it away and when I looked like Lisa again I sat listlessly on the
chair and just stared outside. I felt cold, empty, sad, depressed,
heartbroken and numb. It was windy outside and I watched the trees and the
leaves for hours. In the early afternoon I finally got up, looked at the
phone and saw that I had eight missed calls but I didn't look from whom
they were because I feared that if even one was from Ray I'd become weak
and call him back.

There was another text message from Melissa and I decided to answer
her. But it must have sounded bad because half an hour later Melissa was at
the door. As soon as she saw me she just hugged me, pulled me close and
told me everything would be okay. She had a box of chocolate and we sat on
my bed, eating them and me trying to tell her about it. I let out the guy
at the club and some details of the afternoon but it felt good to tell her
and she listened, hugged me and comforted me.

When I was done she hesitated a little. "You know, I don't want to get your
hopes up for nothing but he's a little weird."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I mean, yes, he's apparently a player but maybe you are at least a little
special to him. You told me that his friends were surprised he didn't take
you home that first time after the club. And they were all surprised to see
you with him again so that's definitely something he usually doesn't do."

"Yes, but he just did that because I told him I wouldn't put out on the
first date and I succumbed to his charms at the second one."

"Well, yes but he went through a lot of trouble to get you. He didn't go to
look for someone else the first night and he went on a date with you
without sleeping with you and he spent two nights with you even though you
just slept. I really can't imagine him going so far for all his one night
stands."

"Maybe he liked the challenge." I mumbled and Melissa sighed.

"Maybe."

I was glad that Melissa spent the evening with me. She managed to make
think of other things for a while and I was thankful to her. My parents
came home very late when I was already in bed. But I slept badly that
night.

^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v

I groaned when I looked into the mirror the next morning. I looked exactly
like someone that just got his heart broken and I put on a lot of make-up
to hide how bad I felt. My friends were all really nice to me and suggested
a heartbreak-party. Melissa agreed but said to wait a little.

The next day I felt even worse. I had thought that Monday was bad but
Tuesday was so much worse. I almost hadn't eaten the day before but today I
could barely drink a few sips of tea. I couldn't really listen in class and
walked around like a zombie. Melissa was really worried and when my phone
rang during lunch she asked who it was.

"Probably Ray." I mumbled.

"He's been calling you?" She asked.

"Yes."

"Geez, Sam. I think you should take the call. Maybe you're really
special. I mean why would he call you?"

"Don't know."

"Come on, call him back."

"I can't." I just said and took another sip from my tea.

On Wednesday I felt dizzy and thought about staying home but then decided
not to. That day was worse than Monday and Tuesday combined and I wondered
how low I'd sink before things got better again. My friends were really
worried about me eating nothing and looking horrible but I shrugged it
off. After school Melissa was walking at my side as we left the areal.

"Sam." I heard and at first I thought it was just my imagination or wishful
thinking but then I heard Ray's voice again. I stopped and saw him, Melissa
put her hand on my arm and suddenly everything went black.

I wasn't sure how much time passed, probably just a few seconds but when I
opened my eyes again I was lying on the ground.

"Are you alright?" That beautiful, deep voice asked me and I noticed that
Ray was holding my head.

"I... guess..." I mumbled and then saw that there was a crowd around me -
people asking what was wrong and if I needed help.

"She barely ate since Sunday." Melissa said to Ray and I noticed that Ray
had dark circles under his eyes. I lifted my hand and caressed his face, I
couldn't stop myself and just then it didn't matter at all.

"Stupid girl." Ray said and I was glad he didn't say 'stupid boy'. That
would have definitely made Melissa wonder.

"Let's get her home." Melissa said.

"Not her home." Ray said. "We can go to my apartment. It's not very far and
I have a car."

"Okay." Melissa said and then looked at me. "Can you get up or do you need
a little more time?"

"I can..." I whispered and Ray helped me, held me with his strong hands
when I got dizzy again and we got to his car. They put me in the back and
Melissa sat next to me, holding me while I was trying to understand what
was happening, why Ray was here, why he had those dark circles under his
eyes and why I had fainted. Well, the last one was most probably because
I'd eaten almost nothing but I didn't understand the rest.

We were at his apartment within minutes and I thought back to the weekend,
how amazing the time had been I spent here and how horrible I felt when I
left.

Ray and Melissa helped me upstairs and once in Ray's apartment they sat me
down on the couch where we'd cuddled and made out. Ray went to the kitchen
and cooked some water and opened the fridge.

"I think you're special." Melissa whispered to me. "He obviously didn't
sleep and he looks at you like... like you're really precious."

"I... I don't want to hope and then find out that..." I blinked to stop the
tears from coming.

"I understand. But he really seems like a good guy. And he looks better in
real." She smiled and I nodded.

Ray came back a few minutes later with a tray. He handed me a mug with tea
and I took a sip. It wasn't too hot and was very sweet. Next he made me eat
some berries, some apple slices and a small cookie. He also offered some to
Melissa but she declined.

"You feel better now?" Ray asked me.

"Yes." I nodded.

"Good. Just lie down and finish your tea. You want to sleep in the bed?"

"Couch is okay." I said and Ray nodded. I lay down and closed my eyes. I
heard Melissa thanking Ray and then saying she had to go home. Ray said
okay and the sound of the closing door was the last thing I heard.

^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v

I didn't wake up on the couch. Ray must have carried me to the bed after I
fell asleep. A look at the clock told me it was nine pm and I went
outside. Ray was lying on the couch, listening to soft music. When he saw
me he sat up and smiled. "Feel a little better?"

"Yes. Thank you."

"Do you want to eat some more?"

"Yes, please."

"Good. Sit down." He motioned to the table and I saw him put something in
the microwave. A little later he put a plate in front of me with some
lasagne. It smelled amazing and I dug in.

Ray didn't eat. He just watched me without saying anything. I was too
hungry to feel uncomfortable and just ate the wonderful lasagne. He filled
my glass with water and when I was done eating I put the dishes in the
dishwasher and then wondered what to do.

"Why didn't you answer your phone?" Ray then asked and I leaned against the
wall.

"I was scared. And... I knew that I couldn't see you again."

"Why? I can't understand why. Did I do something wrong? I've been asking
myself that question the last days and I just couldn't... understand. Why
were you scared?"

"Because..." My heart beat faster now and I knew I couldn't lie to him when
he looked at me with those tired yet intense eyes. "Because..." I whispered
again. "... you never sleep twice with the same person. And..." I saw that
my hands were trembling. "I couldn't see you again after that. It would
hurt too much."

"Oh."

"I knew I was just one of many and..."

"You're special." Ray said and my heart beat even faster. Did he really
mean that? Could it really be true that he cared about me and that I was
the one who made him... settle down? "I couldn't understand it but I really
like you. Sam... it's true that I had this stupid rule and I didn't know
you heard about it but I honestly never felt about anyone else like I feel
about you. I want to protect you, hold you, make love to you, I feel like
you need me and I feel like I need you. God, that all sounds so corny." He
smiled a little. "I thought you didn't like the time we spent together. I
thought I went to fast or made a mistake. I couldn't sleep, you didn't
answer the phone and I just had to come and ask you for the reason. But I
had no idea that you felt like that." He rubbed his temple like he had a
headache. "Do you mean... that you like me too? That I'm special?"

"You have no idea how special." I just said, thinking that we should make
this some kitsch-movie with all those things we said.

He smiled at me. "Come here?" He opened his arms and I walked to him and
sat on his lap, our chests together and his face so close to mine.

"I'm..." I whispered. "I'm in love..." It was the first time I ever said
something like that. "With you."

Ray didn't say anything. He just pulled me closer and kissed my lips
tenderly. I took that as his answer and thought that I had to be the
luckiest person on earth and then he shoved his tongue in my mouth and I
stopped thinking altogether.

^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v

"You're glowing." Mariah said.

"Yeah, you're looking so much better." Jess agreed.

"No heartbreak-party, huh?" Kelly asked.

I smiled. "Nope."

"That's so amazing. So... tell us more. Details. You stayed another night
and you didn't even tell us about your first time!" Leila said. It was the
evening after the night I spent with Ray. The night I confessed my love for
him. Melissa had called my parents the day before to tell them I was
staying with her. Now we were all sitting in her room and seven pairs of
eyes were looking at me.

"Alright." I said, knowing that they'd ask questions until their curiosity
was stilled. "Last weekend I thought it would be the only time and there
was that bitter-sweet taste to it but it was wonderful. We went to his
apartment after the club but were both really tired. I think I fell asleep
before he was done with his shower."

"Aw, that's cute." Mariah giggled.

"The next day was amazing. Really, really amazing." I said and my cheeks
reddened. "We went grocery shopping first and then cooked lunch
together. Oh, and I forgot to mention that he brought me breakfast in bed!"

"Wow, he's a real gentleman."

"Yeah. He really is. He's my hero." I thought and then realized I had said
it aloud when the girl giggled.

"You're the cutest. But now to the dirty bits."

"Well, after lunch we cuddled on his couch and he began to caress my chest
and we ended up making out and he carried me to bed and there..." I
smiled. "We got naked and he was touching me everywhere. Then I made him
lie down and I touched him everywhere. And I gave him a blowjob."

"How big is he? Average? Bigger?"

"Like the dildo plus maybe an inch in length and also quite a bit fatter."

"Oh wow." Jess said.

"And did you manage to get it all?"

"Yes." I nodded. "And after he came he did the same... I mean, he sucked
and licked my nipples and kissed me everywhere and made me come. And then
we cuddled and half an hour later we did it again. And then we slept a
little and when I woke up he used his tongue and we both came a third
time."

"Geez, you got yourself the perfect lover." Jess said. "My first time was
with a guy that stuck it in, moved for two minutes, came and took it out."

"Yeah, you're really lucky to have such a considerate lover." Melissa
said. "But he didn't try to go the whole way?"

"No. I guess he knew I was a little scared of how big he was."

"And yesterday?"

"Yesterday we just made out and went to bed early. I think he was worried
that he went too fast."

Mariah sighed. "You got yourself a keeper, there. Don't let him go."

"I won't." I said and thought that if Ray ever got tired of me I'd probably
be unable to survive. I didn't understand how I could love him so much
after such a short time but I did. Maybe it was because it was the first
love and he was my first in everything. I just knew I couldn't bear the
thought of being without him.

The rest of the week passed fast and on Friday it was time to go out
again. The girls had hinted at coming to the club, too sometime but I
managed to talk them out of it. But I wondered how much longer I could hide
it.

^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v

Ray kissed me as soon as he saw me, and neither of us cared if anyone
stared at us. "How are you baby?" He asked and I loved the sound of
that. Over a week had passed since that day I fainted and I'd spent several
evenings with Ray.

"I'm great. You?"

"I'm ready for the weekend. This week was seriously stressful. And..." He
glanced at me and grinned. "I'm horny."

"What are you gonna do about it?"

"Well, I thought I could try to seduce that cute guy with those big blue
eyes... what do you think? Will it work?"

"I'm pretty sure it will. Just kiss him and he'll be at your service."

Ray chuckled and we went to eat dinner after we brought my bag to his
apartment. My parents just nodded when I told them I'd be gone this weekend
and I really came to wonder if they loved me at all. Probably not.

We drove to the club and Marshall's eyes widened when he saw us approaching
together. He pulled me a little to the side and talked in a quiet
voice. "Kid, you either still didn't put out or you're damn good in bed so
that he had to have seconds."

I blushed. "Err..."

"Oh, you're good in bed, huh?"

"N... I... err... I don't know..."

He laughed. "Just joking with you. You're a good kid, Sam and I'm glad to
see you happy. You're good for him."

"He's good for me." I said and he patted my back. Ray paid the entry and I
made a mental note to pay the next time. He then put his arm on my back and
when we entered the club it became quiet - or as quiet as it can get in a
club. The music was still playing, there were still people dancing, some
were still talking but a lot of the guys looked at us with wide eyes.

"Damn." Someone said. "He made you settle down?"

"Yup." Ray grinned. "He's mine. I'm his. We're together."

"Wow."

"That's weird."

"All those broken hearts."

"Seriously?"

"How did you do that, Sam?"

"That's so hard to believe."

"Our player? Settle down?"

"No more bets about who your next target will be."

"What?" Ray asked and the guy looked guilty. "Oups." He said.

"Bets? You bet on... oh my god, you dogs!" He said but laughed.

I enjoyed the night in the club and was getting really comfortable with
Ray's friends. I started to remember their names and got to know some of
them better. And I was sure that as long as Ray and I were together we'd be
here every Friday night. Ray encouraged me to dance with the guys since he
knew I loved to dance so much but he did warn his friends not to grope me
too much.

I really had a good time, I got one more of Tyler's wonderful drinks but at
the same time I was impatient to get home, err... Ray's apartment. I was
sure that this was the day, it would finally happen and I felt excited as
well as a little nervous, knowing how big he was but I trusted him enough
to know that he wouldn't hurt me.

Pretty soon I felt Ray's hand on my shoulder and I turned to dance with
him. I did my best to turn him on, we locked eyes, I grinded my body
against his and let my hands caress him behind his ears because last
Saturday I had discovered how sensitive he was.

"Oh... Sam..." He moaned. "You're making me so hot."

"I want you so bad." I mumbled in his ear.

"I want to make love to you." He said. "I want to see you naked on my bed
with your legs spread." Now it was me who moaned and I was a little worried
that I might come in my pants if he continued. "I want to see you take it
all, I want to watch your face, I want to give you my babies."

I could see the grin on his face. "Let's go home a little early?" I asked.

"Yes. But maybe we should wait a little before we go over to them. I need
to calm down first."

"Yeah. Me, too." I said and stepped a little away from Ray. My hard-on was
barely visible but his looked like it had every intention of splitting the
seam of his pants. It took a few minutes but then Ray put his hand on my
back, a gesture I really liked, and we went over to his friends. They all
had knowing grins on their faces and wished us a good night. Marshall also
grinned and gave me the thumbs up.

"We have everyone's blessing." Ray said.

"Yeah."

"Let's go home."

The drive felt way too long and we practically raced to his door. He opened
it and once we were inside he turned around and pressed me against the wall
and ravished my mouth. I didn't feel trapped and just opened my mouth to
let his tongue inside. He explored my mouth and his hands caressed my
sides. I moaned and tried to unbutton his shirt. At the same time Ray tried
to get rid of mine, pulling it over my head and our lips stopped touching
for a few seconds. But then he was back and I finally got his shirt off and
felt his hot chest against mine.

"Bed..." Ray mumbled. I just nodded and we sort of walked together to the
bedroom, our lips still together. I laid down when I felt it and Ray
climbed over me. He opened my pants and I lifted my hips so he could pull
them off. He then first kissed my legs all over, licked my thighs, which
made me shiver and then slowly pulled my briefs down. My hard dick slapped
against my tummy and I fumbled with his pants but my fingers were trembling
and Ray helped me and got rid of the rest of his clothes and lay down on
me, our hard cocks rubbing against each other and he was kissing my ears
and whispering beautiful words.

"Please..." I whispered.

"Hmm?"

"Please, Ray. Make love to me."

"Oh baby, you make me so hot." He moaned.

"Ray, I want you... inside me." It was weird saying those things but it
really felt good and I really wanted Ray, wanted to feel him, wanted to
know what that big phallus of his would feel like inside me.

"You sure?" He asked but I could see in his eyes how much he wanted this.

"Yes. Please, Ray."

"Tell me if it hurts too much." Ray said and then continued to caress my
body, licking me everywhere, he kissed the tip of my cock, then my balls
and wandered even lower. He grabbed one of the cushions and pushed it under
my hips and I spread my legs, feeling a little conscious but Ray's hands
were reassuring and gentle. And then I felt his tongue at my pucker and
gasped.

"Ray! Ooh..."

He just licked more and I felt how he pushed the tip of his tongue inside
me. "Ray... that's... dirty... why..." I wasn't able to talk normally and
Ray looked up. "Everything about you is beautiful." He just said and then
continued rimming me. I got lost in the sensations and didn't even notice
when he grabbed the lube. I just suddenly felt something cool and then his
finger was inside me. It felt weird and then he wiggled around, searching
for that spot and suddenly I was seeing stars and I yelled out his name.

"Like it?" He asked.

"Yes, yes, yes. Please, Ray... I want you."

"I want you too, baby. So bad..." He pushed another finger inside and
started to stretch me, and then came a third finger. It did hurt but at the
same time he was rubbing against that spot and pain and pleasure mixed
together and I was a moaning and writhing mess.

"Don't... tease me..." I managed to mumble. "Please... Ray... do
it... aaaah..."

"You ready?" He asked with a grin.

"Yes, please, Ray." I almost yelled and that moment I didn't even realize
how slutty I was acting, I just wanted him to fill me.

"Okay. Tell me if it hurts, okay?"

"Yes..." I said and then I felt something big press against my entrance and
he slowly pushed the head in. The pain sent tears in my eyes and I
winced. Ray looked concerned. "Are you okay?" He asked and stopped
pushing. "You have the biggest part inside."

"W... wait a little, please." I said and he nodded and kissed my lips
tenderly. When I felt the pain decrease I nodded at him and he pushed more
of his cock inside. After an inch or so he pulled back a little and then
pushed forward again. He continued this motion until he was fully embedded
inside my and I had never felt so full.

"Okay?" He asked.

"Yes. It feels... weird."

He chuckled and that made his cock jump. He then pulled back and pushed in
again, slowly, carefully and I felt the pain go away and when he changed
the angle a little I cried out. "Oh... Ray... so good..." I moaned.

"There, huh?" He mumbled, his breath ragged.

"Yeah, ooh, Ray... mmmh... oh yes..." He was hitting that spot every time
and I couldn't believe how good it felt. I lost myself in the bliss of the
sensation, couldn't think straight, moans escaped my lips and I yelled out
Ray's name. It wasn't too long before he picked up speed, pushed his cock
harder and faster into me and I held on to him, met his thrusts and felt
myself get closer to the edge. Suddenly my whole body was jerking and my
semen spurted out, hit Ray's chest and mine and while I was in heaven I
heard Ray yell my name, heard him groan and then he thrust inside me one
more time, deeper than before and just stayed there and filled me with his
seed.

I was gasping and heard Ray's fast breath when I came down from that
incredible and unbelievable orgasm, even better than when Ray just sucked
me and I couldn't really believe that I'd come without touching my cock.

Ray's cock slipped out and he lay at my side, his arms still around
me. "That was amazing." He whispered. "You were so amazing."

"You were..." I mumbled.

"No, I love your hole, so tight and hot... And you're so beautiful, so
needy... and you were begging me..." He chuckled. "That really turned me
on."

"I was..." I tried to get rid of the knot in my throat.

"What?"

"Nothing..."

"Sam, what is it?"

"I was..." I looked into his kind eyes. "I was acting like a slut, right?"

Ray was quiet and then his lips twitched but he didn't smile. "Yeah. I
loved that. And you're my slut, nobody else's." With that he pulled me even
closer to him, kissed me and I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v

My ass was sore the next morning and when I went to the bathroom I was
walking funny and I heard Ray chuckle. He was still half asleep, his eyes
not completely open but he looked amused. I shot him an angry look and
after relieving my bladder I climbed back into bed.

"It's not funny." I mumbled as I snuggled closer to Ray and he put his arms
around me."

"I'm sorry. It just looked funny."

"Mmh." I said and dozed off again in his arms where I felt safe. It was a
little later when I felt his hard cock against my crack and I turned
around. "I can't right now."

"I know." He said. "It's just that holding you is making me hard."

"I can blow you."

"Oh, yes." He said and I went down on him and tried my best to make his
start into the day a very pleasurable one. It didn't take him very long to
cum and he returned the favour. He then went to take a shower, saying that
it would take much longer if we took it together and I dozed another few
minutes, still feeling the warmth. When he was done he came out with his
hair still wet and a towel around his hips. He looked incredibly
sexy. "Your turn." He said. I nodded and washed all the sticky stuff from
me and when I came out I smelt pancakes. Ray was only wearing an apron and
I wished I had a camera.

"Take a seat." He said and we ate those amazing pancakes for breakfast. He
really was a wonderful cook.

We went to the mall in the afternoon and just kind of hung out and had fun
when I saw my mother and froze. "What is it?" Ray asked.

"There's my mom." I said.

"Where?"

"The one with the green blouse and blonde hair."

Ray nodded and just then she looked over. I turned away and hoped she
didn't notice. When I looked back she was looking elsewhere. "She didn't
recognize you." Ray said and shook his head.

"They only see me with girl's clothes and make-up."

"But shouldn't she be able to recognize you? She's your mother."

I just shrugged and we went to grab some donuts.

I spent Sunday with my friends and they all wanted to meet Ray, only
Melissa had seen him in real. Some of them had boyfriends and we decided to
organize a get-together.

We decided to have a barbeque in Melissa's backyard and her cousin who was
coming to visit for the weekend had offered to cook for us. We were all
excited about it and the girls were all looking forward to seeing Ray in
real.

Ray came to get me in the early afternoon and we drove to Melissa's
house. Mariah opened the door and I could see how she checked Ray out, face
- shoes - crotch - torso - legs - face again. She then smiled and took the
offered hand. "Hi, Ray. I'm Mariah."

"It's nice to meet you and thanks for the invitation."

"Of course. Come in. Sam." She hugged me. "You got yourself a hunk." She
whispered and I grinned at her. We then went to the backyard where Melissa
came towards us and greeted us both with a hug. Jess and Leila were already
there, too and I could see how they checked Ray out and I also noticed how
their boyfriends frowned a little but they had nothing to be jealous
of. Ray wouldn't ever try to snatch them away.

Only then did I notice the guy who was standing at the grill. The last time
I met Melissa's cousin Shawn was years ago. He was a thin guy and just
waved at us.

Soon the other girls arrived with boyfriends in tow. Melissa and Mariah
were the only ones without one but that surely wasn't because there weren't
enough offers. They were both really pretty and went on a lot of dates but
were really picky.

When everyone arrived we sat down and ate some of the snacks and Jess was
the one to ask us how Ray and I had met. We looked at each other and his
eyes told me to go ahead. "It was the night when I went out with Frank." I
said and could see their interest. "Well, Frank was an ass. He was trying
to force me to do something and then Ray was suddenly there and punched his
lights out."

"What?" Melissa demanded. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm sorry. I was just... ashamed by what happened." I mumbled and Ray put
his hand on my back.

"Geez, I didn't know he was such an asshole!"

"Yeah. But Ray, you're a hero." Leila said. "I saw what Frank looked like."

I could see that the girls were all in awe of Ray and Melissa's cousin then
announced that the food was ready. There were grilled steaks and fish,
vegetables and bread. It smelt really good and we had a great time
together, talking, laughing and eating.

I had to go to the bathroom after dessert but once I was inside Shawn
cornered me.

"You know..." He said and I felt uncomfortable. "I've always had a good
sense. My alarm bells went off the first time I saw you. But you really had
me confused today. I couldn't believe that my gaydar was wrong."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"I always thought you were a lesbian."

"Huh?"

"My gaydar told me you go for your own sex. And then today you come here
with that hunk, obviously in love and so I have to wonder if my gaydar is
wrong, right?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I said and tried to get past
him.

"No? Well, I have you figured out. You're not really a girl, right?" He
asked.

"You're talking nonsense. Now go away." I pushed him to the side but then
he suddenly grabbed my crotch and even if I wasn't very big I knew he could
feel it. He grinned in triumph.

"I knew it! I just knew. I wonder what Melissa will think about it. I bet
she'll be disappointed to find out her best friend is a tranny."

"You're not going to tell her anything." I said.

"And why would I not?"

"Does she know you're gay? Do your parents know?"

He suddenly paled and I knew I had him. "I'm sure that Melissa would
understand if I told her the reason. But I bet your parents wouldn't be too
happy about it and I can get their phone number. So, let's just both be
quiet, okay?"

He looked angry and I wondered why he'd even tried to threaten me so I
walked past him and to the bathroom. When I went outside again I looked at
Ray and he just pulled me close to him and I felt immediately better. His
warm body just felt like home, his strong arms seemed to protect me and I
loved the feeling. He rested his chin on my head and I could see the girls
grin at us.

Our get-together went long into the night and Melissa offered us to stay
but we declined and the girls all had knowing grins on their faces. Ray
drove us back to his apartment and there I told him about Shawn. He smiled
and said he didn't know I could blackmail someone like that and then made
gentle love to me.

It was one week later that I received a phone call from Shawn. He
apologized for his actions and said that he was deeply in the closet. I
felt sorry for him and from then on he often called for advice or just
someone to listen to his worries. He was a good guy once I got to know him
a little better and I was happy for him when he told me he met someone
several weeks later.

I spent almost all the weekends and some weeknights at Ray's apartment. We
had gotten really comfortable around each other and I was happier than I
had ever been. We also continued our Friday nights in the club and his
friends were still in awe at his settling down but also happy for us.

The day I realized that Ray was really serious about our relationship was
when he mentioned the future. He said that there was no way he could get
into Harvard but that there were several colleges where he wanted to go
where there was also a good law school.

"I don't think I want to study law after all." I said. "Lisa would have
done that but thanks to you I've become myself again after all this time. I
still don't really know what I want to do, but I want to go to college with
you. My parents won't be happy but if I can get a scholarship..."

"You'll get a full one with your grades." Ray said with a big smile and we
went to research about the colleges he'd mentioned and I was happy with his
decision and within weeks we applied for them. I hadn't decided on a major
yet but often thought about it. I was interested in language, also in
history and psychology but I wasn't sure where I saw myself in ten
years. Hopefully in Ray's arms.

Time passed very quickly and I could have graduated from high school in the
winter but I decided to do one more semester because I wanted to graduate
with my friends. But I got myself a part time job in a small coffee and
earned a bit of money. I wasn't sure what my parents would do if they found
out about me not going to Harvard and so I just saved up my allowance and
the money I earned.

On Valentines Day Ray took me out to a nice restaurant and then we went on
a boat. It was cold but really romantic with the stars and the moon above
us, and the lights of the city were reflected in the water. Later we went
to a hotel and there we had champagne and then Ray did the most incredible
thing. He offered me his ass. For months it had been him who fucked me and
now he told me it was my turn. I was amazed and really turned on.

I tried to make it good for both of us, tried not to come too fast but it
was such an amazing feeling to be inside Ray's hot ass. Afterwards Ray made
love to me once more, he changed our position several times and after all
these months I'd gotten used to his cock and I loved it and there was
something really nice about doing it in a hotel on Valentines Day.

"I love you." I mumbled when I snuggled close to him and he pulled me even
closer.

"I love you more, Sam." He said and my eyes watered, hearing those
words. For some reason I hadnà ⠬℠t had the courage to
say those words again after the first time I said them and it was the first
time hearing Ray say them. He caressed my back and I soon fell asleep in
his arms.

^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v

In spring we got notice from several colleges that offered us
scholarships. We chose the one where I received a full one and Ray a very
good scholarships. We would have to get a part time job but we could
manage.

Graduation was there before we realized it. The time had just passed too
fast. My parents were there and maybe they were a little proud of me. But I
was much more happy about Ray's presence.

My name was called very soon but the principal said 'Samuel Collins' and
when I walked to the stage I could hear whispers and also Melissa's
questioning look. I also noticed my parents and it looked like it suddenly
hit them that I was not Lisa, I was Samuel, their son, their son they never
really loved because their first child, Lisa had been perfect.

As soon as it was over I ran to Ray and he kissed me in front of
everyone. We took pictures with our friends but I could feel that they were
all a little confused about me.

We had organized a party that evening and when we arrived Melissa pulled me
aside.

"Sam, what's going on?" She asked me.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered. "I never... there's a reason... I mean..."

"You really are a guy?"

"Yes."

"Sam, you have no idea how pissed I am."

"I'm sorry."

"Well, you're going to explain everything to me tomorrow but right now
we're at a party and we'll have fun. But I expect a long explanation."

"Yes." I said with a smile when I realized that even though she was angry
she was willing to listen to me.

I had a hangover the next morning but I woke up in Ray's arms in one of
Melissa's guestrooms so it wasn't too bad. I had some extra clothes in my
bag and decided to put them on and Melissa would see me for the first time
as a guy.

Ray smiled when he saw me dressed that way and we walked to the kitchen
together. Melissa was up already and her eyes widened when she saw us. But
she didn't say anything and just handed us two mugs with coffee.

"Thanks." I said and she nodded. Just that moment Mariah came down with a
sleepy face and when she saw me she stopped dead in her track. "Sam?" She
asked and rubbed her eyes.

"Yeah."

"Geez, I think I'm dreaming. Can you pinch me?" She asked and I did.

"Ouch. Okay, no dream. Shit, can I have some coffee, I think I'm seeing
things."

Melissa just nodded and handed her a mug. Then she looked at me and I knew
she expected an explanation. And so I told her. I told her about my sister,
how she had died and what conclusion I had come to. I told her about the
move, about school and then finally Ray. When I was done I looked at her
and hoped she would forgive me for keeping such a secret from her and I
felt Ray's hand brush against mine, and the little gesture that let me know
he was there felt really good.

Finally Melissa nodded. "I have always wondered a little about you." She
said. "I've seen all the other girls naked sometime but never you. You
always turned around and I thought you were just shy but it explains a
lot. And I can understand why you wanted to become your sister but it's
rubbish. Your parents always were a little weird but this is seriously
screwed up. I'm just glad you've come to your senses."

"That's thanks to Ray." I whispered.

"Yeah, I can see that."

"Does that mean you're gay?" Mariah asked me.

"Yes."

"Oh... oh my god, when we taught you how to suck... oh geez. And you did
it..." She blushed. "Geez, I'm sorry. It's too early in the morning to
think normally. But I can't believe I never noticed anything! We went
swimming together! You always had those sexy trunks for girls but how did
you get breasts?"

"I wore tops that hid everything and my mother bought special stuff." I
said.

"Your family is messed up." Melissa said with a nod.

"Yeah, I guess."

"So, what's the plan for the future?"

"We're going to college but me as Samuel. I'm eighteen now and even if my
parents don't agree we'll be okay." I said. Ray nodded and pulled me closer
to him.

"Aw, you were cute as a straight couple." Mariah said. "But you're even
cuter like this. Wait..." She got up and then came back with her phone and
took a picture. "Perfect." She said with a smile.

I had to explain the whole story again to the rest of the girls and was
surprised at how easily they accepted it. I guess the fact that I didn't go
for women had a big thing to do with it. If I had been straight they would
have thought I was ogling at them but since I was not everything was okay.

During the whole summer I spent almost no time at home. I was always at
Ray's apartment or working but one day my father caught me before I could
get out and told me to sit down. I was still wearing girl's clothes at home
but as soon as I got to Ray's apartment I changed. I had quite a lot of
clothes in his closet and we sometimes went to buy some more.

"Sam, I wanted to ask you about college." He said.

"Yes?"

"Are you ready for Harvard?"

"Not really."

"What do you mean?"

"I won't go to Harvard. I've applied to other colleges and I won't be
studying law."

"What?" He looked angry. "I thought we had discussed it and everything was
set. You could have gotten a great scholarship for Harvard."

"Dad, seriously, we never discussed anything. We all just assumed that I'd
be going where Lisa would have gone. But I'm not Lisa. I'm Sam. I'm Samuel,
your son."

His face hardened and became red. "You are Sam, my daughter. And you're
going to Harvard to become a lawyer."

"Dad, can you wait a minute? I'll be right back." I said and went
upstairs. There I washed off the little bit of make-up I had on and then
changed into the clothes I now wore usually. When I came back to where my
father sat I could see his body tense. "Dad, I'm Samuel, your son."

"You're not my son. Samuel killed my princess." He said and I felt like he
had just hit me, and my eyes filled with tears.

"Dad, I was six years old."

"It shouldn't have been Lisa who died."

"I know that, father. And I tried really hard to become Lisa. I probably
would have been her for much longer if I hadn't met Ray. But I can't
anymore. And I love you even if you never cared for me."

"Get out." He said calmly.

"You had two children." I said. "You had Lisa, your princess and Samuel,
your son. But from the beginning you only cared about Lisa. When she was
gone you still had a son but... now you won't have any children at all."

"Get out." He said again.

"I figured out soon that you never loved me but it still hurts. Tell mom I
love her too. And who knows, I might be back for Christmas to visit some
friends or next summer. You can call me on my phone, if you want. Goodbye,
father."

"Get out." He said the third time and his face looked like it was made of
stone. I went to my room and grabbed a few things that I needed, some
papers, my wallet, my laptop and some other things. I put them in a bag and
then went over to Ray's apartment.

"He kicked me out." I said and Ray just pulled me in a hug. "I think he
hates me for what I did to Lisa."

"You didn't do anything. It was an accident." Ray whispered.

"Yes. I don't think I'll ever hear from them again. In all these years they
never cared about me personally. Just my grades and things like that. But
it still hurts."

"I know, baby. I know." He said and I cried on his shoulder. Ray just stood
there, firm and strong, his hands on my back and his head near mine. I knew
that Ray had gone through something similar when his parents kicked him out
for being gay. After a while I finally calmed down.

"I guess now it's just the two of us." I said.

"Yes. And we will make it." He said with a smile. "We'll go to college,
live in the dorms, maybe get an apartment, then we'll graduate, get us
great jobs, live in a beautiful house, have pets and maybe kids and we'll
be together for the rest of our lives."

"Let's get a dog." I mumbled and he chuckled. "Sure. No kids?"

"I'm not sure I'm good with kids. But we'll see."

"Okay."

"Ray..."

"Hmm?"

"I really love you."

"Yeah, baby. I love you, too."

"Ray..."

"Hmm?"

"No one is perfect. Even Lisa wasn't, right?"

"Yes. You probably just didn't know. You were just a kid. But Sam..."

"Yeah?"

"You're perfect to me. We're perfect together."

"Love you."

"Mmh, love you more." Ray said and slowly led me to the bedroom.

"We'll have a perfect dog, you know?" He said.

"What's a perfect dog?"

"Not sure. But we'll have one."

I laughed. "Okay."

"You'll see." He said as he started to remove my clothes.

"Whatever. Just make love to me."

"Of course, baby." He said and kissed me.

The End of this story...


^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v


I hope you enjoyed this story. Let me know wether or not you liked it.

I also have a yahoo-group where you can read my other stories.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/azulastories

Best wishes
Azula