Date: Sun, 24 Jan 2010 22:29:23 -0800 (PST)
From: bobby williams <bobby718500@yahoo.com>
Subject: "Portraits"  Part Two

Stars Align and Sparks Fly


That Friday evening at dinner, Jenny and Shawn described the usual chaotic
funny stories from the salon that afternoon.  Lance's days at the art store
did not always have so much comic relief, but he did mention that he had
met a very impressive young man who was an architecture major at Cal
Berkeley.

"It was kind of strange.  He wandered around the store listlessly for a
while before picking out some things.  He is a clean-cut, nice looking boy
but he had sad eyes, if you know what I mean.  But then he perked up the
minute he looked at the portraits.  He wanted to know all about them."

"He probably wanted to get into Sheila's pants," Shawn joked.

"Not funny," scolded Jenny.

"Well if I remember correctly, he might have looked at your picture more.
I didn't say much about either of you, other than you were my kids.  Maybe
he was just an enlightened art lover who knows great work when he sees it!"

The topic died for the evening and the family had a quiet, peaceful Friday
evening, knowing that everyone had a long day of work the next day.
Jason's evening was quiet, as well, but anything but peaceful.  He could
not get the face in the portrait out of his mind and he kept repeating to
himself Lance's words,

"...he works here part-time and will be here tomorrow... he works here
part-time and will be here tomorrow".

The next day it took all of Jason's academic self-discipline to get three
hours of solid work done by noon.  His mind raced again with the words...

"...he works here part-time and will be here tomorrow... he works here
part-time and will be here tomorrow".

Jason ostensibly was walking to refresh his mind and to get some lunch.
But his legs took him back to the art supply store where he walked by the
front of the store looking tentatively through the glass for a glimpse of
the figure in the portrait.  Unsuccessful in this effort, he sheepishly
entered the store and migrated over to the architecture supply section,
scanning the aisles as he went.  Unsuccessful again in spotting his prey,
Jason reluctantly grabbed some miscellaneous un-needed supplies and went to
the front desk where Lance was finishing up with a customer.  If anything
the face haunted even more as he looked up at the portrait.

"Well hello there...Jason isn't it?  Welcome back!"

"Yes.  I always underestimate what I am going to need."

At that moment he heard a friendly, tenor-pitched voice from the back room
conversing with an elderly woman.  The door opened and a well-dressed,
white-haired lady held the door for someone carrying a large frame wrapped
in brown paper that hid the person's face and upper body.  They continued
out the front door to take the frame to the woman's car around the side.

"Are you sure you have everything you came for Jason?"

"Yes, I guess so..."

Before he could re-start his sentence a voice spoke out from behind,

"Dad, do you want to go to lunch first, or do you want me to?"

Jason turned around and froze in his tracks, recognizing the beautiful face
in the portrait in the flesh, even if the subject was much more
casual-looking that moment.  Shawn also stopped cold, making eye contact
with Jason and having it take his breath away at the his All-American good
looks, and beautiful smile.

"Oh Shawn, glad you are here.  This is Jason, the Cal architecture student
I was telling you about."

They nervously shook hands with tentative smiles and brief "hellos", but
they were unable to break eye contact, nor get the involuntary smiles off
their faces.  Helping out another customer, Lance saw that Shawn was
positively beaming as he looked up at the 6'1" Jason.  Jason looked
tentative but equally mesmerized.

"Shawn, why don't you take a break and go to lunch.  Take your time.  It's
not busy."

"Oh.  Okay...Well, it was nice meeting you Jason."  "Yeah, I guess it is
lunchtime."

"Shawn, since Jason is just visiting from college, maybe he'd like some
company."

"Actually maybe you could suggest a good place for lunch, I am getting
hungry."

Shawn picked up the cue saying, "Well maybe we could go together.  Ever
been to the Hobbit Hole?  Great healthy sandwiches and salads, and a nice
patio to sit on for a day like today"

"Never been there, but I would love to go!"

Mutual nervous-energy abounded as the two boys walked.  Shawn was
absolutely smitten at first sight, but was not at all sure of Jason's
preferences even though he seemed friendly.  Jason could not avoid stealing
glances at Shawn's hair that was still thick and rich, even pulled back in
a low non-descript ponytail.  Other than a single pair of gold stud
earrings, Shawn wore no accessories and looked quaint compared to the
portrait.  Yet, Jason was mesmerized by his thin androgynous body that
barely seemed to fill out his faded jeans with the cuffs rolled up and a
snug angora sweater-shirt.

The young men's enthusiasm for each other was obvious to anyone who
observed them on the patio of the Hobbit Hole.  Each held back revealing
too much, but since both were adept at using humor and sarcasm in their
conversation, conversation flowed freely.  What started with obligatory
bios, migrated to likes and dislikes of movies, music and the rest of the
usual things.  As they conversed further, transparency about their obvious
attraction began to emerge with flirtatious remarks.

"...Thanks for the compliment!  Yes, architecture is not the easiest major
but I could study for ten years and never have the creativity to design
clothes..."

"...I love historic buildings and historic styles are awesome..."

"Can't wait to move to New York...get a fresh start away from my parents,
and get paid for all the hard work..."

"I hope to NYU or at worst the Fashion Institute in the fall, but I will
actually miss my parents a bunch.  At least I might see my sister more
often..."

"If you don't mind my asking, do people give you a hard time for working at
a beauty salon, or because you want to be a fashion designer?"

"Not to my face, but I don't hang around anyone who would give me a hard
time.  Other than my family and the few friends I care about, I really
don't worry what people think."

"I should be more like you..."

"You and I are opposites.  Surprised we are having lunch...and hopefully
having fun!"

"I would not want to be anywhere else.  You have made me forget about the
project."

"I would not mind being somewhere else, but I would not want to be with
anyone else."

"Flattery will get you everywhere!"

 "So...my father said you liked the portraits in his store."

"I like all kinds of art.  His work is literal and impressionistic at the
same time.  It is cool that the works are of his children."

"You would like my sister.  She is really beautiful and the best friend
I've ever had."

"Well she looks great in the portrait.  But, your portrait is the most
interesting."

"Why?"

"I don't know, maybe because you're in it.  And now you are here with me."

Eye contact, but no words for ten seconds, as the both looked down and
fidgeted with their food, and then embarrassed smiles as they looked away.
Jason could not believe he was flirting with a boy, and doing so on
purpose; no excuses.  He had also never been more attracted to anyone in
his life.  Jason was an enigma to Shawn, a wonderful, princely enigma.
Shawn could sense that Jason was attracted to him, but he also sensed
nervous hesitancy.

"Too bad you have to work on your project all week."

"Well, better to get it over with."

"If...if you get some down-time let me know.  Maybe we could go do
something together."

 "Well sure, but you probably have a fully-booked social calendar anyway."

"Right!  Truthfully, I have exactly nothing planned this weekend or next
week other than my indentured servitude to my parents' salon and art store.
Maybe we could go something tonight."

"That sounds great...  Oh shoot, I almost forgot about the reunion party
for a bunch of my high school classmates.  We do it every spring break.
But, I don't need..."

"Yes, you do!  These people may still be friends 30 years from now.  You
need to go!"

"Yeah, you're probably right.  Uh...could you do something tomorrow night?
I mean if you want to or don't have plans or whatever."

"Yes!  Done deal!  It's a date; but only if you promise me you will make
headway on the project.  I refuse otherwise.  I will check in with you
tomorrow, and if you haven't done at least 20% of it, I will withhold my
company, hard as that would be to do."

"Okay, when you put it like that, I have to work hard tomorrow."

"Right! Work hard tomorrow, have fun tomorrow night!  I'll think of
something fun."

It had been 1 ½ hours since they left the store, so reluctantly Shawn ended
their dialogue which otherwise might have never ended.  The boys exchanged
contact numbers and walked back to the store adrenalin flowing and
uncontrolled smiles.

At the door, they awkwardly shook hands and said their goodbyes.  The smile
on Shawn's face told Lance everything he needed to know about how the lunch
went and how his intuition about Jason had been correct.

First Dates

A good thing about Sunday nights is that restaurants are not usually
crowded.  This was helpful because Shawn knew he and Jason would be able to
eat at his favorite eclectic sushi restaurant on the outskirts of the
Castro district with no waiting.  He had text messaged Jason from the salon
after lunch to "make sure" he was working on his project.

Receiving an affirmative response, Shawn told Jason to meet him at the
restaurant at 7:30 PM.  Now even though the salon had limited hours on
Sundays, it was quite busy this day, and Shawn was kept busy all afternoon
helping his mother and Josh with clients.

At about 4:30 PM the last client had left and Josh impishly grabbed Shawn's
arms from behind and pulled him back to the shampooing station where Jenny
was waiting and laughing.

"No arguments, sweetie!  Your mother and I are going to make you look hot
for your hot date tonight!"

"Are you crazy?  I don't want to look so wild I scare him off!"

"You couldn't scare anyone if you tried!  But from all appearances, your
Jason is smitten with the person in Lance's portrait.  Don't you think we
should make you look like that?"

Jenny said nothing to either agree or disagree with Josh's logic; which
Shawn interpreted as meaning that she agreed with Josh.  So Shawn
tentatively lowered himself into the chair to allow Josh and Jenny to help
him look good for his outing with Jason.

While Josh applied scented hot towels to his face, Jenny washed and
conditioned his hair.  She then expertly used a dryer and brushed his hair
straight down to its full length.  Cutting the ends just a little, she
evened out the cut into a common length that just touched his shoulders.
Using a hot iron she added gentle waves to the lower third of his hair.
She then used the brush and hair dryer to radiate the hair around his face
outward leaving a generous quantity of hair angling across his forehead.
Really not an outlandish style for Shawn; but certainly more elaborate than
the day he met Jason at the art store.

Now it was Josh's turn to work his makeup magic.  He started off by
carefully shaving Shawn's limited facial hair, taking care to trim his
sideburns above the hair on the side of his face.  After that Josh applied
some moisturizing cream all over Shawn's face and let it absorb for five
minutes.

As to makeup, Josh knew that with a naturally attractive face like Shawn's
sometimes "less is more".  Thus, Josh only lightly applied foundation with
a hint of glitter to Shawn's cheeks and forehead to add contrast and leave
a slight glimmer in the light.  He then expertly refined Shawn's eyebrows
with tweezers, enhanced his eyelashes with an eyelash curler and added a
modest amount of eye liner and mascara.

The end result was tasteful and comparatively subtle.  In fact, from
further than ten feet it was not obvious that Shawn was wearing makeup, but
with it his striking features would project from across a room.

After resting for an hour at home, Shawn picked out assorted items from his
favorite designers, including tan low-cut designer denims, a scarlet knit
shirt with sleeves that ended just below the elbows and an oversized knit
grey sweater that he left loosely tied in front with its sash.  As a
finishing touch he added a belt, lace-up boots that covered his calves, and
a shoulder bag made out of compatible brown leather.

Jenny looked in on him and complimented his choices and while Shawn picked
out a matching bracelet and necklace set with rainbow colored stones, Jenny
retrieved her favorite Gucci scarf, which she tied around Shawn's shoulders
like a shawl under his sweater.  Shawn decided that he already had enough
color on by now, so he opted for simple rhinestone stud earrings.

A few miles away, Jason spent the day with nearly zero time worrying about
what he was going to wear that evening.  Happily, he had enjoyed seeing is
old high school friends the night before even though his thoughts kept
reverting to excitement at seeing Shawn the next day.  He also had had a
very productive six to seven hours of work on his project, motivated by
Shawn's text messages.

After going for a jog, Jason showered and began deciding what to wear.  For
him, it was only a question of casual or dressy casual, because entire
wardrobe seemed to have been acquired from the Ralph Lauren collection,
with a few Lacoste items thrown in.  Jason ended up opting for pleated
khakis, a long sleeve blued shirt and a red plaid sweater vest.  After
adding a camel hair blazer, Jason looked like he came from one of Ralph's
ads.

For both of them, the restaurant was quickly accessible by public transport
but at Lance's insistence, Shawn let his father drive him in the family
car.  Jason, in turn, drove his BMW 335 convertible that had been his high
school graduation present from his indulgent parents.  Jason arrived first
in the stylish and cozy eatery and was greeted by an attractive Asian in
her mid-30's who directed Jason to their table along the back wall.  Not
too much later, Jason recognized (barely) Shawn as he entered and the
hostess warmly embraced and made small talk.

Jason's stomach already had a knot in from seeing how amazing Shawn looked
from across the room. While Shawn's attire was technically casual, from
head to toe, his overall appearance was so immaculate.  Connecting with
Jason's eyes Shawn smiled broadly and briefly waved as he approached with a
confident strut.

Jason got up to greet Shawn and they simultaneously shook hands and
awkwardly patted each other on the back before sitting across from each
other.  Shawn was equally enchanted by Jason's rugged GQ looks, and tried
be avoid being obvious as he inspected Jason's muscular physique, handsome
face and wavy dark hair with repeated glances.

Both boys silently allowed themselves to be flattered that their respective
dinner companion had taken the time to look their best, while also telling
themselves to "remain calm" and "don't be too pushy".  After a few awkward
moments they fell into relaxed conversation both employing their witty,
sarcastic style.

"This place looks cool!"

"I hope you like it after you actually eat and have to spend time with me.
If it is okay, why don't we let Mina...you know, the owner...just serve us
a series of small portions of different things."

"Well, the food sampling strategy sounds great, and if I wasn't interested
in spending time with you I wouldn't be here."

"So tell me how the party was last night.  Did you knock-up your class
homecoming queen or anything?"

"Hardly, it was more guys than girls...you know...guys I played sports with
or had classes with.  It was fun, but mostly because I can actually see
everybody maturing in their own way as we are getting older.  Actually, in
school we all seemed alike, now everyone seems to be different...but a good
different."

"Actually that does sound like a good time.  Well, (sarcastically)last
night for me was more of the usual, hanging out on street corners looking
to turn tricks.  And of course, I watched re-runs of Miami Vice with my
parents."

After Shawn's comment, both of them laughed out loud for the first of many
times that evening.  There was a small fireplace nearby them so Jason rose
up and took off his blazer and turned put it on a hook.  Shawn visualized
being in Jason's strong arms as he stretched to remove the coat.  Shawn
followed suit, removing his oversized sweater, and as he reached up to hang
it on the hook, his shirt pulled up revealing his pierced belly within two
feet of Jason's face.

In several stages, Mina served an incredible assortment of edibles and
Japanese beer to her slightly underage friend Shawn and his handsome new
friend. At various points she noted their dialogue about some project, the
drama queens that frequented Shawn's mother's salon and or reciting each
others' favorite music groups.

As eleven o'clock came and went, Mina was amused to see the boys leaning
across the table in rapt conversation nursing the last of several beers,
while all the other patrons had come and gone.  Shawn noted that Mina was
trying to get ready to close relatively soon since it was Sunday night.

"Well, it looks like we are going to get the hook pretty soon."

"Wow, time flies when you are having fun!"

"Well it flies when you are having fun and are with someone special."

"Well, uh...thank you.  I feel the same way."

"Do you now?  Well no matter.  I do want to tell you before we go that you
look great tonight."

"Oh, well thanks, but this is just my typical Ralph Lauren uniform."

"No, your clothes are fine, but I meant as in I am saying you look great
tonight.  As in I am saying that I find you attractive...and also
spellbinding to talk to."

"Well I don't know what to say..."

Well it may be forward of me, but to avoid any confusion, I am gay and I
won't deny that I would really like to get to know you a lot better."

"I'm sorry to be so evasive.  You look awesome tonight and you are the most
intriguing person I have ever met.  Everything about you is awesome and
unique...your hair, your face, your makeup, your jewelry, your clothes,
your voice.  I love talking to you, and you have all I have been able to
think about since I met you...actually even before when I saw your
portrait.  But..."

"But...?"

"But the idea of being with a guy is pretty new to me.  I'm confused and
truthfully scared."

"Well when you look at me, you don't seem too confused to me, but I will
take your word for it.  Are you scared of being gay, or of being ostracized
by society, or pissing off your family?"

"All of the above."

`Well, I guess I am lucky to have never been confused and to have a family
that never made me feel anything but loved.  So I gather you have never
been with a boy at all?"

"I didn't say that.  You see last Christmas break..."

"Stop!  I don't need the gory details.  Just tell me I have nothing to be
jealous about!"

"Hardly, this is completely different.  I am just confused about how I feel
when we are together and not sure what to do about it."

"Well if I have a vote, I say we continue to get to know each other and see
if your confusion fades, either way.  But I will warn you that I am not
interested in being an experiment for you before you go back to some
girlfriend, or a one-time opportunity to get your rocks off with a guy."

"I swear it's not like that.  If it was I would not be having such
anxiety."

"How about we put your anxiety on hold and we go do something outdoors
tomorrow afternoon?  The weather is supposed to be nice.  In fact let me
plan it!  But only if you work on your project in the morning."

Jason found himself nodding in agreement, even as he knew that spending
more time with Shawn was only going to break down his resistance further.
However, for all his anxiety, a rush of excitement filled him at the
prospect of seeing Shawn again.

More Confusion

Shawn got up the next morning in the best of moods and worked out at the
gym. Before leaving the gym, Shawn and Jason had the following text message
exchange,

"You better be working your ass off or I will come over there and kick it."

"Yeah?  I'd like to see you try."

"Be careful what you wish for; you might just get it!"

"Seriously, I have been working hard and things are actually going great!
I can't wait to go.  What should I wear?"

"Everything is on an improved trail so comfortable clothes and anything
from tennis shoes to boots.  It does get chilly late afternoon because the
sunlight cannot get through so bring some layers."

"Got it!  What are you going to wear?"

"Oh, are you worried I will dress so wild you won't want to be seen with me
in public?"

"No just the opposite.  It is not possible for you to dress too wild for
me."

"Like I said, be careful what you ask for, you might just get it!"

With that encouragement, Shawn went to a trendy store and bought a
camouflage combination including camo Crocs, capri pants, a sleeveless
V-neck drab green shirt with a gold star on the front, and a long sleeve
shirt.

Jason arrived at Shawn's place just before noon and smiled and nodded as he
absorbed Shawn's look.  Shawn had pulled his hair into a pony-tail pulled
through the back of his hat and the long sleeve shirt was tied around his
waist leaving his midriff showing.  Shawn wore no makeup besides eyeliner
and mascara and wore bead earrings which had a small feather at the bottom
of each strand.

Shawn sensed he had "passed" Jason's visual inspection and Jason looked
handsome in his LL Bean combination.  Jason took the convertible top down
since it was a pretty day.  After crossing the Golden Gate Bridge, the boys
stopped at a restaurant in Sausalito with deck seating on the bay.  They
had excellent tuna steak sandwiches and chips as they watched the sailboats
cruise by and the ferry boats deliver people back and forth from San
Francisco, Alcatraz and Sausalito.

Several at the restaurant had noticed the handsome boy walk in with an
angular companion wearing designer camouflage.  While the locals paid no
mind, a number of tourists glanced over multiple times after realizing was
two boys engaged in intensely attentive dialogue that could not be confused
with being just friends.

Exiting Sausalito, the winding road up the mountain and back into the
valley was made for Jason's convertible and Shawn loved the breeze blowing
in his face as they drove.  Even on a spring Monday, the Muir Woods
National Monument had its customary abundant crowd.  Between apathetic
parents and too many athletic commitments, Jason had never experienced the
serene majesty of this forest of giant redwoods.  As a proponent of
historical preservation he was captivated by the history of the park and
lamented to learn that it was one of few places left where redwoods were in
abundance.

Shawn escorted Jason along the trail that went along each side of the small
river stopping to read the explanatory signs and stopping to take pictures
with his red Coolpix camera.  On some of the more dramatic spots he asked
Jason to stand by the massive trees to give the pictures perspective.  They
took turns taking pictures of each other, and when a friendly tourist was
nearby, they had pictures made standing together.

They took nearly three hours to peacefully make the highly improved
circular path most visitors take.  Shawn had avoided anything too overt
but, he was also being flirty at the same time.  When he would talk to
Jason, he would lightly put his hand on his arm or lower back.

Shawn tended to walk shoulder-to-shoulder at close proximity to Jason.
Ever the flirt, Shawn bent over to point to some flowers and lingered there
leaving his bubble butt pointing right at Jason and showing the beautiful
patch of olive skin on his lower back.  That, day Jason found great beauty
in nature as well as in this beguiling boy named Shawn.

Leaving Muir Woods around 4:30 PM, Shawn directed Jason to continue on the
road they had arrived on instead of going back the way they came.  This led
them to Muir Beach which was also one of Shawn's favorite outdoor places to
visit.  Jason had been to California beaches before, but not this majestic
shore, unspoiled by development.  They bundled up against the chilly breeze
and had a peaceful walk down the beach.

They came across and climbed up a ridge about fifteen feet to a flat rock
where they could watch the sunset over the Pacific horizon.  Jason had
never felt so relaxed in his life and he knew whom he should be grateful
to.  Similarly, far from being a distraction, Shawn's encouragement had
helped him to be almost finished with his project.  He felt really lucky
that Shawn had continued to be interested in him despite how hesitant he
had been.  He was sure that Shawn had many guys throwing themselves at his
feet.

The horizon got more spectacular as they watched the sun slowly disappear.
It also became cooler quickly and Shawn began to noticeably shiver and
wiggle his legs to keep warm.  Sensing this, Jason pulled his oversized
jacket open and pulled Shawn close under his arm.  It felt so good for both
boys to be touching but Shawn actually got up first saying they should
leave before it got dark.

Climbing up rocks is easier than climbing down and near the bottom there
was a fairly high final rock to descend.  Jason went first and having
longer legs jumped down rather easily.  Shawn hesitated at the height and
Jason came to the rock and held out his arms and beckoned Shawn to jump.
Shawn's fall was cushioned by Jason's strong hands around his midsection,
but as Jason took a step back he stumbled on a piece of driftwood, and fell
backwards pulling Shawn on top of him.

After initially both laughing, Shawn made no move to get up or move his
hands off Jason's shoulders and Jason's hands remained around Shawn's ribs.
After looking in each other's eyes for several seconds, Shawn leaned down
and gently kissed Jason on the lips.  Jason did not resist and they began
to tentatively explore each other's mouths with their tongues and began
holding each other tighter.

The magic was broken by the laughter of an elderly couple walking their dog
about twenty yards away.  The man called out, "Hey!  Why don't you guys get
a room?"  They muttered judgmental comments obnoxiously as they continued
on their walk.

Shawn was oblivious to the comment and was anxious to continue where they
had left off.  But Jason was spooked and abruptly nudged Shawn off of him
and stood up and walked to the car, putting up the convertible top before
he got in.  Shawn followed and got in the passenger side.  Jason seemed
less agitated, but still somber as he started the engine.

"Come on.  Let's go.  It's getting dark."

"All right...But what's wrong?  It was just a couple of blue-hairs."

"No nothing is...well the truth is that comment is exactly something like
my father would say.  In fact, it kind of sounded like him.  The thought of
my parents walking up right then and seeing us sent shivers down my spine."

"That's too bad.  My parents would be high-fiving if they saw you and me
kissing."

"Look I am sorry to be a downer.  I told you I was confused, and I feel
almost guilty when I am with you having such a great time."

"Well it is my fault.  I should not have kissed you...it just happened.  It
won't happen again, if that what's you want.  But I hope you still had a
good time today."

"Today was one of the best days I can ever recall.  And I did not say I
minded our kiss.  In fact, I loved it...probably too much for my own good."

"Oh!  Well in that case, please let me know when it is okay to kiss you
again, because I can't wait!  But in the meantime, I don't want you to feel
like I am pressuring you."

The rest of the drive back to San Francisco was uneventful and the traffic
from wine country visitors was manageable.  It was after 9:00 PM before
they arrived at Shawn's house.  Shawn invited Jason in to say hello to
Lance and meet Jenny.  Jenny met them at the door and was her usual bubbly
self and insisted on bringing Jason a beverage.

As they walked into the family room, Lance was intently watching a program
that had the VH1 logo in the corner of the screen with the sounds of Pink
Floyd in the background.  On the program, a grey-haired Roger Waters and
balding David Gilmour were describing the making of "Dark Side of the Moon"
against flashbacks to home movies of the original recording sessions.

"Oh, I don't need to watch this right now, come in!"

"No leave it on.  I love Pink Floyd!"

Jason and Shawn sat on a small love seat, and the four of them watched the
last twenty minutes of the show which included a scene where modern-day
Waters and Gilmour demonstrated some of their signature sounds from the
album.  It was quite interesting for even a casual fan of rock music.

"Jason, dad can play Pink Floyd on the guitar."

"Now Shawn, that is a bit of an exaggeration."

But Shawn went to the other room and returned with Lance's 30 year old
Guild that he had played in many coffee houses in his college days.  With a
nod from Jenny, Lance began a fairly good imitation of the signature riff
from "Wish You Were Here" and began to softly sing the verses...

      So, so you think you can tell, Heaven from Hell, blue skies from
pain.
          Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?  A smile from
a veil?
          Do you think you can tell?.............

When the song progressed to the chorus Lance nodded to Jenny and Shawn and
they joined in the singing.  Shawn gently placed his hand on Jason's thigh
and looked up at Jason as he sang in a sweet tenor...

 How I wish, how I wish you were here.  We're just two lost souls swimming
in a fish bowl, year after year.  Running over the same old ground; What
have you found?  The same old fears.  Wish you were here......

As the song ended, there was an awkward silence as the family was mildly
embarrassed to have broken out in singing around a guest.  However, Jason
was stunned because: (1) Shawn, Jenny and Lance had sang a beautiful song
beautifully; (2) He could not ever remember singing in his house, even
lullabies; and (3) That when Shawn had place his hand on his thigh, Jason
had instinctively placed his on top.  Now that the music had stopped he
realized that he and Shawn were holding hands.

After some additional friendly dialogue, everyone decided to call it a
night.  Before leaving Jason needed to use the bathroom.  As he walked down
the hall, he passed all of Lance's previous portraits of Jenny and Shawn.
As with the portrait he had seen in the art supply store, Jason admired
Lance's artistic style on both children's portraits.  But as he studied
Shawn's portraits carefully, he realized that he would have eight more
visual images that would keep him awake that night.

Shawn walked Jason to the door, conflicted by his intensifying affection
for Jason, offset by his sense of Jason's hesitancy.  He wanted to throw
himself at Jason, but Shawn knew he should keep his guard up.  He had known
several gay friends that had their hearts broken by falling for straight
guys or married men who swore that they were leaving their wives.

"Thanks for coming in and visiting with my parents.  I know they like you."

"It was fun.  They don't seem like parents to me.  They seem more like
friends."

"Well they are my friends.  Now they're your friends too.  But they
definitely can act like parents when the situation calls for it."

"My parents are only parents to me.  They might even be good parents.  At
least, I think they mean well.  But they are definitely not my friends."

"Well, I'm your friend.  And I'll be a lot more if you would like."

"I would be lucky to be more than friends with you!"

"Well, you need to go home, get a good night's sleep, work on your project,
and then decide if you want to be lucky!  But don't feel like you need to
call me or go out with me if you are not sure about yourself.  In fact, I
would rather you not."

Jason was about to respond, but Shawn pressed his index finger to his lips
first.  He then gave Jason a brief hug, opened the door and summarily
nudged him out the door.  Shawn had just had one of the greatest days of
his life with Jason.  He hoped it was not the end of the story, but he was
preparing himself for such an outcome.

Jason had also never had a more enjoyable day, yet he felt he might lose
Shawn if he did not get over his hang-ups.  Jason thought about the
portraits in the hallway on his way home and replayed their brief kiss over
and over as he fell asleep.