Date: Mon, 25 Oct 1999 19:11:58 +0100
From: Alexander Mcarthur <angel@alex-net.freeserve.co.uk>
Subject: Protection Chapter 2

Protection Chapter 2   by    Angel Alexander
angel@alex-net.freeserve.co.uk

This is a work of fiction. It is based on my life in a twisted surreal way. It
is my first story but I had to write it at one point, now seems as good a time
as any. If you have any comments please let me know.


The dying sunlight filtering into my bedroom, blinding me as I sat up suddenly.
I had been woken prematurely. I took me a few moments to register what had
happened. "Come in." I called standing up.
Ben walked in. He looked stunning. He had put gel in his hair, I think. It could
be seen as the light reflected off it. His eyes were dancing; I had previously
thought them black, but now. Their seemed to be an almost navy tint to them,
again only as they caught the light. His skin was like fresh snow through a
myopic gaze. He stared at me for a moment. He looked away. "I'm sorry," I said,
" I fell asleep, I'll be ready in a few."

"It's fine, I thought for a moment you had changed your mind." He was still
averting his gaze as he spoke.

"You can look at me, I won't bite you, I don't think," As I said this I was
tilting my head, trying to look at his face but only seeing his perfect profile,
soft and yet strong. He seemed to take a breath. He turned, smiling meekly at
me. My sister stormed in.

"What can I wear," she blurted out, glanced at Ben, staring at me, and then to
myself, standing in my underwear. A grin crept across her face. "Is this an
inopportune moment by any chance?" I think my entire body, not just my face,
became a very unflattering crimson shade.

"What exactly are you getting at?" My tone was curt.

"Just being amusing, I seen to have failed though," Her response was equally
curt. "But back to me, what am I going to wear. I mean, I can't look to
stunning, which will be very difficult, I don't want any of that sort of
attention, at the same time though I don't want to look like a tramp." Her voice
carried an almost singsong quality to it.

Ben looked rather confused. "What do you mean 'that sort of attention'?"

"Look, I'd better be getting ready, see you." There was panic in my sister's
voice, her foot in there and stuck, the previous melody gone, as she ran out of
my bedroom as suddenly as she had arrived.

"Ben," I said softly, turning to face him. "Come and sit down," As he moved over
and sat on my bed facing me I continued to speak. "I should have told you this
before. I don't know why right enough, but I think I should have." I couldn't
bring myself to look at him, I knew he was gay, he had to be, but still I
couldn't look at his face.

"What's wrong, why won't you look at me?" he asked with deep concern, "What have
I done?"

I lost my temper," Would you just listen to me, this isn't about you," I slowly
started to cry as I finished the sentence. I hadn't cried since he held..... It
had been a while. "I'm gay." It came out so softly through the tears. He got up
and walked over to the window, I reached after him my hand stretched out,
knowing I wasn't going to catch him. My fingers motioning in mid air, grasping
aimlessly at it. What had I done?

"I can't believe it." His voice was full of emotion as he spoke, I couldn't make
out what type but there was shock. I had stopped crying I just stopped dead
staring at him, and I had stepped out of time. I must have been wrong about him.
It was his turn to cry. He turned to me. His face was red as the water streamed
down his cheeks. He was smiling. A wide open smile. He rushed over to the bed
and knelt down in front of me. His hand touched my smooth white face I shivered;
it had been as though it was the first time anyone had touched me. His grip was
firm but gentle and caring. "I've waited a life time." He said. "I knew it would
happen, I've been waiting so long. I've been dreaming about someone saying that
to me. To say it out loud, to give me the confidence, I'm gay." His outburst
seemed to contain laughter. "For the first time I feel clean. As though I've
been brought back into the world afresh" His hand had now moved onto my rippling
torso, curving round it slim side, his fingers skimming the toned muscle. I
grabbed hold of him and held him close for a few moments.

I finally began to speak again. "The loneliness is gone," His hands were
delicately stroking my broad shoulders. I embraced him fully. Feeling the warmth
of another man in such away for the first time is something I will never forget.
The jigsaw piece had been found, then he pulled away. For a moment I had seen my
God, I knew what to believe in, the moment was gone in mist of time.

"What has this got to do with what your sister was saying?" He asked, shooting
me a quizzical look.

"We're going to a gay bar." I blurted out, my stare hitting the floor as my face
acquired an evil twisted grin.

"Well you'd better get ready, hadn't you," His tone was patronising; though I
thought I detected a hint of nerves. I responded with a fake hurt look and
plodded around my room looking for cloths, while instructing him how to make a
fake ID. I had gathered some items of clothing and was standing looking in the
mirror.

"What should I wear?" I said in the most whinging tone you can imagine.
He spun round on the chair to face me.

"Well let me see," He said, "A fantastic slim body, well defined muscles,
exceptional skin and my god what a package. Yeah that would do fine." The
expression on his face was dead serious. He burst out laughing. My jaw was
resting on my chest; I was lost for words. "The tight black trousers, with that
gorge shiny silver top with the bottom few buttons undone, you'll look
stunning." The laughter was still radiating through him. I simply nodded and
started to dress. As I finished my sister returned, peaking round the door
before entering.

"I everything okay?" She asked looking directly at nobody.

"No, it's a complete disaster!" I exclaimed staring at her.

"Why, What? I don't understand." She gasped. Sounding as though the world had
been given two minutes to live.

"You. I can't believe you." I spoke in my most appalled tone. "You're wearing
exactly the same as I am." I continued my voice now rather mocking.

"You little cow!" She lunged for me, knocking me onto the bed, pinning me down.
"You had me really worried, you two are fine aren't you?

"But of course," I said with a broad smile as I walked over to Ben after she had
let me go. He was facing me as I picked him up and hugged him, angel kissing
him. He couldn't contain his laughter and had to pull away.

"Oh, dear God, that's all I needed to be subjected to." Angelica spoke in a
rather too interested tone,
"Next thing I'll be hearing is that you two are an item." She paused, "By the by
I've ordered a taxi, it should be here very soon, so hurry up!"

Sure enough as we finished off getting ready a horn was heard from outside. We
bundled out.

I sat in the car my face was pressed up against the window. I focused on the
glass; my face stared back at me. I could see my rounded white reflection; my
eyes were hollow, just black voids allowing me to see the streets we were
driving through. There had been a sudden down pour and the rain lashed
relentlessly against the unsheltered streets. I questioned myself. I felt as
though I had taken a rather large step today, but what had I really
accomplished? I had told someone I was gay, so were they and lets face it, he
wasn't going to tell anyone. I had to. I was sick of guarding myself, sick of
hiding away inside the person I was projecting for the world to see. "I'm going
to tell them!" I exclaimed as Angelica and Ben suddenly stared at me. The
statement wasn't supposed to be audible, but hey. "I'm going to tell them at
school I'm gay." I had a sudden flash of reality, "Or at least I'm not going to
lie about it anymore." My face felt expressionless as I spoke. "Will you help
me?"

"As long as you're sure I will. Give it a day or two, just to make sure you can
handle it, please?" My sister sounded as though she was pleading with me.

"I'll think it over, I will be careful." Speaking slowly I mulled it over for a
while, in the silence of the car.

Ben was heard, interrupting my chain of thought. "I'll help you, you helped me I
want to do the same."
There was a lot of consideration as he spoke. I didn't understand what he meant
by 'do the same' but I thanked him regardless.