Date: Thu, 30 Mar 2000 00:31:22 EST
From: Double A
Subject: Raven Hair(17)

Disclaimer:

     After a hiatus of sorts, I am back with another story! Yay!
Anyway, due to personal problems, I've been unable/unwilling to write much
of anything for a long time. Here is a new story from me to you. For those
of you who know my style and enjoy it, you should really like this
one. Like I said, though, I haven't written anything for a while, so I may
be a bit rusty. For those who don't know my style, I tend to use a lot of
build-up and "storyline".  So, if you came on to find a story for a quick
jack-off, then this probably ain't for you. However, if you want to take
the time to read a beautiful tale of young love, then sit back, take a sip
from your glass of wine, and enjoy!

And remember...Always stand up for what you think is right, don't listen to
bullshit, no matter who is saying it, and always speak with your fists and
swear a lot to be heard!

******************

Part 17:

	When David arrived in Vancouver, it was June 26, 1997. He was
really depressed, but very hopefully for the future. After all, he was 3000
kilometres away from Aaron and living with his dad, a guy that he had been
trying to live with for the past seven years.

	Him, his father and his pregnant step-mother spent the whole summer
getting him set up and ready to begin school. David was happy with the way
things were going. They lived in a small community and he had already met a
really nice kid. He was also a really cute kid, but the thing was that he
was 10, and he didn't dare bring up to anybody that he had sexual
fantasies about a young, prepubescent boy.

	So, his dad took him into downtown Surrey, the city they lived in,
and got him a bank account, showed him the school that he would be going to
in the fall, and generally introduced him to the lower mainland of BC.

	They lived in a small district of Surrey, called
Cloverdale. Cloverdale was quite hick, and had a small main street, which
was occupied by mostly pawn shops and restaurant/tobacco stores that were
quite popular in poor areas.  People tended to walk around in white
undershirts, which, by this point, had just acquired the rather distasteful
slang term of `wifebeater'. Basically, David's father told him
that the main thing he wanted to remember was to never tell anybody that he
was Jewish.

	David began biking around Cloverdale, and into the nearby town of
Langley, every day and, by the time August rolled around, he had lost a bit
of weight and actually looked pretty trim. David was very excited to be
starting school, because everybody that he'd met in Cloverdale seemed
like really nice people. David was originally from BC, but had spent so
long in Montreal, that he wasn't used to people who all talked English,
said hi to you on the street, and actually walked around with a smile on
their face.  The school would be filled with the kids of all the people in
Cloverdale, so if David ended up making any friends, they would all live
nearby.

	On August 27th, 1997, David woke up in an extremely good mood. He
packed his backpack and got on his bike. He was too excited to even eat
breakfast.  When he arrived at the school, he pulled his bike into the rack
and looked around. BC schools were, at that time, really overcrowded, so
literally over 3000 kids went to Lord Tweedsmuir Secondary.

	"Wow." David thought to himself as he locked up his bike,
`There sure are a lot of people here."

	David began to feel a bit nervous, however he gathered his
confidence and made his way into the school. He'd already been mailed
his schedule, so he knew exactly which class he had first...Math. He headed
up to the third floor and entered the room number that his schedule had
listed.

	The room was full of people talking and making all sorts of
noise. David looked around the room and, while he didn't find any cute
guys, he was happy to see that everybody seemed really friendly and he
should have no trouble making friends. That nervous feeling in his stomach,
though, was beginning to make him feel kind of sick and he willed for it to
go away, but it just wouldn't.

	After several minutes of waiting in the classroom, the teacher
arrived and began his lesson. David tried his best to listen to him, but
that feeling in his stomach was getting so bad that David was actually on
the verge of crying.

	"This school is too big." His mind was saying, "I've
been here for too long, and when the day's over, I have to come back
again tomorrow and the next day and the next day. It'll never end!
I'm going to be lost! Nobody cares about me! I want to go home to dad! I
want to sit on the couch and watch movies with dad, like I was doing this
summer. I don't want to go to school! I can't! I'll have no free
time anymore!"

	David tried his best to fight the feelings, but they just kept
getting worse. He didn't know why he felt this way, but he knew that he
had to get out of there right now.

	"Excuse me, sir!" David said, raising his hand, "I need to
get a drink of water!"

	"I don't normally let students leave the classroom while
I'm teaching, Mr.  Levine." the teacher replied.

	"I know!" David answered, "But I really, really need
water. I don't feel so well."

	"Very well. You may go."

	So, David quickly got up and ran from the classroom, down the
hallway.  However, he didn't stop at the water fountain, instead he ran
right into the boy's bathroom and vomited into the toilet.

	"What the heck is wrong with me?" David thought, then quickly
replied to himself, "I need to get out of here."

	David felt, though, that he needed to finish at least that
class. "I'll go to the nurse after this class." He told himself,
"Just let me do this class and then I'll go home."

	So, David returned to the class and tried his hardest to control
the feeling of panic that was tearing up his insides like tissue paper. He
tried hard to listen to the teacher, but he just couldn't
concentrate. "I need to get out!" David screamed in his mind, "I
need to get out NOW!"

	David could no longer take it. It was only twenty minutes in the
class and he felt as if the walls were closing in on him.

	"I need to go to the office!" David said, raising his hand
again, "I'm feeling really sick."

	The teacher took a deep breath and said, "Can't it wait until
after class?"

	David actually began crying, and begged, "Please?"

	The students were now staring at him, as the teacher waved his hand
toward the door and the now-sobbing teenager scurried from the classroom.

	As soon as he left the class, his crying stopped and he, once
again, questioned exactly what his problem was. What was going on here? Why
could he suddenly not attend school.

	Then he realized it...Aaron wasn't at Lord Tweedsmuir. "Am I
really as pathetic as Aaron said I was?" David asked himself, "Do I
really *need* Aaron?"

	That thought caused David to burst into tears again and he nodded
his head and thought to himself, "Yes! Oh god, I fucking miss my
Aaron."

	David knew that Aaron hated him, but he wanted Aaron's presence
all the same. He needed Aaron and now he was 3000 kilometres away from him
and it was this that tore him up inside.

	As he approached the office, he shook his head, tears still flowing
down his cheeks, and said to himself, "David, you are truly a loser. You
have an amazing situation here. You got kids who might actually like
you. You're living in a complete family again, with a father and a
female figure. You're going to have a new baby half-sister in a few
months and, most of all, you're making a new start. All this, and
you're still in love with a guy who not only lied to you for two years,
but goes out of his way to insult you, make you cry, and tell you how much
he hates you. Aaron hates you, David, and you need to get over him and face
your bright future in this beautiful province."

	You just couldn't do it, though. David knew that he just
couldn't live without seeing Aaron.

	"Yeah, I'd like to go home." David told the woman at the
office window.

	"Why?" She inquired, "School only just began."

	David shrugged, "I'm feeling really sick. I shouldn't have
come to school today, and I want to go home."

	She shrugged and pushed the phone toward him, "If one of your
parents allows it, you are free to leave."

	David nodded and picked up the phone. Both his dad and step-mom
were at work and his step-mom would be the easiest one to reach, but he
knew that she wouldn't let him come home, so he called his dad.

	David's father was a Corporal in the Royal Canadian Mounted
Police, the federal police force for Canada. It always gave him a special
thrill to tell the secretary at the RCMP station in Langley, "Yes,
I'd like to speak to Corporal Levine, please."

	His dad was very rarely at his desk and it gave David another
thrill when she had to call him on the radio and tell him, "Corporal
Levine, please respond. Your son is on the phone."

	When they were able to reach his dad, David told him that he was
feeling sick and asked if he could come home. As David expected, his father
was really quick to tell him that he if wasn't feeling well, he was free
to return home. David's father really loved him.

	So, getting back on his bike, David biked home and, just like he
wanted, he sat on the couch and watched movies. At 5 in the evening, after
watching movies all day, David heard the door open and David saw his
father, still wearing the grey and blue of the RCMP, walk in.

	"I just came by for supper, but then I gotta go until 8. How are
you feeling?"

	David shrugged, "I'm feeling a bit better, dad. I dunno, I
was feeling really panicky today."

David's father patted him on the head and then kissed his forehead,
before replying, "That's to be expected. It being your first day and
all. You'll try again tomorrow."

	When David's step-mother returned from work that evening, she
was not too pleased to learn that David came home early. She gave David and
her husband a piece of her mind, then told David that he needs to just ride
out the panic, if he ever feels it.

	So, the next day, David went to school and sat in his first class,
English, this time. The panic, once again, welled up in him and he had to
leave, again in tears. However, when he went to the office to call his dad,
his father told him, this time, that he needed to try and stay at school
for the day and ride out his nervousness.

	David knew that he couldn't go back to class, so, instead, he
went to see the school counsellor, a woman by the name of Anne Macleod. He
sat in her office for two hours and explained how he felt. He even told her
about his relationship with Aaron and how he felt that this was the cause
of his panic. She listened to him intently and told him that he should try
and return to his next class now and, also, not bring up his `belief of
homosexuality', as she put it, to anybody in the school.

	David did go to the next class and, this time, he almost didn't
make it to the bathroom, before he threw up. He went back and told Anne
Macleod what had happened and, with a grim face, she shook her head and
called David's step-mother.

	"Ms. Levine," she said to him, "this is Anne Macleod from
David's school.  He's in my office right now and had several vomiting
episodes today. He seems to burst into tears whenever he's in class and,
according to him, he is feeling a very severe form of panic...almost a
phobia. He doesn't seem able to return to class today. I suggest he come
to school tomorrow and I monitor him."

	David's step-mother seemed to agree with the idea, so, despite
her growing impatience with David, David was sent home from school
again. That evening, the three of them sat down at the kitchen table and
David's father looked at him and said, "David, what's going on
here? You have to go to school."

	"I know!" David replied, "I really want to go to school,
but I just can't!"

	"Yes you can!" David's step-mother replied, "You just
don't want to. Lots of kids feel that way, but you just have to go to
school and that's it."

	So, day three came and David went to school. Anne Macleod sat in
his first class with him and David decided that he was going to do it. He
was going to make it through his first class and show Anne Macleod that
there was nothing really wrong. He did manage to make it through a half an
hour, before, in front of everybody, he burst into tears. Anne escorted him
out of the class and back to the office. David tried to explain to her that
he really wanted this to work and he wanted to make his father happy with
him and he didn't want to make his step-mom mad, but he just couldn't
do it. Anne Macleod simply nodded her head and got on the phone with
David's step-mom.
	Taking a deep breath, she said, "Mrs. Levine, yes...This is Anne
Macleod.  Well, David really seemed to make an effort today, but he seemed
to stay in class several minutes longer than he was able and ended up
crying and making quite a scene. While I dislike to admit it, I am going to
advise you to keep David out of school until you can meet with a
professional about this. It simply won't do to have David crying and
vomiting in school. He is making a scene and turning people off of him."

	So, only three days after first going to school, David was sent
home and told not to come back for a while. David's step-mother tried to
make the arrangements with a Dr. Glass as soon as possible, as she was very
anxious to get David back into school. David's father tried to spend as
much time with David as possible, hoping that what he needed was just a
little more love. David went to school once a day and got homework, so he
could at least keep up with his studies

	David, meanwhile, was extremely depressed. He came out to BC
wanting a new life and he ended up making his father frustrated and his
step-mom angry.  Nothing seemed to work out for him and he was really tired
of it.

	He knew David's father took sleeping pills, so that Friday, when
his father and step-mother had left for work and left David home alone,
David went into their room and took his father's sleeping pills. He
swallowed twelve of the pills, an amount that he was sure would be enough
to kill him. Afterwards, he walked into his room and lay down on his bed,
waiting for the pills to take effect. As an added incentive, David quickly
ran downstairs and took several shots of whiskey from his dad's liquor
cabinet, then went back to his bed.

	Within fifteen minutes, a blackness came over David's mind and
he passed out. His last thought was, "Finally!"