Date: Sun, 19 Jan 2003 01:47:09 -0600
From: Michael Yost <myost@charter.net>
Subject: Real World Chapter 40

"Josh it's me," Pete whispered, tapping on the window glass.

"Come on in.  I'll prop the chair against the door knob," Josh whispered.

Removing the glass from the window, Pete gracefully fell inside of Josh's room.

I have all our problems solved!"  Pete cried throwing his arms around Josh.

"What are you talking about?  Pete where have you been?  And who was that
vampire you were with?" Josh said, holding Pete at an arms length, His heart
aching more than just a little. "Pete, first about your past with Michael it's
none of my business. I shouldn't have even brought it up."

Never mind about Michael!  Who cares about Michael! The vampire I was with  his
name is Ovid," Pete cried, "Josh, I want us to join his coven. We're going to
runaway together to Paris."

"With Ovid," Josh said tonelessly.

"And Emil and Lena," Pete said forcefully, "Think of it Josh no more sneaking
around to be together.   No more having to pretend were mortals. No more
crawling through windows!  Josh what the matter with you? Why aren't you happy?"

"Pete,  Dads expects me to start school as soon as I go back to New Orleans,"
Josh said letting his hands drop from Pete's slim shoulders.  "He's counting on
me!"   Josh picked up his football nervously tossing it up in  the air and
catching it. "I can't disappoint my dads about something that is as important as
school.  You know how much it means to him."

"You can't disappoint Damion but its ok to  disappoint me!" Pete cried
disbelief.

"Pete,  I have dreams. Things I want to do in life.  You know I want to be a
free lance photo journalist.  I'm looking forward to my classes.  I already have
a couple photos hanging in the school's gallery.   There's so much I want to
learn. I want to see other people's styles. I want to be an influence on others
too."

"You'll learn more about photography if you go to Paris with me.  You're not
thinking for yourself!  Paris, Josh, Note Dame, the ancient cemeteries and the
boulevards. The cabarets, Josh Pairs is an artist's dream. You're throwing away
Paris to sit in a stuffy classroom full of boring mortals just to make Damion
happy!!"

"I'm honoring my dads wishes because I want to.  I love my dads. Sure he's
disappointed me more than once. So what! I will not disappoint  him in something
as important as this."

Reaching over Pete took the football from Josh's  hand and threw it on the bed.

"You just want to impress mortals with your photography skills, how about
impressing me for a change!"

Josh looked at the floor,  he mumbled, "What about Ace and Tabby?"

"Your kids can come with us.  Josh you are being cruel condemning them to a
mortal life style."

"You expect me to take Tabby and Ace amongst people I don't even know.  You know
the relationship between our races isn't always good!  Sometimes there's even
violence between our races. Mostly against sun walkers. Does this coven  even
want me along?"

"They'll learn to like you," Pete said lamely.

"They'll  learn?" Josh laughed mirthlessly, "I do not want Tabby and Ace to live
a nomad's life style with vampires who will only barely tolerate them.  Pete why
do you want to go?"

"I want to go because I feel I have to. Josh you have college, a career to look
forward too.  These avenues, they are closed off to me. The only option a night
walker who has been put on the devil's road at childhood or adolescence to
become an adult is to journey away from his makers."

"Pete, night walkers kill vampires who have been put on the devil's road when
they were children.   I think you should go Pete. I would not hold you back any
more  than you would hold me back. I want you to go to Paris. I'll stay in New
Orleans.  I'll wait for you."

"You want me to go alone to Paris, without you?" Pete said in  a stunned voice,
"Louis is constantly interfering!  Josh we have to go if we want to be
together.  We, I , you do want us to be together, don't you!"

"You're an adult.  It has nothing to do with what I want and everything to do
with what you want. I'm not going to runaway from dads  just because he put some
obstacles in our way. I not running away from my responsibilities. I love my
responsibilities."

"Josh I'm not asking you to leave Tabby and Ace!  There's safety in numbers
Josh. It would be best if we traveled with Ovid's coven.  You could leave Ace
and Tabby with Damion and Daniel like you're doing now."

"For how long?  Sun walker children grow up Pete!  They are  not like night
walker children who never grow until someone kills them.  Ace lost a tooth while
I was gone."

"Then take them. All I'm asking is you take Tabby and Ace on the devils road so
we can be together the four of us.  They are not mortal children.  We can give
Ace and Tabby a  better life.  A life with freedom to it.   We'll live only for
ourselves rejecting everything that is mortal If you keep them in the mortal
world they'll only learn  they are different. They'll only learn regret and
sadness  for what they are!"

"I learned how to live in the mortal world being different.  I know being
different hurts. So do you. You always have known it the same as me.  When we
were both mortals we knew we weren't the same as most kids. I grew up poor  for
most of my life with a drunk for a mother till I was adopted by dads, and even
after I finally had money,  and I family that loved me, I was teased for having
a gay couple for parents.  We took our fair share of being rejected.   I can't
protect Tabby and Ace from the fact of what they are,  or from what we are.  I
can teach them to accept to accept it's OK to be different and they don't have
to give up on things other boys and girls have.  They're  going to make friends
Pete, I know they will, yes with mortals, just like I did. And they'll accept
the fact there are some mortals they'll have to kill to survive. Tabby and Ace
are going to accept   having  to pretend for the rest of their lives that they
are mortals.  They'll get laughed at, rejected and teased by some,  not because
they are vampires, but because of us!"

"They do not have to put up with that garbage!"

There is no place safe on earth from that kind of garbage.  And you know it.
They are going to go to little league, ballet, play basketball, anything they
want to do in life, and  I'm going to be there  to support them just like my
father and dads supported me!"

"But Louis," Pete cried. "Your dads  thinks I'm a child.  And you know that's
true!  He projects every sin every night walking vampire has ever committed onto
me!  Including his own sins and mistakes with Tara, Les, and Daniel!"

"Pete if your so afraid of Louis' disapproval of us, if you cant face up to
him,  if your this insecure about us, " Josh said sadly.

"You feel the same way otherwise you would have told Louis I'm here in Chicago!"
Pete yelled.  "I'm sick of the charade!  I'm sick of you holding mortal girls in
your arms at concerts to look like a real man. I'm sick of it.  And you should
be just as sick of it too!"

"You know I was being blackmailed by Links.  I couldn't help it.  I didn't want
him dragging my dads in this mess!" Josh pleaded. "I wanted to prove to dads
we're not like him and Les.  Obsessed with each other."

" There's always some lie you have to tell to protect or to appease someone .
Think about this Josh, think about what your doing to us.  Ovid is supportive of
your joining the coven."

"Why is he being so supportive Pete?" Josh said in a quiet voice.

"Because," Pete said turning his head away from Josh.  "He cares about  me."

"He does," Josh said biting the skin behind his lower lip, going into shock over
the sudden embarrassed look on Pete's face.

Cupping the back of Pete's  head, drawing his face to his, Josh tenderly kissed
him, rubbing his forehead against Pete's.  "you care about  him  don't you?"

"Yes,  I care about Ovid.  It's different with him, " Pete said in a small
voice.

"Have the two of you kissed yet?'  Josh asked in a smaller voice.

"Josh, he kissed me.  That's all.  I," Pete said, looking away.

"And it was a nice kiss.  Did it taste of  blood? Was it the kind of blood kiss
a day walker can never give you?  Not if he didn't want to poison you?   Please
don't answer that Pete, I can see it on your face it was, " Josh said solemnly,
"Pete, I can't go to Paris with you."

"You mean you won't," Pete said angrily.

"I'll wait for you. I promise," Josh said wilting.

"You'll wait for me to come back?" Pete whispered, his expectations chilled to
ice, "I thought this would make you happy. I thought being with me would make
you happy."

"Do what makes you happy Pete and stop worrying about what I think or what
everyone else thinks."

"I see," Pete said, softly, "I thought I came first in you life."

"Pete you do . All of you  come first in my life. Tabby, dads, father, Ace, all
of you come first in my life.    Even Brent.  I can't  disappear from his life.
I'm his support body.   That's how it has to be. I'm sorry," Josh said in a
hurt  voice.

"So that's all I am to you a responsibility on a long list of responsibilities.
So much for romantic love!" Pete cried.

"I thought we were romantic.  I'm sorry you don't the same way I do!" Josh said,
feeling like his face had been slapped.

"Think about this," Pete said quietly, taking off his promise ring, giving it to
Josh,  "You're  right, I should go to Paris. Josh,  there's no reason for you to
wait for me when  I'm gone.  We live in two different worlds. They collided for
a short time.  If you loved me as much as you say you do you  would have joined
me in my world. You don't belong there, and I don't belong in your world.   I'm
gone."

Leaving through the window, Pete crawled down the brick wall of the house. He
sat on the ground with his  kneels tucked  up to his chest, A lust to wander, a
lust to have another  taste of Ovid's  blood, to have Ovid's  cold hands on his
flesh  warred with his deepest desires and doubts.

Hearing someone knocking on his door, Josh yelled, "Go away!"

"Josh it's important I have to talk to you," said a muffled voice.

"Fine," Josh said wiping his eyes,  pulling out the chair from  under the door
knob. Throwing the bloody pillow under the bed.

"You, are you crying?' Joey said in an incredulous voice, "Your eyes are all
red."

"My boy friend dumped me, or I dumped him," Josh said.

"You're what?" Joey said quietly.

"My boy friend. All right!  Want to announce it to the whole world.  Want to
tell Amy so she can yell at me again!   Josh is a fag, I'm a stupid, dumb, ass
jerk of a fag," Josh choked.

"Why did he dump you?" Joey said  softly.

"I don't know. I know why I dumped him.  He's been hanging  around with a rough
crowd, with a guy who is obviously hot for him. He wanted me to hang with them
too. I now it's because he's feeling  guilty about how he feels about this Ovid
guy. I should have knows he'd eventually fall for someone who  has more things
in common with him. I knew it was only a matter of time.  But I kind of hoped.
Hoped for the  fricken impossible that's what I hoped for."

"I know how you feel," Joey said, siting on the bed with Josh. Awkwardly Joey
patted Josh's back.  My girlfriend was starting to hang out with a new crowd
too. They made me feel stupid. A bunch of preppy rich snobs. She  bought into
their life style, and started criticizing me for how I dressed, talked.  Trying
to change me.  I could tell she was embarrassed about the fact I lived in a
mobile home and drove a beat up,  used Corsica.  I'm saving up my money for
school. Josh someday I'm going to make it.  I swear I am. I'm gong to be a
pediatrician  I know I will.  The grades are all there. I've already gotten
scholarships.  She stopped believing in me.  She wanted things now, money spent
on her now.  She was trying to change me. It was a matter of time before we
broke up too. And Josh it was for the best. I wasn't right for her.  You want to
know the truth Josh?'

"What?"

"I didn't care when she broke up with me Josh. I realized after a month the best
thing in the world that ever happened to me was her dumping me. Josh, I think
you could be the best thing that could ever happen to me,' Joey said in a  shaky
voice,  "Josh I was attracted to you the first time we met."

"But, you and Marica."

"Me poking her is just something for my friends back home to see. Josh it isn't
fair to Marica but so the fuck what?  Is is fair my parents will freak when they
find out I'm bisexual?  Is it fair my friends are going to see me differently?
Is it fair some people will refuse to send their kids to a pedestrian that likes
men too along with girls? Nothing is fair in life, not for me, not for Marcia,
not for anyone Josh.  I want to kiss you.  You'd be the first boy I ever
kissed.  Please."

"Joey, I don't know," Josh said.

Joey leaned over,  his eyes closed, very softly he kissed Josh's mouth.  Josh
found himself responding to the meaning and hunger of the kiss. He melted
against Joey's body.  Josh  pressed his crotch against Joey's.   Breathlessly
Josh  demandingly kissed Joey harder and deeper, ready to be the boy's first
time.

Pete crawled up the brick wall, he looked through the window.  Josh was on top
of Joey.  His mouth locked on the boy's mouth.  His one hand was undoing the
buttons on Joey's shirt,  his other hand was struggling with undoing Joey's
jeans.

Falling down from the roof, landing on his feet, Pete ran to Ovid's trailer.

Josh laid his head on Joey's chest, whispering "I can't do this. I'm still in
love with my boy friend. Even if were' not together anymore, I could never look
him in the eye if I made love to you tonight. Joey, if I had never met this guy
I would be so honored to be your first.  You're beautiful, wonderful, but you're
not my boy friend."

"He saw you first. Can't change a fact of life," Joey said disappointed.

"The only other reason I have for wanting you besides the fact you're a great
guy is to get over feeling hurt by him. I don't want to get over him yet.  It
would be so unfair and stupid of me  to make love to someone as special as you
on the rebound.  You deserve your first time to be with someone you really care
about and who cares about you.  It's not just about sex.  It shouldn't be
anyway.   Could  you please do me a favor?"

"Anything," Joey said, his eyes smiling at Josh, "I hope I meet someone who
loves me as much as you love this  guy.  He must be special."

"He is.  Would you please get me  three gallons of butter brickle ice cream and
the biggest  spoon you can find?"

"Josh,  you'll make yourself sick. No one's worth that!" Joey protested.

"I'm already feeling sick," Josh moaned.

Banging into Ovid's trailer, Pete stormed past Ovid, he went into the mess of a
bedroom, flinging himself on a stained mattress.

Taking up a handball, Pete threw it against the wall, catching it when it
bounced back.

It's so strange for us night walkers, he mediated, Emotions, emotions  hit your
brain like a slamming down claw hammer. And then you're numb, distanced.   Like
you never felt what you felt, and then everything  hits you like an oncoming
train.

Throwing the handball as hard as he could, Pete sent it whizzing through the
wall.

tbc