Date: Wed, 24 Aug 2011 10:40:44 -0700
From: h.schreiber@hushmail.com
Subject: Chapter 15 of Rock and a Hard Place by Hans Schreiber

Warning! This is a work of fiction written by a legal age adult. Any
similarity between the fictional characters and any live persons is purely
coincidental. This story contains fictional descriptions of sexual activity
between consenting minor youth. If you are under the age of 18, and/or if
you are offended by this content, and/or if it is illegal in your
jurisdiction to possess or read such material, please leave now and do not
read this story as neither the internet host nor the author can be
responsible for your actions. Please, always practice safe sex; no
momentary thrill is worth your life.

This work is copyrighted © by Hans Schreiber. You may not reproduce this
story in whole or in part without the express written consent of Hans
Schreiber at h.schreiber@hushmail.com.

Special thanks to my editors, Flip, Smallfox, Lisa and Pablo for their
valuable assistance in making this story so much better.

Rock and a Hard Place

Chapter 15

Look Before You Jump

	I breathed an immense sigh of relief and was immediately overtaken
in guilty embarrassment as my father said "Ta-da" and tossed a deck of red,
blue, yellow and green UNO cards on the table. I buried my face in my hands
feeling the heat of the blood rushing to the capillaries through my sweaty
palms.

	"Kyle, what is with you?" my dad asked.

	"N-N-Nothing. Let's play." I stammered.

	"Oh no. Something is going on with you. What is it? I want the
truth." There was an unusual sternness in my father's voice and I wouldn't
have dared to lie. His gaze pierced the hands covering my face.

	"Well, it's stupid, but when you were talking about playing UNO, I
thought you said you wanted to play `You Know', as in ..." I imitated
masturbation on my pointer finger just like Bodie had done to teach me how
to do it so long ago. I was still hot in the face and horribly embarrassed
by my misinterpretation. The look on my father's face was terrifying. It
was a mixture of extreme hurt, exceptional disappointment, and bridled
anger.

	"You actually thought I wanted to engage in sexual activity with my
own son?"

	"Well, I couldn't hardly believe it, but with all the talk about
doing the `you know' as we were calling it ever since you caught me in my
room, and with your story about doing it with your friends as a kid, and
complimenting me about my hot naked body just now, I just kind of thought
that was what you were talking about. Plus, what with mom cutting you off
from sex for such a long time, I got to thinking how that could make you
kind of crazy horny." The flash of anger at the mention of my mom cutting
him off was terrifying to me and stifled any further comments from me. His
face twisted into a tortured, zombie-like mask and he began to tremble.

	"I think the nudity around the house is not a good idea after
all. Go get some clothes on. In fact, just go to bed. I'll do the same. I'm
really hurt that you could even think I was capable of that. How dare you
suggest I would stoop to something so, so, so base and utterly
inappropriate. Do you see what I mean about jumping to conclusions and
making assumptions about people without all the facts? Shame on you, Kyle."

	"Dad, I'm sorry. Don't be mad at me. It was just so confusing with
everything that was going on and the way you said it and all. Please ..."

	"I said, `Go to bed!' Good night. I don't even want to look at you
right now."

	The tears gushed forth. I was becoming such a damn crybaby
lately. I couldn't believe I'd ruined everything that had happened so
positive between my father and me. I was heartbroken and furious with
myself. He stood there stoic with intense, painful hurt in his eyes -
naked, wounded and trembling. He was rubbing his neck with his left hand
and clenching and unclenching his right fist.

	I stood and trudged from the kitchen. At the doorway, I stopped and
turned around. Tears were flowing down my face. My heart was heavy and
sadness overwhelmed me. "Daddy, please ..." I began, but his look stopped
me. I fell into the door sill and then turned and ran up the stairs into my
room. I threw myself on the bed and slammed punches into my pillow until I
was exhausted. In one last burst of angry energy, I kicked my wall and
watched my foot disappear into the drywall. "Fucking great! There's one
more thing for Dad to be pissed at me for. How could I be so stupid? But it
seemed so obvious that mutual masturbation was what he was suggesting.
Everything pointed to it. Anyone could have made that mistake," I thought.

      The memory of the disappointment in his eyes haunted me. Anger I
could deal with, but not disappointment. I didn't want to jack off with
him; I mean, how gross would that actually be? I only agreed because it
sounded like he was so excited to do it and I wanted to please him and it
all just went to hell. Everything I do is wrong even when I intend to do
good. "Fuck, fuck, fuck! I wish I could just die." For the first time in my
life, I actually entertained the idea of suicide. I knew deep down, I could
never really pull it off, but I allowed myself the pitiful contemplation of
it while lying there on my bed. I decided if I ever did really do it, I'd
go out the way I came in, naked. I imagined them finding me and the shock
they would feel. Provided anyone cared.

	"PLEASE, Dear God!" I plead. "I love my dad. Please don't let me
lose my daddy again. Please." I knelt beside my bed and cried my heart out
to the Lord, but I felt nothing. No warmth, no little voices in my head, no
peace, nothing at all. In that instant, I felt more alone than ever before
in my whole life. Even more alone than when I got locked in Gramp's old
garden shed when I was six. It was dark and scary and cold until someone
finally found me. Odd scary shapes surrounded me in the darkness,
threatening to pounce. This was worse. Even God was mad at me. I'd been
alone for so long. My dad was always at work saving lives and my mother was
always gone saving whales or owls or turtles. The Screw Crew and the
wrestling team had been my salvation in those times. I'd nearly lost
wrestling from my stupid stunt to try and make weight and now the Screw
Crew seemed to be falling apart. "Who's going to save me? WHO? Does anyone
care about me?"

	I felt a soft, moist warmth press into the crack of my naked
ass. Startled, I turned sharply in surprise to find my old dog, Sam,
nuzzling me. Relaxing, I turned and sat on the floor leaning against the
side of the bed. Sam stepped in toward me and laid his head knowingly
across my chest. I bathed his head in my tears as I petted him. He wagged
his tail slowly and occasionally licked at the salty tears trickling down
my face. As my tears eventually dried up, I crawled into bed and fell into
a fitful sleep.

	I woke suddenly with a start. I blinked several times and felt the
presence of a warm body in bed with me. It was Sam. He'd actually managed
to jump up onto my bed just like the old days before his arthritis and
snuggled against me. I petted him gently as he breathed in and out slow and
irregular. I glanced at the green eyed monster and read the digits. It read
12:01. Sunday, with all its highs and lows had passed on and it was a new
day. I wondered what fresh horrors Monday might hold. The message light on
my phone was flashing. I picked it up and saw a message from William.
"Brother Kyle. I was awakened by the Spirit. I felt a pressing urge to
contact you. I appreciate you immensely. My supplication to the Lord was
answered when you sought me out. I am grateful you will still accompany me
to the Fall Formal. I dared not attend without your sustaining support. I
love my new brother."

	"Thanks, bro. I needed that more than you know. Love you too bro,"
I tapped out on my keyboard. A warm shiver ran up my spine. I crawled back
in next to Sam, hugged him and cuddled up. "Hey Sam, how come William got
his prayer answered but I didn't?" I asked. Old wise Sam just lifted his
head and peered at me with one eye and lay back down.

	"Yeah, I guess you're right old buddy, God probably does love him
more than me." I drifted back to sleep, comforted by Sam's presence.

	The alarm sounded and I stretched in bed. I felt miserable. I
hadn't slept well or long enough. I thought it was good that Kirk was
running with me now or I'd be tempted just to blow it off. Sam was still
there on my bed lying against me. I reached out to nudge him over so I
could get up, but something wasn't right about it. I reached down further
and grabbed a paw and the awful realization dawned on me.  From the depths
of my soul a pathetic scream erupted. "NOOOOOOO!" Again and again I cried
out begging for it not to be so.

	My father rushed in wearing beige pajama bottoms and serious
consternation on his face. "What is going on? Kyle, why are you screaming?"

	"It's Sam. Oh daddy, I can't bear it. I just can't bear it." I was
holding old Sam in my arms and rocking. My father wrapped his arms around
me and held me while I clung to my old friend, Sam.

      "He was such a great dog. He lived a good long life for a
Labrador. We were lucky to have him in our life. It's good that he died
peacefully, next to the one he loved most." Dad said trying to comfort me.

      "I can't take any more losses, Dad. I lost mom, and last night I lost
you again, and now I've lost Sam forever. It isn't fair. It just isn't
fair."

	"Oh son, no. You didn't lose me. I was upset and hurt last night,
but I'm still your father. I'm still here for you. How could I ever be that
angry at you to lose you over a stupid misunderstanding? I was hurt by your
accusation, but I realized last night as I cried my own self to sleep that
I was as much to for what you thought about me. I just needed a night to
sleep on it and get things in perspective. Let's put that behind us now and
take care of Sam. Come on, let go of poor Sam and go get cleaned up. I'll
take care of his body and drop him off at the vet on the way to work. You
don't have to deal with that part of it."

	"No, dad. I don't want him taken to the vet and have him
cremated. I want to bury him."

	"Where? Son, I just don't know where we could legally do that."

	"Fuck legal! I'm not letting him get burned up! I want to take him
to my special spot by the creek. I want to bury him there where we ran
together as pups. You can't make me let them burn him up, you can't!"

	"All right son. Calm down, I'll help you. We'll bury him by the
creek. Go get cleaned up and I'll find a suitable box."

	I hugged old Sam one last time, kissed his fur and said, "Goodbye
old friend. I love you. Thanks for always being there for me." I wandered
sadly, head down, to the bathroom. I started the shower and stood under the
spray staring blankly at the wall. When I finally emerged from the shower,
I dried off and then dressed in the old work clothes my father had brought
in for me. Dad already loaded Sam into the trunk of the car along with an
old wagon. As a young boy, Sam had pulled me up and down the sidewalk in
that wagon. It was a happy memory.

      When we reached the trailhead, Dad opened the trunk of the car and
set the wagon on the ground and placed a large box on it. Then, he hefted a
large black plastic bag from the trunk and placed it into the box. I sucked
in a breath and had to steady myself on the side of the Mercedes.

      An image flashed in my mind of William's father holding the plastic
bag. I shook my head, fought the urge to throw up. I couldn't get the image
out of my mind. Finally in frustration, I grabbed the handle of the wagon
and began pulling. Dad had to assist me over some rocks and branches along
the way especially early on where the trail was very overgrown. He also
carried a shovel and a pick.

      Kirk called out to us just before we reached the creek. We stopped
and allowed him to catch up. My father explained what it was we were doing
since I couldn't do it without crying. Kirk pulled me into a swift hug and
expressed his sympathy for me. He helped us cover the remaining distance to
the special place.

      When we reached my special place, I picked out a grassy spot on the
other side of my log and we dug the grave. Kirk pitched in taking turns
with the pick and then the shovel. "Why did you put him in a plastic bag?"
I asked my father.

      "I want to prevent his odor from attracting any wild animals that
might try to dig him up. I don't want him to be disturbed."

      "Thanks," I said. A thought distilled into my mind on how we were not
burying Sam, only his body. Just like when Grams died, it wasn't her in the
casket. It was only her physical remains. Her spirit had left and gone on
to wherever it is we go, as had Sam's. I hoped Grams was petting him right
now as he happily wagged his tail.

      We dug in silence until the hole was adequately deep. We closed the
box and placed it into the hole and then covered it up. I was unnerved by
the sound of the dirt and rocks hitting the cardboard and was glad when it
was covered enough not to make any more sound. I piled some rocks from the
stream at the head of the grave as a marker.  My father stood with his arm
around one shoulder and Kirk held me from the other side as I said my last
goodbye to the one creature on earth who had always accepted me for who I
was and never ever turned me away. No words were spoken until we reached
Kirk's home. He got out and said, "Kyle, I'm really sorry for you. That
totally sucks."

      "I know. Thanks for helping."

      "Sure. No problem. See ya later."

      "Yeah, see ya."

      The drive to our house was silent. When Dad parked in the garage and
turned the car off, I asked, "What about school and work?"

      "I'll call in and tell the school you won't be coming in today. I
told them a close family friend passed away."

      "Thanks. I don't think I could handle going."

      "I know. I'll need to go in to the hospital later today. There are
some things I just have to get done. Will you be okay home alone?"

      "Yeah, I'll be okay. Thanks for helping me with Sam."

      "Thanks for helping me do the right thing by him," Dad said, "You're
a good hearted person, Kyle. Better than I deserve for a son."

      "No I'm not. I really screwed up with you last night just like I keep
doing over and over. I screwed up and yelled at mom and then she left
us. If I'd been the kind of son she wanted and not been so stubborn about
refusing to go to the dumb private school or taking dance classes, she
might have stayed with us. I screwed up and let William down and almost
messed things up with him. And last night, I screwed up big time by jumping
to conclusions like you said, and I almost ruined things between us. I'm
just messed up. If you knew what I'm really like, you wouldn't ..." I
stopped myself. I wasn't ready to reveal any more. Not yet. Not now. Not
even to myself, let alone to him. I couldn't risk the outcome. I couldn't
risk any more loss. My father began to ask, but then perceptibly stopped
and let it be. I was grateful he did.

      Instead, he reached over and put his hand on my thigh and squeezed.
"Kyle, don't ever blame yourself for your mother's leaving. It was her bad
decision and hers alone. You are not at fault. You showed great courage and
fixed things up with William and I'm proud of you for it. I can't bring
your mother or Sam back to you, but I can promise you that I will always be
here for you no matter what."

      I looked him in the eye and asked, "Really? No matter what?" He
affirmed it with a slow nod and reassuring smile. I wished I dared believe
it.

      I went to my room and sat on my bed. I placed Sam's collar on my
nightstand next to the green eyed monster and opened up the large Bible.
"Direct me," I prayed silently. I flipped through the pages and stopped in
the New Testament at Matthew, chapter 10. When I read verses 29 to 31, I
was forced to stop and ponder. I read, "Are not two sparrows sold for a
farthing? And one of them shall not fall on the ground without your
Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear ye not
therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows."

	"Every hair of my head is numbered?" I wondered to myself. "How is
that possible?" "With God, all things are possible." William's words
filtered into my mind. I remembered him saying something like that when he
was preparing for his operation. "But if God is even mindful of all the
sparrows, then for sure God is mindful of old Sam. If all humans treated
each other like dogs treat us, this life would be perfect." The thought
comforted me as the now familiar warm feeling spread through my soul. Sam
had loved me unconditionally. William seemingly loved me unconditionally
and now my father professed to love me unconditionally. The question was
whether I dared trust it. I flipped through the pages again and came across
a scripture I had actually heard a few times but never given any deep
thought to. One word in John, chapter 15, seemed to jump off the page at me
in a life changing realization: "As the Father hath loved me, so have I
loved you: continue ye in my love. If ye keep my commandments, ye shall
abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide
in his love. These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain
in you, and that your joy might be full. This is my commandment, that ye
love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this,
that a man lay down his life for his friends."

	I closed the book and knelt down. I threaded my fingers together
and rested my head on the bed. "Dear God," I began, "do you love me?" An
immediate warm glow filled my soul, stronger than ever before. The entire
room seemed full of light and peace. Small tears of joy pushed past my
eyelids. "No matter what? Even if ... even if I'm gay?"

	"I am He who came into this world to save the world. I am He who
died that you might live. I am your brother and I have taught you of the
Father who sent me. As the Father hath loved me unconditionally, so I love
you. No matter what. Trust in your Father's love, Kyle. Trust in your own
capacity to love, but love honestly. Be true to thy self." The thought was
as clear as though it had been spoken aloud to me.

      I felt the weight of the deeply buried burden I'd carried all my life
lifted off my shoulders. Fear was plucked from my heart and soul. Life was
all about learning to love, not just any love, but pure and honest love,
like Christ's love for us. I had witnessed that kind of love in Scotty's
parents' kiss and the way they looked at each other. It was all about being
honest with oneself and with God. Truth is not always easy, though.
Sometimes truth has consequences. Look where it got Christ. Already, I
began to fear the ramifications of this new knowledge and with fear came
weakness.

	I walked downstairs and into the library. I found the photo books
from when I was younger and opened the one from when we first got old
Sam. I also fired up the computer in the library where we all dumped our
camera cards into picture files. I flipped through the photo book until I
found some of him as a new pup. I smiled as I saw myself as a young
child. Many pictures were of me playing with Sam and my parents at our old
house. I loved that place. It was small but it was cozy and full of love. I
wished I could go back to being five again and experience those wonderful
times all over. There was a picture of my dad on all fours giving me a
horsey ride and Sam jumping about and nipping at us. My favorite one that
totally cracked me up was Sam playing peek-a-boo with me by hiding in the
ice plant and poking his nose out to make me laugh. There was a great shot
of him with just his muzzle poking out of the ice plant. It appeared he had
a smile on his snout.

	I found so many wonderful happy memories within the album pages and
in the electronic files on the computer. After several hours, when my dad
asked me if I wanted to go get some lunch, I declined but then
reconsidered. "Can we go by the mall and get those shoes for William? Then
maybe we could go by Hadfield's Nursery so I could buy some ice plant."

	"What do you want with ice plant?" he asked.

	"It's a surprise," I responded with a small wink.

	We had a nice, simple lunch at the food court and chatted again as
if nothing had happened the prior night between us. I was so, so relieved
that it didn't even come up. "Do you believe in heaven?" I asked.

	"Of course I do. I believe in God, so I, by definition, have to
believe in heaven as the abode of God."

	"Do you think animals go to heaven?"

	Dad smiled at me kindly and said, "I'm sure animals have a much
better shot at it than many humans."

	"I think so too." I speared my last cherry tomato in my salad and
squished it between my molars. We dumped our trays and headed for the shoe
store.

      I searched the boxes and was seriously disappointed that they didn't
have the same color, style and size I needed to replace the shoes. I picked
up a close alternative and told my dad I'd just have to settle for them. He
shook his head. "It won't do. You need to take him one matching shoe to
replace the lost one."

      "But it's not like the other one can really be replaced, it got
burned up. He can just toss the other one and have these matching
replacements from me," I explained.

      My father shook his head, "You don't understand what I'm saying,
Kyle. William has attached significant meaning to that gift. He doesn't
care about any other shoes. He realizes he lost one shoe and can't get it
back. He already lost one of a pair of something else that he can't ever
get back. It's about holding on to what he has left that matters, not
getting two replacements. Someday, he'll get an artificial testicle to fill
the empty sac, just like you can give him a replacement shoe for the lost
one, but you can't replace the value of the one he has left. It signifies a
means of holding onto your friendship."

      The depth of wisdom my father exhibited amazed me. I wondered if I
could ever develop that kind of understanding for people. I wanted to.
Seriously, I vowed to try and be like him in that regard. "I get it. That's
amazing you could decipher that. But what can I do then?"

      "We'll keep looking or we'll order one. Put those back and let's go."
I did.

      Dad went to the counter and asked if there were any other stores in
town that might have that style and size. The clerk was bored since it was
middle of the day and kids were in school instead of in his store, so he
seemed willing to help us find a pair. He called all the other chain stores
in town that carried Vans and finally he found one for us near the
hospital. My dad took me there and I was thrilled when the clerk pulled the
box from behind the counter and it was the exact same size, style and
color. "Great!" I exclaimed.

      The salesman smiled at my reaction. He looked down at my feet and
said, "These are obviously not for either of you. Are they a present for
someone special or something?"

      "Yes sir, someone very special who's actually in the hospital down
the street right now, come to think of it." I turned to Dad and asked, "Do
you think if William is at the doctor's office getting his stitches out, we
could meet up and I could give him this?"

      "Sure. I could do some work while you two catch up. I'm sure he would
like to know about Sam also." I pulled my phone from my pocket and shot off
a text. In no time at all, William sent back his exact location, complete
with turn by turn directions from the parking structure to the office he
was waiting in.

      I practically skipped my way from the car to the waiting room. When I
opened the door, William immediately lit up and rose to greet me. His smile
was infectious. He reached out to shake my hand and I grabbed it and pulled
him into a hug. He was self conscious over it, but I didn't care. I felt
like hugging him. I shook Mrs. Thames' hand and sat next to William.

      "Why are you not attending school?" William asked.

      "Oh, something really sad happened today, so I stayed home. My old
dog I've had forever died this morning." Mrs. Thames showered me with
sympathy and condolences. William's reaction was oddly different.

      "Dogs die every day. It's natural. How many years did you have him?"
William asked.

      "Ten and a half," I answered. "That's short for a Labrador. They
normally live over twelve but he had arthritis and couldn't stay very
active." I was taken aback by William's seeming coldness toward my loss of
Sam.

      "Did you love him?" William asked unemotionally.

      "Yeah, of course. It was impossible not to love him the way he loved
me. He was my best friend for as long as I can remember."

      "Death is the penalty for life." William said. His mother scowled at
him and gripped his arm. "But love is life's reward." Then he turned and
smiled at me with sincere kindness in his eyes. I smiled back with
gratitude in mine. "What's in your parcel?" he asked.

      "Oh, I nearly forgot." I pulled the box from the bag and lifted the
lid. I had taken the duplicate shoe out and left it in my dad's car. I
tilted it toward him and his eyes lit up.

      "For me?!?!" He cried out. The other patients stopped their
conversations and stared at him.  Normally, such attention would have
freaked him out, but he was so focused on the shoe that he blocked everyone
else out. He carefully removed the shoe from the box and looked at me for
confirmation. I nodded that, yes, it was for him. Immediately he ripped the
dress shoe from his foot and slipped into the new black Vans to match the
one on the other foot. He held up both feet and wiggled them, knocking the
toes together. He turned in his chair and gave me an unexpected and
uncomfortably tight hug.

      His mother was smiling as she reached over and retrieved the dress
shoe. She placed it in the empty box and put it back into the sack. When
William released my neck, the nurse stepped out and called, "William
Thames."

      "Present," William called back raising his hand. A couple of grade
school boys snickered.

      "We're ready for you." She walked over and whispered, "Would you like
your mother to come in or wait here?"

      "It is her preference. She has previously witnessed my exposed penis,
so I am indifferent on the matter." The two apparent fourth graders buried
their faces in their activity books and giggled with youthful
embarrassment. Their mother just looked away with her hand over her mouth.
William's mother and I were unaffected because of our experience with
William. The nurse turned, dumbfounded, toward William's mother who
informed her that she planned to accompany her son.

      "Good luck. I'll be here waiting for you." I said.

      "Nurse, may my brother, Kyle, attend the procedure? I would very much
appreciate his presence."

      She shrugged and said, "It's your party. I guess if you want your
brother there it's up to you." Then, she gave me a look as the others
walked toward the entry that was blatantly obvious.

      "I know," I said. "We had different fathers." She smiled and gave an
understanding nod. After leaving the waiting room, I leaned toward the
nurse and said in a hushed tone, "Mine was the landlord. His was the
mailman." She shot me a "too much information" look and quickened her pace
to catch up to Mrs. Thames. I stopped to get control of myself by biting
the inside of my cheek. I took a deep breath and caught up to them.

      William was instructed to remove his clothing and place the paper
robe over himself before sitting on the exam table. "May I retain my
shoes?" he asked.

      "Your shoes?" she clarified.

      "Yes, please. My brother gave me this one and I like to keep them
on."

      The nurse smiled and asked, "He only gave you one? Did he make you
buy the other one yourself?"

      "Oh, no ma'am. He bought me this one first and then he gave me this
one second."

      She was struggling to not appear impolite and said, "Well I guess you
can only put one on at a time so that works out."

      William looked at her as if he didn't understand and said. "Yes. One
at a time. May I retain them?"

      "I don't see why that would hurt. Just remove everything else."
William smiled and went straight to work stripping off his clothes. I
helped him get the legs of his slacks over the soles of the Vans. He
unabashedly pulled his clean, white briefs off and laid them on the extra
chair. I chose to stand up in the corner near Mrs. Thames. His penis and
ball looked much improved. William unbuttoned his shirt and carefully
draped it over the chair back and then hopped onto the exam table naked.

      "You forgot the paper robe," I said.

      "It is fruitless to don it. The physician will dispense with it
immediately upon entering."

      "Okay. It's your party like the nurse said." His mom and I looked at
each other and shared a knowing smile.

      The sight of his lithe nakedness and the sprouting replacement pubes
above his youthful looking dick and dangling ball caused a little stirring
in my loins. I wasn't sexually charged up by the sight as much as just the
whole oddness of the situation. I couldn't imagine sitting naked on the
table like that in front of my mother. I knew that she never would have
come in with me in the first place, however. I gave William's mom kudos for
supporting him even if it was uncomfortable for a boy his age and also
probably for her. I could tell he appreciated our support in being in there
with him.

      The physician flitted in and paused only a moment to take in the
unexpected attendees. He promptly acknowledged us and turned his attention
to the patient. "How are you doing, William?" he asked.

      "Grandiose, Doctor!" William beamed.

      "That's good. Can I have a look at my handiwork down here?" He placed
a hand on William's shoulder and laid him back. The doctor placed rubber
gloves on and began lifting, palpating and scrutinizing William's privates.
The doctor's "hmm's" and "ahem's" all had an upbeat tone to them, sounding
positive. He inquired if William had any pain or discomfort as he pulled
and prodded. William confirmed that he did not. Then he asked, "Have you
achieved an erection recently?"

      "Yes sir." William answered.

      "How recently was it?"

      "This morning, sir."

      "And, did you have any pain from it?"

      "No sir, I did not. It was actually most pleasurable."

      The doctor grinned and scratched at his temple. He leaned in and
asked, "Did you engage in masturbation and produce ejaculate?"

      "No sir. I have not masturbated. You instructed I should refrain from
doing so. I awoke this morning having had a nocturnal emission and was
still erect from the experience." William didn't make any attempt to
whisper or prevent his mom or me from hearing.

      "Very good," the doctor said. "And tell me, was the quantity of semen
you produced significant?"

      William shrugged. "I have no basis for comparison. I believe the
stain's diameter approximated that of emissions prior to my surgery."

      "Very good then. Let's get those stitches out." William watched
nervously as the physician clipped the sutures and slipped them from his
penis with tweezers. William clenched his butt cheeks and cocked his head
each time the doctor extracted a string of the black nylon thread.

      "A most extraordinary sensation," William said as the last one pulled
free.

      "I imagine it is." The doctor placed the extracted material in the
hazardous container and de-gloved. He gave instructions to refrain from
vigorous masturbation for a while but suggested that occasional, gentle
massage of the penis into an erection was actually a good therapy at this
stage. "Most boys are going to do it anyway, so I just warn them to be
careful about it."

      William just stared intently at the doctor who clearly expected some
sort of reaction to that statement being made in front of a mother, but he
got nothing besides William's indiscriminating stare. "If any redness or
bleeding develops, call me right away. Continue to take your growth
stimulating drugs and we'll have you come back in two weeks to see how
you're progressing on that front."

      William sat up and said, "Thank you, Doctor for transforming me into
a normal boy and saving one of my testicles. I didn't like being a freak."
The doctor who looked ready to bolt for his next patient, stopped dead in
his tracks. He was clearly overcome by the sincerity and magnitude of
William's gratitude. He brushed a tear from the corner of his eye and
gently placed a hand on William's shoulder.

      "You're most welcome, son. It's rewarding to actually help someone
and have them recognize it. God bless you." Then he quickly disappeared and
William pulled his clothes back on. He was just tugging the second leg of
his pants over the Vans when the nurse came in. She gave a printed list of
instructions to William's mom, shot me an odd glance and left.

      Back in the waiting room, I congratulated William on the success of
his appointment and said I'd see him in school. He thanked me, as did his
mom, for coming and for the shoe. We hugged and William actually hugged
back. Just as I pulled my phone to call my dad, it vibrated. It was Scotty.

      "Hey dude, it's Scotty. I got permission from coach to call you. Kirk
told us all about your dog dying. Dude, I'm so sorry. I feel really bad for
you. How are you doing?"

      "I'm doing okay now," I answered, "I was a mess this morning,
though."

      "I bet. I would be too. Tell me about him, or was it a her?"

      I told him all about old Sam and how I got him when I was only
five. I shared some of the favorite memories I gleaned from my trip down
memory lane earlier that morning. Scotty listened politely and patiently,
acting sincerely interested. Then he asked if there was anything he could
do for me.

      "Actually, yes," I responded. "I know it's a school night and all,
but I really don't want to sleep in my bed where he died all by myself
tonight. Do you think you could come over and spend the night with me? We
could get up and all go running together in the morning; you and I could
meet up with Kirk."

      "I'll ask. Normally, I wouldn't even bother asking that, but in this
kind of circumstance, I think my parents might say okay."

      "Hey thanks."

      "No problem dude. You'd be there for me if it was the other way
around." I wondered if that was true. I hoped it was. I realized the pure
love Scotty's parents shared with each other was rubbing off on their
children. Scotty was a kind, genuinely great person."

      Just as I was about to text my dad to come get me or tell me where he
was at, William reappeared. "Did you forget something?" I asked.

      "Yes. We forgot you," he joked. "We are going for an ice cream
treat. Would you like to join us?"

      "Thanks, but I can't eat that stuff right now. I have to make weight
in a couple of days and I sort of splurged this weekend. Thanks for the
invitation, though." William's disappointment was evident, so I added, "But
I wouldn't mind tagging along for the company, if that's all right." He
perked back up and waved for me to follow him down the stairs. I sent my
dad a text explaining that I was going home with William's mom.

      "Great! Glad u r. Have tons still 2 do here. CU l8tr" I was amused by
my father's attempt at sounding cool when he sends texts. All of it is
really old school abbreve's, but he gets points for trying. I followed up
with another text asking permission to have Scotty spend the night and
why. He approved, if it was okay with Scotty's parents. I was hopeful.

      The ice cream outing was pleasant. William's mom was actually very
charming and engaging. I had seriously misjudged her on first impressions.
We chatted about debate mostly and William was incredibly excited to go
back to school. I wished I could share some of his enthusiasm for that. I
was actually glad to have missed the first day of school since the bonfire
and hoped that whatever gossip and chatter there was would have died down
by the next day. After ice cream, we travelled over to William's trailer.
They offered to take me home, but William really wanted me to hang out with
him a while so I agreed to. I didn't really have any need to be at home,
and I was worried the empty house without Sam in it would be kind of
depressing.

      William's father was in his usual front row seat watching the
professional wrestlers engaging in their choreographed drama for
idiots. The beer in his hand was half full, or better said, half empty. He
glared at me and then said to his wife, "We're out of beer. Be a good wifey
and run get me some more." He waved some cash in her direction. William
dragged me quickly away into his room and shut the door. He pulled up the
latest research he had performed on the debate topic and we reviewed it. I
praised his good work. The trailer door opened and closed and shortly
afterward, William's door flew open. The barnacle filled the doorway.

      "Why are you here?" he interrogated me.

      "I was invited by William and his mother," I said firmly.

      I expected a fight but got none. Instead he turned to William and
asked surprisingly, "So how did it go at the doctors?"

      "Excellently, sir. All is healing satisfactorily." William seemed as
surprised as I was, and a little bit pleased, that his father actually
asked about his condition.

      "Good. Let's see it."

      William looked completely shocked at that request, but stood and
complied. He dropped his pants and his underwear and stood stiffly as his
old man knelt in front of him. His father used one finger to lift and move
William's penis from side to side. "That's a hell of a stitching job; you
can barely see any scaring." He dropped the tiny penis back against the
drooping ball and ordered, "Get an erection."

      "No father, please," William plead. "I don't wish to."

      "I don't give a damn what you wish. Do it!" William looked at me and
then back at the floor and shook his head in refusal.

      "I gave you an order boy. I'm your father and you have to respect and
honor my orders, right?"

      William glanced at me again. I jumped to William's rescue and boldly
said, "He said no. Leave him alone."

      "You've got no voice here. You're the reason he won't obey me. Get
out!" the old barnacle barked.

      "No!" William cried out. "Stay." Turning to his father, he said, "If
you leave, I will manipulate an erection and call you when it is achieved."

      "Oh. I get it. You want your little gay friend here to do it for
you. Whatever the fuck you're into. I really don't give a damn if you're
gay or straight or purple or green as long as you do what I need done." He
spun and left us.

      "You don't have to do this William. You can refuse. Does he make you
do things for him? Sexual things, I mean."

      William shook his head, no. "Will you kindly assist me? I fear that
if I fail to comply, he will perform it roughly after you depart and may
reinjure me. I know you will be gentle as per the physician's
instruction. You are more experienced than I am at this procedure."

      I started to argue, but really saw the logic behind what he said and
held my tongue. He was so unemotional and logical sometimes. He lay on the
bed and I pulled his shirt up past his small, dark brown nipples. I took
his tiny dick in my fingers and began rubbing it. "Hold on," I said. Do you
have any lotion?" He directed me to the bathroom by the sink and I returned
with it. I was liberal with its application and that made me feel better
not having to pull the recently repaired skin up and down. I could now
glide smoothly over the body and glans of his dick with my fingers and
thumb and in a moment, he lifted his head to watch. His mouth dropped
slightly open and his expression became serious as the first pulsations of
blood expanded his small unit. I added lotion and continued my gentle
stroking along his shaft and head. He pressed his lips together and then
dropped his jaw again, hauling in steady deep breaths causing his skinny
chest to visibly rise and fall.

      My own dick was aroused from touching his little one, and though not
fully erect, it was pressing out the fabric in my jeans. William was
starting to tense up and clench his butt muscles as he reached full
erection. I was intrigued that the area where the stitches had just been
removed was slightly redder than the surrounding folds of skin. I released
his dick and said, "Mr. Thames, it's ready."

      He lumbered in and leered at me. He rubbed his finger along William's
lubricated dick and then grabbed my right hand for a look. "I thought so,"
he spat out. The barnacle glanced an my crotch and I slid my left hand over
the bulge. "From freak to faggot!" he mocked. Then, he leaned in and
closely examined William's dick from all angles. "Excellent. That's going
to work out perfectly. In a couple of weeks, you'll never know without a
close inspection that any cutting was ever done on it. Hell of a fine
job. This is going to work out perfectly." He had an insidious smile as he
retreated. In the doorway, he stopped and said, "You better cover it up
before your mother gets home. There's no sense letting her know her
precious little angel is a fucking faggot; that would crush her."

      I looked sympathetically at William. "Are you sure he's never abused
you? Like anything?" William just shook his head, no. "So what do you want
to do now?"

      "Finish."

      "You mean, finish masturbating?"

      "Yes."

      I smiled and chuckled. "I knew you'd come around once it quit
hurting." I applied a fresh glob of pink lotion and wished him luck. Keep
it lotioned up real good and you won't have any problem with it. I'll hit
the head and give you some privacy."

      He swallowed hard, grinned, his eyes widened, and he gave the
slightest little moan as he took the tender reed into his own grasp and
began sliding up and down its length almost experimentally. I couldn't
resist watching for a minute before retreating to the small bathroom next
door, closing William's door behind me.

      The walls were very thin with no insulation and I strained to listen
in to his small gasps of pleasure rising steadily to a crescendo. I dropped
my pants and Hanes and then parked my ass on the toilet seat. I pulled my
t-shirt front up over my head and tucked it behind, exposing my chest and
abs. I grabbed a fistful of my own erection and began pumping in rhythm to
William's sounds of self discovery. I imagined his reaction as the little
pleasure gasps grew louder and more rapid. I could see in my mind's eye,
his body going stiff and his toes curled. When the sounds stopped, I knew
it was the moment of climax. I pulled the skin of my dick down tight to
force the onslaught of my own eruption and Little Rock complied nicely. I
let out my own deep gasp as hot, white cum spewed across my chest. I
projected the glowing chills of the after party I was feeling onto William
and hoped he enjoyed his experience as much as I just enjoyed my own.

      I wiped up, flushed and returned to his room. When I opened his door,
he was still lying there, hands to the side and breathing heavily. There
was a satisfied look on his face as though he'd eaten his first Snicker's
bar. His first post surgical, pain free orgasm was now behind him. "Oh,
sorry," I said backing out of the door. "I thought you were finished."

      "I have completed the task at hand. You may freely enter. I am not
ashamed for my brother to witness me so exposed," he stated plainly. "In
fact, your return is most opportune. I was just contemplating the most
efficient method of cleaning up."

      I quickly pulled some tissues from a box and wiped his belly clean
then dabbed carefully at his now limp dick. I pulled his briefs up and over
his midsection for him. I helped also with his slacks and he sat up. He
smiled at me said, "Do you think children's test scores can be directly
correlated to the amount of funding per pupil?"

      I started to laugh and he had no idea why. His mom came home just
then and asked if I could stay for dinner. I reflected on an image of the
cat licking dried food off pans stacked in the sink, and I imagined hurting
her feelings if I couldn't eat whatever fattening fare she might whip up
knowing I had to make weight. I politely declined the offer saying I needed
to be getting home. William rode with to deliver me and we all chatted
freely and pleasantly again. I asked Mrs. Thames if she would do me a favor
by stopping at Hatfield's Nursery along the way home where I purchased a
container of ice plant. I congratulated William on his successful surgery
and we bumped knuckles. I thanked Mrs. Thames for the ride and she offered
her condolences for Sam.

      I walked in to find an empty home. I sent dad a text asking when he
would be home. "Late" was the curt reply. "No problem. I'm fine. Love you."
I supposed he was into something thorny that involved someone's living or
dying. I was a little sensitive to that need at the moment, so I held no
grudge. I started to go to my room, but then didn't want to, being alone in
the house. Instead, I stripped naked in the library and did a couple
hundred sit-ups and fifty pushups. Afterward, I grabbed a yogurt and a
banana and plopped in front of the TV and started surfing the channels. I
settled on Animal Planet.

      My phone finally buzzed. I'd checked it during every commercial in
hopes Scotty would call. "Hey!" I said with excited anticipation.

      "Hey is for horses, you prefer upside down bananas, I've heard," he
shot back.

      "Shut-up! Are you coming over?"

      "Yeah in about a half hour. I have to finish my math."

      "Cool! Hey, I really appreciate this. Thanks."

      "No problem. I'm glad to help. See you soon."

      "K. Later. Oh, wait; write down the code to get in." I gave him the
code and explained which house would be mine after they entered the gate.

      I took my clothes upstairs and put them in the laundry basket. I
pulled on a pair of shorts but no underwear. I glanced at my unmade bed and
scurried back to the family room. It seemed like hours before the doorbell
sounded. I met Scotty and his mother at the door. Scotty was wearing a
t-shirt and shorts and flip flops even though it was already getting cool
at night and he looked underdressed. "Are you certain this is okay with
your father?" she asked.

      "Yes, Mrs. Simons, here check out his text. I popped open my phone
and navigated to the saved message. "He's hung up with a bad medical
problem and may be home real late. He's glad I have someone with me and so
am I."

      "I see. All right then." She pulled me into a hug and pressed me into
her large, soft breasts. She patted my back and told me how sorry she felt
for me losing such a dear friend in Sam. It was so nice to feel a mother's
love and sympathy. I fought hard to control my overactive tear ducts. "Be
good," she admonished Scotty, who rolled his eyes and shooed her out the
door.

      "Dude, thanks for coming. I didn't want to be here alone tonight, and
I immediately thought about you," I said. "Especially, sleeping by myself
in the bed he died in." Tears threatened to emerge again and I felt myself
trembling slightly.

      Scotty dropped his gear bag and stepped over to me. Without speaking,
he pulled me into a hug. I cried softly but not for sadness this time. I
cried in appreciation at his tender concern. I twisted my head and wiped my
trickling tears on his t-shirt. Scotty slipped his hands from my bare back
and slid them out from under my arms and up to my face.  He rubbed the
remainder of the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs and stared
compassionately into my eyes.

      "I'm sorry for being a crybaby," I said embarrassed.

      "Dude, it's okay to cry at times like these. You're not a crybaby.
I've seen you endure serious pain in wrestling without tears. I'd cry too
if I lost my dog. You're supposed to." Then it happened.

#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#

I hope you have enjoyed this chapter, in spite of its sad parts. Kyle has
undergone significant events that shape his future. If you're wondering
what it is that happened, keep checking for chapter 16 and find out. Emails
appreciatively accepted at h.schreiber@hushmail.com Thanks for reading.