Date: Tue, 29 Jan 2002 18:14:35 -0600
From: james smith <boyzheart@hotmail.com>
Subject: Ronnie Series

Ronnie (Chapter 9)

Disclaimer:  This is a work of fiction depicting teenage males in romantic
and/or sexual positions and activity.  The people depicted in this story may
or may not really exist (many characters may have distant ties to the
memories of my past).

If you are under 18 years of age (or whatever the legal age in your area is)
you must leave.  If you find this material offensive, you should not be
reading this story.  If you choose to continue . . . you have been warned,
and I trust you to make your own wise choices.

Thanks for all the email on the last chapter - by far the hardest for me to
write (they never said it was going to be so difficult when I signed on this
outfit).  Your support and encouragement is incredible.  I have reason to
suspect that not all the email I sent in return was received by you - so, if
you wrote to me and did not get a response - it is because it failed, not
that I didn't try.  If you think this is the case with a response you sent,
please try again, it means a lot to me for you to know that I read each
letter and ALWAYS write back.

I welcome any and all comments to the story, or for anyone who just wants a
friend to talk with.  Please feel free to contact me at
boyzheart@hotmail.com with any comments or suggestions.


Previously . . .

When it was over he collapsed on top of me and almost immediately we passed
out.  Both of us were spent beyond recovery and never knew that anyone was
watching as we drifted off to sleep . . .

Dad quietly tugged Mike and Nellie's elbows, pulling them from the doorway
as he shut the door gently.  "Leave them alone boys . . . they've been
through enough, let them be.  Come with me . . . we have a few things to
talk about," he said as he put his enormous arms around each of their necks
and escorted them down the stairs.


Chapter 9

The warmth between us as we lay together was awesome.  Somehow his body was
hotter than normal.  For that matter so was mine.  It was as if the intimacy
we shared caused our entire bodies to become heaters.  I don't remember
being so warm and  . . . well . . so loved.  My mind was reveling in the
sensations and feelings from the past hours, but the plaguing voices in my
head were waking and started their chain rattling.

I mused to myself that they must only take power naps - I never remember
them being silent for long at a time.  The thought occurred that if I could
just figure what it was that put them I power-nap mode - I could go there
all the time and keep them permanently put down.  Ahh .. that would be nice
- an entire day without the clamoring and confusion so many voices brought.

"Ah Shut -up," I heard one of them say, "Ya know ya like it dweeb - so sit
down and shut up!"  Shit . . that's what I need, my own ego with an attitude
against me - good grief!

Somehow this lunacy brought me out of blissful slumber to the nagging
thought that a hundred pound weight was pressing down on me.  My muscles
were stiff and I needed to move, but couldn't I was pinned down.  Opening my
eyes and blinking the fog away, I realized just why and a smile came to my
lips.  I reached over with my left hand and stroked his warm sweet body.  I
loved the feel of the softness and tenderness of his supple skin, but at the
same time you could feel the powerful muscles and strength just under that
velvet blanket - so tanned . .  and full of that luscious smell of him.

I traced lines from his shoulder past his pecs and rib line down to the
joining of his waist and hips.  Carefully I reached as far down as I could
to hold his butt for a few moments before the screaming muscles in my back
demanded that I shift positions.

Ever so gently I began to work my way out from under him.  I hated to move,
and didn't want to disturb him.  Finally I was on my side and my head
propped on my arm.  I studied his every feature; the soft lines of his face,
the beginnings of facial hair as it began to darken from peach fuzz to sexy,
the sensuous lips that always seemed moist and ready for a kiss, his dark
eyebrows that were the same color of his pubes.  Not many would ever know
this secret about him - outside of boys in the locker room - but they
weren't supposed to be looking now were they?  Every time from now on when I
look at his eyebrows, I will think of someplace else!

His breathing was slow and rhythmic, the tranquility of sleep evident on his
face.  There was a slight knowing smile on his lips, a smile that said, "I
know your looking at me even though I'm asleep."

As we were so intense earlier and passed out so soon afterwards, we never
managed to pull the blankets up over us, so now could see all of him in his
glory - I drank it all in, memorizing every detail, every freckle, every
contour, every mound and crevice of his Adonis-like body.  The youth of him
so evident, but the power and grace of the adult he would become were
stunning as I watched him sleep.  All too soon I realized that I needed some
bladder relief.  Man .. .I didn't want to leave his side.

But alas . . .I carefully scooted off the bed with my eyes glued to him lest
I wake him.  After I stood I went over to Mike's bed and pulled his blanket
off and brought it over to cover my angel.  I just pulled it up to cover a
portion of his hips and legs, leaving the rest of his body exposed.  I
didn't know if I was doing that to keep from rousing him, or because I
wanted to stare at his nakedness more - probably the latter.  I sighed
rather deeply and turned to make my way to the bathroom.

I grabbed the doorknob and before opening the door, took one last glance
over my shoulder to my lover.  "Oh God, I love you Ronnie Webster," I said
out loud as I turned the knob and pulled the door open.  I took one step
into the hall and nearly fainted.

There just outside the threshold of the room was Dad with his hand raised as
if to knock on the now open door.  Ordinarily - this is no biggie.  Dad
always rapped on the door with the knuckle of one finger and poked his head
in slightly to let us know it was time to get up and stuff - he never just
barged in.  Mom, of course, never came up here, so we pretty much had our
privacy - so much as two teens sharing the same room have privacy.

Ordinarily - no prob. . . but ordinarily I was not standing n the doorway
naked with a woody.  Ordinarily there would not be a naked sexy 14 year old
boy in the same bed I just climbed out of sporting a hard-on.  Ordinarily
there wouldn't be the funky odor of boy-sex so pungent in the air (okay -
maybe the smell of a couple of guys whacking off last night - but not THIS
smell).  All told - I was in big SHIT!!!!!  No way I could deny my way outta
this crap.

Instinctively I recoiled at Dad's raised hand, throwing my arms up in a
defensive manner.   Never mind that Dad had never hit me before out of anger
- okay?!  He had never caught his youngest son in the act (almost in the
act) of being intimate with another boy before either.  I couldn't help but
feel that he was about to pound the living shit out of me.

As I recoiled I stumbled backwards at an alarming rate, tripping over my
goddamn shoes and falling on my ass.  The momentum kept me back peddling
until I was clear against the back wall.   By this time I was in a full
state of hysteria and had my knees and arms drawn up in a feeble attempt to
defend myself and was crying uncontrollably.  Dad was a big, big man - truck
driver type; 6'-2", 240 lbs with strong bulging muscles everywhere;  but his
size did not slow him down one iota.  He was immediately there towering over
me and reaching for me.  I began swinging wildly and screaming to the very
top of my lungs.  I wasn't screaming anything nearly coherent - just sheer
terror.

All the fears of seven years of my own known homosexuality exploded out of
my subconscious like a nuclear explosion.  In a single heartbeat an ugly
mushroom cloud of all the hatred, the hitting, and kicks I had ever
experienced came boiling over; the ugly mean stares, the whispers, and
laughing; all the taunting; the voices, the confusion, the frustrations, the
anxiety - all mixing and boiling together producing the most enormous
emotional meltdown humanly possible.

I was wailing, and shrieking, swinging wildly at the air, tears and snot
streaming down my face.  It was horrible.  Absolutely horrible.  I thought
Dad was swinging at me and I desperately tried to dodge and avoid his blows.
  Ricky beating on me was one thing, Roger and Gene pulverizing me another
thing- - - but this was my FATHER!  He's supposed to love me and protect me.
  He is supposed to make all this shit go away!  One blow from this man
would shatter my entire world - all that was left of the stability I was
desperately hanging on to - one blow and it would crumble to pieces around
me leaving me desperate and broken as well.

I could feel his powerful hands on me now, pulling, lifting, holding.  "Oh
God," my soul cried inside, "Why didn't you let Roger kill me?  Why does it
have to be Daddy????"

His strength was far more then I could overcome or resist.  (It kinda felt
like a target of the Borg on Star Trek:  "Resistance is Futile!").

Strangely he had pulled me deep into his arms. He was no longer looming over
me like a Dark Lord, but he was down here on the floor with me.  I had been
lifted up and onto his lap and my arms securely wrapped up in his stronger,
more manly ones.  He was swaying back and forth holding me like a baby and
now I could feel his tears on the top of my head as his face was pressed
firmly on top of my head as he rocked.  I realized that I was not being
beaten.  I was being held . . .held . . . and rocked like a baby.  Dad
wasn't hitting me, he was holding me!

The screaming and yelling wasn't him . . it was me.  The horror of who I am
wasn't his, it was mine.  All the fears of these long years of torments -
finally coming to a desperate crescendo - and here he is, rocking, holding,
crying, loving me.

Even with this realization I continued to cry.  The struggling stopped,
because it was futile, and I was exhausted; but the crying was unstoppable.
I wept and cried for an eternity then.  I wept for the innocent boy I was,
for the confused teenager I am, for the pain of it all, the terror of being
discovered  - discovered and rejected.  I cried for the uncertainty of the
future.  I really don't know how long I stayed there in his arms - but it
most surely was twenty minutes - but could have been hours.

After the sobbing began to subside and the water works had ebbed to a
moderate level, Dad shifted slightly to lower his face down to mine.  He
pulled us apart and looked into my eyes.  He had piercing blue eyes - Dad
did.  Only at that moment did I realize that Ronnie and Dad had exactly the
same color eyes - one of God's little good humor things I guess.

I saw tears and hurt in his eyes and I was confused.  I was the one hurting
here - what the hell did he have to hurt about - except a gay kid in his
arms I mean.

"Andy," he said, his voice softer an gentler then I had ever heard it, "Why
did you think I would hit you.  My God son, what could possibly make you be
afraid of me."  Those tears I saw fell from his eyes, but he didn't blink.

"Dad!" I said almost incredulously, "Don't you get it?  I'M GAY!!!" I
yelled.

"And so what makes you afraid of me?" he questioned.  "Have I ever hurt you?
  Have I ever laughed at you, or made fun of you?  Have you ever heard me
ridicule anyone different from everyone else?"  There was firmness and
probing in his questions.  He wasn't reciting some credo - this was
important to him.

"Andy, listen to me and listen good.  I love you - just as you are.  I don't
always understand you.  I hardly ever completely agree with you - but I
always love you.  You have to trust that more than anything in the entire
universe.  Everyone in the world may be against you - but your mother, your
brother, and I will always be on your side.

"I have known for years that you are more sensitive and different from
others.  I never said anything to you because this is something that you
have to come to terms with yourself.  Andy, it's not me that hates you -
it's you that are confused about who you are.  I have known since you were
13 or so that you might be gay.  I have made sure your mom and I have made
it easy for you and Mike to find out about yourselves in a loving and
controlled home; one not filled with hate and meanness.

"You don't know the hours we have stayed awake at nights thinking, talking
and praying for you.  Sure, we wanted grandkids, and wanted to watch you two
raise a family and pass on our heritage - but that is our dream.  But your
life is yours to live, and not mine.  Your happiness is what I want son.
Your mother has provided my happiness, her and you two boys.  Now you and
Mike have to concentrate on being the best you can and being true to
yourself.

"If being true to yourself means admitting that you're are gay - then admit
it," he stopped and was looking deep into my soul.

I was way beyond being able to trust my mouth to respond, so I just snuggled
again into his arms.  He sensed the need for the embrace and replaced his
arms around me bear hug style and just held me.

A thought swept across my mind and I wiggled free enough to look up at him.
"Daddy?"  (Yes, I called him that most times and I don't really care if you
like it or not - okay!)

"Yes Bud?"

"What you said about Mike . . ?"

""Shh," he said as he pressed my head back toward his chest and continued
his rocking, "Shh . . .Yes. . Buddy, I know about him too."

***********************

The door creaked a bit as it opened ever so slightly and I saw three sets of
eyes peering around it all stacked like raccoons in a row.

"Get out you perv's!" I said.
The door bound the rest of the way open and all my favorite buds came
tumbling into the room atop one another.  Giggling broke out into laughter
and soon all of us were swept up in the relief that only laughter can bring.

Dad pulled me up off the floor and moved me towards the bed and just as I
was about to sit down Ronnie came zooming across the room and tackled me
down on the bed and squeezed me really tight.  Then he sat up and punched me
on the shoulder - hard.

"Ouch!" I said, rubbing the welt.  "What's that for?"

"For scaring the shit outta me!" he exclaimed, then remembering my Dad was
still in the room and wincing from his choice of words and his ears turning
right red - he added, "Don't EVER DO THAT AGAIN!"

Giggles erupted again, followed by a renewed fit of laughter.  Soon the room
was abuzz with a dozen different versions of the story.  Finally Dad spoke
up during a breathing lull.

"Okay guys, here's the drill.  Now that I got you all here and we're all
okay, I want to lay down a few ground rules."

Mike grabbed Nellie by the hand ad they came over to the bed and sat down.
Ronnie and I shifted to make room.  Once we had all settled Dad stated the
pacing thing in front of us and laid out his plan.  One he was on a roll
like this  - you just had to ride it out.  This was his "God given role as a
Father" drill- - we knew it well.  I won't bother you with all the details -
you can imagine most of what he said - but here is a sampling:

"No kissing in public or when we have company.  I wouldn't let you be
hanging all over a girl - I won't let you do it with a boy - got it?"  Nods
in agreement.

"No anal sex until your 18.  Period.  Got it?"

Ronnie and I just looked at each other.

He raised his hand in the all to familiar, "I don't want to know" gesture.

"Don't tell me about what you've done - I'm telling you what your gonna do -
got it?"

"Yes sir!" in unison

"No late night sex stuff during school nights.  I won't tell you no beating
off or anything because your gonna do that - but, lights out at normal times
and that means lights out - and sleep!  Got it!"

"Now," He continued, "Andy has missed a lot of school and has way more to
catch up on then is feasible if he is going to stay with his class.  Mike
you and Nellie have told me how much you have to work out between you."  All
four of us looked at each other with blank stares.

"Nellie, Ronnie, your mother and Wanda (my Momma) and I  have talked and
decided this morning how things are going to be for a while - but you have
to follow our rules, or all bets are off - got it?"  He waited until we each
nodded in ascent, then continued.

"Mike, you are going to move in to Ronnie's room at the Webster's till the
end of the school term.  Ronnie you are going to move into here with Andy
and stay with him and help him get better and get caught up with his school
work - got it?"

We couldn't believe what we were hearing - and this was from Dad!  We all
jumped up from the bed and starting jumping up and down and hugging like a
bunch of schoolgirls.

"Alright," he said with a huge-assed grin on his face, "Alright, calm down
you bunch of ninnies!  Just you remember, we are placing a lot of confidence
in you - don't let us down.  The first time - mind you - that we catch you
breaking these rules and we go back to the other arrangements - got it?"

"Oh Yes, yes!" we all jumbled our euphoria into another round of jumping and
hugging.  For once small moment - everything was right in my life - perfect.

********************************

Author's note:  Perfection does not happen often in life - cease it when you
see it, relish it, share it, and always remember it.  It is those moments
and occasions that make life the thrill that it is.  I have discovered that
those perfect moments are never ones we manipulate or orchestrate - but are
spontaneous and I believe they are Providential or Divinely granted.


That's the end of this chapter.  This is a bit shorter, but it does leave us
at a natural break.  Thanks for hanging with me this far.  Contact me at
boyzheart@hotmail.com with comments, suggestions or conversation.


-Andy