Date: Tue, 5 Jan 2016 14:45:17 -0600
From: Zach Pancakes <zachthepancake@gmail.com>
Subject: Rule the World 6 - Peek A Boo

Disclaimer: There are gays (and said gays will eventually have sex), leave
if you're allergic or sensitive to that kind of thing. This is a ficticious
story, and if someone resembles you that's awesome but unintentional.

Donate to Nifty, it's because of them that you're reading this!

http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html
___

Rule the World  6 - Peek-A-Boo

By Zach Pancakes

___

Few things are as scary as a bunch of teenagers throwing a wild party. In
Connor's mind, at least. After receiving his friends' support on going to
the event, he had decided to read 'Partying 101' to get ready for the
occasion.

Which may have been a terrible mistake.

Zach poked Connor's heavily plated samurai hip. No response. Get it
together, Zach! He's in full armor. Sheesh.

Zach puffed his cheeks. Talking it is. "Shogun? You're spacing out. We
going in or what?" Connor shivered.

"Y-Yes. It's just...After studying about the whole social aspect of
parties, I can't help bu-" Addy groaned and dragged him by the arm into the
house. Connor tried to resist, but Addy's fit as fuck.

When they stepped in inside, Zach gasped in disbelief. "T-This is...!"

Connor blinked a lot. Tilted his head, even. "This is surprisingly
normal. Severely lacking in ignited furniture, even."

The group couldn't understand why, but they all felt severely
disappointed. Yes, there was music and people dressed as vampires, ghouls
and whatever. But they were all talking like normal human beings.

Zach crossed his arms. "Bummer! People told me I was moving to the 'Wildest
Parties Block'! There's not even puke on the floor."

Addy shot him a glare, as Connor sighed with relief. "Well, I am more than
glad that not everything in books is rea-"

Then three turtle-costumed guys burst forth from the closed door leading to
the open area behind the house. The music suddenly got louder, and
undistinguishable electronica sounds filled the room.

Zach whistled. "I see there's some like-minded geniuses."

Connor and Addy eyed each other. Then Zach. Then the other turtles. Then
Zach. Then they noticed the other turtles were approaching them at alarming
speed.

One of them began running. "FUCK YEAH MORE TURTLES!" Zach shrieked as if he
had stepped on a cockroach. They were running towards him!

He bolted out from whence he came, screaming like a little girl. As Zach
left the house, the pack of turtles went after him.

It was Addy's turn to whistle. "You know, they're pretty fast for a bunch
of turtles."

Connor was panicking. "A-Addy!? What just happened!? What if Zach gets
hurt? Where did they even go? We have to DO something! The book WAS right!
I knew this sword would come in handy-"

Addy patted Connor. "Dude. It's okay! It's just turtles. And mostly
karma. What can they even..." But the turtle trio returned, carrying Zach
over their shoulders and doing ironical gorilla noises. Happy was not the
proper adjective to describe how he felt.

Shouting was all he could do. "GUYS HELP ME. EVERYTHING WENT WRONG! I DON'T
WANT TO BE A TURTLE ANYMORE!" And they disappeared into the crowd out in
the patio.

Addy scratched her head. "Er. See? He's fine! He's making friends."

It was Connor's turn to pout. "No! I can not abandon him, not in this
wasteland! I only made it this far because of you two, and I shall make
sure we get out alive!"

Addy blinked. A lot. "Um. Connor? This is a Halloween party. It's just
drinks and kids our age. You're getting way into this samurai thing you've
got going on."

Connor grumbled. Maybe. He had spent the day before watching samurai films
to gather courage. They were cool, alright?

But still, he couldn't sit still. "Please? I don't wish for him to be
hurt."

Addy wanted to say 'Aww'. But Connor probably wouldn't appreciate
it. Regardless, she felt it was a pretty cute thing to say...how could she
refuse?

Addy sighed. "Fine, fine. Let's go save him and whatever."

Connor nodded, and they began their glorious march towards the turtle
dungeon. Until Addy saw him. An incredibly fit lumberjack, with chest hair
of the gods.

And yet, a smooth jaw, a face with soft features, not even stubble could be
seen. Green eyes that matched her own contrasting with black, slightly
curly hair.

A god. His arms, toned through hard labour and training would lift her up
as if she was feathers, and they would look into each other's eyes as a
slow smile crept between their lips. Waves and seagulls in the background,
the smell of summer...the smell of passion. And then-

Connor shook her. "Addy! Addy! Are you alright? You're drooling. It's been
minutes and you won't move!"

Addy jolted back into reality. "Shit. I mean, yeah. I mean. Yeah? Look!
Look at him. He's a god. He's a person, right? Not a statue?"

Connor was just flabbergasted. Like, come on. Drooling at things was Zach's
job! Was she just filling in the gaps? Did nature balance things so?

"What about friendship, unbreakable bonds and the whole speech that got me
to come here?"

"His chest hair is shining in the moonlight, Connor."

Connor stomped the ground "Addy! We're indoors!"

Addy sighed. Groaned. An unholy combination of both. "God, fine! Friendship
is so overrated. Let's split up and look for him."

Connor's eyes narrowed, glaring at her through the tiny gaps in his
helmet. "You're not going to 'search for him' in that guy's vicinity, am I
right?"

Addy rolled her eyes. "You're such a killjoy. I'll check the patio's east,
you take the west."

Connor nodded, and he prepared to venture into the unknow-

"Oh yeah, take this. It came with the costume." Addy flung a walkie-talkie
at Connor, who yelped in surprise and let it fall to the floor, where it
shattered into tiny pieces. Some of the teens surrounding them stopped to
look and laugh, and then walked away.

There was silence. Connor wanted to say something, but Addy fucking
decimated that plan with a swift lifting of her pimp hand. "...I can't do
this right now."

Addy walked through the door, leaving Connor alone. That small incident
aside, he was now actually ready to go rescue Zach from his reptile
oppressors.

Or so he thought. But Connor didn't move. If it was not for the armor's
weight, everyone would be able to see him slightly shake in his boots...Did
samurai wear boots?

He noticed people passing by him, but nothing bad had happened. Some had
even acted impressed by his attire. Was it that they didn't really mind?
No, that could not be it. He had become friends with Zach through getting
punched, after all. Then why?

Connor looked around. He recognized a few of his classmates' faces. They
were all minding their own business. Was he invisible? No, his costume was
of a quality too high for that.

That was it! His costume! Nobody saw him as Connor, the phantom! He was now
a Valiant Samurai, defender of the Shogun's honour, wielder of an entire
culture and tradition!

Connor's eyes flew open. He was genuinely pumped up. "I CAN MOST DEFINITELY
DO THIS! PROBABLY!"

A samurai's journey began with but a single step. Or in Connor's case, a
leap. Rushing through the door, he was ready for anything!  Until his
shoulders were grasped by an unknown figure, and he was turned
around. Violently. By an overly happy-looking pink-haired girl. Why were
all girls in this school so god damn strong? W-Was he just a wimp?

Her smile turned into a grin. "WOW! Wowza wow! Look at YOU piece of fine
ancient craftsmanship!"

Their eyes locked. Connor knew her all too well. It was Ericka Plight, the
host of this party. Despite her elaborate magical girl costume, there was
an universal constant he could not help but notice ever since their first
class of PE.

They were the same height. And perhaps his realization was reflected
through the ocean in his eyes, because Ericka's eyes portrayed shock as
well.

"Connor!?"

Welp. So much for the clever disguise.

___

"Unhand me! Unhand me you beasts! Where are we even going!?"

Zach kept struggling against his kidnappers, who kept singing and jogging
through the patio. They weren't going anywhere. In fact, they had been
going in circles for a few minutes.

One of them shouted as they laid Zach on the ground. "WOOO! THE RITUAL'S
COMPLETE!"

Zach was used to some weird shit, given how he himself wasn't the most sane
of people. But what the fuck were these turtle guys? Damn it, he didn't
have time for this! Connor needed his emotional support!

A voice echoed through the air. "Alright boys, party's over! Get the fuck
going!"

The turtles jumped in their place. "FUCK! IT'S THE POLICE!" And so, they
ran away from authority. From responsibility, maturity...sanity...they ran
away from it all. It was really dramatic.

Zach was hella relieved, he hadn't been happier since that time he saw
Connor across the street! "Addy! My main g! You so chose the right costume
tonight!"

Addy helped him up from the ground. "Ugh. Come on Zach, let's find Connor
so I can go make out with the lumberjack."

Zach gasped. "Lumberjack? Was he really hot? Can I kiss him too?"

Addy was about to punch him in the shoulder, but he gasped again in a way
more overblown fashion. "WAIT! You left Connor alone!? Are you NUTS?"

Addy shrugged. "He was the one who said we had to save you from harmless
overdosed turtles."

Zach blushed through his mask. Aww. He did? Golly, he was so embarassed
right now. "Hehehe, really? God I love that idio- I mean we have to find
him!"

She shook her head. "Yeah. Come on, let's go before they figure out his
sword is real or something."

But as Zach made his way to the west side he realized it was too late. They
knew. Connor's sword was real. And it had already been drawn...No! Stop
daydreaming Zach, holy shit.

The duo forced their way among crowds of vampires, nurses, animals, plants,
figures of authority, the one guy Addy wanted to make out with and even a
toaster- until they spotted the familiar samurai suit.

Zach tackled him. "Connor! Holy shit, you're alive!"

But Zach was split apart from his half-japanese warrior by Ericka, the
cockblocking magical girl!

"Hey, what's up with you, turtle dude? I'm having a cultural exchange
here!"

Addy recognized Ericka... her obnoxious costume, obnoxious face aand
obnoxiously large melons. "Sorry. We were looking for Connor everywhere! We
were worried and all."

Ericka chuckled. "Worried, why? Connor's fantastic! He's like a walking
trivia book!"

Addy and Zach eyed up Connor. He seemed to be embarassed, but thankfully in
one piece. He just shrugged.

Ericka struck a pose, before she left. "Well! I've got to go check all the
other incredible costumes! Thanks for coming, guys!"

And so, she walked away.

There was a brief silence, broken after Connor wiped off sweat from his
brow.

"She seems to have forgotten she did not invite me."

_____

After drinking copious amounts of punch, the friends decided to leave. Not
much point in staying up too late, anyways. Addy and Zach were pleased,
given no one actually got hurt or broke anything, which waas kind of a
miracle by this point. The adventure was aa success, for all intents and
purposes.

Connor took off his shogun mask, unable to take the heat anymore, and shot
his friends his most sincere smile. Zach almost became pudding.

"Thank you. I had fun. There's some stuff that bothers me,
honestly...but...I enjoyed myself. I think I even made a friend. You both
helped make it possible."

Addy tried to play it cool, scratching her cheek with a sly 'It's
nothing!', but Zach was already on his second tackle of the night, letting
him know how happy, proud, and all that sappy stuff he was.

Addy actually couldn't help but giggle, she thought it was a really cute
sight. Cute. ...cute.

"Fuck! I forgot about the Lumberjack! Argh! You fucking owe your life to
me, Zach!"

Addy scrambled her hair and groaned in frustration as Zach laughed, which
rippled to making Connor laugh softly as well. Friendship wasn't overrated
at all! He cherished, now more than ever, the two batshit insane people
that reached out to him.

When they parted their own ways, Connor couldn't help but feel sad that he
wasn't being hugged anymore.

_____

Follow new submissions in this story by staying in a time chamber for 7
months (sorry about that).

You can also follow @Pancake_Zach, if that's your thing.

E-mails are appreciated! Constructive criticism over anything, yeah? Good
day everyone!