Date: Wed, 8 Jun 2005 16:05:32 EDT
From: Wdreamtime@aol.com
Subject: SAD SONG OF A GAY TEEN 2
This story is copyright 2005 by Paul Walker.You may not copy or post it to
anyother web site wiyhout my permission.The story will contain sex scenes
between teen males so if you underage to be reading this please leave
now.All comments on the stoory canbe e-mailed to wdreamtime@aol.com.
Sad song of a gay teen , part two by Paul Walker
Shortly after Phil had left,my grandad showed up."Hi Jim,"Gary said."Sorry
but is it ok to call you Jim?"
"Of course."Grandad looked at me"well you look as if you've really been in
the wars."
"And the enemy won," i added."Hows grandma?"
"She had finally got to sleep when i left her.Oh and heres your
computer."
"Thanks,grandad!"
"So how are you after your ordeal?"
"You don't have to skirt around the issue,i was raped and thats all
there is to it.It happend because i'm gay and ,yes ,mum and dad did know as
i had told them about a year ago.They seemed ok with it.I know you
shouldn't have to find out like this but i hope you still want to have me
as a grandson now you do know.I'm still very sore in alot of places but the
doctor was here just before you arrived and he said everything should heal
up ok in a few weeks . The mental scars will take alot longer.How are you
coping?"
"When the police turned up, we thought it may have something to do
with you but when they told us about Sandra and Colin(my parents),we just
broke down and cried forever.Then they told us about you and that was even
worse,we just couldn't understand why anyone would do such a thing to our
only grandson,who would never hurt anyone.This just shows what an evil
world we live in.It doesn't matter that you are gay,we still love you and
want you to live with us when they let you out.Anyway,is there anyone
special in your life?"
I looked at Gary who just nodded at me,"well there has been for the
last few hours.Gary is the one who found me and he was here when they took
me to the operating theatre.Just before they took me off he told me that he
was gay and that if i needed a friend then i had one.It was nice to see him
when i woke up at 5am ,he was holding my hand.Anyway we talked and i asked
him if he would be my boyfriend and he said yes.We even got chance to
kiss."
By now Gary had gone bright red and i just said "hey, buddy, sorry if i
embarrassed you."
"Its ok,"he said
"That was a bit more information than i wanted but i hope it works ouy
for you two.And Gary,you are welcome at our house anytime.We can never
repay you enough for the way you helped Jason."Grandad smiled at both of
us.
At this point i suddenly had a thought which made me laugh a little and
brought a big grin to my face
"Its good to see you grining like that but whats so funny?"grandad
asked.
"I just realized that Gary really is my knight in shining
armour."Grandad and i both laughed at this comment but Gary was bright red
again."Shit,"i thought to myself,i must stop doing that.
Grandad said that he had to go as he had to make a start on the
funeral arrangements and he also had to go and see Joe Littler,mum and dads
lawyer, as there was alot of legal stuff to sort out."The lawyer is going
to need to talk to you as well."
"Tell him to come and see me tommorow,i may as well deal with it
sooner rather than later.And grandad,i love you.Tell grandma that i love
her as well."
"I'll come back and see you later and bring grandma aswell,i know she
wants to see you."
After grandad left, a nurse came in to tell me that profressor Thomas
was outside and wanted to talk to me."I don't want that fucking asshole
anywhere near me.Not now and not in a million fucking years.He knew i was
being bullied and did jack shit about it and now i'm lying in hospital
having been raped and its all his fucking fault.He killed my parents
too.Tell him to just fuck off and leave me alone."After that i wanted to
cry again but couldn't as i had cried so much already that i don't think i
had anymore tears left.
Gary took one look at me and said "I'll go and see him."
The nurse agreed to stay with me while Gary was gone ,as i told them
both that i did not want to be left alone.Not even for a second.
A few minutes later Gary returned and i just told him"what ever that
fucking bastard told you to tell me,i don't want to hear it,he is just as
guilty as the scum that raped me."
The nurse then said"I;m sorry about everything thats happend to you.My
name is Anne Murrey and if there is anything i can do, let me know."
"You can stop being fucking sorry for a start.Sorry won't bring mum
and dad back will it?"I breathed heavily for a few minutes and then added"i
appologise for my outburst and use of bad language but i'm fucking sick of
people telling me that they're sorry.It just doesn't help, at all.Now,
unless by some use of strange magic you can bring my parents back then fuck
off."I was begining to feel really bad about my irrational outbursts buy
,hey,i was thirteen and had just been to hell and back..........a thousand
times.Sure,everyone wanted to help me get over this but it wasn't going to
be easy and everyone saying sorry all the time really wasn't helping me,at
all.At least the police woman who came to see me had the guts to use the
word rape when she talked to me and she didn't once use the word sorry.That
came as a slight relief.As it was ,i couldn't tell the police much more
than they already knew.She showed me some photographs of the boys that had
been arrested and i confirmed that they where the ones who had attaked
me.That was all she really needed to know.She told me that they had enough
evidence to go through with a conviction and enough witnesses to testify
against those evil monsters.As she was about to leave she looked at me and
was about to speak.
"If you are going to say you are sorry about my parents, then don't
fucking bother.I'm just sick of everyone using that word.It doesn't fucking
help me and it certainly won't bring mum and dad back, will it.Please don't
waste your breath."After that, she left but she did give Gary a number
where i could contact her if i needed to.
The rest of the morning was spent getting to know Gary a bit better. I also
told him alot of stuff about me.At about eleven thirty i needed to go to
the toilet.Having a piss wasn't a problem but i needed to crap and i wasn't
sure how i could do that,not with dressings and stiches in my butt.Gary
went and got the nurse.It was Anne,again."I didn't think you would be back
again so soon,not after the way i spoke to you."
"As far as everyone here is concered you have a right to just say what
you want.Your emotions must be really messed up right now and i have a job
to do and from what your friend has told me,so do you.Will you be ok to
walk to the bathroom?Its only next door."
Anne helped me out of bed and i tried to take a few steps but it was too
painful.Anne disappeared and came back with a wheelchair and Gary said he
would take me to the bathroom.When we got back to my room,Anne was waiting
to clean me up and change my dressings.She asked Gary if he wanted to wait
outside but he asked if he could watch what she was doing so that he could
take me to the bathroom and then do the cleaning up as well.Anne seemed to
think that that was a really cool idea.
As i lay there getting my butt cleaned,the door opend and i heard
someone say,"wow,i'm gonna have to check into this hotel,you even get
somone to clean you're ass after having a crap".I knew it was Chris,a
friend from school and i was assuming that Steve was with him,as the two of
them where always together.
"Hi Chris"i said without looking round."Its no fun having to crap when
you have 35 stiches in there.Is Steve with you?"
"I sure am,"Steve rsponded." So hows it going?Hey so......."
I knew what he was about to say and so i cut him off "Don't even
bother to say sorry.......about anything.I'm pissed off with people saying
that and it won't bring my parents back,so just don't fucking bother."
Gary said to them"i don't know you two but if you are friends of
Jason then you are my friends too.He keeps having these outbursts, so
you'll just have to put up with it.I don't think anyone can know how he
really feels at the moment."I really did appreciate that coming from Gary
but it really was an understatement.Even i didn't know how i was supposed
to feel as no one can really prepare you for what i had been through and
especially not when you are thirteen.
Anne finished cleaning me up and said that if needed anything, that i
only had to call.
"I wanna thank you for being so tolerant over my earlier outburst,"i
said."I don't suppose that you could leave the wheelchair so that my
friends can take me to the cafeteria for lunch?I feel it would be good to
have a change of scene for a while."
"Well, as you are a special case,i think that would be ok,"she said
and then left me to spend some time with my friends.
It was then that i introduced everyone and told them that Gary and i
where now officially boyfriends."So how come you guys aren't at school?"I
asked.
Chris was the first to speak"Hey,congratulations on getting hitched
at last.Its long overdue,you getting a boyfriend.As for us not being at
school,when it got round what had happend to you......."I cut him off at
this point.
"You can come right out with it and say ""raped"",coz thats what
happend"
"Well,after it got round that you had been raped,the teaching staff
went on strike and we can't get into school.We all hung around for a while
this morning to see what was going on and then prof Thomas came back and
said that you wouldn't even let him see you and said that he was
resigning."
"Isn't that big of him."Just the mention of my former headmasters
name was making me feel angry."If it hadn't been for his stupidity my mum
and dad would still be alive.I really do fucking hate him .So why have the
teachers gone on strike anyway?"
"They said that until something is done about introducing more
tolerance into the school over things like religious and sexual
differences, then they are not prepared to do their jobs.Everyone at school
feels that they are partly responsible for you being raped.We all knew that
you where being bullied but anytime you where in trouble we all just walked
away.Everyone, and i do mean everyone should have done more to protect you
better."
"Well you don't need to do anything on my account because i
won't ever be going back there.Thats the one thing i really am sure of at
the moment.Other than that my life is ruined and i do mean ruined."
Up to this point Steve had just sat there taking in the
conversation,"but we do wanna help you tho',we'll do anything for you from
now on.Just tell us what and we'll do it.So how come you are not crying or
something?I mean, if i was in your position, i would just cry forever."
"I've spent so much time crying that i think my tear glands
have stopped working.As Gary said earlier,no one can know how i feel,even i
don't really know how i should feel.Can we go to lunch now?"
Everyone made a big fuss over me and spent alot of time
giving me big hugs.Chris and Steve even thought it was cool when Gary
kissed me.They all helped me into the wheelchair and we headed off for
lunch.I asked the guys to get me a prawn sandwich and some chips"and to
that you can add a couple of creamcakes and a can of coke."
"You fat bastard,"Steve said after i had given them my
order.
While i sat waiting for them to come back with my lunch,a
young doctor came over and introduced himself."Hi,i'm Paul Ashebrooke,you
must be Jason?"
"Thats me but who are you?"
"I'm the doctor who treated you when they first brought
you into the emergency room.So they let your parents bring you out for
lunch then?"
He wasn't to know that he had just made the biggest
mistake of his life until Gary and i looked at each other.Gary must have
known that something wasn't right as he came straight over.By the time Gary
got to the table i was crying again.I remember him saying to Paul"i don;t
know who the hell you are or what you said to him but if you know whats
good for you,get the fuck out of here now.He's been through more shit in
the last twenty four hours than i would want to go through in twenty four
centuries.NOW FUCK OFF!"
"I only asked him if his parents had brought him down here
for lunch.And i do happen to be the doctor who treated him when he first
got here.My name is doctor Paul Ashebrooke and here is my ID.Now could you
tell me what i said to make Jason cry like this?"
"YOU had to go and mention his parents didn't you?"I
could tell that Gary was really angry by the tone in his voice."They never
got here as they got killed in a road traffic accident and its all because
of the stupidity of the former headmaster at our school."
Gary took a hold of me and placed my head on his
shoulder.By this time Steve had joined us and asked"I know i said i would
cry forever if i was in his positon but what the hell triggered this off?"
I knew that Gary was really pissed off and angry when he
said"this asshole only asked him if his parents had brought him down here
to have lunch."
"And just who might this asshole be then?Some fucking
reporter snooping round for a fucking story?You make me sick.My friend gets
assaulted,raped and then has to find out his parents have died in a traffic
accident and you want a fucking story for your cheap paper that i wouldn't
even use to wipe the shit off my arse with.Fuck off before i do something
that i might regret."I had never heard anyone get so angry
before,especially Steve,he never,ever raised his voice.In a strange way it
gave me a sense of hope knowing that my friends really where there for
me........but i still wanted my parents more than anything.
Gary added"Steve, this is the doctor who treated Jase when
he first got here.The doc didn't know about his parents."
Paul took his turn to speak"I'm so......"Gary cut him off.
"I wouldn't say that s word that everyone keeps using
because being SORRY doesn't change a damn thing.Jason has already lost it
with a few people today because they said that word to him."By now Chris
had arrived with the food and after an explanation of what was going on he
came over to me and hugged me and said"trust me,it will get better,please,
just give it time."
I found it hard to believe what Chris had said but it
also made sense.Through my tears i said"sorry everyone,i must look like a
total wimp."
"No one thinks you are a wimp,"Paul intervened,"After
what you've been through you have every right to be an emotional wreck.You
know, you can get help to deal with this."He handed me a card with a phone
number on it and added" just give that number a call when you want to
talk,they wiil help you get over this.Can i come up and see you when i get
off work?"
"Well ,it would be nice to gain another friend,i need
as many of those as i can get right now.Just one thing,will you see if they
will let me out of here tommorow?".With that i began to eat my
sandwich(well,i was hungry, as it had been along time since breakfast.)
Before he left the doc said"I finish at four,so i'll be up to
see you then.And Jason,i didn't mean to upset you,its just that i didn't
know."
"Hey, its ok.And i appologise for the way my friends spoke
to you.Thanks for eveything you did for me yesterday."
Paul stood up and walked out of the cafeteria."He seems like an
ok guy,for a doctor ,"i said.
We ate our lunch and got to know each other or more precisley
Gary,Chris and Steve got to know each other.After a while Chris
said"Jase,when you feel better, maybe we can get together and have a jam
session."
Gary looked a little puzzled but just said"that sounds a bit
preverse to me."
"Well i didn't tell you but i play guitar and keyboards.Steve
plays the bass and Chris is the drummer.We've been getting a group together
recently.I've got some of the songs we've been writing on my computer,you
can have a listen when we get back."\line "Thats well cool.I wish i could
play an instrument,"Said Gary.
Steve suddenly had a look which said someone had just turned
the lights on"I just had an idea,why don't you teach him?I mean it would
maybe help you,you know, give you some purpose in life.So what do you wanna
learn....guitar or keyboards?"
"I always liked listening to stuff with alot of guitar on
it......so the guitar it is.Anyway,what the hell is a jam seesion?"
Chris said"well we all get together,get naked,cover
ourselves in jam and then lick it off".I, along with Chris and Steve burst
out laughing.It did hurt me,because of my injuries but it was really good
to laugh with my friends.It made feel better, even if it was only short
lived.
When i calmed down a bit,i explained properly"a jam session
is when a group of musicians get together and improvise.....you know,just
make up the music while they're playing,You can get some fantastic ideas
that way."Gary then realized we had been having a laugh at his expense and
said that he would get us back.
"Oh promises,promises"Steve said.
"By the way i really want to say thanks for you all being
here,Maybe life isn't going to be so bad after all,not with you guys around
but i'm still gonna miss my parents,"I said.We then headed back to my room
as i was a bit worn out and wanted to take a nap.I said Chris and Steve
could go home but they said that they weren't going anywhere.It made me
feel better,having people around who genuinly cared.I woke after my nap and
found Gary lying next to me on the bed.He was asleep and i didn't blame
him, as he'd been awake all night just watching me.Chris and Steve where
playing railroad tycoon on my computer"Hi guys."
"Ahhhhh,it just came alive,"Steve said, just joking
around."Feeling better after your nap?"
"Yeah but i wish i could take a shower or bath as i feel
really dirty".
"Hey,i wondered what that awful smell was,"Chris said
with a laugh and then added"you know you and Gary look really cute together
when you're asleep."
"He is a nice guy and i think i'm in love with him but
i don't know if i'll be able to let him do anything more than kiss me,not
after yesterday."
"If he does have genuine feelings for you, then i know
that he'll understsnd that you are gonna need time to sort yourself
out.Just take things a day at a time,it will work out for you two"Chris
gave me one of his killer smiles,one that i had seen before when he had
said something which later turned out to be right.I was going to have to
trust him on this.
"Thanks Chris,"i said,"it really does help you saying
that.Now would you go and get the nurse for me, so i can see if i can have
a bath or shower."
It didn't take long for him to return with Anne,"so what can i
do for you young man?"
"Hi Anne,would it be ok for me to take a shower?"
Chris and Steve both added"Yeah, because it really is begining
to smell round here and we think its Jason! "
Anne helped me into the wheelchair and we went to the
bathroom,"Its good to see you looking so happy."
"Its good to be spending some time with my friends but i
really do wish my parents where here,nothing will ever replace them."
"I know,"was all Anne said in response.
I felt really fresh after my shower and i used some of Garys
deodorant,so that i would smell nice for him.When i got back to my room he
was listening to a few of the songs that we had been writing.He thought
they where really good and said that he couldn't wait to start his guitar
lessons.Later that evening my grandperents arrived along with Phil and
Jane,Garys mum,who i got on with really well.Grandad told me that the
funeral would be in a weeks time and that if it was going to be too
upsetting for me, then i wouldn't be forced to go.I told him that i had to
go,so that i could say a final goodbye to my parents but i did warn eveyone
to be prepared for how i may react and that i may have another really bad
outburst.They all agreed that that they could understand how i may react
and would be there for me.They also told me that they had talked alot and
felt that it would be a good idea for me to go and stay at Garys.They said
that they felt it would be good for me to be around someone my own age.Gary
and I also told them that we where more than just friends and everyone was
really accepting of the situation.We where both relieved about that.It was
also really cool to know that i would be staying with Gary and his
parents,after what i had been through,i really apprciated the support he
had been giving me.After all he was the one who found me and had been with
me all the time i was in the hospital."Gary,"i said,"i think i'm in love
with you"
"Cool!"was his only response.
During the afternoon Paul had also paid me a vist and told me
that physically i would be ok to leave the hospital tommorw but they where
unsure about my mental state.I told him that i thought i would be ok but he
gave me his phone number and said that i was to call straight away if i had
any problems.I promised him that i would.I also played him some of our
songs and he told me about his brother,Brian,who lived in London and worked
for a record company.He asked us if we would like to meet him and we all
agreed that it would be fantastic, if he could arrange that for us.He said
he would.