Date: Tue, 6 Sep 2005 06:00:49 -0700 (PDT)
From: Adrian Ali <phoenix_587@yahoo.com>
Subject: Say You Love Me 12

Chapter Twelve- "The Old Flame Never Dies"

 JESSIE'S POINT OF VIEW

It was Wednesday at last. Tryout day for Josh and his aspirations of being
on the football team. It was easy to see why he would want to. It would put
him on the peak of popularity and make him a total chick magnet. Well, I
supposed it was about time. Josh never seemed to be into dating before. I
guess it's about time he grew up. When I walked into school that day, it
was with an uncharacteristic grin. The same grin I wore the day before, but
wider now. On Monday, when my parents found out I was gay and still loved
me even though I was gay, I couldn't help but feel this way. Yesterday's
dinner with them, in which they'd basically given me the okay to continue
"seeing" Brad, only amplified the feeling. Hence, the wider grin.

When I got to school, Josh and Stacy were already there. Josh looked happy
enough. But Stacy was a different matter. She looked like she had been
losing sleep over something. I just don't get her. Her grades are PERFECT
and yet she still pushes herself into oblivion. Too much of a
perfectionist. Whenever she's all messed up like this, and I ask the reason
why, it's always invariably,

Stacy: "I got to keep my grades up. It's the only way I'm gonna get into a
prestigious college......"

Josh saw me and waved me over. I waved back and jogged up to them. He was
staring at me rather oddly, then he vocalized his concern.

Josh: "Why do you look like you just about wanna burst?"

"What do you mean?", I asked, not really listening. I was in such a
haze. Looking back on it, I wouldn't be surprised if they thought I was
high on something.

Josh: "I just can't remember when last I saw you THIS happy is all...so out
with it."

"Oh, it's nothing in particular, can't a guy smile without being put under
interrogation?"

Josh: "Hehehe, yeah, I guess he can. Yo Stacy, can't you at least call out
to your boy?"

Stacy hadn't said a word to me in all this time. She looked at me and boy!
Was the look on her face a serious one.

Stacy: "Jessie, we got a few minutes before the bell for first period. Can
I talk to you for a sec?"

She took my hand and began pulling me into an empty corridor. Josh came
running up. Stacy and Josh seemed to be sharing some sort of communication,
from the way they were looking at each other, I was certain that was the
case. Josh was jovial before, but he seemed nervous about something and
there was this...pleading expression on his face when he looked at Stacy. I
never saw anything like it before.

"Uh-Josh is everything all right?"

He quickly changed his facial expression, into one that could pass for
normal. Would have fooled me too if I was a few sticks short of a bundle.

Josh: "Yeah man. Just-uh-a little nervous about the tryouts."

"Well, you'll do fine. I don't know much about football, but I know
you. When you want something, I know that you don't let anything get in
your way, just go out there and show the coach that."

Josh: "You're right. You...and Stacy-(His gaze shifted towards Stacy
again.)-are still gonna be there, right? You aren't going to start ditching
me again are you?"

"Hell yeah, I mean, no. I'll be there, you too right Stace?"

Stacy: "Yup, you can count on me guys. Now Josh, I wanna talk to
Jessie-alone, do you mind?"

They started that crazy eye talk again, thankfully I was spared the long
duration this time. Josh left us alone in the corridor. I was glad for
it. I was going to have to try and snap our girl back to the fun-loving,
talkative (mildly annoying) girl that she was.

"Stacy, why do you look like you haven't had a wink of sleep last night?"

Stacy: "Because I didn't get a wink of sleep last night."

"You studying on an all night session again? You gotta stop this Stace. Do
you want to get a nervous breakdown?"

Stacy: "It wasn't that. I was awake all night thinking about you."

"Awww...but you know I'm taken Stace. Heheh. Hey tell, you what, why don't
you go after Josh, by this time tomorrow, he'll be a footballer and you
won't have much time before the cheerleaders lap him up. You better act
quick."

Her demeanor changed abruptly and she looked a bit upset about
something. What? I didn't know, but I was going to find out.

Stacy: "Jessie, can you wipe that grin off of your face and be serious? I
want to talk to you about something."

"So, talk."

Stacy: "Well, it's just this. Jessie, your parents know about you, right?"

"Well, yeah."

Stacy: "And I know, and Brad, obviously knows..."

"Can you just spit it out, and stop stating the obvious?"

Stacy: "Okay I will, I want you to tell Josh that you're-"

"What!! Are you crazy? I'm not gonna tell him that. He's gonna be on the
macho, macho Jock Squad soon too. And what if he-"

Stacy: "He won't freak, he's your friend."

"How do you know he won't freak. Wait...you didn't tell him did you, or
hint to him to feel him out?"

My happy go lucky disposition was fast disintegrating. I was starting to
feel queasy too.

Stacy: "No, I didn't even try to feel him out, it wouldn't be right and you
made me promise not to tell ANYone, remember?"

"So why are you trying to get me to tell him now. You never have before and
you were always covering for me."

Stacy: "Uh-well...it's like this....um. Okay, everyone who means anything
to you, well, maybe not everyone, but the most important people in your
life, know. Your parents, Brad, me...everyone but Josh. Don't you think you
should tell him. You know he's been nothing but a great friend to you all
along. Why do you think he'd change now?"

"You're right, that he's been a great friend all along Stace, and that's
why I want things to stay that way. And people change Stace. The other day,
would you have thought that Josh would blow up on me like he had, just
because I couldn't go to Joe's? THAT wasn't the Josh we know. He cussed me
up too. He changed. And that was just because I was standing you two
up. What do you think he'll do about...this?"

Stacy: "It won't be like that. You know that he was upset that you made us
wait over at Joe's for four hours, didn't call. He was willing to forget
about it, he only brought it up when you tried to ditch us again."

"I made up for it though, I went with you guys on Saturday. But if I tell
him this, and he decides to bitch about it, there nothing I'll be able to
do to make things right again."

Stacy: "Jess, look, I know I can't make you do anything-"

"Damn right you can't."

Stacy: "But just give it some thought, okay. That's all I'm asking. Trust
him a little, he's your friend, I think he deserves as much."

I told her that I would, think about it. I was true to my word too. I would
think about it. And it would stay in the realm of thought too, unless
something drastic happened to prove to me that deep down, Josh wasn't a
homophobic jerk. But I supposed she was right. I'd known Brad for a LOT
less time than I'd known Josh and I'd trusted him and told him I was
gay. And I didn't have to. I could have turned it around on him and said
that he was the one who had kissed me. I'd hold on to the idea, and if Josh
proved to be able to handle it, then I would tell him. Stacy was right. He
was the next most important person in the world to me and I shouldn't be
keeping these deep, dark secrets from him, especially as I'd decided to
share them with the other important people in my life.

Just then the bell rang, signaling the start of the first period. Stacy had
Biology and Josh and I had a Chemistry lab we had to get to. I was not
feeling the total happiness I felt coming to school this morning, thanks to
Stacy. We went back down the corridor, back to Josh. I couldn't look him
straight in the face, we had been talking about him just now after all. He
began looking at Stacy again, but this time with an accusatory expression
on his face. I saw Stacy shake her head vehemently, No no. What the hell
was going on here?

"Guys, why are you two acting like an old married couple?"

Josh: "W-What!"

"You two are staring at each other, with some sort of top secret
communication passing between you two. If you've got something to say, say
it. If it's personal, then say it together privately, but cut this out,
it's freaky."

Stacy: "Tell it to Josh."

And she was off to her Biology class. Judging from the look that she tossed
me, I knew she meant it in more than one way. I looked back to Josh to see
if he suspected anything. It didn't seem so. He wasn't even looking, He was
watching Stacy, he watched her walk all the way down the hallway, until she
was out of sight. It was then that I had an inkling. An old married couple
huh? Lol. Could that be it. I wondered if something was going on between
them. It seemed as clear as day. My mind was busy chrning out
possibilities.

I remebered when I'd went with Stacy to get Josh on Saturday, to go to
Joe's. Josh's dad had said something about me not rusting him around MT
GIRL. Of course nothing was going on between me and Stacy, but that didn't
mean that Josh wasn't trying to score with her. I wonder if he had confided
in his dad and that comment was more than a Joke. And the fact that he was
not totally willing to leave me and Stacy alone was way too suspicious. It
was slightly annoying, what did he think I was? And that Eye
talk...hmmm...And Stacy's behavior. Was she so adamant that I tell Josh
because she was afriad and /or unwilling to keep secrets from him and their
alleged "relationship"? I'd have to talk to her about that. I was pondering
these thoughts too long.

Josh: "Jess, you coming to class. You know that Hariss will bitch about us
being late."

"Uh, yeah, I'm coming."

+++

Hariss: "Okay class, today we'll be doing a basic acid / base
titration. You'll have to find the concentration of this Sodium Hydroxide
solution. It's going to count for your overall grade, so be warned. I'll be
in the next room, sorting things out for the next practical class, so don't
get any ideas."

With that, Mr. Hariss left us. He was a cool enough teacher. Once we didn't
wreck the place, make too much noise and got the work done, we got to do
whatever in his class. As usual me and Josh decided to work together. I was
good at this stuff, but Josh couldn't titrate right if his life depended on
it. Any how, he was better at the theory than I was, so it was a good
partnership. He'd help me with the theory and I'd help him cope with the
practical. Yup, a partnership made in hea-well the Chemistry lab. Since
things were slow in the lab-as always, it was a simple lab after all-I
thought I'd broach my concerns to him.

"Josh?"

Josh: "Yeah?"

"Somethin' you wanna share with me?"

Josh: "Oh! The Hydroxide, here, sorry."

I rolled my eyes.

"No, not that. I mean, is there anything you wanna talk to me about?
Anything new in your life, you want to tell me about?"

He jumped. I really didn't expect it. He looked shocked and when he jumped
he dropped the beaker of acid. It fell to the floor, with a crash. Some of
the other students looked up, but that was it, they went back to work. Josh
stoped down and started picking up the glass with his bare hands. Stupid
thing to have done, I was right. He cut himself, and the acid got into the
wound.

Josh: "Fuck!"

And all he was doing was watching the wound and doing nothing. What on
Earth could have freaked him out like that? I grabbed his hand and put it
under the lab faucet, and started laving it with water. I made a
preliminary inspection. All Josh was doing was just standing there.

"You know, if you'd wash your hands I wouldn't have to."

He started washing it on his own and I relinquished my hold on his
hand. The cut wasn't deep.

"It's not a bad wound and you're lucky that we don't use the concentrated
acid in these tirations, then it'd really sting."

Josh: "Yeah."

"So, uh-why'd you freak out on me like that?"

Josh: "I didn't freak out on you."

"So you jumping like I'd lit a fire under you, and cutting yourself in the
process, wasn't a little strange to you?"

Josh: "It's just these tryouts, I'm on edge, that's all."

He obviously was hiding something. I was sure, but I'd have to wait until
he tipped his hand and let something slip. The next few minutes were spent
in an uneasy slience. I wasn't the one who broke it.

Josh: "So, uh-what did Stacy want to talk to you about this morning?"

Stacy?! I knew that was it. Had to be. I started to laugh, this was
seriously amusing. And he was acting like a lovesick tee- right. How
sterotypical, cute though. Lol.

"Josh, you know you don't have to worry about anything going on between me
and Stace, right? We're just friends, got it. I wouldn't try to steal your
girl."

Josh: "What are talki-"

Isn't it obvious? I explained everything to him, my assumptions were
confirmed now, that was for sure, after all this weird behavior from
him. He looked at me like I was talking gibberish. But I knew better, he
was playing dumb.

Josh: "But nothin's going on between us."

"If you say so. I suppose when you want to admit it you will. Just don't
want you to think that I'm a security risk okay."

He watched me with an unreadable look. We didn't get to discuss it
further. We were running out of time and we still had two more repeat
titrations to do, AND the calculations. This would all be going towards our
final grade too. We went back to work...

+++

BRAD'S POINT OF VIEW

I was walking on air. Everything seemed to be right in my life now. I mean,
Jessie's parents knew about us, weren't pissed, and actually were glad in a
way. Jessie and I were together, and now we didn't have to hide it from his
'rents, we could be out in the open, at least over at his house. Sure, I
wished I could have told my parents and gotten that kind of acceptance, but
hey, You gotta Play the Cards You're Dealt. And the fact that (To the
Outside World) Jessie was Forbidden Fruit, was such a turn on. Even
Jessie's best friend Josh, seemed to be coming around. Speaking of best
friends, I saw mines standing around in the corridor, no doubt cutting
class, Again. I had a free now anyway, so I made my way over to them.

"Hey guys, cutting class again. Aren't you afraid you'll get suspended?"

Chad: "That'd be a plus. Lol."

Devon: "Besides as long as Coach Jefferson and the Principal keep their
little fling up, I don't think we'll be in any trouble."

Our Principal was a woman. Mrs. Elizabeth Paige. She was married, but Chad,
Jon and Devon seemed convinced that she and Coach Jefferson were fucking
and that we (as we were on the team) wouldn't get in trouble because of
it. Where that rumor got started, I'll never know, but I'll say this, we
never got into much trouble before. Sure I got suspended once, for beating
up some son of a bitch who had it coming to him, but I could have gotten
into much more trouble for that. Anyhow, the thought of two old people
getting it on wasn't too appealing so I was glad when they changed the
subject.

We caught up on stuff, usual guy stuff. Who was gonna get laid, who wasn't,
when trouble came walking down the hallway, all wrapped up in a pretty
package. Jessica Warden. Aka, Hotstuff. The rest of the guys stopped their
talking and took in the sight. And boy, did she know how to put on a
show. She had this way of walking. Most girls try it. You know the walk,
hips and all. A few can actually pull it off, looking seductive as if they
weren't even trying, and Jessica Warden was one of them. I know Jon, Chad
and Devon appreciated it. I didn't. For one simple reason, Jessica Warden
was my ex. I couldn't even pretend that I was the one who broke it off with
her, she was the one that dumped me. Over some fight that I'd had. I bet
she just loved the Drama. She's one of those girls who like to think that
she's living a Soap Opera.

I wished she would just walk on by, but it was obvious, that was not what
she had in mind. She was heading over here on a mission. Chad winked at me
and I got what he was trying to say. But there was no way I'd ever go for
her again. She left me high and dry, luckily, I found someone a whole lot
better. I smiled at the thought of Jessie, wrong thing to do.

Jessica: "Well, I see you're glad to see me, huh Brad?"

"What do you want?"

Jessica: "Well, I wanna talk to you, alone for a little while."

I looked over at the guys and they got up and said they'd meet me in the
cafeteria. I got a few pats on the back in the process. Sorry to disappoint
them. I figured I might as well get this over with as fast as possible.

"So talk already, I don't have all day. What do you want?"

Jessica: "I want you. I want you back."

"What? You honestly want me back?"

Jessica: "That's what I said. We used to be good for each other."

"USED to be. And we were only good for each other in your twisted head. You
were the one who dumped me, remember?"

Jessica: "Which is why I'm asking you to forgive and come back to me. I
don't know what I was thinking. And I'm willing to throw in lots of hot
make up sex if you can find it in your heart to forgive me."

She started some ridiculous pouting. She left me, and now she wants me
back? I remebered my time with her. It was fun at first, real fun. But
eventually, her negative identity traits made themselves known. Everything
became about her, her, her. Never about me or what I wanted. Whenever we
went out, it was always where she wanted to go. She never shied away in the
sex department, that was true, but it would always be on her terms, not
mine. Whenever I was with her sexually, I always got the feeling that I was
nothing more than a sexual outlet for her. Her little obedient Boy Toy. She
has this idea, that she can manipulate any person to do her bidding. And
she's right about that, she can manipulate any one of those Little Boys,
but not me. I told her that too. It made her upset. Good.

"Why are you so mad Jessica? Is it because for once, I'm the one in control
of my own lovelife. I don't want any more of your nagging."

Jessica: "What is up with you? Do you know who you're talking to here? Do
you know what you're throwing away?"

"Actually, I've been thinking about that. The Great Jessica Warden herself,
comes waltzing down the hallway, to extend her helping hands to her ex
boyfriend...you don't fool me. You didn't come here to patch things up for
my sake. What's the matter, can't find any more weak willed, horny boys to
do your bidding? You know what I think? I think you came back here to beg
me to come back to you."

She looked thoroughly scandalized. Same old Jessica. Or...was she? She
really surprised me when she admitted it.

Jessica: "Okay, okay. I'll admit it. I really didn't want to break up with
you, but you were getting so out of control..."

"I beat one fool up, get suspended and the next thing I'm single? To tell
you the truth, the way things were going between us, if you hadn't broken
it off, I would have. It was always about you, wasn't it? All you care
about is yourself."

Jessica: "You know that's not true. I ca-I love you Brad. Just give me one
more chance, that's all I'm asking, I'll try harder this time. It's just
that when you were, well, the way you were, it was startting to get hard to
get along with you, you know. But I knew if I left for a while you'd
change. And you see you did, you're all the better for it. You have changed
for the better, see we belong together baby."

Unbelievable! Was she this Vain. I mean, yeah, I've changed, I'm still no
softie, but it wasn't her that changed me. How could she change me? She
wasn't even there for God's sake.

"I might have changed, but you weren't the one who's responsible for
that. You weren't even here."

Jessica: "So did someone else take my place? Did you change because of
someone else?"

"I don't have to tell you or anyone else, anything."

Jessica: "Just who is she Brad?"

I really wished I hadn't brought it up. Anyhow, there wasn't anything she
could do. I didn't say anything, she'd just have to go on and get some
other guy to be her slave. I left her in the hallway. I looked back
once. She was crying. She thought she could toy with my feelings, go on
Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder, and try and change me. What is it with
girls and their always trying to change a guy? I knew that wives always try
it, but we were nothing more than...hell fuck buddies. Let her cry, she's
so melodramatic and shallow, it's just got to be fake anyway. She'll
probably go after one of the other guys soon enough. Besides, I had my own
little guy to take care of.



+++



Jessica Warden knew that she had the skills to pay the bills. She was
perfectly content with the way her life had been going so far. She had the
looks, the money and the know how to have the men falling after her. She
could have had any boy in the school. Well, any straight boy. So confident
was she with her abilities, that she had developed a sixth sense. If she
met a guy who didn't show any interest in her, she was sure he was Gay. If
he didn't want to admit it to himself or to his buddies, what of it? There
were plenty of other sheep to be sheared. Her latest conquest was the ultra
hot Brad Summers, she had her eyes on him from day one. She was what the
good girls would call a Slut, a Whore, a Bitch, but what did she care? All
that mattered was what their boyfriends thought of her.



Of all her Boy Toys, Brad was undoubtedly her favorite. She didn't like to
admit that any man had this much control over her, but she knew it was
true. She didn't just lust after Brad, she loved him too. But he was
getting to be too much of a badass punk. So she decided to temporarily
leave him until he got his act together. And Brad had done just that. Or so
she'd hoped. What she didn't count on was the possibility, however
miniscule, that he might not want her back. That was what threw her. After
the incident in the hall, she went into the Girls' Bathroom, to have what
her sex calls, A Good Long Cry.



She looked at herself in the mirror. She had perfect skin, a tight body,
beyond reproach. Hell, she had the body that celebrities spent their
fortunes on to TRY and imitate. Why was she so unappealing to Brad all of a
sudden? Had she really pushed him over the edge, was she too nagging and
controlling? She resolved then and there, she was going to get her guy
back. If she had to change every old habit that Brad found nagging, she
would do it. She knew that Brad had a football session that evening. She'd
be there. She was never too fond of it before. The Games and the Practice
Sessions took him away too often for her liking, but she would be
supportive. Maybe if Brad saw how much she was willing to change he'd give
her another shot. But one thing was for sure, come Hell or High Water, she
was going to get him back. Why? Because she was Jessica Warden, and she
always gets what she wants.