From: Gay Teen Stories <gayteenstories@bigfoot.com>
Subject: Scott and Jeff Ch 7 (coming of age, teen)
Date: Wed, 06 Jan 1999 06:22:04 GMT

The Adventures of Scott and Jeff Chapter 7

"As long as we're in agreement about this." Ben reconfirmed.

"Oh, definitely. I don't plan on saying anything to Dave."

"Good." He ducked low so that only his head was out of the water and
floated his way over to me. He asked quizzically, "So you and Scott...
what's the story there? Wait, wait. Lemme guess, he's not your type?"
He rose out of the water slightly and puffed out his chest. "You like
the more athletic type?"

I splashed him, "No dude, Scott isn't like that!"

"I know, that's what I'm saying, his chest is kinda lacking."

"No, I mean he's not gay." I paused for a moment, "And there's nothing
wrong with his chest!"

Ben grinned at me a little funny, not quite knowing how to proceed.
"Uh, okay... and all those looks he gives you? All only friendship?"

"Of course!"

He sighed, "'Cuz I would've bet money that he'd made a move -- all
timid and cute -- and you broke his heart and turned him down. The only
thing I don't understand is how you stayed such good friends after
that."

"Not even! You don't even know Scott, how can you possibly say
something like that?"

"I've said this before... people are fairly easy to read. You can just
look at people and know their whole story, what they're all about.
Everyone publishes it, with the way they talk, walk, act..."

"So you're saying you can spot gay people."

"Yes, but you don't get it. It's not just about sexuality. You can see
everything... if you know how to look. Why do you think I'm so
popular? It's because I know the things people need to hear, the way
they want to be treated. You can see their entire past, what they feel
about themselves, all of their likes and dislikes..." He floated his
way over, placing his lips right next to my ear. I felt his lightly
whispered words tickle my entire body. "You like to be touched very
softly." He flitted his fingertips up my chest sending me into a mild
convulsion. I fought my instinct to wriggle away.

I like this type of torture.

When my back hit the side of the pool, I realized that I'd been
unconsciously drifting backwards. Ben had matched my movements
precisely. He placed one hand on the wall beside me and the other in
the center of my chest. He leaned in even closer and I made a mock
effort to hold him back. His hand slipped slowly down my chest and
lost contact once under the water, he whispered, "You like it slow...
romantic. You'd rather kiss someone you really like, even if only for
a second -- as long as it meant something, than all the meaningless sex
you could ever find." I gasped and bit my lip. His lips gently grazed
the ridge of my ear as he sucked in all available air and held it. I
jumped as his knee found mine. He released quiet noises of muffled
ecstasy as he slowly slid his knee up along my inner thigh. I felt
shockwaves throughout my body as his leg found its home nestled under
my sack. He arched his body slightly, scrunched his face and whimpered
silently. It was only then that I realized where his hand had been. He
collapsed onto me, his face tucked in the crook of my neck. He sighed
"Thank you" and quickly kissed my cheek and pulled back, turning away
from me. He swam to the other side of the pool, facing the wall.

My mouth dropped, "Did you just..."

His response was quick and authoritative, "No, I did not."

I burst out laughing and then -- upon realizing he didn't share in my
amusement -- attempted to stop. "Oh my God, Ben."

"Just shut up, ok?" He paced for a minute or two as I did a fairly
good job of stifling myself. Then he pulled himself out of the pool
and walked into the house, without ever making eye contact. He
reappeared at the door with a towel wrapped around his waist, and
raised another towel for me to see before he tossed it onto some patio
furniture. As soon as the door clicked shut, I busted up all over
again. What the hell was going on? My erection had diminished and I
heaved myself out and sat on the edge. I leaned over, peering through
the rippling water to see if he'd left any evidence. None that I could
find. I grabbed the towel and walked through the door. He was already
fully dressed and silently glaring at the MTV video countdown. Back
Street Boys, number one again. I put my clothes back on, without Ben
making a comment or a curious glance. As I buttoned my shirt, he
stood, clicked off the TV and pulled his keys from his pocket. "I'm
going to take you home now."

As he approached me on his way to the garage I chuckled and said, "I
may like it slow and romantic, but you like it fast and wet." Before I
could pronounce the 't' of 'wet' he'd slammed me to the wall, choking
me with his forearm and dangling me off the ground by an inch or two.

"Shutthefuckup!"

I gagged, "Joke!" and raised my hands in submission. As he released,
my finger tip accidentally brushed his chest and I was again forced
against the wall. "Sorry! Accident! I didn't mean it!"

He growled and showed his teeth like an overly protective guard dog.
But what was he guarding? "You're a fuckin' whore! You tricked me!" He
had his fist cocked and ready to shove down my throat, he must've seen
the panic in my eyes because he just paused and dropped me to the
floor.

I tried to rub the pain out of my neck. He turned and walked toward
the door to the garage. Once I got back my ability to speak, I
vocalized my disgust. "Shit, Ben! What the hell's wrong with you?"

He immediately spun around, holding up a finger of warning. No words
were necessary...

He drove quickly and dropped me by the curb of my house and squealed
away without saying a word. I mumbled about what a jerk he was. But at
least he was nice enough to take me home... as if that somehow made
his behavior acceptable.

I walked inside and had an eerie feeling that something wasn't right.
I walked up to my room where I saw something I never expected to see.
All of my drawers were open with clothes strewn about the room. My
first thought was that we'd been burglarized, but then I saw all of my
gay magazines and the video that Scott had given me and the catalogs
that I'd been getting in my PO box all placed very neatly in the
center of my bed.

Oh... SHIT!

My body started tingling and my consciousness felt as though it was
trying to escape the room without me. I gasped for air and I couldn't
control my mouth. "Shit, shit, shit, holy shit... oh God... oh God...
please say this isn't happening. Please God... Wake me up now! Wake me
up! Oh no, oh shit..." I turned as I heard the squeak of my bedroom
door. My mother was standing there with tears streaming down her
cheeks.

"Oh Jeff..."

"Mom, how could you! You went through my stuff? How could you do this
to me!?!"

She became upset, "What does all this mean, Jeff? Tell me what this
means!"

"Just what you think it means."

"I don't believe you, I can't. Tell me you're joking, Jeff. Please
tell me you're joking!"

"Mom....I'm not joking." My throat tried to close up on me as I gasped
for air between sobs.

"What did we do wrong, Jeff? Did I baby you too much? Is that it? Was
your father not around enough? I always told him to toss a football
with you but he was always so busy..."

"Oh God mom... you don't really think that's what caused this, do
you?"

"It's just a phase, you'll pass through it. I know you will."

My voice was shaky and I couldn't hold my tears any longer. "I'm
sorry... I'm sorry mom. I didn't want to disappoint you and dad...
really I didn't."

"But why, Jeff? Why? What was it? Were you ever molested?"

"What? No! Why would you ask that?" I looked around my room, "I still
can't believe you went through my stuff! You had no right!"

"I didn't plan on it, Jeff. The VCR in the TV room is busted, I was
just going to set yours to tape a soap." She paused to blow her nose.

"General Hospital?"

"No, >sniff< Days of Our Lives... and I pushed play to see what you
had in there..."

The frat boy masturbation video. "Oh dear..."

"Yeah..."

I asked a question I really didn't want the answer to, "What did dad
say?"

"Oh," She laughed between her sobs, "I'm not planning on telling
him... not now... he has far too much to worry about, the
investigation isn't going so well... he's looking guilty."

"What??" I shook my head, trying to find the place where those words
made sense. "He's guilty?"

By her reaction, she realized that she shouldn't have said that.
"Well, that's the way it looks."

"Oh my God!"

"Well..." she wiped her eyes, "come here." She held her arms open and
I found comfort in her embrace. I remembered back to when I was a
child and fell off my bike and slashed up my knee on the gravelly
parking lot pavement. All of my pain could be taken away when my
mother hugged me.

I sobbed into her shoulder, "So you don't hate me?"

"Oh Jeff, no... no... you're my little baby." She started bawling and
clutched me tighter. "Don't worry, we'll get you into counseling.
We'll get through this..."

I pulled away enough to be able to see her face, "Excuse me?"

"We'll find you the best psychiatrist. We'll get you back to your
normal old self again..."

"Mom... I don't think you understand."

She pulled me tightly against her, "Shh, shh..." Or maybe she was only
trying to protect her ears from the truth. "You know, we got quite a
few calls about the basement room. I even had some of them stop over
today. I was planning on going with this guy Jarred, who's actually
quite cute... but then I went to go set up your VCR... I've decided to
go with a girl named Angee. She seems really nice, down to earth. Very
friendly. I think you'll like her."

"Are you trying to fix me up?"

Her tears had stopped, "A girlfriend couldn't hurt you any..." She
laughed a little.

"Mom! I haven't even met her!"

"Well she moves in tomorrow. I called her after I'd stopped crying."
She glanced at my bed, "The trash bags are in the garage. Throw that
stuff out and take it to the dumpster over at Food-4-Less. I'm just
going to trust you to take care of it." She motioned to the piles on
my bed and left the room. I thought I felt angry, betrayed... but when
I paused for a moment, and I felt a tremendous weight lifted off me. 

My mom now knew everything about me... and she still loved me.

Tears of joy filled my eyes and I fell to my knees and thanked God for
giving me such a wonderful and loving mother. That I still had a roof
over my head. For creating such a thing as unconditional love. I had a
sudden flash to what Dave had said, to pray to know that God loved me.
It was upon remembering that conversation that I realized that I
wasn't even questioning if God existed anymore... I just knew He did.
But doubt about Dave's suggestion filled my head... what if I pray and
God tells me 'No, I don't love you.' That's what all the major
religions preach, and that's not something I wanted to hear right now.

A small voice in my head said these words very clearly. "But God is
Love." 

I cried out, "God, please... please let me know if you love me. Let me
feel your love."

What happened next cannot be explained in words. I was overwhelmed
with such a powerful sensation, tingling started in my head and
permeated all throughout my entire body. It was the most wonderful,
completely peaceful feeling. It felt that God himself was standing
there, crying with me, hugging me, telling me things will get better.

I cried until my eyes were dry.

I said out loud "God loves me." The feeling intensified even more, it
felt so good and made me so happy that I actually started to laugh.
"God loves me!" I began to feel silly for having to ask... I now had
such a firm knowledge that He loved me. It was hard to understand how
I ever thought any differently.

I smiled broadly as I went down to the garage and got a trash bag and
placed all the 'evidence' into it. I drove over to Food-4-Less and
tossed it into the dumpster. As I was driving toward the exit, I
noticed Dave's empty Mercedes sport utility. I pulled into a spot and
I noticed Dave with a single bag walking to his car. I instantly
remembered all the harshness of our last meeting and gritted my teeth
with anxiety over how to handle the situation. When I stepped out of
my car, he slowed his pace, probably also wondering what I was going
to do and if I was going to fight with him or not.

"Hi, Dave."

"Hey, Jeff. What's going on?"

I chuckled, "Oh, not much. Just the usual. Your brother beat me up, my
mom found out I'm gay and I find God."

His eyes practically popped out of his head. "Wow... how'd your mom
react?"

"She wants to put me into therapy. But otherwise, she was surprisingly
calm."

"That's good. I'm glad things are ok. I'm glad you found God. But
before we get into that, why did my brother beat you up? I'll kick his
ass."

"Oh, it's a long story..."

"That's ok. I've got time. Nothing I bought will melt or go bad." He
opened the back of his car and packed his groceries in. He looked at
me curiously, "So, what happened? He just hit you for no reason?"

"Well, no..." Oh dear, I should've left Ben out of this. "He just got
angry... because of something he did."

"This 'something' involved you obviously... Ben doesn't misplace his
aggression to people who aren't involved. What part did you play?"

"I don't know that I really played much of a part at all..."

"Jeff, you're not being honest with me." He sighed, reluctant to
continue, "You see, Ben's different from most people... he has a
unique talent, a more developed sixth sense. But, he hasn't quite
learned to control it completely."

"What do you mean? That's he's psychic?"

"Well, no... but you're not far off. He can just sense things, I don't
know really how to explain it. You know how you can feel that someone
is watching you. Take that ability up a couple notches. It's not like
he hears your thoughts, but he can feel what you're feeling and
sometimes he has a problem sorting out his own feelings and emotions.
He used to hate crowds as a kid, but he's been able to focus more.
That's why he's such a good football player. He can anticipate the
moves so perfectly. Oh, and that boy HATES hospitals, you can imagine
why. My parents just thought he had been conditioned by bad
experiences he'd had or something. They still don't fully understand
the gift he has. But, until he learns better control, he can be easily
influenced by strong emotions of people around him."

"Wow... he didn't tell me all of that."

"He doesn't tell anyone; it's a weakness. It'd be like someone coming
up to you and saying, 'If you push this button, I'll do whatever you
want.' You'd want to try it, wouldn't you? People would take advantage
of him and he's not stupid, he knows that." He looked down at the
ground. "I'm pretty sure I know what happened with you and him. You've
told me before you thought he was good-looking." He paused, wanting
some type of response but I kept quiet. "Could you just say it, just
so I know what happened? I'm beginning to think the worst."

"We went skinny dipping at your parents' house. We touched each
other... but that's basically all."

"What else?"

"Uh, he jerked off under the water... I didn't even know he was doing
it. Then he freaked out and threw me against a wall and called me a
whore." I laughed, trying to bring some humor to such a serious
conversation.

"Oh! I see. Well... Interesting."

Ugh... He had obviously backed down from his threat against Ben in
light of the new information I'd shared.

"You know, Jeff. I'm just not so sure about our relationship. We get
along all right... well, we GOT along for a day or so... I'm just not
sure that you're ready for the same level of commitment that I am."

"Are you breaking up with me?"

"I think so. Jeff, it's not that I don't like you. It's just that
you're 18, I'm 24. It's not that much of a difference, I know... but
we're both in different stages of our lives, and I'm not sure that we
are looking for the same things right now. You need someone your age,
someone like Scott. You're just starting into the lifestyle, but I'm
ready to find someone to spend some time with."

"I think I am, too."

"Well, you're not looking for me then. Just the fact that you would
betray our relationship... so soon... and with my brother! God!" He
shook his head, "Jeff, you know I'm right. Deep down, you know."

"Maybe I do. I don't know."

"Live your life. Call me if you ever need someone to talk to."

"Why are you doing this, Dave?"

He answered in a calm voice, "Jeff, you did this. I'm the one who's
being hurt more. But I'm not going to lie to myself or to you by
saying it'll work out. Breaking up is what's best, for both of us."
His eyes welled with tears and he swallowed his pain. "I'll see you
later. I've gotta go, I lied, I have ice cream melting in there."

He stepped into his car and drove away. I had a strange feeling that I
would never see him again. My tear ducts had enough of a break that
they were able to gloss my eyes over. I just sat in my car and waited
until I could see before I drove again. No matter what happened in
life, he would always be the first guy to ever dump me. My first
attempt at a relationship with a guy had ended because I wasn't as
committed as I should have been. My eyes eventually cleared and I
drove over to Scott's house, I really wasn't in the mood to deal with
either of my parents right now. I went around and knocked on the back
door which led to his basement. He opened the door, smiled and then
ushered me in with concern when he saw the puffiness of my eyes.

"Oh Jeff, what's wrong?"

"Everything, and I mean that. There is nothing that's right at this
moment."

"I'm here. That's good, isn't it?"

I smiled and hugged him, "Yes, of course. That's the only good thing
right now."

He held on tightly, rubbing my back. He pushed the door closed and
sighed, "What's wrong, bud?"

"My dad's guilt of money laundering, my mom found all my porn, and
Dave just broke up with me because Ben tried to beat me up." I started
crying again. "But my mom loves me. And God loves me."

"And I love you." After a brief pause, he looked very interested and
said "So, what's this about you and Dave breaking up?"

"He says I'm not mature enough for a relationship with him."

"Dude, that makes no sense."

"My mom was just about to have some hot guy move in but now she's
decided on some girl she thinks I'm going to fall in love with or
something. She wants to 'cure' me."

"Well come here," he led me over to the couch and sat at one end. He
had me lie down, with my head on a pillow in his lap. "Shit, it sounds
like you had quite the day. But I'm here for you. Things will work
out. You aren't being thrown out, your boyfriend made a decision that
would've eventually been necessary to make." He stroked my hair and
smiled down at me. 

I looked up into his warm, caring eyes. "Scott, you're the greatest
friend. You know that?"

He just grinned bashfully and looked away. "Thanks. You're not too
shabby yourself." With one hand, he continued stroking my hair, he put
the other on my chest and I quickly clutched it with both hands.

That reminds me... "Scott, the other day when you spent the night...
did you undress me after I fell asleep?"

He stopped caressing my hair and pulled his hand out of my grip.
"Yeah, I-I wasn't going to let you sleep fully clothed..." He almost
sounded apologetic.

"Ok, just wondering."

--
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