Date: Tue, 3 May 2005 05:14:19 -0700 (PDT)
From: Ray <yaalc@yahoo.com>
Subject: sebastian chapter 6

Although I'd gone to bed early I couldn't sleep. I
hated nights like this. Whenever I've had an eventful
day as soon as my head hit the pillow my brain turned
on, trying to process the day's events and make some
sense out of them. When that happened I knew I'd be
tossing and turning for hours. I huddled under the
stack of blankets I had on me. I guess winter was
short enough or mild enough that no one here had
central heat.

The day's events whirled around in my mind. And I
asked myself a lot of questions. Why was I attracted
to the paperboy? He's not drop dead gorgeous. He's not
hideous either. What would he look like cleaned up?
Did I pity him? Did I want to take care of him? I
couldn't figure it out. But the attraction was there.
I couldn't deny it. What about god? Would he want me
to like this boy? Probably not, maybe I should just be
his friend. Ricky? Now he was gorgeous, but I wasn't
attracted to him physically. Why not? He was obviously
straight for one. I guess I just put him in the
unattainable category automatically. But he was fun to
be around. I'd have to be careful not to slip around
him. I didn't want to lose his friendship.

I replayed in my mind the two times I'd interacted
with the boy. Both times he'd said something. I knew
he was teasing me and I wanted to get to the bottom of
it. I remembered the miniature tape recorder I'd
brought with me. Ignoring the cold, I got out of bed
and searched for it. When I was sure it had batteries
and still worked I crawled back into bed. Before long
I drifted into a deep sleep.

The alarm barely went off and I was out of bed and
hopping into my clothes. I cracked my window open and
climbed back into the warmth of my bed. I knew from
yesterday that I'd hear him coming long before he got
there. No need for me to stand out in the cold. I had
drifted into a light doze before I heard him coming. I
got up, put my shoes on and headed out to meet him.
The morning was nothing like yesterday. The sky was
clear. I couldn't believe how many stars were visible.
The air around me was crisp and cold but not wet like
yesterday. And there he was.

As he approached I could see he already had that
impish grin and the light in his green eyes danced.
Again my heartstrings were tugged. He was wearing the
exact same clothes as the day before. Today he looked
not happier but more content maybe.

"Would you like a newspaper?" he asked.

It hadn't been hard to figure out what he was saying
there. I knew diario was newspaper, the rest was
assumption but I went with it. I nodded my head yes
and gave him 2 pesos. He tried to give me some change
again, which I refused again. He looked at me with his
head cocked to the side. I really loved the way he did
that. It was just a cute quirk of his. Then he got
that big grin and said it again. He walked off
smiling. That was a change and I was glad I had left
him with a smile.

I ran inside, put the paper on the table and hurried
back to my room. Pulling the recorder from my coat
pocket I rewound it. It was perfect. The whole
conversation was there. "Gotcha" I thought. Ricky
would be coming over to walk to school with me. I'd
ask him what it meant.

Heading back to the kitchen I sat down to breakfast.
Dad already had the paper up and was reading. I didn't
even bother saying good morning. He wouldn't have
heard me. Breakfast over, I showered and got ready for
school. When I was ready I went back out to the
kitchen to wait for Ricky. Dad was done with the
paper.

"Morning dad."

"Morning Sean, sleep well?"

"Once I got to sleep I did, I tossed and turned for a
long time though."

"Not surprising, a lot's happened the last few days."

"More than you know dad." I thought to myself.

"Oh dad, they don't do lunch at school, so I'll have
to come home to eat."

"Hmm we haven't had the chance to go shopping yet, and
you don't know the first thing about cooking anyway.
How about if I just leave you some lunch money. You
can pick something up to eat."

"Great that'll work, thanks dad."

Dad slipped me two five peso notes.

"That should be enough for today, we'll figure out
later how much you need. Now I gotta run its going to
be a busy day, I'll be home for dinner though, cya
then."

"Ok, have a good one Ill see you tonight."

Ricky showed up soon after dad left. He was a bit
early but that's ok I had something for him to do. I
told him about the boy and how he seemed to be teasing
me and I told him that I'd taped him that morning.

"Let me hear it."

I played the tape for him. He laughed his ass off for
a minute. Until I asked him what it meant. He got red
and thought for a minute.

"I not know how say it."

"Try."

He fumbled for the words but couldn't find them. He
finally looked at me, I don't think his face could
have got any redder.

"He say."

He fumbled some more then just pointed at his crotch
and his mouth and made the universal signal for blow
job, tongue in cheek and everything. It was my turn to
be embarrassed. I felt like my face was on fire. "That
little shit" I thought. That's when an evil little
idea jumped into my head.

"Hey Ricky, how would I say..."

As we walked to school we played a stupid game we'd
come up with. Ricky would point to something and say
the word in Spanish. I'd then say it in English. And
lastly I'd say it in Spanish and he would say it in
English. It sounds stupid but over the next few weeks
our vocabularies grew immensely.

The day flew by. I didn't really enjoy having to help
in English class. But it wasn't as bad as I'd expected
either. Every spare minute I could I spent memorizing
the words that Ricky had written for me. Ricky didn't
have English that day but we got together in between
classes and hung out. He introduced me to a lot of
people. I didn't catch anything they said. But they
didn't seem to care. I just hung off to the side
enjoying the feeling of having friends again.

We walked home together playing our game and somehow
communicating enough to joke and laugh about things
that had happened that day. We got to my house and
made plans for the afternoon. We were both tired and
decided to take the siesta. Ricky was going to come
over about four. He needed help with an English
assignment, and then we were just going to do whatever
until dinner.

I unlocked the door and had just tossed my backpack on
the couch when I heard his voice. It looked like I was
going to get my revenge sooner than I'd hoped. I
grabbed a plate and headed out to exact my revenge. I
had a big smile on my face but I couldn't help it.
This was going to be too good. The little shit
deserved it.

I waited at the bottom of the steps again. As he
walked up I could see he had that impish grin. When he
saw the big smile on my face he hesitated. It was
almost like he could feel that I was up to something.
I bit my tongue hard. That wiped the smile off my
face. I held out my plate. He put six empanadas on
there and I signaled enough. He only had six left in
the basket when he was done with me. I handed him five
pesos. And again he tried to give me the change. I
just waved it off again. It was only two pesos for
hells sake.

He got that evil little grin on his face and said
exactly what he'd said before. But this time I was
ready for him.

?No gracias. Tu pija probablemente tiene gusto a
mierda.? (No thanks, your dick probably tastes like
shit.)

The expressions that passed over his face for the next
thirty seconds were priceless. Shock, followed by
guilt and then strangely, fear. I was laughing so hard
I had to set my plate down or my lunch was going to
end up in the dirt. It was then I noticed he seemed to
be holding back tears. He hurried off. I was shocked.
What was going through his head? I ran after him and
grabbed his arm to stop him. Shit, I don't know how to
ask what's wrong. I couldn't even apologize for
whatever it was that I'd caused him to feel.

I was saved by the rumbling of his stomach. I searched
my memory I know I'd learned how to say hungry today.

?¿tu hambre? ? I asked knowing it wasn't quite right.

He shook his head no. His stomach growled again and I
knew he was lying. I half dragged him back to my
place. Picking up the plate I'd left there, I dragged
him up the stairs and into the house. He tried to
resist me a little bit but I could tell he was still
afraid of something. I got another plate out. Handed
him five more pesos and put the last six empanadas on
his plate. I sat him down and then sat down between
him and the door. He wasn't getting away until he'd
had something to eat. He protested quite a bit. I just
looked at him and gave him my customary.

?No hablo Espanol?

He actually pouted for a minute but realized he
couldn't say anything I'd understand. I indicated that
he should start eating and reluctantly he did so. I
was on my second one when I realized we needed
something to drink. I poured us a couple of glasses of
coke. When he saw that his eyes went wide and that
spark that made it so his eyes seemed to have an ocean
in them returned. He sat there grinning like a little
kid at Christmas.

?Gracias.? he said softly.

?De nada.? it was my turn to have a grin on my face.

I pointed at myself.

"Sean"

He seemed to understand and pointed at himself.

"Seba"

The winter passed quickly. During the week Seba had
lunch with me every day. Sometimes we had empanadas
but we mostly grabbed a hamburger or a sandwich. I
always had a glass of coke for him. I loved the way he
smiled every time I gave him one. By the end of August
I was able to carry on a fairly decent conversation
with him. I don't know if he was a friend or not but I
really enjoyed his company. There was a lot more to
him than met the eye. He was intelligent and funny. I
looked forward to those lunches. It scared me. I was
falling for him hard. But I'd promised God I wouldn't
do anything so I didn't. I just tried to enjoy the
time we spent together.