Date: Wed, 17 Nov 2010 05:30:49 -0800 (PST)
From: Ryan White <ryanstories@yahoo.com>
Subject: Sebastian's secret chapter 1

Hello friends. I just had to write this story on the back of the two
georgeous guys that i have seen this morning. They were sitting close at
the Milky Lane and eating ice cream with one feeding the other, fuck it was
so shitting sensual!

If you want to contact me and have a little chat, you can find me at
ryanstories@yahoo.com

Im always up for a little sexual talk. Im hot, 22 and horny! LOL.

Sebastian's secret

I have no idea when it happened. When i became like i am today. It is
supposed to be a sin in God's eyes and The Bible clearly states that one
man shall not lie with another and homosexuals will be condemned in the
lowers fires of hell. But one thing that The Bible, nor teachers, nor
parents nor all those biggots that hates faggots does not say is how the
hell is a gay kid or teenager suppose to cope of the feelings that one boy
develops for another! Or how to stop it. You all wanna know what? You
can't! You can send your children to all the so called clinics and doctors,
but it won't help! If you are a 16 year old boy and one day discover that
you have more than friendship feelings for your best friend, than what the
fucking hell are you supposed to do? Yes, that's right. I fell for the age
old scenario where you fell for your best friend. No, im not a girl, im a
guy. I'll never forget that time when I first met James. It was 5 years ago
and we were both 11. Oh, fuck to be eleven again and without any of this
shit going on! But yeah anyways when he leaned over the fence over our
house and asked if i wanted to come for a swim, that was the moment that
our friendship started and blossomed ever since. James was the kinds guy
that was game to try anything else, even run naked down the street when we
got drunk two years ago and out parents had to fetch us at the police
station when the neighbours called them after being exposed to a little too
much from either of us. And now, now me and my best friend were not even
speaking to eachother and it is all my own fucking fault. And i don't know
if I will ever get a chance to make everything right again. I don't care
about my feelings for James, i just desperately want my friend back.

My name is Sebastian Dane and like stated above, im am 16 years of age. It
was at a football game last year that i discovered the horrifying
truth. That i was in love with my best friend James Connely. Don't ask me
how the hell this happened. I honestly cannot tell you. Infact me and James
had until that time started to scope out girls that we wanted to get
together with and that we wanted to fuck as our hormones was starting to
get ahead of us. I had my eye on this beautiful brunette called Gina
Rawlins. She was our age and i was instantly smitten with her. We got along
well and even went out to see a couple of movies, and during What Happens
in Vegas, we started making out in the backrow of the movie thearte. I told
my parents that i was in love with Gina after my father asked me straight
out of there was somebody that i was in love with. I guess he saw a bit if
himself in me from when he was younger. Whatever. My mother was furious
when she discovered that my father had given me a condom to use if the need
should arrise. You can imagine how she reacted. Anyway, things went from
really good to really worse when Gina wanted to have sex. Unfortunately,
just as we were about to get it on, and don't get me wrong, my shirt,
trousers and boxers had come on rather easily and eagerly and my stiff 7
inch cock was standing straight up and proud, ready for its first journey
into a soft pussy, but a feeling of nervousness took hold of me just as
Gina was about to give me a blowjob. I mean, looking back now, you go ahead
and offer a blowjob or a fuck to a 15 year old boy and he will probably cum
as you offer him to. But i JUST COULD NOT GO AHEAD WITH IT! Until this day
i dont know why or how it happened. U can think for yourself what Gina made
of all of this. She went on a rampage about what was wrong with her,
because as she saw it, my cock was ready and willing to go until I saw her
naked, which could not have been further from the truth. I blacked out and
didn't even go over to James's after all that. Naturally as we were best
friends, James came over on the 4th straight day that we didn't see
eachother and wanted to know if he had done something wrong and if i was
pissed with him. I told him no. How the fuck could i tell him the real
reason.

"Bullshit man, your mother told me you even refused to go to school these
past couple of days! Dude, you're my best friend! I wanna help you, man!"

"James, just leave me alone. I just wanna be alone, can't anyone understand
that?"

"Okay dude, i dont wanna fight with you, so im just gonna go and hope you
will be your old self someday. Cheers."

And with that James left, and left me with my failed feelings. Slowly but
surely I started to realise that it was just panic, and I was brave enough
to speak to my father about it, and he told me that it was nothing to worry
about.

"Son, remember, it was your first time that you were intimate with a
girl. Some boys mature more fast and that's why you read in the paper of
girls that get pregnant at twelve or thirteen. You son, will make a fine
husband for your wife one day. I respect you for that you felt you had to
wait for a later occation. As long you don't come home and tell me you have
a crush on some boy, hey! Hahaha!"

My father patted my on the shoulder and tossed my hair around. I remember
sitting there and thinking, I would never be gay, Dad! Little did I know. A
year later at that fatal football game, i was waiting for James to arrive
and was eating a packet of crisps and drinking a Pepsi while waiting when i
saw him and waved him over. And surprise upon surprise, he had a girl with
him. They were making their way towards me and I felt this twitch of...what
should i call it...jealousy? I mean James was my best friend and we spent
every single moment together and too be honest, he was there for me when I
needed him the most over the years, and this was the first time that he had
a official girlfriend. So that's why i could not explain this sudden rush
of jealousy that raged through me.

"Dude, you're early! Sebastian, meet Jade, my girlfriend. Jade, this is my
best friend and brother of another mother, Sebastian."

"Hey there! It's so nice to meet you! James told me all about you. So you
guys have been best friends for a long time?"

"Yeah, i guess you can say that. Nice to meet you aswell, Jade. So when did
this all happen?"

"I met her in detention yesterday, remember i told you that i had to stay
after school? It was love at first sight, man," James said with a glint in
his eyes. It was pretty obvious that he was head over heals in love with
Jade. And I really thought that i had no problem with it. That was until
the next weekend. James and I had this thing that when a new horror movie
came out, we were usually first in the cue to go and watch it. Prom Night
was showing that the thearte and like a fool, just like i always did, i
dressed and walked next door to James's house and straight to his bedroom
window. It was a ritual between the two of us, to rather use this entrance
when we came over to the other's house. Like always, the window was open
and i pushed the curtains away...only to be shocked out of my life! James
was naked and Jade was giving him a blowjob! My eyes must have bulged out
of their sockets as I watched my friend do the exact same activity to which
i could not respond to a year earlier. I have never seen James look at me
with the expression that he did that afternoon.

"Dude, what the fuck are you doing here?" he screamed.

I couldn't answer, i just amde myself scarce and ran back to my house. As i
slammed the door closed, i started to hyperventilate slightly, as I shocked
and emotional the same time. I slowly made my way to my room and fell down
on my bed, trying to stare the reality of the situation in the eye. The
fact was simple, i wasn't jealous of James, that he had the fucking guts to
do what i couldn't, but the fact that Jade was giving James sexual
pleasure. And that freaked my out beyond that anything else could. I buried
my face into my pillow and pleaded with God to take these feelings
away. Feelings which a guy should not be feeling for another guy. As time
went on, I sent James a text message to apologize and he sent one back
saying that it was allright, and that I wasn't to know what was going on in
his room that day. It was crazy of me to believe that it was a one time
thing, me feeling that way towards my best friend. About two weeks after
the incident, James suggested that we go and watch Prom Night since Jade
had to spend the weekend with her parents at to visit her older brother on
his wedding aniversary in Brighton. Immediatly i knew that James wouldn't
even comtemplate spending the day with me if Jade wasn't gone. It was
becoming more apparant to me that i was losing James to Jade. That night we
had so much fucking fun! It was just like that days before Jade. We brought
popcorn and Cokes, sat right in the front row of the thearte, loudly
enjoyed the horrific killings in the movie by slapping and pushing
eachother around and then having dinner at MacDonalds afterwards. When he
got home, he turned to me after switching off the car.

"Thanks man. It was great. I kinda missed this, you know, only us two
hanging out. Im sorry that I haven't been a great friend lately."

"Come on James, surely Jade is more important to impress that I am!" i
laughed. Secretly i did not mean a fucking word of that as we got out of
the car and walked to the front of his house.

"Yeah bro, just remember...Jade might be my girlfriend, but you will always
be and remain my best friend. Nothing will ever change that. You know what
eill be so freaking cool? If you could patch things up again with Gina!
Then we can go out as a foursome! It was be so sick, the things that we can
get up to together!"

"Maybe not Gina dude, but i do have my eye on this one...well you will be
the first one to know if anything happens. I guarantee that."

"Yeah you fucking hounddog who couldn't get it up for a blowy!" James
laughed and placed his arm around me and pulled me closer. If I had to say,
that was the moment which my fears and my feelings were confirmed. All I
can recall was his strong body against mine, his cologne that he had on,
his voice next to my face...That was it, there was no denying it. We high
fived eachother and went to our respective houses. I walked like a
automatic robot towards my room and once more just fell on my bed. And for
the first time in about...what...four years, i started to cry. The tears
just could not stop dribbling out of my eyes. I didn't even feel that I had
to cry because my best friend would never return what I felt for him, it
was the unfairness of it all. Why was I having feeling for James? Why was i
having feelings for a boy? I sure as hell didn't ask for any of this. And
what scared me most was my religion. We all knew that Christianity and
homosexuality did not see eye to eye. And now i was in love with James. I
tried to compare the feelings I had for James to the affections i had to
all my other guy friends, and none came close. No, there was no
mistake. That was what I could not understand. The Bible said that God
would never bring you anything on yout path that which you could not
handle. Well i sure as fuck didn't know how to go about this!

Months went on and off without me ever telling James how I felt about him,
and clearly he wasn't in the mood to hear that his best friend was having
queer thoughts about him as he was painting the town red with Jade. One
night, a turning point in my life came to me from the most unlikiest person
that I ever thought. I finished eating my dinner and started washing the
dishes while my mother was drying them. After i was heading down the
passage to my room when my father called me to the study.

"Dad? You wanted to see me?"

"Yeah son. Sit down."

I did, and looked at him. What the fuck was going on here? My dad seemed
strange and weird. I tried to remember if I did something to make him mad,
but I couldn't think of anything.

"Son, there is something which has been bothering me for some time and now
and that i have my suspitions of. Please forgive me if i am wrong, but I
will not be a rightfull father to you if i didn't ask this. Sebastian, are
you gay?"

"Dad! Why on Earth would you ask me that?" Allright now i was fucked all
the way up. I had given him no idea of knowing about my feelings for
James. I didn't tell a single soul or write any emotional shit down in a
diary!

"Son, last year when you told me about what happened with Gina, I said to
myself: The boy is young, he will get his act together sooner rather than
later and meet a nice girl. It is now almost two years later and
still...Son, I saw James this afternoon with his girlfriend and he told me
that next week it will be their 6 month anniversary. I can't help to think
why you haven't...how should I say this...found someone! You don't even
talk about any girls ever! Son, that is not natural!"

"So Dad, it would be concidered natural if i meet a girl and fucked her raw
until she bleeds her previously virginal pussy red and make her pregnant
with my cum?"

F.U.C.K. I had never spoken to my dad like that before. I dont think he
even knew that I knew those words. My father stood up and looked down at
me.

"Get out."

"Dad, im sorry..."

"Get the fuck out! No son of mine speaks to me like that! You will stay in
your room until I say so! Go!"

The electronical clock on my night stand told me that it was 22:05. I was
so shitting tired, but didn't want to go to sleep. I knew that if i did, i
would have another wet dream like that one I had the previous evening. No
guesses who my lover was in the dream. I heard the window opening and
someone pushing the curtains away. A pair of legs appeared followed by the
body of the boy which I loved more than life itself. James stood over my
bed and sat down at the foot end.

"I heard screaming and shouting earlier, so I waited until all the lights
were off. Are you allright, buddy?"

My heart was screaming: "Yes, James! Im more than allright! Because you are
here! I want you in my arms so much! I love you!" But I just nodded and
turned to my other side, facing away from James. He didn't leave it there
though, he jumped on me in typical boyish manner and started to tickle
me. I had to start laughing and giggling because we had done this to
eachother since we were eleven and was still enjoyable to this day. We
ended up in a position where he was lying on top of me and i was looking
straight into this eyes. My heart leaped. I could not do this any
longer. My body and mind just could not take that kind of emotional
strain. I sat up and leaned over to James. I saw the slightest confusion in
his eye and his sneaky smile fading...that was the last thing I saw before
i passionately placed my lips on his and started to kiss him with all the
love that i felt for him. Im sure that he could feel the love transferring
from my body into his from that kiss...in the few seconds that it lasted
before he violently pushed me away and hastily wiped his mouth.

"Are you fucking queer or what, dude? What the fuck was that?" he whispered
angrily.

"James, you can think of me what you want. Im sorry man, but i can't hide
this any longer. If I do, my head will explode. I don't know how it
happened, man. I don't know why. But i fell in love with you, James. I
don't expect anything from you and if you choose to end our friendship,
I'll understand."

"Dude, that's just a little weird. That shit is gay shit, man! And i know
you, Sebastian, you're not gay. Not in a million years!"

"Get ready for a shock, my friend. I don't know if im gay. But i do know
that im in love with you. I love you so much man, it hurts to be away from
you and it kills me to see you and Jade so happy. Seeing you hold her and
wishing it was me. Watching you and hoping you would smile in my
direction. Just wanting to spend some time with you..."

"Sebastian, best friends or not, if you do not shut the fuck up right now,
im gonna beat this gay shit out of you!" James was shaking with anger
now. But i wasn't going to drop this.

"James, do you think that I asked for this? Like hell i wanna be gay! I
hate this! But i can't help it. I love you."

James looked at me with such utter disgust and it was then that i knew that
our friendship was over. Suddenly he reached out and slapped me across the
face. I wasn't so gay that i would fall over and dramatically grab my face,
but it was still hurting knowing that James did that. He headed for the
window, but before he climbed out, he turned around slightly.

"You know, I spent some of the best times of my life in this room. And with
you, my best friend. And, just all of that, now seems so fucked up! I can't
help thinking that our whole friendship was nothing but a lie."

"What the hell...?"

"Is that it? Did you become friends with me because you were in love with
me?"

I was so fucking shocked that, that was what he really thought of a
friendship of 5 years that i couldn't speak. He took that as an answer.

"Just as well i decided to slap you, you faggot. Just what a bitch like you
deserves." And he was gone.



Thank you for reading this three part series of Sebastian's secret. The
next chapter will be up soon. If you liked it, please send me a little mail
to ryanstories@yahoo.com