Date: Thu, 28 Oct 2010 23:02:47 -0700 (PDT)
From: Zk Sma <ilbld91@yahoo.com>
Subject: Secret Admirer 1

Before I get into the story, let's get the legal stuff out of the way. I am
above the age of 18 at the time of writing this story. I own all rights to
this story. Any likeness in name or actions to any of the characters in
this story with someone in real life are purely coincidental. If it is
illegal for you to read/view something like this in your area, you should
leave now. This story includes scenes of male/male sex with high school
aged men. If this is considered offensive, you should, once again,
leave. If nothing else, then read my excerpt, and enjoy.

This is my first stab at writing a story that is not just purely about sex.
The story is made up, although it does draw some influences from real life
scenarios. This is not a story that is all about 12 inch cocks, and buckets
of cum. This is a love story of sorts. Albeit is about teenage boys, so
there will be sex, but that is not what it is all about. I would appreciate
emails explaining suggestions, and how you liked the story. Also, I am my
own editor. I read the story more than once to check for mistakes. I do
know, however, That I am not perfect. If you find a mistake, let me know. I
will greatly appreciate it. Without further explanation, enjoy my story.

Secret Admirer-1 Background

"Hey, want one of my cookies?"  "Uh huh. You can have one of my grapes."
"OK. You're my best friend now."  "OK."

That happened 11 years ago, and thinking about it still makes me
smile. Talan was the first person to talk to me in Mrs. Thomas's
kindergarten class, and he was telling the truth. I was his best friend,
and I have been ever since. I guess that's what makes everything so
hard. We're both Juniors now and still the best of friends, but I wanted
more. I so desperately wanted to wrap my arms around him, not just as a
friend, but as something more.

I developed these feelings in the 8th grade, and when I realized that
nothing was going to come of them, I slipped into a spiraling depression. I
didn't know what to do, who to talk to, nothing. All I knew was that I
wanted it to end. I don't know why I decided on that day. It was going to
be so cruel, but I just couldn't bare it anymore. I decided that since the
end was near, I would write a note.

I'm sorry, I just can't do it anymore. Goodbye Mom and Dad.



Goodbye... T.

There was a knock on the door. I knew it was him. His knock was his own,
special, so I would always know it was him.

"Natty, you're decent right?" He called from behind the door. I didn't
answer. "Natty, will your hurry up. We are gonna be late for my party!" I
heard the door open. "Nate, man, are you going to sleep. You can't nap now
you ass..." He stopped mid-sentence.

I could barely see him pick up the note. My eyes were even heavier as he
picked up the bottle. He shook me violently. My eyes closed.

"Nathanial, wake up! Please, Don't leave me!" Those were the last words I
was going to hear. Laying in my bed, be shaken by the one person who I
truly loved, I was leaving this earth. The date was October 6th. It was
Talan's 17th birthday.

I could see light through my closed eyelids. I felt warm. I felt at ease. I
wasn't sure how, but I knew I was in heaven. I felt something squeeze my
hand, and that forced me to open my eyes. I saw Talan's face, I knew I was
in heaven. He appeared to be smiling. However, the more I looked into his
eyes, the more the reality set in.

Talan wasn't smiling. He wasn't even awake. He was laying his head down
next to mine. His hand was locked around mine. I wasn't sure what was going
on. I tried to speak, but I couldn't. I tried to sit-up, but, once again, I
couldn't. The only thing I could do was try and squeeze Talan's hand.

Nothing happened. I tried again. Once again, nothing happened. I figured I
would try one last time. I got a little movement this time. I tried once
more, more movement. The last time I tried, I didn't stop. I was finally
able to squeeze Talan's hand.

He stirred in his sleep. He obviously felt the squeeze. He moved his head,
and when he opened his eyes, his sleepy-eyed gaze was locked on our
hands. He saw that my hand was wrapped tightly around his. He studied it
for a minute or two, until I was beginning to feel completely drained. My
grip released, I no longer had control over my hand. However, the action
did not go unnoticed.

He continued to look at our hands, and then his eyes shifted. He went from
looking at our hands to looking at my face. He looked surprised, almost
like someone just punched him in the gut. His eyes started watering. He
looked liked he stopped breathing. I was completely confused.

"Nathanial, are you awake? Are you really awake?" He asked in an almost
pleading tone. `Why is he calling me Nathanial? This heaven is not anything
like I imagined it would be.' I thought to myself. I decided I would try to
squeeze his hand again in an answer. My lack of strength ended up making
the squeeze a simple pulse, but that was enough for him.

"Natty!" He hugged me hard. This was more like I expected heaven to
be. "You're awake! You're awake!"

He kissed my forehead. Case closed, I was in heaven. "I'm so glad you're
awake! You scared the shit out of me!" He hugged me again. I could get used
to this.

"Talan, honey, what's with all..." there was a voice I didn't expect to
hear. I mean sure, I loved my mother, but I didn't expect her to be a
staple in my heaven. However, before I had time to process what was going
on, I felt myself being pulled into another hug. "My baby! My precious baby
boy!" It was then that I was snapped into reality.

Looking at mother, I happened to look behind her as well. I noticed I was
in a small room. It was not a room I recognized. Then I realized why I
couldn't talk. There was a tube in my throat. I heard a faint beeping
sound. I wasn't in heaven, I wasn't even dead. I was in the hospital. I
didn't understand. I should be dead. I took the entire bottle of muscle
relaxers, all 90 pills. The bottle even said, "Fatal if consumed quantities
exceed prescribed amount." I should be dead right now! What the hell is
going on?

I was distracted from my thoughts when I heard something hit the floor. I
moved my head as best I could to see my father collapsed on the floor,
crying. I was so confused. I needed answers. I looked at my mother, she had
tears in her eyes. She was getting ready to embrace me again. I looked at
Talan. He had a steady flow of tears falling down his face. It was all too
much. I felt myself falling asleep again.

When I woke up the next morning, I knew something was different than my
previous, very confusing, awakening. Talan was still there, as were my
mother and father, but I felt different. I felt stronger. I looked at my
father, who had once again started crying. "Daddy..." It was so faint, I
wasn't sure if I had actually said it or thought it.

My father stood and rushed to my side. He began running his fingers through
my hair. "Nathanial. I'm here baby. I'm here." He leaned over and kissed my
forehead. I felt the warmth of his tears as he embraced me and our faces
touched. I didn't know if I would have the strength, but I was going to
try. I lifted my arms as best I could, and wrapped them around my fathers
back. His crying intensified as he held me in my bed.

When he finally released me, I realized that Talan, too, was crying. I was
still really confused. "T, what?" Still fainter than a whisper. He seemed
to hear me, though.

He quickly took my fathers spot and held me in the a very similar
embrace. "I thought I lost you Natty! I thought I lost my best friend on
this whole damn planet! Don't you ever do that to me again."

My father placed his hand on Talan's back. "Talan, maybe you should get
some rest, son. I will keep Nathanial company. You haven't slept since he
woke up yesterday. You need some sleep."

"Okay Mr. Q. Just wake me up if he asks for me, k?"

"Will do kid." My father took Talan's place sitting next to me as he got up
to get some rest. He looked into my eyes. He was still crying, but they
weren't sad tears. He had a smile on his face. "I thought I lost my baby. I
am so glad that I have my little boy here. Awake, and trying to talk to
boot. This is better than when you were born."

He stopped for a minute and looked back at mother. She was asleep in the
chair directly across from my bed. "You gave us one hell of a scare
kiddo. When I saw you like that I picked you up and ran with you here. I
guess it's a good thing we live so close to the hospital." He smiled when
he said that. "Now that is just one of the many reasons why I love that
woman more and more everyday. Her falling in love with that house helped me
save my baby."

I was still confused as hell, but I was getting my senses back. From what I
could gather, it has been almost a week and a half since I tried to kill
myself. Damn. I have been out that long? And what is with my dad? This is
way to much affection for him to show me. It's not like him at all. Just as
he is giving me another strong hug, the door to my room opened.

The doctor came in. "Ah, Nathanial. You're awake again. How are you
feeling?"

"Bad. Can't move much." My voice was a little bit louder, but still not
quite a whisper.

"Well, that much is to be expected when you swallow a bottle of muscle
relaxers. The feeling should start to return slowly, and you should be able
to do some walking around by tomorrow.

"Mr. Quincy, we have Dr. Rowland here. He is the psychiatrist that
specializes in attempted suicides. I know that Nathanial isn't going to be
doing any talking with him today, but he wants to go ahead and get his
background stuff done with you and Mrs. Quincy."

"Alright, Dr. Petters, go ahead and send him in. Well be happy to get this
done." The way he said it, he didn't sound like he would be happy. He
sounded more like he would be relieved.

Dr. Rowland asked my parents countless questions. It lasted for more than
two hours. I honestly had no idea how much my parents actually knew about
me. They told him how my behavior shifted starting in the 8th grade, they
told him how I was only genuinely happy when I was around Talan, and they
told him that I was only the shell of the child they used to have.

I wasn't upset at all by what they were saying because it was true. I was
just genuinely shocked at how much my parents paid attention to me. I know
my parents love me. We haven't always have been one of those "over-express
your feelings" type of families, so I really had no idea exactly how much
they cared. It made me think that maybe they would be able to accept my
secret. However, it wasn't them that pushed me to attempt suicide. It was
the person that my secret is centered around.

I knew I would never be able to tell Talan about my true feelings. That's
why I wanted to die. I wanted to escape the reality of living in a world
where I couldn't be with the person I loved. I was tearing my brain apart
thinking about what I was going to do. I didn't even notice that Talan had
woken up. He sat next to me and placed his hand on my leg.

"Man, you really scared me." He was looking in my eyes. He looked genuinely
upset.

"I know. I'm sorry." Barely a whisper, but it was improving.

"Why did you do it Nat? What is so bad about life that you don't want to
live anymore?"

"I have just been really confused. I wanted it to end."

"Well, you listen and you listen to me good. I do not know what I would
have done had I arrived at your room too late. You are one of the most
important people in my life, if not the most. You know almost everything
about me, and I don't keep anything from you. I love you, Nathanial. You
are my truest friend. I just want you to know, if you ever get confused
again, come to me. You can talk to me about anything. Absolutely
anything. I do not ever want to have to be here again. Do we have an
understanding?"

I had started crying at that point. His words meant so much to me. I wanted
to tell him everything, but I knew even though he meant what he just said,
he would never be able to accept my secret. "Yes, we have an
understanding. I am sorry Talan. I really am. I love you too."

*

The doctor was right, the next day I was walking around a bit, nothing too
strenuous. Just trying to get my strength back. A few days later I was back
to my old self, physically, and I was getting ready to be released from the
hospital. I just had to have my session with Dr. Rowland.

I ended up telling him everything. Honestly, just being able to say it out
loud took some of the pain away from it. It still hurt that I could never
be with Talan, but not enough to want to end my life. At least, not
anymore. After our session, Dr. Rowland gave me his number and told me he
wanted to see me once a month. Of course, when he informed my parents, they
totally agreed.

That was two weeks ago. I have since returned to school and gotten back
into my sports. Everyone at school was super supportive of me. They didn't
really have the details, but they were all there to help. In fact, I was
kinda getting annoyed by the overwhelming amount of "help" offered to me by
my class and teammates.

Even though this next part is going to sound super creepy, I have to
include it. It is a very crucial part to my existence today.

I had just got home from cheerleading practice (say what you will, but my
parents forced me to do it for the scholarship opportunities), and I was
feeling a little horny. I mean this is the first time since my attempted
suicide that I had had any sexual feelings at all. I went up to my room,
and I was just getting ready to do my homework. My parents were going to be
home soon, so there was no point in trying to jerk off, because they would
not let me have a lock on my door anymore, understandably. If we're being
honest, my parents took away many luxuries of my life. They are afraid that
I will try committing suicide again, so they have placed very strict rules
on me. I am not allowed any more than 10 minutes in the bathroom for a
shower. I am to answer their phone calls by the second ring. I have to
leave my door open at all times, unless I am asleep. My parents get to do
weekly room inspections, and daily body inspections. Essentially, while I
thought it was a good thing at the time, attempting suicide was stupid. I
will have to live with the consequences of that mistake until I move out,
and even after that. My parents are pretty much going to be on me for the
rest of my life.

When I got to my room, however, I got a nice little surprise. There was a
note left on my bed.

Nate, I am taking mom on a date night tonight.  We need a little fun. We
will back tomorrow around 5 in the afternoon.  However, we will be calling
you frequently.  We will gladly come home if you need us.  Love You, Daddy

This meant I had the house to myself. Screw not having a lock on my door. I
was going to jerk off. I started to head towards my computer, then I got an
idea. `Why look at guys I don't know when I can look at the guy I love' I
thought to myself. I went to my closet and pulled out three things. By the
time I set them on my bed, I was already hard as a rock.

I dropped my shorts, and then my jock. I took my shirt off. I was ready to
go. I grabbed the lube I had just put on my bed, and squeezed some onto my
hand. I slowly started to rub the liquid onto my aching cock. It has been
almost a month since I experienced any kind of sexual relief. I really
needed this.

As I stood there, slow stroking my shaft, I picked up Talan's shirt off of
my bed. I held it to my nose and sniffed it. It smelt just like him. A
mixture of his sweat and cologne, masculine and sweet all at the same
time. My favorite kind of drug.  While keeping the shirt pressed to my
nose, I began to look at the picture I had put on my bed. The badly stained
picture still showed what I have came to so many times before. Talan and me
at my 16th birthday party. It was in August so I decided to have my party
at the lake. My mom told us she wanted to get a picture so we posed.

Talan being the goof ball he is, right as she snapped the picture, he
kissed my cheek. Of course, at that time, I punched him and we both
laughed. I'm sure he didn't realize his action was going to fuel my many
sexual fantasies. Looking at the picture, I couldn't help but be reminded
why I was so attracted to him. He was an Adonis. About 6' 1", he didn't
have an ounce of fat on him. His well sculpted pecks were a great opening
for his washboard abs. He was absolutely chiseled. He had that perfect "v"
shape that lead my eyes to his board shorts. You could see a hint of a tan
line. His skin is perfectly tanned. Although his eyes are closed in the
picture, they are the most pure crystal blue I have ever seen. Framed by
his black eyebrows, which matched his shaggy black hair. He had some facial
hair, but not too much.  What he did have, he kept neat and clean, in the
chin-strap fashion. That only helped to draw my eyes to his lips. Those
luscious lips looked so kissable. Those lips framed my favorite part of
him. His smile. He had the most perfect smile. Perfectly straight ivory
white teeth. Of course I felt special when I saw that smile because I was
the only person he smiled like that at. Everyone else got his closed-lipped
smile. Not me, I got his toothy-grin.

Just thinking about that, I started stroking my cock a little faster. I was
fully hard and my 7 and half inches needed some major relief. That is when
my thoughts took a dirtier turn. I was done admiring what everyone
admired. I was moving into the parts I really loved to think about in times
like this. I started thinking about the locker room. The time I walked in
on him when he thought he was the only one left after practice. I
remembered that day like it was yesterday.

I had to go to the nurse because I thought I may have sprained my
ankle. When she told me I probably just landed on it the wrong way, I
decided she was probably right. I returned to the gym to catch a shower
before heading home. When I walked through the door, I heard a shower
running. I remember thinking `Who would still be here'. I
investigated. What I found surprised me.

Talan was standing under the running water. I was about to say something to
him, but I got distracted by his ass. It was absolutely perfect. Two firm
mounds of pure muscle, and for some reason they were flexing. I was
slightly confused. That's when he turned around.

He was jacking off! He turned around, and I saw him snaking his hand up and
down his shaft. It was the most beautiful erect cock I have ever seen. It
looked like it was roughly the same length as mine, but his was fat. Much
fatter than mine. I was so captivated by watching him, I guess I sorta lost
track of how long I was staring. The next thing I know, I hear him moaning,
and he is shooting cum all over the shower floor.

Just reliving that part of the memory never failed me. I was moving my hand
quickly over my erection. I was nearing orgasm fast. Just as I was about to
cum, Talan walked in.

"Hey, do you wanna..." He stopped talking when he noticed what I was doing.

I couldn't control myself, I started cumming. I came hard too. A month's
worth of ball build up releasing. It was intense. I almost fell
backwards. Then I heard laughing, followed by clapping.

"What a fucking load. Didn't know you had something like that in you Natty!
Great show," he teased.

I was mortified, but I tried to play it off. "Yeah, its been building for a
while. I needed some release."

It was then that I realized I was still holding his shirt. I quickly, but
nonchalantly, tossed it to the floor. Then he looked at my bed.

"Dude, good luck explaining that stain to your mom." He bellowed laughter,
and I couldn't help but laugh along. He walked closer. I didn't know why. I
was about to find out.

"Natty, whose picture did you cream man?"

"Huh?" I was genuinely confused.

"The picture laying on your bed. You were looking at it when you came. You
creamed it! I bet its Tabatha, isn't it?" However, he didn't wait for a
response. I couldn't believe what he did next. He reached over and picked
up the picture. It was soaked with my cum, but he obviously didn't care.

I was on the verge of tears. He looked at the picture, then at me, and then
back at the picture. He had this troubled look on his face. He dropped the
picture back on my bed, " I have to go." That was all he said. He darted
out of my room.

I felt a very familiar feeling sweep over me. I knew what this feeling
was. No matter, I wasn't going to try and do that to myself again.

I tried to call after him, but I wasn't able to speak. I didn't know what I
was going to say if I did call his name, so I guess it was for the best. I
had to think of something to tell him.

I heard his car door open and shut. I rushed to the window. He was in his
car hurriedly backing out of my driveway. He was definitely too far away
for me to be able to read his expression. However, I didn't need to read
it. I knew he thought the absolute worst. But still, I couldn't help but
think to myself if my eyes deceived me. Did I really just see Talan smiling
as he was pulling away?

No, it had to be some sort of grimace that my heart tricked my eyes into
believing was a smile. I don't even really have time to be thinking about
stuff like this. I have to come up with something to say him. It was going
to have to be super convincing, and, unbeknownst to me, it was going to
have to really soon.

 I barely had time to clean myself and my bed up and put on some clothes
when my phone went off.

"I don't have time to deal with you right now dad. I have much bigger fish
to fry," I said aloud to myself while reaching for my phone. I did think it
was weird that my dad would be sending me a text instead of calling, but it
was around the time for him to be checking in.

I picked up my phone to see what my dad wanted. I pushed the unlock button
up top to light up the screen.

Talan Ivory New text Message

Damn! I wasn't expecting this so soon. I really wasn't expecting to even
talk to him until tomorrow. I very slowly slid my finger across the screen
to unlock my phone, I put in my pass code, 1006 (I'll let you figure that
one out), and clicked my text message application. I tried to avoid reading
what the message said. I tried concentrating on the conversation we were
having through text in our 3rd block class. However, my eyes were drawn to
what he wrote.

Talan: Dude, what was all that about?

Me: All what dude? I was just getting a little release is all. I haven't
drained my balls in a while man.

Talan: You know damn well what I'm talking about here Natty! Don't you dare
play dumb on me!

Me: I really don't know...

Talan: Why did you cream that picture of us?

Me: I did not, as you put it, "cream" that picture of us. It was simply
already on my bed. I can't help it where I shoot! It's not my fault it got
drenched, but while we're asking questions, why did you pick something up
that was covered in my cum Tally?

Talan: Don't flip this shit on me!  I was just asking a question
Nathanial. I mean I thought it was a little weird that you were cumming on
our picture, but if you say it was just a case of wrong place, wrong time,
then I believe you. As for your question, you had your first wet dream in
my bed when we were 13! This isn't exactly the first time I have had your
cum on me. At least this time it was on my hand and not my leg. Haha

Me: Haha, I forgot about that. Sorry I over-reacted. We cool Tally?

Talan: Never weren't Natty.

Me: Cool. So what were you here for anyway. Just checking up on me for my
dad?

Talan: Naw man. I was going to see if you wanted to come over. Since your
house is on my way home, I figured I would just pick you up.

Me: Offer still stand? I'm bored as hell... Now anyway. Ha

Talan: Haha, yeah man. Offer still stands.

Me: Cool. I'll be there in like 30. I have to get a shower.

Talan: Alright man. Just let yourself in when you get here. I'll probs be
hiding all the picture of us. My dad will get pretty mad if you start
creaming the house. There are a shit ton of pictures of us here...

Me: HA HA. Very fucking funny. I'll see you later, ass.

Talan: See ya then, cunt!

I jumped in the shower very relieved. My crisis had been averted. I just
had to call and tell my dad I was going to Talan's house.

*

My dad was fine with me going to Talan's house. In fact, he sounded
relieved. Ever since my attempt at suicide, my dad has been the most
worried about me. I guess him knowing I would be at my best friend's house
eased his mind about being away from home.

As I hung up the phone, I started getting ready. I pulled on some gym
shorts and a tee. I went back to the bathroom and brushed my teeth, then
looked at myself in the mirror. I looked pretty attractive, I thought. Man
it had been a long time since I thought that, but looking at myself now, I
couldn't believe I ever doubted what people told me. I know, I know. This
sounds totally conceited, but I was just glad that my self-doubt was slowly
slipping away.

I continued to look into the mirror. I shook my head a little to the side
to get my cotton-blonde hair out of my eyes. I could finally see my eyes,
and I realized that everyone was telling the truth, I had the most emerald
green eyes that I had ever seen. I couldn't help but smile at that, which
showed me my smile. It was nice enough, straight white teeth framed by
soft, pinkish lips, accented by two very pronounced dimples. I then looked
at the bit of a goatee I had going on. It was slightly darker than my hair,
but matched the color of my eyebrows. It set nicely on my square jaw.

"You look good kid," I said to myself in the mirror,

I left the bathroom, and went back to my room. I grabbed my flip-flops and
my wallet. I threw my hoodie on(even though I had on gym shorts, its almost
November) and grabbed my keys. I was out the door, and in my car in a
flash. I hooked up my iPhone to my radio, and went to my favorite play
list. As the beginnings of the first song started playing, I backed out of
my driveway and headed to Talan's house.

About halfway there, a song came on that I hadn't listened to in a
while. While the name and artist aren't important, I can tell you the
message screamed volumes at me. The song is about the artist telling the
person he loves to tell him that they love him. I couldn't understand why I
was so shaken by this particular song right now. Then it hit me. My
subconscious wanted me to tell Talan I loved him!

There was no way I could do that. I mean I just couldn't. However, I knew
that I was going to have to do something, or I would never have any peace
of mind, at least not that particular night. I decided I would just drop a
bomb. I would tell him I was gay. He was my best friend. He wasn't going to
care.

"What am I thinking. Of course he is going to care. He isn't going to my
best friend anymore. He is going to dump me, and send me straight back into
my dark place." I couldn't help but speak my thoughts. I was so
worried. However, I knew I had to tell him. I had kept it from him for so
long. It was time he knew.

I didn't even realize it, but through all of my thinking and worrying, I
had arrived at Talan's house. I parked where I usually did, right behind
his garage spot, and proceeded to get out of my car. Half way up the
stairs, Talan opened the front door.

"Natty my man. Glad you made it. Don't worry, all our pictures are hidden,"
he kidded me as he pulled me into a hug.

"Fuck off Tally!" I replied returning the hug.

He laughed, and then pulled away from me. He looked at me and then
smiled. "Dude, you are always wearing my shit."

"Huh?" I had no idea what he was talking about.

"My gym shorts dude. Those are my basketball practice shorts man. I forgot
I left them at your house. Of course you wouldn't return 'em. All you ever
do is wear my shit."

"Aww, I'm sorry dude. I didn't even look as I pulled them on. They were
just sitting in my draw...hey! That a way to call me out when you are just
as guilty. I do recall those being my baseball shorts!" I looked at my
shorts that he was wearing. I started moving my eyes up from the shorts and
something else caught my eye. "Dude! That's my cheer sectionals shirt too!
Don't you own any of your own shit?"

"Oh, don't get your panties in a wad. You know I was just kiddin'. Now come
on in. It's pretty cold out here, and I got that new madden game. I'm ready
to pound your ass, once again!"

I blushed slightly at his word choice. If he only knew the double meaning I
took his phrasing in. He noticed the blush, and started ushering me into
the house. "Dude, get in here. Your cheeks are starting to turn red. I
don't want you getting sick man."

We went inside and directly up to his room. We were playing the game, and
he was indeed "pounding my ass." We had been playing for about an hour when
he started talking.

"So, what's with the worried look you've had on your face? Something you
need to get off your chest man?"

"Well," I so wasn't ready for this. I had all but forgotten about my plans
to tell him, but I wanted to prolong it as long as possible. "I guess I
sorta have something to tell you."

He put his controller down and stared at me contently. "I'm all yours
Natty. Lay it on me."

Again, I blushed. Him and his double entendres today. "Well, I have known
for a long time...and I have always meant to tell...you. I guess...I just
didn't know when the time was...right." I managed to stutter out.

"Dude, never be afraid to tell me anything! I will always have your back."
He placed his hand on my back, and started to pat it a little.

"Well, Talan, what I've been meaning to tell you is tha-" I got cut off.

"Talan Ashleigh Ivory! Get down here at once!" Talan's father sounded
pissed. I, on the other hand, was relieved.

"Natty, hold that thought. Let me go see what I did this time." He jumped
off the bed we were sitting on and darted out of the door. I tried to
listen, but all I could were bits and pieces. From the jist of what I was
hearing, someone had fallen behind on the chores, which caused something to
fall on Talan's dad's motorcycle, breaking a light or something.

"Sorry about that. I'm in pretty deep shit, but I told dad we were talking
about something important, so he said we would deal with it tomorrow. You
were saying?"

"Well, I was trying to tell you that I'm...I'm...g...gay." I looked down
when I said the last part. I felt a wetness in my eyes. I was tearing up. I
just told my best friend I was gay, and now I was going to cry. He would
surely never want to be around me now. Who wants a pathetic pansy gay boy
as a friend?

"I know. I'm just glad you finally told me." He stated matter-of-factly.

I was stunned. He knew? He never acted like he knew. But moreover, it
didn't seem like he cared.  I was really confused. "You know? How?"

"Well Natty, let's be honest for a minute. You have had countless
girlfriends, but you never talk about them much. You certainly never look
at girls the way most guys do. Not to mention, you spend an awful lot of
time comparing in the showers after gym. I have known since we were in the
eighth grade. The wet dream you had. You were talking in your sleep. Brad
Pitt, eh?" He was laughing. He was taking this so much better than I had
expected. I was relieved, and yet also terrified.

"Do you think anyone else knows?"

"No. Everyone always says you are so quiet about girls because you respect
their pride or some shit. Apparently you are snagging more pussy than
anyone at school! Pretty impressive for a gay boy."

"Really? People are really saying shit like that? That kinda strokes my ego
a bit, but its also pretty gross. Thinking about doing a girl...makes me
sick."

"I can tell. You're practically turning green." He laughed and grabbed his
trashcan. "Hurl in this, and not on floor, k?"

"Fuck off Talan!" I laughed nervously. He was still sort of smiling, then
his face took a very serious look. Oh no, he was going to tell me we
couldn't be friends any more. I couldn't do this! My eyes were watering
again. I got up to go before he could say anything.

"Wait!" He stopped me and pulled me into a fiercely tight hug. "Gay,
straight, bi, I don't care! You are my best friend Natty! There is no way I
would ever let something like this ruin our friendship! Something as small
as you being who you are, that is just stupid. I love you, man. Nothing is
going to stop that. Had you died when you, ya know, I wouldn't have had a
say in whether or not I lost you. I do have a say now! I am not going to
lose you Natty!"

I lost it. I started sobbing. I couldn't control myself. Talan was still
hugging me fiercely, and he began stroking my hair. "Natty, its going to be
alright. I am here for you now, and always will be. I will get you through
this. Even if its just you and me in the end, I will stand by you no matter
what."

I looked at his face. He was crying too. I could tell he meant everything
he was saying. "Thank you so much Tally! I wasn't sure I was going to be
able to make it without you."

He was still stroking my hair. "Is that why you tried to kill yourself? You
thought you would lose me?" I nodded. He started crying harder, and he
pulled me into another strong hug. "Don't you ever think something like
that! You are never going to lose me! Never! I will always be there for
you. No matter what."

We held that embrace for a long time. When we both stopped crying, we went
back and set on the bed. We were silent for a good while. I didn't exactly
know what to say, and I don't think he did either. Like usual, though, he
broke the ice.

"You know, this doesn't change anything Natty. Nothing is going to be
different between us."

I was hurt by his words. Did he think I was coming out and coming on to
him? I started in on the defensive. "I didn't tell you that in hopes of you
saying you loved me Talan. I didn't expect anything from you at all!"

"Wow, dude, that hurts. I didn't mean it like that. I meant our friendship
is not going to change. I'm not going to act weird around you, and vice
versa. But its good to know you think so highly of me." He got up from the
bed, and started to leave his room. Great, I jumped to conclusions. Now I
needed to apologize.

"Talan." He turned around. "I'm sorry. It's just, my emotions are on
overload right now, and I am not really sure how to take things. I didn't
mean to make you feel bad. You should know how highly I think of you! I
love you! You are my very best friend in this entire world! Please don't
let what I said come between us!"

He smiled my smile. "That's what I was looking for! Just because you're
gay, you think you get all the attention. I was giving you everything you
needed, and you hadn't once helped me out. I need some love too!"

I couldn't help but crack a smile. We sat in his room, and talked for hours
about everything. It was about ten when my dad called me.

"Nathan, son, its time you headed on home. We will be here waiting on you."

I was about to respond when Talan grabbed my phone. "Mr. Quincy, can Natty
stay over tonight? We have been playing my new game, and we almost have it
beat. I just can't have him leave me high and dry right now." After he said
that, he put the phone on speaker.

"Talan, did Nathanial put you up to this?" My dad inquired. Just like him.

"No sir. It's just that I really wanna finish this game. I promise I will
have him to school in the morning, and his homework is already
done. Please?"

"Well, I guess its okay. You take care of my boy. Call me if anything
happens. I'm available all through the night! No matter the time. Can you
give the phone back to Nathanial please?"

"Yes sir! Thank you sir!"

Talan took the phone off of speaker and handed it back to me. "Thanks for
letting me stay dad."

"Nathanial, you be honest with me. Do you two have girls over there right
now?"

"No sir!" I blushed. Talan gave me an inquiring look. "It is just us and
Mr. Ivory. I promise."

"Okay, well don't you two stay up too late, and you call me if you need
anything at all? Understand?"

"Yes sir."

"Even though I believe you, listen to me perfectly. I know the rumors about
what a stud you are at school. If there is a girl there, and you get her
pregnant, you are going to have to deal with me. I may love my son, but I'm
definitely not afraid to light into his ass, you understand?"

I blushed a deep scarlet red. "Yes sir. I understand"

"Just make sure to wrap it up son. I love you, and I will call you in the
morning. Sweet dreams Skipper."

"Awh, dad. Still with that nickname? I love you too. Good night Daddy." I
hung up the phone.

"Dude, what the hell did your dad say? You were so red." Talan inquired.

"He asked me if we had girls over, because apparently he has heard the same
rumors about me that you were telling me about, and then he threatened me."

"Threatened you?" Talan looked nervous.

"Yeah, he said if I got a girl pregs he would kick my ass."

Talan bellowed out laughter. "If he only knew, Natty. If he only knew!"

I hit him with a pillow, and we both started laughing.

*

At about midnight, I decided it was time to hit the hay. Talan apparently
had the same idea as me. He got up, and started turning down his covers to
get into bed. I got up and headed for the door. As I was turning the
handle, he called to me. "Where the hell are you going? I thought you were
spending the night."

"I am. I'm going to the guest room."

He looked at me puzzled. "Why?"

"I just thought that since I told you I-" he cut me off.

"I thought I told you nothing was going to change. It's not like you are
going to rape me in my sleep. And if you do, I will at least let you get
your rocks off before I kick your ass, but I will kick your ass. Besides,
you know I can't sleep without something to hold onto."

"You sure?"

"Shut the fuck up, and get in the damn bed."

I walked back over to his bed and climbed in. I pulled the covers up, and
started to close my eyes to go to sleep. Just like every other time I spent
the night, Talan scooted close to and threw his arm over me. He pulled me
in close to him, and snuggled me close. I remembered this happening for the
first time in 7th grade. I went into a flashback.

*

"Umm, Talan, why are you cuddling me." I was really confused.

"I heard him start crying. I went from being confused to worried. He had
only lost his mom a week ago, I knew he was still dealing with a lot.

"This is the first night that I haven't slept with my dad since momma
died. Dad cuddles me as I cry myself to sleep. I don't think I can sleep
without someone holding onto me, or me holding onto someone. If you aren't
cool with it, I'll just go get in bed with my dad. He knows I'm going
through a lot. He says I make him forget, even if just for a minute, that
momma's gone when he holds me close."

That was not the answer I expected. I knew he was deeply affected by the
loss of his mother. Understandably so. They were close. Even as he was
getting older, he was not ashamed of the love he showed his mother. Anytime
he would have a nightmare, his mother could almost sense it, and he would
wake up in his parents' bed, cuddled between his mother and father.

"You don't have to go to your dad's bed. You can cuddle me. I don't care."

Ever since then, that's how we slept at his and my house. I explained to my
parents what he told me, and they understood as well.

*

Snapping back from my flashback, I heard his breathing steady, and I knew
he was drifting to sleep. I also began to close my eyes. I was really
tired. I guess coming out takes a lot out of you. Right as I closed my
eyes, I heard him start to speak.

"Nothing is changed Natty. Goodnight."

"Goodnight Tally. I'll see you in the morning."

*

All through the night. I had the most amazing sex dreams. They were all
starring my bed mate. At one point, I knew that the orgasm I was having in
my dream was causing an orgasm in reality. However, I couldn't bring myself
out of the dream. Talan's sucking felt so real. Dream or not, this was
going to give me jack off material for the rest of my life. Looking down
and seeing his head bob up and down on my prick. Feeling him pull his mouth
off of it and licking the sensitive head. Watching him sticking his tongue
into my piss slit, and get some of my pre-cum on his tongue. Then he would
launch back down on my dick. Feeling his throat contract around my cock is
what sent me over the edge in the dream, and that is what sent me over the
edge in reality.

When I woke in the morning, I began to panic. I knew I had an orgasm in my
sleep, and that was going to freak Talan out. Waking up, and finding I had
came while sleeping with him, only hours after I told him I was gay. It was
going to be too much for him. I looked down, under the covers, at my crotch
in order to clean things up a little bit before he woke up.

Much to my surprise, there wasn't anything there. No cum, no anything
really. Just my usual morning wood. Talan shifted a little in his sleep,
and pulled me closer to himself. He never moved much while asleep, and I
always woke up still in his arms. He cradled me closer to his body.

In this new spooning position, I found that were in the same situation. We
both had morning wood. His was placed right against my ass. I guess that
the sensation must have been pleasant because he subconsciously began to
hump my ass.

He was still humping and he began to grunt slightly. He was picking up
speed. I could feel that his erection was no longer just morning wood, it
was now a full blown sexual erection. I glanced over my shoulder, and he
was still asleep. I figured, no harm no foul, so I let him continue what he
was doing.

His breathing became erratic and his movements became much more
eager. Soon, I felt something warm on my butt. He was cumming through his
underwear, and he was soaking my backside in it. This sent me over the
edge, and I came without touching my cock. I was really embarrassed now,
but I didn't know what to do.

I heard him stir, and knew that he was starting to wake up. I closed my
eyes, and acted like I was asleep. I felt him pick himself up, arm still
draped over me, and I heard him chuckle. He ran his hand along my back and
ass, tracing the remaining cum. He took his arm from around me, and reached
in his floor to pick something up. I felt something rub against my back,
and I realized he was cleaning me up. When he was done, he put his arm back
around me and laid back down.

I had started drifting back to sleep, and I guess he did the same
thing. The next thing I hear is a loud beeping noise. The arm he has around
me reaches over and silences his alarm clock. He stretches a bit, and the
he calls to me.

"Natty, wake up. We need to get ready!"

"I'm up. I heard the alarm clock.."

I turned over and looked at him. He smiled my smile, and very sleepily
said, "Good morning sunshine. How did you sleep?"

I rolled my eyes. "You are always so cheery in the mornings. I slept
fine. Yourself?"

I had gotten up to stretch as I answered his question. "Looks like you
slept about as good as I did. Wet dreams? Still?"

I looked down at my crotch. I was crusty with dried cum. "Yeah. I guess
so." I tired to laugh it off.

"Brad Pitt again?" he laughed.

"Ha Ha Ha. No. It was actually George Clooney." He roared laughter.

"Dude, shut up. You are gonna make me wet the bed. We gotta get showers,
and you gotta take off my shorts. I want them back, but we gotta wash the
cum off." He was still laughing.

"Talan, y'all need to start getting ready. I want y'all outta the house
before I leave." Talan's dad poked his head in the door. "Jesus Nathan, how
did you get cum on the back of those shorts?" Talan exploded with laughter
when his dad asked that.

"Uh, I don't know." I replied while scratching my head. I began blushing.

"Oh, I guess Talan got you, huh? That's why the boy can't sleep with me
anymore. He ruined all my pants. Now hurry up boys. Let's get this show on
the road."

By this point, Talan had stopped laughing. His dad's story must have
embarrassed him because he was redder than I was when my dad and I had our
talk on the phone last night. "Natty, give me my shorts, and you can go hop
in the shower first."

"Dude, do you still have any of my clothes here? I didn't think I was
staying, so I didn't bring any."

"I only have what I have on. The rest of what I had I gave back. Go on
ahead and get in the shower. I'll get you something to wear."

"Okay, thanks."

"Welcs. Just make sure to save me some hot water. I hate taking cold
showers."

"I'll do what I can." With that, I hurried to his bathroom. I hopped in,
scrubbed, and hopped out. It couldn't have taken me more than five
minutes. However, that was plenty of time, apparently, for Talan to piece
me together an outfit. I just figured he was going to get me some sweats or
something. That wasn't in his thoughts, I guess, because when I got back to
his room, he had me a nice outfit set out.

*

Damnit, he thought of everything. I walked over to the bed, and finished
drying off. I then reached out and picked up the underwear he laid out. I
knew he still had some clothes of mine. These were my favorite pair of
Calvin Kleins. I slipped them on first. Next I picked up the undershirt. I
started to put it on, and then I remembered something very important,
deodorant. I went to his night stand and pulled out the extra stick that I
keep over at his house. I applied some, and then went back to
dressing. After I pulled on the undershirt, I picked up the pants. I had
never seen Talan wear these, so I assumed they were new. I slipped them on,
and the fit me perfectly. I mean we always wore the same size clothes, but
these seemed like they were made for me. The fit snugly across my firm, but
rather large, ass, and only left a little to the imagination in the crotch
department. Just how I liked my pants. `He's not getting these back,' I
thought to myself.

"Dude, you still aren't dressed yet? I figured you would be downstairs
getting breakfast by now. Worse than a damn girl." Talan said as he walked
back into the room with just a towel on. I took a minute to admire his body
from head to toe before I retorted.

"You were what, in the shower for like 3 minutes? It takes me longer to
scratch my ass."

"I was in there for ten minutes, and that's understandable. You have a big
ass."

"Dick! No I do not. Its very average."

"Natty, chill. I didn't say it wasn't nice or anything. Just big. There is
definitely nothing wrong with a big ass." He smiled my smile. I let the
subject go.

"Anyways, I'm almost done getting dressed. What's with this outfit though?
I figured you would just get me some sweats."

"Dude, you are so dense. It's picture day. Gotta have you looking fresh for
picture day."

"Oh shit, I totally forgot about that. Good lookin' out."

"That's what I'm here for. Now hurry up and finished getting dressed."

"Just let me put on the shirt and I'm done."

"Well, stop talking about it and do it. I gotta get dressed too, and you
are sorta standing right in front of my spot."

I finished buttoning up the shirt as I turned around to respond, "Sorry,
I'm done now."

My smile crept across his face again. "Damnit I'm good."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Dude, look at yourself in the mirror."

"Okay." I walked over to the mirror, and almost immediately realized what
he meant. I don't know if he intentionally picked the clothes he did, or if
he just reached for something nice, but either way, I looked hot. The jeans
looked better than they felt, and the subtle fade in them really
accentuated my nicely sculpted legs. My bulge looked pretty impressive as
well. Looking at the shirt, I realized that the colors in it made my eyes
shine. The shirt was mostly black, but it had several emerald vertical
stripes on it, that really complimented my eyes.

"Dude, you weren't kidding. I look damn good today."

"Oh, no thank you? No `Talan you dress me better than I dress myself. What
can I ever do to repay you?'"

"Oh shut up! And thank you."

I grabbed my shoes and headed down the stairs for some breakfast. I guess
because I have been friends with Talan for so long, I am used to just
helping myself to whatever is in the fridge or cabinets. I decided on a
bowl of cereal, and I also decided that Talan would be having the same
thing. I poured two bowls, and, after pouring milk in my bowl, left it
sitting on the counter. As I took my first bite, Talan was walking into the
kitchen.

"So, am I picture worthy?" He asked as he came up and grabbed his bowl.

With as good as he dressed me, he did a hell of a lot better on himself. I
couldn't speak. He looked...beautiful. That's the only way I can describe
him. His pale blue button up was the PERFECT compliment to his eyes, and
provided such a striking contrast to his hair, I almost gasped when I saw
him. His pants were the exact same as mine, but they seemed to fit him
better. I couldn't take my eyes off him.

"Earth to Natty. Hello! You in there?" Talan's hand was waving in front of
my face.

"I'm sorry...what?"

"I said do I look picture worthy?"

I wanted to tell him he looked gorgeous, but of course I didn't. Instead I
settled for, "As long as you're in the back of the yearbook."

He punched me in the arm and we started laughing.

*

We were cutting up and carrying on while we ate. Just as we finished our
cereal and were pouring out the remainder of the milk, Talan's dad walked
into the kitchen.

"What? Are you two auditioning for a modeling agency or something today?"
Talan's dad asked.

"Huh?" We both replied in unison.

"You guys look good. GQ material, most definitely."

Once again, he got a unison reaction from us. We blushed, and replied,
"Thanks."

"Anytime studs." He laughed. "Y'all have a good day at school. Remember to
take a big stick. Y'all will need it to keep the ladies from jumping you."
He laughed once again, grabbed an apple, and headed through the garage
door. We heard the garage open and close, and took that as our cue to leave
as well.

"I have to admit, we look pretty hot today," Talan said as he got into the
passenger seat of my car.

"Well, you do. I look like this everyday. No matter what I'm wearing." I
teased. "You on the other hand, this is an unusual day for you."

"Oh please, without my exceptional sense for what suits you style wise, you
would be all ass, as usual."

"You are hung on my ass today," I replied.

"Well, its so damn big, it's the first thing anyone sees when they see
you."

Damn, I could feel my insecurities setting in. "Is it really that big? I do
squats all the time. I don't want a fat ass. I just don't know how to get
rid of it." Was I tearing up? What the hell was wrong with me?

Talan put his hand on my shoulder, "Natty calm down. It's a nice ass. May
be big, but its all muscle."

I decided to take this and twist it. "So you like my ass?" Damnit, what the
hell is going on in my head today.

"Yeah, its nice." Did I hear that correctly? He likes my ass? I decided to
let it go. I didn't need to pop a boner on the way to school. In these
pants, he would definitely notice.

As we pulled up to the school, Talan reached over and turned the radio
down. "Hey, drop me off at the front. I have a couple things I have to take
care of in the office today. I'll meet you in the caf before first."

"Okay," I said as I let him out. I wondered what he had to do.

I parked in my usual spot after letting Talan out at the front, and walked
into the cafeteria. I went to my usual table and joined my friends. A loud
whistle came from the whole group.

"Look at sexy walking up." Brad Sterno, my second best friend, said.

"Yeah, looks like I'll be dumping Stacy for Nate." Mike Collins, a good
friend, said.

"Oh shut up guys. I gotta look good for picture day, don't I?" I responded
as I sat down.

"Oh, they're just teasing. That shirt makes your eyes look beautiful, by
the way." I blushed as Stacy Bradshaw, Mike's girlfriend, said after
hitting him for his comment.

"Thanks Stace." I replied.

"Well, must be hottie day or something." Kelly Rollings said looking over
my shoulder.

"Damnit boy, what the hell are you two doing? Trying to steal our girls?"
Matt Thompson, another good friend ,said to me.

"Huh?" I replied as I looked over my shoulder. I realized Talan had walked
in and was making his way to table.

"Y'all look gorgeous today. Just like everyday, except today y'alls' eyes
look spectacular." Brenda Thompson, Matt's twin sister, said to both Talan
and me as he sat down.

"Thanks," we replied in unison. I then looked at Talan, "Get your shit
done?"

"Yeah, Miss H. needed me to do some stuff for her this morning. Nothing
major."

"Cool."

*

We sat there and talked until the bell rang. I'm not really sure how, but
all of us managed to get lockers right next to each other, so we continued
to talk on our way through the halls to our lockers. When I opened mine to
get out my calculus book for first block, a note fell out.

"Oh, what's that? A love letter?" Brad cooed as he picked the note up from
the floor. He started reading it aloud.

I long to see your face, To never be alone in any place.  To be yours and
call you mine, Would be the greatest gift of all time.  I want to know you,
Body and soul.  The sight of you makes me lose control.  The love I feel
cannot be bound, Through these letters I shall be found.  I will write you
again, And then once more.  Upon which we will meet, And our love will
soar.

Your Secret Admirer

"Oh my god! That was beautiful!" Brenda said.

"Dude, someone has it bad for you!" Mike added.

"Apparently. I wonder who it is?" I replied.

"Who knows, but whoever it is, they want you real bad, and sound pretty
confident that they will get you." Talan stated.

"Yeah, I know." I answered. "This pretty much made my day. Who wants to
skip? I'm too happy to be brought down by first block Calc."

Everyone hit me, "Don't go getting a big head. Let's get to class." Brad
said.

"Okay, okay. Let's go." We all headed towards class. I couldn't help but
trail a little behind the others. My mind was racing. I had no idea who
wrote this, but it touched my heart. I just hoped it was a guy, because
while the words were beautiful, they weren't life changing. It was going to
take more than a few words to make me swing for the home team.

Who could it be? Who could be my secret admirer? I had no idea, but I did
know one thing, I wasn't going to be doing much Calculus. I had way to many
other things going on in my head.