Date: Fri, 11 Jun 2010 00:29:48 -0400 (EDT)
From: jacobmillertex@aol.com
Subject: Shadow Of My Father: Chapter 13

{The Shadow of My Father is pure fiction. As I am writing this story, I am
above the age of 21. Any similarity to any other events, names, or life
events is pure accidental. If you are under age, (according to your state
laws as a minor), if this literature is offensive to you or to anyone
around your viewing area, or it is illegal for you to view such content
where you are reading it, stop reading the story.  This story can't be
distributed in any way, shape or form without my expressed consent.

Authoring a good and engaging story is only half the job. The other half is
having an editor that will take the artistic work and make it read smoothly
and easily. I have such a guy doing that for me and he deserves a ton of
thanks from me (and you) for what you read, both in this story and my
previous (and ongoing) story "Josh, Finding His Way".  If you have comments
or want to speak to "Daddy" Rick, please feel free to do so. He's an
engaging character and has a lot of input to the final product you read. He
reads all the comments you send in by e-mail. Most times you will see his
remarks in the Editor's Corner at the end of a chapter.}

Written by J.P.G.

		Chapter 13

(JOSH'S POINT OF VIEW)

Soon after we finished dinner, my dad called me into the study to talk. He
saw there were things bothering me. I told him all about what Elizabeth did
in the morning. As well as what Chris told me about his father.

My dad actually gave me sound advice on what to do in order to get through
each issue. I really do plan to take his advice on Elizabeth. Leopards
don't change their spots so Elizabeth has a motive behind what she is
doing. I will be vigilant and protect myself and my friends as best I can.

Now with Chris, well let's say I have two angles I am working from. Two is
better than one. I am not saying I believe that Joey can't deliver; I just
want a back up just in case. I also know my dad may not be able to do
anything himself. He is a military man, he has no say in the local laws and
how they are administered.

It seems whenever I'm seeing light at the end of a tunnel, another road
block gets thrown in for the fun of it. My dad started talking about how
dirty it can get running for political office. He doesn't intend to get
into the mud with the rest, but he knows they are going to. He fears for me
and he doesn't want to see me get hurt.

I have never seen this side of my father. In the last couple of months I
have been seeing another side of my father I never realized is there. He
really does care for his family. He wants to be there for us and what we
are going through. Just his words started making me cry.

I then saw a look in his face that scared me to death. He is about to ask
me THE question I am not ready to answer yet. I am not really ready to talk
about this with anyone, more specifically, my father. Still he looks like a
man with a mission.

As he talked, I started to shake really bad. The tears started rolling down
my face at a steady stream. I figure the hurt I must be showing and caught
my father's attention. He actually started tearing up as well.

"Josh no matter what you tell me here, you need to understand this one
thing. Nothing, I mean NOTHING will ever change with us. I will love you
not matter how you answer this question. I love you so much Josh, I just
want to protect you from all the hurt and anger out there in this world."

I mustered enough strength to look in my father's eyes. Somehow I got
control of the tears and the shaking. I am waiting for the entire world to
fall on me. The dreaded question I have known one day would be asked and I
would have to answer!

"Josh I don't want to push you in anyway. I am told it isn't good to do
that, but I am about to enter into an arena where others won't care about
the hurt they will cause. I need to be prepared to protect you. Forget
me. I can take anything they throw at me. I just want to protect you, Josh.

Please Josh answer me this question: Are you gay?"

There it was. There was no hiding. In dead silence I just looked straight
at my father. He looked back with loving and caring eyes; not eyes of anger
or disgust, just pure love. Somehow in this very moment, I know he isn't
one I need to hide from. I need to have him in my corner if I am to ever
get through this immediate time and life overall.

I cleared my throat as I looked down at my lap. I mumbled the answer to my
dad. He didn't hear me and asked me to face him and answer the question
once again.

"I am sorry dad for being such disappoint to you and mom. I know I am going
to hurt you as you run for the Governorship of Texas. I really have tried
to fight it; I tried so hard not be this way dad. I am losing the fight so
badly. Yes, dad, I am gay!"

"Josh it isn't a fight you will ever win. You are not a big disappoint to
me or your mother. Trust me when I say this Josh, just let go of this
misplaced shame you feel. You need to understand you didn't choose to be
gay, it just happens. I will support you as you get through this."

Just then my dad leaned in and hugged me. With the hug made me feel as if
all the worries of the world are melting away. I love my dad now more than
ever. He is going to be my back bone as I make my way through this.

"Josh you will never lose me anything I choose to do in life. Either the
people like me or they don't. If they judge me to be a lesser person
because I have a great son like you, well, just fuck them then. They will
lose out on a good governor for this State. I know I am not perfect nor is
anyone else on this earth."

I looked back into my dad's face as he spoke. The same care and love I saw
in his eyes moments ago, before my revelation, I still see in his eyes. I
don't disgust him in anyway. It is like a big weight has been lifted off my
shoulders after this talk.

"Josh, leave it to me to tell your mother. I know how to handle her when it
comes to this kind of news. One day you are going to need to tell me what
this thing you have with Bernice is. I know it isn't a boyfriend,
girlfriend relationship. But we will save that for another day. Right now I
need to talk with your mother," my dad said in conclusion.

"Dad, she isn't going to take this well at all. I know she is going to be
mad and disgusted with me. When you leave, she is going to take her disgust
out on me."

"I will make it clear if I ever find out that she mistreats you in anyway
whenever I am not around, damn the political career; I will leave her so
fast, it will make her head spin. And don't worry; I will take you kids
with me. I won't put up with unfair treatment of any of you kids.

Don't worry about anything. I will take care of everything. I won't tell
your brothers. That is up to you to tell them when you feel ready. Now stay
in here and collect yourself before you leave the study. I love you very
much Josh!"

With that my dad got up and walked out of the study. I couldn't believe how
well my father took the news. I really thought he, of all people, would be
the one treating me lower then scum. But I know now it isn't going to be my
father, it will be my mom.

(DANIEL SR's POINT OF VIEW)

As I walked out of the study I looked back at my son. I now know I am going
to have to keep an extra eye out for him. His life is going to rough to say
the least. He isn't making it any easier since he blames himself for what
has he is that he has no control over. He needs to learn it isn't his fault
and there are people here to support him.

Now with the knowledge I have I need to meet this young man Chris. I know
they are going out. I need them to know they don't need to hide their
relationship from me. I also need to set some time aside to talk with
Bernice. She is a wonderful girl, but she no longer needs to cover for my
boy.

As I walked into the room I found Martha just standing there. I know this
isn't going to be a very good talk we are about to have. I still don't know
how I am going to tell her without her getting all up in arms about
it. Before I could even finish shutting the door, she started in.

"So what was the reason you needed to speak with Josh alone about? You have
told me to treat the boys equal, but here you are talking privately with
Josh."

"First Martha you don't question my motives when it comes to dealing with
any of our sons. For the last several months you have been running around
treating the kids differently from each other. I told you that will
end. For some reason I feel you haven't gotten the point by that by the
comment you just made."

Martha just looked at me, not saying a word. I knew I touched a
nerve. Still she isn't going to speak out that I did hit a nerve.

"Whenever I see something bothering any of our kids, I will take them aside
and speak with them one on one. That is the only way I can ensure they will
open up. If we try to talk with them in front of the others, they will clam
up. That goes for any of our boys.

Now take a seat on the bed and we need to talk about something. I don't
want you saying a word until I am done. Even then when you speak you will
keep your voice down where the boys don't hear you."

Martha walked to the bed nodding her head up and down. She still doesn't
like the way I am talking with right now. I really don't mean to be acting
like an ass. If I don't act like an ass, she will take control of this
issue. When that happens, I will never get it back under control.

"Now Martha I saw there was something bothering our son. I was right there
was. He told me that Elizabeth..."

I told her everything that Josh told me about what Elizabeth is
doing. Martha gave me her thoughts on the issue. She believed that Josh
should give Elizabeth another chance at least to be friends. I told Martha
the same thing I told Josh. She didn't seem too happy about it, but let it
go.

Then I told her about Chris and his father. Once again she stopped me and
told me her feelings about that as well. No surprise to me she believes
that Chris should go back with his father and they should move away from
here. And once again I told her what I told Josh and the promise I gave
him. Martha wasn't happy with that at all.

"Whatever clout you may have, you shouldn't waste it on that kid. He is a
sin being on this earth. He doesn't deserve any help from anyone, more less
you and this family."

"You listen to me Martha I won't have that talk in this house. We are not
raising our boys to hate the world. They will know everything, but they
have the freedom to make their own decisions. They won't be filled with any
kinds of hate that our parents filled us with. That is one of the reasons I
am not so into the church scene."

Martha just looked at me as if I just killed someone. Josh is right about
one thing. She is going to give him hell about being who he is. I still
believe she needs to know about Josh. With me telling her I can have more
of a chance controlling the issue.

"Now I am going to talk with you about the main topic of Josh's and my
discussion. You will keep an open mind to it. You will not to speak a word
until I am done telling you about this."

Once again she just nodded her head. I need to speak without any breaks as
I tell her or she will put her two cents into it before I finish.

"I knew there was something Josh wasn't telling us. I have known now for
over a year. I just wanted to give him a chance to tell us but you and I
weren't making it easy for him. We share the guilt for this with me being
so gung ho about the military and you being so unreachable through your
hate at anything that doesn't meet your standards.

Well I got Josh to open up and tell me what he is hiding. I promised him
that he isn't going to be treated any differently than any of the other
boys. We are going to love him the same no matter what. You will follow
that and put your hatred aside.

We do have a gay son..."

"No we don't have a gay son Daniel! I won't hear those words being spoken
in my house. Either that kid is going to change and realize he is wrong or
he will leave this house with just the clothes on his back. I won't have a
gay son!"

"Martha you listen to me and listen good. If you ever talk to our son that
way I will take them from you and divorce so fast you won't even know what
has happened. You will never again talk this way in front or behind our
son's back. DO I MAKE MY SELF CLEAR ON THE SUBJECT?"

Martha just looked at me with fire in her eyes. She thinks she can will our
son from being gay just thinking and wanting it. I can see she is going to
be a problem for him in the near future. With me gone, she can do whatever
she wants.

"Martha you will answer me or we can call this marriage over now."

"Daniel I can't have a gay..."

"That isn't the answer I am looking for Martha. You can and you do have a
gay son, like it or not, that is the fact of life. He can't choose being
who he is. It just happens and I won't allow you to mistreat our son for
something he can't help. Now are you clear about what I am saying Martha?"

"Yes Daniel there isn't any need to threaten divorce over this. Just give
me time and I will get used to it. I promise Daniel I will go by whatever
you want."

"In the mean time you won't change towards Josh. You will treat him as you
do Daniel, Carlos and Brandon. No different in anyway. Is that understood?"

"I said I understand what you want from me. I will follow through your
request of being the same to all of our kids."

"Good now I need to leave for a day. I will be back Wednesday morning..."

I explained to her what got decided in today's meeting. I already got
permission to make my announcement at the kid's high school. It is the
right place because I believe that we need to fix the problems for our
kids' futures.

I need to head to Austin to file some paperwork with the Republican Party
and the State Elections Commission. I wasn't happy I had to leave in order
to do that. I should be able to it all from here. Wednesday morning I will
file my paperwork to run here from my district office.

As I got ready for bed I couldn't help but think I might have made the
wrong decision telling Martha about Josh. I should have waited until I got
back. That way I can make sure things settle before I head out again. I
really hope everything is going to be ok.

(JOSHUA'S POINT OF VIEW)

The next morning I ran out of the house faster than the speed of sound. I
know my dad told my mom about me last night. I heard her yelling through
the walls. I hope Daniel and Carlos didn't hear downstairs as she
yelled. If they did, I won't have one peaceful moment in the house when my
dad is gone!

When I got to school I went straight to the cafeteria to join Bernice and
the guys. I wasn't really paying any attention to what they are talking
about. I went into my little world wondering if I made the right choice
telling my dad what I told him last night.

I could have kept playing it off even with my dad going into politics. I
still have not gotten really that serious with Chris. I could have broken
things off with him and tried to make it work once again with Elizabeth! I
know I might have lost some friends in the short run, but they would have
come back after awhile.

I need to stop thinking `what if this' or `what if that'. It is over! I
already told my dad. He has already told my mother. Eventually I am going
to have to tell my brothers before it slips out. The only good thing that
will come from this is I don't have to hide myself anymore. Chris can now
come over whenever we want to hang.

I got brought out of thought when Eric hit me with his elbow. I looked over
at him with a pissed off look on my face.

"What the hell is that for Eric?"

"You are not paying attention to anything we are saying. I asked you a
question you look like you are on another planet. I thought you had fallen
asleep or something."

"Well I have not fallen to sleep. I am just thinking that is all. You
didn't have to hit me with your elbow like that."

I got up and walked off. What a fucking asshole for doing that. All he
needed to do is tap me on my shoulder or something like that. Not hit me
with his elbow. I walked out into the hallway heading towards the locker
area when Bernice caught up with me.

"What is going on with you Josh?"

I couldn't look at her if my life depended on it. I didn't want Bernice to
see me the way I am. I am, falling apart with worries about what my mom is
going to do once I see her for the first time of her knowing about me.

"Josh look at me please; come on look at me!"

I looked at Bernice with tears rolling down my face. She grabbed hold of me
and started hugging me. I wrapped my arms around her not wanting to let
go. I didn't want this moment to end at all. A few minute past and Bernice
broke the silence.

"Now tell me what in the world got you all up tight and worried. I know it
can't be what Eric did at the table. He just got the dirty end of a stick
that he didn't deserve."

"No he didn't deserve what I did to him in front of the others. I just
couldn't think straight when he hit me. I know he didn't do it on
purpose. I just took my anger out on him when he didn't deserve it."

Bernice and I walked outside to talk. Once we felt comfortable that no one
can hear what we are talking about, I started telling her everything on
what happened the night before not leaving out the most miniscule detail.

I started with the talk about Elizabeth and the advice my father gave
me. Then I told her what my dad promised to do to help out Chris. Then I
gave her the part that is bothering me the most. I kept that to the very
end.

"Well Josh, I don't know where to start. Your father is right on one thing
and is when he runs they will pull everything out and use it. It is dirty,
but that is the only way politicians know how to run for office when they
can't win on the issues.

I think it is good that you told your father everything. That way you have
one less burden to worry about. If your mother treats you wrong, just come
over to my house. My dad won't ask questions. In fact he keeps asking me to
bring you around a lot more then I have. He feels I have been spending too
much time at your house."

"That sounds good to me. But for now I need to see how she is going to
be. Right now my dad is here and I feel protected with him here. When he's
gone could be the problem. Hopefully by then she will get whatever dislike
out of her system."

Both of us laughed when I finished the sentence. We know my mom will never
get over that hate. Somehow Bernice, like always, found a way to get me in
a good mood. We joined the group in our normal spot.

Eric just looked at me and started talking as if nothing had happened. I
will need to take some time out today and explain to him what is going
on. For now I am going to enjoy being with my friends.

The day flew by pretty quickly. Even swim practice seemed to be easier
today than normal. It seems whenever I want the day to drag on, it
doesn't. And when I want the day to go faster, it drags on. I figure that
is life.

Every so often Bernice has to go home right after school. Today is one of
those days that she had to go straight home, so I walked home alone with my
thoughts. As I walked up to the house and saw my dad's truck not here, I
got worried. That means I am going to have to spend some time alone with my
mom.

I walked in really quickly and ran upstairs. I hope I can spend all the
time that my dad isn't here in my room. When dinner is called, my dad will
be home. I did all my homework in no time at all. That's when I decided to
get ahead in my reading for English. We have to read Romeo and Juliet. I
really hate the wording in this book.

I kept looking at my alarm clock. Dinner must be late because my dad is
running late from school. When I looked at the clock again, I couldn't
believe the time. It is already after seven and my mom hasn't called for
dinner yet.

I waited till seven thirty when I decided to see what is going on. I laid
down my book and headed down to the kitchen. I saw Daniel and Carlos
watching television. There was no sign of Brandon anywhere. When I walked
in the kitchen, my mom is already putting away the dishes. I looked at her
and spoke first, "Mom isn't there going to be any dinner?"

My mom didn't even flinch a muscle when I spoke. She wouldn't even look at
me as she finished up in the kitchen. I asked again to see why there isn't
any dinner. That is when she looked at me with disgust and anger in her
eyes.

"We already had dinner, Josh."

"Why didn't you call for me to eat, mom?"

"You don't deserve to eat with us. You don't deserve to be in this house
with us. I won't have you at the same table with your brothers. You are no
longer my son. You are no longer part of this family."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My fears have come true with the way
my mother is reacting. Where in the world is my dad? I thought he would be
here by now.

"If you want to eat, you will eat off the floor like the dogs do. You are
lower then a dog. You shouldn't even get the right to eat off the floor."

I decided to walk back to my room. There is no way I am going to eat off
the floor like a dog. I won't win an argument with her right now.

"Don't you walk away from me when I am talking to you! You are asking to
eat then eat."

I heard plated being slammed on the counter as I turned back around to face
her. She is actually throwing the food off the plates onto the corner of
the floor. I couldn't believe she actually thinks I am going to eat off the
floor of the kitchen. I tried again to walk away, but my mom yelled at me.

"I want you to come over here and eat your dinner. You will eat on the
floor with the rest of the trash. That is where you belong."

"But mom please I don't want..."

"You don't talk back to me ever. Whenever you talk to me you will just nod
your head. I don't want to hear a word come out of that mouth of sin. No
man should be with another man. I thought I brought you up knowing
that. Until you learn and change your ways, you will be treated lesser then
a dog. Now get down on your knees and eat every bit of that food I threw
down there. When you are done, I want to see a clean floor."

I walked over to the corner where she threw the food on the ground. I
kneeled down until I got completely on all fours. My mom didn't move an
inch. I took some of the food on top and put in my mouth. I hoped maybe if
I eat some of it, she will let me leave.

"You will eat everything I have served you. I don't want to see nothing
left over."

I kept eating the food with tears rolling down my face. I actually started
gagging on some of it. But I knew if I actually threw up any of it, my mom
would make me eat up my throw up as well.

Somehow I actually got all the food down that was on the floor! While I
ate, Daniel and Carlos walked in several times. They didn't say a word,
they just laughed at me. Still I haven't seen Brandon anywhere.

I got back up after I finished wiping off my jeans. Still with tears
rolling down my face I walked past my mom. She spoke up for the first time
since I started eating.

"From now on you won't be called down for dinner with the family. You will
come down here after I finish cleaning up and gone from the kitchen. I will
have your food in the same spot. I better not catch you throwing any of it
away. You will eat it and then go back to your room.

Your dinner time for now on will be at nine. That way you won't infect your
brothers. You will not take showers in this house. I don't care where you
take a shower, but not here. You will also wash you own clothes, but not
here. I again don't want you infecting your brothers.

You will stay away from Brandon at all times. I already told Daniel and
Carlos the rules and why I have placed them. They don't want any dealings
with you either. Until you see the wrong you are doing and change. You
won't be part of this family."

I started to walk out of the kitchen after she stopped speaking. I heard
her say one more thing before I made it around the corner into the hall.

"If you breathe a word of this to your father, it will get worse. Trust me
I can make it a lot worse on you. Your father is going to be gone more then
he is going to be here. That means I will be running this house, not him!"

I just nodded my head up and down and walked away. I ran upstairs as fast
as I could. I wanted to get to my room so fast I didn't care about anything
else. As soon as I walked in I closed my door.

Somehow I made it to my bed without breaking completely down! I sat down
and just started crying. I knew I started to get loud, so I covered my face
with my pillow. I got myself so upset, I actually started throwing up. I
made it to my trash can emptying out my stomach.

Once there wasn't anything left to throw up. I went back to my bed and lay
down. Sobbing as I looked into the air asking the same question over and
over again. Why am I like this, what did I do so wrong to be like this?

(BRANDON'S POINT OF VIEW)

As soon as I got home from school, my mom called me into the living
room. When I walked in, I found Daniel and Carlos seated on the couch. I
walked over to the chair and sat down. It didn't take long for my mom to
get to the point of this meeting.  I figured out why she is having this
meeting without Josh here. It is about Josh.

She explained to us what our father told her last night. I looked over to
Daniel and Carlos to see what they reaction is. They looked disgusted with
what my mother is saying. It is as if Josh and I are from another
family. How in the world can two siblings be so different from the other
two?

She laid down some new rules that we have to follow whenever my father
isn't here. When my dad is here, we are to go back and follow the same
rules that are in affect right now. I started to wonder how my mom thinks
she is going to get away with this.

She excused us and I headed upstairs to my room. I heard a knock on my door
about six. It opened and Daniel popped his head in.

"Brandon, it is time for dinner. Come on down and don't let Josh know."

I followed Daniel to the kitchen. We all sat down and started eating. No
one said a word during dinner. As soon as I finished I got up and placed my
plate in the sink and headed back to my room.

Where in the world is Josh? Why didn't he come down when dinner was ready?
We all know dinner is at the same time every night. I was waiting for him
to pop in and force my mom to let him eat with us.

I started to get worried about Josh. I got up and walked to his room. I
found his door open, but he wasn't in there. I walked downstairs to see if
he is watching television or something. I didn't find anyone in the den or
living room. That is when I heard snickering coming from the door way of
the kitchen.

I walked over and found Daniel and Carlos laughing at something. I squeezed
between Daniel and Carlos to see what they are laughing at. What I saw
then, I couldn't believe me eyes. If someone would have told me this
happened, I would call them a liar.

Josh is on his knees eating god knows what. It isn't what we had for
dinner. We had porch chops and the fixings to that meal. Whatever Josh is
eating looks like a mixture of left over food. My mom just sitting there in
a chair looking at Josh as he ate!

I got so mad as I walked away I punched Daniel and Carlos in the back. They
looked at me with a dirty look. But at least I got them to stop laughing
and walk away from watching Josh being treated like that.

Not soon after I got back in my room, I heard Josh's door close. Then I
heard him crying really loud. I couldn't hold it in, I started to cry. On
the other side of the wall is my bother crying and hurting. I can't do
anything about it.

Then it got quiet for a few seconds before I heard this loud sound. At
first I couldn't make out what is going on, and then I knew. Josh is
actually throwing up. It took him a while to stop throwing up. When He did,
I heard him crying again. He started asking something, I couldn't make it
out through the wall.  ` I waited for my mom to check on me to make sure I
am in my room asleep. When she did, I knew she wasn't coming back again. I
got up and put in several pillows in my bed to make anyone that might walk
in think I am still in bed. I needed to see my brother and let him know I'm
here for him.

I crawled out my window onto the window ledge. Between my room and my
brothers is a roof big enough to walk from one window to the next. I walked
over to Josh's window. I found it unlocked and crawled in.

Once I was in I walked over to Josh's bed. With the light shinning from the
street I could see that Josh didn't even change out of his clothes. He
actually cried himself to sleep. I walked up to him and kneeled down.

I gently shook him until he turned over to face me. He still had tears
rolling down his face. I crawled into bed with him and just hugged him. I
wanted him to know there is still someone in this house that cares for
him. I held onto him as tight as I could. He just kept crying into my chest
as I held him.

"Josh I love you big brother. We will get through this I promise you that."

I kept saying over and over again as I held my big brother. I have never
seen anyone treated this way in my life. No one deserves to be treated like
this. I held onto Josh until he stopped crying and I heard him snoring.

I gently crawled out of the bed and looked down at Josh. I started thinking
that it has to be uncomfortable sleeping with clothes on. I took off his
shoes and pulled the covers over him. Right there and then I promised Josh
and myself in the dark of the room. I will do everything in my power to fix
this. I will expose my mom for what she is doing.

(JOSHUA'S POINT OF VIEW)

The next morning I woke up earlier then normal in order to avoid Daniel,
Carlos, and my mom. I didn't want to see their faces or even talk with
them. I know they won't talk with me anyway, so the feeling is now mutual.

When I arrived at school I hid under a stair case on third floor at the end
of the hall. No one ever comes up here until the bell rings. I couldn't
face my friends on what had happened to me last night. I know they don't
know, but leave it to Daniel and Carlos they will make it their mission in
life to tell everyone before the first bell.

All I could is sit here thinking about what had happened last night. My dad
is going to be gone for awhile. That means I have to put up with the way my
mother plans to treat me. I just don't know if I can handle it with weeks
in and weeks out of her treating me less than a dog! Making me eat off the
ground! I just don't know if I can do this.

I can't run away. That would be a perfect solution to this problem. My mom
and older brothers don't want me around. So with me gone that will make
them happy. Just not my dad though. In fact it will hurt him as he runs for
Governor. I can't take that from my dad. He worked too hard to get where he
is today.

For now, I will have to deal with my mother and older brothers. I will just
stay away from the house more and more. Do things here at school that will
take my evenings away including my homework and anything else I can do in
order to stay away from the house.

The first bell rang alerting us to get to class. I ran into the bathroom to
clean up my face before heading to first period. Just as I walked in the
final bell rang. I tried to get to my desk as fast as I could.

It felt like everyone is looking at me. I know it is just in my mind, but
it feels like that. As I took my seat Eric kept punching me in the arm. I
couldn't look at him, I just couldn't. For the first time I was glad to
hear the teacher start talking in homeroom. What he had to say explained
why everyone is looking at me.

 My father got permission to talk here at our school this evening. Anyone
that shows up will get extra credit. It is being offered in all homeroom
classes. Several of the students started asking the teacher what was the
reason a general wanted to speak at the school. But Mr. Shredder wouldn't
give my classmates any kind of hint why my father wanted to speak here at
the school this evening.

I tried for most of the day to ditch Eric and the others. At this point I
am working on the basis that my brothers already told them about me. As of
yesterday only Bernice and Eric knew about me. Today who knows with my
brothers out there with the information?

The minute the bell rang excusing us for lunch. I ran out of science class
as if the place is on fire. I didn't even bother going to my
locker. Instead I headed straight to the lunch room before the others could
get there.

Because I went straight from class to the cafeteria I didn't have to wait
in line. As soon as I got my food I got out of the lunch room as quickly as
possible. I went up the same spot I was at this morning. No one will find
me here and that includes Bernice.

(ERIC'S POINT OF VIEW)

Just as the bell rang for lunch, Josh got out of his seat so fast I
couldn't catch him. I ran into everyone else trying to get out the door for
lunch. I hoped to find Josh at the lockers, but I didn't find him.

I knew since breakfast there is something really wrong with Josh. What it
is I don't know. Whatever it is he feels he needs to stay away from me and
the rest of the group. I wish Josh wouldn't close himself off like
this. Just let us help him through whatever is going on. That is what
friends are for.

Once again I hoped to find Josh at the table. But once again I got
disappointed.  As I walked up to the table everyone looked up at
me. Bernice spoke up first.

"Eric where is Josh at?"

"I don't know Bernice. I had hoped to find him here. He ran out of class so
fast I couldn't stay up with him."

"Do you know what is going on with him today?"

Just when I was about to answer Bernice, Josh's brother's walked up to the
table. They had big grins on their faces. That confirmed to me something
for sure is going on in Josh's house. His brothers never come around.

"Where is Joshie boy at right now?" Carlos asked with a snide tone to his
voice.

We just looked at Carlos as he laughed with Daniel. I can't stand them when
they think they have something to hold over Josh. They hold onto it like a
dog with a bone.

"None of us know where he is at. If you need to talk with him, why don't
you wait until he gets home?"

"You guys are telling us that you don't know about Josh? You Eric, of all
people, should know about Josh's little secret!"

"Fucking Carlos whatever you think you have over Josh, just fuck the hell
off. We don't want to hear it from you. We won't believe anything you have
to say about Josh. So don't waste your breath and leave."

The whole time as they stood there, Daniel and Carlos just laughed. Their
laugh is getting me angrier then whatever they have to say about
Josh. Either they should just come out and say it or just leave, but
whatever they do they better do it fast.

"Come on this has to be some kind of joke that you guys don't know about
Josh. You eat with him, talk with him, and share each others secrets. You
guys should know what we just found out last night about Josh."

Bernice jumped out of her seat and walked up to Josh's brother's. I think
she figured out what they have over Josh right now. That means it could
only be one thing, and that is him being gay.

I got up as well and joined Bernice in front of Daniel and Carlos. I looked
into their eyes staring them down. All that did is reinforce their evil
plot on telling everyone Josh's secret. I know they are asses, but I never
thought they would stoop this low.

"So you two for sure know about little Josh's secret. What about your
friends. Why don't we just inform them about what you guys are hiding from
them?"

"It isn't your place to breathe a word about him to others! When Josh is
ready to talk, he will do so. So just leave us alone."

"The info we have is too good to just leave alone. Josh doesn't deserve to
have friends. So let me just say my peace and we will be going."

Daniel and Carlos walked around me and sat down at the table. Everyone at
the table just looked at them. It looks like they have as much dislike as I
do when it comes to them. To top it off none of these guys know Josh's
brothers. That says a lot when people don't know you, but they dislike you
no matter what.

Benjamin looked over at Carlos and didn't even allow him to speak.

"Trust me when I say this to you two. Whatever you have to say we already
know. Josh may not have said it in words but we already know. No matter
whom he loves or who he decides to hang with we will always be his
friends. So whatever you have to say you better think twice about
saying. It isn't a surprise and we don't care to hear."

Carlos jaw just dropped to the table when Benjamin spoke. Even myself I had
to pick up my jaw from the table. I didn't know they even had any
indication about Josh. He hides it very well. It just surprises me they
know and didn't say a word about it.

Carlos and Daniel got up and walked off. They knew they got beat at an evil
game they wanted to play. The worst they can do is spread it around the
school. I wouldn't put it past them to do so. You could see their mom in
them, with her evil.

"How long have you all known about Josh?"

"I have known almost as soon as I met him Bernice. I don't care about it. I
figured he would tell us when he is ready. Until then I am comfortable just
sitting here being his friend. That will stay the same when he does open
up."

Benjamin surprised me once again. Everyone at the table just nodded their
heads to what Benjamin said the feelings behind his statement. That means
they pretty much know as well that Josh is gay and they don't care.

"I laugh at Elizabeth every time she try's to get Josh back and her not
knowing the real reason why he dumped her in the first place. Besides being
a flat out no good bitch, he isn't interested in her that way. He found his
true love already."

Patrick looked over at Chris after saying that. Chris turned red in the
face. The guys know about him and Chris and don't care. At least they
didn't take the way I took when I found out. That would suck having the
entire table walking around here refusing to talk with Josh and Chris.

"Look you guys we need to find out exactly what is going on here. If Josh's
brothers know, that means his mother knows. If she knows about Josh, he is
living in a house of hell. She won't allow Josh to be that way."

"I agree with Eric here. Yesterday Josh told me he told his father that he
is gay. His father needed to know in order to protect him."

"Protect him from whom, Bernice?"

"He has been offered to run on the Republican ticket for the Governorship
of Texas, Patrick."

"No fucking way! That is why he wants to come down here tonight. He is
going to announce his attention to run for the Governorship. That is way
too cool to be friends with the son of the next Governor of Texas!"

"You are getting way to ahead of yourself Patrick. He still has to run and
win it. Anyways, as I was saying, Josh's dad wanted to know so he can
protect him from those that want to hurt him. They will try to hurt him
through his family. Josh said something about his dad going to meet with
the now sitting governor and make a deal to leave families out of any
debate."

"That is funny because the sitting governor is well known for getting down
and dirty in his elections. He won four years ago because of his ability to
get down and dirty. I don't think talking with him will get him to change
his ways. He wants a second term."

"Well Frank you may be right there, but I don't care about that right
now. What Bernice and I are saying is we need to find Josh and tell him
that we are cool about everything. He has nothing to worry about."

Everyone agreed with what I just said. We hurried up and ate where we could
go out looking for Josh. I know him really good, and one thing I know
really well about him is simple: When he doesn't want to be found, we won't
find him.

(JOSHUA'S POINT OF VIEW)

I ate my lunch under the stairs not moving at all. I decided before the
bell rang I needed to get my books from my locker. That way I won't run
into Eric, Bernice or the guys. I just can't face them right now knowing
they have to know by now.

Right when I walked into Fourth period Glee class, Mr. Edger stopped me at
the door. It looks like the guy is going to have a heart attack.

"Josh it is good to see you. We have our work cut out for us here
today. Your father has asked our Glee club to sing in front of the audience
tonight. You may not know what this means for this club to be able to sing
on this kind of stage. But it is big! No, HUGE!"

"Ok Mr. Edger, are we going to sing the same songs we have already learned
in the last two performances?"

"Sit down I will explain it to the entire class all at once."

Once the bell rang Mr. Edger took roll call fast. As soon as he finished
with the paper work, he started explaining everything to the class. He
started be telling us that we are going to miss the rest of our afternoon
classes. The entire class cheered once he finished saying that.

"Don't get all excited yet class! We have our work cut out for us here
today. We are going to learn four new songs for tonight. I hope you are
ready for a very long afternoon!"

Everyone looked each other. This is going to be hell on wheels. To learn
one song in a day is hard, but four? What in the hell does Mr. Edger think
we are, super Glee Club or what. This is a disaster in the making!"

"Ok this is how it is going to happen tonight. We are going to sing three
songs before General Lopez is introduced and one song as he leaves the
stage. Here are the songs and we are going to play them in this order.

The first song is going to be "Let It Be by the Beatles". It is going to be
a group song here. The second is another group song which is "Don't Stop
Believing" by Journey. The third is going to be Josh's individual song
which is going to be "Imagine" by Jon Lennon. Then as General Lopez leaves
the stage will be our final song, group of course. It is "Fame", sang by so
many different bands.

Now we have our work cut out for us. More so you, Josh because the group
songs are group, but there are going to be parts that will need you to sing
alone. Not much, but some. So get ready to rumble as they say!"

Mr. Edger handed out the sheet music and we started to work. By fifth
period we actually had the first group song down. We were able to move on
to the second group song. I don't know how I am going to be able to keep
all the lyrics in my head straight. It is going to be hard as hell!

By the end of sixth period, we actually had all the group songs
down. Mr. Edger excused the class to go home and get ready and come back in
a couple of hours. They needed to be back by five so we can rehearse on the
field. We need to be ready by seven because that is when we are going on.

Mr. Edger got permission for me to stay until the performance. He worked
with me on my individual performance. We actually worked all the way till
five when the others showed up. The problem with this song is I have to
learn the piano as well.

Mr. Edger let me out of rehearsal when Mrs. Nunez showed up with something
for me to eat. I joined her in her classroom in order to eat. She actually
bought me a meal from McDonald's. I couldn't believe she actually did that
for me.

As I ate, Mrs. Nunez left to see how the rehearsal is going. I didn't even
hear my father walk in until he tapped me on my shoulder.

"Josh how are you doing son?"

I got up and wrapped my arms around him. I was so glad to see him. He
wrapped his arms around me, returning the hug.

"I brought your clothes for tonight's performance. I can't tell you how
proud and honored I am that you and the Glee Club are going to sing
tonight. I want to ask you to do something for me Josh."

I looked up at him with tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Will you introduce me tonight?"

I couldn't believe he is actually asking me to introduce him. There has to
be others better suited to do that for him. But I am not going to say `no'
to my dad.

"With all my heart I will introduce you tonight dad!"

"Thanks son!"

We hugged a few more moments before he got pulled away. I finished eating,
changed and headed back to Mr. Edger's class. I told Mr. Edger what my dad
asked me to do for him.

"Josh you are the right person for the job. Who else could be better then
his own son? You finish your solo and then introduce your father. Not even
hearing him speak yet, he has my vote."

I smiled at Mr. Edger as we made our way to the football field. While we
were in class, our field got transformed. Right in the middle of the field
is a stage; a pretty big stage for the Flee Club to perform on.

For the next hour we rehearsed the songs in order as we will sing them
later on in the evening. As soon as we noticed the crowd coming in, we left
the stage. Camera crews started setting up in front of the stage from all
the channels. This is going to be some night to say the least.

After taking a break, we headed to our seats about fifteen minutes before
seven. I didn't sit with the Glee Club, because the family sat together. I
got directed to sit with my family. As I took my seat between Brandon and
Carlos, I got dirty looks form my older brothers and mom. I really don't
care right now. I am going to enjoy tonight with my father.

Several political speakers, local and state wide, spoke first. Then we got
introduced. I left my seat and joined the Glee Club on Stage. The stadium
lights dimmed down, and we started with "Let It Be". By the middle of the
song the entire audience started singing along.

A short break, maybe a minute or so, we went into our next song, "Don't
Stop Believing". As with the song before, the audience started singing
along with us. Then the lights went off as I made my way to the piano on
the stage.

A single spot light got turned on, which is shinning on me. I started
playing the piano and went right into my solo, "Imagine". Through the
entire song, the audiences just sat in their seats listening to me sing. It
was just me and the piano alone on the stage. This is the first time I have
done something like this. Normally I would have the band join in.

The minute I finished my solo, the audience started to stand up applauding
my performance. I didn't skip a beat or forget a lyric. I actually got
through all the three songs without screwing up. I couldn't be happier!

I got up from the piano and walked to the middle of the stage. Mr. Edger
handed me a microphone as I made my way. My palms started to sweat as I
cleared my throat.

"Hello my name is Joshua Lopez, the third oldest son of four of the man of
the hour. I have been given the honor to stand before you and introduce my
father. There is really no words that come to mind that adequately do
justice to my dad. Not only is he a man that stands up for those who are
wronged, but he is my father.

No matter what he is doing or where he is at, he has always put his family
first. He could be across the ocean, but he knows everything that is going
on back here at home. Nothing gets by him. He always does what is right for
his family along with whatever task he is doing. It gives me the greatest
honor to introduce to you all, my father, General Daniel Lopez."

The audience started stood up once again applauding as my father makes his
way on the stage. He met me in the middle of the stage. As I handed him the
microphone, we hugged. He whispered in my ear thanks and that he loved me.

I walked over and took my seat once again between Brandon and
Carlos. Brandon patted me on my shoulder as he leaned in and whispered.

"You were awesome out there Josh. I wish I could sing like that."

I turned and smiled at my younger brother and then rubbed his head. My
father started out thanking those that spoke before him and the Glee
Club. He asked the audience to give us another round of applause once
again. As soon as they finished applauding us they sat back down.

That is when my dad started talking about the condition of our State. How
it has been ran under the current Governor, and he wants to have another
four years in office. All through my father's speech, the audience
chanting: "Enough is Enough" and "No More Business As Usual", over and over
again.

"It is time for change in Austin and I don't mean from one politician to
another. I mean real change for the people of Texas, a change to a new
governor, a governor of the people, from the people. Not one that has been
given everything in life having never earned a thing on his own. One that
has lived the life of regular Texans!

It is time to send one of us regular Joes to the State Capitol in
Austin. That is the only way we can ensure the problems our State is
facing, will be fixed. No more broken promises. No more lies! Just an
honest person to be a true peoples' representative in Austin!

I am coming before you here tonight to declare my intention to run on the
Republican Party ticket for the Governorship of Texas!"

The crowd once again got up applauding my dad. All through his speech they
interrupted over and over again with applause. Not one person in the
audience booed my dad. And that is saying a lot since he decided to make
his announcement in El Paso; a city that always votes for the other party,
not Republican!

"I am asking for your vote, I need your vote come November. I promise you
if you put me in the Governorship of Texas, I won't forget where I came
from. I am a middle class American, wanting my government to work for me,
not the other way around.

Thank you for your time and I hope to see you at the polls in November!"

As we joined my father on the stage, the audience kept chanting his name
over and over again. I can't believe the response he is getting here. All
that is telling me is the people want change and they see it in my father.

After taking several bows, my father turned and waved on the Glee Club, I
walked back and joined them as the music started. Before we knew it, the
stage got rushed. The audience didn't get on the stage, but they started
singing along to our last song, "Fame". Just like the songs prior, they
enjoyed themselves.

My father, along with my mother and brother's made their way off the stage
back into the school. As soon as we finished singing we made our way back
into the school. My father was just finishing up his `q and a' with the
press when we walked in. My father walked over to us and smiled.

"I can't say enough on how good you all sounded tonight. Thank you all for
singing for us tonight. A job well done, you guys!"

He shook each of the Glee Clubs hands as he made his way to the door. I
thanked everyone and followed my dad out. We actually got escorted to our
vehicle and out of the area. The police cruisers didn't leave until we got
home. Even then I saw several officers posted.

None of us went to our separate rooms when we walked in. Instead we headed
to the den. Once we are sat down my father thanked us for being there with
him tonight. He explained how it is going to be while he is running for the
office. He then opened the floor for any of us to say our peace.

At first no one spoke. Then Brandon broke the silence by speaking up.

"Dad I don't want to spoil this evening, but I need to tell you something
that happened here when you left. Something that mom did with Daniel and
Carlos."

"Brandon I warned you if you say anything about the lies you are about to
spread, you will be in a lot of trouble!"

"Martha let Brandon speak. I want to hear what he has to say!"

"Daniel he is just going to lie to you. He misunderstood something I said,
and now he is going to tell you nothing but lies!"

 "Let me decide that Martha. I want to hear what Brandon has to say."

"Well dad, after you left, mom pulled Daniel, Carlos and I..."

Brandon actually sat there telling our dad everything that happened
yesterday. As he spoke, I could see the anger boiling up in my father's
eyes. Even before Brandon could finish, he stopped him.

"Is this right Josh? I want to know the truth, did this happen to you last
night?"

Tears started rolling down my dads face. I have never seen him this mad
before. His anger is floating to the surface. My father isn't trying to
hide it either.

"Dad what Brandon said about last night..."


TO BE CONTINUED...

{Brandon was true to his word when he told Josh that he was going to expose
their mom. How could any parent do what this parent did? I actually took
this part out of my real life. It didn't happen to me, but I knew a family
that one of their son's was actually treated like that. He was forced to
eat off the floor, sleep in the same corner in which he ate, and use the
restroom only outside and not even allowed to shower inside.

When I saw that, I couldn't believe it. When the State finally stepped in
and took this poor boy away, I couldn't be happier. I didn't know what to
do when I saw that. I was sixteen at the time. I knew it was wrong, but
didn't do a thing about it. To this day I wish I was the one that made that
call!

So do you think that Josh is going to back his brother Brandon, or lie?
Daniel Sr. isn't happy at all with what he just heard. He warned his wife
not to do anything different with Josh. Not even a day after she was told,
she did what she did.

What about Josh's older brothers? What dicks they are! I really hope
something happens to teach then the meaning of love. No matter what a
person does in their life, they don't deserve to be stabbed in the back by
anyone, let alone someone in their own family.

Eric and Bernice once again stood up for Josh. We got another surprise in
this chapter. It seems that everyone at the table knows about Josh and
Chris. They really didn't hide it well. It seems the only one that doesn't
know is Elizabeth and she is looking for it. Will Patrick and Frank open up
since Josh and Chris is now in the open?

From Elizabeth playing her dirty games, we wonder if she is going to be
caught. To Chris's dad lingering in shadows. When will he make his move?
And when he does, will Chris be safe? All the way to Daniel Sr.'s run for
state office. There is so much going on in this story, you will wonder if
the story will ever end.

So I could stay here all day long, with all the open plots already in this
story, but I won't. I warn you though! Don't skip a chapter, or you will be
lost. There is a so much to answer in the chapters to come. Keep reading
the future chapters, and enjoy! Please email me and let me know how I am
doing at Joshmillertex@aol.com, Thanks!}

EDITOR'S CORNER:

Well, he's done it again...left us hanging out there wondering what's next.

Josh's mom's abuse is, sadly, not just fiction. As Jacob said, he was
witness to it in his own life. I cannot wrap my mind around how anyone, let
alone a PARENT, can do such things, but these things can and DO happen.
Even in our greatly enlightened age, there is still hatred and bigotry
running rampant through every vein of our society.

Keep your eyes open. Watch for the signs. If you see someone being
inflicted with hatred and abuse, ACT on it.  You won't ever regret stepping
in to aid another.

Until next time,

"Daddy" Rick