Date: Fri, 26 Mar 2010 01:32:23 -0400
From: jacobmillertex@aol.com
Subject: Shadow Of My Father: Chapter 4

{The Shadow of My Father is pure fiction. As I am writing this story, I am
above the age of 21. Any similarity to any other events, names, or life
events is pure accidental. If you are under age, (according to your state
laws as a minor), if this literature is offensive to you or to anyone
around your viewing area, or it is illegal for you to view such content
where you are reading it, stop reading the story.  This story can not be
distributed in any way, shape or form without my expressed consent.

Authoring a good and engaging story is only half the job. The other half is
having an editor that will take the artistic work and makes it read
smoothly and easily. I have such a guy doing that for me and he deserves a
ton of thanks from me (and you) for what you read, both in this story and
my previous (and ongoing) story "Jacob, Finding His Way".  If you have
comments or want to speak to "Daddy" Rick, please feel free to do so. He's
an engaging character and has a lot of input to the final product you
read. He reads all the comments you send in by e-mail. Most times you will
see his remarks in the Editors Corner at the end of a chapter.}

Written by J.P.G.

     Chapter 4

(CHRIS'S PONT OF VIEW)

I sat there in the counselor's office not believing the question that I was
being asked! I heard my counselor several times asking me for my answer. I
just kept thinking what I have gone through at my dad's hands.

Every waking moment since I could remember my father treated me like I was
the incarnation of Satan himself walking this earth. As you all know my mom
died giving birth to me. What you don't know is that the doctors told her
months before I was born that she will need to make a decision soon about
her pregnancy!

They found out through several weeks of tests, the pregnancy wasn't going
well. The doctors predicted if she went through with the birth, she, I, or
both of us would die during birth. My dad kept pushing her to end the
pregnancy, but she didn't want to.

True to the predictions of the doctors, she had a very hard labor. We both
almost died, but it was only my mom that lost her life that day.

Ever since, my father blames me for taking her away from him. He would beat
me with whatever he could get his hands on. He would beat me every time he
saw me.

I could remember several times my father beat me to the point I thought I
was going to die. One time he actually was so drunk he picked up a beer
bottle and started hitting me with it. It broke several times and still he
kept beating me with it. When there was nothing left of that beer bottle,
he just simply picked up another. By the end of that beating, he went
through at least six beer bottles. This resulted with several shards of
broken glass in my body and me bleeding all over the place when my father
was done! The neighbors heard the yelling and noise, so they called the
police. When the police arrived, they just warned my farther to not
discipline me that way and left.

Another time my father came into my room drunk, once again, calling me
every name in the book. He pulled me out of my bed by my hair. He started
beating me over and over again with his fist and kicking me with his feet!
When he was done, I got up, which got him angrier. The result of that anger
was him putting my head through the wall of my bedroom! Once again the
neighbors heard the noise and called the police, but nothing was done.

Over time I've learned how to take a beating from my father. I got so good
at it I knew how to hide it from watchful eyes. I kept hoping my father
would learn to love me as a son and accept me as one. But to this day, he
has not. So why am not answering this question? It is an easy one to
answer! Then the words just flowed out of my mouth.

"I am sorry sir, but I don't want to live with my father anymore. If it is
ok with Coach and Nancy I would like to stay with them!"

Before anyone else could say a word, my father flew off the handle.

"What the hell did you do with my son? Did you brainwash him to not want to
come back home with me? He is my son and he needs to come home with me
now!"

My dad actually stepped up to Coach. He is getting ready to hit him, when I
noticed that Coach was not going to take this laying down.

"This is probably why your son doesn't want to go back home with you. He
doesn't want to be beaten anymore. Look at your son Mr. Jimenez, look at
him!"

My dad stepped back and just looked at me. He looked at me for the very
first time as a father. I saw a man I never seen before. I think this is
the man my mother must have fallen in love with and then married.

"You have almost completely beaten and stripped your son's zest for life
away. You have beaten him so many times not only he has the scars on his
body, but he has the scars emotionally as well. Do your son a favor for
once in his life. Let him live a normal life without the fear of being
beaten the moment he walks through the door of his own home.

Let your son heal and maybe he will go back to you. Neither my wife nor I
will ever stand in your son's way if he decides that. But it needs to be
his decision to do so. It is not yours or my place to force him into a home
where he doesn't feel safe!"

My dad sat back down! He didn't say a word after what Coach said. I never
told Coach or Nancy about the beatings I'd gotten at the hands of my
father. In fact I have never told anyone about them.

"Chris please go back to your fourth period class. You will be going home
with the Coach this evening!"

I got up and left the office and I was actually shaking with what had just
happened in there. I knew I did the right thing dealing with my father. He
needs to get clean and help before I even consider staying a night back in
my old bedroom. I just hope sometime in the future my dad will change.

(JUAN MONTOYA'S POINT OF VIEW)

I looked over to Mr. Jimenez and saw a broken man! I don't know what
brought him to this point in his life. But I do know if he wants any future
with Chris, he is going to need to get cleaned up and get a lot of help at
the same time.

"Mr. Jimenez I promise you I will never go to court and ask to adopt
Chris. He can only have one father in his life and that is you. He looks up
to you, believe it or not. Please, clean yourself up, get some help and
make a home for you and your son.

I promise when the time is right and you are already to be a parent, Chris
will go home to you. A love of a child is never gone; it just needs to be
found it again."

Mr. Jimenez didn't say anything; he just got up and left the office. I will
never think of stepping in and taking Chris from him. I won't though send
him back into that house where he can be beaten over and over again. Maybe
the next beating he gets at the hands of his father, he might fight back
and might actually kill him.

(JOSHUA'S POINT OF VIEW)

When I walked into the locker room to change for practice, I didn't see
Chris anywhere. I started to think maybe he lost the courage that could him
to not only write the note, but as well give it to me. I kept looking
around and still no signs of Chris.

I walked out to the pool and started to do my warm ups. When everyone
showed up, I started to wonder where in the world the Coach was at too. We
sat there waiting for the Coach to give us our assignments for the day.

About ten minutes into practice, Coach walked in. Bill, our team captain,
yelled out to the Coach as he was walking towards us; "Coach you are ten
minutes for practice. So that means you owe us five laps in the pool!"

We all laughed at what Bill said and the look on Coach's face.

"Ok guys that is pretty funny and I do owe you all the laps; but let's get
down to business."

Coach made us do warm ups and then had us work in the individual races we
will be swimming again in a couple of weeks. As I was finishing up my first
round of practice, Chris walked out of the locker room.

Chris looked ok, but I still wonder why he was late to practice. He walked
up to Coach and said something to him, and Coach nodded. All through
practice we were so busy I didn't get a chance to talk with Chris about the
note he gave me.

We couldn't talk in the locker room either with the other guys in ear shot
of anything Chris or I would say. I was getting little frustrated to say
the least. As I was leaving the locker room, I grabbed a hold of Chris's
hand. As he looked up at me I winked at him. That was the only thing I was
able to do to let Chris know I read the note.

I was so in deep thought as I was walking home that I didn't heat Bernice
calling out for me. When a snapped out of it, I saw Bernice standing by a
black Ford Taurus in the school parking lot! I walked over to her as she
stood there watching. I wondered what kept her here after school this late.

Right as I get to the car, an older man steps out I know right off the bat
it is her father. He is dressed all in black with the white collar; you
know the ones that priests wear. He stands about five eight, a touch of
graying in his hair. He is clean shaven with no wrinkles. The only thing
noticeable that tells his age is the graying hair.

"Dad, this is Josh my new boyfriend, Josh this is my father, Father Sergio
Gomez." Bernice said.

I walk up and shake Bernice's father's hand. He shakes mine looking at me
over. I think he is sizing me up. Then he finally speaks; "Josh, I already
feel I know you. You are all my daughter has been talking about in the last
couple of days; you and some student named Chris. I really didn't know who
she likes more, you or Chris. I figure you won out."

Father Gomez laughed as he got in his car. Bernice just stared at me, and
finally I got the hint. I walked around the car and gave her a kiss on the
cheek.

"Josh you don't need to worry about me when you are around my
daughter. Just remember I work for the big guy upstairs. So if you do
something that you should not do before marriage, I will know!"

I stepped back and smiled at Father Gomez. I know he is kidding, but still
it freaks me out hearing someone, especially a priest, talk like that.

"Bernice go ahead and spend the afternoon with Josh, if that is ok with him
and his family." Father Gomez looked up at me when he said that.

"Oh I know it won't be a problem with my mother. Just as long as homework
is done first."

"I already like this boy, Bernice. She has her books and she knows what
homework needs to be done first as well. What about your father Josh,
wouldn't he mind?" Father Gomez inquired.

"My father is over seas in Saudi Arabia, near the Kuwait border. He is the
General that is in charge of the soldiers that might be asked to go into
Kuwait!" I reported.

"Oh yes, I forgot your father is in the military. Please forgive me for
asking Josh. It must be hard your family. Please let your family know my
family will be praying for his safe return home real soon!"

"I will, Father and thank you!"

"Bernice please call me when you are already to come. I will pick you no
later than six. I have Josh's address and phone number if I need to get a
hold of you sooner."

I said good bye to Bernice's father as he drove off. This is going to take
some getting used to; dating the daughter of a priest. I just hope he
doesn't talk religion every time he is around. Don't get me wrong, I have
nothing against religion. I pray every night and give thanks to the man
upstairs. I just don't go all out into my religion.

Bernice and I walked to my house just talking about random topics. When we
walked in, my mom was coming down the stairs. She looked at me then over to
Bernice. I think my mom might not be too happy with my bringing a girl home
so soon after Elizabeth.

"Mom this Bernice, Bernice this is my mom Martha. Bernice is my new
girlfriend!"

My mom just looked at her then back at me. She then shook Bernice's hand as
she walked back to the kitchen. I pulled Bernice upstairs to my room trying
to explain to her about my mom.

I really didn't have to say much, Bernice understood all about my mom and
what she was feeling. We did our homework first and then sat on my bed. We
talked about everything we liked. She told me about the girls she liked the
most and told her about the guys I liked the most. Then it dawned on me to
let her see the letter Chris wrote me.

"Bernice I am going to let you see a note. Please be honest with me and
don't breathe a word of it to anyone!"

"Come on Josh, you know me, I won't say a thing. Now give me the note so I
can read it already."

I handed Bernice the note and watched her as she read it. The moment she
finished she smiled at me.

"You are one lucky guy, Josh! Do you know how this had to be for anyone to
write like this? Chris really has the hots for you and wants a
relationship. How are you going to respond or have you already done so?"
Bernice asked with a lot of excitement.

"No I was going to tell Chris during practice today but never got a chance
to. He was late for some reason. After that we really never got a chance to
talk about it. I just grabbed a hold of his hand for a few seconds and
winked at him."

"Oh that is so damn cute! I would die for the girl I like to give me the
time of day!"

"How would you handle it if you got the same kind of letter from the girl
you like?" I asked.

"Well to start with I would be very nervous. Look, we are just high school
students not knowing if the person we hook up with today is going to be the
same person we will be together with next week. Prime example: Look at you
and Elizabeth.

Just to don't go all out and make it a huge thing. You and Chris are trying
to keep it low key. You both don't want anyone else to know about your true
nature. Don't dress any different; don't put on cologne that you will
normally not use at school. Don't go all gaga over Chris when you see him.

When you see Chris, be the same as you have been in the past. Just when you
have a private moment with him, let him know you have the same feelings as
he has for you. Keep it at arm's length at first. Don't put all your
feelings on the line because you don't want to be crushed if it doesn't
work out, or if Chris moves away! Your first priority has to be protecting
yourself; being true to yourself.

Take it slow and build this relationship with him. That way you guys will
last the test of time. Remember who we are and what we will go through in
our lifetime. We will be tested more then any other relationship will. You
need the one standing on your side to be as strong as you are" Bernice
concluded.

I listened to every word Bernice said. She hit on very good points. I want
Chris to love and want me for who I am and nothing more than that. In order
to do that, will need to work on the relationship with Chris!

"You're right Bernice on every point you made. You know the time will come
when I will need to tell Chris about us; right?"

"I know and I give you permission to do so. I trust your judgment and I
trust Chris too. He seems to be a good guy; I hope I am right on that"
Bernice said reflectively. We sat there quietly just thinking. I know I am
thinking how I am going to approach Chris about the note he wrote. I know
want to be with him and see if we can become more than friends. At the same
time, when you take a friendship to the next level and it doesn't work
things can never go back to the way they were before.

We were both sitting there, contemplating the many aspects of our lives
that were going to be affected by us `dating'.  I realized that I needed to
know more about Bernice and there was a question running around in my head
since I met her Dad, the "Father".

"Bernice, since we have to really get to know all about each other, may I
ask you what might be a very personal question?" I asked.

"Josh, you are right about us having to get to know each other very
well. Of course you may ask me anything at all." Bernice replied.

"I have been wondering how is it possible for your father to be a Father?
What I mean is, I thought Fathers in the church could not marry or have
kids?" I inquired as delicately as I could.

"You right on all counts Josh. My father is a Roman Catholic priest and
they cannot marry or, since they can't marry, have kids of their own. He is
my uncle on my father's side. I do not want to bore you with all the
details of it except say this: My mother and father were killed in a
boating accident when I was six. No one on either side of the family could
afford to take me in. So my uncle, the man you met today, took me in. He
became my father when I needed a father the most.

I can remember certain things about my parents, but the man you met today
is my father. I love him as such because he took me in when no one else
would and has raised me as though I am his own."

I stayed quiet for a few minutes. I was somewhat embarrassed to have made
Bernice remember a bad time in her life.

"I am sorry for bringing up those emotions'. I was just thinking that's
all. Thank you though for telling me."

"No problem Josh! I have learned to live with it already. We need to tell
each other everything in order for this to work. We've got to trust one
another with everything; even our deepest secrets."

She was right and I knew that. After this I feel even closer to Bernice
then I ever did with Elizabeth. This will work out great for the both of
us.


My mom called me down for dinner. I looked over to Bernice and then the
clock. It was five till six. We walked down and I told my mother that
Bernice's father is going to be here in a few minutes. My mom wanted to
meet him, but not without my dad.

I walked out with Bernice and it seemed as if we were on the same brain
wave with her father. As we walk out the door, Bernice's father drives
up. He looked out the window and smiled at us.

I walked her to the car and leaned in to kiss her. We have to keep the
pretence of our relationship up whenever we are around others. I opened the
door for Bernice as she got in. I waved at her as they drove off.

When I walked in my brothers were just looking at me. I know they agree
with my mother about Elizabeth. All of them, except my younger brother
Brandon. I really don't care what they think about Elizabeth at this
point. If they only knew what she was all about they would have a different
feeling. We sat and ate in silent during dinner. Believe me these are the
times I miss my father. He would put everyone in their place.

(BILLY'S POINT OF VIEW)

This has become another normal day for me, running for my life. There are a
group of kids that always seem to focus on me and kick my butt at least
three times a week. I figure I am the weakest of the group or just the
dumbest of the group. Whatever the reason may be, I am always being chased.

I thought I was being smart this time. I ran around the building from the
where the buses drop us off. I looked back behind me and saw the other kids
fall pretty far behind me. In fact a few of them had actually given up on
the hunt! I can only hope the rest of them would do the same thing.

I decided this time instead of running across the field, I am going to run
up the stairs and head over where there are a lot of people. I flew up the
stairs, slammed the doors open. Started running down the hall toward the
cafeteria. Just as I was turning the corner, I was thrown against the wall.

When I looked up, it was the two kids that I thought had given up chasing
me. Boy was I wrong on that assumption. Just as I was getting my footing,
the others caught up and started their taunting.

As they were catching their breath from the run, the others actually were
not out of breath and taking care of the normal butt kicking I receive at
their hands. I couldn't get away at all. I was cornered against the wall
and they were just going at it on me.

The next thing I knew the guys were being pulled off of me. I really don't
who was pulling them off of me; I just know I wasn't getting beaten
anymore. I was surprised again when one of the guys that pulled the others
off of me, extended his hand to help me up off the ground.

"Hey are you ok man? Those guys were really wailing on you when we
arrived!"

I looked up and saw three guys standing over me. I didn't know whether to
be afraid of them or try to talk to them.

"If you pulled them off to take over for them, please just get it over
with!"

They just looked at stunned at what I said. I now know these guys were not
here to beat the living day lights out of me. In fact they actually did
something nice for me.

"Hey man we really don't know what those guys' issue was is. We just saw
five on one and knew it wasn't fair. We have no problem with you at all. I
just wanted to help and I know my friends here felt the same way."

All three of them were just looking at me. I know I am all messed up from
the beating I was getting. I started to feel bad for what I said to them. I
am wondering who they are when one of them answers my unasked question.

"Hey, you don't have a worry with us. By the way my name is Josh, and this
is Eric and Chris!"

They extended their hands for me to shake. I reached out to shake their
hands as I introduced myself.

"My name is Benjamin Tacked, Billy for short!"

"It is nice to meet you Billy! I hope you don't care if we hang with you
this morning?" Josh spoke for himself and the others.

I kind of laughed a little to what Josh had said. He is actually asking me
if they could hang with me. That is a first time anyone has ever asked to
be around me.

I am no athlete of any kind. In fact I really have no friends here at
school. It is my freshman year, but I never had friends in middle school
either. I have always been the smallest and skinniest kid in my class. I
stand if lucky about five four, maybe hundred and twenty pounds. I don't
have any real style at all. I wear just jeans and whatever shirt that's
clean. My hair is brown, and I normally have it all over the place. Some
have told me if I should move my hair away from my face and let others see
my gray eyes, I would make friends a lot easier.

I really don't think anything would make others want to be my friend. I
like to be alone, have been alone, and that's the way I like it. To say I
am surprised is an understatement.

I straighten myself up and walked with Josh and his friends to the
cafeteria. Josh went straight to the table and the other two got in line to
eat. I got into line with Chris and Eric to get my breakfast.

As we were walking to the table, a group of girls at a table were chanting
Chris's name followed by fag or hag. I looked at Chris but he didn't pay
them any mind. He just walked to the table.

Josh and the guys were talking and they included me in with whatever they
were talking about as if we have been friends for years. They didn't care
or even want to know what all that business was about in the hallway. It
felt so comfortable just hanging around with them. I have never met a group
of guys that just takes in a new person like these guys do.

(JOSHUA'S POINT OF VIEW)

"Ok Eric I will give you the answer to the riddle. Just don't kick yourself
in the butt once I tell you what it is!"

"Just tell me, you dumb ass! I am tired of trying to figure out your dumb
riddles!"

"Ok; I did warn you about the answer."

To give Eric even a harder time I turned to Billy and told him the
riddle. The look on Eric's face when I did that was priceless. He looks
like he is going to explode. I just start to laugh at him!

"I know the answer to your riddle Josh. You hold in your hands a fifty cent
piece and a nickel!" Billy said with a big grin on his face.

"Billy got it when I said one is not a nickel not, neither is a nickel!"

"Yeah you said one is not a nickel. But the one that is not a nickel is a
fifty cent piece and the one that is a nickel is the nickel. You have two
coins, only ONE isn't a nickel" Bill stated.

"You're right Billy and you got it on your first try man!" I said with a
huge grin on my face.

"Come on Josh I told you that the first time you told me the riddle and you
said I was wrong!" Eric retorted.

"No, Eric, I asked `are you sure' and you backed off of your answer. That
isn't my fault!" I said with a self satisfied smirk on my face and in my
tone.

I slugged Eric in the shoulder to make him laugh. Finally he cracked a
smile and started laughing at the riddle. I just love to yank Eric's
chain. He makes it so easy to do so and I just can't resist it.

The bell rang to start the day. I wanted to get a chance to talk with
Chris, but once again we didn't get that chance. Eric and I headed to our
locker to get our books for the morning classes. Chris and Billy went their
own directions. I really hope whatever is causing the problems for Billy,
he will be safe, at least for awhile.

Eric and I talked through much of our morning classes. I like going to
class, I am good at the classes I have, but I just don't like how boring
they are. I just need to find a way to pass science class.

There were no surprise exams for the morning classes. For that I was
thankful at least! During Algebra class I helped out Mr. Becker during
class. He asked me to help the others that have not caught onto class
assignments. I sat with a group and walked them through the problems in
each test we have had already.

When the bell for lunch rang, I can tell you I was hungry as hell. I was
about to go to my locker several times and get my lunch and eat it. As the
days before, Liz and her group of misfits were chanting slur words at
Chris. We ignored them as we have done for the last couple of days.

Billy came over and sat with us. I felt good because our little group is
growing with misfits here at the school. Soon there will be too many of us
to handle.

Mrs. Nunez stopped me the minute I walked into fourth period class.

"Josh I really believe you have too good a voice for my class. I asked the
Glee teacher to take you on in his class. Mr. Edger has no problem taking
you if you want it."

"Mrs. Nunez did I do something wrong for you to transfer me out?"

"No Josh of course not! You are the opposite of that! You have a voice that
needs to be heard, not silenced in this group. Oh no Josh, and please don't
take it that way!"

I walked across the hall with Mrs. Nunez to Mr. Edger's class. I thought to
myself, who would have a name like Edger? His name gives me the
creeps. When I walked into his class, I couldn't believe my eyes. It was
like a playground of instruments all over the place. No desk anywhere, just
bleacher's going down one side of the wall.

Mrs. Nunez introduced us. I was asked to take a seat. Right after the bell
rang, everyone got up and grabbed an instrument and started
playing. Mr. Edger came up to me.

"Josh do you play any kind of instrument?"

"No sir I don't! I only sing, if you call what I do singing!"

"We will find out in a few minutes. Here is a song we have been working
on. We just have not gotten really good male or female vocals in this group
to sing it. Let's see if you are the one to carry this song as Mrs. Nunez
thinks you would."

I looked down at the sheet of music I was handed and saw it is Wind Beneath
My Wings, by Bette Midler. I don't know why he wanted a male vocal on the
song. This song is made famous by a female singer.

I got up and headed over to Mr. Edger to ask. But before I could ask, he
started to speak.

"Ok guys, as you can see we have a new student in the class today. Please
welcome Josh as he gets used to all of us. Please don't scare him off in
his first day with us. As you all know we need to have a solo in order to
compete.

You guys sing great as a group, but there isn't one that can hold a solo
spot right now. I hope Josh is the man, at least I have been told that he
very well might be. The song we are going to try to perform is "Wind
Beneath My Wings". I know it is scored for a female vocal, but we can bring
down to the key necessary. We lost our vocal to another school. We need to
get this down ladies and gentleman.

So let's take it from the top shall we!"

I was put on the spot right from the beginning and I couldn't believe it. I
walked over to where Mr. Edger was pointing at for me to stand. I was
nervous at the same time I didn't even know the song.

Right away, I missed my cue when they started playing. I walked over to
Mr. Edger and told him what key I sing in. This time when they started, I
didn't miss the cue to begin.

I just looked at the sheet music and sang the words on the page along with
the music. I started getting into it, and that surprised me. By the time
the song was over, the whole room was quiet. I looked around to see if I
could read my classmates faces; no luck!

"Well Mrs. Nunez is right about you Josh. You have what it takes to be a
solo in this class and in real life. What you did was so damn awesome! With
work we can get you to be even better. We have our new solo vocal in you
Josh!"

Everyone in the class clapped or pounded on what ever instrument they had
in their hands. I needed to speak with Mr. Edger before he gets really
excited.

When he broke the class in groups to practice the group performances, that
when I walked up to him in order to talk.

"Mr. Edger I have a problem with this whole thing sir!"

"What is the problem Josh?"

"I signed up for Mrs. Nunez's class because we are required to have a
credit of fine arts in order to graduate. I never thought I would be
here. If you need permission from my parent's in order to be in this
class. I can tell you right now, you won't get it!"

"Josh I will need your parents to give you permission to be in this
class. We perform here at school at night and many times away at other
schools or events. Why do you think you won't get permission from your
parents? It is just another version of the class you were taking, that is
all!"

"I know that and I know my parents. My father more so then my mother! He
believes these kinds of class aren't for men, but for woman. He has these
strict set of guidelines we must follow.  This class is way off the
guidelines he has set out for us."

"Look Josh, for now let's have you practice with the class. When the time
comes for me to get your parents' permission, we will cross that bridge at
that time."

"Mr. Edger I cannot do that. My parents keep close tabs on all my
classes. No sir, I would need to let them know in the next couple of
days. Tonight I will tell my mother and Saturday my father!"

"Why do you need to talk with your parents separate?"

"My dad is overseas right now. He is a General in the Army!"

"That explains a lot about what you said to me here today Josh. Here, let
me get you the permission papers for your parents to sign. You will need
only one parent to sign these, and it can be your mother since your father
is stationed elsewhere."

I took the paper work from Mr. Edger, but I knew I was not going to be able
to return them to him. There is no way my parents are going to allow me to
stay in this class. As the bell rang, I walked over to Mrs. Nunez's class
and explained to her my problem.

"Josh don't worry, I would not put you on the spot like this without
covering all my bases! I spoke with your mother in my off period today. At
first she didn't seem too pleased, but when I explained to her there is not
much of a difference to my class and Mr. Edger's. She gave me permission to
switch you to Mr. Edger's class. I wouldn't have been able to unless I got
your parents' permission."

"Wow Mrs. Nunez you are great. Thank you for believing in me the way you
do. I hope I don't let you down!"

"I know you won't let me down Josh. Your mother knows about the paper work
she needs to sign to give you permission to attend all the events this
class does."

As I was walking out Mr. Edger walked in. I smiled at him as I walked past
him. I feel better already after talking to Mrs. Nunez. The rest of the day
went by in a flash. I caught Chris out side the pool. I needed to talk to
him about the note.

"Hey Chris, do you have a few minutes so we can talk?"

"Yeah we have a few minutes to talk. You know we can't be late for
practice?"

"I know that Chris! I will make this short as it can be."

Right when I was about to start, several guys from the swim team started
pulling us in. As they pulled us along, we started to ruff housing on the
way. Damn it! When will I ever get the chance to talk with Chris about the
note?

We played all the way in and got ready for practice. As every passing
minute went by without me able to talk to Chris about the note! Telling him
my feelings, it made me angrier and angrier! I really wanted to get this
over with!

The Coach kept us on our toes all through practice. We didn't have time to
catch our breath more less talk. Every so often I looked over to Chris as
he looked over at me and we would share these looks.

We swam in different events. Yeah we are on the same team, but different
events. The only time we even got close to each other was in the team
events. Still though, we didn't get a chance to talk. Too many ears and
eyes around!

I showered and dressed to head home. Chris did the same, but since he lives
with Coach right now he hitches a ride home with him. I know this much now;
I am going to have to pull Chris aside and talk with him soon. There's no
more waiting to talk with him when opportunity it presents itself. I will
need to make it happen.

I met up with Bernice outside the main building. We walked to my home
together. I told her what had happen to me during class today. She thought
it was cool that I will be singing in the Glee club. I feared it more then
anything else, because people are going to be watching me even more. You
know what they think about those in Glee Club!

Same routine as the day before; Bernice and I headed upstairs to my room
and did our homework. Then we sat there talking about everything and
anything. I started to feel more comfortable talking with Bernice about
everything. I have not had anyone in my life to talk to openly. I have
always had to hide my true self from everyone.

Bernice is really cool to have around. I was in the dumps because I was
unable to talk with Chris today. She cheered me right up bringing me back
to my usual funny self!

Once six arrived we went down stairs to meet up with her father. I was
waiting to hear her ask why my mother didn't want to meet him but she
didn't even mention it. Bernice's father was already waiting for her the
minute we opened the door. I kissed her on the cheek saying goodbye. I also
greeted her father before they drove away.

I was closing the door when my mother called me into the study. Just the
tone of her voice, I knew it was not good. I walked into the study as my
brothers were walking out. I noticed that she had the phone on speaker as I
took as seat!

"Josh is now here honey!" Mom said directing her voice to the speaker
phone.

"Hello Josh, how are you doing?" Dad inquired.

"I am doing ok dad, how about you?"

"I really can't complain about much! Josh it seems that you are becoming a
discipline problem for you mom since I left. I stood behind you on the last
issue that came up. But now I hear you are not listening to your mom or
brothers for that matter. What is going on with you Josh?"

"Dad I am listening to what I am being told. I really don't understand
where or what I have done that makes them feel I am not listening to them."

"First your brothers told me that you didn't want to do your chores this
weekend. Let me make this clear as I can. You are no one special Josh and
you will do everything as if I am there!"

"Dad I did my chores this weekend when mom asked all of us to do them. It
was Daniel and Carlos that wanted me to do their chores. When I stood up to
them, they got mad. Then they tried to force Brandon to do their chores. I
stood up to them on behalf of Brandon sir!"

"Martha you didn't have Brandon in here! Why is that?"

"I figure you just needed to speak with Daniel and Carlos!"

"Call for Brandon for me please!"

My mom went out and got Brandon. I just sat there not saying a word as they
came into the room. I really hope he stands up and tells the truth. They
did the greeting before getting down to the topic at hand.

"Brandon I am getting several versions of what happened this weekend when
you boys were doing your chores. Everyone is saying that Josh refused to do
his chores, is that true?"

"No dad it is not true at all! Josh did his chores when mom asked us to go
and do them. It was Carlos and Daniel that didn't want to do them!"

"You know what Brandon thank you for the truth son. Sorry to have put you
on the spot here. I love you son and please take care. Leave me with your
mom and brother."

Brandon left, leaving just me and my mother in the study!"

"You know Martha I have way too much to do here then to deal with this
bull. The boys are being boys and I am not going to stop that. By turning
the boys against each other isn't right. I don't want to bring up children
that will be back stabbing each other.

Josh I need to know what is going on with this music class. Your mom is
telling me that you were requested by another teacher to sing in their
class? Is this something you want to do son?"

"Well dad I really never gave it much thought to tell you the
truth. Mrs. Nunez says I have a very good voice. I think I have an ok
voice, but not to make a career out of it. It will give me something else
to do in high school."

"Well then son I have no objection to you doing this Glee thing. Just if
you do it, you need to go all the way; no half ass efforts!"

"I promise dad, I will give it all it takes!"

"I am getting the feeling from you Josh that you are afraid of me. You are
afraid to ask me to do what you like. I don't want that from any of my
sons. You guys can ask me anything and I will let it happen as long as your
grades don't slip.

I am trying my best to bring you guys up with your mom on my side. But we
know you guys will find your own track in life and follow that road. Please
Josh promise me not to be afraid to ask me for anything. Bottom line, I
want all you guys to be happy, that's all I want. I love you son and I will
always have your back no matter what!"

"I love you too dad and I really miss you!"

"I will be home soon I hope. Let me talk with your mother really quickly
before my time is up here!"

I said goodbye again to my father and left the room. Whatever my dad needed
to tell my mother, it didn't take long. She was out of the study calling
for us to eat within a few minutes from me leaving her.

(CHRIS'S POINT OF VIEW)

I know Josh wants to tell me something about the note I wrote him. He seems
more and more uneasy about the whole thing. I am starting to wonder if he
is taking it the wrong way or just never liked it from the beginning.

I just wish we could get a chance to talk! All through the day there is
always someone around keeping us from talking. I don't want anyone to know
about me being the way I am. Not here and not now.

Now I have to deal with this whole issue with my father. On the way home,
Coach explained to me that my dad wants to spend a couple of hours with me
this week. The Coach didn't see anything wrong with it, but I am scared to
death about it.

Still agreed to spend a couple of hours with him after school on Thursday!
He is going to pick me up after swim team practice. If at any time I feel
uncomfortable being with him, Coach did say to get to a phone and call him
or the police if it is really bad.

The next day at school, that is all I could think about. I didn't even hear
Josh and the others talking to me during breakfast. I could have agreed to
jump off a bridge because all I was doing was shaking my head to everything
they were saying.

Tomorrow is the day and I really don't want it to come. At the same time as
I looked over to Josh, something about the look on his face. The look he
has right now told me everything is going to be ok and he was with me. I am
really falling for this guy!

(JOSHUA'S POINT OF VIEW)

I knew there was something up with Chris. He just wasn't being himself
during breakfast. I made up my mind to pull him aside after breakfast and
tell him I have the same feelings for him that he has for me. I knew it
wasn't the time since he has a lot weighing on his mind right now and I
could see that. I tried to reassure Chris that everything is alright every
time he looked over my direction. I'm not sure if he is getting the
message.

All morning we had pop quizzes in every class. I started to think to
myself, these teachers got together and agreed to give the students a day
of hell. My brain was worn down by the time I walked into fourth period
class.

Before I took a seat on the bleachers with the rest of the class, I handed
Mr. Edger the paper work he needed to have signed. He looked very pleased
when he looked through it and saw it was all signed.

After Mr. Edger took roll call, he stunned the entire class.

"Ok guys as you all know we have an assembly tomorrow during this
class. All of the school is going to be there and we have been asked to
perform in the assembly. I know Josh has been with us for only two days. I
do believe he will get it in time of the assembly.

We will work hard and get rid of any problems in the performance. Still
this is a good thing for us. We are going to get an extra show in before we
actually have to perform. We will see what we will need to work on before
we have to perform in competition with other schools."

Mr. Edger went on and explained that the song we were working on is the
right one that needs to be performed tomorrow. The assembly was to pay
respect to those students that got shot in a drive-by shooting that
happened at one of our high schools about a year ago. There are several
students that were in critical condition after the shooting. For many it
was a touch and go situation for some time after the shooting. Thankfully,
no one died and all the injured students did recover from the incident.

All we did during class is practice and practice. The others had their
parts down, I didn't have it and Mr. Edger was concerned about it. When the
bell rang he gave me a recording of the back music and asked me to practice
at home tonight,

My mind is now wrapped around the performance tomorrow, I couldn't think of
anything else. I knew if I screwed up, the entire Glee Club would look bad.

I didn't want the day to go by fast. In fact I wish it would just stop all
together to tell you the truth. I tried several times to talk with Chris
and still without success. I will talk with Chris before the day is
over. This is getting ridiculous and totally out of hand. If we can't even
get a chance to talk about this, how will we ever be able to get time to
date?

On the way home I told Bernice about what I was stressing over. She just
laughed it off and told me not to worry.

"I believe this will happen between you and Chris. You guys seem to be a
perfect for each other. Give it time and you'll see it will unfold the way
it should" Bernice said with encouragement.

"I know I need to give it time. I just stress out if things that do not
work on a schedule I think it should!" I said giving her more insight to my
personality.

"Josh, schedules are good to have as a guide but nothing more than that! We
are in high school, not adults, so let's enjoy it. There will be plenty of
time to be grown ups when the time comes, trust me on that!" Bernice said
with wisdom of someone much older than her years.

I know Bernice is right! I will take it a day at a time. When we got to my
house, we did our homework as usual. Bernice wanted to hear me sing. I knew
I had to practice with an audience. My brothers or mom wouldn't listen to
me.

When I started practicing, Brandon actually walked in and sat by Bernice. I
got a little more nervous with him there, but it didn't stop me. They sat
there listening to me for close to an hour. Each time I finished the song;
they clapped and gave me positive feedback on my performance.

Time flew by and before we knew it Bernice had to go home. We did our
normal goodbyes as I walked her to her father's car. The rest of the
evening was normal from dinner, to watching television, to getting ready
for school the next day.

When I woke up I felt more comfortable about the performance later on this
afternoon. Don't get me wrong, I am still nervous as can be. I couldn't eat
much at home. Maybe when I get to school and am around my friends I will
forget about the performance and just hang out with my friends! Boy was I
wrong about that!

Eric and the others teased me every chance they got once I told them I am
going to sing in front of the school during the assembly today. To make
things worse, the local news channels are going to be there.

After lunch I headed over to class. I wasn't even asked if I was alright to
sing today. Roll call was taken and we then hurried to the gym. I didn't
think the gym was big enough to fit the entire student body and faculty
too. When we walked in, I was wrong, everyone did fit in, but it was
packed. This gym is bigger inside than it looks from the outside.

We took our seats in the front in order to get on stage fast. I looked
around and sure enough all the local channels had someone there. I was
really getting nervous now.

Several local and state representatives got up and spoke about the drive-by
shooting that occurred at one of our other local high schools last
year. Today marks one year since it happened. They used this moment as an
opportunity to speak to the voters more than to us. They were reinsuring
the community this won't happen again.

The principal from our school got up and told the student body that
everything that can be done to keep us safe is being done since that
fateful day last year. He explained the changes that were implemented after
the shooting to keep us safe. We are still going through changes in the
procedures here at school. We needed to be patient until all the changes
take effect and the bugs are worked out.

The Principal Michaels talked about one of the victims of the
shooting. Soon after the shooting happened he transferred over to this high
school. He is doing well and making a remarkable recovery from the injuries
he received.

"Could we all give a round of applause to Jacob Hernandez, please? Jacob?
Where are you, son? Stand up so all of us can see you!"

This younger kid stood up in the third row. He looked so embarrassed about
this happening! I think he wanted to hide. Man, this kid is hot! I wouldn't
mind getting to know him.

Finally the applause settled down and then stopped all together. The moment
I was dreading is here. Mr. Michaels asked for the Glee Club to come up and
perform. I followed the others on the stage. I took my place in front of
the rest of the Glee Club and looked out to the audience. To say I am
freaked can't begin to express what I am feeling at this moment. I somehow
knew I had to tune out the students and the noise. The music started to
play and I hit my cue dead on. All that mattered to me at that moment was
the song.

When I was reaching the end of the song, I looked out to the
audience. Every face was glued to the stage. No one was speaking. They all
were sitting there listening to the song. Many faces were actually tearing
up as we approached the end.

What I didn't think was going to happen, did happen. Everyone in the gym
stood up applauding our performance. I walked back and joined the rest of
the Glee Club as we took our bows on the stage.

Mr. Michaels walked back onto the stage and thanked the Glee Club. He
thanked all the students for being here and then excused us back to our
classes.

Mr. Edger walked along side of me as we headed back to his class.

"Josh, I don't know where to start! You did a great job out there and now I
know I have found my solo singer!"

I honestly felt really good now! The performance was over and I didn't
screw up like I thought I was going to do. In fact I really think I will
like this class.

(CHRIS'S POINT OF VIEW)

I know that Josh is really nervous. I see it in his face as he is standing
up there on the stage. I really hope he doesn't get teased about his
performance. The lights dimmed and the music started.

Then, the spotlight focused right on Josh and his mouth opened. I cannot
even begin to explain the feeling I got hearing his voice. His voice
silenced the room and made every head turn his direction. The words touched
me in ways I can't to put into words.

I felt as if I was in the verses of the song as he was singing them. He
brought the entire audience along the emotional ride that the song
brings. As soon as he was finished, there wasn't a dry eye in the audience,
including mine!

I had chills going up and down my spine. I fell in love with Josh all over
again at that moment. I knew every girl here just fell in love with him as
well.

Josh didn't look as nervous when he was done then he did when he first
stepped onto the stage. He just stepped back into the rest of the Glee Club
and took his bow. He is the solo singer but he didn't want any more
attention than what the rest received.

By the time I got to the locker room, everyone was patting Josh on his
shoulder or back. I went over to him and shook his hand. I leaned in and
whispered into his ear: "I fell more madly in love with you today than I
already was!"

Josh kept a hold of my hand and looked into my eyes. He smiled and got up
and hugged me as well. To others it would just look like friends patting
each other on the back in congratulations for a job well done! What was
said next just took the wind out of me!

"I love you as well Chris! I have loved you since the first day I saw you!"
Josh said in a hushed tone filled with love.

My knees went week and I stopped breathing. Oh my GOD! Josh loves me the
same way that I love him! I felt like I was walking on air at that
moment. We released each other and other guys came up to shake Josh's
hand. Many of them hugged Josh as well. You know that hand shake that leads
into a hug patting each other on the back thing.

Today's practice was Coach riding our butts the whole two hours. When we
were done, I couldn't believe I was able to walk into the locker
room. Still I had to take a shower really quickly and get ready. My father
is waiting for me and if he is the same, I don't dare be late.

I felt someone behind me as I was changing into my street clothes. I turned
around and Josh is just standing there dripping, fresh from the
shower. Standing there wearing only his towel wrapped around his waist, I
only could imagine what lay's beneath the towel.

"Chris I was wondering if you could spare a few minutes where we can talk
before we head home today?" Josh asked.

"Oh man I am really sorry but I can't! I have somewhere to be and I am
already late!" I replied with angst in my voice.

I closed my locker and patted Josh on his back as I left. Just the look on
Josh's face hurt me! I didn't mean to be short with him. I just don't want
any problems with my dad. I will explain to him tomorrow. I hope I have a
chance to do that.

I looked all over the parking lot and didn't see my dad anywhere. I just
stood there hoping that he got drunk and forgot about wanting to see me
today. Just as I was about to call it, I herd my dad yelling for me. I
looked across the street and there he was. I ran over to him and got into
the truck

While we drove to eat, we talked about the swim team. The minute we got
out, I noticed my dad was walking funny. Right there I knew that he was
drinking before he came to pick me up. Half of my wish came true.

My dad chose Hooters for us to eat dinner. When we walked in, right away he
started poking me to look at one waitress and then another one. He is being
the same old person as he has been all my life. He thinks by taking me out
to a place full of women, and pushing me towards them, I will start to like
them instead of guys. I didn't choose to be gay, so how can I choose to be
straight?

Every time the waitress came up and asked if every thing was ok, my dad
would order another beer. By the time the food arrived at our table, he was
already drunk. I ate as fast as I could. My dad noticed and it seemed to
have gotten him pissed.

"You listen to me fag boy; you will stay here until I finish eating! This
is my time to spend with you and you will stay right there until I am good
and ready for us to leave."

It actually took the waitress refusing to given my dad another beer in
order for us to leave. That just pissed him off even more. Along the way
out my dad would shove me in the back. Yell out slur words as he was doing
it.

I just looked at my father as I stood there in front of his truck. There is
no way I am going to get into the truck with him. He is drunk out of his
mind. My dad noticed and came around towards me.

"You will get your ass in this truck right now if you know what is good for
you!"

"No dad I won't get in the truck. You are drunk and shouldn't be driving!"

I didn't even see my dad raise his hands, but he did and he hit me across
the back of my head. I looked at him with tears starting to roll down my
cheeks.

"You will get your ass in this truck right now or I will give you more then
a smack. And stop that fucking crying!"

"No dad I won't get in the truck!"

Man my head actually hurt from him slapping me. I stood my ground, but I
was no match against my father. He actually picked me up from the ground
and tossed me against the truck. For a drunken guy, he can move pretty
fast. The next thing I knew he was right in front of me jabbing me in my
stomach and chest.

I saw the people sitting at the tables near the window starting to get up
and watch what was unfolding before their eyes. They just watched and did
nothing to help me.

The next thing I knew, my dad picked me up and tossed my head against the
passenger window. I actually cracked his window. I still refused to get in
the truck with him. I tried to walk away, but my dad grabbed a hold of my
neck. As he was pulling me toward the truck, he opened the door and threw
me in. I tried to get my footing! When I did, my dad got into the truck
already and slammed me against the seat.

I didn't even notice when he shut his door or even pulled out of the
parking lot of Hooters. I was already in so much pain from him hitting me
and throwing me around. I just sat up in the seat while my dad continued to
yell, rant and rave.

As I have done million times before, I retreated into my own world. This
time thoughts of Josh came to my mind. How lucky I would be if I did get
him to be my boyfriend. Not only he is hot, but man can he sing.

My dad started hitting me as he was driving. He had to have turned his head
to face me, because I turned to him and yelled at him;

"DAD WATCH OUT!" I screamed.

The last thing that went through my mind as I started flying through the
windshield is Josh standing on the stage singing only to me.

TO BE CONTINUED...



NOTE TO READERS:

{Every time Josh tries to talk with Chris and tell him how he feels
something or someone is always there or comes up! Josh did in a way tell
Chris that he liked him, but still the air isn't clear yet. Josh's mom
seems to think of Josh different then the rest of his brothers. She didn't
even go up and ask Josh if what his brothers told her was true. Instead she
yelled wolf during the call with his father. She was caught with her pants
down. Will Josh's dad finally put his foot down and say enough is
enough. He already has enough on his plate in the desert. Oh man, Elizabeth
is still hanging around and now there is Bernice. The fuse is lit and
there's bound to be a lot of fireworks there. Now I need t talk about poor
Chris. What in the world was the Coach thinking on allowing Chris's dad to
take him alone? Chris always gets beaten by his father and on top of that,
the chapter ending. Did Chris survive or will Josh loose his true love
before it can begin? Man oh man there is so much going on right now, I
wouldn't skip a chapter. So stick around! There is a so much to answer in
the chapters to come. Keep reading the future chapters, and enjoy! Please
email me and let me know how I am doing at jacobmillertex@aol.com, Thanks!}

EDITOR'S CORNER:

It seems our budding author has the makings of a second "hit" forming up
with this story. The feedback from you all is very encouraging.  OK, what
do we do about these cliffhangers ?  Jacob has become a master at finding a
way to end a chapter that makes everyone, even his editor, chomping to get
the next installment !

Child abuse, such as Chris suffers, back in the early 90's wasn't nearly so
much in the public's eye as it is today. The scene in the parking lot
between Chris and his dad would have found the police there in a
flash. There would be twenty 911 calls from cell phones instantly if that
scenario happened today!

Keep us posted with your thoughts, reactions and ideas for the story. This
story is fully fiction and you never know when one of your thoughts or
ideas will become an element of the story. Jacob's first story was based on
his life, so things were "fluffed" here and there to make the story more
enjoyable. This story, however, can change direction at any time and it may
just be your suggestion that does that !  With that said, keep those
e-mails coming! Let us hear from you!

In the mean time, be well, be safe and spread warmth and kindness every
day.


"Daddy" Rick



Cast of Character's:

Daniel Lopez I						Father
    (6'1, 175 lbs., brown eyes, black hair, stocky build, 35 years old)
Martha Lopez						Mother
    (5'6, 145 lbs., green eyes, black long hair, slender, 34 years old)
Daniel Lopez II					First Born
    (5'9, 165 lbs., brown eyes, black hair, muscle build, 17 years old)
Carlos Lopez						Second Born
    (5'8, 163 lbs, light brown eyes, black hair, board shoulders, 16 years old)
Joshua Lopez						Third Born
    (6'0, 155 lbs, brown eyes, black hair, swimmers build, 14 years old)
Brandon Lopez					Fourth Born
    (5'4, 126 lbs, green eyes, dark brown hair, skinny frame, 13 years old)
Eric Martinez						Child Hood Friend
    (5'8, 165 lbs., blue eyes, blonde hair, muscle build, 14 years old)
Chris Jimenez  					Swimming Team Member
    (5'9, 160 lbs., green eyes, light brown hair, swimmers build, 14 years old)
Benjamin Tacked					Friend
Sergio Jimenez					Chris's Dad
Bernice Gomez					Joshua's Girlfriend
Sergio Gomez						Bernice's Father
Elizabeth Salas					Joshua's ex-Girlfriend
Coach Juan Montoya					Swim team Coach
Mrs. Nancy Montoya					Coach's wife
Mr. Becker						Math Teacher
Mrs. Nunez 						Choir Teacher
Mr. Edger						Glee Teacher