Date: Wed, 27 Jul 2005 07:33:51 -0400
From: Vance Lister <vlista20@hotmail.com>
Subject: Shane
Chapter 1
Before he opened his eyes he set his ears on full alert. To his right
and just above was the familiar sound of Austin's distant sounding buzz saw
snoring. 'Austin asleep, check.' he said to himself and preened his ears
in the other direction though difficult to hear much past the buzz saw he
tuned in extra well listening intently picturing it as though his ears were
actually expanding stretching out into a long string that slipped across
his bedroom floor and over under his bedroom door.
He pictured it slithering down the hall like a snake edging it's way
into the kitchen at the end of it. There was drip, drip of sink in the
kitchen that had been leaking as long as he could remember despite his
father's many ranting's that he was gonna get the god damn mother fixed.
His ear stayed there listening for any sounds from the livingroom as even
in his imagination his ear could pass through the kitchen and into the
livingroom.
Not hearing any obvious noises there he retracted it back up the hall
and stopped it at the bathroom across the hall. No sounds there, oh wait?
Was that the toilet flushing or was it just doing it's usual every three
minute fill up. Another god damn mother his father had cursed revenge on.
The toilet like the sink had yet to see his father's vengeance. Deciding it
had to be just running as he heard no retreating foot steps out of the
bathroom he stretched his ear over to his father's door.
The Bear cave itself aptly named by him, as his father was nothing but
an angry old bear. He'd been old in Shane's eyes since Shane's earliest
memories but old in no way meant frail with his father. He was a towering
man of well over six feet tall. Exactly how much older he had no idea and
never got the gumption to ask him though it was really the least of his
concerns as to exactly how tall his father actually was. What mattered
more was the size of his fists and the immense power each of them carried
behind them.
The old bear growled like any angry old bear you'd come across in the
forest especially if you had just stolen a hunk of raw meat out of any wild
bears mouth. He did not know why his father was always so angry he figured
it may have something to do with having no wife. Something Shane himself
was held personally responsible for since she was alive only long enough
after his birth to give him his name.
He had heard the story once or twice usually while the bear was
reiterating it to someone else. How the 'kid' as he was referred to by the
bear had ripped some vital organ in his mother and after he had come out
blood had poured out so hard and so fast that before the doctors could find
out what it was she was gone. Gone as in dead, final that was it.
He certainly had never intended to kill his own mother and had no
memories of his own of her or her death but figured it had to be his fault
not only from what he'd been told over the years but he was the one in the
area in question moments before her demise.
Austin his older brother the buzz saw snorer whom Shane had aptly
named Buzz, never to his face of course, also held him personally
responsible for the needless death of their mother. He creaked open an eye
and looked over at the bed tall and white like a cloud of softness his back
was just aching to lay on.
It was less then three weeks away the event that would get his brother
out of the house and more comforting out of this bedroom where he after ten
years of sleeping on the not so plush carpet would have that bed. Buzz had
landed himself a woman they'd actually been dating for years and in three
weeks they would tie the proverbial knot and Buzz would be the hell out of
his life. He wanted to tell this woman that Buzz was a homo, he knew this
because Buzz liked to have sex with boys and he knew this cause he was the
boy Buzz was so into having sex with.
If you could even call what Buzz did as sex, sex he assumed was not
the violent act he was subjected to a few times a week. Sex he thought was
something two willing partners did to consummate their love for each other
in a passionate and gentle way. Not beating someone up ripping their
clothes off and jamming it in just as hard as they could.
Shane could not deny that he was a homo himself he wasn't sure if
maybe it was just cause girls scared the hell out of him or just because he
had definite attractions to guys two in particular from school that made
him tingle in his nether regions whenever their faces or bodies could be
spotted in the halls, cafeteria or classrooms.
Not that guys didn't scare the hell out of him too, fact was he hadn't
gotten to know either sex that well he was basing his homo decision on
physical attraction alone. He fantasized about men, being in bed with them
and doing every thing that Buzz did to him only with much less pain
involved. And kissing of course Buzz did not kiss him he was more of a lip
smacker (with his hand not lips) then a lip kisser, with him anyways, cause
there were many nights that he and his girlfriend well, now fiancee, were
groping and kissing on the couch when he got home.
He lifted his head off his back pack which served as a pillow at night
and rubbed at his jaw that sort of screamed at him in pain the minute it
was lifted off the pack. Shane rubbed at it in confusion not remembering
being hit there then rubbed at the bag where his jaw had been and realized
the cause of the discomfort. One of the baseballs he'd found over the
years had been his jaws place of rest through the night. One that may not
be painful if it were pressed against for say an hour but after six it
would tend to take it's toll.
He sat up and stretched his arms out making sure not to make any moans
of pleasure sounds as his muscles reveled in the stretch. He got up on his
knees and peeked over Buzz's bed, his future bed, to the alarm clock
shining it's large red numbers through the room. Four fifty five. If he
left right away he'd be at the school by five fifteen and have a full hour
in the weight room before the jocks showed up.
He looked down at his arms as he brought them back down from their
stretch and poked at his bicep which three weeks ago was nothing but a
slight bulge on his arm that held not definition whatsoever. But today he
was sure there was some definition there just had to be. He hated lifting
weights but the worse of those two evils was being the puny shapeless wimp
that he currently was.
He'd heard some girls talking once, there were three or four of them
and they were sitting at the table in the cafeteria at the time. He'd
heard them rating guys and tuned in his flexible ears discreetly wanting to
give his own scores if only to himself on his fellow classmates. The
scores were one to ten with ten being the ultimate hunkiest.
They picked a guy luckily naming him so Shane would know who they were
rating tell his good qualities and bad then give the over all esteemed or
sometimes not so esteemed rating. His own name had come up in the polls
and though he'd wanted to run from the cafeteria then hear what anyone
thought of him he stayed. And was glad he had. One of the girls whose
name he thought was Candy like the bar whom he aptly named Krackel cause
she had a numerous amount of zits on her otherwise attractive face. She
had said he had a very cute face that he only needed to bulk up and could
reach the ultimate ten level. When the other girls all agreed he'd nearly
choked on his pizza thinking poor old Krackel was gonna get beat up and
shunned herself for even making such and observation.
They'd made more comments about his anti social ness and weird
clothes, which Shane didn't really consider weird just way too big as they
were hand me downs from Buzz. Ones Buzz no longer cared to wear and gave
to Shane like he were giving him some prize with a value of up to a million
dollars.
A couple of the girls had even stuck up for him about his anti social
also and stated in that conversation somewhat weird behavior. They had
said he was only anti social cause no one talked to him. Which was true
other then when he was being teased.
It had taken him months after tuning in on that cafeteria conversation
that he worked up the nerve to actually start working out. It was not even
because he wanted to be a ten on their list. It was because he'd wanted to
be able to defend himself. Not against his father the bear or even buzz
the brother. He was too scared of those two to ever fight back and he knew
that without even trying. It was the ass holes at school the afore
mentioned jocks that he had to hide from and beat to the weight room every
morning. The jocks who loved to knock him around and humiliate him in
front of the school. His biggest fantasy was to one day stand up in the
middle of one of their attacks and beat the hell out of them all.
He looked from his some what defined muscle down to the worn greenish
yellow carpet and shook his head knowing deep down that he would be to
scared to ever do that too. Maybe just the fact he could if he wanted to
would help.
Maybe that's why he pulled himself up off the floor stuffed his bag
with a change of clothes and opened the bedroom door. He strained his ears
out again hearing nothing but the run of the toilet and the drip of the
sink he crept out into the hall. He took each step tentatively figuring he
must look like someone dodging his feet between a floor full of mousetraps.
It could undoubtedly turn out as bad for him as it would a mouse getting
caught in one if the creaking floor woke up the bear.
He was guided by the light of the stove clock through the kitchen and
to the front door, if trailers even had a front and back doors. He eased
it open holding his breath as if that may reduce the sound of the creaky
old door which made even more noise then the creaky old floor.
He stepped out onto the splitting and rotting in some places front
steps which he half expected any day now to fall right down through.
Though he figured Buzz or the Bear would be more apt to as Buzz outweighed
him roughly by fifty pounds to his estimate and the bear well he was a good
hundred pounds heavier.
He eased the door closed tightening his very worn out but very
comfortable tan corduroy jacket, that used to be buzz's, around his chest
and neck he held it there as the zipper had long ago stopped working.
The morning was one of those cold morning that made your nostrils
freeze shut typical for the 3rd day in January the third day of the year
and the first day of the new term at school. He adjusted the pack on his
back the contents of it making a racket that made him look down the trailer
to make sure no lights would come on. He tucked his freezing hands up
under his arm pits then took off down the stairs and out of the trailer
park where all the trailers looked as run down and shabby as the one he'd
just come out of.
He stopped for a moment at the first trailer you would pass if you
were coming into the park and patted Old Shep, shep was a Shepard he had no
idea of it's real name but had named him with his own name like he did
everyone he came across hence, Buzz the Bear and Krackel. Old Shep greeted
him every morning with a how do you do jump on and a big lick down the side
of his face. Had he not been chained to the end of the trailer Shane would
have coaxed him to follow him to school each morning for sure protection
against the bullies.
"I gotta go to school again," He said scratching at the back of the
dog's ears. "Make sure you remember the routine just in case." They had
not used the routine in years. The routine was needed back when he was in
grade school and the bullies went as far as to chase him home to beat the
crap out of him. Shane instead of going to his own trailer would run into
this yard and over to Old Shep's dog house which Shep would not let any of
the other boys get anywhere near. Perhaps that was why they had stopped
chasing him home. Perhaps it was Old Shep himself that had saved him from
that particular torture.
He leaned over and kissed the top of Shep's head thanked him for his
saving grace then left the trailer park. He walked East towards town and
the school which was just under a mile away. The trailer park was actually
in town just not the more built up section of it.
The built up section was not really even built up, not like New York
City more like a city you would see in and Old western movie. One main
street with a post office, bank, the school and police station. There was
a grocery store off this main street and a few small department type stores
as well. The most populated section of the town was the waterfront that
was out past the school where main street came to an abrupt end and the
ocean began.
Prescott Cove Rhode Island was the epitome of the small surviving by
the skin of it's teeth fishing town. His own father the bear was a fisher
man. His boat well the one he worked on, was at dock at this particular
time it went out three days a week. Was gone those entire three days and
three nights. Days and nights that Shane could breathe a little easier
with only Buzz to watch his back from. And in three weeks he would have
that house and that bed all to himself for three whole days a week.
That would be his Christmas present this year. Buzz and the Bear
didn't know it but they had given him one, something they would never
willingly do. He walked up the steps to the school just as Joel the
ancient custodian was unlocking the door. The man could barely stand up
straight but still managed to keep the small school of less then a hundred
kids in tip top sparkling shape.
"Good morning Mr. Campbell." Joel said smiling down at Shane with his
missing tooth right there in the front grin. The man referred to everyone
by their last name for whatever reason Shane did not know and did not care.
He actually liked this particular person very much.
"Good morning." He smiled back though many possible nick names for
this man had floated through his head over the years none of them were used
as Shane reserved his nick names for the people he did not like. Which
meant very few people at this school did not have a nick name. The only
other one was the principal who made a point to greet him every day at some
point during the day with big smile.
He followed Joel into the school and squinted as Joel turned on the
lights and the one long hall of the school was illuminated with blinding
white light reflecting off the white floors white walls and light brown
lockers. They were in the middle of said hallway now with class room and
office doors lining it on either side. While the cafeteria stood a one end
and the gymnasium home of the famed Prescott Cove Marlins at the other.
The school boasted nothing but it's basket ball and football teams
which were all the same people as those who played football were all the
same ones that played basketball. They were the only two teams the small
school had but kicked Butt in both sports not that Shane had ever actually
gone to a game to see that but it was hard not to know with all the damn
pep rallies and banners hanging everywhere. He walked down to the
gymnasium which was a beautiful room actually with well varnished hard wood
floors and bleachers. It was the only room in the school that looked nice
since all the money raised and received in grants pretty much went to the
athletics.
The teachers themselves were even low class normally kids that had
recently graduated gone to two years of community college and came back and
taught their lack of knowledge to the kids that had no choice but to still
be there.
He walked through the gym and into the door to the left of it's far
side which was the door to the boys locker room. He set his book bag down
briefly after making sure the room was empty and rummaged through his
locker for the old pair of grey sweat pants and off white, used to be
white, T-shirt. He stripped off his clothes after doing another check for
no other people and slipped the sweat pants and T-shirt on.
He put his sneakers back on and retied the laces then picked his book
bag back up and went through a door in the middle of the locker room and
into the weight room that was in between the boys and girls locker rooms.
Being the first one in the school besides Joel every morning for the past
three weeks he had snuck over to the girls locker room one morning. Though
he shouldn't have been surprised he was to see it half the size of the boys
and a lot more run down.
The boys locker room looked like one you would see in professional
sports. It was freshly painted every summer and the lockers had been
replaced two years earlier and were still gleaming in their school colors
of green and white. He set his bag down by the first machine what he
called the 'I surrender' cause your arms were up in that position while you
used it. He reduced the weight by four bars as obviously some jock had
used it last.
He spent ten minutes on each of the six weight machines in the room.
All of them connected so you basically went around in a rectangle to get to
each apparatus that protruded from it. This was his routine every school
morning all he really had time for so he could get a shower in before the
jocks showed up.
He picked his pack back up off the floor and returned to the locker
room he took his, not so clean but cleaner then the ones he had slept in
clothes, out of the bag and a towel out of his locker. He walked over to
the showers which ran in a circle kinda like a circus tent with V shaped
showers coming off it's center.
He pulled the curtain back on one of the showers and hung his book bag
from the shower spigot. He had been relieved to see on his first shower
there that it would not get wet hanging from the back of the metal pipe
that held the spigot at the end. His book bag if not on his shoulder was
always within a foot of him. It held his most prized possessions ones he
had to keep with him at all times so they did not get stolen or destroyed
by the bear, Buzz or any deviant bully at school. He was always collecting
more things for his bag but still had not yet filled it. Thus far it
contained things of interest either found in the park, on the streets on
the rocky beach near the wharfs or around the school. One thing his most
prized possession he had stolen out of the great old bear's cave itself.
Something he felt he had a right to have and something his father had
plenty of. That, the picture of his mother was tucked away safely in the
front pocket so as not to get crushed by the balls, rocks and shells that
filled the large back pocket of the bag.
He hung the towel over the shower curtain rod then peeled off his work
out clothes and threw them out on the bench just outside the shower door.
He peeked through the curtain and over at the clock that hung above the
door out to the gym. He saw he had a good ten minutes before the Jocks
would start to show up giving him a good five minutes in the shower.
He turned the water on full blast it being the only water currently
running in the school by chance the pressure was good and strong. Each
shower stall came equipped with a soap dispenser and Shane got his hands
good and full of soap then scrubbed it all over his hair and body wincing
slightly as he passed over bruises received in a confrontation with the old
bear the previous night.
One brought on by Austin, the Buzz, who seemed to really enjoy
watching the bear maul Shane. His beatings most always resulted from
something Buzz accused him of like in last nights case it was not taking
out the trash, something he did do but Buzz brought the bags in right
before the bear got home from the docks. When the boat was not out the
bear still worked he just came home at night around five unless he stopped
off at the old saloon aptly named by Shane cause, well, it just fit with
the town.
He shut the shower off four minutes later quickly dried himself off
with the towel then pulled his not so clean clothes on. He smelled the
pits and shrugged figuring it wasn't so bad he would be wearing his jacket
anyways. He slipped on his socks and shoes then sat down bringing each
foot in turn up onto the bench with him he tied them real tight hoping it
would help reduce the smell emitted by his dirty socks from escaping out of
the shoe.
He knew he would have to spend the afternoon looking for bottles cans
and change so he could do a load of laundry as he was really starting to
reek since it had been two weeks since he'd last scraped up enough money.
Something he also kept in the more protected front pocket of his back pack.
He had so far if he remembered correctly about two dollars meaning he
needed two more. He'd chanced sneaking his laundry in with Buzz's one time
and was taught such a painful lesson he would never take that particular
chance again.
He grabbed his bag and walked back to his locker shoving the work out
clothes back in figuring if he got enough money that night he'd come back
for these clothes. He walked over to the sinks where there were three
propped on the wall side by side below a long mirror. He set his bag down
on the edge of one and rummaged through it for his tooth brush and
toothpaste which could be kept at home with little chance of it being
stolen. Problem was to take that time in the bathroom meant more time and
noise that could un-hibernate the bear. And there was the toothbrush
incident of a few years back where Buzz had cleaned the toilet with another
one he had, had and of course not told him til he had used it for a week.
He was given a tooth brush and toothpaste every year when the roaming
dentist spent a week at the school giving free check ups and giving out
tooth paste and tooth brushes. He hated that dentist aptly named stink
fingers but did really appreciate the free goods which he doubted he would
have otherwise.
He squeezed a large amount of the paste onto his brush after rinsing
some sand from it then rinsed the brush again and scrubbed away at his
teeth. His brush froze mid motion across his back teeth when he heard the
locker room door open. He muttered a 'fuck' to himself realizing he'd
dawdled just a bit too long, hearing a couple of the jocks mindless
jabbering of the piece of whichever girl they got the night before.
He did one last quick swipe of his teeth rinsed out the brush and
jammed that and the paste back in his bag quickly zipping the bag before
any wandering eyes could see it's contents.
He swung it over his shoulder and walked out of the little sink alcove
where their eyes immediately fell on him and narrowed to small evil slits.
"What did we tell you about using our locker room runt?" Bart Knowlton
jeered smacking a fist into the palm of his other stretched out hand. Bart
was the king of jocks, he was usually surrounded by a large group of
jockettes which were nothing more then what a groupie is to a rock band.
Course in the early morning in the boy's locker room they were no where
around.
Shane tightened his grip on the shoulder strap of his bag and
swallowed hard not seeing any easy way out of this one. He was not even
sure why he was trying to come up with some excuse he knew he was in for
either way.
Bart adShaned on him and Shane took a side step moving him one foot
closer to the door which was in turn blocked off by Rodney Bardeaux whom
Shane had aptly named pick cause he had caught him digging up into his nose
on more then one occasion.
"Just let me be." Shane spoke out knowing the plea was futile. "I
promise I won't do it again." that was an outright lie what he was really
promising was that he would not get caught again as he'd already decided to
do 8 reps instead of ten on each machine from then on.
"You promised that before." Bart adShaned another step retreating
Shane back one more where he came to a dead stop against the cool cement
wall that if he had not been so panicked would have enjoyed against his
bruised and aching back. "Seems you need to be taught not to come in here.
Seems you don't learn a lesson by it just being verbalized." He adShaned
again this time less then an arm's length form Shane.
Shane's eyes darted past Bart to the door that led into the weight
room he considered taking that door going through the weight room and into
the girls locker room to get away but rescinded that thought quickly
preferring to get this done with here and now then perhaps in the cafeteria
with the whole school watching.
Bart's fist lashed out and caught him in the side of the jaw which
would have made Shane stumble back had he already not been up against a
wall instead it only sent the back of his head smashing into the cement
wall sending as much pain through that area as Bart's fist had sent to his
jaw.
This pain was taken over immensely by Bart's knee making direct
contact with his groin causing his knees to buckle and his arms to
reflexively cover the afflicted area. He let out a small whimper going
down wishing Old Shep to burst through the locker room door and grab onto
Bart's throat tearing the damn thing right out to leave bloody veins and a
larynx or whatever hanging out through the gaping hole.
Bart's fist made another contact with the side of his face just above
the burning jaw sending one arm out away from his privates to catch himself
from being knocked right over onto the floor.
Tears burned in his eyes not from the pain but from the shame he felt
at just kneeling there letting this happen to him for maybe the thousandth
time. He saw the fist come at him again out of his tear blurred eyes he
quickly turned his head to one side to dodge it but suddenly it stopped.
He turned his head back then up to see Bart's arm being held back by Derek
Kirk aptly named by Shane as the stud as that was exactly what he was in
Shane's eyes, Derek the stud, was one of the two people that made him sure
he was gay. He was not king jock not the hottest guy in school but he had
stuck up for Shane more then once. That in itself had turned Shane onto
the guy and his looks were far from repelling he had a flock of his own
Jockettes as a matter of fact which pretty much ensured Shane was not the
only one who found him mysteriously attractive.
"Why you gotta be such an ass Bart?" he heard the stud say in his less
then perfect English which was another reason Shane was attracted to him.
He had a thing for dumb guys which the Stud displayed on a daily basis in
class. The stud was seventeen and if kept in his own class would be a
senior but through the years he had been held back twice for his not so
smart brain.
"He was using our locker room again." Bart was still trying to free
his arm from the Stud's grasp. Shane figuring he'd better get out of there
before he got free slowly got to his feet his bang in the head making him a
little dizzy it was not such an easy task.
"So what?" Stud said back. "He's like a rodent you leave him alone
and he'll leave you alone."
Shane got to his feet and chanced a quick glance at the Stud who was
not looking back at him. Despite wanting to stick around and hearing more
flattering compliments or rather look hornily at the Stud he scuttled over
past Pick and out the locker room door. He knew the danger was not over
that Bart would finish what he started as soon as Derek was no longer
around.
He could almost sense breakfast coming from the cafeteria and his
problems with Bart were forgotten. The school being in a very poor
district offered free breakfast to all it's students. Lunch was a
different story but Shane still got free lunch based soley on his address
as his father the Bear had never bothered to fill out any required
paperwork. So for Shane that meant two solid meals a day. Something he
did not have up until high school when the free breakfast program went into
effect.
His pain nearly forgotten in his quest for food that he'd had very
little of in the last week of vacation he headed down the long white hall
to the cafeteria at the other end which already had a couple other hungry
students there that morning. He walked through the 20 or so round tables
surrounded by the school color green chairs. Something he figured was
pretty corny but given where he was it fit right in.
He walked up to the table filled with fruit, cereal boxes, pints of
milk, bottles of juice and bowls and spoons. He grabbed a bowl and spoon
his usual box of honey nut Cheerios a pint of milk and a banana then went
over and sat at his usual table which he solely occupied at breakfast and
lunch. Being his table it had been written on by many other students
stating his many less endearing qualities and titles. Scrawled most
predominantly on the table that was contact papered to look like some dark
wood in black indelible magic marker were the words Fag's table.
That was one of the few things on the table that was actually spelled
correctly. For instance written in what may have been red ink was the word
homosexuals spelt out homasexules. No one based that on anything.
Homosexual was just a derogatory term at Prescott Cove high. He had hidden
his sexual preferences very well and did not really think any one was on to
him.
There was also a rather crudely drawn picture of two men fucking
doggie style the one on the bottom being rammed with perhaps the biggest
dick ever proportionateley. He barely admitted it to himself but he found
the picture strangely erotic despite it's cartoonesque appearance the event
depicted in it was arousing to him.
He put the cereal in the bowl and broke the banana up over it then
drowned the whole thing in milk. He reached into his book bag which he had
set beside him in the next chair then pulled the chair closer and pulled
out his current English book which was a very worn out copy of Romeo and
Juliet a book that he was really enjoying and for fun renamed as Romeo and
Julien changing her name to that mannish name every time he came across it
in the book.
English was the only class he liked and the only class he got above a
C or D in every quarter. He cared very little about learning long
equations or learning the table of elements he got bored long before he
learned much and always tossed those books aside. His English books
however seemed to absorb him into their worlds they were not all pretty but
most all of them were better then his world with the exceptions of the
world of Night by Eli Weisel and The Diary of Anne Frank.
By the time he finished his breakfast the cafeteria was swarming with
people he took his bowl and spoon up to the counter then left the room. He
went to his locker which also said fag on it. Most of the lockers were
kept sealed with padlocks but he had no money for one and always opened his
locker carefully never knowing what someone may have put there since he'd
last opened it.
This morning it was clear just full of balled up papers books and
notebooks. After grabbing his books for his first two classes, History and
Algebra he walked into his first class and sat down as usual being the
first one there.
The morning's classes went smoothly with out any sight of Bart.
Shortly after sitting down to his 'fag table' at lunch though Bart and Pick
showed up. He was just lifting a fork ful of chop suey to his mouth when
his tray was pushed abruptly sending it flying right off the table.
He quickly put the spoon in his mouth wanting to get at least that in
before it was thrown into the wall as well as he knew he would get no food
once he got home. His next meal would not be until the next morning's free
breakfast. He knew it made him look ridiculous to have to get that bite in
but had to think on his own survival over his public image which as far as
he was concerned would never change.
He pulled the spoon out just in time to avoid permanent maiming as
Bart latched onto the back of his head and slammed it down into the table
which had the spoon still been there would have sent it right out through
the back of his throat. When he lifted his throbbing face back up off the
table the neighboring tables were mostly laughing at him but Bart to his
great relief was nowhere in sight.
The rest of the afternoon went downhill from there. With the last and
most tragic event of that school day rearing it's ugly head in last period
his least favorite class, Chemistry.
Mrs. Narchek who he named bitch just cause she was one, eyed him
evilly from the moment he walked in the door. She hated him he figured
cause she had been dumb enough to date his father for a short spell. Shane
would not have known this at all if it hadn't been for her sudden hatred of
him after they'd broke up and constantly telling him he was no better then
his drunken father. The bear was a drunk but Shane himself had yet to
taste one drop of this illicit liquid.
He had come to surmise after that and a few other comments that they
had dated and however they had broken up was not very pleasant. He took
his seat which was just about the middle of the class yet off to one side
behind one of the long tables with a black weird sort of rubbery type top
that if pressed hard enough actually would hold the indent for a full
minute after the pressure was removed something he himself had timed with
the aid of the clock with a second hand on the wall.
The class all arrived and she closed the door Shane was not alone at
this table he shared it with a girl who he called peanut cause she was half
the size of him and he was pretty damn small. The girl was actually pretty
nice to him in those times they had to converse as they were lab partners.
Ahead of them the reason for his choosing this particular seat was the Stud
sitting in front of peanut next to a sophomore Jock.
From this angle he could look directly at The stud all class and
everyone would just assume he was looking over his head at the teacher who
lectured in the exact same spot between the two rows of tables each and
every day. While only wandering away from it long enough to write something
on the board or humiliate some withering student into oblivion. The Bitch
did not single her hatred power out on him. Everyone in her class could
fall victim to it at any given moment. Many kids had fled her room over
the years with tears streaking down their faces.
Rumor had it one kid who would now be about five hundred if all the
rumors were added up was up in the state hospital after one of her
beratings.
He did not find it at all odd that the bitch ended up with the bear
for no matter how brief a spell as far as he was concerned they were
perfect for each other. It only saved some poor unsuspecting nice man from
going out with her. He put his elbow up on the table and rested his ear
down onto it ready for the forty five minutes of sight seeing.
He didn't get to do that long before the bitch was looming over him
with a pile of reports in her hand that had been handed in the day before
Christmas break. She was about halfway through passing them out and
apparently was up to his. "Shane Campbell, the world's most inept
student."
The whole class chuckled which was allowed only in her beratings while
Shane lifted his head off his hand swallowed hard and looked up at her.
"I'd think since you've got no friends you'd find time to put some
effort into your studies."
He swallowed hard again and chanced a quick glance around the room
seeing what he already knew that every eye was on him. Even the stud whom
he didn't figure would save him this time as he'd endured too many of her
beratings to open himself up for one more.
While he was chancing his glance she snatched his book bag out from
between his arms. Panicking he reached out right after it and tried to
grab it back. She pulled it way out of his arms reach and he contemplated
standing right up and grabbing it but did not figure she would actually do
what she did next.
She unzipped it in a flash. "Let's just see what you got in here since
it's obvious you don't use it for books."
Shane nearly fell off his stool from shock as she tipped it upside
down dropping out his baseballs, tennis balls, shells, cans to be redeemed,
and dozens of small little trinkets kids had probably bought out of gum
ball machines then lost at one place or another over the town that Shane
had come across and added to his collection. He never played with any of
these things he just liked to have them, liked to be able to say he had
some belongings.
The class erupted in laughter at all his prized possessions his face
turned red in embarrassment and his eyes filled with tears from his shame
and hurt at everyone seeing his collection then everyone finding all his
things so damn funny. He whimpered slightly then hurriedly started
gathering up his things looking like maybe someone picking up spilt change
on the street hurrying real fast before a car came along.
He was so intent of getting his things gathered and hidden he did not
see or hear the front pocket of the bag being opened. The class around him
filled with rejuvenated laughter and he glanced up at them quickly while
still scurrying to get his things gathered his eyes wet from tears and wide
from panicked humiliation.
He saw through his panic that they were not looking at him but past
him and above his head. He turned to the bitch and saw hanging from one
hand his picture of his mother and the other a page ripped from a magazine
of his dream guy a boy maybe eighteen with no shirt and a wash board chest
and stomach with shorts so low you could see the well defined muscles that
led down to his pelvis and disappeared down the shorts just past a small
outcropping of dark very curly pubic hair.
He gasped seeing it all rational thinking suddenly gone. He knew only
one thought and that was to get his pictures out of everyone's public view.
He shot up from his chair his other belongings forgotten as his most
valuable possessions were now at stake. He latched onto both pictures and
yanked them down out of her hands. The magazine page ripped between his
and the teachers hand while the picture of his mom thank god remained in
tact.
He jammed the picture of his mother in his jacket pocket then glared
back up at the bitch who had an immeasurable amount of satisfaction on her
face. A look he needed to get off. Before thinking anything through he
drew back his arm and brought the flat of his hand sailing forward slapping
her so hard on the side of the face she jolted backwards and leaving his
hand stinging. In the time it took her to regain some sense of composure
he retook possession of his bag held it below the desk and swept his
possessions off the desk getting most of them into the bag.
He started to bend down to pick up the rolling away balls but was
hauled back up by the bitches iron grasp on his elbow. He caught sight of
the class staring at him in a sort of awed shocked silence like how
everyone had looked back when they had been in the eighth grade and all
watched the space shuttle blow up together in class. Their mouths were
hanging open and they were looking at him the same way they had looked at
the TV that day as Miss Narchek dragged him by the elbow out of the room.
She slammed the door behind them so loud Shane glanced back expecting
to see the glass window that took up a good portion of the top half of the
door shattering into thousands of pieces.
His book bag not yet zipped was dragging along behind them on the
floor in the fast pace he had to use to keep up with his trapped elbow he
could not muster the coordination it took to pull the bag up and zip it.
So instead he kept a close eye on it making sure nothing spilled out. He
stumbled several times and thought he would lose his arm altogether as she
kept on dragging him til he regained his footing.
He imagined the class was already abuzz with the actual knowledge they
all now contained that he really was gay. He saw no way to explain the
picture and knew even if he did come up with a good lie no one would listen
to it or believe it. He looked from his bag up to the bitch whose face was
not only red from where he'd slapped her which he as of yet felt in no way
bad about but also from her anger which was evident in her flared nostrils
and straight line set jaw. She was apparently so mad she'd not even come
up with any more ways to berate him as she dragged him closer and closer to
the principals office where he had no idea what fate would await him.
Hitting a teacher as far as he knew had not yet been done if it had there
were no survivors to pass on the tale.
He was slammed into a chair by the shoulders in the principals outer
realm where two secretaries looked up from their keyboards to eye him
grimacing from where he was smashed into the chair. With out any word to
anyone the bitch walked right into the inner sanctum and slammed that door
just as loudly as she had her classroom door.
Shane shrunk down in his seat his anger being replaced with fear as he
heard her screaming very audibly through the closed door.
"That god damn son of a bitch slapped me. I want him out of this damn
school little hoodlum will never amount to a thing anyways."
He could hear the quiet murmur of a response from the principal none
of which he could make out then her much quieter voice responding again
with nothing able to be deciphered there either.
One of the secretaries the nicer of the two stood up from her desk and
walked over to him. "Are you alright Shane?"
Shane looked up at her from his cowered down position in the chair and
detected a look of concern in her eyes. Why she would suddenly be
concerned for him he had no idea but he was in no mood for anyone's concern
or fake kindness towards him. He should have figured that would be the way
people would start actually caring about him would be probably...he looked
past her and checked the clock, one maybe two hours before his death. He
didn't figure the principal would kill him but was quite sure the Bear's
mauling would be fatal that afternoon.
The door to the inner sanctum opened and his attention was diverted
from the clock to the bitch who sneered evilly at him as she stormed out of
outer realm he looked back at the door where Principal Donald Mason was
eyeing him in a mixed sort of look of disbelief and disappointment.
A look Shane took much more to heart then any of the other hundreds of
dirty looks he got in a day because this man he liked. This man he
actually cared about what his opinion of him might be.
Mr. Mason held up a hand then a finger moving it back and forth
motioned Shane into his office. Shane shakily stood from the chair keeping
the back of his knees against it as he shimmied between it and the
secretary that was still giving him that weird look then turned his body
towards the inner sanctum and walked in. He'd only been in the office a
few times and never because he'd actually done anything wrong. Usually it
was the result of a teacher pulling some bully off him then dragging both
he and the bully to the office where Shane got to hear exactly what he'd
done which were usually very creative lies to cause the latest attack.
The principal never seemed to believe any of these creative tales and
that was just one more reason he liked this man. "Have a seat Shane." He
said motioning to one of the two wooden chairs that looked more like chairs
you would see around a well to do families diningroom table then ones you
would see in a principals office.
Shane sat down in the one nearest to him planted his feet and knees
firmly together and placed his hands flat out on his thighs. He watched
Mr. Mason out of the corner of his eye, round his desk and sit down in his
own wooden chair this one having wheels on the bottom of it that squeaked
as he pushed himself up behind his desk.
"What happened?"
Shane looked up at him directly to see his elbows up on the desk and
his chin resting on his hand while his finger tapped rhythmically at his
cheek. "I slapped Mrs. Narchek." He said quietly figuring there was no use
denying it as he'd heard that part of their conversation and he was not
about to reveal the actual event of ripping the picture of his fantasy
boyfriend was what set him off.
"What happened though Shane? I don't suspect you just walked up to
her and slapped her why did you do it?"
Shane pulled his bag up into his lap and held it tightly between his
hands. "She took this." He said looking down at it. "She opened it up and
dumped it all over my desk." Tears sprung back to his eyes the whole event
humiliating him to the very core making him and his secret world feel
totally exposed to all the very mean people he faced day after day.
"What's in that bag Shane?" Don Mason asked knowing just by the way
Shane was with the bag that it had to be something quite special to him.
Not wanting to expose himself to anyone else that day Shane closed his
eyes and shook his head all the while holding the bag tighter against his
chest so this time it would not be pulled away. He did not even dare move
an arm away long enough to wipe his cheeks that were wet with hot tears.
"I have to call your dad Shane. It is never acceptable to strike a
teacher no matter what the reason."
He nodded already having figured this though it did little to keep the
wave of terror at bay at just hearing the actual words spoke out loud.
"I am also suspending you for the rest of the week. You will not be
allowed back til next Monday."
He nodded again holding his jaw tightly in place to not cry out and
start begging this man for a pardon as the seconds ticked closer to his own
execution.
"You can wait in the outer office for your dad to come and get you."
Shane's eyes popped open. "I can walk I'll go straight home I
promise."
"Sorry," Mr. Mason said shaking his head. "I want to talk to him, he
needs to come and pick you up."
Shane stood from the chair with the help of one hand his legs to shaky
to pull the feat off on their own. He sat in the outer sanctum literally
shaking from head to toe. Long after the bell rang and dismissed school
for the day his father stormed into the office gave him a severing look and
was ushered into Mr. Mason's office.
His shaking only got worse from that point on and the secretary with
the fake concern asked him twice more if he was okay. He did not have it
in him to give her any answer his fear was too great right then. He
wouldn't have put it past himself to blubber out everything that he had
kept a secret so long. From his father's continual physical abuse to his
constant verbal abuse to his brother's physical, verbal and sexual abuse.
He had no doubt it was all abuse his only doubt was whether he deserved it
or not.
His father stormed out of the principal's office ten minutes later
snatched Shane up by the hair and half pushed him half dragged him out of
the school where he shoved him roughly up into the truck Shane had aptly
named the old rust bucket. It was a twenty year old ford pickup that in
it's hey day was green like the school colors but was now more rust red
then anything else only small patches of the deep green could still be seen
in the dense rust.
The bear stomped around the truck as Shane watched seeing the bear
growling out some words his red face contorted in rage. He lumbered up
into the drivers seat which was the same seat Shane was on as it was a
bench seat. The seat trounced up and down as he sat on it as well as the
rest of the truck which Shane assumed had no shocks at all left it as
riding in the thing was like riding down a rock canyon on a metal wheel.
He slammed the door loudly causing Shane to jump even before his fist
shot out and caught him on the same side of the face that Bart's fist had
nailed that morning. He did not speak until the old Rust bucket roared to
life sounding like a mix between a outboard motor and someone firing off
several shot guns at the same time.
It backfired three times on it's voyage out of the parking lot but
Shane had no trouble hearing his father's very loud and angry voice over
the ear splitting noise of the truck.
"What the hell were you thinking you God Damned No brain fuck." he
shot his fist out again sending Shane's head smashing into the side window.
"You wait you worthless pile of shit. You are gonna feel damn lucky you
got a week off from school cause after I get through hiding your ass you
ain't gonna be able to sit down for a week. And you won't get the chance.
You will work with me on the docks from sun up til sun down and when we go
out on Friday I will leave a list of chores for you so big you won't have
time to do anything else. If they are not done when I get home on Monday I
will hide your ass again." The rest of the five minute trip home Shane was
punched at least ten times from his stomach all the way up to his face.
He knew the worst was yet to come, his father's hiding's were just
that. He had no doubt in the fact he would not sit for a week as it took
nearly that long for his ass to scab over and that didn't take into
consideration the bruises that would keep it still tender for a good week
after the first week.
He parked the rust bucket in the driveway that was pretty much exactly
the same length and width as the truck. Shane got out and his father was
immediately on him grabbing him by the hair again he dragged him up into
the trailer with the one hand while undoing his belt with the other.
"Take off your pants!" the bear ordered after shoving Shane halfway
across the room. Shane did as he was told tears of dread coursing down his
cheeks as he kicked his pants off one leg at a time. He was taken by the
hair again and led into his father's room the old bear cave itself the cave
he was only allowed in for a good hiding.
He was pushed down onto the bed face first the bear grabbed one of his
arms and stretched it up to the bedpost he pulled a nylon strap out from
under the mattress and secured Shane's trembling wrist tightly to the bed
post with the strap. He then grabbed an ankle and strapped it with another
nylon strap to the bottom post then walked along the bottom of the queen
size bed dragging another ankle along with him leaving Shane full spread
eagled while his other ankle was tied to the opposite post. Last to get
tied up was his right wrist which he had to let happen there was no point
in fighting it there never was.
He buried his face in between the two pillows at the head of the bed
feeling the cold breeze coming from the badly insulated tin walls of the
shack they lived in. It danced along his legs, ass and extremely exposed
crotch bringing up goose pimples that inevitably any moment now would be
beaten back down. The bear grabbed his shirt bottom and yarned it up
roughly over his back bunching it up at his neck.
He heard the belt snap against itself a few times something the bear
seemed to do to what? Prime it? Intimidate him more? He never knew but
the bear always did it.
Donald Mason walked out of his office shortly after Shane's father
Roger Campbell left with Shane and walked down to the gymnasium where
basketball practice was well under way. Rick Sumner the coach saw him walk
in and walked over to him. "What's up?" He asked in his usual laid back
greeting.
"I need to talk to Derek for a minute, do you mind?"
"No, not at all he knows these drills." He put his whistle to his
mouth and blew and just as though he'd pressed a button on a VCR everyone
in the gym paused and looked over at him. "Derek," He said waving him
over. "Principal needs to see you."
Derek who currently had the ball in hand bounced it over to Rodney and
followed the principal out of the gym and back to his office. He sat in
the same seat Shane had an hour before while the principal retook his seat
behind the desk.
"I want you to tell me exactly what happened in Chemistry class this
after noon."
Derek's eyes widened. "That god damn bitch..."
Mr. Mason held up his hand. "I don't need your opinion I just need to
know what happened."
He rolled his eyes and wiped a sheen of sweat off his forehead with
his arm. "I guess Shane didn't do to good on his paper. She was handing
'em back and when she got to his she stood over she called him in depth..."
He stopped and shook his head putting on a look that if Shane hadn't had
the hots for him would have aptly named him the buffoon because of it.
"Not in depth in..." he scratched at his head and looked off at the wall
like the answer may somehow appear there. "Inept?" He looked over at the
principal. "Is that a word."
Donald tapping his pen against the desk nodded a single nod and waited
for Derek to continue. "She then wondered aloud why Shane couldn't get a
good grade cause he had no friends and should have time to do his work."
Donald nodded again his chest starting to burn with anger.
"Then she grabbed his bag and dumped it out all over his desk." he
leaned forward and looked at the principal like maybe he was scared to ask
what he was about to ask. "Is Shane okay? I mean is he maybe a little
crazy?" He asked making a circular motion with his finger around his
temple.
"Why do you say that?"
"Cause of what was in his bag."
"What was in his bag?"
"All these balls, baseballs, golf balls, tennis balls really old and
worn out balls like they had been chewed by dogs, those high bouncy balls.
Little ring things that looked like maybe they were the remnants of those
big candy diamond rings that you suck on." He said putting his hand to his
mouth and making a sucking motion with his face like maybe the principal
needed an actual example of what he was talking about. "There was some
string, some empty soda cans, a little mini snow globe, a couple little
rubber or plastic men like you'd get at the grocery store out of the
machines." He made a turning motion with his hand like he was turning the
crank that dropped the toy from the glass case down to the chute for the
kid to retrieve.
"There were sea shells, rocks, a dried up star fish."
Mr. Mason shook his head in amazement of what was in the bag as well
as amazement that Derek the dimwit had remembered all this stuff so well as
usually he had trouble spelling his own name right which was a bit of an
exaggeration but not much. "Okay," He held up his hand. "I get the
point."
"No but wait. While he was picking all that stuff up off the desk the
bitch," He stopped and put his hand over his mouth. "I mean Mrs. Narchek
opened the front pocket of the bag. She pulled out a picture of a woman a
photograph, you know like one you would get from a camera."
Donald nodded again knowing what a photograph was.
"And also a picture from a magazine of some half nude young guy. You
think he's queer?" He asked cocking his head to one side and looking at the
principal curiously.
"I don't think that matters much do you?" Donald asked knowing it
probably would matter very much to all the kids in school and knowing the
incident would only bring Shane more abuse from his fellow classmates.
Derek shrugged though he seemed real deep in thought about something.
"Well anyways, he stood up and grabbed for his pictures ripping the
boy one in half cause she didn't let go of it. Next thing I knows he drew
back and slapped her. He then gathers up his things and she hauls him out
of the room." Derek shrugged indicating that was all the news he had of the
event he was sure would make the Prescott High record books. One he could
proudly state he was an actual witness to.
"Well thank you Derek, you can go back to practice now." He got up
and followed Derek out of the office but took a right in the hall while
Derek took a left. He walked nearly to the cafeteria and took another
right into Miss Narchek's class. She was sitting rigidly at her desk
marking some poor soul's paper angrily.
Don walked up to her desk and she looked up at him with piercing eyes.
"I hope you expelled him."
"No I didn't expel him." he shook his head and leaned back against the
table directly in front of her desk his anger towards her was dangerously
high and he had to take a deep breath so it would not come pouring out in
an inappropriate way. "Seems you left out quite a bit of what happened in
here." He gestured with his head to the back of the room catching a glimpse
of a chewed up tennis ball caught under a section of cupboards he walked
over and picked it up. His heart ached as he looked at it thinking of
Shane being so totally humiliated in this room nearly two hours earlier.
"I did nothing wrong." She quipped straightening out her back and
broadening her shoulders.
"Opening a kids bag and dumping it's contents out in front of an
entire classroom is against his right of privacy."
"So are you saying he had a right to slap me?"
"No I am not saying that. I am saying that what you did was just as
wrong as what he did. If there were any way for me to suspend you too I
would but seeing's how this district has no substitutes I have no choice
but to keep you on. If you pull any crap like that again though I will
fire you replacement or no replacement."
She stood up from her desk while slamming her fists down on it at the
same time. "That kid doesn't belong here. He's crazy as hell can't you
see that." she said pointing to the ball in Don's hand.
"What is that based on exactly?" he crossed his arms across his chest
nearly daring her to answer.
"Just look at him Don, Jesus Christ he never takes his jacket off, he
never talks to anyone, he carries that damn bag around like it's a real
live baby or something. And now that I know what's actually in it I'm even
more sure he's crazy."
Don swallowed hard his face hot and he imagined quite red at this
point. "No one talks to him Pam, he's the poorest kid in this damn school
and those things in his bag are probably real important to him. He has no
belongings he has no clothes of his own he doesn't dress that way
willingly. That photograph you so coldly displayed to everyone was
probably one of his dead mother. Something I'm sure is very sentimental
and very important to him." He shook his head and looked at her with a look
he hoped would display how disappointed he was in her. "Did you grow up
without a mother?"
Mrs Narchek shook her head her mouth apparently tired of spouting off
for now.
"Well then maybe you shouldn't call him crazy for maybe being a little
quieter then everyone else. I'd think you'd like it." he turned and
started to walk off then turned back and pointed a finger at her. "I want
you to lay off him when he gets back here next week. I mean it."
Shane was half conscious on his father's bed his body on fire. The
room was silent now no longer filled with the sounds of his cries or the
loud SMACK of the belt beating against his flesh.
Roger Campbell put the hot belt back through it's loops around his
waist while breathing heavy and sweating profusely. "You stay here you God
Damn little Fuck. Think about what you've done and why you deserve this and
every other thing I do to you and don't do for you. Maybe after a while it
will sink into that thick skull of yours. Maybe when I get back from the
bar if I feel like it I'll let you up. If I don't feel like it maybe I'll
just hide you again." he walked over to the window and opened it letting a
large gush of freezing air into the room. "Try and keep warm." He shot
back at his son who lay limp bruised and bleeding on the bed. He chuckled
evilly then left the room slamming the door behind him.
By an hour later Shane was fully conscious and down right freezing on
the bed which he was actually welcoming as it numbed some of the pain that
stretched from the back of his thighs up to his shoulder blades. He'd lost
count of how many times the belt came down on him after fifty his mind gone
delirious from the pain so much so that counting had not been an option.
He lifted his face out of the pillow and turned it back to the door
where Austin had just walked in grinning at him maliciously. "What did you
do this time?"
Shane sank his face back between the pillows his rectum already
spasming in dread at what was sure to come next.
"You're such a shit Shane. If you had any brains you would get the
hell out of here. No one wants you. Hell if dad didn't enjoy beating on
you so much he'd have kicked you out on your ass years ago."
Though he'd heard these same words millions of times they still hurt.
Hurt because he knew they were true and no matter how much he tried to deny
it all it always proved itself. He pressed his face further into the
pillow after hearing The Buzz's fly unzip and the sound of pants dropping
to the floor. The bed sagged down as his brothers weight was added to it.
Chapter 2
Shane was awaken by a kick to the ribs the next morning. He sat up
and found himself on the floor of his bedroom naked from the waist down and
wondering how in hell he had gotten there as he'd not remembered his father
coming home. Only remembered wondering if anyone would show up at his
funeral being the last thoughts going through his head, as he was sure he
was gonna freeze to death.
He looked up at his father who was illuminated in light from the
hallway and eased himself up off his burning ass which suddenly was
re-announcing it's injuries full force. "Get up I'm leaving for the docks
in ten minutes if you ain't dressed I'll drag you down there half dressed
and use your scrawny little dick as bait." His father kicked him one more
time and stormed out of the room. In as long as he could remember he could
not use any other word for the way his father entered and left rooms he
stormed that was it. He'd never seen his father not pissed at something
and anywhere he went he was always storming there.
Shane looked down at his 'scrawny little dick' not thinking it was
very scrawny compared to some he'd seen such as his brothers. Though his
brother was five years older then him and his dick was full grown Shane's
was nearly the same size and still had a good couple years of growing yet
according to the sex ed teacher he'd had in seventh grade, another subject
he'd done well in.
He pushed himself up off the floor and threw on a pair of pants,
socks, and his jacket he had no sweatshirt and hoped this day would not be
as cold as yesterday since he would be outside all day long.
He got to the truck nine minutes later where his father was revving
the backfiring engine, no doubt pissing off every neighbor since it was
only half past six. He eased up into the seat and held his butt up off it
with his hands while his father laughed at him and his attempt to ease his
own pain.
They arrived at the docks five minutes later and Shane was pushed out
of the truck where he nearly fell on his hands and knees but regained his
balance at the last minute. Nick gave him a cheerful wave, Nick was his
father's boss and had met him many times before as Shane was regularly
hauled down to the docks for days of hard labor to toughen him up. Nick
made these days almost bearable as he unlike his father was a very nice
man.
He was set to work right away carrying crates of he had no idea what
from the dock up onto the boat. His body already aching in every
conceivable spot was jarred and throbbed painfully within one hour of his
hard labor. Nick approached him after two hours and told him he could have
a break. Shane nodded like he may actually do that but knew he wouldn't
cause if the bear caught him he would be mauled again. His father did not
seem to mind giving him a few good whacks right there in front of all his
boat mates and Shane would rather save himself that humiliation.
"Don't you got any gloves boy?" Nick grabbed one of his nearly purple
hands and held it up to his face. "You're hands will freeze right up and
fall off. Crazy kids, think you can out smart the elements." he pulled an
extra pair of gloves out of his pocket and pulled them over Shane's hands
and down to his wrists. "You keep those son, you need gloves I don't give
a good god damn what that tyrant of a father of yours says. I'm the boss
here and what I say goes." He nodded curtly then strolled back up onto the
boat.
Lunch time arrived and Shane's stomach filled with a dull ache from
hunger as it was rapidly approaching it's 26th hour with no nourishment.
He saw his father sitting on the deck devouring a sandwich that from
Shane's standpoint looked like only lettuce but he was sure there was some
meat between those slices of bread somewhere.
Nick said something to his father and they both looked down at him.
Shane quickly returned to his work and his father bellowed out that the God
Damned kid didn't need any fucking food.
For the next day and a half Shane worked like a dog ignoring his
screaming body that screamed so loud he was awake long into the night. On
Thursday morning he woke up extremely over tired and extremely hungry as he
had not put anything in his stomach but water since the spoon full of chop
suey Monday at lunch. This was Thursday though his last day on the docks
and his last day with his father around he could eat the next day and just
had to hold onto that thought to get him through this day.
He didn't make it through that day. After another lunch passed with
not a drop of food to his stomach he started to get extremely dizzy. He
kept at his work til it was just not possible. He stumbled over to crate
to take a moments rest not caring if his father was watching or not.
Before he reached the crate his world went black.
Nick up on the boat saw him collapse and ran down off the boat calling
to Roger while he ran. He knelt down in front of Shane and cradled his
head in his hand. "Shane," He said trying to shake him awake. Shane's
eyes fluttered but did not open and Roger was suddenly looming over them
both he drew back his foot to deliver a good kick to Shane's back but Nick
reached out and knocked his booted foot of track.
"What the fuck is the matter with you?" He asked glaring up at him.
"This is your fault you know, the kid needs food. You can't expect him to
work out here all day harder then a grown man and not give him any food."
"Don't you tell me how to raise my kid."
"I'm not. I'm telling you how to treat him when he's on my boat."
Nick stood up jabbing his finger into his own chest as his got louder.
"He's my responsibility when he's working for me and I won't let you treat
him this way when you drag him down here any longer. If you can't follow
my rules then don't bring him."
Roger fumed on the other side of Shane who was coming to on the cold
wet pavement. He had no come back for the man and didn't dare give one
knowing his job which he needed could be on the line as Nick was madder
then he'd ever seen him.
Nick looked down at Shane who was struggling to sit up all the while
leaning away from his father and his boots. He leaned down and helped
Shane to his feet. "Now you take him home. I'll give you half an hour
off." He patted Shane's back thanked him for the hard work and told him to
go home and eat a good meal.
Roger grabbed him roughly by the arm and hauled him up to the truck
shoving him inside. Shane clutched at his stomach not really with it
enough to realize the trouble he inevitably would be in. One blinding
punch later reality hit him and he cowered down in the seat as several more
blows were delivered to him once the truck hit the street.
The truck was not heading home Shane managed to comprehend while
ducking blows and hiding his head under his arms. Instead it was heading
North further away from home. They drove out of town where the road
stretched on flatly as far as the eye could see if it weren't for the snow
all over the side of the road and fields he may have guessed they were out
in the dessert in the middle of Utah somewhere.
Once they were out on this deserted stretch of highway a good ten
minutes The Bear slammed on the brakes and the truck skidded to a stop
turning partway around in the road in the process. Shane jerked back
thinking the fists flying at him were gonna deck him again but instead they
reached past him and unlatched the door. Shane grabbed out for something
to latch onto as he was pushed from the truck but his fingers slipped past
everything they passed leaving him to hit the pavement with a most painful
thud.
His father was out on top of him in a flash kicking and punching while
Shane writhed on the pavement unable to escape the attack. After some time
of which Shane had no idea his father stood back up and reached into the
truck slamming his book bag down into his face. "I don't want to see your
god damn face again before I leave. If I see you in the house tonight or
tomorrow morning I will end both of our miseries and kill you." he drew
back his foot and sent it crashing into Shane's ribs. Shane moved a badly
scraped arm along the pavement and pressed it to his now throbbing chest
the most prevalent at this moment of all his pains as he laid in the fetal
position on the roadway.
"Your list of chores will be on the counter, I still expect them all
done by the time I get back on Monday. If they aren't I'll kill you." he
delivered one last kick this one making contact with Shane's shoulder then
got back in his truck and the sound of the engine was suddenly over powered
by the sound of screeching tires as his father zoomed away. Shane figured
if there was dust this time of year he would now be left in it.
He quickly got up on his hands and knees putting one hand through the
strap of his bag he crawled off the road not wanting to become road kill.
He stayed on his hands and knees for a moment taking deep breaths until his
pain was eased enough so he could get to his feet. He was glad he'd seen
his father drive off otherwise he'd have had no idea which direction to
head as one way looked exactly the same as the other.
Seeing he was completely alone he let his tears burn down his cheeks
pondering over Buzz's question from Monday night of why he bothered to
stick around at all. It was so painfully obvious he was not wanted he
figured he must be an absolute idiot to want to stay. He slung his bag
over his shoulder wincing as it hit his bruised shoulder and started his
slow walk back to town.
He figured maybe he stayed cause he had no place else to go, he had
shelter there at least not from pain but from the cold which after tonight
he was sure he was gonna appreciate a whole lot more. He'd been kicked out
over night before but he never remembered it being during a cold snap as
bad as this one was.
He lowered his back pack down in front of him again and unzipped the
front pocket he took out the picture of his mother smiling back at him
which only increased his tears. He wondered how much if anything would be
different if he hadn't killed her on his arrival to this world. He
wondered how someone who looked so innocent and pretty would ever end up
with someone like his father the bear. Austin had repeatedly told him that
his father was nice before he was born that Shane himself had turned him
bad. And still his father was nice to Austin so there it went his father
apparently was only mean to him.
He stuffed the picture back in his pack wanting nothing more then to
sit down or even lie down even if it was only on his corner of the carpet
in his and Buzz's bedroom. He walked for a good hour before the town rose
up in the distance his face lit up as he remembered he could go to the
library where he could at least sit and be warm until five o'clock when it
closed.
Once he walked in the library he immediately looked up at the clock
seeing it was already three his heart sank realizing he had only two hours
to take in all this warmth before he would be thrust back out in the cold.
He walked to a far corner and sat in one of the plush chairs that were
situated here and there through all parts of the one room library. This
one was hidden behind a shelve of books one of which he grabbed without
caring what it was before sitting down gingerly in the soft chair. His ass
was healing well but the bruises still smarted each time he sat down.
He opened the book and looked down at it then closed his eyes. He
jerked them open what seemed like a minute later as he felt someone's hand
grasping his shoulder and shaking him back and forth.
He looked up at the face attached to the hand into the eyes of the
librarian who was a nice enough lady who had never said much to him but
never said anything mean to him either. She was about sixty five by the
looks and smiled warmly at him as he looked at her.
"It's five o'clock dear. Looks like you fell asleep. If you want
that book," she said pointing down to where it had fallen into his lap.
"Then we need to check it out cause the library is closing."
"No ma'am." Shane shook his head and picked the book up. "I guess it
wasn't too good if it made me fall asleep like that." He stood up shakily
making sure his bag was still attached to his back then returned the book
to the shelf.
"Good night." the librarian called after him. He turned and nodded
giving her a half wave then went outside where the sun had now set and it
was at least ten degrees colder. He walked down off the library steps and
looked down the street to the bank the sign out front was flashing the time
and he watched and waited til it flashed 3 degrees making him wish he
hadn't looked at the sign at all.
He thought desperately of where he could go and spent several hours a
shivering mass roaming the deserted streets of Prescott Cove. By eleven
o'clock he was sure he would freeze to death as he turned back onto Main
street and looked at the bank clock which now said it was -5 degrees. He
knew he couldn't stop moving as that would surely kill him.
An hour later as he was just about to give up and die a thought struck
him so profoundly it nearly knocked him on his ass. He headed out of town
cursing himself for his stupidity at not coming up with it earlier. He
reached his destination the trailer park where his trailer looked warm and
inviting though he knew it really wasn't just comparatively he'd rather be
in there being fucked by Buzz then out here freezing his ass off. He
turned left into the first trailer's yard and knelt down in front of Old
Shep's dog house. He pushed the blanket back hung in the door way. "Hey
Shep." he said quietly wanting only Shep to hear it. The dog let out a low
growl as he shifted himself in the house.
"It's only me." Shane said reaching a shivering hand into the pitch
black house so Shep could smell that it was him. A moment later a cold wet
nose protruded and a wet tongue licked the side of his face. Shane took
this as an invite to go on in which he did crawling in on his hands and
knees letting the blanket fall back in place behind him. The house to his
amazement was incredibly warm. He was not sure if it was just by
comparison or not but he liked it. He laid down on his side laid out his
pack under his head and pressed himself against the wall so Shep would have
plenty of room to still lay down.
Shep laid down snuggling his body into Shane's side he whimpered a few
times while licking at Shane's face and neck. If Shane had, had any
knowledge of dogs and their protection to the ones they loved he would have
realized this dog was real worried about him and was trying real hard to
raise his body temperature by nuzzling into him and licking him with his
warm tongue.
Shane wrapped his arm around the dog's back and was asleep within
minutes. He was jarred awake the next morning by the Rust bucket firing to
life four trailers down. He rolled his eyes as his father revved the damn
engine letting everyone in the park know he was up and off to work. Shane
stayed snuggled into Shep until several minutes after he heard the truck
roar past the dog house and out onto the street.
He would rather have stayed there with Shep in the house that still
felt real warm cuddled up with the dog that had stayed by his side all
through the night. He knew though if Shep's owners were to catch him in
there his father would hear about it and he would be killed when his father
got back Monday morning.
He reached out and scratched between Shep's ears then kissed him on
the nose. "I gotta go home now. Thanks so much for sharing your house
with me." He grabbed his bag and crawled out of the house Shep on his
heels til he reached the end of his line and could go no further.
Shane turned and patted him one more time then walked down the dirt
road and up into his trailer. The list as the bear had promised was
scrawled out on three pages of paper and covering half the small counter
top in the kitchen. He opened the fridge and devoured the half block of
cracker barrel cheese that was in there caring very little at that point
about the punishment he would receive for doing it.
He jumped while shoving the last bit of cheese into his mouth as he
heard footsteps entering the kitchen on the other side of the fridge door
which he was currently cowering behind while he was gorging himself. The
door swung back and his heart flooded with relief seeing it was only Kelly,
Buzz's fiance who had obviously spent the night as she was dressed in only
in one of the Buzz saws T shirts and a pair of white underwear which he
could only see the very bottom of below the shirt.
"How are you Shane?" she asked cocking her head to one side as she
looked at him with the same look in her eyes that was in that secretaries
eyes in the school office on Monday. With Kelly though he felt the look
may be genuine as he had always thought she was very nice person and when
she was around Buzz generally left him alone cause she had gotten real
pissed at him more then once in the way he was towards Shane.
"I'm good how are you?" this was his usual response to her question
she always asked when she first saw him on a visit. He wanted desperately
to ward her off from marrying Buzz for perhaps her own safety but never was
able to muster up the nerve.
"I'm good," She nodded and smiled a small smile. Shane found her
pretty attractive for a girl, Austin though was a very attractive guy which
he had to admit despite his hate for his brother so it did not surprise him
that he'd landed a pretty girl. "Where did you stay last night?"
"At a friends house."
She nodded again though she in no way believed him as he had dirt
smeared all over his face and his whole demeanor made him appear as though
he'd hadn't slept in days. She was quite certain in fact that he'd been
kicked out of the house once again by his father whom she hated which was
why she spent so few nights at the house except when his father was away.
"What's this?" she asked walking over to the counter and looking down
the list.
"Just stuff that needs to be done." He closed the fridge door and
turned to her.
"By you?"
"Whoever gets to it." he said shrugging not wanting her to know it was
part of a long running punishment for decking a teacher.
Kelly turned back to him and put her hands up behind her gripping the
edge of the counter. "How come you aren't coming to our wedding Shane?"
Shane scraped at some cheese on the roof of his mouth with his tongue.
He had been invited to no such wedding the wedding had not even been
mentioned to him. He was only aware that his brother would be married
in....he turned his head to one side and thought. Oh yeah only two weeks
now, two weeks til the Buzz was gone and he'd have his own bed.
"Shane?" he looked back at her where she was still leaning back
against the counter and wondered if maybe she was pissed he wasn't going.
He wouldn't want that but knew there was no choice for him in the matter.
His mind raced for some excuse while her eyes continued to study him.
"It's just that..." he paused wanting to kick himself in the ass and
scratched at the bridge of his nose that did not itch.
"Did Austin tell you he didn't want you going?" she asked cocking her
head down a little further.
"No," Shane shook his head his eyes looking at everything in the
kitchen but her. "I have to work with Dad on the docks that day."
Kelly let out a sort of laugh that lasted maybe half a second and
shook her head. "Your father is not working that day Shane he's coming to
the wedding."
"I'm taking his place." Good one he thought to himself it almost
making up for his lack of an excuse in the beginning. Kelly crossed the
kitchen in two steps she reached out and wrapped her hand around his wrist.
Shane's breath caught in his throat and he pulled his wrist up only
resulting in her hand coming up with it. "What are you doing?" he asked
panicked as his eyes darted to the hallway praying The Buzz would not come
out and catch her touching him. He wrenched his wrist sideways pulling it
out of her grasp and backed into the fridge his breathing becoming heavier
in his panic not at her but at Buzz seeing her showing him some compassion.
"Shane I'm not gonna hurt you." her face was even softer now and her
eyes seemed to be studying every milli-inch of his face the sides her eyes
somewhat wrinkled in a look of what? Worry? Pity? He could not really
tell just knew it was not mad that look he was an expert on.
His eyes darted back to the hall and he strained his ears to hear any
movement from Buzz somewhat of a wave of relief rolled through him as he
heard the sound of the Buzz buzzing, at which, he was aptly named for. He
looked back down at Kelly who was a good two inches shorter then him
bringing forth his look of innocence.
"It's just I have to work." He said looking down at his hands which
were cracked and bleeding. His father had not been congenial enough to
throw his gloves out of the truck the previous afternoon.
Though Kelly didn't believe this lie for a minute either she knew she
shouldn't press Shane on it cause she had a good idea neither his father or
his brother had invited or wanted him to come to the wedding. She knew
Shane was not loved in this home though she did not know the extent of what
he lived with day after day she had always felt real sorry for him. "Just
in case you don't have to work. I just want to let you know that I am
officially inviting you."
Shane nodded knowing he would never go even if he wanted to just to
see Kelly dressed all up he would never dare go to a place he was obviously
not wanted. He side stepped around her and walked over to the list
figuring that was a pretty stupid thing for him to think as he returned to
this tin shack every damn day and he was obviously not wanted there at all.
He looked down over the list seeing what he had to do which was pretty
much every damn thing that could be done. Such as clean every inch of the
house from the floors to the ceilings to the closets and the bathroom. His
eyes lit up as he finger ran down past 'do laundry' with get money from
Austin in parentheses beside it. If he was gonna get to do the laundry
surely he could slip in a few of his own clothes and not be discovered.
He had only been able to add one quarter to his two dollars the night
before as he wandered the streets. He started in the livingroom that being
the furthest room from Buzz's and he had less chance there of waking him
up. Kelly busied herself making something that smelled rather heavenly in
the kitchen she hummed as she worked and the sound seemed to relax Shane a
great deal as he removed pictures from the walls, filled a bucket with hot
soapy water then started scrubbing them.
It had been a good year since his last full house cleaning punishment
and the yellowed walls once passed by with the sponge were dripping down
yellow water from Buzz and The Bears continual smoking of at least a pack a
day each when they were around in the room. The two spent many evenings in
the room drinking and playing cards or just drinking and watching TV, a
cigarette most always dangling from their lips or between their fingers.
He had to go over the walls three times before every last trace of the
yellow drippings were gone and was just rehanging the pictures when the old
buzz saw himself staggered out into the kitchen. Shane looked over at him
long enough to see him scrape the chair from the table out along the floor
and plop into it then Kelly walk over and kiss him on the lips.
Shane made a grossed out face as he turned back to the wall not able
to picture anyone willingly kissing Austin good looks or not.
He was pulling crushed up beer cans out from under the couch an hour
later when Kelly and Buzz walked into the livingroom with their jackets on.
"I won't be home this weekend we are going out of town." He grumbled.
Shane looked at him quite surprised he was privy to this information
he looked from him to Kelly who was smiling and figured she must have
something to do with Buzz informing him of his plans. "Dad said I gotta
get money from you for the laundry."
Buzz's face turned even angrier. "I ain't giving you any damn money."
Shane's heart drooped and he figured he should have expected this.
Wanting to give it one more try he pointed wearily over at the list on the
counter. "Says right on it you have to give it to me."
Buzz lunged forward and delivered a strong punch to Shane's stomach.
Shane gripped onto it and doubled over trying to regain his breath as Kelly
lit into Austin.
"You let him be you asshole." She snapped. "Give him the God damn
money it's your laundry he's going to be doing."
Shane straightened himself out in time to see Buzz pulling out his
wallet he then pulled it open angrily his face was beet red and Shane knew
it was just killing him to have to hand over money to the likes of him. He
figured Buzz must sure love Kelly to actually listen to him when it came to
this.
A bill was whipped out and flung in his direction landing about a foot
shy of him on the floor. Shane waited not daring to even look down til
after Buzz and Kelly left the house and the car left the trailer park.
When he did look down his eyes lit up seeing a whole twenty dollar bill
right there on the floor. After cleaning the livingroom he gathered up
every dirty piece of clothing and dirty towel or dishcloth in the house and
set the bags of them by the door.
Once he was sure he had everything including the sheets on the beds he
grabbed the economy size of no brand detergent and walked to the door.
"How the fuck am I gonna get this all down there." he said aloud as he
scratched his head and looked over the four very full trash bags.
Another epiphany hit him and he looked out at the tin shed by his tin
trailer if he remembered correctly there was an old Bradlee's shopping cart
in it and all he would have to do was a little shoveling which was on the
list anyways to get to it as well as cleaning out the shed.
The shopping cart as it happened was buried in the back of the shed so
Shane cleaned out the shed while working his way to it. He filled several
more trash bags and put what was left in neat piles it took him close to an
hour and it was another thing he could scratch off his list. He pushed the
cart with a stubborn wheel out of the snow and into the driveway by the
steps. He threw the bags down in from inside the trailer door then walked
back out closed the door and set the economy size detergent bottle in the
cart over the bags. He smiled down at it thinking maybe he wasn't so
stupid as everyone had said as this plan despite the stubborn wheel would
surely work out real well.
He stopped pushing the cart in front of Shep's trailer and gave him a
good long pat while Shep did his usual jump on welcome and lick of his
face. "It's warmer today don't you think?" He asked scratching his ears.
He pulled his pack off his back and set it in the child seat of the
cart. He unzipped it and pulled one of the tennis balls of only two he had
left after the balls went rolling all over the bitches classroom. "You
deserve this for helping me out last night." he said sticking the ball in
between Shep's teeth. He watched the dog play with the ball smiling with
satisfaction as he threw it up in the air then pounced on it as it landed
for a good five minutes before he said good bye and pushed the cart out of
the park and onto the main road.
He reached the laundry-mat ten minutes later leaving the cart outside
he put his pack on his back and carried the bags in two by two setting them
on top of four unused machines.
He got all the laundry into six washers put a capful of detergent into
each one then set them to wash. He sat down in one of the chairs against
the wall that were like seemingly every chair in town the school colors of
green and white. He pulled his pack off his back and set it in his lap
opening it up he pulled out his worn copy of Romeo and 'Julian' and started
reading.
He had read about ten pages when he looked up over the book hearing
the tinkling of the bell over the door. He nearly choked on his own spit
as he saw no other then Derek Kirk, the Stud walk in with his own bag of
laundry.
He held the book up higher in front of his face and peeked out over it
keeping an eye on Derek as he dumped his load into a machine. He bought a
box of detergent from the cashier girl who by from her giddy mannerisms
Shane figured was a Jockette.
Shane nearly dropped his book as Derek turned his way and his deep
warm eyes looked directly into his. 'Shit' he muttered to himself as he
quickly looked down at the book wondering more about Derek's lips and the
position they had gone into in the instant there eyes had met. 'Was it a
sneer or a smile?' he asked himself maybe ten times before he dared look up
again. His brain tickled against his scalp as it felt like it was doing a
full revolution seeing Derek was walking straight towards him.
His throat closed off completely when Derek dropped down in the chair
beside him and he had to force himself to stay put and not cower over one
more chair. He looked blindly at his book it's words nothing but one black
smear as his mind whirled in wonderment at exactly why Derek the Stud had
chosen to sit there by him.
He knew full well chances were he was there to deliver some teasing
about the picture in his pack that the bitch had so proudly displayed about
the classroom. Or maybe he was just gonna beat the hell out of him for
being queer and not saying anything therefore opening Derek up for ridicule
for sticking up for him the few times he had.
"How are you?"
The words on the pages of his book were now just dripping right off.
This he had not expected why in hell would the Stud be asking how he, the
runt, was doing?
"Shane?"
'Oh god he knows my name.' He slowly turned his face towards Derek
and studied his face that was pretty surely a smile on his face he thought
as he managed to make his own lips turn upward in what he hoped look like a
smile and not some goofy face you might see on a scared person.
Derek's smile got a little bigger and his nervousness over his own
smile faded a bit.
"That was pretty great what you did to Miss Narchek. Good for you."
Shane's brain did another full revolution at actually being
congratulated by the Stud.
"Did you get in much trouble for it or for being suspended?" Derek
asked his eyes not leaving Shane's which was exciting Shane as much as it
was making him nervous.
He managed to shake his head, nonchalantly he hoped.
"My dad says you were down working on his boat this week was that your
punishment?"
Realization dawned on Shane and he managed to speak just to get
clarification. "Nick is your dad?"
Derek nodded and smiled. "You like him?"
"Yes," Shane said firmly having no doubt in this answer. "He's very
nice." His eyes wandered away from Derek as this also brought up another
realization. Derek must have been told by Nick to be nice to him. That
must be the reason for this sudden concern. Though he felt humiliated at
this he was gonna take advantage of it for this hour or so they would be at
the laundry mat together.
The buzzers to his washers all went off in succession the next one
starting as soon as the preceding one stopped causing a continual buzz that
lasted nearly a minute. "That's me." Shane said flushing with
embarrassment as he stood up and hefted his pack back on his shoulder. The
whole time he was transferring his loads from the washers to the dryers he
fought with himself on whether or not to retake his chair. Would it look
forward if he did? Would it make him look like a wuss if he didn't? He
cursed himself for not just leaving his book there that at least would have
given him some excuse to return.
Once the dryers were filled with clothes he put in his coins turned
the nobs and walked over and sat back down in his original chair by Derek
not caring if it looked forward as his whole body was tingling with warmth
at just sitting there beside him and he did not care for that moment
anyways that Derek was only being nice on orders from his father.
After Derek had changed his load he retook his seat by Shane which
sent Shane's tingles into actual vibrations as his face flushed hot and he
fought like hell to hide his excitement.
The bell over the door tinkled again and they both looked up to see
Dudley Do-right the aptly named one arm law of the town strode in. Like
his father stormed into rooms Dudley always strolled. It was obvious to
all around the town that the man thought pretty highly of himself and
though he was extremely conceited he was also known as being pretty nice.
He was a jock when he was at Prescott high he'd been quarter back of the
foot ball team and captain of the basket ball team and was more then likely
why he had this huge ego and why he had stayed in the town that had once
worshiped him so though now his athletic fame was a mere history and Shane
had heard many people picking on him in his spiffed up cop uniform
strolling superiorly through town.
He stood at the head of the row of washers and cleared his throat as
he put his hands on his hips in a sort of Super man pose. "Whose shopping
cart is that outside?"
Shane figuratively shrunk down out of his chair and melted into a
puddle on the floor, but literally raised up his shaky hand and said it was
his. Dudley strode over to him looking like he may take flight at any
moment. He stopped an inch or so in front of Shane's chair and looked down
at him while Shane looked up feebly from his chair.
"It's against the law to possess those carts son. Where did you get
it?"
"Out of my shed." He managed to squeak out while his hands turned to
pools of sweat on his thighs.
"Where did it come from originally?"
"It says Bradlee's on the side." He figured maybe that should have
been obvious to Dudley but that was how he knew where it was from so that
was what came out of his mouth.
Dudley leaned over in rattle keys and handcuffs that were around his
belt. "Are you being smart with me son?" He asked his nose so close Shane
thought if his stuck his tongue out full stretch it would touch it. He
leaned back in the chair in no way liking that closeness and shook his head
as he in no way had meant to be smart and knew after years of being told so
that he could never be smart.
"You gonna tell me where you got it then?"
"In my shed." He squeaked again not sure why this answer was not
satisfying the man who was now rolling his eyes and shaking his head.
"So are you telling me you don't know how it got in your shed?"
The light dawned on the situation and Shane nodded cursing his
stupidity again for not catching on to what the officer meant. Dudley
stood back up rattling the keys and handcuffs around his waist again. "You
need to take it back to Bradlee's. If you do that I won't write you up for
any violation."
Shane immediately got up from his seat. "Yes sir," He said side
skirting him and going outside he grabbed hold of the cart and wheeled it
down the sidewalk he turned the corner onto Striper lane and five minutes
later wheeled the cart into one of the corrals at Bradlee's department
store.
When he returned to the laundry mat Dudley was gone and his things
were done drying. He stuffed them all into the garbage bags having been
embarrassed enough for one day and intending on folding them all up at
home. He was trying like hell to get all the bags into a good grip with no
success when Derek stepped up in front of him. "Mine is just about done.
I can give you a ride home if you want."
Shane though desperately needing help shook his head. "You don't have
to do that Derek."
Derek reached over and snatched up two of the heavy bags like they
were filled with feathers. "You can't get these all the way home on foot.
Don't be so stubborn. Let me give you a ride."
Not wanting to risk another insult Shane nodded he twirled his finger
into the material of his shirt and wound it around nervously bunching up
the fabric around his waist. "You ain't gonna drive me to some secluded
place where all your jock..." he stopped and turned his head to one side.
"I mean your sports friends will be waiting to beat the hell out of me are
you?"
Derek's eyes seemed to light up with a glint of humor maybe? Shane
studied him his eyes moving up and down his handsome face searching for any
sign of malicious intent.
"Of course not Shane. I'm the one that sticks up for your remember?
I would never do that to you."
Shane nodded and pulled his finger out of his shirt letting the fabric
fall back into place falling loosely around his hips.
"Come on then." Derek grabbed a third bag while Shane grabbed the last
bag and detergent and they walked out to Derek's car which was a beat up
old Chevy Impala. It was a huge car with dents and rust all over it which
looked to be better then it's original color which was sort of a faded snot
green.
Derek hoisted the three bags over one shoulder effortlessly while
producing a ring of keys from his back pocket. He jammed one into the key
hole in the trunk then flung the trunk open and the bags in. Shane added
his bag and detergent Derek closed the trunk and they went back inside and
waited about five minutes for Derek's load to be done then got back in the
car and headed west out to the trailer park.
"How do you know where I live?" Shane asked as he was heading in the
right direction though Shane wasn't sure if he was headed to his house or
some secluded spot despite Derek's denials to the whole beat the crap out
of him issue.
"I live right past there. I've seen you walking in there a lot. You
live in the first trailer right?"
"No fourth." Shane said shaking his head while Derek looked over at
him looking slightly confused.
"Oh I just thought it was the first cause you always stop there and
pat that dog."
Shane nodded now looking confused himself sort of wondering how Derek
would know that if he had not been intentionally looking.
"Why are you in the locker room every morning Shane? Can you not
shower at home?"
Shane looked down at his lap and ran the sweaty palm of his hand
across his thigh. He figured it may be better to tell the real reason then
let Derek think he was not allowed to shower. He looked back up at Derek
who was taking his eyes off the road repeatedly to look over at him. "I
just want to be stronger. I don't like being such a wimp."
"So you are using the weight room?"
Though Derek had not sounded angry Shane took it as that and winced
sure a punch would be flying his way. Derek's hand did strike out but it
only landed gently on Shane's shoulder. "It's okay Shane. I'm not gonna
get mad at you. I think it's a good idea. Boy Bart would pass right out
if you let him have it some day. I'd like to be there."
Shane looked at him sideways more then a little unable to believe his
own ears at the fact that he had stated at least that he would like to see
none other then he little old nothing beat up Mr. King Jock.
"You must get there real early to get a work out in before we show
up."
"Five fifteen." Shane could have punched himself in the face at that
huge error in actually divulging his time of arrival to one of the enemy.
Even though it was the cutest, in his opinion, of those enemies.
They turned into the park. "It's that sort of bluish one right
there." He pointed it out there in all it's rusted falling apart glory
figuring if Derek already knew he lived in the park there would be little
more shame added if he pointed out the exact one as all ten trailers in the
park looked like they had survived through the depression hell even back to
the civil war maybe.
"Well this is nice." Derek said upon turning in the driveway.
Sure he was kidding and though he figured he was being teased Shane
busted right out laughing something he could not ever remember of ever
doing before. Catching hold of himself about thirty seconds later he put
his hand up over his mouth to stop his sudden and quite embarrassing
laughter which to him sounded between something like a dying crow and the
distant sound of his father's truck on it's way home evenings.
He looked over at Derek who was smiling at him much to Shane's
surprise. "Well maybe it's not so nice. I just thought it would be a
polite thing to say."
Shane nodded as he opened the car door sort of in a shocked silence at
his own ability to come right out and laugh like that. He'd heard people
laughing plenty but never heard it come from his own mouth and the fact
that it did scared him a little. Like maybe he had gone mad cause he knew
damn well he had nothing to laugh about.
Derek helped him into the trailer with his bags. "What are you doing
for the rest of the day?" he asked looking around the very dumpy kitchen of
the trailer then the much cleaner livingroom.
"I have to clean." Shane pointed absentmindedly over at the list on
the counter not that it's presence would make much sense or difference to
Derek. "That's my punishment for getting suspended."
Derek nodded and again got a funny look that Shane could not quite
read. He'd have thought it was disappointment but knew there was no reason
at all for Derek to be disappointed by his having to work. "Well I'll let
you get to it then. See you Monday I'm sure."
Shane nodded and scratched at his head. He stepped back so Derek
could open the door. Derek lingered for a minute making Shane somewhat
nervous then said good bye and walked out. Shane walked over to the window
and peeked out past the curtain.
Derek got into his car and was now looking back at the trailer the
seconds stretched into minutes and he continued to just sit there. Shane's
heart beat wildly in his ears of fear of what Derek could be up to. He let
out a long low whistle when the car finally started. It slowly backed out
of the driveway then took off out of the park.
He turned back to the livingroom and dumped the bags of clothes out on
the floor. The warmth of the recently out of the dryer clothes piled up
all around him called out to him and before he could think to stop it he
laid down among them and buried himself in them. When he came to later he
sat up abruptly the trailer was all dark meaning it was already dark
outside meaning it was already past four and he'd lost at least three hours
of work time.
He jumped up out of the clothes causing such a wave of dizziness he
fell directly back down on his butt which sent up flares of pain where it
was still tender from the hiding. He grimaced and rubbed at it then stood
up more slowly he looked out into the kitchen at the clock on the stove he
could not make out the numbers and walked over into the kitchen. "Holy
mother of Fuck." He called out loudly seeing it was nearly ten o'clock and
he'd lost five hours of work time.
Tears of frustration burned at his eyes as he could not believe what a
shit he was for falling asleep for so long. He saw no way he would ever
get all the work done now with eight precious hours totally lost.
Still crying heavily he walked back to the livingroom and turned on
the light. He knelt down among the clothes which were now his enemy as it
had been their fault for tempting him in such a way that his feeble will
power had no control to stop it's invitation. He cried the entire time he
folded all four bags of clothes and towels while he put the clothes away
his tears dried up. He made up the beds with the clean sheets then set to
work in the kitchen scouring every surface and washing every dish that had
been piled high in on and near the sink.
He scoured every room top to bottom, cleaning out every closet and
under every bed. He did not cross the last item off the list until 1am
Monday morning at which time he walked into the bathroom and took a long
hot shower. He had not slept at all since the illegal nap on Friday and
was dead tired but more then that he was grimy and gross and knew he would
not get to sleep unless he was just a bit cleaner.
He got out of the shower toweled off and combed through is hair that
was getting much too long for his own likes. He opened the cracked mirror
door that housed the medicine cabinet and looked in at the pair of
scissors. Though he was tired he knew he would not get another chance to
use them for who knew how long as he was so rarely left alone in the house.
It figured longest it could be was two weeks when Buzz moved out but still
that was too long his hair would be long as a girls by that point.
He smiled into the mirror thinking maybe he would have his own little
celebration at home while Buzz was off getting hitched. He couldn't wait
for the bed to be his and couldn't wait to have a room of his own. And
just the fact he would no longer be fucked like bronco was real satisfying
to him let alone the fact that Austin would no longer be around to get him
in trouble, or beat him up and ridicule his every move. He knew he would
still get in trouble but figured at least not as much and had to take what
he could get.
He spent about twenty minutes trying to cut his hair and though he
could not see the back the front came out pretty good in his opinion and he
would just have to hope the back did too. Either way it was bound to look
better then it had. He put the scissors back in the cabinet precisely
where he had placed them earlier after cleaning it out and walked across
the hall to his bedroom.
Though Austin was not there he held no thoughts of taking his bed not
only for fear Austin may show up in the night but he figured it would be
best to hold off the anticipation til the bed was really his. He fell
asleep nearly the instant his head hit the pack and did not wake up til
4:30 the next morning. He took his time getting ready putting on a nice
clean pair of jeans though still three sizes too big despite the fact he'd
washed all his own clothes in the same batch using the strongest cycle and
the hottest water in apparently a vain attempt to shrink them.
He also put on his favorite of the worn T-shirts that used to be
Buzz's a dark green one that had the word Colors on it each letter written
in a different color. He put on his jacket which he had also snuck in the
washer and added a clean pair of sweat pants and a ripped across the sleeve
white T-shirt to his bag so he'd have clean work out clothes as well.