Date: Wed, 27 Jul 2005 07:33:51 -0400
From: Vance Lister <vlista20@hotmail.com>
Subject: Shane

                              Chapter 3


     He was in the weight room at the school no more then five minutes when
Derek walked in jumping him so badly that the bar holding the weights
slipped out of his hand sending the black weight blocks he'd lifted up
crashing back down on top of the others he was not yet strong enough to
lift.
     "You sure are a jumpy kid." Derek said smiling as he walked around the
apparatus and stood over Shane who was on his back rubbing his chaffed
hands from where the bar slipped past his skin on it's escape from his
hand.
     He sat up dodging his head past the bar and looked wearily up at
Derek.  "What are you doing here?" he croaked out.
     "I thought maybe I could help you.  In becoming buff you know." He
said with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders as he sat down on the bench
with Shane.  "If you want."
     Shane shook his head not liking how far Derek was taking his father's
order.  "I know why you are doing this Derek and I personally relieve you
from your duty."
     Derek looked at him with the buffoon sort of look.
     "It's okay," Shane said shaking his head once.  "If your dad asks I'll
tell him you've been very nice to me.  Which you have so it wouldn't be
lying." he side long glanced over to the wall then down to his hands
between his legs that were spread open and hanging over each side of the
bench.
     "What in hell does my father have to do with me being nice to you?"
     Shane's head shot up as that sentence sure sounded genuine.  He didn't
think Derek was truly smart enough to cover anything up so well and was now
switching gears trying to decide why else Derek was suddenly so there and
being so nice to him.  "I thought..." He paused shook his head and looked
back down at his hands.  "I just thought he told you to be nice to me." He
said quietly while shame ebbed it's way up through his feet and into most
parts of his body.
     Derek let out a laugh making that shame expand.  "I don't listen to my
dad."  He said clapping a huge hand down onto his thigh.  "And he never
told me any such thing."
     He rubbed at the back of his neck unable to come up with any other
explanations.  "Then why are you?"
     He was given a sharp look by Derek.  "You think someone has to be
bribed to be nice to you?  Is that what we've all done to you?  Given you
such a low self worth that you don't think you could just have a friend?"
     "What do you mean we all?" Shane asked wondering from what he was
saying if it had been the plan all along and who exactly was involved.
     "Everyone at this damn school." He said loudly making Shane
instinctively flinch.  Derek turned and looked him straight in the eye.
"It's only gonna get worse you know.  Now that, that bitch dumped your
stuff all over the room.  Everyone thinks your queer." The last part of his
statement sounded more to Shane like maybe Derek was asking him right there
whether he was or not.
     Shane shook his head having come up with an excuse for that during his
long week off.  "That picture..." he started, stopped then cleared his
throat.  "It was only what I want to look like.  You know," He pointed down
at the bench.  "After working out.  It's sort of my goal."
     Derek's eyes seemed to bore right into his soul in his intense
studying and Shane could not tell either way if he believed the lie or not.
"Why'd you have all that other stuff in there?  All those balls and stuff?"
     "To play with the dogs at the park." he'd come up with that one over
the weekend too actually the moment he'd given old Shep his thank you ball
for keeping him warm Thursday night.  "You know the ones that run loose.  I
throw them the balls and they bring them back.  It's just for fun, but I
don't want to lose them so I keep them in my bag."
     Derek nodded and Shane was pretty sure he detected a look of belief in
his still studying eyes.  "What about all that other junk."
     Shane blanched what he hoped was not visibly at someone especially
Derek calling all his prize possessions junk.  "I just haven't cleaned it
out in a while." He managed to mutter lowering his face again as he could
feel it growing red in his ever expanding shame.
     "I didn't say that to be mean." Derek was still watching him and knew
from Shane's reaction that his feelings had definitely been hurt by the
question.  "I'm sorry."
     Shane looked back up at him having never in his life been apologized
too.  He was left speechless since never being apologized to left him with
no way or knowledge on how to respond to it.
     "Do you want me to help you bulk up?  I swear I'm not tricking you or
doing this cause my dad asked.  I just think it's high time you stuck up
for yourself."
     Shane too confused to do much else nodded.  He sure would like help as
he had no idea what he was doing and if what he was doing was even right.
     "Take off your shirt."
     He instinctively wrapped his arms around himself not liking the order
and having no intention of baring his body to Derek who had the body of a
Greek God compared to his body of a five year old.
     "Come on," Derek chuckled a bit as he smiled at Shane.  "I need to see
what you need to work on.  I ain't gonna pick on you I promise."  He
reached out and put his hand around one of Shane's that was pressed up
against his chest.  He gently pulled it away and stood up.
     Shane his hand halfway between him on the bench and Derek standing
over him felt warm tingles running through his hand and up his arm
absolutely figuring he had to be dreaming as his puny little nothing hand
was deeply and warmly embraced in Derek's big strong adonis of a hand.  Not
wanting to have that hand let go of his he stood and lifted one leg over
the bench and placed his foot down with the other on the same side of the
bench.
     Even though he'd gotten up the hand still let go of him.  "Take off
your shirt."  He said again sounding even more kind this second time.
     Shane looked down at himself between the hand holding and the apology
he didn't have it in him to deny a request of someone who was being so nice
to him.  He curled his fingers around the bottom of his T-shirt and pulled
it upwards then up off and over his head.
     "How in hell did you get all those bruises?" Derek asked sounding mad
again.  Shane looked down damning himself to hell as apparently bruises of
this nature were not something that every kid was covered in.  Something he
suddenly realized he should have known as most kids were not as bad as him
most kids had not killed their own mothers.  They were such an every day
part of his life he had not thought at all about someone seeing them.
Which didn't make much sense cause he'd never told anyone how he was
treated at home to hide his own shame but now for some reason he'd just
whipped his shirt off and revealed all.
     He put his hand over one particularly bad one and thought quickly.
"My skin is real sensitive banging around down on your father's boat took
it's toll."  Stupid but it just might work after all he was not dealing
with the brightest fellow of them all.  He didn't note any look of belief
in Derek's eyes but didn't note any of disbelief either.
     He took a quick step back as Derek's hand pressed into his chest and
started feeling along his chest.
     "What are you doing?" He asked holding the T-shirt that was still in
his hand up over his chest.
     "I'm feeling your muscles.  See what we have to work with."
     "There's nothing to work with." He snapped not so sure why he was
suddenly angry he just knew he was.
     "What do you mean?"
     "I ain't got no muscles yet. That's why I'm here."
     "No you do." Derek nodded slightly and gently moved Shane's shirt
gripping hand back down to his side.  "You've got some good definition
started here." he rubbed his hand along Shane's chest again and though
Shane was somewhat turned on by it he was still feeling anger which he
figured may just be disguised humiliation.  "You're stomach is all caved in
though." His fingers were now walking along that area like a spider.
"Don't you eat?"
     "Well of course I eat." He snapped again wishing he would stop doing
that.
     "You're not going to make much muscle if you don't eat more. It's
obvious you don't eat enough." he pressed into his stomach again making
Shane's gnawing hunger only that much more apparent.  "I'll have to show
you what a good balanced meal is.  Say tonight after practice I pick you up
and we can go out to eat so I can show you what you are supposed to eat."
     Shane looked up at him a weary look like maybe he was waiting for the
punch line to this latest trick.  An idea was forming in his head one he
knew he would never believe but yet it was still there.  He looked Derek
over from head to toe wishing there were some tell tale sign that a person
were gay from a person's appearance.  Cause what he was thinking was that
he was getting hit on right now.  Not that he could base this on any
experience and he wasn't really believing it he knew how his mind loved to
run away with things.
     "Well?"
     "I haven't got any money."
     "That's okay I'll treat, I'll call it part of the training."
     Shane found himself nodding figuring getting beat up by the jocks was
worth the chance for a dinner with The Stud.  He knew it would cause him no
trouble at home in fact if he didn't go home he wouldn't get beat on.  His
father could really care less if he showed up or not as long as he wasn't
woken up in the process of him arriving home.  "Can't I just meet you here
though instead of you picking me up at home?" he slid his shirt back on and
looked over at Derek.
     "No, I don't want my friends to see."
     Shane filled with more expanding shame though of course this should
have been no surprise to him what was shameful about it was the fact it had
looked like he thought Derek wouldn't mind being seen with the likes of
him.
     "I can pick you up in town somewhere though just not here."
     "How about the library?"
     "Sure that sounds good.  But if you see any of my friends wait til
they go away before they come to the car."
     "Okay," they only had enough time left after their discussion for
Derek to show him to proper techniques on using each machine such as body
posture and breathing.
     "Tomorrow morning you can do it and I'll make sure you are doing it
right."  he said after checking his watch.  "You'd better get showered and
get out of here now before Bart finds you."

     Shane was in his first period English class no more then five minutes
before the crackling intercom beeped to life and his name was called out to
report to the office.
     The teacher aptly named rail cause she was as thin as one nodded
curtly to him apparently giving her 'nod' of approval that it was okay for
him to leave her class.
     He stood up and pulled his bag out from where it had been pressed
tightly between his feet and walked out of the classroom several snickers
from the other students ringing out as he walked from the back of the room
to the front.
     He walked down the deserted hall and into the outer sanctum where he
was motioned right on through to the inner sanctum himself.  He was nervous
but knew he'd done nothing wrong and figured it was some post punishment
follow up.  Mr.  Mason nodded as curtly as The Rail had and motioned him
into one of the high society diningroom chairs.
     He sat down pulling his book bag off his shoulder and placing it in
his lap.
     "How are you?" Mr. Mason asked congenially.
     "Fine thanks." he wondered if he should ask how the principal was in
return but abandoned the idea not wanting to come off as another smart ass
something he was scared of now since his run in with Dudley Do Right on
Friday.
     "I talked to Mrs. Narchek.  I told her what she did to you was totally
wrong and I told her I'd better not hear any more about that type of
behavior from her.  I need you to promise me that you will come to me if
she harasses you or embarrasses you like that gain."
     Shane nodded hoping he wouldn't be made to come right out and say I
promise cause he really didn't figure it was a promise he could keep.  He
just didn't think it were possible for the likes of him to have the right
to run belly aching about anyone else to anyone.  He watched the principal
as he leaned back in his chair and pulled open a desk drawer.  His eyes lit
up seeing him produce two of his tennis balls a baseball and some other of
his prized possessions he'd not been able to gather on the day of the major
incident.
     He hid his great elation not really wanting this man or anyone to know
how much his possessions actually meant to him.  Mr. Mason pushed the goods
across the desk.  "I thought you may want these back."
     Shane smiled what he hoped was a not too excited smile.  He unzipped
his bag in what he hoped was a not too excited way then reached over and
picked up his belongings in the same hopefully non excited manner and
dropped them back in the bag the keeper of his prized possessions.  "Thank
you." He looked back up at Mr. Mason as he zipped the bag shut hoping it
expressed that he was grateful but not desperately grateful.
     "Did you cut your own hair this weekend?"
     Shane did not think anyone had enough shame in them as what was
filling him now his eyes burned and he swore at himself to keep them back.
He did not know why this insult was bothering him so much more then all the
others but it certainly was.
     "Shane are you okay?" Don asked feeling some shame of his own as it
was very obvious he had just deeply hurt Shane's feelings.  "I wasn't being
rude son, I commend you for cutting your own hair it's not something most
people would attempt."
     The insult topped with a compliment jerked Shane's flood gates open in
a sudden force and with no time or ability to push it back the tears
streamed down his face.  He stood up quickly knowing all he could do was
flee the scene.  He was used to these crying jags and knew there was no way
to stop them once they started.  What he had to do was get to the bathroom
and hide in one of the stalls.  He didn't even get to the outer sanctum
though before he was grabbed by the elbow and the door to out there was
closed blocking his path of escape.
     "Just let me go." He cried trying to wrench his elbow free. "Please"
he added in a pleading tone.
     "No Shane.  You come and sit back down." Don guided him over to the
chair his heart breaking at what he had said to make Shane break down like
this.  He knew the kid had a lot of sadness in him but was shocked to see
it actually come out as no one in the school had ever reported any emotion
from the kid at all.  He put his hands up on Shane's shoulders and eased
him down into the chair where he quickly buried his face in his hands the
tufts of dark brown hair that he had missed in his cutting jiggling back
and forth while he cried.
     Don sat beside him in the other fancy dining room chair and reached
over onto his desk and pulled a couple tissues out of his hand made cross
stitched tissue box.  "Shane I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your
feelings.  You did a real good job, you just missed a few spots." he
figured he should back up his original hurtful statement with some facts.
     Shane snagged a tissue that was being held up to his hands that were
pressed tightly in to his face, he wiped at his eyes realizing why he'd
been hurt so by the original statement.  It had to be because he actually
liked this guy and cared more about his opinion of him then perhaps anyone
else that he knew he was far past ever being anything in their eyes.  This
man though that he had no nickname for had always seemed to like him had
never said a hurtful word to him.  And the words he said weren't so bad it
was just who they came from.  He cleared his throat and contained himself
as best he could as he wiped his still leaking eyes.
     "It's just I can't see the back.  I didn't know it looked bad." he
said glancing at Mr. Mason out of the corner of his eye on his down cast
face.
     "It doesn't look bad Shane.  I didn't mean that, like I said you just
missed a couple spots."
     "It's cause I couldn't see them." He said again trying feebly to
defend himself for whatever reason he was not sure. He winced slightly as
Mr. Mason's hand landed on his shoulder and squeezed.
     "If you want you can come with me after school, I happen to know
someone who can just trim up those missed spots."
     Shane looked over at the principal face on.  "You don't have to do
that for me."
     "I want to do that." He said with what was undoubtedly to Shane a
genuine smile.  The man's easy to read expressions was one of the many
reason's Shane liked him and had saved him from a nick name.  "In fact I
insist on it. Let me make it up to you for my rude comment." he lowered his
head and looked in Shane's eyes what he saw only making him shudder.  In
this vulnerable state his eyes looked as tortured as he figured anyone's
eyes could get.  "So please why don't you meet me right here after your
last class and we'll go to my house so you can get your hair cut."
     "Your wife?"
     Don sort of shrugged and sort of nodded.  Shane did not question him
figuring he had just not married the woman but was living with her and
didn't want to come out and admit that incase he thought Shane was
religious or something.
     He agreed to meet him there and left the office stopping in the rest
room to wash his face before he returned to class.  The day passed slowly
with several more taunts then usual being shot his way all of them based on
his apparent homosexuality.  No one beat him up though and by that standard
he had to call it a pretty good day.  When he walked into Chemistry class
The Bitch glared up at him from her desk.  "You will sit with Derek today."
She said flatly and coldly pointing out the empty spot by Derek which he in
no way considered it to be a punishment.
     He walked over and sat down keeping his bag in his lap to help ensure
the Bitch would not snatch it away again.  He was minding his own business
situating his books figuring Derek would not want him talking to him with
the whole class around when Derek leaned over to him.  "I told her I'd keep
you in line. That way we would get to sit together."
     Shane's ears grew hot not only by the breath emitted while Derek had
been speaking directly into his ear but by the fact that Derek had wanted
him to sit there so badly he had bowed down to the Bitch herself to get it
accomplished.  He nodded a curt nod wondering if he should fake a look of
fear for the rest of the classes benefit to make it appear that maybe Derek
had whispered a threat instead of what he'd actually whispered.
     The Bitch degraded no one that class and looked to be careful not to
even look in Shane's direction though he highly doubted it he got the
feeling the Bitch was suddenly afraid of him.  Something he would not mind.
Being feared was better then just being hated on the overall scale of
things.
     Just before the bell rang Derek leaned over again and said he'd be at
the library at five thirty.  Shane nodded glad he hadn't forgot and praying
he would show up so he wouldn't look even more the part of the town fool
standing on the library steps all night waiting for someone who would not
show.
     He met Mr. Mason in his office and waited only about five minutes for
him to gather up his things before they walked out of the school and got in
his car.  One of the few cars Shane had ever seen in Prescott Cove that was
shiny and not mostly covered in rust.  "This is a real nice car." He said
feeling it needed to be said as it was about a hundred times prettier then
the other cars in the lot and the whole damn town.
     "Thanks." Don said smiling at him as he unlocked Shane's door.  "I got
it about a year before I moved here.  Didn't realize it would stand out
like a sore thumb here course at the time I didn't know I'd be moving here
either."
     Shane nodded, opened the car door then got in and sat down.  The
inside of it even smelled nice.  It did not smell like burning oil or stale
cigarette smoke he took one long whiff maybe strawberries?  Some fruity
thing for sure.  They drove a short ways down main street then up the
street past Bradlee's and on into some thick woods which they were in for
about five minutes before the blinker clicked on.  Shane looked to his left
the way the ticking blinker light was indicating and saw a large and even
fancy looking home that didn't have peeling paint and didn't have crooked
shutters.  It's shutters were actually not even shutters they looked like
short little picket fences on each sides of the windows they were painted
white which contrasted well with the deep blue house.
     "I didn't think they had houses this nice in Prescott Cove."
     "This isn't really Prescott Cove, we passed the town line about a mile
back."
     Shane nodded and looked back out the window the house was two stories
high and a porch wrapped the entire part of it that he could see.  The
porch was mostly white with every other table leg looking rail painted the
same color blue as the house with the pillars that held the porch roof up
painted purple at the top of the blue.  "It's got a lot of colors." He said
thinking he should talk cause the house was absolutely the most beautiful
thing he'd ever seen in real life.
     "It's a Victorian.  Victorian homes by right should be three colors.
We have spent the two years we have lived here fixing it up.  It's taken a
lot of work and it's still not done but it's coming along well."
     They got out of the car and walked up the porch steps and into the
house.  A smell so inviting wafted to and up his nose a smell he could only
describe in one word.  Homey.  Like the kind of smell that welcomed you
home and beckoned you to stay as long as you wanted.
     All around of what he could see was dark wood polished to a high
shine, from the stairs to the floors to the banister that went up the
stairs, the walls were even this color at the bottom then deep rich red
from about midway up all the trim around the walls and doors was this same
dark wood which all added to the homey theme.  The stairs had some fancy
carpeting running up the middle that was dark red with some white and green
tear drop shaped designs on them a matching area rug was under their feet
and another one ran down the hall to the left of the stairs.
     To his right he could see a fancy diningroom and smiled seeing the
chairs around it matched those in Mr. Mason's office.  There was another
fancy rug over the dark wood under the table but this one was mainly green
with red and white tear drop shapes.
     "Let me take your jacket."
     Shane put his arms up protectively on his chest like he had earlier in
the weight room when Derek wanted him to take his shirt off.  "Can't I keep
it on."
     "It will be hard to cut your hair with your jacket collar up there."
     Shane relented realizing the man was right and shook off his jacket
and handed it over feeling very exposed in his green shirt no matter if it
was his favorite or not.
     "Honey," He called out making Shane jump as he was not expecting it.
"I'm home, I brought Shane."
     "She already knows about me coming?" Shane asked turning to Mr. Mason
figuring that would have been the proper thing for him to do to at least
warn the woman that she had to give a hair cut.
     "Be right there."
     Shane's eyes nearly swapped sockets as it was a man's voice he was
sure that had called the response.  Mr. Mason looked back at him and
smiled.  "She is a he." He said tentatively looking pretty fearful of what
Shane's reaction may be.
     Shane sort of pointed a finger out at him.  "You mean you are gay?" he
asked hoping it didn't sound like an accusation.
     Mr. Mason nodded not looking any less nervous making Shane think it
had come across as and accusation.  "Does the school know this?" he asked
wanting to smack himself in the head as he was only making it sound like
more of an accusation.
     "It's really none of the school's business who I live with or who I
love.  It hasn't come up and I have told no one.  You are the first to find
out."  Don looked at Shane intently for any sign to maybe tell him what he
thought about it.  He hadn't expected Shane to run from the house he
figured if anyone in Prescott Cove would be okay with his lifestyle it
would be Shane Campbell he wasn't sure why he had this opinion he just did.
     He had liked the boy from the first time he met him.  He knew his life
was not easy but Shane kept trying despite it all.  He showed up at school
every day where he was abused and ridiculed by nearly every class mate. He
didn't exactly hold his head high but he kept coming and that in itself
made Don respect the boy very much.
     "Are you okay with this?" he asked after Shane's silence stretched on.
     Shane looked back up from the floor where he was actually rolling in
the joy that he was not the only homo with in a thousand miles.  He smiled
assuredly at Mr.  Mason and nodded.  "You love whoever you want sir, as
long as it's love that's all that matters right?"
     Don smiled never feeling more proud of Shane then he did at that
moment.  He walked over and hugged his partner as he joined them in the
foyer.  Shane wanted to do a small dance of joy just seeing it.  He
suddenly felt very little fear at being in this house and being with two
people he hardly knew.  He felt maybe almost like he belonged in this
place.  He shook his head knowing that was just ridiculous as gay or not he
didn't belong in place as beautiful as this place was.
     Don led his mate by the hand over to Shane.  "Shane this is Tad, Tad
this is Shane." he said motioning with his free hand to between the two as
he said their names.
     "It's very nice to meet you." Tad reached out his hand Shane hesitated
only a moment having never recalled shaking someone's hand before or being
formally introduced as he just had been.
     When he did stick out his hand he smiled.
     "Don's told me quite a bit about you."
     Shane looked nervously over at Don knowing there were no good things
to be said about him.
     Seeing his nervousness Tad smiled warmly.  "Sounds to me like you are
a strong minded decent young man."
     Shane's eyes narrowed and he pulled his hand free knowing now this had
to be some kind of trick.  He turned partway to the door and entertained
the idea of fleeing.
     "What's wrong?" Don asked after giving Tad a weary look.
     Shane turned his face back towards them but kept his eyes focused on
the floor.  "What do you want?"
     "I just want to know what's wrong." Don reached out and put his hand
on Shane's elbow which in turn was pulled away.
     "I shouldn't have come here." His eyes flickered around the room and
over to the diningroom the smell of homey-ness still strong though this was
not his home and the smell had nothing to do with him.
     "I thought you said you didn't mind it." Don said walking around so he
was in front of Shane who took a step back from him.
     "I don't mind that." he shook his head.  He turned his face up
sideways and studied Tad for a moment.
     "Well then what's wrong?" Don asked feeling totally confused now.
     He pulled his eyes off Tad and looked over at Don not knowing what to
say but wanting to say something so they knew he was not upset by their
sexuality.  "I don't know why I'm here."
     "Cause we were gonna get your hair cut.  Tad here does a real good
job.  He does mine." Don sort of chuckled which he figured was nerves as he
ran his hand along his head.
     Shane looked back over at Tad.  "You don't gotta say that to get to
cut my hair."
     "Say what?" Tad asked holding his arms up in a half I surrender
manner.
     "Nice things."
     "I was saying nice things cause I've heard nice things about you.  I'm
not trying to bribe you or trick you in any way."
     Shane looked back over at Don wondering what nice things he could have
come up with to say all the while wondering why he had been talked about at
all in this house.
     "So what do you say we get started on your hair then huh?" Tad held
out his hand to Shane's back and nudged him gently further away from the
door.  He kept up his gentle nudging til they reached the dining room
table.  He pulled out a chair and Shane sat down feeling like a total fool.
He still wasn't sure what was going on but knew he shouldn't have acted
like there was.  Now they were gonna think he was a paranoid weirdo.
     "You did a real good job for doing this yourself." Tad said above him
as he pulled a comb through his hair.
     "You don't have to say that sir, I'm not gonna start crying about it
again." he figured Don must have told him about his bawling episode in the
office and this man though kind to do it was trying to lessen the severity
of what Don had said.
     Tad looked over at Don who shook his head sadly and shrugged in the
doorway to the diningroom.
     "I'm not just saying it." he looked back down at the top of Shane's
head and pulled his comb through again.  "The only people who can usually
get away with cutting their own hair are people with real long hair.
Cutting your own hair when it is this short is nearly impossible."
     Shane kept his mouth tightly closed feeling somewhat uncomfortable
with this man being so nice to him.  He thought of the conspiracy thing
that had crept into his mind earlier and wondered if everyone was now
setting him up to think he was special or something so the next time they
knocked him down it would be a more devastating fall.  He decided he would
go along with these people's niceness but would not let any of it sink in.
That way when the inevitable happened it wouldn't hurt like they all were
expecting.
     "Do you want any certain style?"
     "Just short please."
     The next few minutes were pretty silent other then the sound of the
snipping scissors.  Tad set the scissors and comb down on the table when he
was done and walked off into the other room.  Shane turned his head around
and looked at Don who was still standing in the doorway wondering if it was
okay for him to get up or not.
     Don smiled back at him his worry for the boy very high since his
reaction to Tad's compliment fifteen minutes earlier.  He had dealt with
many kids in many towns for nearly twenty years between being a teacher and
being a principal and was pretty certain Shane's reaction was due to not
having one ounce of self esteem.
     Self esteem so low that when he was paid a compliment which apparently
happened very little he automatically assumed someone was playing a trick
on him.  Something that was incredibly sad in itself but not as sad as what
it took to make someone that way.  In Shane's case he knew it had a great
deal to do with the way he was treated at school but after seeing what he
just saw he got a strong feeling that things were not much better at home.
That not only was Shane very poor but chances were good he had very little
love as well.
     "Do you want to stay for dinner Shane?" he asked wanting to get to
know the boy better and hopefully after a while dig out of him why exactly
he was so down on himself.
     He turned his face back to him.  "I can't I have to meet my dad in
front of the library at five fifteen." good lie, good use of time so he
won't know it wasn't his dad picking him up.  He nodded slightly commending
himself for his quick thinking.
     "Okay, maybe another time."
     Shane nodded.
     "Say tomorrow?"
     He looked back at him sharply.  "I don't think that's a good idea."
     "Why not?"
     "I just don't." Shane snapped not sure why he was angry this time
either as he turned his face back to the table.  He stood up pushing the
chair back along the rug.  "In fact maybe I had better go now."
     "Why so soon?" Tad asked returning to the room with a hand mirror for
Shane to see his cut.
     "I gotta meet my dad."
     "You said you didn't have to meet him til five fifteen it's only three
thirty."
     Shane's anger swirled up around him he didn't know why still but he
went with it.  He raised his hand up so it was even with his chest.  "I
just want to go." He said loudly bringing his hand up and down with each
word.  He said it so forcefully he couldn't even keep his eyes open as he
said it as he'd never spoken out like that before.
     Don nodded and retrieved Shane's coat from the foyer.  Shane entering
the foyer snatched it out of his hands and flung it on right over his pack.
"I can walk."  he said curtly then skirted around Don and quickly walked
out the front door.
     Tad looked at Don the mirror dangling from his hand down by his thigh.
"That's one hurting kid there Don."
     Don nodded his eyes misting over he turned and walked out the door as
well.  He caught up with Shane just as he passed the car and grabbed his
arm.  "I'm not letting you walk back it's too far.  You don't have to talk
to me and I won't talk to you if you don't want, just get in the car."
     Shane jerked his arm out of Don's grasp and started walking off down
the driveway again.
     "I MEAN IT Shane." Don yelled out trying to make his voice angry
though he really wasn't just to make Shane get in the car.  Shane stopped
dead in his tracks he slowly turned around then walked up to the car and
dropped down into the passenger seat of which Don had opened the door to
when Shane had stopped.
     Shane put on his seat belt and maneuvered his arm out of his jacket
pulling off his pack he moved it to his lap and held it tightly in his
arms.  He did not look over at Don as he sat down in the drivers seat
opting instead to stare straight ahead and try to figure out his anger.
     "I'm sorry we upset you Shane."
     "You said you wouldn't talk." Shane snapped clenching his fists mad at
himself for snapping but also mad at Don for not keeping his promise.
Something he should have known Don would do.
     Don looked away from Shane and started the car deciding if that was
what Shane wanted that was exactly what he would do.  Though he desperately
wanted to feel the boy out and make him feel he had an ally he knew he had
to go slow that Shane had been hurt too many times by too many people to
just open up and put his trust in anyone.
     He drove him into to town and to the library and did not even say good
bye as Shane got out of the car.  He watched as he walked up the steps and
went inside then drove back out to his house.
     At five o'clock when the library closed Shane returned to the front
step still not having any idea why he'd gotten so mad.  Now he was only
feeling guilty for being so nasty and not even thanking Tad for the hair
cut.  He decided what he should do was apologize to Mr. Mason first thing
in the morning and just hope his apology would be accepted though he highly
doubted it.
     It got colder and it got darker and Shane looked down the street to
the bank his heart sank seeing it was already five thirty five and still
there was no sign of Derek.  He mentally kicked himself in the ass for
falling for this trick sure Derek and his friends were hiding just out of
sight laughing their butts off at him sitting there like a goon.  He stayed
where he was though holding onto the dying ember of hope that Derek had
only been delayed and would show up at any moment.
     It was long past eight o'clock when he lifted his sorry ass off the
freezing cold concrete step and started on the trek home.  He realized he
had been stupid in his earlier plan of just not letting people's kindness
sink in.  It still hurt real bad and he had all he could do to hold in his
tears at bay.  He seriously considered giving up his work out routine but
one side of his brain seemed to fight against the other and in the end the
side telling him to go won out.  It's argument being that he was not doing
it for anyone else, he was doing it for himself so that maybe he would not
hate himself as badly as everyone else did.
     He got to the park and stopped and patted Old Shep who had picked up
the ball on Shane's arrival and was holding it in his mouth as he jumped up
on Shane not allowing his tongue to come out for the usual lick.  "You
would never play a trick on me would you Shep?" He asked as he stroked the
dogs ears.  "I don't think you would and it's real nice to know that at
least I have someone who won't be mean."  He leaned over and kissed the top
of Shep's head patted him one last time then walked down the dirt road to
his own trailer he stopped and sighed seeing the old rust bucket in the
driveway meaning the old bear was home.  No doubt sitting in on the couch
with his reeking feet up on the clean coffee table with a beer in one hand
and a cigarette in the other.
     He turned back and looked at Shep visible in the lumination of the
streetlight standing at the end of his line and looking back at him.  He
toyed with the idea of sleeping with the dog again as he'd slept very well
that night but figured he shouldn't wear out Shep's welcome cause there
would be more nights he would actually need to sleep there.
     He walked up the three steps to the house bringing his feet together
on each step to delay the moment of actually walking into the house.  He
reached the door took a deep breath then opened it up and stepped inside.
     "What the hell are you doing here?" the old bear growled before he
even got the door closed behind him.
     Shane turned and looked at him on the couch with a beer in one hand
and a cigarette in the other.  His stained stocking feet were on the coffee
table and Shane could almost see the cartoon like greenish yellow fumes of
stink radiating from them.  "I thought.."  Before he could finish his
sentence the old bear growled again.
     "I don't give a fuck what you thought." He spat while spit actually
flew out of his mouth.  "I'm not ready to see your ugly face yet.  Come
back tomorrow night maybe I'll have changed my mind by then."  He waved him
off with a wave of his big fat hand and Shane turned back around and left
the trailer he walked back down the steps and out of the small driveway
knowing a night out of the house also meant a night off the small square
that was their rented property.
     He did not yet dare go to Shep's house as his owners were still up and
moving around in the light that was coming out of their windows.  He did
not dare go out to the road cause he knew now that Derek lived just past
him and did not want him to drive by and laugh at him or stop and beat the
hell out of him for being so dumb he actually fell for his trick.
     He turned and walked to the back of the park then off into the woods
where he still had a good view of the lights in shep's owners trailer but
felt he could not be seen out there in the darkness.  He felt around him
and found what felt like a fallen tree.  He brushed off the snow on a small
part of it then climbed up on and sat there waiting for the lights to go
out in the first trailer.
     He thought he saw Derek's car go by maybe and hour later but from his
great distance could not be sure.  Perhaps an hour after that the lights in
his tin shack went out.  It seemed like maybe days after that before the
first trailer went dark.  He slid his frozen ass down off the tree and
trudged out of the woods and up to the first trailer where Shep was still
standing at the edge of his chain as though he'd been watching Shane in the
woods this whole time.  His tail wagged excitedly as Shane approached and
he ran back and forth from his dog house to Shane seemingly inviting him
right on in which Shane was glad to see as he had to take one of those
emergency uses.
     Shep let him crawl in first then crawled in behind him he again
snuggled right up close to Shane.  Shane fell asleep within a few minutes
this time his mind much more exhausted then his body.  The day that seemed
to start out so good was leaving him feeling more alone and desperate then
ever.


                         Chapter 4


     He woke up the next morning feeling more rested then he had felt in as
long as he could remember.  He rolled onto his back and stretched out his
arms as best he could in the small dog house.  Shep perked up beside him
and licked at his face.  Shane looked to the doorway of the house between
licks and his heart stopped mid beat as he saw it was already day light
out.  How in hell could that be? He wondered as he certainly would have
heard the old rust bucket firing to life and revving up for the good five
minutes it did every morning.
     He crawled over to the door and peeked his head out under the blanket
it was daylight alright but it still appeared real quiet like maybe all
those who worked which were very few in the park were all gone and those
who didn't work were still all sleeping meaning it had to be somewhere
between seven and eight.
     He turned his face to Shep was standing right beside him.  "I gotta go
to school now, thanks again for the place to stay." he crawled out of the
house staying real low til he reached the shabby old fence that surrounded
Shep's trailer.  He straightened out then and ran all the way to school.
Once he got there he peered past it to the clock on the bank which was now
displaying it was 2 degrees.  He smacked his hand against his forehead as
the time replaced the temperature and saw it was already 8:30 meaning he
was half an hour late for school.
     Having been late once or twice before he went straight to the office
hoping not to run into Mr. Mason whom he had decided while sitting on the
tree in the woods the night before that he would not apologize to now that
he was sure there was some conspiracy against him.
     His hope was dashed as he walked into the office and nearly crashed
right into Mr. Mason himself.  "What happened to you?" he asked looking
directly into Shane's face.
     Shane who had no idea what exactly he was talking about realized he
should have had the brains to sneak into the bathroom and check himself out
before coming right into the office.  "I over slept."
     "You look like you slept in a dirt pile."
     Shane lowered his head glad at least that people weren't faking
niceness on this day.
     "Come into my office."
     Though Shane did not in anyway want to enter the inner sanctum he
followed along obediently.  He sat in what he considered to be his usual
chair by now as he'd sat in it every day he'd been at school now for three
days.
     "Did you not go home last night?"
     "I went home." this was not a lie and very easily said.
     "How come you are wearing the same clothes you wore yesterday?"
     "Cause I overslept and didn't have time to change."  Another good one
wow he was on a roll.
     "You sleep in your clothes?"
     "Yes," he said in tone he hoped would cause little argument like maybe
he may get real upset if he were teased for that.
     Don nodded not finding this that odd what he found odd were the
streaked dirt blotches on the side of Shane's face and neck.  He'd either
rolled in the dirt, gotten into a fight in the dirt or just smeared it on
himself for the fun of it.  None of which Don really believed as the dirt
was nothing but a frozen mass anywhere around here now.
     He leaned back in his chair moving into his new plan mode he and Tad
had come up with the night before.  The plan to hopefully guilt Shane into
saying what was really wrong.  "I was pretty upset last night Shane.  I
opened my life up to you cause I thought you of all people could handle it.
I was very surprised you reacted the way you did."
     Shane's eyes darted up to him and he clutched his pack tighter to his
chest.  "I told you." He stammered.  "It has nothing to do with you being
gay."
     "What has nothing to do with me being gay?"
     "Why I wanted to leave your house."
     Don nodded switching his tactic just a bit.  "It sure seemed that way
to me.  And it sure seemed that way to Tad."
     "I said it wasn't that." He was snapping again so he lowered his head
and shook it miserably forcing himself to calm down.
     "Well then what was it?"
     "It's none of your damn business." okay the calming down did not work
now he was real mad.  He stood from his chair and headed for the door and
again he was grabbed by the elbow.  He wondered how everyone could be so
much faster then him.  Usually people as small as him at least had some
speed to them.
     "Shane you need to calm down." Don said firmly.  "If you don't like me
anymore that's fine but you can't just start talking off to me like that."
he hated himself for keeping up the charade but knew he had to take drastic
measures as he was not so sure how long Shane would be able to hold out in
his isolated world without doing something rash that could mean him hurting
himself or bringing a gun to school and blowing away half the people in the
school which seemed to be the going thing as of late according to the
evening news.
     "I just want to be left alone." Shane said trying to jerk his arm
free.  "Why can't you people just let me alone?" his voice was taking on a
pleading tone which he did not like, but seemed incapable of stopping it.
"I don't do anything to any of you.  Why you gotta keep bugging me?" He was
on the verge of tears and prayed they would not come out.
     "I just wanted to be your friend Shane." he bit his lip hating what he
was about to say but was pretty sure he may set Shane off enough at this
point that he may spill at least part of a gut.  "I see that's not possible
with your feelings about my lifestyle..."
     "It's not that God Dammit." Shane turned on him his eyes wild and his
face red.  "I'm not offended or scared by that.  I'm the same way." He
turned his head away knowing instantly he had made a huge mistake without
even seeing Don's wide eyes and shocked expression.  He slapped his hand
over his face.  "Oh Fuck."  He muttered aloud grinding his hand down across
his face.
     "Are you telling me you are gay Shane?" Don asked despite the picture
he'd heard about he found this truly surprising.  Shane did not answer he
only turned himself fully away from him, his arm still in Don's grasp.
Taking his silence as a yes he lead him back to the chair and eased him
back down.  "Are you sure about this Shane?"
     His secret already out he saw no need to hide it further and hoped
since this man was the same way that the secret would be kept.  "Sure I'm
sure, I've been sure for a very long time."
     "Does your family know?"
     "My brother might." He shrugged figuring his brother did as he'd done
everything the last time he was fucked but come right out and tell him
     "Does anyone else know?"
     Shane shook his head. "And I sure would appreciate it if you would
keep your mouth shut about it." he was snapping again.  "I won't tell on
you but you shouldn't tell on me either.  Everyone already thinks it after
what that bitch did.  I wouldn't like it much if they got verification."
     "I wouldn't say anything Shane."
     He rubbed the back of his neck just wanting like hell to leave the
office.  "I need to go to class." he focused his eyes on the floor praying
Mr. Mason would say he could.
     "Don't you want to talk about this?"
     "No I don't want to talk about this.  It's what I am I can't change
that I've learned to live with it and since you don't have anything to do
with me I'd say you should just let it be."
     "I want to be your friend."
     Shane's anger swirled up around him.  "I don't want any damn friends."
this was a total lie but his strong feelings of everyone trying to trick
him were telling him not to be fooled by this man and his fake kindness.
He stood up from his chair.  "Please just let me go to class."
     Don nodded and Shane took off before he had the chance to say anything
else.  He went to the bathroom and swore at himself seeing the streaked
dirt all over his face.  He quickly washed his face and hands then went
pee.  As he walked out of the bathroom the bell rang announcing the end of
first period.  The halls filled and he was lost in a swarm of other kids.
He made his way to his locker then into his second class.
     He did not see Derek at all that morning and was glad of it.  At lunch
he got in the food line grabbed his tray and let them fill it with
everything they were offering.  He walked up to the cashier lady so she
could check him off on the free lunch list.
     "One fifty please." she looked up at him and Shane noted her look was
not the passive look it usually was today there was a definite spark of
mean ness there.
     "I get free lunch." he said glancing nervously at the girl behind him
who was rolling her eyes at him holding up the line.
     "What's your name?"
     "Shane Campbell." He looked down at her stack of papers as she flipped
through them apparently looking for his name, which he knew she would not
find.
     "You're not on the list."
     "I've always gotten free lunch lady.  What's the problem?"
     "Problem is your not on the list.  If you are not there then you don't
get free lunch." Her voice was now very cold.  "If you can't pay for this
then you need to leave it right here." She said pointing from the tray to
the empty end of her small table.
     Shane stood there for a moment not sure of what to do.
     "Come on Shane.  Some of us want to eat and we have the money to do
it."  The girl behind him sneered.
     Shane glanced back at her again then pushed his tray over to the empty
spot on the table and left the food line.  He wanted to leave the cafeteria
all together but knew that wasn't allowed so he walked over to his table
dropped his bag down onto and sat down.  He wanted to cry as lunch was one
of his guaranteed meals, well it always had been, now all he would have was
breakfast and wasn't sure he could be included in that if he couldn't have
free lunch anymore.
     The girl who'd been behind him in line passed with a couple of her
friends she pointed him out said something and they all started laughing at
him.  Shane pulled his bag closer to his chest and laid his cheek down on
it so he was facing the wall.  He did not see Derek or his friends get in
the line and did not see Derek looking at him his face looking very
concerned.
     Near the end of lunch by Shane's estimation as he did not dare turn
and look at the clock which was on the other side of the very full
cafeteria another woman who sometimes collected money sat down with him at
his table with some papers in her hand.  "I'm sorry Shane." She said as he
looked up at her.  "They've cracked down on our free lunch policy and we
can no longer give it out unless you are actually on the list."
     Shane looked back down at his pack and ran his finger along the
fraying material of the strap.
     "You can get on the list.  All you have to do is have your mother or
father sign these papers." She held them out to him and he took them
knowing his damn father would never sign them.  "I apologize for Rene's
behavior towards you in there.  It wasn't very nice of her not to explain
it to you."
     Shane's eyes widened a little at his second apology in two days he
looked away from her not wanting his flood gates to open again and folded
up the paper.  "What about the breakfast do I have to have this paper
signed for that too?" He asked tucking it into his bag.
     "No breakfast is free for everyone.  But don't worry you'll get your
lunch too, just get that signed."
     'Oh yeah no worries at all' Shane thought bitterly as he crammed the
useless papers into his pack he had to be grateful about the breakfast
though maybe he'd just have two boxes of cereal instead of one.  The bell
rang and he got up and left giving the woman who had sat with him a brief
nod before he took off.
     For the rest of the afternoon he wondered where he would sit in
Chemistry he did not want to sit by Derek but figured he would get in
trouble if he didn't.  He decided what he would have to do was just get
there real early sit in the spot she had told him the day before that way
Derek would be the one to get in trouble when he didn't sit by him.
     When he walked into The Bitches class he was about the fifth one there
and thankfully Derek was not one of them.  He walked over and took his seat
wrapping the strap of his pack around his ankle before he set it down on
the floor.  He opened his book on the table and leafed through til he was
on the page where they had left off.
     The class filled up and Derek walked in and joined Shane at the table.
Shane's blood ran cold not expecting this at all.  "I'm real sorry about
last night Shane." He said looking over at Shane who was refusing to look
up from his book.  "I can tell you are pissed. But it really wasn't my
fault.  One of the guys broke his wrist at practice and me being the only
one with a car had to take him to the hospital."
     Shane was not gonna fall for this, was determined not to fall for any
more tricks ever.
     "I'll make it up to you Shane.  Please don't be mad at me."
     Shane shot him a dirty look.  "I don't want you to make it up to me."
He said quietly as Derek had been talking real quiet too and he knew that
he didn't want them over heard.  "You didn't owe me anything.  Just let it
drop.  I don't want your damn help and I don't want to be your damn friend.
Just leave me the hell alone."
     Derek eyed him skeptically then turned his attention to the teacher as
she began her long boring class.  Derek did not try to speak to him again
and when the bell rang Shane got up and quickly left the room.  He decided
to go directly home so he could get in a shower before his father got home
from work he would also grab a couple extra layers of clothes incase his
father decided to kick him out again once he got home.
     Shane figured if maybe he hid in his bedroom and didn't make any noise
his father would probably not even know he was there and he'd be safe.
     When he walked into the park he saw Kelly's car pulling out with a
small U- haul trailer attached to the back.  His face brightened seeing
Austin flipping him the finger from the passenger seat of the car.  Not
that getting the finger was exciting to him what was exciting was
apparently he had decided to move out a little earlier.  Which meant what
he'd been waiting for, for years was finally here.  The day he would have
his own bed.  His father had better not kick him out tonight he thought as
he ran the rest of the way to the trailer and up the steps.  He opened the
front door closed it gently behind him making sure not to get too excited
and slam it since the thing was nearly falling off it's hinges.
     He hurried down the hall and opened his bedroom door.  His exclusive
bedroom door.  His mouth dropped open and tears immediately poured from his
eyes as he saw the room was completely empty other then his pile of clothes
in his corner of the room.  No bureau, no desk, no stereo but most
devastating no bed.  His bed was gone, the bed he'd dreamed for years on of
sleeping in.  The one that would help him to feel a little more like a
normal kid who got to sleep in a bed every night.
     He closed the door behind him then slid down it no able or wanting to
stop his tears.  He felt maybe he should know a bed was not that important
but the bed had been in his hopes and in his sights for so long he figured
he was more upset cause he'd been fooled again.  He was sure Buzz was
having a great laugh right about now and sure he must be picturing him
sitting there crying exactly like he was.
     He dropped down onto his side and pulled his knees up to his chest.
He kept his back pressed against the door so Buzz if he so chose could not
walk in and point and laugh at him in his miserable state.  He laid his
hand out flat on the floor and rested his head on it while his tears
continued full force down his cheeks.  He stayed in that position feeling
very sorry for himself for a good hour then realizing he still needed to
take a shower before his father got home he pulled himself up off the floor
and crossed the hall to the bathroom.
     He cried the whole time he was in the shower and it didn't stop until
he was back out toweled dry and redressed in some more clothes that he
realized were wet in several spots. He felt along the other clothes in the
pile on the floor realizing they were all wet.  He pulled one particularly
wet one up and gave it a good sniff.  He pulled his face back abruptly
smelling the strong reek of piss.  He stood back up and angrily ripped off
his clothes realizing his brother had pissed all over his clothes before
leaving.
     He'd have cried then too as it left him with nothing to wear, but his
tears had all been spent in the previous hour.  He dug through the bottom
of the pile and found one pair of pants that didn't seem to be wet in any
spot.  That at least would give him something to wear the next day he could
wear the same T-shirt he always kept his jacket on anyways.
     He opened his pack and pulled out the gray sweat pants and ripped at
the sleeve T-shirt that he'd only worn for an hour the morning before.  He
slipped those on then laid back down ready for his quiet night of
pretending he wasn't there.  He figured tomorrow he would go out and gather
more change for laundry cause now he was already home and figured if he
left and came back later he would only be kicked out again.  He did not
want to give his father that chance cause he was feeling lower then usual
and did not know how much more he could take on that particular day.
     He put his pack down behind where he was in the middle of the floor
where the bed had been.  He laid his head down on it and spread his arms
straight out across the carpet pushing his knees up in the air he started
his day dream.  The dream where he was a rich kid and both his parents were
alive.  He was an only child and received many hugs and kisses from his
parents every day.  He was star of the school diving team (which Prescott
Cove High did not even have) and his parents and grand parents cousins,
aunts and uncles always made it to everyone of his meets.
     His mother didn't work she stayed home and cleaned and baked all day
so when he got out of school and drove his not expensive but kinda fancy
looking car home there were always fresh baked treats for him to snack on.
When his father got home from the office they would all sit at the table
and enjoy a huge meal while they all discussed what eventful things had
happened during their days.  This meal however they discussed their trip to
Hawaii which they would be embarking on come February Vacation.
     He smiled there on the floor of his empty room as he pictured his
imaginary mother talking about how she wanted to go scuba diving to see the
beautiful coral reefs and his father picked on her as she could barely swim
in the deep end of their pool that was just out back.  The family dog a
German Shepard of course came lumbering up to the table.  He snuck it some
food and his mother yelled at him saying the dog was not to be fed at the
table.  She smiled at him after she yelled though so that was okay.  He
knew she was not really mad though she did not like the dog being fed at
the table it was a minor offense.
     In his dreams he looked much different of course.  He was tall and
strong and really rather handsome.  Girls swooned around him and he was not
gay but still could not picture him making out with any of these girls even
in his day dream.
     He opened his eyes much later and the room was pitch dark. He'd not
heard the sound of his father's truck come home which meant he was probably
at the bar.  He sat up suddenly hearing a knock coming from the front door.
He crawled over to the window and peeked out he squinted and realized it
was Derek's car.  He hid in a ball down below the window figuring he'd just
pretend he was not home.  When the knocking continued long after what
seemed like two minutes he figured he'd better get up and get rid of him
before his father caught him there.
     He pulled himself up off the floor and walked down the hall to the
kitchen where he flipped on the light then squinted in the sudden
brightness of the yellowed bulbs.  This light resulted in the knock on the
door only getting louder which annoyed him for some unknown reason, he
crossed to the livingroom and flipped on that light then pulled open the
door.
     He opened his mouth to yell out some vulgarity then closed it feeling
quite shocked to see Derek carrying a pizza box and two six packs of beer.
He looked from them to Derek's face surely looking very confused.
     "Can I come in?" Derek asked with almost a pleading look on his face.
     "No," Shane snapped.  "I can't have people over." shit he thought he
shouldn't have said that.  "I'm grounded still." yeah good cover.  "My dad
will be home any minute and if he catches you here I'll only be grounded
longer."
     Derek cocked his head to one side and studied Shane's face.  "Why are
you lying to me?" He asked making Shane nearly fall over from the heavy
sound of hurt in his voice.
     "I ain't lying."
     "Did you forget our fathers work on the same boat?  Did you not
realize that I know when they go out too?"
     Shane gripped the door handle tighter.  "What do you mean?"
     "They left this morning for another three days out.  I guess they
found some great spot and just came back long enough to unload their catch
then re supply themselves.  They won't be back now til Friday."
     Well Shane thought this was really great news.  He had the trailer to
himself for three days bed or no bed he had to be happy about it.
     Reading his look of surprise Derek squinted at him in confusion.
"Didn't you know?"
     Rather then him thinking he was lying Shane shook his head.  "I didn't
see my father last night.  He was in bed when I got home and in bed when I
left."
     "He didn't leave a note?"
     "I haven't looked." Shane stepped back from the door to let Derek in
only to get him off the subject of his father not telling him what was
going on which was no big thing to Shane but to Derek it apparently was.
     Derek smiled looking relieved and walked up into the trailer he set
the pizza and beer down on the coffee table and dug in his back pocket.  "I
brought you a little something."
     Shane closed the door and turned to him.  Derek pulled a clear plastic
bracelet from his back pocket and handed it over.
     Shane took it another shot of anger rushing through him.  "More junk
for me to add to my bag?" he asked glaring over at Derek.
     "Jesus you are touchy." Derek shook his head as he walked up beside
Shane he turned the bracelet around in Shane's fingers and pointed out the
name John Moore it also had his date of birth and some other information
which made no sense to Shane on a white piece of cardboard that was tucked
inside the bracelet.
     "Whose John Moore?" he asked only more confused now.
     "It's the guy I had to take to the hospital last night, it's his
hospital bracelet.  It's my proof that I was there and that was why I
couldn't meet you."
     Shane looked down at the bracelet and turned it over one more time in
his hand.  He couldn't believe Derek would go out of his way to prove
something to him, couldn't believe it would matter to anyone what he
thought about them.  He dropped his hand that was holding the bracelet down
to his side his miserable mood lifting some.
     "I thought we were going to go out to eat." He gestured absent
mindedly to the pizza box then kicked himself in the ass for knocking a
good thing.
     "Well I didn't figure you'd just come with me I figured I'd better
show up with a bribe so you'd let me in."
     Shane smiled despite his bad thoughts.  "Why do you care so much
Derek?  What suddenly changed to make you nice to me?"
     "I don't know," Derek shrugged as he rubbed his hands together
nervously.  He walked over to the coffee table cracked open a beer and
handed it over to Shane.  He then cracked one open himself and downed the
whole thing in about thirty seconds while Shane had taken only one sip.
He'd never had beer before and thought the taste was quite foul and it made
his nose tickle and eyes water for some reason and he did not like that
much at all.
     Derek crushed up the can and looked over to the kitchen.  "You got
recycling?"
     "Oh yeah we got all those fancy bins they are out in the garage with
the Corvette." Jesus, he thought, why am I being such an ass.
     Derek only laughed taking it as a joke so Shane faked a laugh too and
took a larger sip of beer.  "Just toss it anywhere, my dad usually tosses
his under the couch."
     Derek grinned and walked over to the couch he bent down and sent the
can sailing on under it.  He grabbed another beer and pointed to the couch.
"Can I sit down?"
     Shane nodded and walked into the kitchen.  He got some paper towels
then joined Derek on the couch leaving the middle cushion of space between
them.  He handed one to Derek who took it and opened the pizza box.  "I got
pepperoni I didn't know what you'd like."
     "That's good," Shane took the piece Derek handed him and started
wolfing it down having not eaten since breakfast the day before.
     "Wow you are hungry." Derek said chuckling.
     Shane felt his face grow hot in shame and forced himself to slow his
pace though that was real hard to do.  Shane drank two more beers in the
time it took them to eat the pizza if only to slow his piggish pace on the
food.  He was feeling very giddy with his first buzz on ever and decided
even though it tasted like shit he liked the effect.
     "Pizza and beer are not exactly the best diet to bulk up your
muscles." Derek said who was on his sixth beer.  "But I figured tonight was
special."
     "Why's it special?" Shane asked apparently the buzz on making him a
little braver too.
     "Cause we are together like for the first time." Derek was feeling the
effects of his six beers pretty well himself and slid over closer on the
couch.
     "You make it sound like we are dating." Shane said chuckling like
maybe what he considered a fool but he didn't care as he was feeling real
good.
     Suddenly Derek's hand was rubbing along Shane's thigh his great big
adonis of a hand stretching around both sides as the middle pressed down on
his seemingly puny and bony thigh.  He looked down past his beer at Derek's
hand and blinked sure it had to be some kind of illusion. While he was
looking down he did not see Derek lean over.  Shane jumped and drew his
head back as Derek's lips had closed in on his.
     Derek his lips still puckered drew back a little and looked at him.
"Do you not want this Shane?"
     Shane too shocked and buzzed for rational thinking just sort of looked
at him.
     Derek pulled his hand away and looked down at the floor.  He let out a
long sigh then stood up.  "I'm sorry," he said keeping his eyes on the
floor.  "I guess I was wrong.  You can keep the beer." Shane watched him as
he picked up his jacket from the chair and slipped it on.  He was at the
door before Shane found his voice.
     "Derek wait." He jumped up from the couch himself and latched onto his
arm not about to let this slip through his grasp.  "I'm sorry, you weren't
wrong, I was just kinda shocked.  I certainly didn't expect this was why
you were being nice to me."
     Derek turned back to him a look of joy so apparent on his face it
could be confused as nothing else.  He pulled his arm out of Shane's grasp
and cupped his hand over the back of Shane's head pulling their faces
together their lips met and caressed each other's for several mind exciting
and body tingling moments.  Shane's head swam as one of his day dreams
actually seemed to be coming true.  He could not imagine anyone taking a
prank so far to actually kiss the likes of him unless they actually wanted
to.
     Derek's other arm swam around his waist and over onto his back where
it swam up and down sending waves of excitement through Shane's skin not
sure what to do with his own hands he left one hanging at his side and
tucked the fingers of his other one up into Derek's front pocket pulling
him ever closer so their bodies were pressed together.
     Derek's hand slid up under the back of his shirt and Shane felt maybe
he was now floating a few inches off the floor in his elation to the soft
touch.  It was just as he'd dreamed it.  The soft touch he never felt it
was warm and inviting and made him feel good from his soaring mind to his
weightless and tingling feet.  Lost in the moment he brought his dangling
arm up around Derek's waist and ran it all along the back of Derek's pants
his thumb inside the waist band and his other fingers caressing the outside
of his pants feeling along that well defined studly ass.
     "Where's your bedroom?" Derek asked breathlessly his dick expanding
and pressing painfully against the rigid fabric of his jeans.
     Shane froze not sure of what to do as he couldn't exactly take him to
his room where there was nothing but a pile of piss covered clothes in the
corner.  He turned Derek around guiding him by the nudging of his forearm
around his waist.  He led him down to the end of the hall to his father's
room.  He separated from Derek and threw a blanket that was folded up in
the corner over the entire bed that was not made but he didn't much care at
that point.  "This is my dad's room, my bed's too small." he stopped a
chuckle as he was thinking his bed was so small you couldn't even see it.
"If we do it on this blanket he won't know any better."
     Derek smiled wanly and walked over and pulled Shane's shirt off.  He
then pulled off his own jacket and shirt.  Shane went so weak in the knees
seeing his bare muscular chest he sat down on the bed. His body and mind so
excited he did not care one bit that this was more then likely a one time
thing.  That after this was over Derek would probably never even look his
way again.  He was just gonna have something he'd always wanted and if
being ignored after the fact was how it had to be then he was still gonna
take it.
     Derek pushed Shane back on the bed with his strong hand against his
chest.  He pulled his sweat pants off in one long swipe.  He pushed Shane's
feet up onto the bed making his knees rise up in the air.  Derek put his
hands between Shane's thighs and pushed them apart exposing to him Shane's
well sized half hard dink laid over two purplish balls that seemingly ached
to be touched all protruding out of a dark crop of curly short pubic hair.
He got on his knees beside the bed and took the well sized dink deep into
his mouth and throat.
     Shane mashed his head deep into the mattress having never felt
anything so good in his entire life.  He knees fell further apart leaving
them inches above the mattress.  Derek's massive hands gripped his inner
thighs holding him in this sort of horizontal very low curtsy type of
position.  He moved his hand over under his back and pinched himself
underneath sure Derek would not see just to make sure this was all real and
not some really graphic extremely erotic dream.
     Derek's hands ran along his thighs while his mouth moved up and down
his cock.  The seconds stretched to minutes and Derek crawled up onto the
bed straddling Shane on his hands and knees.  He looked down into Shane's
eyes and smiled widely.  "This is even better then I expected." he lowered
his face Shane's and their lips met again.  Shane brought his arm out from
under his back and put on the back of Derek's neck the gentle caress of his
lips something he wanted to last forever.  He'd always dreamed of kissing
someone, even dreamed of kissing Derek and this was everything he ever
expected it to be.
     He moved his other hand down along Derek's well defined muscles along
his back his fingers exploring every intricate detail as he ventured slowly
down across the smooth skin of his back.  Their lips parted and their
tongues passed over into each others mouths.  Though the taste of Derek's
mouth was very much like the taste of the beer he had hated he did not mind
this one bit.  Their tongues mashed together seemingly wrestling for the
best vantage point.
     Derek pulled out of his mouth a moment later and dropped over onto his
back leaving one arm lying across Shane's stomach.  Shane his penis erect
and waiting for more action looked over into Derek's eyes which showed a
great deal of pleasure which aroused Shane even more.  "What's wrong?" he
asked very fearful he had done something wrong.
     Derek turned onto his side and faced him he brought his hand up from
Shane's stomach and stroked the side of his face.  "I got excited too
quick.  This is all new to me and I guess I couldn't control myself."
     Shane was confused for a minute then nodded a slow nod.  "If you want
I could give you a blow job to get it back."
     Derek's eyes lit up and he quickly lowered his pants then kicked them
off a foot at time.  He shimmied up the bed so his privates were even with
Shane's face.  Shane shivered his excitement at just seeing the Stud's
prick almost sending his load flying right out of his own dink.  It was
already wet with semen that was smeared on it's end.  Shane took a hold of
the base of it the bottom of his hand resting against Derek's balls while
his thumb and fingers closed gently around it.
     He closed his mouth around it his head swimming in pleasant thoughts
still not too sure of Derek's intentions in all this but having such a good
time he did not at this moment give a damn.  Derek moaned continuously
while Shane moved his lips and tongue up and down and all around his shaft,
His fingers curling snugly into Shane's hair.  After several minutes his
knee came up and Shane was pulled back by the fingers in his hair.
     They both sat up and looked into each others eyes Shane waiting for
the inevitable ball to drop.  "You want to go the rest of the way?" Derek
asked almost dreamily.
     Shane's eyes widened in pleasure as that was just what he needed now.
     "Do you have a condom?"
     Shane shrugged then shook his head.  "My dad might." he got up from
the bed and rummaged through his sock drawer where he'd thought he'd seen a
package while putting clothes away two nights earlier.
     "You've got a real nice ass." Derek said looking at the two perfectly
shaped bulging bulbs just aching to be stroked.
     Shane smiled widely down into the drawer this compliment not making
him angry at all.  He found the package and pulled out a foil wrapped
condom.  "How we gonna do this?" He asked turning around as he held up the
condom.
     "I ain't never had nothing up me before have you?" Derek asked
somewhat nervously.
     Shane looked down at the floor and sort of nodded.  He tossed the
condom over to Derek sensing he may like that position better since he did
seem nervous about the other.
     Derek slipped the condom on expertly and Shane figured he'd had plenty
of practice with all the jockettes.  He laid back down on the bed beside
him.  Derek gently rolled him up onto his side and put his arm down behind
his knees dragging them up along the bed towards his chest.
     "Should I do it with my finger first?"
     Shane wanted to chuckle at Derek actually asking the likes of him for
advice.  "You don't have to just make sure the condom is wet that could
hurt."
     Derek nodded and spit on his hand he rubbed it over his sheathed cock.
He gripped Shane's upper ass cheek in one big hand that covered more then
half of it and slid his thumb up into the crack pulling up he spread open
and peered down to his goal.  He moaned just seeing the puckered up hole
then aimed his dick in front of.  He pushed in slow Shane reveling in it's
ease and not the sharp jab he was accustomed to with Buzz.  Derek moaned
again above him as he let out a moan of his own as his asshole opened up
and Derek's shaft eased up in.
     "Oh God," Derek rolled his head back moving his hand from Shane's ass
cheek to his bicep and gripping it tightly.  "This is way better then some
damn Vagina."
     Though in his own cloud of ecstasy Shane chuckled at this as he moved
his hand up to Derek's arm.  He grasped it as Derek was grasping his bicep
and moved his hand up and down.
     Derek dropped forward again over Shane's stomach and shoulder he
pressed his forehead into the side of Shane's head just above his ear and
kissed down along his cheek and the side of his mouth.  Shane turned his
face upwards so the kiss landed fully on his mouth.  Their mouths opened
again and their tongues did their own dirty dancing while Derek's cock
forged on deeper and deeper into Shane whose body felt like it was opening
up inviting the much dreamed about visitor further and further inside of
him.
     Derek's hand dropped down off his shoulder ran down along his stomach
and wrapped its mighty self around Shane's rock hard member.  That was all
it took that gentle grasp Shane shuddered and trembled moaning past Derek's
dancing tongue as his dick short forth splattering along his knees and past
where he did not know as his eyes were tightly closed in this moment of
pure heaven.
     Derek shuddered and trembled above him he pulled his head up and let
out a wild moan of his own.  Though it was familiar to Buzz's wild cattle
call it did not repulse or bring on any bad feeling to Shane since with
Derek it was different in the fact he'd actually wanted this and had not
felt like a blow up doll to be used at his disposal at all in this venture.
     Derek dropped down behind him and Shane rolled over onto his back his
body still tingling from the remnants of his orgasm.  Derek laid an arm
over his chest and squeezed his hand around his rib cage between his side
and his arm.  "You won't tell anyone about this will you Shane?" he asked
minutes later.
     Shane looked over at him.  "Do you really think even if I did tell
that anyone would believe me?"
     Derek half smiled.  "Cause if it ever got out I'd be ruined.  I've
liked you like this for so long I've fantasized about you every night since
you started highschool last year." Shane looked intently into his eyes for
any sign that he was lying as he was sure he had to be.  "I never thought
in a million years you would be into guys.  But after that picture in class
the other day I just kept thinking on it more and more.  I had to find out
for sure you know?  So I wouldn't go on wondering what could have been the
rest of my life."
     Though Shane knew he shouldn't say it he did.  "I've fantasized about
you too Derek.  I never in a million years you would be into guys.  And
even if you had been I never thought you would be into me."
     "Why you so down on yourself all the time Shane?  You are very
handsome and I don't think you are as scrawny as you think you are. You've
got muscle you've got a nice shape.  You just need to put on some weight is
all.  And maybe not wear such baggy clothes so people could actually see
you had a body under your clothes."
     "We can't afford enough clothes so that I could be in style." Shane
cursed himself for his sarcastic sounding voice.  "I have no choice there."
He added in a gentler tone.
     "Well can't you eat more?"
     "I'll try."  Which was true half his time was spent trying to steal a
meal or planning it.  But after today he knew he was not even gonna get to
have lunch anymore and doubted his trying would result in anything.
     Derek ran his hand down along Shane's side and across his stomach.
"Will you come to my game on Friday?"
     "People are gonna know something's up if I show up at a game." Shane
was elated at this invite as it meant maybe this was not a one night thing
after all.
     "Well they don't gotta know you are there to see me.  I'll just know,
please?"
     Shane looked up at the ceiling and nodded not really wanting to but
wanting to make Derek happy he figured it would be worth opening himself up
for a night of teasing.
     Derek leaned down and pulled a blanket up around them both.  He
snuggled up next to Shane and put his cheek down on Shane's chest.  "Is it
okay if I spend the night?"
     "Sure," Shane said then grimaced as it sounded way too excited but
Derek didn't say anything and he figured he might be okay.
     They both fell asleep cuddled tightly into each other's arms.  The
next morning they took a shower together groping every part of each other's
body with their soap covered hands.
     They went to school and had their workout.  Shane kissed him good bye
as he left the weight room as he knew it was the last chance they'd have to
even talk the rest of the school day.