Date: Wed, 27 Jul 2005 07:33:51 -0400
From: Vance Lister <vlista20@hotmail.com>
Subject: Shane
Chapter 7
On Monday morning Donald Mason walked into his office to find Derek
Kirk sitting in one of the chairs in front of his desk. He looked like hell
and tears were streaking down his face.
He quickly closed his door behind him and set his briefcase down on
the floor. He sat in the chair beside Derek and put his hand on his
shoulder. "Son what's the matter?"
Derek shook his head and sobbed for a good minute. "I did something
real bad." He kept saying the same thing though worded somewhat differently
each time for a good three more minutes.
Donald sat patiently rubbing the boys back knowing he had to calm down
before he could get any information out of him. After a few more minutes
of crying and wiping his eyes he took a deep breath knowing he just had to
get it out. "I don't know where to start."
"Start at the beginning." Donald said having grown more and more
nervous in the last few minutes.
Derek took another deep breath and leaned over putting his elbows up
on his knees and his face in his hands. "I have been going out with Shane
Campbell for a couple months now."
Donald calmed his amazement and wiped at his mouth. "You mean you
were a couple?"
Derek nodded not moving his hands and let out another sob. "We kept
it a secret for both of our safety but everyone knew Shane was gay anyways,
so I guess it was just for my safety. On Saturday we all got drunk after
the game."
"Who all?" Don asked only growing more nervous.
"The team. Bart had a party at his house. Someone I guess had seen
me and Shane together and Rodney started hassling me about it. I told them
I wasn't gay and me and Shane weren't a couple but no one believed me. It
started out just joking around but then every one was suddenly real
serious."
Derek lowered his hands but continued to stare at the floor. "They
said if I weren't gay and weren't in love with Shane that I had to prove
it. We all left the house and hid out by the post office. Bart collected
all our change and dumped it in the road. We knew Shane would walk by
there cause we'd seen him in town on the way through and knew he had to go
past the post office to get home. Bart knowing how poor he was knew he
would stop and pick up the change so he threw it out like a trap."
He rubbed at his face and wiped at his tears again then continued. "I
drove one of the cars back."
"Wait a minute." Don said needing to control his panic to get the
whole story. "What happened with Shane?"
"They beat him up and dragged him into the other car. We had two cars
with us. We took him back to the house and dragged him into Bart's
father's game room." Derek's shoulders shook with more sobs before he
could continue. "We beat on him all night long. They threw pool balls at
him and shoved a pool stick up his ass. Fucked him with it for like hours
while hitting, and kicking him. They stuffed a sock in his mouth so no one
could hear him screaming but after a short while I don't think he could
have screamed he looked half dead."
Donald who was clutching the arms of his chair so tightly his fingers
had gone numb cleared his throat in an attempt to squelch his anger as he
knew there were more important things to attend to right then.
"Where's Shane?" He said keeping his voice even as possible.
"I took him home." Derek cried heavily again. "I tried to get his
pack but they had thrown his stuff all over the place one guy jerked off to
the picture of his mother right near Shane's face then came all over it.
When I got him out of there I had to do it fast. I didn't have time to get
his stuff."
"Is he home now?"
"I guess, he has to be. He'd be in no condition to move. They beat
him real bad." Derek turned his tear covered face to Mr. Mason. "I'm
sorry, I should have stuck up for him."
Rather then tell Derek exactly how low what he'd done was he asked
another question. "Have you seen him since Saturday?"
"No, He won't let me in. He locked the door sometime after I left
yesterday morning after dropping him off and now he won't open it back up.
He could be dead in there for all I know, that's why I'm coming to you. I
don't know what to do. Someone has to see if he's okay."
"Where does he live?" Don asked wanting to waste no more time.
"In the trailer park on the edge of town. On the main road the real
dumpy one. I can show you."
"No you go home. You stay there til you hear from me. And believe me
you are going to hear from me."
"He's the fourth trailer in on the left blue one."
Don left the room before he could say more of what was on his mind
or Derek could say anything more.
He cried the whole drive out to Shane's house not even able to imagine
how horrific what he'd been through on Saturday night was and praying Shane
was still alive. He sped into the park and stopped at the fourth trailer.
He jumped out of his car and ran up the steps where he pounded on the
door. There was no answer and he studied the door seeing it was barely
holding onto it's hinges Don grabbed onto the knob put his all into it and
gave it three hard tugs. The door broke free and Don pried it away from
the opening enough to squeeze through. He saw Shane on the couch the
minute he walked in and hurried over and knelt in front of him.
His face cheek down on the cushion was a mass of bruises his eyes and
tops of his cheeks and bridge of his nose seemed covered in the same bruise
while other smaller ones ran along his forehead down to his neck. Don's
tears only burned out more ferociously as he studied Shane's chest for
movement. Seeing it slowly rise and fall he breathed a small sigh of
relief and slowly began the process of waking him up.
It was on the third nudge Shane jerked back from him his head lifted
off the couch. "Don't you touch me Derek. I don't want nothing to do with
you." Though his words were strong words his voice was no louder then a
whisper and Don figured the many bruises on his neck may have something to
do with that.
"Shane it's me Donald. Mr. Mason." He croaked it out realizing that
Shane's eyes were swollen shut that he was completely blind to the world
here alone after being brutally beaten and raped without even being able to
see if there were danger around.
Shane's hand reached out and touched Don's face. "Mr. Mason," he said
his weak voice breaking. "Mr. Mason," He shook his head and tears slipped
out between his swollen eye lids. "I'm scared."
Don let out a sob and pulled himself up onto the couch. He pulled
Shane up into his arms and held him close careful to hold him gently as he
imagined his whole body looked as bad as his face.
Shane adjusted himself up onto his hip and dissolved into man's arms.
Not caring if he deserved it and not caring if he looked needy. He was
real scared, he had spent the last 24 hours thinking he was going to die
and praying the people that had attacked him would not come back to finish
up the job. For a while he'd not even known where he was as he'd had no
recollection of getting back to his house or how he even got there.
He'd even prayed for his father to come home. So that way he'd at
least have some normalcy and not feel so much like he was adrift in the
middle of the ocean with no life vest.
"Where's your dad Shane?" Don asked stilling holding Shane's limp body
close to his.
Shane turned his face out of Mr. Mason's chest and leaned his cheek
against his shoulder. "He's fishing."
"How long is he gonna be gone?" Don could not believe that the boys
father would go off and leave him in such a miserable state.
"I don't know they are usually gone three or four days."
"How long has he been gone?"
"Since yesterday morning."
"Your gonna come home with me then." he could also not understand how
his father could go off three or four days a week and leave his fifteen
year old son home completely alone in a trailer that was falling apart.
Shane felt a great relief at this news. Though he still didn't trust
the man fully he had an instinct that the man would not hurt him and
hopefully protect him from anyone that would. "I can't walk." He said
though it shamed him a great deal to say it.
"I'll help you." he moved Shane away from him while still supporting
his chest and back. "Have you been laying here since yesterday morning?"
"I don't know how long I've been here." Shane lowered his head not
sure why he did since he could not see the man anyways. "Maybe I can walk
I just need you to help me."
Don nodded and stood up from the couch he eased Shane up into a
standing position and held him there while Shane steadied himself on his
legs. "Does it feel like anything is broken Shane?"
He shook his head not sure what anything broken would feel like. His
most severe pain was from his ass up to the lower parts of his stomach
which was what kept him hunched over while he grasped onto Mr. Mason's
waist. He felt one of the man's arms go under his chest and the other go
over his back. They hobbled out to the car this way Shane whimpering most
of the way.
He heard Mr. Mason open the car door and felt around so he wouldn't
smash into it. Once his hand was on the door he sort of froze. "I gotta
get in the back." He said quietly. "I can't sit up."
Don let out a long slow breath knowing Shane should be taken to the
hospital he had to get his head straightened out first though. He was not
yet sure the route to take in this situation and figured to be safe he'd
just take Shane home and have he and Tad's friend a woman who was a doctor
come over and check Shane out.
He opened the back door of the car and Shane felt around and got his
bearings then crawled in curling up on his side in the back seat. Don
tucked his feet up in the car then closed both the front door and the back
door. He looked up at the broken door to the house and figured he'd also
better get a handyman out there to fix the door before all the pipes in the
trailer froze.
He hurried around the front of the car knowing Shane was of the utmost
priority at that moment. On his way home he called Tad who he knew was at
work and told him to meet him there. Fifteen minutes after he got Shane
settled in a spare bedroom of their home Tad walked in.
"What's wrong?" he asked the minute he saw Don coming down the stairs.
"It's Shane." Don's tears starting all over again. "The whole fucking
basketball team gang raped him on Saturday night. Beat him into oblivion
then fucked him with a pool stick."
Tad gasped and took Don whose crying was real heavy into his arms.
"Did you bring him here?"
Don nodded against Tad's chest. "I didn't know what else to do. I
don't want to take him to the hospital cause I don't know yet if this
should get out."
"Of course it should get out Don. Those people can't get away with
this."
Don drew out of Tad's arm and shook his head. "Then what's gonna
happen to Shane? He's stuck in that town Tad. There's no way out for him
if those other kids catch wind that it was him that was attacked and
pressed charges they would kill him. They all already hate him and if he
brings down the whole sports program they would never let him live. Shane
doesn't want to press any charges anyways I asked him that on the way
home."
Tad let out a long sigh and he rubbed his hands up and down Don's
arms. "I hear what you are saying. He needs to be checked out though, to
make sure he's okay."
Don nodded knowing Tad would argue further on the subject of pressing
charges just that he was nice enough not to do it while Don was so
distressed.
"How is he now?"
"He's real sore, he can't stand up he can't sit up. His eyes are
swollen shut and he's covered in bruises. When he found out it was me at
the house he told me he was scared. You and I both know him enough to know
for him to say that he must really be feeling it."
Tad nodded and looked worriedly up the stairs. "Why don't you call
Shawna I'm gonna go up and see him."
Shane tugged the blankets up around his neck feeling only marginally
safer as he could not see his surroundings. The smell though was there
that homey smell he'd smelt the last time he'd been there that had made the
place seem so inviting. His panic was easing enough so that his brain was
slowing down not racing as it was with flashes of horrible things being
done to him things he did not know whether they actually happened or not as
Saturday all seemed like one horrific bad dream that kept replaying in his
head. A dream that he knew had to be partly true from the pain he was
feeling all over his body.
The pain in his mind was not all from physical pain. Derek's smiling
face had flashed through several times in his dream but the smile had
always faded replaced by an angry sneer as he called out insults along with
everyone else and laughed at his pain while he'd writhed on the floor even
inflicted physical pain of his own. He hadn't believed Derek had loved him
but still had never thought he would ever take part in hurting him so
badly.
His body jerked in the bed hearing someone come into the room jarring
every aching part of his body.
"It's okay Shane. It's just me Tad."
He un-tensed his body and felt the mattress sag as Tad's weight was
added to it. "I heard you had a rough weekend." Tad's hand picked his up
and squeezed it gently Shane squeezed back feeling just a bit safer. He
felt Tad's hand stroking his hair and cheek and nestled into the touch
pressing Tad's hand down into the pillow with his cheek.
"She'll be here in ten minutes." Don said walking into the room. "Is
he asleep?"
"No," Shane said though he felt well on his way. "Who's gonna be
here?"
"A doctor friend of ours." Tad answered squeezing his hand a little
tighter. "She's just gonna check you out and get you feeling better."
"I really don't want no one looking at me." his voice was quiet as he
did not feel like he was in any position to make requests.
"It'll be okay Shane. She's not gonna hurt you. She just needs to
make sure you're okay." Tad looked at Don sure his eyes were displaying
the desperate feeling his heart was full of. Don sat in a chair near the
bed and chewed on his nails while Tad stayed where he was holding Shane's
head and hand.
They were still in that position when Shawna walked into the room.
"Shane." She said putting her hand down on the boys forehead. "My name is
Shawna I'm just gonna check you over okay?"
Shane did not answer as he did not want to be checked over but didn't
dare speak up and say so. He opted just to stay silent. Shawna looked
from Tad to Don. "Maybe it would be best if it was just the two of us in
here."
Shane panicked a bit at this then panicked a little more as Tad's
hands left his body and he heard there footsteps retreating from the room.
The mattress sagged again and he turned his face down to the direction of
it. Another hand stroked his cheek this one softer then any he'd ever felt
he'd heard 'a women's touch' mentioned before but never knew what was so
special about it. It was definitely different though. Much softer and
maybe a little gentler it immediately reduced his panic and he thought
maybe that was all it needed to do to be special.
"What hurts hon?"
"Pretty much everything. My legs and arms don't hurt much but
everything else does."
"Does anything inside hurt?"
Shane put his hand against his stomach. "I got pretty bad cramps."
"Have you gone to the bathroom since this happened?"
He felt his face go hot as he had indeed not in the bathroom
however. He slowly nodded figuring if she was gonna check him out she'd see
that for herself.
"Did you pee or did you poop? Or both?"
Shane's eyes would have widened at the question had he been able to
open them. "Just peed."
"Have you felt like you had to poop? Like maybe that's what the cramp
is from?"
"No," he hadn't eaten since Friday morning at school and didn't figure
he had a poop anywhere in him.
"I'm gonna take your shirt off okay?"
Shane didn't say anything but managed to nod as this lady was not
making him nervous at all in fact just her presence had calmed him a great
deal. She gently removed his shirt moving his actual body very little in
the process. She ran her fingers all over his chest then all over his
back. "Doesn't feel like anything's broken just good and bruised by the
looks."
She stroked his cheek again and he heard her sigh. "I'm going to need
to check out your rectum Shane. I'm worried cause of what they did to you
and the fact you have cramps I need to make sure there's nothing seriously
wrong in there."
"What did they do to me?"
"You don't remember?"
"I just remember it hurt something really hurt down there." He said
feeling very shamed.
"They put a pool stick inside you."
"What's a pool stick?" he asked as more shame raced through his ever
awakening mind.
"From the game, pool, where you knock balls into holes."
Shane thought of other balls and other holes before he realized what
she was talking about. "You mean on a green table?" he'd seen that on TV
before too.
"Yes,"
He didn't say anything wishing he hadn't asked what they did to him
though it certainly explained why he was in so much pain. He felt her
easing off his pants and though he in no way wanted anyone's fingers up his
ass at that point he was worried something was really wrong and hoped she
would be able to ease his fear after checking him out.
He felt her stand up then move to the other side of the bed the
mattress sagged again there just below his exposed butt and he heard some
other noises he couldn't decipher. "You ready?" she asked after a moment.
He nodded and gripped the edge of his pillow tightly he cried out the
moment her finger went in and continued to cry the whole time it was there
feeling around against the whole very sore insides of his ass. The burning
continued even after she pulled her finger back out but his crying stopped
his deep breaths getting it under control. "I'm sorry about that hon. I
didn't feel any major problems. Just a lot of swelling and bruising. I'd
say the cramps are because your lower intestine is swollen causing a lot of
pressure in the area. As soon as the swelling goes down the pain will ease
up. I'll give Don and Tad some pain pills to make you more comfortable in
the meantime."
She got up and walked back around the bed. "Your groin is real
bruised too, do you know what happened there?"
"I got kicked a lot." He had got kicked so many times he could not
decipher where any of the kicks actually landed.
His head turned in the direction of an unsnapping sound. "I've got
some Codeine with me. It will put you to sleep and make you pretty numb
all over. I imagine you are in a lot of pain. I'll bring something back
that's not quite so strong tomorrow morning. For now though and tonight I
want you to take this." He heard some more noise up for anything that would
make him sleep.
She put her hand under his cheek and eased his head up. "It's a
liquid. I have it in a little cup."
Shane reached out his hand for it and she placed it between his thumb
and forefinger. He put it to his lips and took it back like his father
would a shot of whiskey.
"It may make you a little nauseous but don't worry it won't make you
throw up. You'll be asleep most of the time anyways."
"Thank you." He said truly meaning each word as he wanted nothing more
then to sleep and disappear from this world if only for a while. She ran
her hand over his hair and cheek again. "I'll come see you tomorrow." He
felt her leave the mattress and heard her walk over to the door. He
adjusted himself just a little on the very comfortable bed and settled in
for sleep.
Shawna walked back downstairs and into the dining room where Tad and
Don were sitting around the table their hands clasped together and lying
between them on the table.
Don looked up at her nervously and watched while she sat down at the
table. "I don't see or feel any life threatening injuries. He's just
gonna be in a lot of pain for a while. He'll need to stay in bed for at
least three days, I don't imagine he's gonna feel at all like getting up
anyways. I gave him some codeine." she reached back into her bag and
produced a half empty small bottle. "Give him the rest of this say at nine
tonight. If he's asleep let him sleep just give it to him whenever he
wakes up."
She put her hand down on the table and traced her finger along the
table's intricate design. "Something else besides his injuries has got me
worried." She looked up at them and sighed. "He's awful skinny. His
stomach is all caved in. I don't think he eats anywhere near what he's
supposed to. Do you think maybe he's anorexic?"
"I think it's just cause his family's real poor. I always seeing him
eating breakfast at school. We have a free breakfast program." Don
thought for a minute and remembered seeing Shane in the cafeteria at least
three times that month at lunchtime with no tray on his table. "He doesn't
eat lunch though I don't think, I'm not sure why. I'm sure he qualifies
for free lunch."
"Well he needs to eat more. It's not healthy for him to be so skinny.
I realize you are not his parents but can you see what you can do?"
"Of course." Tad who'd been staring worriedly at a wall spoke up.
"How long are you gonna keep him here? I need to check on him
tomorrow too."
"He'll be here tomorrow for sure, I'm not sure how long he'll be here.
His father's a fisherman and not home right now, Shane said he's usually
out three or four days. I'm not taking him home til someone else will be
there."
"Okay, I'll see you guys tomorrow say around noon then?"
Don nodded not planning on going to work for the next few days
anyways. Shawna left and Tad started in on telling the police.
"I'm not gonna do it Tad." Don shook his head knowing he had to look
out for Shane only in this situation not what was right and what was wrong.
"The boy's been through enough. If he wanted to it would be different but
he doesn't want to."
"He doesn't know what's best for him." Tad countered.
"No he does." Don snapped. "He probably knows better then anyone.
He's been taking care of himself for fifteen god damn years. I think he
knows how by now." He took a deep breath knowing he was getting too angry
and at the wrong person. "You just don't know what those kids at that
school are like. They've bullied him since I've been there. They've beat
on him and teased him mercifulesly. If he could leave there it would be
different but he can't."
"Why do they tease him so? He's a nice kid. He's nice looking what has
made him stick out for such abuse?"
"Cause he's so poor I imagine. He wears old ratty clothes that are
way too big for him and often times they are real dirty. He sometimes
wears the same clothes for as long as a week and he never takes his jacket
off god only knows why. He's real quiet and it's recently gotten out that
he's gay. I told you about that damn teacher right?"
Tad nodded his eyes closing momentarily as he clasped his hands
together and put them up to his mouth. "You don't have to stay home with
him. It's easier for me to get time off since I'm the boss. I'll stay
home and take care of him."
Don nodded glad he offered. "I'm staying home tomorrow though. I
can't face those fucking kids right away."
Don called Derek later that afternoon not wanting to but needing to
ask him a few questions. He told Derek that Shane was in fact alive but
was not in very good shape. He didn't feel as though Derek deserved to
hear any of this but was asked so many times he had to relent so he could
get his questions asked.
"Do you know when his father will be home?"
"He works on the same boat as my dad." Derek was crying obviously but
still easy to understand. "They won't be home til Friday. They're coming
in tomorrow morning just to unload but going right back out they won't even
have time to leave the wharf."
"I broke the door off Shane's trailer do you suppose you could go over
and fix it since you aren't in school today?"
"Yeah sure, can I come see Shane?"
"No," Don said abruptly having no intention of letting him anywhere
near Shane while Shane was in his house. "What you did was absolutely
unforgivable Derek if I had my way you would never see him again." There
was a lot of crying through the phone now but Don did not care Derek
deserved the misery he was feeling now that was something he was sure of.
He hung up not even wanting to hear it.
Shane woke up only long enough to get more medicine that day and slept
until three o'clock in the afternoon the next day. Don had changed him
into a pair of his flannel pajamas shortly after Shawna had left the day
before. He'd cried while removing his clothes seeing and smelling that
Shane had wet his pants some time in the last 24 hours as his heart could
not take much more sadness and seeing Shane had done that had only made
what he'd been through seem more horrific and real.
Don sat on the edge of the mattress and Shane turned his face over to
him. "Do you know where my back pack is Mr. Mason?" he asked his voice a
little stronger.
"No son, I'm sorry I don't. It was taken away from you at the party
and I think the contents were probably destroyed."
Shane's hand curled up onto his chest and his lip quivered followed
shortly by tears streaming out of his eyes. He could not believe all his
things were just gone. Gone at the hands of people who he knew could never
appreciate their value and would just destroy them to be mean to him.
Don's eyes smarted as he ran his fingers through Shane's hair. "We'll
get you a new pack Shane. That one was getting pretty old anyways. And
we'll find some more stuff for you to put in it."
"It won't be my stuff." he was crying even in his voice and he hated
himself for it but the loss of his stuff for him was like someone else
losing a loved one. Something he did not have so he put his love into the
stuff he'd collected.
"We'll get you another picture of your mom too. I'm sure you dad has
more."
Shane let out a sob a vivid memory flashing in his head of what had
happened to his mother's picture. "Why they gotta do that to my mom?" his
voice was pleading and he hated that even more then the crying. "They
didn't even know her."
His tears now falling freely Don took a deep breath. "I'm sorry son,
they were just being real mean. They were trying to hurt you in every way
possible and apparently felt that would be a good way."
Shane moved his hand down off his chest and felt around for
Mr. Mason's hand he wanted human contact now, he'd craved it in his few
conscious moments very strongly in the past two days and figured it may
have something to do with not being able to see.
Don met his hand in it's search with his own and squeezed it tightly.
"You can't ask my dad for another picture." Shane said quietly knowing he
had to try and word this carefully but knowing Don could not ask his father
or he would find out just how his father was for himself.
"Why not?"
"He didn't know I had that one." oh he wasn't starting out to well he
thought angrily. "He doesn't like having any memory of her around it's too
painful for him." yeah that was a little better. "And Mr. Mason?" he
turned his face in the direction he could feel him sitting in and where he
guessed his face would be.
"What is it son?"
"You can't tell him what happened either. He would just get real mad
and he's already got a lot on his mind."
"Shane he needs to know, it's not right not to tell him."
"He doesn't need to know," his mind was thinking desperately knowing
his father would never let him live it down if he found out he did not want
his father ever finding out. "I'll be okay soon as I can see again. It's
not fair to worry him over nothing." he thought it was far from nothing as
he felt as violated as he was feeling physical pain though the codeine had
helped in that area a lot.
"Alright Shane." Don relented going on his needing to think of Shane
first instinct. "I won't tell him. He's not gonna be back til Friday. I
think you should stay here at least til Monday if you don't want him to
know then he's not gonna be able to take care of you. I'll just tell him
you are staying here for a few days."
"You don't gotta tell him. I go out all the time and don't tell him."
"Okay," Don said this just to appease Shane as he had to tell his
father where he was before the man called the police out to hunt for him
and he and Tad were brought up on child abduction charges or something.
He went to the docks the next day to ask around about when Nick Kirk's
boat was due in. The harbor master was in his little glassed in house and
he knocked on the window.
"Yuh?" the man with a cigar hanging out of his mouth asked after
yarning open the window.
"I need to know when Nick Kirk's boat is due back in."
"It's already in." the man pointed to the far end of the dock to an
old boat that was just tying onto the dock. "Got here two minutes ago."
Don nodded and thanked the man then walked down past several other
boats to the end of the dock where Nick's boat that was named by red
peeling letters 'the morning star' was now all tied up. He walked up to
Shane's father whom he'd met a couple months earlier in his office.
"Mr. Campbell."
"What?" He snarled from his bent over position not even looking to see
who it was. "I'm Mr. Mason, Shane's principal."
Roger Campbell stood up and swung around with fire in his eyes. "What
the fuck did that boy do now?"
"Nothing sir, nothing at all."
"Why in hell you bugging me then, cain't you see I'm working?" He
pulled his nearly gone cigarette out of his mouth and flung it in the water
where it fizzed and died out.
"I just wanted to let you know sir," Don said trying not to sound as
nervous as this man was making him. "That Shane is gonna be spending the
weekend with me. So he won't be home when you get back. If of course
that's okay."
"I don't give a fuck." Roger let out a sharp laugh then a hacking
cough. "He didn't come begging to you or nuthin' did he?"
"No of course not I offered."
Roger nodded and heaved a crate. "Good for him. I'd give him a good
hiding if I caught him out begging. We don't do that in my family."
Don narrowed his eyes in confusion thinking a hiding was only a word
used in shows like little house on the prairie. "Well okay then. I'll
bring him home on Monday then."
Roger only snorted then walked off with the crate.
Don walked back up to his car only much more sure of his feeling that
Shane got very little, if any, love at home.
"Mr. Mason wait."
He turned from his car to see Derek hurrying over to him. "What is it
Derek?" he asked coldly.
"How is Shane?"
"He's doing a little better."
"Can you please let me see him? I'm leaving town and I need to
apologize to him before I do."
"Why are you leaving town?"
"Well that's why I'm here to tell my dad. I talked to my mother last
night and told her all that was going on and that I was gay. She said I
could come down there and live til things calmed down here."
A shot of rage ran through Don and he gripped his door handle tightly.
"Oh that's real nice Derek. You personally get your supposed boyfriend
beaten and raped even help them along then you get to tuck your tail
between your legs and get away from here while Shane is gonna have to stay
and face all those people that attacked him all alone. You are one hell of
a great catch. You god damn fuck."
Derek's eyes widened and tears burned down his cheeks. "I love Shane.
I just can't stay here."
"You have no idea what love even is Derek. I don't want you anywhere
near him. You leave go where your safe. I'm sure he doesn't want to see
your face ever again anyways." Before he could say more he opened his car
door got in then slammed it behind him. He backed out of the parking space
and sped off leaving Derek staring after him.
He went to work and stayed in his office the entire day ringing his
hands together and fuming at the rapists he knew were wandering the halls
without a care in the world. He knew if he wandered out among the students
he would have taught them all a lesson himself and ultimately lose his job
which he suddenly hated very much but knew he had to keep.
When he got home that night he was very pleased to see Shane lying on
the couch down in the livingroom his swollen eyes partially open and
watching TV. He walked over and sat down in front of his stomach and put
his hand on his shoulder. "Can I talk to you for a minute Shane?"
Shane held out the remote and flicked off the TV. "This cable
business is really cool I had no idea there were so many channels." He
half smiled as he'd spent the whole afternoon just flipping channels and
not stopping to watch a single show.
"You don't get cable at your place?"
"No we just get channel two and that's doesn't come in well. I don't
watch much TV." He gingerly rolled onto his back and looked up at his
principal who he was growing to like very much and wished he hadn't pushed
him away so much over the past two months. "What do you want to talk to me
about?"
"I want to talk to you about your father. I want to know how you two
get along."
"You didn't talk to him did you? I asked you not to tell him."
Shane's voice was panicky and on the edge of anger.
"I didn't tell him anything that happened to you. I only told him you
were staying with me. He didn't care and that's got me concerned."
"Well there's nothing to be concerned about Mr. Mason. He's just real
busy like I said." Though he was trying hard to be convincing he knew he
could never convince himself. His father didn't care one bit and he was
painfully aware of that.
"You don't have to call me Mr. Mason while you are at my house Shane.
Here you can call me Don."
Shane sort of grinned. "I never knew your first name."
"Most kids don't." Don grinned back at him wondering how in hell the
kid could grin at this point in his life. "Does your father spank you
Shane?"
"Oh my God why are you asking me that?" Shane was alarmed so alarmed
he did not realize the abruptness of his question.
"Cause he said if you had asked to stay here he was gonna give you a
hiding."
"You said I didn't ask though right?" he was panicking now at the
threat of a hiding and not paying attention to his cover.
"He does then?"
Shane regained his thoughts. "Well no he just threatens it sometimes.
He's never really hit me 'cept when I was little. I guess maybe I'm too
old now for him to throw me over his knee." His father had never thrown
him over his knee at all, his father was always the strap 'em to the bed
type even the Buzz had been gotten a few hiding's when he was younger Shane
had sat in his room smiling from ear to ear hearing his brothers screams
coming from the bedroom. It was such a rare occasion compared to his
frequent visits to the room he totally reveled in each and every few that
the buzz got.
"So you are happy living at home then?"
Shane shrugged and nodded. "No one's real happy at their home are
they?"
"Well there are different degrees of happiness."
"Well I just wish we had more money. Other then that I guess I'm
doing okay."
"How come you haven't been eating lunch lately?"
Shane turned his head to one side and ran his hand along the back of
the couch. "They changed the lunch program. I always used to get free
lunch but then one day about a month ago they said I wasn't on the list.
That I couldn't get it if I wasn't on it. They gave me some papers for me
to have my dad sign but as you saw today he doesn't like me begging so he
didn't sign them."
"It's not begging Shane, it's a program put together just to help
families out."
"Well my dad doesn't see it that way." Shane looked back at him and
shrugged. "It's alright though I still get to have the free breakfasts."
That weekend was by far Shane's best weekend ever now that the ones
with Derek did not count anymore. He felt very lonely knowing he would
never be with Derek again and still very hurt at what Derek had done to
him. But by Saturday morning most of his physical pain was gone and he
spent most of the day playing card games with Tad and Don while they ate
all kinds of good food and drank hot chocolate. Don had broached the
subject of Derek a few times but Shane had only shaken his head and
apparently that was all the hint needed to let Don know he did not want to
talk about him.
The news that Derek had left town left him feeling somewhat relieved
cause he had a good feeling that if he'd seen Derek and Derek had
apologized like he always did he would have gone running right back into
his arms. He didn't want to do that but knew his will power was not too
good and his need to feel wanted and cared for too great.
Chapter 8
On Monday afternoon Don picked him up after he got home from work and
took him back home. "You can come over and visit anytime you want Shane."
he said patting his knee as they drove back into town seeing Shane did not
look like he wanted to go home at all. "I'm inviting you right now, an
open invitation so it won't be begging if you show up anytime you want."
Shane nodded as he stared out the window knowing he would never just
show up at the man's house. He'd had a great time once he was back on his
feet and really like both Tad and Don but was not or would never be
comfortable enough with anyone to just show up like that.
Shane contained his long sigh seeing the old rust bucket in the
driveway. "You can drop me off right here." He said quickly. "I want to
say hi to the dog."
Don nodded and stopped the car looking over at the dog who was staring
back at the car not barking at all. He figured if the dog barked every
time a car came past he wouldn't have lasted long in the park anyways.
Shane thanked him profusely then got out and over to the dog which
jumped up on him like Shane himself was the dog's owner and had missed him
terribly over the last week.
Don backed out of the park road and honked his horn while Shane waved
as he took off back down the main road. Shane played with Shep only a few
minutes before a truck pulled into the parking lot and stopped. Shane
quickly rounded the fence so he'd be in Shep's line of protection and
looked back at it fearfully. Nick Kirk stepped out and walked up to the
fence. "Can I talk to you Shane?" His voice was quiet and not mean so
Shane exited the fenced in area. "Can we go for a ride?"
"I don't want to." Shane said shaking his head not wanting to willing
get in any vehicle where he was not absolutely sure of it's drivers
intentions.
"Well just let me park this in a better place and we can go for a walk
then how's that?"
Shane nodded figuring that may be okay. Nick parked his truck in an
abandoned trailer's driveway then rejoined Shane they walked out onto the
road and headed west. "Derek told me about the two of you. I must say I
was totally shocked."
Shane tensed some but Nick's voice still seemed very kind so he kept
his stride alongside him while keeping alert so he could run at the first
hint of danger. "I had no idea he was gay, I had no idea you were gay. I
have no problem with that Shane I didn't want to talk to you so I could
degrade your lifestyle." They reached a roadside turn out that doubled as
a small rest area that was just down the road from the park. Nick sat down
at one of the picnic table facing away from the actual table and Shane sat
down beside him.
"Derek also told me what he and the rest of the basketball team did to
you. That shocked me even more. I didn't think my son had it in him to be
so cruel. He also told me he'd hit you several times before that. He said
he didn't know why he just got real mad and did it before he could think on
it."
Nick looked over at the road and was silent for a few minutes. "I
came down real hard on him. But I think looking back he already knows how
bad what he did was. His mother who he's living with now has got him into
a program for kids that are violent. He's miserable after what he did to
you. And we are both afraid he may do something real stupid."
Shane looked over at the woods wondering why he was being told all
this and feeling concerned that Derek would do something stupid. "I don't
want to talk to him sir, I'm sorry but I just can't."
Nick nodded and laid his hand down on Shane's thigh squeezing it
gently. "I understand that son, and I in no way am gonna push it on you.
What he did was despicable he just keeps asking to talk to you and I had to
give it a shot. Believe me I feel like a real heel just coming to you with
this. I imagine you've got enough pains of your own to deal with right
now." Nick turned his body towards Shane and took both of hands into his
own. "I'm so sorry Shane. I never thought my son would add to the many
troubles you already have. I thought he was a good boy, I thought I had
raised him well."
Shane's throat constricted seeing tears coming down Nick's cheeks.
"Derek was good sir, he was very kind to me most of the time. I knew he
had a big heart he took good care of me. He was just real scared of
someone finding out." He lowered his head thinking he felt more strongly
about that then he felt about him. Something he should have known all
along but didn't.
Nick shook his head unable to believe this boy who'd been so terribly
violated was actually sticking up for his violator. They sat in silence
for a few more minutes. "When are you guys going back out?"
"Tomorrow morning."
Shane nodded with relief. "I'll think more on talking to Derek. I
just can't right now."
Nick nodded. "You don't force yourself Shane, I don't blame you one
bit for how you feel."
They walked back to the park and Shane played with Shep some more
before going into his own trailer. His father was lying on the couch
watching some wood working show.
"Guess you got yourself up that damn principals ass." He sneered as
Shane closed the door. "He a fag that likes little boys. Did he diddle
with you all weekend."
Anger surged through Shane but he suppressed it knowing that his
father was only provoking him to speak out so he could beat on him.
"We just played cards and stuff." he said knowing an answer would be
required.
"Strip poker?"
"No sir," Shane expected some remark to come out about Derek figuring
if Nick new his dad must too. Shane walked off to his room breathing a
sigh of relief though he did not get through the day without getting a
hiding that lasted what seemed like twenty minutes. He wasn't sure what
his violation was his father had not said much since while he ranted and
brought the belt down repeatedly over his back and ass. He figured maybe
it was cause his father had gotten proof that he was actually queer and
since he'd not been able to disguise the beating by getting Shane to talk
back to him he just did it anyways without really saying why.
Though he did not at all want to, he got up the next morning and
walked to school. He did not go early enough to work out only early enough
to get a good breakfast which pained his ass a lot to sit and do but he had
to toughen it up cause it would do a whole lot of sitting in classes that
day.
On walking to his first class Mr. Mason called out to him and he found
himself once again sitting in the man's office. "I didn't expect to see
you here today Shane." Don said his admiration for the boy beyond measure
at this point.
"I didn't want to come." he answered seeing no need to lie as he'd be
even more of a freak if he had wanted to. "But it won't get any better the
longer I wait will it?"
"No I spose not. Just keep to yourself and hopefully you'll be okay."
"I've always kept to myself I've never been okay." Shane said
bitterly.
Don nodded realizing what he'd said was pretty stupid. He pulled some
papers out of his desk and handed them over to Shane who tentatively
reached out and took them.
"I signed your free lunch papers for you. You need to eat more then
you do. It's bad for your health to go without food. Just give those to
the cashier and she'll add you to the list."
A warm feeling ran through him as he looked down at the papers. A
feeling he had been feeling a lot of the week that he'd spent with him and
Tad. He wasn't real sure what it was but he knew he liked it.
He stood up from his chair and put his hand to his shoulder then
realizing he had no pack to tuck the papers in he dropped his hand back
down his warm feeling replaced by an incredible sadness at the loss of his
things.
"Good luck today Shane. And keep in mind I'm very proud of you for
showing up here today. It takes a very strong person to do what you are
doing."
Shane had no response for this. He knew he was not strong and didn't
much appreciate the false flattery. He'd grown to like Don a lot though
and didn't have it in him to be rude to someone who was so obviously an
ally. He walked out of the office and down to his locker. As he expected
lots of snickering followed him along the way. He ignored it as best he
could looking at no one not wanting to see the people he knew had hurt him
a week before.
He got to his locker and opened the door even more cautiously then
usual he hadn't been there in a week and figured his locker was full of
shit by now. His head tingled and he felt a strong wave of dizziness as he
looked inside and saw a long brown pool stick. He put his hand up and
clutched at the side of his locker to keep his balance and try and force
the breakfast that he'd eaten back into his stomach from where it seemed to
be rising up his throat.
He heard laughter to his right and turned his head to it all he could
make out was the dark green of a letterman's jacket in his dizzy state.
"What's the matter Shane?" he heard the jacket and it's occupant
moving closer. "Having a flash back of a bad date."
He swallowed hard again and looked back in the locker carefully
keeping his eyes from the stick. He quickly pulled down his books hoping
he was grabbing the right ones.
"I can't believe you had the nerve to show your fucking face back
here."
He was sure it was Bart now, that voice was a big part of his
nightmares in the last week. "I have to go to school." He said quietly
clutching his books tightly to his chest.
"Where's your little back pack."
Shane turned his head back to Bart keeping his eyes near his chest and
not looking into his face. His eyes focused more and he saw Bart was
holding one of his tennis balls. His mind whirled not wanting Bart to have
it. He'd have rathered they ran over his things with a snow blower then be
in the hands of someone he hated so. He could feel tears burning their way
to the surface and he quickly kicked his locker door closed and skirted
around Bart before he could grab for the ball or ask for it back knowing
both those things would only get him in a lot more trouble.
He hoped as he walked away that the ball would nail him in the back of
the head. Least that way he'd get it back. In his first class two more
basket ball team members had his base balls in their hands they spent the
class tossing them in the air and grinning snidely over at him.
Shane cursed himself for all the times he was caught looking at them.
He would have loved to be able to pretend he didn't care but seeing them
there so close his eyes kept drawing back to them.
He opened his book which was no longer Romeo and Julien but Oedipus
Rex and flipped to the page the teacher was reading from. Halfway through
the fifth page she read his face shot up as she said. "Boys bring me those
balls." she had one hand on her hip and the other out flat motioning the
boys forward with her fingers.
The boys begrudgingly stood up and handed her the baseballs. Shane
spent the rest of the class arguing with himself on whether or not to ask
for them back. If it had been any other teacher he wouldn't even consider
it. But this was his English teacher he called her the rail but that's
only cause she was so skinny. He didn't hate her like most of the teachers
and she'd always been nice to him on the few occasions they'd talked.
His decision was made by the time the bell rang and he lingered in
class taking an extra long time to gather up his books. Before going to
her he walked to the door and peeked out making sure the boys weren't out
there expecting him to do what he was about to do.
When he faced back into the room the teacher was looking at him with a
funny sort of look. "Can I help you Shane?" her voice was kind and he was
egged on.
He walked back over to her not wanting to say it right there in the
doorway. "Those baseballs," he said pointing to them on the desk. "They
are mine. Those guys took them from me last week. I was wondering if
maybe you could give them back to me since you have them now."
She studied him for a minute and he was tempted to run from the room
but took a deep breath and stood his ground.
"Okay Shane." she said quite kindly causing Shane to take another deep
breath of relief. "I was gonna toss them out anyways." she picked them up
off the desk and placed one in each of his outstretched hands.
"Thank you very much ma'am."
She smiled warmly and gave a single nod. "Well I'm glad I could make
your day a little better."
Shane smiled back at her as she'd made his day a hell of a lot better.
He tucked a ball in each of his jacket pockets then zipped them up tightly
so no one could get at them easily. He turned and walked out of the room
feeling so much satisfaction it made him temporarily forget the hell that
was going on in his head.
Though he wanted to feel his pockets all through the next two periods
to make sure they were still in there he held his hands back feeling many
eyes on him and not wanting anyone to know he'd got some of his stuff back.
A horrific thought hit him just before the bell rang to dismiss them from
that class and send them onto their next.
He'd realized he should have told his English teacher not to say she'd
given them back. If those boys went and asked her for them back for
themselves then she may say what she'd done and then they would come after
him again. He couldn't go back now though, if he'd added it to the other
conversation that would have been okay but making a special point to go
back well that just looked way to needy.
The bell rang and he went straight to his next class seeing after his
eyes had cleared that he did have all the right books. He wondered what in
fuck he would do about that stick in his locker as just seeing it had made
him want to puke he knew there would be no way he could touch it. If he
only had his pack he could just keep all his books with him and stop using
the locker all together.
He sat down in Algebra thinking heavily on where he could hide his
books other then his locker. He thought of Don as he set his books up on
his desk and thought just maybe if he were brave enough to ask he would be
allowed to keep his books in there. His fingers moved over his math book
as he started to work up the nerve to ask and he opened it not paying any
attention to what he was actually doing. His fingers crossed across
something very smooth, noticeably smoother then the worn pages of his book
and he looked down.
His fingers closed around a picture that he could not make out and he
held it up closer to his face. He slammed it back face down into the book
swallowing hard having seen he was the subject of the picture. Him on the
floor with his pants around his knees and that damn stick hanging out of
his ass. Tears burned at his eyes and nausea rose up on him. His eyes
darted to the door as he contemplated fleeing knowing he didn't want to
hurl right there.
He quickly closed up his book and gathered up the rest. He got to his
feet clutching them tightly to his chest. He looked over on his retreat to
a group of green jacketed jocks who were all looking back at him their
mouths all wide open in laughter.
He ran the rest of the way out of the room then down the hall to the
bathroom he dropped his books onto the stall floor then bent over and threw
up every last drop of his breakfast along with some mucousy white stuff
that he closed his eyes to no longer see.
He reached up blindly and flushed the toilet then wiped his arm across
his mouth. He reached behind him and picked up his math book holding it by
the binding he shook it up and down dropping out several more pictures.
Tears poured down his face seeing himself being beaten in ways that he had
not remembered. Ways that humiliated him far more then he'd ever been
humiliated in his entire life.
With snot running out of his nose and tears pouring from his eyes he
shakily got down on his knees and collected all the pictures with trembling
hands. Once he'd gotten them all then held them over the toilet and ripped
them into the smallest possible pieces that he could get them into. He
dropped them down into the toilet and flushed it one more time.
He got back to his feet and picked his books up he set them on the
back of the toilet then sat down on the seat bringing his knees up in front
of them he wrapped his arms around them and buried his head deep between
them he cried for a good long time wanting desperately to be taken from
this damn town by anyone maybe even aliens and never ever come back.
He stayed there even after the bell rang signaling lunch wanting to
wait for the halls to clear before he ventured back out. He kept his feet
up on the toilet hearing other kids coming into the bathroom. There were
two separate voices as far as he could tell neither of which he recognized.
"I'm telling you man. It's true."
"There's no way Derek was gay." was the laugh filled response. "And
even if he were he would never be with Shane. He's the biggest loser in
school and Derek was popular."
"Why else would Derek suddenly be gone? They were seen together two
weeks ago. Now it's all out and suddenly Derek is gone? That's no
coincidence."
Shane held his breath praying he was not making any noise.
"But Shane is such a loser."
"Shane isn't a loser. Just no one's ever gotten to know him. It's not
his fault he's so poor." Shane's ears perked up wishing he knew who this
kid that was defending him was. He didn't dare adjust his position enough
to peek out the cracks of the stall so he listened intently to the voice so
if he heard it again it may register.
"You're just saying that cause you are hard up. You want sex and
don't care with who." the other boy said laughing again while Shane's shock
reached a level so high he nearly fell sideways off the toilet. He held
his breath hoping he hadn't really made any noise as a loud booming had
gone off in his head and he was afraid maybe it was not only in his head.
"I think he's real cute Matt, I always have. If you look past the
raggy clothes an actually at him you'd see that too."
Shane inched a hand up and covered it over his mouth thinking his day
had suddenly taken a turn for the better. Damn he cursed in his head he
wished he knew who this kid was.
"I never got the chance to look past his clothes they don't let the
eye get any further."
Shane heard a noise like maybe a hand hitting a clothed shoulder or
something. "You are so superficial. I tell you what though I'm not gonna
let this chance pass me by. Not cause of some stupid clothes. I'll bet
he's a real nice guy maybe if people around here would just talk to him
they'd see that."
There was a definite sound of someone peeing then the flush of a
toilet and running of water in the sink. Shane saw a flash of grey walk by
and set himself on full alert for anyone in a grey shirt. The bathroom
door opened and closed and he stretched his legs out off the toilet. He
opened the stall door then stopped dead in his tracks seeing Rodney 'the
pick' Bardeaux and another member of the basket ball team. Before he could
run off his arm was grabbed and he was slammed back against the stalls by
the pick himself.
Shane dropped his books partly from panic and partly cause his arms
had given out when his elbows smashed into the stalls. "What were you
doing in the principals office this morning queer?" the picks hands were
now folding into his shirt collar pulling it tightly around Shane's neck.
He put his hand up on the picks wrist to try and get it off then jerked it
away as Rodney slapped him full force across the face. "Don't touch me you
fuck."
Shane dropped his hand back down and gripped the edge of the stall
door tightly. "I didn't say nuthin' he just wanted to talk to me."
He was pulled forward then slammed back against the stalls. "You
better pray you didn't say nuthin'" he mimicked Shane's voice on the word
nuthin' "Cause if you do it will happen all over again only next time you
won't survive."
Rodney brought his knee up ramming it into Shane's crotch then let go
of him Shane dropped to the floor his crotch sending bolts of pain through
his entire body. He cupped a hand over himself his parts not yet healed
from the last attack and moaned.
Rodney and the other guy left as quickly as they had come while Shane
stuck his hand down his pants for a more soothing massage. He figured it
didn't much matter if some other guy wanted to have sex with him. His ass
was still so swollen he could barely shit and his dink looked more like a
green boomerang then anything else and that had been before this latest
crushing.
He thought of staying in the bathroom the rest of the lunch period or
maybe leaving school altogether but he wanted to try and figure out who
that boy was, the one that had said nice things about him without even
knowing he was there. It being said that way Shane was sure it wasn't a
ploy to get something. What good would it do just to say it to his friend?
The only reason anyone one would, would be because they meant it.
He massaged for another minute almost making himself erect in the
process taking that as a sign that it must be feeling better he slowly got
back to his feet. He checked his pockets and smiled still feeling the
round baseballs there then picked up his books again. He walked to
Mr. Mason's office not caring if anyone from the team saw him he was too
pissed with all of them to give two shit's and the fact Rodney had seemed
scared made him feel powerful. He held something over all their heads.
Something he would never tell but could get some satisfaction just at
making them think he was.
"How's it going?" Don asked smiling up at him.
Shane turned back to the outer office and pointed at the door. "Can I
close this?"
Don nodded and leaned ahead in his chair while Shane closed the door.
He set his books down in one chair and sat in the other. He leaned forward
himself so his chin was out over the desk. "I need to ask you a favor."
"Certainly Shane." Don was flattered and amazed that Shane was
actually asking for something. He could see by Shane's face and hear by
his voice that it made him uncomfortable as hell to do it but point was he
was doing it.
"Well sometimes people mess with my books or leave gross stuff in my
locker. I'm scared to open it most times but I don't have money for a
lock."
"I've got extra locks Shane."
Shane shook his head his face turning red. "I don't want you giving
me a lock. I just was wondering if maybe I could keep my books somewhere
in here. So they'll be safe." His eyes darted up to Don's face then back
down to the top of the desk.
"Did someone leave something in your locker today?"
Shane's eyes darted again and he shook his head. "No sir, I just
thought maybe since you been so nice to me that it might be okay."
"Well sure it's okay." Don stood from his desk and walked over to one
of the file cabinets he knew had an empty drawer in it. He opened it up
and turned back to Shane. "How's this?" He turned his hand over and waved
it in front of the door.
Shane's face lit up as he stood from the chair. "This will be just
great sir," He said putting his books in. "Thank you so much. I'll just
bug you to get them once a day. I can carry them between classes I just
don't want to carry them all the way home."
"Well why don't we do it this way. You can come in, in the morning
and get your mornings books then bring them back at lunch like you are now
and get your afternoons books. At night before you leave come in again and
take what you need home and leave the rest here."
"But that's three different times."
"All times I'm available Shane don't worry." Don wanted desperately
to put his arms around Shane and hug him tightly. He knew Shane didn't
like that though from the few times he'd tried at over the past week. He'd
always stiffened up like a board in his arms and as far as Don could tell
stopped breathing at the same time. He'd given up trying to console the
boy with hugs as it definitely was something he didn't know how to respond
to.
Shane thanked him again then walked out to the cafeteria he pulled the
papers Mr. Mason had given him that morning out of his back pocket and
walked down the cafeteria filled with more snickering as he walked past
each table and to the food line which was no longer a line as he was so
late to lunch.
He verbally berated himself for forgetting to look out for a guy in
grey shirt as he grabbed his tray and let the ladies behind the counter
fill it with everything they were offering. He walked to the cashier who
looked up at him snidely. "I hope you have money or a signed paper for
that."
Shane wondered if she were blind in not seeing the paper sticking out
of his hand. He shook it open then handed it to her. She looked it over
then handed it back to him. "This is not your father's signature it
doesn't count."
Shane's heart sank and he started to put his tray down on her desk.
"Hold it right there." Shane jumped and turned to his left where Mr. Mason
was walking up behind the woman. "Shane you take your tray and go eat."
Shane looked from him to the woman who now looked pretty nervous then
took his tray and walked out to his table. He wanted to stay and hear what
was going on but was not going to disobey a direct order.
Instead of sitting back to, to the rest of the cafeteria he sat on the
other side of the table and looked them all over. He saw like fifteen gray
shirts and studied every face looking for the kindest one who he knew had
to be the guy just by what he had said in the bathroom. Most of the faces
he could not see as they were back to him and the ones he did see were not
kind at all especially when they caught him looking.
He felt a pat on his back and looked up to see Mr. Mason smiling down
at him. "You are now on the list. You'll have no more trouble." Shane
smiled and nodded and Mr. Mason went on his way.
In every class for the rest of the day Shane studied every grey shirt
clad boy paying little attention to any of the teachers. In Chemistry he
was stricken with a large sadness at the empty seat beside him his good
memories of Derek rushing through his head like a waterfall broken up every
now and then with Derek's red and angry face. He looked at no one that
class as his eyes bored into his book not seeing a word wishing the events
of the past weekend had never occurred and Derek's powerful strong sexy
body was still sitting right there beside him casting him side long glances
when no one was looking.
He was still filled with anger but what was becoming more prevalent as
the days passed was the loss he'd suffered. The loss of the first friend
he'd ever had, the first person to be nice to him and treat him with
kindness and compassion most of the time.
The last bell rang and Shane took his books to Mr. Mason's office
taking back out his math, Chemistry and English book that he needed to take
back home with him.
"Have a good night Shane." Don said smiling up at him from behind his
desk.
"You too." Shane turned to him and smiled. "And thanks for helping me
out today."
"Anytime Shane."
He was not even out of the school yard when he sensed he was being
followed. He hurried his pace ready to run for Shep's protection should
the need arise.
When he was just out of the built up section of town the footsteps
behind him picked up their pace. Shane chanced a glance behind him and saw
instead of the dozens of people he was expecting only one person coming up
behind him. The kid stopped once he was abreast of him and took some deep
breaths to recoup from his run.
Shane fought his instinct to run and looked over at the other kid.
His hair was just a hair darker then his own and cut short above his ears
and well up the back of his neck. He had deep green eyes and full dark
lips. His skin looked well tanned though Shane doubted it was a tan at all
and just maybe his skin color. He wondered if that was maybe olive skin
that he'd heard talk about.
"How are you?" the boy said smiling revealing a row of white and very
straight teeth like you may see in a toothpaste ad. Shane thought maybe
they just looked real white against his dark skin and lips.
"I'm okay." Shane strained his eyes hoping for some superman powers
that would let him see through the kids black jacket to the color of his
shirt. His voice did seem to match the one he'd heard earlier.
The kid turned and walked sideways and held out his hand. "My name is
Sam."
Shane reached out and shook his hand half expecting to pull it back
and find it covered in snot or shit or something. "Shane."
"Yeah I know," he grinned revealing more white teeth. "I've heard a
lot about you." Sam blushed and cleared his throat. "Sorry, I guess that
didn't come out right."
Shane smiled something he was not really accustomed to doing but he
was feeling pretty comfortable in this person's presence.
"You want to come to my house? I've got play station."
"What's play station?" He was the one to turn red this time hating to
peg himself an idiot so shortly after meeting someone.
"Like a video game."
Shane stopped and turned to him and Sam stopped too. "Are you messing
with me?"
Sam smiled thinking he sure wanted to and shook his head. "No, I just
thought maybe you could use a friend about now. Maybe more then just now.
I don't have much friends either and I think us losers should stick
together."
Shane was taken way aback by this what surprised him the most though
was the kid had just called him a loser and he didn't feel at all bad or
insulted by it. This is what led him to make a decision. "Well I guess
that would be okay then."
Sam sort of jumped and sort of skipped as he clapped his hands
together once. "Great. Come on."
They didn't walk far before they turned into the driveway of a
weatherbeaten wood colored house that had tar paper covering half the front
wall. One Shane passed every day on his way to and from school but never
really looked at. There was a rusted out Ford escort in the drive that was
propped up on cinder blocks where there were no tires under the right side.
The front steps were as worn as the one's that led to up to Shane's
trailer. The door creaked open pushed by Sam's hand and Sam motioned for
him to go on in first.
The inside of the house seemed like an illusion compared to what he
saw on the outside. There were arranged flowers on every surface and
bright cheerful colors stuck out at him from every direction in the
livingroom that they had walked into. Beneath the flowers, upholstery and
curtains that were bright and cheery he could see a worn out old floor and
peeling paint on the walls.
"It's not too snazzy." Sam said walking up beside where Shane had
stopped and was looking around. "We aren't going to be here long. Mom's
only here til she makes enough money and we can move on up North. This was
my Gram's place we lived with her then she died a few months back. Mom
wants to sell the place but noone's buying. No one wants to move to this
town and if they did they wouldn't want this dump."
Shane listened to what he was saying but was kinda stuck on the 'we
won't be here long part.' Just his god damn luck. "How long have you
lived here?"
"Close to a year."
"You in my grade?"
"No Junior. I seen you in the halls though."
"Yeah well I'm kinda hard to miss." he said it a bit too bitterly so
he added a smile at the end.
Sam smiled back what looked like a kind and genuine smile. "Come on."
He put his hand on Shane's elbow and led him further into the room where he
took his books and set them down on a new looking coffee table beside a
vase full of white and blue flowers.
Sam pulled off his jacket and threw it in the corner and Shane was not
surprised to see a grey sweatshirt had been underneath it. "Take off your
jacket...if you want."
Shane put his hand on his jacket just over his stomach then moved it
around to his pocket where one of the balls were. "I like to keep it on."
Sam nodded and dropped down onto his knees on the floor he leaned
forward and pulled a couple controls out of the cabinet below the TV with
one hand while he turned the TV on with the other.
Shane sat down beside him and Sam instructed him on how to play the
game. The game required very little concentration and they talked as they
played. "Were's your mom now?"
"Working, she works at the grocery store in the deli. What do your
parents do?"
"My dad fishes. My mom died when I was born."
"I'm sorry." Sam said looking at him directly in the eye. "My dad's
not around either he's not dead though just a prick. Ran off on my mom
like before I was born. We haven't heard from his since."
"Does your mom date?"
"Not here." Sam said then smacked his hand on his thigh and laughed.
"No offense to your dad but the men around here ain't too appealing."
Shane grinned knowing his father was one of the most unappealing of
the men in Prescott Cove. He wondered why he'd never noticed this kid
before since sitting here talking to him now he was very turned on by his
looks and the personality that seemed to go wonderfully along with it.
"Where did you live before you came here?" he could not believe how
many questions he was asking and how at ease he felt.
"Florida. Right on the ocean like here but there they had long white
beaches with soft sand not all rocks like here." Sam looked back at Shane
his controller hanging limply from his hands. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to
sound like one of those ass holes that always brags about where they used
to live. I always hated those people we always got a lot of new people at
my old school. People came and went all the time."
"So you still wish you were there then?"
"Yeah," Sam tilted his head down to one shoulder then the other. "But
I don't dwell on it. I figure I can just go back there if I want in
another year. I'm applying to Florida State for college along with a few
others but I'll make my decision after I know where I'm gonna be accepted.
You gonna go to college?"
Shane shook his head. "My grades ain't too good I could never get any
scholarship and we just can't afford it."
"You could get loans."
He nodded again. They played in silence for a few more minutes both
studying each other out of the corners of their eyes. After the game ended
Sam leaned back against the coffee table while Shane put his hands down
behind him and leaned back on his arms while stretching his legs out in
front of him. He cast a glance over at Sam's crotch but did not glance
long enough to see any sort of definition under his baggy pants.
"So is it true what they say about you?" Sam asked his voice
definitely nervous.
Shane turned his head and looked over his shoulder at him. "Which
thing?"
"That you are gay." Sam looked as nervous as he sounded. Shane was
tempted to act real pissed just for a little fun but knew he would never be
able to pull it off. "Yes it's true." he turned his face to straight over
his shoulder and looked out a doorway that led into a kitchen. "Is there a
reason you're asking?" he was feeling real nervous now.
Sam sat back up and their faces were now aligned their eyes looking
into each other's. "Well cause I'm gay I guess." Sam said his Adam's apple
quivering as it moved up then back down. "When I first moved here I didn't
think this town even knew what gay was. But I met another kid whose gay
and now you so I guess I wasn't the only one after all."
"Matt?" Shane asked then bit his lip knowing he shouldn't have said
that cause the only reason he knew it was from overhearing Sam's
conversation in the bathroom earlier.
Sam looked surprised then nodded. "You know him?"
Shane shook his head and rolled his eyes realizing he'd fucked up
again.
"How'd you know he was gay."
He let out a sigh figuring it wouldn't be so bad to tell now that he'd
buried himself in a good sized whole he moved his hand along the floor and
slid it up over Sam's surprising even himself at his boldness. He blamed
it on his just being so desperate and lonely. "You should really double
check the bathroom stalls before you talk about just anything in there."
Sam's mouth hung open a bit and by his expression Shane could imagine
he was saying something like 'oh shit' in his head. His hand turned up
under Shane's and his fingers curled in over it. "I looked under the
doors." He sounded real embarrassed but it did not really come out on his
beautiful face.
"I was hiding, I didn't know who it was so I pulled my feet up so's
noone would know I was there. I guess it was really my fault for doing
that. But it wasn't like I was gonna run out and say don't talk about me
I'm right here."
Sam grinned then chuckled. "You are funny."
Shane cocked his head to one side certainly never hearing that one
before. "I liked what you said. It made me feel pretty good."
"It was true Shane. And the more I talk to you the more I realize I
wasn't at all wrong in what I said. It's just noone has gotten to know you
is all. And why would you bother getting to know any of them they are a
bunch of bigoted hicks."
"And people aren't in Florida?"
"Not in my old school." he shook his head as though to confirm that
fact. "I was totally out there and noone cared, I kissed my boyfriend
right in the halls like a lot of the other guys kissed their girl friends.
There's a always a few jack asses wherever you go I imagine but we weren't
the only queers there and everyone basically got along real well. It was
the hicks like the people at this school that got teased the most."
"You have a boyfriend?"
"No, not anymore. We broke up about a month after I moved here.
Seems he couldn't hack being alone. He was sexually driven and had to have
it all the time. Me I mostly like to snuggle and kiss. Sex is great don't
get me wrong, it's just not something that consumes my every thought."
"How long have you known you were gay?"
"Since like maybe I was twelve, I didn't really know I just had a real
strong hunch. I told my mom when I was fourteen she didn't believe me at
first said I was too young to know but she's come to accept it over the
last three years. Does your dad know?"
Shane nodded.
"How was he?"
"He hasn't said much about it."
"Did you really go out with Derek Kirk?"
He nodded again. "For a couple months." he figured it was okay to
tell now that Derek was gone.
"How did the two of you get together?"
"Well have you had Mrs Narchek?"
Sam made a disgusted face and nodded.
"Well I had this picture in my back pack once of a guy I thought was
the ideal of hot." Shane sort of grinned and looked off into space
remembering it fondly. "She's such a bitch that one day she decided to
dump my back pack all over my desk while I was gathering the stuff she took
the picture and held it up for everyone to see. That's when everyone found
out I was gay. Everyone had called me a queer and a fag before that but
they were only guessing after what she did everyone got all the proof they
needed."
He looked back at Sam and smiled. "Derek was in that class and the
very next time I saw him he started being awful nice to me. He had the
cover of helping me buff up you know get some muscles." He put his hand
that was not in Sam's on his bicep. "He came over to my house one night
cause he'd stood me up in going out to eat he'd said he was going to show
me what a proper meal was. He came to my house with pizza and beer."
Sam chuckled. "That was a proper meal?"
He shook his head and grinned again. "No he said it wasn't but
thought he'd better show up with a bribe so I'd let him in. He spent the
night that night and we just were together after that."
"Did he really leave just cause everyone found out?" Sam cocked his
head to one side looking like he felt bad for Shane about this.
Shane dropped his hand off his Bicep onto the floor. "I guess, he
never told me he was just gone." He couldn't get over how easy it was to
talk to Sam he could not remember the last time he talked so much if ever.
"That must suck. Do you miss him?"
Shane sort of shrugged and half nodded. "I guess, I'm mad at him
though I wouldn't be with him even if he were still here."
Sam squeezed his hand tighter around Shane's. "I don't blame you.
That's not right. If you love someone you are with them no matter what it
takes."
"I don't think he loved me. We were just together."
Sam looked over at the clock and sighed.
"What's wrong?"
"My mom will be home soon."
"Oh," Shane pulled his hand free and stood up Sam shot up right beside
him.
"That don't mean you have to leave."
"I don't want to be in her way, I've got to get home anyway my father
will be home soon too."
Sam nodded and they looked into each other's eyes again. He put his
hand back in Shane's and curled his fingers around it. "Can I kiss you
good bye?"
His heart soared his lips real lonely as of late. He nodded and Sam
was on him instantly running his hand through the back of his hair while
their lips meshed together in a kiss that was even better then Derek's. He
figured maybe it was the full lips opposed to Derek's thin ones. And this
boy was his same height so there lips just naturally met with noone
lowering or raising their head.
They withdrew from the kiss a minute later Sam looking as pleased as
Shane felt. "That was real great." he said his smile nearly going all the
way up his cheeks.
"I thought so too." Shane was sure his face was beet red he could feel
it's pleasured heat pulsating from it.
"You sure you gotta go?"
He nodded not feeling like meeting Sam's mom and having something
happen that could ruin this great moment.
"Can you come over tomorrow?"
"Sure, that would be great." Shane squeezed Sam's hand affectionately
then let go of it. Sam walked him to the door and they kissed again this
one shorter then the last but still very pleasurable.
Shane walked on home feeling like maybe despite the hard tar under his
feet that he was walking on a cloud. He couldn't believe his luck and was
actually at that moment thank ful to Mrs. Narchek the bitch for exposing
his secret. He'd gotten Derek out of it and now Sam seemed to be coming
right up to take his place.
He heard the old rust bucket coming up behind him it's loud noise so
distinct it could not be mistaken. He didn't turn to look and did not even
look up at it as it blared past his heart sinking at the fact that his
father would be home when he got there. Before he reached the park though
the truck roared back by in the other direction and Shane smiled figuring
he must be headed back to the bars giving him a night alone.
He stopped and played with Shep for a good hour then went home and
spent the rest of the evening lying on his stomach his face over an open
Chemistry book that he barely took a look at as he was too busy day
dreaming about Sam and that incredible kiss. He must have ran his finger
across each lip a hundred times as he looked dreamily over at the dented
wall of his bedroom. Dented from all the times his father had shoved the
door open so hard the door handle had made several dents in the wall. He
figured in most houses it would just be one dent but in this falling apart
and shifting shack the dent had moved upwards and to the right over the
years leaving a good six separate dents.
He shook his head and went back to his day dream not caring much about
the damn dents right then. He rolled over onto his back and stretched his
arms out he closed his eyes and pictured himself at another swim meet.
Derek wasn't in this one. He could see Sam in the front row sitting beside
his ideal dream father who had his arms over Sam's shoulder. He obviously
was proud of his son's friend. Shane's eye lids scrunched up wondering
when he'd become gay in his day dreams usually he was straight and most
definitely a virgin since he couldn't even make out with a girl.
He shook his head deciding it didn't matter his dream father didn't
seem to mind and Sam sure looked happy sitting beside him while smiling up
at Shane on the diving board. He made his dive and people were feet
clapping a thunderous ovation.
After changing in the locker room he walked out of it and was hugged
by his father, mother and Sam all at the same time while his mother kissed
his forehead. Several of his classmates patted him on the back for a job
well done while in his families embrace as he was of course very popular in
this world.
He jerked awake hours later as the door swung open adding to the
highest dent in the wall. He sat up quickly to see his father looming in
the doorway reeking of beer and cigarettes his eyes blood shot.
"Leave." it was all he said but Shane didn't need any more
instruction. He gathered up his books and put his jacket back on. Luckily
the nights were much warmer now rarely dipping down below thirty. He
turned to his father's room once in the hall and saw a flash of red hair
going into the door and a long feminine hand with blood red finger nails
pulling the door closed.
Shane shivered holding back a gag wondering who in hell would want to
fuck his nasty ass father. He checked the clock on the stove and saw it
was already midnight he could not believe he'd slept that long and was not
feeling at all tired any more.
Walking down the driveway he realized he did not dare walk on the road
or go into town where he could easily be pulled into another car. Looking
over at Shep's house he shrugged figuring it would at least pass some time
to sleep a little more. Shep welcomed him as he always did and they
snuggled up together.