Date: Thu, 08 Feb 2001 20:26:23 -0800
From: Z Cogoma <cogoma@zdnetonebox.com>
Subject: Skater's Streets 3

Skater's Streets

Chapter 3
Instant Replay
cogoma@zdnetonebox.com

I crossed the railroad tracks following Dart. I watched him strip below the
waist, standing naked before me save for his torn and stretched out San
Diego Padre's T-shirt. The first thing that drew my attention was the
moisture at the tip of his dick. He watched me checking out his black patch
of hair, the size of his legs, the hair that ran up the inside of his
thighs, the way his balls hung, and the way his dick bent only the last two
inches below the head.

"Let's do it sitting down so I don't fall on my ass," he said.

"Sure," I said, waiting for him to pick the spot.

I slid up between his legs with my bear thighs rubbing on his bear
legs. Even before I touched it my dick was throbbing, and like the night
before, I pointed it out of the leg of my shorts so it would erupt on to
the dark earth shortly after I started blowing him. I was so hot at that
instant that two strokes would have set me off. I was careful not to touch
myself when I folded the material in my shorts off of it.

He hadn't offered to touch me and I didn't want him to see me doing it to
myself. I didn't see Dart as a cocksucker. It just didn't seem like
something he'd do voluntarily. He was most comfortable with his hands
behind his head while he watched another guy devour him. Just my proximity
to his dick had my heart feeling like it was bursting on each beat. I
didn't need or want him to do anything but be there exposed to me like he
was.

There was little or no possibility of discovery this time, and I didn't
keep an ear out for one of the guys to suddenly decide to come out of the
tube. I didn't need to listen to them encourage Stan onto their dicks or
the sounds they made when he'd chosen theirs. I didn't wonder what it was
like being Stan with all those dicks pointed at me. It was Dart and me that
second time, and I was tuned in to just him.

I gripped the base below the bend, studying the head and the way it swelled
when I squeezed, watching the drops leak out of him when I did.  Hearing
the way his breathing changed when I touched him helped me to understand
what he had invested in my touching him. He squirmed, making our legs rub
together more vigorously. He gulped some air leaning back on his elbows not
watching me any longer, looking at the deep bluing in the sky between the
treetops. Night was closing in.

I remembered to take some deep breaths and then I let my lips move on the
tip to wipe those leaking drops around the head. It was electric when my
tongue washed his tip, mixing my spit with his leakage as I became wed to
the head of it. With my lips slipping just over the ridge and connecting
with his shaft, I let my tongue lick it as it pulsed in my mouth.

He struggled to breathe and I left gobs of cum on the leaves as my head
left my shoulders and did loop de loop way away from us. I didn't think I'd
ever stop shooting and I was afraid he'd know. I had no idea why I didn't
want him to know how much what I was doing turned me on. I do remember
getting my mouth down to the bend after awhile.

"You'd better let me," he said, grabbing it out of my mouth.

He frantically masturbated himself, cumming all over our legs and on my
shorts, moaning and gasping air as it leaped out of him in long powerful
streams. He collapsed back on the leaves, panting for air. I took his dick
from him and massaged more liquid down over my fingers as his hands held my
forearm. It softened as I felt it, exploring his balls, and regions behind
them. My fingers became windows to his world.

"That was the best," he said, standing with his dick swinging near my face.

Once we were dressed we both had places to go and things to do. I went down
the short slope to the tracks where the trolley had passed just twenty feet
from where we'd done our thing. There, not fifty feet from where we had
been, Paul stood leaning on the concrete border of the business that came
right up to the tracks just short of Grossmont Station. There was no doubt
in my mind how he got there or what he was doing.

"Hi," he said, sounding so unlike Paul it wasn't even funny.

"Hi. You're a long way from the tube," I said, not being able to think of
anything else to say.

"Yeah, you too. Dart have to go," he said, letting me know he knew.

"I guess," I said. "I'm going for a Coke. Want to go?"

"Sure," he said, making me happy and pissing me off at the same time.

I was sure I knew what he was after. I wasn't sure why he just didn't come
out with, "Blow me or I blow you away with the guys."

Paul did not impact me the way Dart did. Dart was tall, dark, handsome, and
exciting for me to be near. Paul was, well, Paul was Paul. He mainly stayed
in the background, said little that wasn't bluster or self-promotion, and
he thought everyone was a little weird, according to what he said. Now I
was stuck with trying to get away from him but with what he knew I had to
find a way to keep him from running his mouth.

We crossed the highway and went to the Quick Stop for large cups of Coke. I
was surprised when Paul paid for mine. I'd never seen him so subdued. It
was obvious he had something on his mind and I really didn't want to know
what it was. We sat out on the curb as cars came and went with their milk
and bread. He hung his cup down between his knees, mostly staring at the
black asphalt.

"It's been nice weather," I said.

"A little hot," he said.

"What I did wasn't cool," he said, sounding like it wasn't.

Okay, we were getting to it. He was admitting he shouldn't have followed
us, and now if he just says he won't say anything about what he saw me
doing, I'm out of here, I thought. Besides, just how far is the blower from
the blowee when you come down to it. They are sharing one of the most
intimate acts anyone can share. Besides fucker and fuckee, I didn't think
it got more intimate.

"Shit happens," I said, after a long uneasy drink of coke.

"Yeah, but there are certain things you don't let get around," he said.

Oh fuck, here it comes, I thought. Now just what have I got to do to keep
it from getting around.

"Well I don't say nothing about nothing," I said, taking the only neutral
ground I could think of.

Paul wasn't as big as he looked. Beside me he didn't seem that much bigger
than I was. He had broad shoulders and all that freaking curly hair that
made him look way tall. It wasn't blonde, or brown, or red, or.... Hell, I
didn't know what it was. It was different. He had light light skin with
freckles that didn't really look like freckles because of how lightly they
were colored. He had big arms and thick legs, but in all that baggy
material, he just looked way big to me. He didn't look all that bad when he
wasn't ragging on someone, which he always was, and I could hear him giving
a blow by blow recounting of how I was up between Dart's legs. Dart would
come off as this big stud and I'd come off as a fag.

"I was way over the top in front of you guys. It's just that I've really
been strange lately. It's like all I think about. Then I go do something
stupid like that in front of you two," he said, sounding so remorseful it
wasn't funny.

"Dart set you up, Paul. He was trying to get you going. He's got this idea
that everyone wants it all the time," I said, trying not to say too much
but wanting to let the guy off the hook.

"He did that?"

"He did that. He was hard before you even came up," I said.

"How do you know that?" Paul asked.

"We were talking about the night before. How you, well, how the guys were
so ready to do anything. You were the first up the tube and he thought that
meant you were more desperate than anyone was. Then here you come. He
couldn't resist proving his point."

"I'm not that desperate. I don't have any trouble in that department," he
said, looking around while holding his knees from the outside and swinging
his coke between them.

"I'm just telling you what he said. I have no opinion. I'm too young to
have an opinion. I don't know shit about shit. You old guys seem to have it
all figured out," I said.

"I'm not an old guy. I'm a sophomore too," he said.

"You are? You look older," I said, hoping it didn't offend him.

"I go to Special Ed classes. I don't really need them, but they say it
helps me concentrate. It's a lot of horse shit you ask me."

"ADD?" I asked.

"Yeah, some form or version of it with a lot of extra letters so if you
aren't confused enough you can really be fucked up."

"Bummer," I said.

"I just wanted to let you know you're okay with me and I didn't mean to
freak you out," he said.

"I've seen hard dicks before," I said. "Yours is big though." I added,
figuring an ego boost might get us both off the hook and out of there.

"My best part according to most of my friends," he said, sounding
distant. "My brain don't work but my dick sure do. Some times it pisses me
off because I can't stop myself. Like you with Dart. I mean I'm sure he's
got his needs, but it surprised me you'd go with him. I always pegged you
as Mr. Clean. To figure you're like me... I just didn't. I'm cool with
it. I liked you even before," he said, sounding like he was talking to
someone that wasn't really there, and I was certainly wishing I wasn't
there.

"What are you talking about?" I finally asked, sounding too reprehensible
for my own puritanical good.

"After last night and then today, you didn't figure it out. I'm sure Dart
is telling everyone what a fag I am. I won't say anything," he said,
smiling at me with about the warmest smile I'd ever gotten from
anyone. "Like I said. I always liked you. I just never thought you were
gay. When I saw you and Dart going at it, it just made me think how nice it
would be with someone nice like you. I always end up with guys that want me
to cum or they need to cum and that's about as personal as it gets. I've
never been with anyone that acted like it was me they wanted and not my big
dick."

"You're gay," I said, after I picked my chin up off the asphalt. "You're
gay? I'm not...."

I started to protest, and then I realized he'd struggled with it and knew
what it meant to do the things I'd done. He was trying to let me know he
knew and taking me off the hook at the same time. I wasn't going to call
myself gay. Hell, I had a long ways to go. There was the stage everyone
talked about boys going through, of course none of them ever went through
it because they were too pure, but some boys, somewhere, went through it,
and I'm sure some boys somewhere did, but it didn't consume them when they
did. There was a difference between curiosity and rhapsody. I never went
through the stage. I went directly to being nothing sexually to sucking
dick. I suppose having guys like Ace and Dart around could eliminate the
middle ground rather quickly.

"I'm going to give you my phone number. It's just if you need to talk to
someone that understands. I never had anyone to talk to. It's better if you
don't keep it all inside. I tried that and it hurts too much. Any time,
nighttime, day time, any time. I have a phone in my room. No one else will
answer."

 "Sure," I said as I took the receipt he'd jotted his number on.

He stood up, pulling the legs of his shorts down in a way that took my
attention straight to it. There it was, as close as Dart's had been before
he got dressed. Paul watched eyes too, and he knew what I was looking
at. The big knob at the end was outlined in the tightening material. It
lacked an inch at most before I could see it, although I could see it in my
mind, remembering the details, the veins, the color.

"I said I liked you. Sorry, it's always hard these days. I must be going
through some kind of change. Look, Z, call me. We can be friends. I mean
friends or whatever you want."

"Yeah, thanks," I said, looking up at his eyes before my eyes went back
between his legs.

He took a quick glance around before he lifted the leg of his shorts high
enough to expose the swollen head. It pressed on his thigh as he pressed
down on it with his hand. I remembered the head and that darkening color
that indicated he was turned on. I looked at his face with a quick glance
but went back to that fat fucker without hesitating after seeing him
smile. He looked around again and hiked the leg another two or three
inches. He pressed his fingers down on the naked flesh. My mind was a
flutter with desire for it. I wanted to look away but I didn't. He eased it
out of sight forcing me to look at his face again. He pushed down on it
several times and by the look on his face it was making matters worse.

"You like it?" He asked, knowing the answer by what he'd seen in my eyes.

"I'll call," I said. "Tonight."

"Nothing like an incentive," he said, smiling at me before he dropped his
board and drifted on it down toward Grossmont Blvd, staying on an angle so
he could watch me watching him.

I sat there for a long time. I was more confused now than I had been when I
was blowing Dart. I knew why I did that and it was clear to me. I wanted to
know what it was like and I wanted to know what Dart was like. When Paul
stood there, rearranging himself, I had a hot flash. I'd never liked Paul
at all before I saw his dick. Why would that make a difference? Why did
that get me going? It made no sense to me at all. Doing something with Paul
wasn't learning anything. I'd learned all I needed to know from Dart. I
wanted more lessons from someone else.

If I was gay then I liked guys the way guys liked girls. Did they then get
hot and bothered over girls they didn't necessarily feel attracted to? What
did it mean? I felt like Paul, when he was talking about ADD and the other
letters that they attached to it just to make sure he was more confused
then he'd always been confused about everything. I'd never known anything
about sex and the more I learned the less I felt like I knew.

It didn't seem fair that he had ADD and this to deal with. Why do some of
us get such heavy loads to carry? My life had once been pretty good in
Paradise Valley. The only sexuality I saw was in fleeting kisses of young
lovers greeting or saying goodbye. Was there a gang of skaters on the other
side of Phoenix like the boys in El Cajon, burning with desire and lust for
anyone with a mouth or a receptacle that became available? I had grown up
believing I was like the skaters in PV, well dressed, well scrubbed, and
easy to get along with, and yet I wanted to experience the raw sexuality of
my new friends, smelling touching, experiencing everything they had to
offer.

I didn't fit in with the skaters here until last night at the tube, except
for that first day when John showed me what I was looking for. I'd thought
about it all the time since then. I knew there was a fire burning inside of
me that told me I wanted to get into sex any way I could. Until the night
before we were a rag tag group of punks who skated together. I no longer
prided myself on being neat and clean and I looked more like them then the
boys from PV. I was now tuned into the sexuality of these boys like I'd
never been tuned into anything before.

All Rights Reserved. Copyright Cogoma 2001.