Date: Tue, 15 Mar 2011 00:29:40 -0700 (PDT) From: K Davids <k.davids@ymail.com> Subject: Some sense of security/In search of solid groung ch. 10 In Search of Solid Ground ch 10 This story is pure fiction and is not intended to imply anything about the true sexuality of the reader. This story contains sexual contact between to underage males if this is illegal to read where you live then please hit the back button now!! Everything in this story is made up, the names and people are fake: they are not real; I did not base them off people I know! Please do not copy or paste this anywhere else, but please feel free to email me k.davids@ymail.com One day soon I'll hold you like the sun holds the moon And we will hear those planes overhead and we won't have to be scared We won't have to be scared, we won't have to be scared ~Civil Twilight~ Letters from the sky -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Note that chapter 10 takes place a few days after the last chapter in case anyone was wondering why nothing in this chapter as mentioned. Characters Chasen: Age 17 - Main Character Braiden: Age 17 - Chasen's boyfriend Ian: Age 1- Braiden's son Kevin: Chasen's Father Caroline: Chasen's Step Mother Ryan: Age 17 - Chasen's Brother Kyle: Age 15 - Chasen's Brother Lexie: Age 14 - Chasen's Sister Aaron: Age 16 - Friend (Chasen's POV) I open my eyes, and rub the sleep from them. Sitting up I look around and I remember I am in Braiden's room. The only problem is that he isn't in the room nor Ian. As I turn my head towards the door, it opens and Braiden walks into the room without a shirt and just in gym shorts. I catch my breath, I still can't get over seeing him shirtless like this; he is sweating, I can tell, his pecks look good. My eyes travel down to his abs and to his happy trail, I just smile at him. "How do you do it?" I ask him. He looks at me confused, "Do what babe?" "Sneak out of the room like a ninja. You don't make a sound!" I tell him. He gives me a smile, "Lots of practice with Ian when I have to use the restroom at night, I had to learn to move very quiet. He used to be a light sleeper." I look to the crib and I notice he isn't there, "Where is he?" I see the look on his face, "Grandparents." Is all he says sitting on the edge of the bed, he starts to take off his shoes. "Why are you so sweaty babe?" I ask crawling closer to him. "Went running, I have been slacking lately and school is about to start." He tells me. "Babe you are in shape, and I know school starts in two days." I tell him still not fully understanding. "Well, instead of team sports, I want to get into cross country and possibly track. I have been talking to the coach, she wants me on her team for cross country." He tells me. "Why haven't you ever mentioned this to me?" I ask. He looks over at me like he doesn't understand, "I didn't think it would be that big of a deal." "Babe it's to me. I just want you to know I will be there at every event to support you." I tell him smiling. He smiles and leans in to kiss me, as I kiss him, I can smell his scent mixed with sweat the smell of the outdoors that still lingers on his skin; he shoves me back on the bed and rolls on top of me kissing me harder. I can't help it, I instantly get a boner and he notices, he gives me that evil little grin and kisses me again, "I wished we could take care of that, but I need to shower and get ready for work! I have a double shift today, plus I have to start lessons. Speaking of which when do you want to start yours?" I look at him in disbelief, "How can you ruin a moment like what we were having with talk of work and shit?" I asking not happy at all. This causes him to sit up, "Chasen what is your deal?" "I am pissed we were having such a good moment and you had to ruin it!" I tell him raising my voice a little. He gets off of me completely, "I have to go shower, and I think you need to go home. If you are going to yell at me, don't bother calling me later then." He tells me looking at me like he doesn't believe what I was saying. He doesn't say another word to me, just walks to his dresser and gets a pair of boxers out and then to his closet and pulls out a shirt and shorts. He doesn't look back at me or anything. He walks in and slams the door to the bathroom and I hear the lock click. I roll my eyes and get off the bed; I find my shorts and shirt. I pull them both on then look for my shoes, which I can't seem to find. Which only aggravates me more, I finally find them by the door. I start to slip them on when my phones goes off. I try as fast as I can to dig it out of my pocket. It's a reminder that it's Aaron's birthday. "Fuck." I think to myself, I need to call him when I get home. I spot my keys on the dresser, I grab them and walk out of the room. I can't deal with arguing with Braiden at the moment. I don't know what is wrong with him, but he backs off every time I try and get intimate with him. I make my way out the front door, making sure to be quiet so I don't run into his parents. I shut the door with barely a sound, I make it to my car in a few seconds. I jump in it and start the engine, it still smells brand new because I hardly ever drive it at all. I throw it into drive and zoom off home. Pulling up to my drive way, I set the car in park and get out, slamming the door, I am still pissed. Well it's only been a few minutes since Braiden and I had our spat and my blood was still boiling. I notice Ryan and Kyle in the front yard and they're throwing the football back and forth. "Chase! Hey do you want to throw the football with Ry and I?" Shouts Kyle from the other side of the lawn. "No." I say simply, passing by Ryan without looking at him. As I try to make it up the steps, I hear Kyle run up after me, "Why don't you want to chill? I think you should, I haven't seen you in a while. Come on just for like ten minutes?" he pleads with me. He doesn't know when to let it go I'm pissed already and he isn't helping me at all, I turn around and yell, "Kyle, I said no! Now leave me the fuck alone." I see the shock register on his face, he looks like he is verge of crying, but he is fifteen he needs to learn to deal with it. I turn and stomp my way into the house. I try not to run into any one on the way to my room. Luckily Dad and Caroline were on the other side of the house, and Lexie was in her room. I climb the stairs a few at a time, I just want to get to my room. I want to be alone. I throw open the door and slam it as I enter, I haven't really touched my room since I got back from Florida. I don't know being back there made me feel upset, mad and disappointed in myself, now being home I somehow felt different. Yes standing up to my mother was great and all but inside I was still so full of anger. I was angry at Tanner for leaving Troy like that. I am pissed at Braiden for being so distant at times. And I'm disappointed in Aaron. I take a seat on my bed but as soon as I do I hear a knock on my door. Before I can say anything the door is thrown open and Ryan storms into the room. "What the hell was that about Chasen?" "Get out of my room." I demand, not wanting to deal with him. He shuts the door behind him and starts to make his way over to me. I get up not happy that he isn't listening to me at all, "I told you to get out." I yell at him. He grabs me by the shirt and forces me against the wall, "I don't know what the fuck your issue is today, but Kyle is crying right now because of you! Do you realize he looks up to you? I don't know why! Especially if you're just going to be an asshole to him." "He is fifteen he should be just fine, now get off of me." I tell him. He presses me harder against the wall, "What the fuck is your issue?" "You wouldn't understand Mr. Perfect." I yell at him. I see this pisses him off more, "I wouldn't understand? Chasen stop playing the fucking victim for once. Who gives a damn that you had a shitty mother. You don't live with her anymore, you aren't being abused. You don't live in a trashy house like you did before. You have a family now that LOVES you! You have a boyfriend and just about everything you could EVER fucking want but that's not good enough now for you is it? You act like everyone owes you something. You need to take a look around. We don't owe you shit!" He lets go of me and I slide down the wall to the floor, "You didn't even take the time to look at Kyle, our little brother was outside actually being a teenager for once! Throwing a football around, he sucks at it but he is doing it. This medicine is actually working Chase." He tells me and walks out of my room leaving me there on the floor with nothing but all his words to process... I hit my head against the wall, I know I fucked up...but I got just so much to think about. School is rapidly approaching and I don't know how to handle it. How is Braiden going to act at school? around me? Will he act like Tanner did or will he be ok being out? So many ifs and they scare me. I am scared that the reason he backs off is that he doesn't want me physically like I want him. Every time I try and initiate something physical he stops me. I mean how am I supposed to talk to Ryan about this? He doesn't want to hear that I want to have sex with Braiden or anything like that so I am stuck here freaking out alone. I dig my phone out of my pocket, I need to call Aaron and wish him a happy birthday; I scroll down my contact's list and find his number and hit the dial button. I hesitate for a second but I know I need to call him. I miss him so much. "Hello?" he says on the other end. "Happy birthday sexy boy!" I tell him trying to sound cheerful despite this emotional hurricane I'm stuck in. I can hear the smile in his voice, "Chasen! You remembered? Thank you!" "Well yeah I remembered! How are you?" I ask. He pauses for a second, "I'm ok, I have been in California for like a day or so." "What you're in California, where at?" I try to pull the information out of him. "San Diego." He says. "That's not that far from where I live in Long Beach!" I tell him excitedly. He sighs "Yeah I guess...sorry I'm just tired Chase. I have been working non-stop since I got here..." "What do you mean?" I ask finally getting up off the floor. "I have been working non-stop for this stupid movie that my parents have me doing. Today, I have been up since five, going over lines with the helpers and preparing for scenes. Plus I've been put on this shitty diet." He tells me with no happiness detected in his voice. "Aaron it's your birthday and you are doing that stuff?" I ask in disbelief. I hear him let out another sigh, "Yeah, well fact is, you're the first person to even wish me a happy birthday, I haven't even seen my parents, they're somewhere on set." "I am sorry man, I wish I could bail you out of the set." I tell him. "It's ok. So what's going on with you?" he asks. "I am an emotional wreck, man school starts in like two days...I don't know how to handle it, I don't know if Braiden wants to be out or if it's going to be another Tanner issue..." I admit to him. I hear him let out a small laugh, "Chasen, you need to give him the benefit of a doubt, he isn't a thing like Tanner. Have you tried talking to him about it, or did you be Chasen and freak out on him out of nowhere?" Now it's my turn to let out a sigh, "I freaked out, but every time I try to initiate anything physical, he freezes up! He won't touch me, shit I still haven't seen him naked." I hear him let out a real laugh, "Well have you talked about having sex? I think you are making things up in your head and thinking that's the problem, and then you just freak out and that causes issues between you both. You need to stop doing that, or its going to cause you to lose the best thing in your life. Chasen, just because he doesn't want to have sex right now does not translate that he doesn't want to. Maybe he is waiting for the right time and when you stop pushing him into it." "Your right." I tell him feeling like a complete ass. "Hey I got to go, I have to get back to practicing and shit." He tells me. "Thanks Aaron, and I am sorry you have to work today, I love you." I tell him. I hear his breath catch, "Yeah you too." He says and hangs up. I put my phone down, great now I feel even worse then I did before calling him. He knew exactly what to tell me. I run my hands through my hair and walk to me door and take a deep breath. Now I need to find Ryan and Kyle. I need to apologize to them, it's not their fault that I am a wreck right now. I try Kyle's room first, I know he will forgive me easier than Ryan will, with less questions too, so I knock on the door and enter his room. I notice first that it's brighter in here. I see him sitting on his bed looking out the window when he turns to look at me, as always he has a smile on his face, "hey." "Hey Kyle." I say as I go sit on his bed. I see him smile again, I actually take notice of how he looks, the medicine must be doing really well. He doesn't have the dark rings under his eyes anymore he looks ...well healthy. "How are you feeling?" "I feel great; better than I have since I can remember. How are you?" he asks. "I'm going crazy I think." I tell him with a nervous laugh. "I thought you already were?" he says laughing. His laugh was a cute one, I don't think I have heard him laugh ever. I laugh with him, "I'm sorry about earlier, I was just stressed out and well there is no excuse to be mean." He smiles, "It's ok. I understand but I want to do something soon with you, me and Ryan." "It's a deal buddy." I say hugging him. "I am going to go find Ryan, and apologize to him if he doesn't kill me first." I tell Kyle. "He loves you, you do know that right? He is like that cause he takes his big brother role serious." Kyle says as I am walking back to the door. I shake my head and smile; I shut his door quietly and make my way down the hall to Ryan's room. I don't think I have actually ever been in his room. I knock on the door, I hear him grumble something so I open it and walk in. My first thought is that it's no wonder I haven't come in here before, there are posters of half naked girls all over his walls, plus random trophies on shelves. Not even counting the scattered clothes he hasn't bothered to pick up. I found him lying on his bed on the phone, tossing the football up in the air. "Let me call you back Ash." He tells the person on the phone and hangs up. "Hey." I tell him. "What do you want." He tells me, not looking happy to see me. "I wanted to apologize." I tell him. "Ok. Apology accepted you can leave." He says. I walk over and sit on his twin sized bed, "Ryan no. Please don't do this to me. We were having such a close relationship, I am sorry. I am going to have bad days, just like you. When you do I am not going to be a dick when you apologize." He laughs at me, "Chasen, we are fine. I just want to call this girl back I'm trying to get with!" he tells me with that devilish grin. I laugh and leave his room, now there is only one other person I need to apologize to and that's my boyfriend. I know he is at work, and I am pretty sure he is the only one there. I guess I will go see him. I fly down the stairs looking for my keys, I found them right where I left them, on the table by the door. I walk outside and I didn't realize what a beautiful day it actually is outside. The sun is high and bright in the sky and it is a little warm. Actually it feels great. I get into my car and start the engine to hear the low roar. I am actually glad we live just a block from the beach, because honestly I still hate driving. I don't know, just getting behind a vehicle is still scary to me. At least I don't freak out when I do manage to drive, I'm not scared to drive, I just don't like it, I guess I am just weird about it. I have my windows rolled down, so I can smell the air that comes off the ocean, there is no better smell. I can see the beach from the road and I spot the surf shop Braiden works at. I hope he isn't out giving lessons yet. I pull up to a parking spot and shut off the engine. I walk up the steps and open the door, I hear a little bell ding, and I see Braiden sitting on the counter in board shorts and a muscle shirt with a surfing magazine. I think that is Alex sitting by him in a chair looking at a magazine as they talk to each other. "Hey, what's up? Let me know if you need help." Braiden says without looking up from his magazine. Alex doesn't break contact from the magazine either, I laugh a little bit and look around the shop, it had wooden walls with tons of pictures of surfers and surfboards on it the isle were lined with surfboards, long boards, t-shirts, board shorts, wet suits. Pretty much everything you could think of, the glass counter in front of Braiden had stickers and surfing wax. I still don't announce my presence, it was cute to watch him, to see how he acted when I wasn't with him, and he acted well like a teenage boy. They would take little jibes at each other or talk about this board or that one, and mention surfers that they wanted to meet. I finally make myself known, "Yeah, excuse me I need a little help." Braiden's head shoots up from the magazine and he met my eyes and I could see the shock on his face, "Chasen? When did you get here?" I laugh, "When you greeted me about ten minutes ago." I see him go red in the face, and Alex looks up and gives a small wave, I return the favor, looking back at my boyfriend. "Hey Alex I am going to take a step out back and talk to Chasen, watch the front for me." He leads me back into the storage room, and outside to a little deck that you could see the beach off of. He sat down on a stool and looked over at me. "Hi." I say a little nervous. "Hi." He says back looking beyond me to the ocean. I walk over to him and stand in front of him, "I'm sorry for this morning. I am just really scared, about starting school and about us. I don't know I get these urges with you that I haven't ever had, not even with Tanner. That and we haven't even talked about us at school." He looks at me like he doesn't understand, "Chasen, what about us at school? I know I feel those urges too, I do. I just want it to be right; I don't know, I am just scared ok? I love you, you know that but when we do act on those urges, it will be just as new to me." He explains. "I just need to know what you want to do with school. I can't be put in the position I was in with Tanner, I was his dirty little secret." I tell him. He grabs my hands and pulls me into him, "Well I will be pretty upset with you if you don't act like you love me at school." He says and kisses me. I kiss him back, "But what about everyone at school?" "What about them, I am out to my parents, most of my friends know. So why should I care what everyone else thinks? They already think I am weird cause I have a kid." He tells me smiling. I kiss him again and smile, "Have you told Alex?" "I think he probably knows by now..." he says smiling at me. "He is right behind me huh?" I ask. "Yeah I am right behind you." He says laughing. I turn around slowly and Braiden puts his arms around my waist. "Hi Alex." "I knew Braiden was gay before you ever came to town so it's fine. Oh and Braiden we have a customer, you can make out with your boyfriend later." He says and turns back inside. "Come stay the night at my house tonight." I tell Braiden. "Really? You want me to come over there and stay?" He asks. "Yes I want you to be in my bed tonight." I tell him smiling. I kiss him on the lips and walk off the steps. I walk off smiling at him, I head to my car ready to get back home and well kind of tell my dad Braiden is coming over. I hope he will be ok with it, it's not like we are going to have sex anytime soon. Even if we did it wouldn't be in my house right now. I don't think about much on the ride home, I am just glad I have made amends with the people I love. I just don't want to freak out on them anytime soon again. I don't even know what brought on the whole freak out mode, I guess just way to much going on in my head...... As I park in the drive way I see my dad messing around in the flower bed. I get out of the car and walk to where he is. I watch as he tends to the flowers, clipping the dead leaves and petals off of them. "Hey dad." I say casual. "Hey Chase. Haven't seen you around in a bit." He says still tending to the flowers. "Yeah, been with Braiden." I tell him. He sits up and wipes the sweat from his forehead, "How is he? I haven't seen him around either." I laugh, "He is at work right now. You know him busy with Ian and work." I tell him. I sit down beside him in the grass, "So Caroline has you doing yard work today?" I ask. He looks at me strangely, "Actually these beds are mine. It's relaxing for me after a long hard day at work, to come home and see something beautiful in the front yard and to know that I've had a hand in helping create it, it gives me satisfaction." He explains. "Oh, I didn't think you would be into that." I say hesitantly. This causes another strange look at me, "Son you can be straight and still like to do things like this." "Yeah I know, just you didn't seem the type." I say trying to sound casual. He puts down his gardening tools and turns to me, "Ok spill." I just smile, "What do you mean?" He laughs at me, "Chasen, I know you want something. You forget there were three kids before I had the chance for you to come live with me. You are just like them, casual conversations that you don't really have interest in." "I do to have interest in this conversation, I didn't know you tended to flower beds." I say trying to defend myself. "You might be surprised I do, but spill." He tells me trying not to smile. I give a nervous laugh, "Well I kind of invited Braiden to stay the night, I just want to make sure it is ok." He squints his eyes at me as if trying to comprehend what I am saying, "You mean sleep in the same bed as you?" "Well yeah, that's the thing about sleeping over and he is my boyfriend." I tell him. "I don't think that's a good idea." He says skeptically. "What do you mean?" I ask getting a little upset. "Well you are seventeen son, and things tend to happen when boyfriends or girlfriends sleep over." He says. This kind of pisses me off, "Wow dad just, because I am gay doesn't mean I am fucking Braiden. Thanks for being understanding. His parents are actually understandable, we have talked about it and we have decided to wait, but thanks for jumping to the conclusion that we are. Thanks for having faith in me." I tell him getting up to walk away. "Chasen get back here!" he tell me with parental authority that usually scares me but after the rollercoaster of a day I just stand there. "Why so you can assume some more that I am having sex with every boy I have met, in case you are wondering Kevin, I am a virgin, Braiden hasn't even seen me unclothed. We have talked about it and he isn't ready and he knows deep down neither am I." I tell him. I see the hurt in his eyes when I called him by his name instead of dad, but right now I am too upset to deal with it. I don't understand why he doesn't comprehend that I am not having sex yet, yes I want to but Braiden knows I'm not ready even though I would if he wanted to, because I want to please him. That's what I am a people pleaser......but I don't think I can please everyone anymore. I turn away from him and walk into the house; I put the keys on the table and run up to my room and slam the door. I am almost in tears now. Not because I am sad I am just so pissed. I know it might seem like I am being a brat, but it hurts when you find out your dad thinks your plan is to have sex, when I just want Braiden over here to spend time with me and my brothers and sister. Maybe even try to mend Bray's friendship with Ryan. Plus Dad and Caroline can get to know him. His parents know me, and accept me openly, why can't mine. I hit my dresser in rage. I am just so pissed right now, how he can just assume that. Yes I am a teenager but we're all not the same. This is his home and I respect that. I am not going to just up and have sex. There is a knock at the door, and I immediately tell them to just go away, but the door opens a little bit and I see a hand slip through the crack with a white cloth in hand, "I came as a truce maker." I hear Caroline say. I can't help but laugh a little bit at this, leave it to her to diffuse what would have been a tense situation, "So can I come in honey?" she asks. "Yeah, just you though." I tell her. She slips in the door, she is really beautiful. She gives me that smile and comes and sits beside me on my bed, "So I heard about the little argument between you and your father." I look down, "yeah, I just...it upset me so much." I told her. She picks up my head to look me in the eyes. "Hun you can look at me when you talk, I know it upsets you, you have the right to be. You also need to see it from his side though as well." "I have, but he didn't even give me a chance to explain anything." I tell her. "I know and your father feels horrible about that, he is in my study room upset, because this is the first argument you both have had. Your father wants what is best for you even if he doesn't fully understand." She says. "I know, but Caroline, Bray's parents understand, we have sat down and talked about it, they accept me so much, hell his father told me come and go as I please." I tell her trying to hold the tears back. "I know I told your father that you aren't like most teenage boys, not because you are gay but because what you had to deal with growing up. You are way more mature than you should be, he knows that, he admitted that. I waved the white flag hun, I am not taking any sides in this, but I see and understand both sides. Just because he is your boyfriend doesn't mean you are having sex. Hands down I know I couldn't trust Ryan to have a girlfriend to stay over, but that's where the difference is between you and him. I told your father this." She says wiping the tears from my eyes. "I feel bad for getting upset with him, but after confronting my mom I just I can't have anyone let me feel so low as she has." I tell her. "Wait you saw you mother? In Florida?" she asks. I sigh, "Yes, but don't tell dad please. I am not ready to talk about it yet." She nods, "Ok hun, but we need to talk about it soon." There is a knock on the door and my dad walks in, he looks distressed for a lawyer, he can turn off the poker face when he is home, "Chasen I am sorry." He says. "I'm sorry too dad." I tell him. "I would like for Braiden to come over for dinner, and get to know him, and he can stay the night it you..." he trails off. "Dad I couldn't have sex in this house, not with all of you here." I tell him smiling. He smiles, "well get him over here, I am going to go get the grill started." I text Braiden telling him to come over after work and that I love him.. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Sorry everyone for it being so long to put this one out, I just didn't know where to start, but now I have a clue on where it's going. The next one will start after the first week of their junior year, there will be details on how it goes and all it will probably be a longer one than usual (so Ty be prepared and don't whine) CH. 11 will end ISOSG, and I do have a few things up my sleeve for this last chapter. If anyone is interested I will be posting my new story after ch.11 Still Not Quite Enough, it is different from this series its more edgy. I hope you like it as much as this series. The main character is different you will either hate him or love him, or love to hate him. I hope everyone is doing great if you haven't joined the yahoo group do so to keep up with what is coming I do announce things in between chapters that I do not mention on here! Thanks KD http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ssos_isosg/?yguid=467044529 Well thanks again Mr. Sexy voice for a great chapter. I guess I can take blame for a few of those days guys :( Hopefully Chase learns that communication is key to any relationship, be it a friend, boyfriend or even family. Can't wait to see Ryan's reaction to Bray sleeping over. Ryan is really stepping up and being the big brother that Kyle and even Chase needs. Will he be there for Chase when school starts?