Date: Sat, 15 Jan 2011 12:06:20 -0800 (PST)
From: K Davids <k.davids@ymail.com>
Subject: some sense of security/ in search of solid ground ch. 7

This story is pure fiction and is not intended to imply
anything about the true sexuality of the reader. This story
contains sexual contact between to underage males if this
is illegal to read where you live then please hit the back
button now!! Everything in this story is made up, the names
and people are fake: they are not real; I did not base them
off people I know! Please do not copy or paste this
anywhere else, but please feel free to email me
k.davids@ymail.com
-----------------------------------------------------------
Hey everyone thank you for the awesome comments and thank
you for dealing with the errors...I still don't know how the
hell that happened but I am working on it so it doesn't
happen again.
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In the end it's not about what you have.
In the end it's all about where you want to go
And the roads you take to help you get there.
I hope you think that's fair
Cause you've only got one life to lead.
So don't take for granted those little things.
Those little things are all that we have.
~This is The House That Doubt Built~ A Day to Remember
-----------------------------------------------------------
Characters
Chasen: Age 16- Main Character
Braiden: Age 16-Chasen's boyfriend
Ian: nearly a year old-Braiden's son
Kevin: Chasen's Father
Caroline: Chasen's Step Mother
Ryan: Age 16- Chasen's Brother
Kyle: Age 15- Chasen's Brother
Lexie: Age 14- Chasen's Sister
-----------------------------------------------------------

~Chasen~

	I bolt upright in bed, again just like the past three
nights, I wake up drenched in sweat. The sheets on my bed
have tangled themselves around me, trapping me and
suffocating me, they feel like chains. I kick them off and
lay back on my bed.

	I can't sleep, its four in the morning, honestly I
don't want to sleep anymore, not if these dreams keep
happening, I don't know why I am having them. My bed is
even drenched in sweat.  I push myself off the bed and
wander over to my dresser and find a new shift to throw and
find my shoes and slip them on.

	I slowly creep out of my room, I feel along the walls
because I don't trust myself to be able to stand up
straight on my own. I stop dead in the hall when I see a
silhouette, fear strikes, and my heart starts to pound
faster as the silhouette comes closer to me.

	"Chasen what are you doing?" the silhouette says to me
now that it's right in front of me.

	I am able to breathe again, and the fear starts to
subside it's just Kyle, "Kyle what are you doing up?" I
ask.

	He hugs me, "I'm not feeling to good I just threw up..."

	"Why didn't you go tell Dad or Caroline?" I ask him
bending to a knee to come face to face with him.

	I can tell from the moonlight that shines in the
window at the end of the hall that he is feeling bad, he is
paler than usual, and I see the beads of sweat on his
forehead where his hair is pushed up.

	"I didn't want to wake them up again, I have been
bugging them so much lately." he tells me looking sadder.

	I take him by the shoulders and steer him back to his
room, "come on let's get you back to bed. It's like three
in the morning."

	He lets me lead him into his room, its dark in his
room, which isn't unusual no one ever really comes into his
room, I think since the few months of me being here this is
like the third time in his room.

	I help him lay back down into his bed, which I notice
it's like a queen size, I feel him shiver, I feel bad for
him, I wished I could help him. I make sure to tuck him in
and I kneel down by his bed I kiss his forehead and start
to leave.

	As I am getting up he grabs my hand, "Please, Chasen
don't leave me yet......could you stay till I fall asleep
please?" he asks in a low whisper.

	It comes to a shock to me, I never have been put in
the role as an older brother, but I feel good that he
trusts me.  Kyle doesn't really reach out I noticed. So I
nod my head and climb over him and lay down beside him.

	He turns towards me, "Thanks. Chasen can I ask you a
question?"

	"Yeah, little man." I tell him.

	He snuggles up to me, and I can tell he is burning up,
but I don't mind, I doubt I will catch whatever he has,
"Why where you up? Are you ok? I been hearing you talk loud
while your asleep lately."

	I put my arm around him, "I'm ok buddy, let's just get
some rest ok, it will make you feel better."

	I laid there with him, soon I felt his breathing
become regular and I knew he was fast asleep, I didn't want
to move just yet. I used the time to mull over my
reoccurring dreams.  They scared me, and I hated to be
scared. I turned to look at the clock and it read three
forty five.

	I slowly climbed off the bed, I double checked and
made sure enough Kyle was fast asleep. I walked out of his
room slowly closing the door to make sure he didn't wake
up. I walked across the hall to my room and grabbed my
shoes and put them on.

	I went to my dresser and put on deodorant, I need to
get out of the house and run, I didn't bother with a shirt,
I hate wearing shirts when running, they get all clingy. I
slowly made my way out the door and made sure I locked it
with the key that is placed inside the fake rock near the
door.

	I start off in a nice slow pace; I start to speed up
my muscles, adjusting to the speed.  It feels good to work
away my problems...but I can seem to shake these nightmares I
guess you wouldn't be able to call them dreams if I wake up
scared like I always do.

	I start to slow down, this isn't working! I mentally
cuss myself, I think I am going crazy! I look around to
even see if I know where I am. I look at the house I
stopped in front of,  I was in front of Braiden's house. I
don't know why I stopped here I know he is fast asleep, but
at this moment I just wanted him to hold me.

	Even though his room was on the second floor, outside
of his window there was like a ladder thing that they used
for the ivy plant to climb on and grow.  So I carefully
tested it to make sure it would hold my weight and it was
sturdy, I climbed up to his window. I softly knocked on it,
I saw him stir...I hope I don't wake Ian up! I knock again
lightly and I see him sit up, and look over at the window.

	I took a step down so when he opened the window I
didn't fall or anything.  I waited impatiently as he
groggily made his way over and lifted up the window.

	I watched his head poke out of the window and look at
me, "Chasen? What are you doing?"

	"I don't really know honestly, I just needed you." I
tell him. Honestly I didn't know why I was there; I just
needed him to hold me.

	"Well come in." he tells me reaching for my hand and
helps me through the window.

	He helps me steady myself after my climb through the
window. I fall into his arms and hug him. He hugs me back,
"What is wrong babe?"

	"Just a lot! Well no not a lot, I can't sleep I
haven't slept in a while. Every time I do I have these
nightmares! I wake up scared, sweating and shaking." I tell
explain even though I feel like a fool.

	He runs his hand through my hair as he soothes me,
"Come on babe lets lay down." He tells me leading me to the
bed.

      I see that he is in just his boxers, he looks so good
in them the light from the window shining on him gives him
this glow.  I feel safe already. We lay down on the bed,
and I lay right beside him putting my head on his chest.
Just like I did the night I stayed and watched movies.

      "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to wake you up, did I wake
Ian?" I ask with concern.

      He bends down and kisses my head, "No he's at his
grandparents."

      "But, tomorrow is only going to be Thursday?" I ask
not understanding.

      He lets out a little laugh, "yeah I know. They are
going to a family reunion." He explains.

      I look up, "Won't Riley be there?"

      He sighs, "more than likely, it's her family."

      "Are you scared she will take him, or do something
stupid?" I ask looking up at him.

      "I am always worried about what the crazy witch will
do, I can't stand her, but I'm not going to refuse her the
right to see her son. I don't trust her as far as I could
throw her.  I do however trust the Patterson's." he tells
me and puts his arm around me.

      I kiss his chest, "Well that's good that you trust
them."

      "They try to help whenever they can." He says, "Babe
what is going on with you, what are the nightmares about?"
he asks.

      I shudder, "I don't want to talk about them right
now."

      "Okay well then we should try to get some sleep." He
says and pulls the cover up on both of us.

	I'm running down a long corridor, it only seems to get
longer and I can't stop running because I know she is there
right behind me. I can feel her eyes on me! I can hear her
swinging the belt back and forth, I hear the swooshing
through the air.  Then he steps out of the shadows and hits
me in the face like he did at the party, right when I found
out he cheated on me.

	That's when the blows start from my mother with the
belt, the leather biting my skin. I hear Tanner laughing at
me with every blow I receive from the belt. I look up at
him and try to cry out to him, but it's not really Tanner
it is but his face is disfigured, it's like swirled and
contorted, I look to my mom to try and beg her to stop, and
it's the same with her the face is disfigured.

	That's when the laughing starts as my mother continues
to hit me with the belt, I look and see Braiden, Ryan,
Kyle, Lexie, Caroline, and even my dad laughing at me,
their faces are the same. I hear them telling me I deserve
to be beat that I did all this, it's my entire fault!

~Braiden~

	I feel Chasen start to shake. I didn't think about it
but he starts to move more wildly, I open my eyes and he is
whimpering, and starting to yell, I try to talk to him, and
wake him up but he is fighting with the covers now.

	"Chasen! Chasen! Babe wake up, it's just a nightmare
baby, wake up!" I tell him while I shake him.

	He wakes up screaming and starts to cry, I don't know
what to do. I try to reach out a hand to him, "Chasen are
you ok?"

	It brings tears to my eyes to see him rocking back and
forth holding his knees he is covered in swear, I move
closer to him and wrap my arms around him, "Babe it's ok.
It was just a bad dream."

	He grabs me and puts his face to my chest, and I hear
him start sobbing harder, I wished I knew what to do. I
feel horrible for him. I hold him while he cries.

	He finally stops, "I'm so sorry..." he whimpers to me.

	"Hey babe," I tell him and pick his head up, "Don't
apologize for anything, you did nothing wrong." I tell him
and kiss him.

	"I shouldn't of came over and woke you up cause all
this mess happened!" he says.

	"It's ok! Chasen I am your boyfriend, I don't care if
I don't get any sleep as long as you're ok. That's what
makes me happy. Now what did you dream about?" I ask trying
to understand what's going on.

	"I don't want to tell you, you will see how screwed up
I am!" he tells me with his eyes full of tears.

	I hold him, "Chasen, you aren't anymore screwed up
than I am, ok. You just had a harder life than most, please
babe."

	He looks up and tries to gain his composure. I sit
patiently as he starts to explain the dream to me, I can
see how hard it is to explain something so terrible and I
can feel him tense as he gets to certain parts.

	I hold him after he has told me, he is sobbing so hard
I am scared that he will pass out, "babe calm down ok, it's
just a nightmare ok no one will ever hurt you like that
again."

	After awhile the sobs start to fade, and before I know
it he is passed out against my chest, I feel his breathing
return to normal. I keep stroking his hair and I eventually
dose off to the rhythm of his breathing against me.

	I wake up a few hours later and he is still asleep on
my chest. I move him softly off me so I can go use the rest
room.

	I slowly tip toe to the restroom, trying hard not to
wake him up, I empty my full bladder and it is such a
relief to do so.

	I walk back into the room and he is awake propped up
against the back board of my bed.

	"Hey sleepy head." I say and smile at him.

	"Hi......I have the biggest headache ever!" he mumbles.

	I laugh, "Because you had a rough night last night
babe."

	"I am sorry Bray." He says.

	"Chasen I told you it is fine ok?" I tell him as I sit
back on the bed.

	"Thanks..." he says hugging me.

	"So to take your mind off of bad dreams, are you ready
for school?" I ask.

	He looks at me, "Wait when does it start?"

	I laugh, "In about two weeks man."

	"NO WAY! really? I am not ready for it at all, I am
nervous and scared!" he says looking at me with the most
innocent face.

	I laugh harder, "Dude relax, it's just school besides
you will have your family there and you will have me."

	"Yeah, you're forgetting one thing we are boyfriends now
and I am pretty sure you are not even out." He says.

	I shift uncomfortably on the bed, "No I am not out yet
at school but I will be." I tell him.

	"No I don't want you to ruin your life, not because of
me." He says.

	This upsets me a little bit, "Chasen I was gay before
I knew you and before we started going out I planned on
coming out this year! I don't care what happened in your
past, I am not Tanner. I like you and I don't care who
knows and who doesn't like it!"

	He jumps onto me and kisses me, "Bray, did I ever
mention how cute you are when you get frustrated with me?"

	I just laugh, "Did I ever mention how incredibly cute
you are no matter what?"

	He kisses me again, and I kiss him back, we start to
get into a heavy make out session, he is grinding against
me and I have to push him off.

	"Babe slow down." I tell him.

	"I am sorry just I can't help myself." He says
blushing.

	He boldly makes a move to my shorts and starts to pull
them down. I get a little nervous, I shift uncomfortably.
He notices me do this he stops and starts to kiss me more.

	He slowly slips his tongue into my mouth; we massage
each other's tongues for awhile, and slowly kissing. He
starts to rub against the crotch of my shorts causing me to
start to get hard.

	I let my hands begin to roam all over his back down to
his cute bubble butt, and I squeeze it making him moan in
pleasure.  He in returns now grabs my fully rock hard cock
through my shorts causing me to moan loud, he presses he
lips over my mouth.

	I slip my hands down the back of his shorts and I grab
his ass, it's so smooth and I rub both of the cheeks. I
tease him by slowly tracing my finger along the fold of his
cheeks, I kiss him harder.

	He starts to work his hand into my shorts; he makes
his way past the band of my boxers, and grabs my hard cock
and gives it a firm squeeze, causing me again to moan. He
just gives me his wicked little smile.

	"Babe, we can't do this." I whisper in between kisses.

	"Why can't we I want this." He whimpers back.

	I stop kissing him and remove my hand from his shorts,
"Babe...I know you're not and neither am I. I like you so
much but I don't want our first time to be well like this,
I want it to be great!"

	He removes his hands from my shorts, "Your right babe.
I just got so caught up kissing you kind of let go."

	"Well I would love to keep kissing, but I need to get
to work in about fifteen minutes." I tell him kissing him
and getting up.

	"FINE!" he says and smiles at me.

	He lies back on my bed as I look around for a shirt I
want to wear, as I am digging through my closet, I hear his
phone go off.

	"Hey..." he says

	Even though I cannot hear the voice on the other end
of the line, I see his face grow worried, and he hangs up
quick.

	"What's wrong babe?" I ask.

	"I have got to go, that was my dad he said I needed to
come home ASAP, there's an emergency." He says getting up
looking pale already.

	I walk over to him and put my arms around him, "Babe I
will drive you home ok? Don't stress just yet we don't know
what it is. It could be minor emergency." I tell him.

	He nods his head and I kiss his forehead.  I throw on
some deodorant and sandals. "Let's go." I tell him leading
down the stairs from my room.

	I can tell he is worried so I don't think twice about
speeding to his house, so that he can find out what is
going on with his family.

	We arrive faster than I think, plus I need to book it
and get to work I have like five minutes before my shift
starts.

	I hug him and kiss him, "Babe let me know ok?" I tell
him.

	He nods back and gets out of the car. I watch as he
walks towards the door. He looks back at me and gives me a
very forced smile.

	He opens the door and heads in, I sit there watching,
I don't know why but I felt that something bad just
happened and he doesn't really need that right now.

	I pulled out of the drive way so I could start heading
to work. My mind is reeling from everything that has went
down today even though the make out session and grabbing
session was so hot.


~Chasen POV~

	It felt like my lungs were failing on me as I was
opening the door to my house, I didn't know what was going
on. Fact is with all the nightmares I didn't really what to
know what is happening.

	I walked in and it was quiet, that right there didn't
make me feel and better, "Dad?" I holler out.

	"In here in the dining room son." I hear him say. It
wasn't his normal cheerful voice.

	I started to walk towards the dining room, everything
in my head shouted not to go into that dining room, that
nothing there would be good. But me being me I didn't
listen I walked into the dining room.

	They were all sitting at the table; Dad, Caroline,
Ryan, Lexie, and even Kyle.  The problem was that they all
had sad expression on their face like they didn't believe
what had happened.

	"Dad, what's going on?" I ask getting even more
nervous.

	"Son, I think you need to take a seat." My dad said
pointing to one that was left open for me right next to
him.

	"No I am fine what is going on what's the emergency?"
I asked getting irritated.

	"Chasen I really wished you would sit down." He tells
me again.

	"Just tell me already what the huge emergency is!" I
say getting more upset.

	My dad sighs and looks over at Caroline, who just nods
her head as if to say just tell him.  "Chasen it's about
Tanner..."

	I shift uncomfortably I don't like talking about him
with family, "What about him."

	"Son, he was killed in a car wreck last night..." he
says very slowly.

	"Everything in my brain just exploded, I couldn't
believe what I just heard, "What did you just say?" I ask
him looking at him.

	"Tanner died late last night early this morning from a
car wreck, someone ran a red light, and hit him on the
driver's side, they had him in the ICU unit but his body
had suffered too much trauma." My dad says getting up out
of his seat.

	I stared at him blankly, I couldn't even feel anything
in my body it was like, I had been hit in the stomach.  I
just couldn't believe what I was hearing.....Tanner my Tanner
dead?

	"Dad..my...Tan..." is all I could manage to get out,
and my knees gave out and I fell to the floor, before I
knew it I was crying so hard.

	My dad runs over to me and kneels and wraps me in his
arms and holds me, he tries to consol me and soothe me, but
it's not doing any good. I feel like my heart was ripped
out of my chest and stomped on.

	I couldn't even think straight. Everything was
blurring I couldn't breathe. I kept hearing multiple voices
but I couldn't tell them apart. I couldn't stop myself from
crying...

-----------------------------------------------------------

	I open my eyes, my head feels like it's about to
explode there is pain behind my eyes, I reach up to hold my
head and I feel a body next to me. I look over and it's
Tanner.

	I look around we are in his room but it's not quite
his room, it looks fake, I don't understand it, but I don't
care at the moment.

	I smile, as he looks up at me, "You're alive!" I
whisper smiling to him.

	He just smiles at me, "only inside of you now Chasen..."

	My smile falters, "You mean this is just a dream isn't
it?"

	He nods his head, "Yeah, I am just something you made
up because you know we'll never see one another again and
wanted to see me, I guess one last time."

	"I don't believe that your gone, it isn't supposed to
be like this...I still love you just I am with Braiden
now." I tell him as a tear leaks from my eyes.

	He gives me that smile that used to make my knees
weak, "I know you are, and I am sorry for everything I did
to you, I am proud of you. You are such a great person
Chasen..."

	"I am going to miss you." I tell him...

	"Don't do that you, have got a good boyfriend, hey I
had my chance. I am going to miss you too..." he says
smiling.

	"Yeah Braiden is pretty amazing to me, I wished we
could have talked when you were here. There's so much I
needed to say." I tell him.

	He smiles, "its water under the bridge bud, my times
up I have to go."

	"So soon?" I ask.

	He nods his head and leans in and kisses me on my
cheek, "Look after Aaron ok?  You know you and I were the
only ones he clinged too."

	I just nod as he starts to walk away, I start to tear
up again...I watch him as he fades till I cannot see him
anymore and I know he is gone...

	"Chasen! Chasen! Wake up, wake up!" I hear someone
screaming.

-----------------------------------------------------------

	I slowly open my eyes, my dad is leaning over me,
"Buddy you ok?"

	I just nod and grab my head, "Dad..." I say before I
choke up and the tears come back again.

	He sits with me and holds me, I can't help it I just cry and I don't
know what to do, I feel as if I have lost something so
important to who I am now, that I don't know how I am
supposed to go on...

	"It's ok Chosen, it's going to be ok..." my dad whispers
to me. While he rocks back and forth with me.

	I don't know at this point I don't think I can feel
anything I feel numb to everything, I don't know how he
expects me to think it's going to be ok for me when my
first love is dead, he is dead lying on some cold metal
table in a freezer dead...

	"Why couldn't it be that bitch of a mother of mine
that died instead of him!" I scream out.

	My shock the hell out of my father, with that
outburst.  I can't do this...I can't just sit here on the
floor. I shove away from my dad...and run blindly up to my
room.

	As I am running up the stairs, I hear my dad call
after me. He tries to come after me as I look back I see
Caroline stop him, I am glad she does. I don't think I can
be around him right now or anyone...

	I run to my room and slam the door... I slide down and
sit with my back to the door. I wrap my arms around my
knees, I can't stop crying I just don't understand why it
had to be Tanner... I loved him, maybe not the same type of
love I once did but he was the that saved me.

	I remember when he first talked to me, I was walking
home from work it was storming but I didn't care it was
better than being at home and he pulled over and made me
let him give me a ride home...

	I remember our first kiss... it was so great, I
remember us touching each other, the bracelet he gave me.
The smile he gave me when I said I would go out with him.

	I hear a knock at my door, "Chasen, can I come in?"
Lexie asks.

	"Please just go away! I don't want to talk to anyone."
I tell her in between catching my breath from crying.

  	I can't, talk to her I don't want to be hugged or
anything I just I don't know what I want.....I just feel so
numb except for this gaping hole in my heart...yes that's
what is making me numb.

	I guess after about ten minutes after Lexie leaves
there is another knock on my door.

	"Go away!" I shout.

	"Chasen get the hell out of the way and let me in."
Ryan says.

	It doesn't register with me that this wasn't him
asking that he was telling actually me to move, I scoot out
from in front of the door and open it.

	He walks in and he doesn't even stop. He walks right
over to me and pulls me off the floor and embraces me with
a hug.  "You have to stop pushing us away... We are your
family. Damn it I am almost your twin! You can't handle
this on your own Chasen I don't care how strong you think
you are."

	I just let him hug me, I don't try to fight him, I
know he is right......just I've never had family be there for
me when something has happened to me before, my mother
didn't give a fuck about me.

	"Dad is on the phone to the airlines, I am going with
you." He tells me still hugging me.

	"Going where?" I manage to choke out.

	"Florida, to his funeral..." he says.

	I try to push away.  "I can't go! I won't!"

	He holds me out, I can't help but look back at him,
"yes you are. If you don't go Chasen you will regret it and
I am not going to have that happen. I may not have thought
much of him when he was here, but I am going to support you
and his family is amazing. I know how happy you are now
Chasen, if you don't go it will eat at you and you won't
forgive yourself..."

	I give up trying to fight against him, I know he is
right and I don't want to regret if I didn't go, "your
right..."

	He smiles at me, "I know I am. I am older than you."

	I smile back and there is a knock on the door frame we
both turn and look. It's Braiden.

	"I will let you to talk." Ryan says and he leaves.

	Braiden rushes over to me and hugs me, "You ok babe?"

	I just shrug, "I don't know..." I tell him.

	He just hugs me, "Chasen, I care so much about you, I
hate that you're in pain... but Ryan is right you need to
go."

	I look at him, "You're not going to be mad?"

	"No babe, you loved him!  I could never be mad at you
for going to say good bye... plus Aaron is going to need you,
I will be here when you get back waiting for you." Braiden
tells me then kisses me on the lips.
-----------------------------------------------------------

	Well that is Chapter 7! Please don't hate me for the
huge twist in the story!  Thank you guys for sticking with
me through all this!  The move is not going to happen I
touched on an explanation on the yahoo group just some of
the things I found out did not settle with me so I am
staying that way I know everyone can have access to it,
remember join the yahoo group to keep updated on
everything!

Chapter 8, will be the funeral and the return home, and
maybe even the start of school we will see how Chasen acts
after the funeral and maybe we will see Aaron again.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ssos_isosg/?yguid=467044529

KD



KD, You fucking prick lol you are one evil egh !!!! I don't
know about anybody else but I sure as hell didn't see that
coming. I bet KD is just laughing his ass off at my
reaction. I guess when he says a twist it's a TWIST! lol.

I'm speechless ........

Sorry guys I was late emailing this back to KD, hope you
guys aren't too upset, I know KD was :( *puppy dog look*


KD: Yet I still have to correct your comments......