Date: Sat, 21 Sep 2002 11:18:52 -0500
From: tenz sstephen <tenzsteph@mail.com>
Subject: Soon Morning Came

Soon morning came
Tenzin Stephen

(It happened in the small Tibetan town of Dharamsala in Himachal Pradesh,
India)

My story starts in the late 80s and its still on the roll. I do not know
where its going to take me but I have hope in my heart and I wake up every
morning thinking or rather wishing that today will be the day when I will
meet my dream boy. Night comes and I find myself alone again in bed
fantasizing about someone somewhere. I fret at times and to cool myself
off, I dig deep into my trunk for the hidden pin up books I bought when I
was in Europe. I look at these gorgeous boys and I jerk myself off. At
other times when I am not that depressed, I write about how proud I am to
be none other than me. Either way it isn't that bad as it used to be. I get
my fair chances to sneak out and go to GayBombay parties in Bombay and some
other fancy parties in Delhi though I rarely get lucky.

It was way back in my teen years when I first came to terms with reality.
At an age of 13, I had sex with a girl much younger than me and my god it
was something when that juicy stuff rolled out of my instrument. I guess
the girl was too young to produce any juice but still her gripping me
strong was quite a sensation. I was so sure then that I would be crazy
about chicks all my life. I do not know how things changed. I was best
friends with all the girls and I was an alien to the boys world. My parents
thought it would be wise to keep me close with girls so that I would
behave. Gradually I came to understand that I am attracted to boys rather
than girls. At night in the boarding school I attended, in the dormitory I
used to wake up in the middle of night and play with older boys' penises
sometimes in secret and sometimes the boys themselves didn't resent. I
remember this one instance when I woke up late at night and crawled into
another boy's bed. He didn't move or did anything but he gradually got a
hard on. I got tired after too much play, I decided to leave him alone but
the moment I began to move my hands away, he grabbed them. My heart was
pumping like a mad man's wondering what's he going to do now. Will he tell
the whole school what I was doing? Oh man that was shitty scary. But to my
surprise, he took my hands to his groin to pump it for some more time until
he came. I was too young to be tasting the cum and to be honest it put me
off a bit when he threw the stuff all over my hands. I cleaned it off on
his underwear and went to bed.

Another interesting incident you might want to hear is - when I was sixteen
I shared a room with another boy named Thinley of the same age. He is cute
and he was one of those guys who are most sought after by girls. It was
during the rainy monsoon season. Another night of rain and thunder and the
roof on top of my bed was leaking. The raindrops were falling directly upon
me. I didn't know what to do so the only solution, as it seemed was to go
sleep in my roommate's bed. I woke him up and asked him if I could get into
his bed and explained why. He said yes. About two hours past and he was
fast asleep. I was still awake and getting hornier and hornier feeling his
naked body next to mine. I didn't know where to start cause I really wanted
to fuck him so bad.

An idea popped up! I gently took his hand and placed it on my hard dick. If
he takes it away, that means he is not interested. So I placed it there and
waited for a couple of seconds. Amazingly he started to rub my dick covered
in white underwear. He then slowly removed my underwear. Both of us in the
dark without even speaking a word started the business. We were both
elated. I jerked him off and he did the same to me. I didn't want to take
him in my mouth. I knew what blowjob is but still I was a novice and didn't
want to indulge in anything, which seemed like filth at the time. Strange
enough, I attempted to have him suck my dick instead, his lips were tightly
closed but still I took the tip of my penis with my hand and tried to shove
it in. He resented, so I just rubbed it gently over his mouth and face. The
sensation was great. He also tried to experiment. He made me turn upside
down so that he could get into me but then I wasn't sure how it was
supposed to work. I just kept my butts tightly closed and he didn't get his
way. We kept jerking off each other. For sometime he made love to the area
between my thighs and at the end we both came. He threw his loads on my
stomach and I threw mine on his. Tired we lay there in silence hugging each
other and rubbing out sweaty wet bodies.

Those were adventures, including peeking into shower rooms. The guy later
moved to the US with his family and I lost touch with him. I heard he
enrolled himself in the military. Does that supposed to mean something? The
real thing that hit my heart came some years later at 18. It was my second
last year in high school, some new students have come from distant places
and I became fast friends with a guy named Paulden. He was very good
looking. He was a mixed breed; oriental mixed with Indian, which makes a
guy chocolaty and hot. I fell for him right from the first instant I saw
him. He was from a troubled family and he poured out his heart to me. I
helped him get through tough times and in return he offered me solid
company. I used to feel proud having him around me all the time - you know
in the school cafeteria, library, etc. He was the center of attention and
everyone knew that we were best of friends.

A year went by and we shared a room together in the school hostel. I was
slowly falling madly in love with him. I am bound not to tell him anything.
But I thought he knew my feelings. Depression hit me hard on and he would
ask me, "Tell me what's going on in your head, I'll see if I could cure
you".  I felt like telling him, "I love you Patrick, I can't live without
you, I want to make love to you and live my life for you and only you".
Huh! I didn't have the balls to tell him that. In fact I wasn't scared of
him bashing me up but instead I was scared he would say, I like you as a
friend and not a lover. What world was I living in? I thought I was in
California or Munich instead of this small town in Himachal Pradesh. Those
were times before I ever read a gay love story and before I started
travelling. As I look back I am amazed by the fact that I was indeed a very
open-minded character after all. It never mattered how small a town I grew
up in and in what kind of a close-knit society I was raised.

In the middle of summer that year I was caught with Patrick outside the
school boundary wandering without permission from the discipline master.
The two of us were punished and we weren't allowed to go with the other
students to the yearly trek up the snow mountain. It kind of thrilled me -
thinking of spending two days and three nights alone with my dear Paulden.
During our last night together, we both went to around 11:30 at night. We
were both fast asleep. Just before closing my eyes, in the dark I looked at
him. He had half of his body covered with white bed sheet exposing his
naked slender back and smooth muscled chest in profile with a rim of soft
moonlight hitting his body and covering it like a dark painting.

I don't know how to really explain what happened next. I woke up in the
middle of the night half conscious. I found myself getting up and taking
off my clothes. I stood in darkness naked under the moonlight for sometime
and then with a hard on, pulled myself into Paulden's bed. I don't remember
whether he was asleep or awake. I hugged him and kissed him and even went
as far as caressing his short thick penis. Oh remember, he was wearing a
tight underwear, so rubbing him with this thing on was not possible, so I
touched his soft dick briefly down to the ball and put the cotton back
on. I rubbed it without removing his clothing. I touched him all over. A
little later I was wide awake. I felt so bad about what I was doing.
Paulden was awake as well. He didn't move his body even an inch. He was
controlling his breath so that I wouldn't know he was awake. I did all this
in a trance of some kind that I don't understand even now. I wanted to stop
but I couldn't. Now that I have already started, what ever is going to
happen tomorrow will happen. Paulden is the victim here and I the evil
molester. It was such an intensely scary moment. Emotions crept in and I
began to cry but what the fuck my dick was still erect like ever and seemed
like it asking for more. With my body now barely touching him, I
masturbated crazy. Oh you bet it couldn't get better. The excitement, the
tension, the fear, the shame and above all ecstacy all rolled in one. Heaps
of cum oozed out. I lay there in silence for a while after this. Moments
later, I hugged him close to me and kissed him softly on his bare back
leaving it wet with my tears and went back to my bed.

I couldn't sleep all night worrying about what is going to happen the next
day. Several times, I thought of killing myself so that I don't have to see
the end of the night. I didn't have the balls to do that either and soon
morning came. The other boys started flocking in after their adventure trip
bringing with them stories of how they made out with girls. The night
before was the last time Paulden ever spoke with me. He turned himself into
a mute for me but he didn't spare telling the other boys about me being
gay. Of course I am sure he didn't tell the rest how I tried to fuck him.
He would be too embarrassed to do that.

After that he tried to make my life miserable closing each and every door
he once had wide open for me. I am gay so what? I am not weak. I wanted
something and I tried getting it. I didn't get it but it taught me a lesson
- a big one. I graduated from high school by the end of that year and I
never saw the guy ever again. I had one relationship so far with a man
named Thomas. It was more based on satisfying physical needs. I am now
really really looking for a man with whom I can share the rest of my life
with. I came out to my sister a year ago and she doesn't seem to mind. I
don't see the point of coming out to my dad cause I am sure he wouldn't
understand and mom has left for heaven a long time back. I am now a happy
man proud of who I am.

Copy rights: tenzin Stephen 2002

So guys, what do you think of the story. As an after note I would like to
tell you that this is my true story. I am a Tibetan and my second name here
is not my real name.  I have never met another gay Tibetan but most of the
time I am interested in white guys. Don't know why... You may respond to
me at this email address: tenzsteph@mail.com