Date: Wed, 10 Jun 2015 22:40:21 -0400
From: Anthony Tony <tunistony@aol.com>
Subject: Starting Over- Chapter 8

This story comes from my brilliant imagination and is a work of fiction.

email those comments:  tunistony2@yahoo.com



Starting Over



Chapter 8



	Throughout the whole weekend all I could think about was thoughts
of Cole. Well, more like irrational fears about him. I had a bunch of
"what-ifs" floating around in my head. Like:


	 "Maybe Kevin and Emma were right about Cole".


	"Maybe Cole has a darker secret than I'm prepared to handle".


	 And worst of all, "Maybe I can't trust Cole at all". I'm not sure
why that thought scared me the most. I just feel like ever since my memory
went to shit, the only thing I have a clear feeling about is my connection
to Cole.


	Either way, after that restless weekend I was so pent up with
anxiety and confusion once I got back to school. When I got to school on
Monday morning I was trying to forget about my anxities and push my
emotions back, after all I've had a lot of experience doing that. I wasn't
having much luck though because I couldn't escape anyone. I was walking
down the hall when I almost ran into Emma but I swerved around the corner
before she could see me. Then I cautiously walked down another hallway when
Kevin came casually walking toward me. Luckily he was looking down at his
phone so I quickly walked through the nearest doorway which happened to
lead to the parking lot.


	I just needed to keep my worries away and it wouldn't help if I had
to interact with the exact people who gave me those anxieties. I thought a
little breather outside would do me some good before school started. So I
went and sat on a bench at the back of the school where not many people
are. I was just calming down and realizing how idiotic and dramatic I was
acting. But then I saw the only person I really did not want to see.


	I sat there stunned as I saw Cole get out of the passengers seat of
a car. That's not what stunned me though, it was the fact that some guy
came out the driver's side and went around to the side where Cole was
standing and stood real close to Cole. They looked like they were in an
intimate conversation, then the guy talking to Cole stepped even closer to
him and brings him into a hug. A very close, very personal looking hug.


	I was outraged. I couldn't believe all the rumors about Cole were
true. He is a little slut who is trying to get with every guy. I can't
believe I defended him so much, to the point where I was almost expelled! I
thought I knew him... I thought I could trust him. I don't know why I
thought I could because I knew him as well as I knew anyone else in my life
at this point. Why did I just blindly trust him? I'm such a fucking idiot.


	I kept watching him and the other guy but I couldn't stand it
anymore, I was seething. I was about to get up and go back into the school
but I thought: 'I should confront the little bastard'.I was seeing red. I
was ready to fight someone and this time it might just be Cole. Maybe I do
have anger issues... well whatever, that's something to worry about later.


	I quickly walked up to the car with my fists clenched and got right
in their space. I'm not gonna lie, I did feel very satisfied when the guy
at the car looked terrified, while Cole just looked concerned.


	"What the fuck is this!" I exclaimed bitterly.


	I must have been looking like a mad man because the guy backed away
from Cole and me with his hands up defensively.


	"Man I don't know what your problem is but I didn't do anything."
the guy said quickly.


	Cole jumped in, "Yeah Matt, what is going on?"


	"I asked you first. So how about you stop playing around for one
second and just explain this all to me because I'm apparently a little bit
slow these days!" I tried to get in Cole's face and take advantage of my
height over him to intimidate him more. I think I have officially lost my
mind... but I don't care.


	Cole was starting to look properly scared now, but he still had the
audacity to address that guy behind him, "Dave I think you should go,"


	I cut him off, "No! I want him to stay, he's as much a part of this
as you are." I tried to step closer to 'Dave' but Cole put himself in
between us.


	"What does he have to do with any of this?" Cole says
cautiously. He probably thinks we're talking about something else. I'll set
him straight.


	"What does he have to do with this, you ask," Yep I've lost
it. "Well maybe it's the fact that you're fucking him and also half the
male population at this school, you little slut!" I said in one breath.


	I could instantly see the blood drain out of Cole's face and his
eyes went wide and Dave looked equally as shocked. I guess getting caught
can do that to you.


	"Whoa, what do you," Dave started but I cut him off.


	"No you don't get to talk!" Then I turned my attention back to
Cole, who looked completely mortified. I basically pointed the accusatory
finger in his face, "You, Cole. You are... truly an actor. One of the
finest actually. Because I believed that you were this innocent little
thing who needed to coddled and protected... and defended. But no, you were
just putting up a facade, a fake image of what I wanted to see. I was so
gullible to think that you were a genuine person. I should have know by now
that anyone whose in my life is not as they seem. Everyone is deceitful and
has a hidden agenda. I just couldn't see yours as clearly." By now Cole
looked devastated, but I wasn't sure if it was because his cover was blown
or because I was mad at him. I looked over at Dave and he looked kind of
angry now or some kind of emotion I couldn't really make out.


	I continued my rant, "You know you were the only one I felt..." I
scratched that thought. "Nevermind. I heard how you were bascially
soliciting sex from these guys, like Kyle Ferguson and Anthony Delvine. I
didn't want to believe the numerous people who told me these things and
tried to warn me about you. But then I see you and... Dave here, in a
pretty compromising position. And now, I just can't ignore it anymore."


	I looked at Cole and he looked ashamed and stood there silently,
but the weird thing was he didn't look guilty. He looked as if he just saw
his worst nightmare and now he's spooked. I know how that feels.


	Since Cole wasn't moving or saying anything the guy behind him came
forward and looked down right pissed. "How fucking dare you accuse him of
that." Dave said while getting right in my face, he was almost my size but
I had some height on him. I didn't back down, I was ready for the
challenge.


	"Why? Am I wrong?" I challenged.


	"My brother would never do anything like what you just said." He
said defiantly.


	Wait what! Did he just say brother? I was so startled I stumbled
back a little. "What did you say? Brother? What do you mean... brother?" I
said quickly, gesturing at both Cole and Dave.


	"He's my brother, you asshole, not my fuck buddy. I don't know
where you heard these rumors from but they're stupid lies. And yeah, you
must be gullible to believe those rumors. I don't know why you're suddenly
victimizing him but you better fuck off!" He said as he pushed me back a
bit.


	Now I was truly stunned. I just stood there, like an idiot, with my
mouth hanging open. They're brothers? The more I looked at them standing
next to each other the more I saw the resemblance. They both had silky dark
hair and those sparkling blue eyes (even though Cole's eyes are slightly
bigger and more angelic). The only difference was that Dave was a bit
taller than Cole. Suffice to say, I feltl like a complete dumbass. What I
thought was an exchange of an intimate hug between two fuckbuddies was
actually a hug between two brothers.


	I mustered up the courage to look at Cole again and he still looked
ashamed, but now I realized he was ashamed of me. I knew I had fucked up
once again when he just looked past me at the school building and said,
"We're gonna be late for school. Let's go Dave," he said in a monotone
voice. He walked past me like a zombie and his brother knocked my shoulder
with his own as he walked quickly behind Cole.


	I watched them go into the school. Why is my life such a
complicated mess? When will I stop messing up, is the real question.


	I looked up at the sky with my hands on my head and said, "Shit!"
to the sky.


__________________________________________________________________



	In detention...again. Don't worry I didn't get in trouble again,
this is just leftover punishment from my last offense (when I got into a
fight with Kevin). The principal gave me a month's worth of detention and
this is just my second week. It's not like I ever have anything else
planned on account of all my jock "friends" abandoning me after I fought
with Kevin. He made sure to spin the story so that it seemed like I
attacked him for no reason. Either way I never really felt included with
those guys anyways.


	However, detention is a particular nuisance because it gives me
some time to really think about all the damage that I have done in the past
couple weeks. I'm able to fully process how much I royally fucked up all
hope of Cole liking me. Also, I have the particular joy of thinking about
how much I've worried my parents and how I'm quickly losing their trust
with each passing day. The only good thing about having detention everyday
is that usually no one gets detention on a Monday (I guess trouble happens
at the end of the week) so on Mondays I get to be alone. And lucky for me,
today's Monday.


	I walked into the room for detention and looked at the teacher who
monitors detention and gave him a nod of recognition. Since I'd been going
there for a week we had became silent acquaintances. I think we had a weird
empathy for each other because we both knew the excruciating boredom that
comes from being in that room every day. For me there's nothing to do in
detention besides homework, and I got all of that finished last week. And
for him there's nothing to do except grade papers, which looks even more
boring than doing homework.


	I was trying to perfect the art of doing nothing but then I
realized that I could get a break from the boredom and go to the
bathroom. I stood up and pointed towards the door, "Bathroom?" I asked.


	He just looked up vaguely and said, "Go ahead," with a waving
motion.


	I didn't really have to use the bathroom but I needed to get away
from that room for awhile. I round the corner and heard the faint sound of
people talking in a classroom down the hall. I was totally confused because
I knew that no one is usually here after hours or at least I didn't think
anyone else would want to be at school this late besides people in
detention.


	I walked cautiously towards the room where the talking was coming
from and the door was open so I stood at the door and looked in. There was
about 5 people in the room and they all had notebooks out and looked like
they were trying to figure out something complex. They looked like they
were studying but yet they all seemed to be enjoying it, which was kinda
weird. They barely acknowledged me but one person caught my eye. Emma. She
looked really excited and immediately jumped up and came towards the door
while everyone else looked on curiously.


	"Hey Matt, what are you doing here?" Emma looked at me confused.


	"I could ask you the same question." I quipped.


	"I'm here for Scholastic League... Are you trying to join or
something? No offense, but I didn't really think you were the most
academically inclined." She remarked with a smirk.


	"What? Oh, no, I'm here for detention." I guess that explains the 5
smart people huddled in a classroom who actually look happy about studying
after school.


	"Oh, of course," She said like she just had a revelation, "You're
after school for detention. Well you obviously have the wrong room."


	"Yeah, I know that. I've been going to detention for a week."


	"Right. Is it for your fight with Kyle? You seem to be in a fight
every week now. You're a regular Mike Tyson aren't you." She laughed.


	What does that even mean? Whatever, she says a lot of things that I
don't get. "Look I should probably let you get back to your... club." I was
turning around to walk back out of the doorway when I had an epiphany. I
realized that I could talk to Emma about what happened earlier today. She's
surprisingly good at giving me advice.


	I turned back around so quickly that she looked like she had
whiplash, "Actually, can I talk to you for a second? I need your advice on
something."


	Her face went from surprised to delighted, "Of course you can." She
looked back at the other people in the room, "We should probably talk in
the hall."


	I lead the way out of the door, into the hallway, and around the
corner. Just to ensure that no one was eaves dropping. I also looked around
for extra safety. I've had too many experiences lately of people invading
my privacy.


	She looked at me suspiciously, "Are you okay? You look like you're
a man on a mission."


	"Well... since you've been so helpful recently and...umm... you're
very observant and a great listener--"


	"Are you like proposing or something," She said with a big grin.


	"No. I just need to tell you something. That I haven't really told
anyone." I searched for the words, I guess I was more nervous than I
thought. "I'm only telling you this because for some reason I feel like I
can trust you and..."


	"Oh just spit it out already." She saw my worried face and
continued, "I just can't handle suspense and you're building it up a lot."


	"Okay, fine. But you need to promise me that you won't tell
anyone. I know how you like to be gossipy."


	She looked guilty, "Okay okay, I promise I won't tell a soul. Go
ahead."


	"Alright, I'll make this quick and to the point because this is
only half of what I'm going to tell you. I've currently had some feelings
for a certain person at school who's not Ava. I felt a connection towards
this person since I came back after my accident. And this person is a
guy. And that guy is Cole Blume." I said all of this very quickly while a
blush was growing on my face.


	Her mouth was literally hanging open in disbelief. For a second I
thought she was going to take it badly but then her expression changed to,
what can only be described as, a 'shit eating grin'.


	"I knew something was up. I knew it! Especially when you started
asking me about him the other day on the phone. But I said to myself,
'No. He can't be gay. He's mister-jock-super-straight-loverboy-of-Ava.' Oh
my gosh, this is a moment! I'm so excited!"


	"Okay, calm down, remember you can't tell anyone."


	"I know, I know. Oh, this explains so much as well. Like, I
couldn't get my head around what Cole had to do with the fight between you
and Sam, but I sorta get it now. Sam must have been bullying Cole or
something and you came in and saved the day, right?"


	"Uh, not exactly. More like Sam walked in on Cole and I kissing and
he violently shoved Cole away from me and then he hit him to the ground and
called him... some derogatory words then I beat the living shit out of
him."


	"Whoa." She stared wide eyed. "You're kinda scary dude. But to be
totally honest, the whole 'tough guy who defends his love's honor' is kinda
hot. Cole's lucky. So are you guys like boyfriends now or something?"


	"No, definitely not. I told you how that was just part of what I
needed to tell you. Here's the other part. The part that I need some advice
on. See, I fucked up again."


	"What happened?"


	"It happened this morning. I was so consumed with the rumors that
you and Kevin told me about Cole that I started to really believe that he
was sleeping around."


	"Hey, I said I wasn't entirely sure if they were true. I just heard
it from Whitney." She added quickly.


	I rolled my eyes, "Well, either way, I couldn't get it out of my
mind. So when I came to school I was..." I didn't want to admit that I was
trying to avoid her so I skipped over that minor detail. "I needed some
fresh air, so I went out into the parking lot and I saw Cole getting out of
some guy's car. I didn't know what to think except for the rumors that I
had heard and I was so fed up that I confronted him."


	She winced sympathetically, "Oh, how did that go?"


	"Not good at all, I called Cole a 'little slut' and then accused
him of fucking half the male population of the school. Obviously he didn't
take this well. Then I accused him of sleeping with the guy whose car he
had just come from. But the guy was quick to call me an asshole and inform
me that he was actually Cole's brother and not his fuckbuddy." I still feel
mortified for that mistake.


	"You mean Dave? You didn't know that Cole had a younger brother?"


	"Younger brother? This guy was much bigger than Cole."


	"Yeah, he's only a year younger. But, I mean, he looks a lot like
him. How could you not know. Also, I thought you wanted to have a
relationship with Cole, yet you seem to know nothing about him."


	"Well now I'm screwed because Cole looked so ashamed and
embarrassed, which he should be because I acted like a total jackass. I
know for sure that he never wants to talk to me again but I really like him
and I feel like right now would be a good time for you to give me some
advice on what I should do. You seem to do that regardless." I said the
last part under my breathe.


	She looked dumbfounded by all the things I just said. "Well... I
think..." She looked up at me like she was trying to muster up the courage
to say what she was about to say. "Honestly, I think you fucked up badly
and you shouldn't expect Cole to ever forgive you."


	She looked at me with a determined face while I gave her the most
heart breaking expression. She continued, "However," she paused for a
moment in thought, "I think that you should do everything you can to get
back on his good side. Because even though you don't know much about him,
you seem to care a lot about him. So I think you should do this sooner than
later. Go find him tomorrow and do anything and everything to show him how
much you care about him."


	"Thank you," I said quietly and just stared at her. I felt so
grateful that I finally had someone I could trust to talk to.


	She broke out of our staring and looked back at the classroom,
"Hey, I hope I helped you but I do need to get back to my club."


	I just realized that I needed to get back to detention, "Oh yeah, I
gotta get back as well," I pointed down the hall.


	We walked opposite ways from each other down the hall but I looked
back at her and she waved at me before she entered the classroom.


	I could get used to having a friend.


________________________________________________________




	I considered Emma's advice carefully. I knew she was right, that I
should try to fix this as soon as possible. I just had my reservations
about going to him so soon after my major fuck up. If I was being honest I
knew I was just being scared.


	I looked for him any chance I got: between classes in the hallway,
in the bathrooms, in every nook and cranny I could think of, but he was
nowhere to be found. I started to think that he hadn't even showed up at
school today. I was disheartened when he didn't show up to our Chemistry
class. By lunch time I was resigned to the thought that he was probably
absent because of me.


	I went to the library again for lunch, mainly to avoid the drama of
all my old friends and also to have a quiet place to sit. I really enjoy
quiet spaces nowadays. I went more towards the back of the library to truly
be by myself. Then I just happened to look slightly to my right at another
table near me and I saw the back of Cole. I was so glad in this moment that
he couldn't see me because I know -- without a doubt -- that if he had seen
me first he would've immediately left the scene. Also, since his back was
turned I had time to prepare my face and look like I wasn't having a mental
breakdown.


	I stood and confidently walked up behind him. I tapped his shoulder
and as soon as he turned around and looked at me I lost my breath. He
looked up at me with expectant and worrisome eyes.


	I just gaped for another second and realized I had no clue what to
say to him. Once Cole saw that I wasn't about to say anything first he
stood up and got right into my face with a determined look.


	"How dare you do that to me." He said in a harsh whispered tone (we
are in the library after all). With each word he pushed me back up against
a bookcase. "Out of nowhere you accuse me of those horrible things... and
in front of my brother no less." Looking more furious he pushed me further
into the bookcase even though there was nowhere else to go. "How dare you."


	"You already said that," I tried to lighten the mood but
unfortunately that just made him more mad.


	"You're an asshole, you know that," He said offhandedly.


	"I've been told." I hung my head with guilt. "I'm sorry
Cole... what can I say,"


	"Yeah, what can you say. I think you've said quite enough in our
little interactions so how about I start talking." He said quickly with
rage.


	I was scared but ready to hear it, "Go ahead," I muttered
sheepishly.


	"Look, I don't know why you believed those rumors." He looked up at
me sadly, "But I also understand why those rumors have been surfacing. It's
embarrassing really."


	I got nervous, was he actually admitting that those rumors were
true?


	I think he saw my expression and quickly dismissed my thoughts,
"No, it's not like they're true. But, well I'll tell you the truth." He
looked around hesitantly. "Let's sit down." He said as he walked towards
the table he was previously sitting at.


	He turned his chair so that he was directly facing me, "I know why
other people are starting to wonder about me. I just never thought you
would believe any of the things people were saying." I felt so hurt by his
comment but I could totally understand the feeling of other people making
rumors about you. I've had enough rumors about me to last a lifetime.


	He continued,"I have been in contact with Kyle and Anthony, two of
the people that I know I have been rumored to be 'sleeping
with'. Well...surprise, surprise, I'm not sleeping with either of them. I'm
actually tutoring them, I guess since they were trying to keep it a secret
they made it appear shadier than it was."


	I had a huge feeling of relief wash over me when I heard that. Of
course! Cole wasn't fucking around with them, he was tutoring them. How
could I be so stupid.


	"Yeah, I take Calculus with both of them and first I started
helping Kyle then he said that his friend Anthony needed help as well so I
agreed to tutor both of them. I go over to each of their houses
occasionally to help them with Calculus and that's all. Never once have I
done anything remotely sexual with them. Does that clear up everything?" He
said sharply.


	"Look, Cole, I don't know what came over me. I just started hearing
everyone around me saying these rumors about you and then I saw you with
your brother, which by the way, I didn't know you had a brother. Then I
just snapped and I couldn't control my actions and you know how I get when
I snap, you've seen it first hand," He silenced me with his hand on my arm.


	"As mad as I am at you, I do understand the confusion of emotions
you must've gone through. But you really put my brother in a state of
confusion. He had so many questions for me after that."


	Oh no, did I make him come out to his brother?! "Before you think
the worst, no. He already knew I was gay. But he hadn't heard all those
rumors that you spouted off. Also he didn't know that you and me had ever
interacted so he was very shocked that you were confronting me. Either way,
after all that confusing mess he's been a loyal brother and he got so
protective of me and so pissed at you. He's been talking about you being an
asshole this whole time." He said fondly, even though I was getting a
little tired by his over use of the word 'asshole' to describe me.


	"Well I'm sorry about those rumors."


	"You're sorry. How do you think I feel? Neither of them have
disputed the rumors because they seem too embarrassed to admit that they're
being tutored. Yet they'd rather have people think that I'm giving them
head. What sucks even more, no pun intended... but what's worse is that
their reputations aren't getting tarnished at all while I'm over here being
labeled the school's 'gay desperate slut'." He said in a huff.


	That does suck, Cole is too good of a guy for all the shit that he
has to take. "If you want me to, I can clear up the rumors. I can even
confront Kyle and Anthony and make them set things straight. I can be
pretty convincing at times." I said with a smirk.


	His face just twisted in horror, "No. Are you kidding? I don't want
you to get into anymore fights. You've gotten a month's worth of detention
and already been suspended. You can't get into trouble anymore. You'll be
expelled if you keep it up and I don't know what I'd do if you weren't
here..." He said anxiously.


	I grabbed the sides of his face in order to calm him down, "Hey,
look at me. I'm not going anywhere. I'm never planning on getting into
trouble again. I want to be here for you as much as you want me to be
here."


	He just sat there looking into my eyes with a look of concern. I
kept my hands on his face and just sat there staring into his eyes. We had
a sort of conversation with our eyes. It was...captivating. I'd never felt
so deeply connected to someone, especially just from eye contact.


	I realized that we were still in a library so I let my hands
drop. Then I had an idea. I took Cole's hand and pulled him out of his
seat. He obliged and I lead him to a secluded side of the library where
there were only tall bookcases. I don't know how I remembered where that
area was but I had my suspicions that I'd been there before. I took him
into a little nook where no one could see us.


	He looked bewildered, but I didn't give him a chance to say
anything. Right when he was looking up at me to ask something I took that
opportunity to push him against the bookcase, grab his face and kiss him as
passionately as I could.


	He was taken back with surprise and pressed his hand between our
chests. "What are you doing?" He said breathlessly.


	I looked around at the bookcases and the emptiness of the
library. "Don't worry, no one can see us."


	He looked around hesitantly then looked back at me with a rye
smile. "Oh really, well in that case..." He turned us around so that my
back was against the bookcase and then he quickly wrapped his arm around my
neck, pulled me down slightly towards his face and attacked my mouth like a
pro.


	I was fucking breathless to say the least. He started biting my
bottom lip while pushing our groins together causing a beautiful mix of
feelings. However nice those feelings were, I was starting to feel the
beginnings of a situation that might be too hard to finish in a library. So
I had to push him back slightly before I got too excited. Our foreheads
were still touching, "I think we need to take this a little slow. We are
still in a library... at school." I said tilting my head slightly to peek
around us while keeping my arms firmly around his waist.


	He was still kissing the side of my mouth like he couldn't get
enough. But he seemed to slowly understand what I was saying. He looked
into my eyes and I could see through his bright eyes that his pupils were
dilated. "We should do this more often," He muttered as he was working his
way done to kissing my neck.


	My eyes started to roll back in my head, "Yeah I think that's a
good idea."


	I could definitely get used to this.


__________________________________________________________________


To Be Continued...


If I've said it once, then I've said it a million times: I'm sooooo sorry
for submitting this late. I really did intend to get this out at least a
month ago. To all the people who have been asking if I'm still writing the
story, I most certainly will continue the story. I love all of you guys for
putting up with me!


Tony :)


email: tunistony2@yahoo.com