Date: Sun, 22 Jan 2012 05:20:39 -0800 (PST)
From: Lusty <lustyville@yahoo.com>
Subject: Starving for Love-Chapter 27. Olive Branches

	Tom smiled and hugged me. He surprised me when his left hand
grabbed my ass while he shoved his tongue in my mouth. I wasn't expecting
that kind of greeting. He must have forgotten that we were in a hallway at
school. He broke our kiss and said, "Sorry, I couldn't stop myself."

	"It's okay." His face was far too close to mine and the look in his
eyes told me he was less than a second away from leaning in for another
kiss. I was having déjà vu. I stepped back just as his head moved
forward. "You're so sorry about it that you want to do it again?" I teased.

	He blushed. "You were standing too close."

	"Oh, so it's my fault?"

	"Isn't it always?"

	That question made me feel even better. I think my day could have
ended right then and I would have gone to sleep without having to battle
any demons. I loved it when he joked with me without screening his words
and worrying about hurting my feelings. The smile on his face told me that
he wasn't afraid I might believe everything was my fault. It was like going
back to the way we were before he found out about me hurting
myself. "You're in a good mood," I said. "Are you off of punishment?"

	He laughed. "No, but I might as well be. My aunt called this
morning and said my grandmother was sick. My mother is flying out to see
her."

	I folded my arms and asked, "Shouldn't you be a little sad that
your grandmother is sick?"

	"I am, but my lust for you is masking it." He leaned in and
whispered, "I have plans to take you home tonight."

	I was still stuck on his situation. "Your mother didn't want to
take you with her?"

	"No. She isn't sure how long she'll be gone and she doesn't want me
to miss too many days of school. She expects my father to keep an eye on
me." Tom cleared his throat. "My father already told me he'll be late
getting home tonight. I'm supposed to take the bus home and stay there, but
he forgot to say no company."

	"I'm sure your mother made the `no company' part pretty clear. She
doesn't want you near me right now."

	"Yeah, but I want to be near you," he winked and I felt a nervous
tingle shoot through my body.

	I knew I was blushing. Tom was thinking the same dirty thoughts
that I was thinking. I wanted to rub against him, with no clothes between
us. I couldn't describe what it was like to continually want to be with him
so badly. My love for him infected every part of my being and caused me to
happily do things I shouldn't do, like plan on going to his house when I
knew he was specifically banned from seeing me outside of school.

	I thought about Matt and remembered that we had made plans to meet
up after school. "Matt and I are supposed to be hanging out today."

	"I'm sure he'll understand," Tom said.

	I wasn't so sure. Matt was having a rough time and I saw through
his lies and odd behavior to the hurt kid trying to hide inside him. He was
in a bad place. I knew it wasn't my responsibility to help him, but I felt
like I owed it to him. He had opened my eyes to so many things in my life
and I wanted to return the favor.

	The bell rang and Tom kissed me on my cheek and said he'd see me at
lunch. I daydreamed through a few classes then went to lunch. I sat at our
usual table and waited for Tom to arrive.

	James sat next to me. He patted me on my head and asked, "How are
you doing today?"

	"I'm fine."

	"That's good." He ran his fingers down my face so quickly that it
was almost like it never happened, but it did catch my attention. I looked
at him. "Billy has it in for your friend," he warned. "That kid really got
under Billy's skin yesterday. He doesn't even let you get to him like that
and he hates you." James smirked. "But I kind of like you so I've done
something to make your life easier. You can thank me later," he said. He
stood. "See you around, Sammy."

	I had decided that James wasn't all bad, but Billy couldn't be
redeemed. James had his moments when he did unexpectedly nice things, like
stepping up and ending the fight between Billy and Matt. If he wasn't
friends with Billy, James would probably be an okay guy.

	James was gone less than a minute when Billy stood across from me
and glared at me. "Tell your friend I'm looking for him."

	Tom appeared next to Billy and said, "I heard an interesting story
today." Billy jumped a little. Tom sat his tray on the table, but he
remained standing next to Billy. "Billy, I'm tired of playing this game and
I finally know how to make you go away."

	"You can't blackmail me with that secret."

	"I'm not talking about that," Tom said. "I know something else
now."

	"What do you know?"

	"I know that there is a video of you doing something you shouldn't
be doing, or should I say someone?" Tom raised his eyebrows and said, "You
know exactly what I'm talking about. Who knew you and James were such good
friends?"

	"How would you" Billy turned and scanned the room for
someone. "That son of a bitch!" he shouted. Billy ran towards James and
James ran out of the cafeteria.

	Tom finally sat down. "I think James likes you," he said.

	"Look at me. Can you blame him?" I joked.

	Tom laughed. "No, I can't blame him. It must be obvious to everyone
that I'm a lucky guy. Who wouldn't want to be in my shoes?"

	"My point, exactly."

      "Speaking of points, he made a point of letting me know that he did
this for you and not for me or Matt."

      "What did he do?"

	Tom glanced at my tray and I took the hint and started eating. I
waited for him to tell me what James had done, but he seemed to be content
watching me eat. A few minutes later, I watched Billy and James walk back
in the cafeteria. Tom followed my gaze and commented, "I guess they can't
stay mad at each other."

	"I guess not." I paused and watched the two of them as they
strolled through the lunch line and walked to their usual table. James must
have lied about his involvement. There was no way Billy would forgive
someone for betraying him, not even James. I was dying to know what Billy
and James had done. I casually asked, "So what was Billy caught on tape
doing?"

	Tom smiled, "He gave James a blow job and James recorded part of it
with his phone."

	"Is Billy"

	Tom read my thoughts and answered my question before I had the
chance to spit it out. "No. He's not. It was a one time thing and he was
blitzed when he did it."

	I didn't want to talk about Billy that long so I changed the
subject and told Tom I was worried about Matt but he warned me not to bring
myself down while I was trying to pull Matt up. He said he liked Matt and
all, but if he had to decide between the two of us, my mental well being
was always more important to him than Matt's. Lunch was good because Tom
and I were unguarded around each other. He didn't baby me and I didn't bash
myself.

	Matt was waiting by my locker at the end of the day. "I have some
bad news," he said.

	"What?"

	"I can't hang out with you tonight. Mrs. Washington left me a
message saying that she wanted to have a family game night."

	"And I'm not invited?"

	"She's trying to get the family to bond with me and I think she's
trying to get me to bond with them. I have to applaud her efforts but she
has to know it won't work. You can't force a bunch of strangers together
and expect an instant family. I need more time to warm up to them." He
paused. "And of course you're invited, but I'd like to do this on my own."

	I tried to suppress my grin, but I couldn't. "It's fine."

	"Try not to look so happy about it!"

	"I'm sorry. It's just that Tom invited me over after school and"

	"And you were going to try to ditch me because you'd rather spend
time with your boyfriend than hang out with a loser like me?"

	"You're not a loser."

	"Yeah, whatever." He tapped me on my shoulder and said, "Tell
Charlie I said hello."

	"Okay."

	Matt walked away and James walked over. "Hey Sam."

	"Hey."

	"Don't you want to thank me now?"

	"Uh yeah. Thanks for what you did."

	He hugged me and held me close. "You smell good," he whispered. I
swear he planted a quick kiss on my neck when he pulled away. "Things were
getting out of control so I had to put an end to it. Billy thinks Sarah
stole my phone and sent the video to Tom. He has the biggest crush on her
so he'll forgive her by tomorrow. I just wanted you to know that it was me,
not Sarah. She's just the fall guy."

	"Why?"

	"I just told you he'll be more forgiving if he thinks it's
her. He'd kill me if he knew it was me."

	"No. Why did you do this for me?"

	"Isn't it obvious?" He sighed. "I have another man crush. First
Tom, now you." His eyes went up and down my body. "What I wouldn't give to
see what happens between you two behind closed doors." I felt like I was
naked and I almost reached down to cover myself. "Don't worry, I'm not
gay. I'm just a little curious, but not curious enough to do anything about
it. You two look happy and I respect that."

	"What about you and Billy? Are you guys okay?"

	"Yeah. Once I dug the knife out of his back and explained to him
that it wasn't me, he was fine." James glanced at his watch. "Anyway, I
better go. If you're waiting for Tom, he may be a few minutes. I saw him
talking to BJ by the East Entrance."

	"What's BJ doing here? He's suspended."

	"I don't know. He wasn't here all day, so I guess he came to talk
to Tom for a minute."

	"Oh."

	"Bye Sammy."

	"Bye James."

	I watched James walk down the hallway and I wondered why BJ needed
to talk to Tom and why they were taking so long. I was tempted to go to the
East Entrance and see what was going on but I decided against it. I was in
the middle of getting my books in order when someone pushed me to the
ground. I looked up and it was Billy.

	"What is it about you that makes them want to protect you? Is it
that they realize what a pathetic loser you are and they know you can't
protect yourself?" He kneeled beside me and whispered, "I'm taking a break
for a while because I almost lost my best friend over your skeleton looking
ass, but don't think that means I'm forgetting about you or your retarded
friend." He grabbed my hair and pulled it. "I never forget." He let my hair
go and he walked away.

	I stayed on the ground, afraid to move. I didn't know what he was
talking about with the whole skeleton thing because I had packed on quite a
few pounds. Tom had informed me that none of my bones stuck out anymore. He
thought I was still too skinny, but even he acknowledged my weight gain.

	About five minutes later, Tom came running down the hall. I was
sitting against the lockers. "Sorry I'm late. BJ stopped by to talk to me
for a minute. I was up all night last night trying to persuade him not to
run away and he came today to tell me he's going to stay with his aunt and
uncle in Kansas for a while. His family thinks it's for the best." Tom held
out his hand and helped me up. He smiled, "Are you ready to go?"

	"Yeah." I grabbed the rest of my books and we left. I eagerly
anticipated what we would do when we reached his place. The normal
distractions of riding the bus didn't bother me because I was too busy
fantasizing about Tom. He must have been fantasizing about me too because
he practically ran off the bus and sprinted to his house. Our first stop
was his room. He closed his door and we dropped our bags and latched on to
each other. His lips felt so good but his body felt even better. I would
have ripped his clothes off if I had the strength to do it.

	We fell on top of his bed, kissing. The full weight of his body as
it lied on top of mine, sent feelings of pure happiness surging through
me. My back didn't hurt much and the occasional uncomfortable feelings were
tender reminders of how real the moment was and what we had done before. We
kissed until he stopped and said, "I'll be back." His hand moved down my
body as he stood. "I'd love for you to be naked when I get back." He stood
by his door. "You don't have to be, but I'd really like it if you were." He
closed the door.

	I ripped off my clothes and waited for him to come back. He took
much longer than I expected. He opened the door and walked in completely
naked with his dick pointing directly at me. "I guess I don't have to ask
what you're thinking about" I joked.

	"Maybe you should ask."

	My mouth almost watered as he walked closer. I decided to humor
him. "What are you thinking about?"

	"A little foreplay and then you inside of me."

	"You want me to be inside of you?"

	"Yeah. Plus you hurt your back so I don't think you need to be on
the bottom rubbing your back against the bed."

	"We can try other positions."

	"We can, but not today. I've worked out this fantasy in my head."

	His admission made me grin. "And you want me to have my way with
you?"

	He giggled. "Yeah, something like that." He kissed me. We rolled
around on the bed kissing then Tom changed positions and started giving me
a blow job. His dick was in my face so I returned the favor. I tried to
make it feel good to him. I must have done something right because Tom
started cumming a few minutes later. "Sorry," he said. "But don't worry,
there's more where that came from." He kissed the top part of my thigh then
added, "Why don't you start getting me ready while I work on making sure
you shoot a load before we get to the real action?"

	"What should I do?"

	Tom moved quickly and grabbed some lube and a condom. He threw the
condom next to us on the bed and he handed me the lube. "Don't worry, I
made sure to clean myself extra good for you."

	I was still unsure. "Okay, but what should I do?"

	He laughed. "Just do what I did to you or do whatever you think
will feel good. I trust you."

	He went back to giving me a blow job. I tried not to lose myself in
what he was doing, but it was hard to focus on getting him ready when his
mouth pulling me closer and closer to the edge. I licked his hole a couple
of times. It didn't taste as bad as I thought it would. He moaned when I
pushed my tongue inside him. The vibrations caused by his moan pushed me
over and I came in his mouth. He swallowed then licked around the head a
couple of times. He came up for air and said, "I think it's time to start
with the lube. You don't have to do much because I, uh, worked myself a
little."

	I wished I could see his face because I knew he was blushing. I put
some of the lube on my finger and lined it up. Sure enough, it eased it
with no problems. He licked my dick and my balls while I worked on getting
him ready for me. I took a long time because I was nervous. I was scared
that I wouldn't please him but at the same time, I was so excited that
every time I closed my eyes, I visualized myself on top of him.

	He finally whispered, "I can't take it anymore." He lied on his
back on the bed. I cautiously moved my body on top of his. He lifted his
legs and smiled at me. The cheesy grin on his face made me want him even
more.

	I slowly inched inside him and his eyes changed. His usual look of
love was gone and replaced again by a look that screamed, `I want you so
badly that I think I'd die if I couldn't have you right now.' I had to talk
myself through the experience until my body went on autopilot and forced my
mind to shut down. Being inside him was better than incredible. It was like
finding a piece of one hundred proof happiness and being told it was yours
to keep. He must have enjoyed it as much as I did because he came a few
seconds before I lost complete control of my body. I came so hard inside of
him that all I could do was collapse on top of him and try to catch my
breath. We remained that way for a while. I was completely overwhelmed by
the experience and as I worked my way down from the clouds, I found myself
rapidly descending in to depression because the most amazing moment of my
life had ended. The unadulterated happiness I thought I had found was
slowly slipping through my fingers. Tom kissed my neck and it was like a
lifeline had been thrown in my direction. I shook off the bad thoughts and
tried to work my way out of the sadness. I told myself we would share other
amazing moments.

	"I love you," I whispered.

	"I love you too," he said. Then he laughed. "I didn't know you had
that in you."

	"Neither did I."

	"I love the way you took control." He kissed my neck again. "I
didn't expect that from you but it sure was one hell of a turn on." He
pressed his lips against my ear and asked, "So you've tried both, now which
was better, top or bottom?"

	"They both were really good." I rolled off of him and rested on my
side.

	"I'm glad you said that because I'd definitely like to repeat what
we just did." He smirked and I knew he was about to say something corny. "I
don't think bad sex with you is possible. I love you so much that just
being near you sends my body in to a frenzy."

	"Are you saying that just seeing me excites you?"

	"I'm saying that just knowing you're out there breathing somewhere
excites me."

	"Sounds like love," I teased.

	He leaned in and kissed me. "Well then it sounds about right." He
kissed me again. "Thank you."

	"For what?"

	"For letting me love you."

	My first thought was `Not this again,' but I laughed instead and
said, "Well thank you too then."

	"For what?"

	"For loving me so good that I keep coming back for more." I knew I
was about to get serious on him, but I couldn't stop the words from pouring
out of me. "You loved me when I thought no one ever could and in a way I
never dreamed anyone would. You're the amazing one in this relationship and
I'm lucky to have you."

	"It's about time you realized that," he said.

	I could tell he was joking, "Yeah and it's about time for you to
kiss me again." We kissed for a while and basked in the afterglow. My foot
kicked something on the bed and I said, "Tom"

	"Yeah."

	"Uh, I think I forgot to put on the condom."

	He made a stern face. "That was very irresponsible of you." He
smiled, "But I knew that already. I didn't want to stop you for that."

	We made out a little longer then I told him I had to go home
because I wanted to have dinner with my family. "Tonight is the night that
I wave the white flag and try to call a truce."

	"That may be all they need."

	"What?"

	"A sign of life on the other side. Maybe they feel the same way
that Charlie did and all they need is a glimmer of hope that you love
them."

	"I hope so. I don't think I could take it if they rejected me."

	He kissed me. "You have me and together we can deal with
anything. They won't reject you, but if they did, I would be here to love
you enough for all of them."

	"You can't love me the way they can. It's a different kind of
love."

	"Think positively. They're going to open their arms and welcome you
back in to the fold."

	"That would be nice."

	He caressed my face, "That's what's going to happen. You've come so
far and they have to see that. They wouldn't push you away if you reached
out for them."

	We stared at each other for a few minutes. I wanted to stay with
him forever but I knew there were things I needed to face on my own. "What
time is your father supposed to be back?"

	Tom looked at the clock and said, "He won't be back for a few
hours."

	"I wish I didn't have to go, but I need to catch the bus since
someone lost their driving privileges."

	"Let's take a shower first."

	"Together?"

	"I thought you'd never ask," he teased. He paused then said, "Yes,
together. It's not like you have something I haven't seen or touched," he
smiled and added, "or licked."

	Our innocent shower turned in to sex. I was bent over pushing
against the wall with my arms as Tom pushed in and out of me. I had told
him that I liked it both ways, but I think if I was being honest with
myself and with him then I would admit that I liked the feeling of being
inside him, but I loved the feeling of being dominated by him even
more. There was something wonderful about the way he lost himself in me and
it crossed my mind that Tom might have thought the same thing about me
being inside him. Nothing was better than feeling like I belonged to him.

	After we finally cleaned off and got out of the shower, we decided
that we shouldn't kiss until we were fully dressed because we weren't sure
if we could control ourselves. He walked me to the door and gave me a sweet
kiss on my lips then pushed me away. "Stop trying to seduce me," he warned.

	"I don't have to try too hard. You're easy."

	He replied, "Only for you."

	"See you tomorrow."

	"Okay and good luck with your family."

	"Thanks."

	I mapped out my plan during the bus ride. I couldn't fix my
relationship with my family without outside help. We were too broken to
find all the missing pieces on our own. I was going to ask them to start
family therapy sessions with me and I crossed my fingers that they would
all say yes. I wasn't worried about Charlie. I knew Charlie would come, but
I wasn't so sure about my mother and father and I was even less sure about
Kristy.

	I got home a little before dinner and went to my room. I called Tom
and talked to him for a few minutes. He calmed me down and gave me the
encouragement I needed to extend an olive branch to my family. I thought
they were at fault and they undoubtedly thought I was at fault, but one of
us had to be bigger than what was between us. One of us had to make the
first move.

	Charlie knocked on my door and came in. "Where were you?" he asked.

	"I was with Tom."

	"Didn't Mom tell you to respect Mrs. Yeager's wishes?"

	"Yeah, but how can I stay away from Tom?"

	"That's like asking you to cut off your right arm, isn't it?"

	"Worse. It's like asking me to go back to being blonde."

	Charlie laughed. "Dinner's ready. We should go eat."

	"Okay, but before we go, how are you doing?"

	"Much better. I went to the gym and took out a punching bag then
Janet called and"

	"Charlie if you say the two of you are back on, I'm going to
scream."

	"She only broke up with me because she was afraid of moving in
together, but I told her there's no rush. I'm willing to wait until she's
ready to take that step."

	I did a silent scream and shook my head. "I can't wait until we
talk to Dr. Conley about you and Janet."

	"Tell me what he says."

	"I think you missed the `we' part. By `we,' I mean you and I."

	I could tell I had surprised him. "You want me to go to one of your
sessions with you?"

	"Yeah. I want the whole family to go."

	"Are you sure?"

	"Yes. I think it's time I made an effort to reintegrate myself in
to the family. I think I should do it one at a time. Like maybe a session
with you, then a session with Dad, then a session with Mom, and maybe a
session with Kristy then finally a session as a family," I grinned. "I may
have skimmed over one of your books."

	"Well, I'm glad you did. Let's go to the kitchen and you can tell
them. I can't wait to see Mom's reaction. She's going to flip out." Dinner
went on as usual, with everyone talking around me until Charlie said, "Sam
has something he'd like to say to everyone."

	They all looked at me. My mother asked, "What is it Honey?"

	"I don't feel like a part of the family and that hurts me. I'd like
to change that. I don't know what I did to make you guys keep your
distance. Maybe you don't know how to handle me because I have so many
problems. I can understand how it would be easier to stay away but I don't
want things to be that way. I want to get to know you and if you're
interested, I'd like us all to go see Dr. Con–Dr. Leyland together."

	My mother looked happier than I'd seen her in years. "That's
wonderful, Honey! I'd love to go talk to Dr. Leyland with you." I looked at
her and I saw tears in her eyes.

	I hadn't expected her to react that way. I explained to them how I
wanted to ease in to family therapy by doing a session with each of them
and my mother asked to go first. She said she wanted to know what she had
done to make me hate her so much for so long. I thought about telling her
that I didn't hate her, but I knew she wouldn't understand. That was why I
knew we had to see Dr. Conley and have him help us. He could make her
understand what she had done to me and maybe he could help me understand
what I had done to her. I had never intended to make her think I hated
her. She was my mother and I loved her. Part of my problem was that I
thought I loved her more than she loved me. One day she was a loving,
doting mother and the next day she wasn't and I never knew what had
changed.

	I had spent so much of my life accepting that I was unlovable and
allowing things to remain strained between us. I should have at least
reached out for them and given them the chance to turn me away. I wanted
love more than I wanted anything else in the world. Love was the food that
could feed my heart and nourish my battered spirit. Love was the armor that
I could hide behind when my demons came looking for me. I hadn't beaten
anorexia or cutting. I'd never completely beat them, but with love in my
corner, I could keep them at bay and mine an endless resource of weapons to
fight my inner battles. I needed Tom but I realized that I also needed my
family.

THE END

© Lustyville 2012

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