Date: Thu, 15 May 2003 08:13:19 -0700 (PDT)
From: afterglow <itsme_afterglow@yahoo.com>
Subject: stay chapter 11

Stay
Chapter 11
by afterglow

Disclaimer: This is not wonderland. This is serious stuff. So if you feel
that the tootsie fairy just whacked your butt in here, please read
something else. This contains love/sexual desires between teenagers.  Any
similarities to certain persons are purely coincidental. And unless this
kind of material offends you're crude mind, I suggest you sit back, relax
and enjoy wonderland.

***

Back again! I've received a lot of emails lately telling me not to end
Stay.  Well, I'm sorry. Every story has its ending. This one just happens
to be one of those. When I created Stay, I just thought about some good
plots, characters and a nice title. I never knew it would end up like
this. Thanks for all your support! To Kano and Esteban, guys you make my
day too. And to the expert chef, Michele, mom I still suck at cooking and
now I'm stuck with my mashed spaghetti and a horrible sauce for dinner. But
do not worry mom, for I have found your new installment of The Magic In
Your Touch quite appetizing.

***

	Breathe in. Breathe out. God I hate this!

	The moment Jed told me he was gay; I almost ended up like Pat
here. All the time I was talking to myself. He's gay? He's really gay? He's
gay! Is he? Urgh!

	Okay, before I go fucking nuts, let's do this in a more systematic
way.  He's gay. That's a given. And I'm gay. So the equivalent quotient
would be x + the unknown y equals... arrrr!

	Why does he have to be gay? Why can't he be straight like the rest
of them? Now I can't help but think that to the least possibility, he could
be attracted to me. To me?

	Okay, let's do a reality check here. I'm not attractive. I'm not
'cool'.  I'm not popular, fun or sensitive. Hell, I personify everything
Jed's not! There is no way he likes me. No fucking way.

	We didn't say anything to each other after what happened to Pat. We
just dragged her drunken body to Jed's car. She was in the back while I was
with Jed in front. And all the time I could only hear Pat's fuzzy snores.

	The silence was deafening. And even though I like silence most of
the time, this doesn't count as one. The more it grew quieter, the more I
hear my heart beat, the awkward shaking of Jed's hands on the wheel, the
hot air that comes out from his red lips, the occasional mumblings of Pat
in her sleep, it's like all my senses went into full max.

	Then as if my daydream didn't end, the car stopped. All I knew was
that he was carrying Pat's weight on his shoulders while we both ascended
on a flight of stairs into a large green door that was at the far end. It
was when I noticed him fumbling with the keys that I bolted out of my
senses.

	"Where... where are we?" There was fear in my voice.

	"It's my apartment. You and Pat can crash around here," he opened
the door

	"But... I... I have to go..." I began to stammer as he faced me.

	"It's no big deal. Trent's friends stay here allot. You don't have
to go; besides it's late. Please Edo, stay." Jed's puppy dog eyes was more
than enough to let me slip out an 'okay'.

	He then to turn around and walked inside, "I'll just take Pat over
here to the guest room."

	"Okay, um where's your phone I have to call grams."

	"It's in the living room beside the TV," he called disappearing in
the dark.

	I haven't really noticed it until now; Jed's apartment is huge!
With the walls and tiles and the nifty equipments, I mean wow. I guess
Trent's right, they really are well off. I found the wireless phone and
dialed grams right away.

	As usual it was a long talk. Grams is always like this. I said that
I'll be fine and Jed's all right about it but grams can't help but get
worried. So I just said that I'd call first thing tomorrow. She was
hesitant at first but then realized that it's too late to walk around the
streets.

	Then I called Pat's mom. She's friendly and calm about it. But I
guess telling her about the drinking problem was a bit too much as she
began to rant about how she doesn't tolerate drunkards in her house, just
like Pat's father.  Well, I didn't tell you that Pat came from a broken
family, but she hides it pretty well. Maybe that's why she buys so much
clothes and material things just to put a temporary band aid on what's
she's missing.

	After that I called out to Jed, "Hey, I've talked to grams and
Pat's mom, they both say we could stay."

	There was no answer.

	I repeated again but I got no reply.

	This time I slowly crept to where I last saw Jed. Walking in the
dark, I saw Pat laid down on the bed. But there was no sign of Jed
anywhere. That's odd.

	Then I heard a little sob. Feeling a bit scared and troubled, I
trailed the sounds that came out of the door on the far right. It was
slightly opened.

	As I grew nearer I could almost make out Jed's whimpers. And when I
peeked at the small crack at his door, I saw him in bed with his knees up.

	I hastily made my way to him while rocking him back and forth
trying to calm him down. Then I saw the can of beer that he was holding.

	"You shouldn't see me like this," he whined.

	"See what?"

	"Making an ass of myself. God, you must think I'm the gayest person
in the whole world. I'm such a queer." His voice carried so much weight.

	"Your not Jed, your not.... I think you're...." I said but pulled
away from me.

	"Well, I'm gay damn it! I'm gay! And now you hate me! Like
everybody else.  But I can't help it Edo, it's pulling me to shreds! Don't
you ever think that not a single day I want to be normal? To able to see
and feel those perfectly romantic teen-angst that's in every damn love
story that I see, to raise a hand in the air and say, 'hey I'm not a fag
anymore, maybe I'll go straight my whole life'. Don't you see Edo, it's not
easy and you telling me I'm not is the worst accusation you could ever come
up of."

	I smiled nervously, "I... I... didn't mean to say that your not
gay, what I mean is you're not an ass and I don't hate you."

	"Ha! You're just saying that because you're straight! You know
what, it dawns to me that even the slightest word that I say, you don't
even fucking care!  You don't even know what it means to be gay do you? You
don't know how it is to be thrown, whipped, punched, kicked and humiliated
in front of the whole fucking school.  You don't know how it is to be hurt
by someone you thought you could trust your life and your soul. You don't
know a single thing about being betrayed by the one you love the most, and
to think that watching romantic movies could take all the pain
away. Because you know what? You don't know. I'm talking to a straight boy.
But don't worry. Your species just killed me."

	As he was saying those hurtful words, tears ran down my cheeks. How
could he say this?

	"Jed, I... I'm sorry with your past and I guess me being here
doesn't really help. But you have to understand; I'm not those kind of
people. I will never do anything to hurt you. And I don't care who you
are. You're my best friend and I love you," I paused, "I don't fucking care
what the world thinks I think you're the most beautiful person I've ever
met. And even if you throw, whip, punch or kick me like those people who
hurt you the most, I will still be here. And if that counts as being
straight or gay, so be it. Just so you would know that there is a world for
you waiting in my heart."

	I then slipped down a hand in front of him. I knew he was badly
crying now. His green pools just shaking in the dim light. And with a soft
touch, he reached for mine and we embraced.

	"I'm so sorry Edo... it just seems so hard. It's like the world
gets smaller and smaller and everyday, I grew more afraid. Afraid that if I
say the wrong things you would walk out of my life. My life has been an
upside hill as it is and seeing you everyday turned my whole world into a
magical spark of fantasy. I guess... I guess what I'm trying to say is
that... I...  love... y..."

	Jed was about to say something but I hushed him. I knew he was
tired and it was the alcohol that was talking.

	"Shh... everything's going to be fine..." Then I found myself with
Jed lying in his bed cuddled up to each other. Every time he would say
'don't leave me' and would hold on to me harder, I would let him know
that's it's alright as I stroked gently those fine red lines of hair.

	After that he fell asleep.

	Then without thinking, I stood up. With the slightest touch, I
gently unbuttoned his shirt. Breathing in his very scent as I expose his
muscular chest with a well defined abs. I watched closely and reached for
his arms, taking hold of them one by one. Then I turned to his shoes and
felt it falling off the floor. It was getting hot in the room. I quickly
took a breath as I reached for his pants and slowly slide it down. With my
left hand I lifted his legs while observing the slight glimpse of Jed's
crotch in his boxers.  And from there, I threw his shirt and pants away,
and eyed him from head to toe.

	God he was beautiful. He was perfect. For a while there I thought I
couldn't breathe and my head was spinning.

	And that was it.

	That was the moment.

	That was when I said to myself.

	When I realized.

	I have fallen madly in love.

	With Jed.

	I smiled to myself. I love Jed! I love Jed! I love Jed! I want to
burst out that window and tell everybody in the world that this young man
in bed is the one I saw love.

	This time my heart was beating so fast. And Jed's pain of the past
crept in me. I just want to hold him right now and take him away from here,
from everybody else. I want to say to him that I love him and I would never
let anyone hurt him, never.

	As I realized it now. My emotions became transfixed. It was like I
was on overdrive and I can't keep my head on the wheels. I want to scream
and yell and feel stupid again. I want to tell somebody about Jed. About
how I feel.

	Then after that I slowly crept back again to the living room.

	I paced around a couple of more times. I knew it was coming. And I
knew I had to do it.

	Summoning up all my courage, I grabbed the phone and dialed.

	"Hello?" I recognize the voice from the other line, "Hellooo?" he
repeated again.

	But this time I answered, "It's me."

***

	Walking down the restaurant was easy, finding the courage too was
tough.

	As I sit here, with a death grip on my chair, trying very hard not
to run at the first chance I get, I begin to wonder.

	Jed.

	As always, he fills my mind. But now, I didn't hesitate. I
didn't. Because I couldn't. God I love the boy.

	There I go again, using the word 'love'. If this is not love, if
sitting here thinking about the only person that your going to spend your
fucking whole life with isn't love, then I don't know what love is. Because
as far as I do believe, I'll be naive and think everything's going to be
alright.

	I was drinking my last drop of wine when a deep raspy voice
suddenly called me, "Hi".

	It was that tall man in a large gray coat.

	The first sight of him, I said to myself I'm going to be brave. I
won't show emotion. I won't say hi or hello or any of that bull. I would
just stare at him and he'll feel dejected and turn away. Then I would storm
right past him, knocking him all over the floor while all the people laugh
at his direction.

	But I didn't.

	I was stupid.

	Tears rolled down my eyes. And I cried.

	The man came over to me and brushed off the tears, "Everything's
going to be alright son."

	The word 'son' echoed through my ears. I couldn't hold it in
anymore and the dam just broke out. I was profusely pouring everything.

	I wanted to say that I'm sorry. That I don't blame him that he's
gay.  That I'm gay. That mom wasn't right in keeping him from me. That for
the past years that he was gone, and left a single heart in this town, I
still founded a way in me to say to him that I love him.

	But nothing came.

	Just tears rolling.

	We were both weeping now. Not saying a word. He cried, and I cried.
Like father, like son.

	"I'm so sorry dad..." I trailed off.

	"No, no. It was my fault, don't say sorry," brushing off my tears,
"I miss you so much," and then hugging me tighter.

	"I miss you too dad."

	And the next thing I knew, I told him everything. About Jed. About
Pat, Jarrod, Trent, Trish. But most of all about me. Everything about
me. What I like, what I do, my fears and worries. Just like catching up on
old times.  And for the first time in my life, I could say that I like my
dad.

	"You've grown so much," he said smiling.

	I stared at him. Breathing every moment. It's like I'm facing a
mirror or something. His eyes, nose and lips. Like a photograph of me, just
older. I guess he must have sense this because he had curiosity written all
over his face.

	"I love you dad. And I'm sorry for treating you like shit. I guess
my emotions got better of me. I want you to know that I don't hate you. I
have this friend who was hated by people just because he's gay. And he was
tortured physically and emotionally. I'm not those people. And I realize
that I don't want to be.  That's why I came here. To tell you that as much
as I'm afraid of what's in store for us in the future, I would never ever
be at the opposite side from you."

	He smiled, "I never knew you could be this wise Edo. I guess you
got that from your mom. And yes, I was afraid. That you would hate me, be
angry with me or throw bricks at me. But you know the most thing I was
afraid of, is losing you again," he cried, "But I was determined to win you
back no matter what.  Not only because you're my son but also because
you're my soul. And Edo, thank you. For this. And for coming back to my
life."

	It was a happy moment. The happiest moment in my life. Sitting
there with my dad made me just want to sit back and enjoy life. Then the
waiter came in and asked us our orders. Dad just said something in French
and I looked at him quizzically.

	"I got it your to staying away from coffee now." he laughed at that
one.

	We finished our meals just in time. I guess the restaurant's
manager was one of dad's friends since he didn't bother us even though it
was so late.

	We dragged ourselves on the streets where his car was parked. But
just as he opened the door for me, his face suddenly lit up.

	"Hey, son want to get some ice cream?"

	Okay, it's official; he's the best dad in the whole world.

***

	I went to Jed's apartment after that. I practically had to sneak in
just so I won't wake Trent or Pat in the other room.

	But most of all I don't want to wake up my beautiful angel right
here. Jed.

	I found him on his side, legs flopped around the bed. Wow, did I
ever tell you, he's so cute in the dark? I could see how smooth his legs
and body is. And his hair just dangled above his forehead. Did I mention
he's so cute?

	Okay, okay. I know what you're thinking. 'Don't sleep in somebody
else's bed' yada yada. Well, look. If I don't sleep with him tonight and I
sleep on the couch, he'll think that I'm avoiding him just because he's
gay.  And I promised him I wouldn't leave him remember? And besides, would
anyone in my position refuse this handsomely half naked hunk in front of
me? Um, no, you're not counted okay? Anyone else?

	So I gently crept though the covers opposite of Jed. And as I did
this, he turned around facing me, still asleep. I smiled as I saw Jed's
face. It was like an early Christmas present.

	Remembering every detail, every curve, I closed my eyes and went
off to dreamland. Where your deepest darkest fantasies come true.

***

	Normally my sleeping habits are pretty normal. But considering that
I came to Jed's apartment early morning and being woken up by a large thump
on the floor wasn't really dreamland at all.

	Urgh!

	I began to stir as I felt the empty bed space beside me. I slightly
opened up my eyes and saw Jed on the floor with milk stains, eggs and
bacon, or what's left of it, all over the carpet.

	I adjusted my view so that I can see his dismantled face, "Whatcha
doin' there cowboy?"

	Jed blushed, "I... I..." Oh, I so love this boy.

	"Oh, is that for me?" I grinned.

	It looks like he was struggling for words, "Ya.. ah... Yes!"

	For me, it was a game yet to play.

	"Can I taste it?" Yeah, I'll taste it all right.

	"Ahh... mmm... it's.. ah.." Jed you are so cute.

	"Okay."

	And then the unexpected happened. With my right hand on his
shoulder, I gently leaned forward just inches from him. Slowly moving
forward, without even thinking.

	Then with one quick swipe, I licked Jed's forehead, taking with me
the slab of egg that was on his face.

	"Mmmm, I like eggs," I said as I licked my lips wet.

	Jed almost collapsed on the floor.

***

	"He made you breakfast!?" Trents scream echoed in the kitchen.

	"Shhh, not so loud, he might hear us!" Knowing that Jed was on his
room, cleaning up the mess he made, I talked to Trent on what happened last
night. About meeting up with my dad and finally reconciling with him. As
usual, Trent was a good listener but now there's something different about
him. Something odd. Something not Trent.

	"He made you breakfast?!" This time he murmured.

	"Kinda. Well, until the milk started swaying, making all of what's
left in the tray fall off the carpet. That's why he's cleaning it now."

	"Still he made you breakfast! And he doesn't even cook!"

	Trent had that huge grin plastered on his face.

	"Hey, I know that smile."

	"What?"

	"That 'I've got something erotically genius stuck my mind and it
involves you' smile."

	"Hey Edo," he said dramatically, "I'm just a boy," then kneeling in
front of me, "standing in front of a horn dog," pause, "asking him to mate
with his brother."

	"Anyone told that you're crazy?"

	"Yeah." Trent breathed like he was on lalala land. And continued,
"Trish told me."

	Oh, someone's gonna be so jealous.

	"So how did it go last night?"

	Trent breathed again and went all dreamy on me, "She was... she
was..."

	"Fascinating, amazing, great, beautiful?" I tried to peep in.

	"No... she was.... cute." Cute? Hehehe. I thought Jed was cute. I
guess gays and straights do have a lot in common.

	Just then Jed returned to us. He was draped in a towel, while drops
of water were still dripping from his hair. God he looked like a model for
a shaving cream or something.

	"Who's cute?" Jed said.

	I was gonna say 'You are, stud' but Trent butted in, "Trish."

	Jed just said good luck to his brother and went off to his room. I
kept an eye on his every move as the driblets of water ran down from his
legs. I was in pure heaven.

	"Careful there tiger. If you stare at him too much, he's gonna
blow."

	I just glared at Trent.

	Then something bugged me, "Have you seen Pat?"

	"No, I thought you're the only one who stayed the night."

	"Well, I'll just check on her if she's okay." I said as I left him
in the kitchen.

	I sprinted through the living room, passing Trent's. I was just
about to see how Pat was doing when Jed came out of the guest room. He wore
that worried expression on his face.

	"Jed, what's wrong?" I asked.

	"It's... it's Pat. She's gone."

***

	Shit.


	Jed's expression haunts me until now. I remembered the words he
said when he came out of the guestroom that morning. He first asked me if I
knew where she would go then thinking that maybe Pat knows about what
happened in the parking lot. About the fact that Jed's gay.

	I gasped. I was about to tell Jed that we both find Pat together
but I recalled something at the back of my head. Shit! I have to fetch
Jarrod at the airport. He said that he would arrive this Saturday and when
I looked at my watch, I've got half an hour to get there. Feeling uneasy, I
told Jed about the whole situation and he insisted I go to the airport
first. He'll handle Pat, he persisted. Then I told Jed that I'd call him
every now and then. Jed agreed and that's why I ended up in here.

	When everything seems right, everything suddenly goes wrong. I
don't know what Pat's thinking or where she might be but something in my
gut tells me I should go to her.

	I glanced at the arrival area once more and thought to my self,
"What's taking him so long. Urgh!"

	"Sir is everything alright?" a lady in black asked me.

	I shot back at her and then realized that I was terribly moving
back and forth along the seats for the past hours. I was shaking to death.

	"Yeah, everything's alright," I smiled at her and she left.

	I paced around once more and when I heard Jarrod's plane arrive, I
let out a sigh of relief. Gathering up myself, I scanned for Jarrod amidst
the crowd that formed in front of me.

	And there he was. Jarrod always shines above everybody else. He's
much taller now. And I almost didn't recognize it, Jarrod bleached his hair
and made it into this tiny spikes. Wow, talk about total
transformation. I'm surprised he didn't get his nose pierced.

	I guess he spotted me at the far end because he waved and walked in
my direction. I smiled warmly to him.

	Opening my mouth first, "Hey, you got your hair bleached!"

	"Yeah, Kate said it matches my eyes."

	"Kate?"

	"Yeah," and he turned around, "Kate baby, I want you to meet Edo."

	Then I saw it. I mean I saw her. Well I can't genuinely decide
since my temperature got to 100C when I heard Jarrod say 'baby'. It, I mean
she was an Asian girl, with you guessed it right, a pierced nose.

	"Hi, I'm Kate," offering her hand, "I've heard so much about you
Edo."

	I grunted.

	"Thanks but right now, I'd rather prefer a hello," I said as I
looked at her hand in mid air. She quickly withdrew it away, "I mean with
all the Sars and everything."

***

Okay. okay. I'm so sorry guys. I know this ending sucked and I have nothing
against Asians or the Sars virus. I'm really sorry about that. Anyway in the
last chapter, I said that there would be two chapters left in Stay but then
I have to say sorry again. The author's mind has been flooded by ideas causing
a few more chapters and story lines to be enlisted in my story. And from now
on everything will get rough along Edo's path but hopefully as problems are
yet to be weaved, Edo will survive the adversities and there would finally
be a happy ending for both he and Jed. Again, thanks for all your support!
And a special thanks to the one person who inserted tidbits of ideas and
prevented my story to come to a disaster, Belinda. Thank you girl. As always,
stay cool you guys.

*afterglow