Date: Wed, 17 Apr 2013 12:18:59 -0700 (PDT)
From: Michael Smith <faretheeforeverwell@yahoo.com>
Subject: Stories from Haven - Nolan 4

DISCLAIMER

The following story is completely fictitious and any resemblances to
persons living or dead are entirely coincidental. Just as in life, this
story contains graphic scenes of love and hate, life and death, joy and
sorrow, as well as material that may be offensive to some audiences. If
such material makes you feel uncomfortable, then please read no further
than this warning.

Send questions and comments to thatguywhowritesniftysmut@gmail.com

NOLAN - CHAPTER FOUR

It was pain; in his chest, in his head, in his throat, in his lungs. Pain
was the first thing Nolan felt as his conscious mind was brought back to
the realm of the living.
     He was cold. Then he was retching. He felt his body being turned to
the side as his stomach forcefully removed its contents from his system as
he tried to cough at the same time. The entire process had the effect of
taking his breath away again, but as he finished, he could hear himself
gasp for breath as a series of new coughs began. With the taste of acid in
his mouth and the pain expanding to his entire body in the form of a dull
throb, he had but one thought on his mind.
     "Dylan..." Nolan weakly said as he felt himself immediately embraced
by a familiar warmth. Opening his eyes a bit, he could see Dylan kneeling
above him. The hug hurt, but then again so did his entire body, so he
didn't care.
     "Hey buddy..." Dylan began, but before he could continue the pain and
exhaustion overwhelmed Nolan and he slipped once more back into the grasp
of darkness. While labored from the fluid still in his lungs, he was
breathing. He was alive.

The next couple of days were hard for the Richardson family. After
everything was said and done, Nolan had to spend the night in the hospital
for observation, since complications could sometimes arise in drowning
victims. After all the accounts had been taken, including Dylan's and the
twins, it was clear Troy's negligence had been the primary cause of Nolan's
near drowning. While Sam blamed himself for the entire event, Max vouched
for his brother, being a clear witness to Nolan's sneeze which caused the
prank to go horribly wrong.
     Still, both twins were grounded until further notice, and neither one
tried to fight the decision by the Richardsons. After coming home from the
hospital, Nolan was once more quiet and withdrawn, even from Dylan. Dylan
felt like shit. He had yelled at Nolan, even though he had been technically
dead at the time. The feeling was still, however, nagging on his
conscience.
     "Nolan?" Dylan asked tentatively into the darkness of their
room. Nolan hadn't said a word to him since he had woken up at the pool the
first time.
     Not surprisingly Dylan was answered with silence, but there was a
slight shifting of the covers on Nolan's bed.
     "I... I just wanted to say, I'm sorry, Nolan. I'm sorry that I yelled
at you and that I called you a `little fuck' while you were... you know..."
he let his thoughts trail.
     He heard some more movement from under Nolan's covers, and then
silence.
     He was about to continue with his apology when he felt a warm hand
softly touch his back and slide down to the covers. Moving the covers out
of the way, Nolan slipped under them to join Dylan who had his back turned
to Nolan's bed. As the younger boy eased into the bed and pulled the covers
over them both, Dylan could feel his arms move over and under his sides and
wrap around Dylan's front, holding the older boy close. He could feel
Nolan's warmth radiate through every inch of bare skin that joined the two
boys.
     "Nolan?" Dylan asked.
     "I'm... sorry..." Nolan said quietly, still obviously not having
gotten his full voice back.
     "Sorry? What do you have to be sorry to me for?" Dylan asked in
disbelief.
     "...not... being strong... enough..." Nolan began as Dylan could hear
the tears forming in his words, "...not... being..."
     Nolan couldn't say more, he just began to quietly sob into Dylan's
bare back. Dylan moved himself until he was facing Nolan, and he could see
the pain in the younger boy's eyes. For the first time, Nolan was showing
Dylan just how scared he had really been. Dylan felt tears begin to well up
in his eyes as the younger boy continued to shake in his embrace.
     "Nolan, if you can't swim... I'll teach you." Dylan promised as he
stroked the younger boy's cheek gently. "I will teach you so you never have
to feel helpless again."
     Dylan's words hit home as Nolan began openly crying into Dylan's
chest, using his body to muffle the noise of his tears. At that moment,
Dylan made a connection as to what Nolan's greatest fear was. It wasn't
dying or getting hurt that had scared him, it had been being helpless. He
had felt helpless and trapped, and for Nolan, for the nomad in him, that
was probably the worst feeling he could ever have.
     "Dyl...an...?" Nolan's words were carried through his sniffles and
fading tears, somewhat muffled by Dylan's chest.
     "Yeah, buddy?" Dylan answered, stroking the younger boy's back
lovingly.
     Dylan looked down as Nolan looked up into his eyes. As Nolan closed
his eyes, his crying lessened and his lips moved towards Dylan. Dylan knew
what Nolan wanted, what he needed, and Dylan didn't have the heart to deny
him.
     Dylan allowed the eleven-year-old to initiate the kiss, which slowly
caused Nolan to seek a more comfortable position on top of Dylan. Dylan
brought his hands down Nolan's back, rubbing his back soothingly with one
hand as they continued to kiss.
     "Nolan?" Dylan asked after a few more moments, finding the strength to
part lips. "I love you."
     Nolan smiled quietly into the darkness.

"Those boys sure do use a lot of lube." The old woman said as she riffled
around in the condom basket, seeing what other supplies the center might
need for the coming week. She added lube and dental dams to her mental
check list.
     Allan Shepherd lowered his book to give Grace Wild a contemptuous
stare. The head of the youth center was an odd duck for sure. She was sixty
years old or more, about four feet tall, and couldn't weigh more than
eighty pounds soaking wet. Her mostly light black hair with a few rare
streaks of grey and weathered features were offset by her bright pink
overalls and flower printed long sleeve shirt which looked like she might
have gotten the whole outfit at baby gap.
     Allan loved her with all his heart.
     "I think we have more lube in the back, I'll be sure to throw some in
for tonight's drop-in, okay Grace?" Allan said, turning his attention back
to his book.
     He only had an hour break time between getting off work at the school
and getting stuff ready for opening the doors of Haven at 6:30... that is
if kids didn't show up early as they were sometimes known...
     "Allan!" a cheerful call came from the front door.
     Allan lowered his book and while he made a great effort to stare
blankly and emotionless, he couldn't suppress the smile that gently swept
across his face. He was very bad at pretending not to be happy to see his
kids. As he expected, Aiden and crew were right on time.
     The athletic youth made his way across the short distance with a few
bounding steps, garnering a "no running" from Grace with little to no
results. Allan's arms were already open to embrace the regular visitor to
Haven. Aiden was one of Allan's special kids, one he truly loved with all
his heart. He was a FTM transgender, and while his real name was Riley, he
liked to be called Aiden. He was a little shorter than Allan, at about 5'5"
and probably weighed a buck ten, but he was strong and had no problem
standing up to people bigger than himself.
     "Whatcha get me?" he asked with an innocent toothy grin towards the
older facilitator.
     "Totally Joe." Allan replied, holding up the book he had been
momentarily reading. Since Aiden had just turned fifteen, Allan had
promised to get him a present. The child could barely put down a book once
he started reading and Totally Joe had been a good read for Allan. He just
wanted to pass it along to him and he knew he would enjoy it.
     "Sweet. Hugs!" he exclaimed as he gave Allan another big hug before
swiping the book and running towards the couches to get comfortable.
     "Great... another book she is going to tell me all about before I get
a chance to read it..." came the chiding voice of Aiden's older sister,
Mia.
     While only a year separated the two siblings, they looked to be just
about the same age, even though that is where the similarities
stopped. While Aiden had naturally blonde hair he kept short and deep amber
eyes, Mia had long flowing dark black hair and crystal blue eyes. Different
dads will do that, Allan supposed to himself, as he smiled to accept
another hug.
     "Well, maybe he will leave out the good parts this time." Allan
comforted as he noticed Mia had her sketchbook with her today. "Working on
anything interesting?" he asked.
     "Eh, mostly just practicing I guess. I've been working on one of
Austin for a while, but I just can't really settle on a few things." She
replied.
     With an empathetic nod, Allan comforted her with a brief shoulder rub
before allowing her to move along towards the main area of the
center. While not as large as some youth centers, it had some modest
space. Anyone entering the main entryway was greeted by the small offices
of the more financially minded staff members who saw to it that the youth
center received adequate funding for its various projects, and to provide a
small stipend for its facilitators. The entry gave way to the living room
style open space in the middle of the center, a few couches surrounding a
large projector screen where movies could be viewed on special nights, and
where most of the serious conversations took place.
     Just past were a few tables set up for games or just hanging out,
where a modest food offering would be placed to help some of the kids who
didn't get a regular meal in. Occasionally, Allan would take a youth who
looked undernourished and pop over to the sub shop across the street, since
the fare served at Haven was hardly enough for a growing child. Along the
same area as the tables, tucked away into a cubby in the wall, four
computers served as the center's media center and connection to the outside
world. While certain rules were observed, the kids were free to check out
predetermined sites, usually to check their mail or see the latest music
videos by their favorite artists.
     Just beyond the archway next to the computers was the newly remodeled
kitchen. After receiving a grant from the city, Haven had used the funds to
install new cabinets, a dishwasher, a new sink, some extra storage shelves,
as well as a new oven and refrigerator. A lone pop machine provided the
only access to caffeine in the entire building at sixty cents a can. At the
previous drop-in a misguided effort on behalf of one of the teens to brew a
pot of coffee had ended poorly. The result was Grace banning coffee making
until the appliance could be replaced, and the kids could show they could
be more responsible.
     Beyond the kitchen rested the bathroom, with relatively new fixtures
and a brand-new lock on the door, to avoid anyone accidently walking
in. Past the bathroom was the back area with a room set up for videogames,
mostly rock band, as well as a supply room which was off limits to the
youth. At the very end of the long hallway that connected both back rooms
was access to the garage for the two apartments above Haven. One of the
apartments served as extra offices for the center as well as its associated
agencies, while the second apartment served as Allan's home.
     Part of his "conscription" into Grace's army of volunteers was that he
help run the youth drop-ins, and in return she would provide him with a
place to live. All in all, a fare deal he had thought, until he realized
just how much work went into running this place, especially when you become
as emotionally involved as he does.
     "Sign in." Allan called out, having just printed out a new sign in
sheet for the kids. A staple of any youth center that expects to get any
grants, the form was a series of letters and numbers, each series
corresponding to a youth they had on file. They used the code system to
track numbers and distributions for grant purposes, while maintaining
confidentiality for the kids. Just by looking at someone's code, they would
not be able to tell who was who. This way someone couldn't say, `oh I see
Joseph Smoe goes to Haven, he must be gay.'
     As per usual, Aiden took the initiative and grabbed the sign in sheet
and began marking off people who were already here. He had a knack for
remembering whose code was whose. Allan had honestly just thought he
crossed off random lines, one for each person, until he realized he was
getting each and every one of them right. Good kid.
     "Umm... Mr. Shepherd?" a familiar voice caught Allan off guard, as he
turned around to greet a new face to Haven.
     "Ah, Dylan. I thought I might see you down here sometime soon. Find it
okay?" Allan asked warmly. While not the best student he had, Allan knew
Dylan was one of the most dedicated. If he had anything to say about the
kid, it was that he applied himself.
     "Yeah, found it alright..." Dylan trailed off as he took in the new
sights of the center, as well as seemed to scope out who was here. Not
recognizing anyone from his school, he seemed to relax a little bit.
     "Well, that's good. First, though, before you go off exploring and the
whatnot, I need you to fill something out. It will just take a moment and
it will sort of let you know a bit more about this place, and also what we
do here." Allan continued as he offered Dylan a seat at the desk while he
got a couple papers and a pen out.
     Pushing the two pieces of paper towards the somewhat disorientated
teen, Dylan could see that one page was a list of rules and regulations
with a place for him to sign at the bottom, while the other sheet was more
like an application with places for his name, birth date, school, and
gender. He paused for a moment. There were three genders listed; male,
female, and transgendered.
     "Umm, Mr. Shepherd?" Dylan began to ask before he was interrupted.
     "Down here you can call me Allan, since most of the kids do anyway. If
you start calling me Mr. Shepherd we both are going to get poked fun at."
     "Okay... Allan?" Dylan asked.
     "Yes, Dylan?"
     "Transgendered?" he simply asked pointing to the sheet in front of
him.
     "Maybe I should start from the beginning?" Allan replied, taking a
deep breath to begin his long rehearsed monologue. "This is Haven, a place
for gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transsexuals, and their straight allies to
find support and fellowship. Tonight is the 13-19 year old youth drop-in,
which meets every Sunday, Tuesday, and Friday from 6:30pm to 9:30pm. Before
you is a listing of our rules, which I will explain as follows: no
fighting, no drugs, no alcohol, no putdown language, no name calling, no
fighting with/over drugs and/or alcohol while name calling with putdown
language, and no sex in or around the building. If you feel the need to
break any of these rules, please, take it in front of the sub shop across
the street."
     Dylan just stared completely lost at his English teacher, wondering if
this was indeed the same man who was so serious and professional at school.
     "Any questions?" Allan asked, ignoring the youths stare.
     "A..."
     "Well, good than. All you have to do is fill out this page, and then
sign down here to note that the rules have been explained to you and you
promise to abide by them. After you do that, we will generate a code that
will go on our normal sign in sheet. That way, when you come back all you
have to do is cross off your code and you won't have to listen to this
rambling rant ever again. Unless you are into that."
     Slowly picking up the pen and not making any sudden movement, Dylan
filled out the information and signed the bottom of the paper. All he could
think of was what had he gotten himself into.

Like most first timers, Dylan was a little lost to begin with. As more and
more kids began showing up, they began to separate into groups. Everybody
seemed to know each other, and Dylan didn't see a single person that he
knew from his school, which was kind of a relief. Going to a private
school, let alone a private Catholic school, Dylan doubted anyone would
expect to see him here.
     There was a girl sitting on one of the couches with a sketchbook, who
seemed to be glancing across to the couch on the other side from time to
time, slowly working on something. As Dylan made his way around the couch
to get a better look at what she was working on, he finally saw the object
of her focus was a pair of boys about his age. He hadn't seen them come in,
but one looked familiar, like he had seen him around before. The pair
looked, for lack of a better word, angelic together; the dark haired boy
lying on his back, while the slightly smaller brown haired boy rested on
top of him. The smaller boy seemed to be sleeping with a content smile on
his lips, while the dark haired boy gently stroked his hair while looking
down at him with an equally content smile.
     Looking down at the sketchbook, Dylan could see that the girl had
captured the moment quite beautifully. It seemed to have been done with
just pencil, but to Dylan it seemed like a work of art.
     "You're really good." Dylan said softly, not wanting to disturb the
artist or her muses.
     "Thanks." The girl said turning around a bit to look up at Dylan. "I
haven't seen you here before, first time?"
     "Yeah, my mom thought it would be good for me to come down and talk
with Mr. Shep... Allan about some stuff." Dylan caught himself.
     "You know Allan?" she asked, seeming to be genuinely interested.
     "Yeah... he is sort of my English teacher... and my homeroom advisor."
Dylan admitted.
     "So you go to Ascension High? We don't get many people from there down
here that is for sure." She commented.
     "Yeah, haven't seen anyone I know here yet. Doubt I will, honestly."
     "Might not be a bad thing." Mia admitted, "Sometimes people just don't
understand."
     "Understand? Understand what?" Dylan asked a little confused.
     "Well," Mia began, "This for example."
     She held up her sketch.
     "I guess you're right." Dylan said simply.
     "So, what's your story?" Mia asked, motioning for him to join her on
the couch.
     Moving over around the side of the couch, Dylan could see another boy
curled up on the couch that separated Mia's couch and the couch with the
two boys on it. He seemed to be reading a book and Dylan couldn't help but
think he was awfully cute. Mia noticed his glance.
     "That is my sister Riley." She commented.
     "Aiden." Came a correction from the boy on the couch.
     "Sorry, my sister, Aiden." She amended, "I'm Mia."
     "Dylan." He introduced himself, "Nice to meet you."
     "So, Dylan, what brings you to Haven?" Mia asked politely.
     "Well, umm... actually... my... well..." Dylan paused as he collected
his thoughts and began again, "My parents are actually my foster parents,
but they adopted me, and we just took in this boy, Nolan, who I really
lo..ike... and he sort of has some questions about stuff I don't really
know right now. Allan was going to help me sort some stuff
out... but... I'm a little nervous to ask him about some stuff."
     "Ah, I see." Mia said, "Like what kind of stuff? Maybe we can help."
     "Well, for starters, he wants to know how sex works... like, between
two guys..." Dylan admitted with a blush.
     "Easy, you just grip the pillow and relax." The dark haired boy on the
other couch chimed in.
     Dylan, Mia, Aiden, and even the boy lying on top of him all looked up
to give the dark haired boy a disbelieving stare.
     "What?" he asked defensively, "Ah, fuck all you."
     The boy on his chest just giggled and nuzzled closer to his boyfriend.
     "Thank you, Sammy; very nicely done." Mia congratulated, "You are
going to freak out the new kid."
     "No one can take a joke, jeez." Sammy threw back, "Besides, if he
wants to know so badly, why doesn't this boy come down himself and ask?"
     "Umm... he is sort of too young to be down here..." Dylan sheepishly
admitted. "He is sort of eleven."
     "My good sir, you have our full and undivided attention." Aiden said
as he let his book rest on his chest.
     Dylan broke down and finally admitted the whole truth of the matter to
the four strangers. He told them about Nolan, their friendship and feelings
for one another, as well as Nolan kissing him. He also went on to explain
how Nolan would be starting high school soon and about his near drowning at
the pool.
     "Whoa, wait... that was you?" Aiden asked with awe in his voice. "I
heard about that, and the kid that nearly died was your Nolan?"
     "Yeah." Dylan admitted meekly. "It shouldn't have happened in the
first place, if a good lifeguard had been on duty..."
     "Still, you saved his life." Aiden replied, "And that is something."
     A beeping from a phone alarm went off as Sammy let out a sigh and the
smaller boy reached into his pocket to pull out his cell.
     "Well, that's us." The boy sweetly said as he leaned up to give Sammy
a peck on the cheek.
     As the two collected themselves and made as to leave, Dylan was a bit
heartbroken to see the two boys be separated, as if lying together was
their natural form. The smaller boy grabbed an old army jacket many sizes
too large for him and put it on. The image it presented was comical, but
Sammy provided a tender moment as he adjusted the overly sized garment on
the boy he loved.
     "See you guys next time?" Mia asked.
     "Yeah, we should." The younger boy replied.
     "Have a good walk home you two, and Kendal, if Sammy tries anything,
just hit him in the sweet spot." Aiden encouraged.
     Kendal laughed as he took Sammy's hand into his own and they walked to
the door. Before leaving, Sammy yelled for Mia to give Dylan his number,
just in case he had any technical questions. When he thought Kendal might
get mad that his boyfriend was saying something like that to another boy,
Kendal just giggled and told Dylan that `Sammy would know.'
     Mia gave a long sigh after the door closed on both boys.
     "There goes the Romeo and Juliette of Haven."
     Mia gave Dylan Sammy's number, as well as her and her sister's just in
case. After a moment's consideration, they also gave Dylan Allan's number,
because he was one of the main contacts for Haven and didn't know if he was
in his cell yet. Almost all the kids that came had Allan's number.
     "And as far as technical stuff goes..." Aiden began as he slowly got
himself off the couch, "we might have something in the library to help."
     He took Dylan over to the wall behind the couch where he just noticed
the shelves that seemed to overflow with books. Searching through some of
the lower shelves, Aiden finally came up with a book all about gay
sex. After helping him check it out with Allan, who gave him a wary eye, he
had him put it in his pocket.
     "Now, you have a reason to come back and see us." He said cheerfully.

Nolan dutifully dialed in the numbers as Dylan gave him Mia, Aiden, and
Allan's numbers. As he began typing in Allan's name into his cell phone's
directory, he paused a bit.
     "Dylan?" Nolan asked, "Should I put Allan in as Allan or Mr. Shepherd?
He is going to be my teacher too."
     "Well," Dylan replied, "How many Allan's do you know whose number you
have?"
     "I only know the one, but who knows what tomorrow will bring?"
     "Something tells me you are going to be fine, buddy." Dylan said with
a chuckle.
     As Nolan finished spelling Allan's name into his phone, he selected
the save option and a familiar tone signaled success. After closing his
phone and storing it on his dresser, he moved over to Dylan bed to snuggle
in with him and see the book he had picked up from the center.
     "How come I can't just go to Haven?" Nolan asked a little disappointed
that he hadn't been able to go and meet all the new people Dylan had. He
seemed to have gotten over his withdrawn stage and with Dylan's help had
started to learn the basics of swimming.
     "I told you. You are too young right now. You have to be thirteen to
go there." Dylan comforted, as he continued reading about various
interesting positions.
     "So? That is like a year away. Why can't we just lie and say I am
thirteen already? No one will know..."
     "Umm... hey, genius," Dylan kidded, "Allan is a facilitator there and
he also happens to know for a fact that you are not thirteen... and what do
you mean a year away?"
     "Well... my birthday is in a couple weeks, so I will be twelve
then. So it will be just a year after that I could start going to Haven,
but why do I have to wait that long?" Nolan pleaded with adorable puppy-dog
eyes.
      "Whoa, wait. You're b-day is in like a couple weeks?" Dylan asked
confounded that no one had told him.
     "Yeah, it's not a big deal." Nolan replied a little concerned at
Dylan's reaction.
     "Not a big deal? It's your birth day; the day which celebrates the
moment of you entering into the world for the first time. It is so a very
big deal. We are going to have to have a party, a good one too." Dylan
began making plans in his head.
     "If you say so, Dylan... knock yourself out." Was all Nolan said as he
laughed to himself.
     "You feeling okay?" Dylan asked a little concerned at Nolan's rather
odd behavior as of late.
     "I feel fine." Nolan said simply, "I guess I've just been feeling a
little more... free. Like a huge weight has been lifted off of my body and
I am as light as a feather, like I could do anything. I think it is thanks
to you. I don't feel afraid anymore, not after... well... you know."
     Dylan just nodded. After he and Nolan had talked that night, the kid
had been more perky and happy-go-lucky. Dylan was certainly glad Nolan was
feeling better and becoming more outgoing, but it almost seemed like it was
too quick of a change for it to be good or natural. Dylan decided he was
going to keep a closer eye on Nolan, just in case there was something else
going on that he wasn't seeing. He honestly hoped that everything was fine
with his little buddy.
     He was brought out of his thoughts with a gentle kiss on the lips.
     "You know, you think way too much, Dylan." Nolan smiled.
     "Well, when it comes to you, I could spend all day thinking about...
all sorts of fun things." Dylan retorted as he returned the kiss with his
own.