Date: Sat, 26 May 2007 23:21:43 +0000
From: The Rock <endstorm@hotmail.com>
Subject: Storm Front 33 for gay/highschool/storm-front

STORM FRONT
By SFwriter
4.09b - Family
Season 4: The Price We Pay For GloryPart 2 of 2

* * * * * * *

Marcel
leaned against the concrete wall of the field changing rooms as he
watched the events unfolding before him. Marty Lee and Mike seemed to
be having a rather intense conversation. Well, Marty Lee was doing most
of the talking while Mike was just standing there taking it all in.
Marcel couldn't hear all of the conversation taking place, but he heard
enough to know what it was about.
He wanted to go over,
but he really didn't like Marty Lee. Something about him had been
setting Marcel off since the moment they had first met. He'd heard a
lot about him, but actually meeting him in person was a different
story. Something about him just didn't ring true to Marcel. He was
hiding. He was cold. And he wasn't honest.
His eyes gave him
away. Marcel had seen so many others like him. He used to pity them,
but now he just hated them. People like Marty Lee hurt other people.
People like Marty Lee had hurt him.
He watched Mike drive
away in Marty Lee's car with Dade in tow and took the opportunity to
confront Marty Lee. Something in Marty Lee reminded him so much of his
attackers at Drake. He wanted to take all his anger out on Marty Lee,
but he had enough self control to do otherwise. And he was still
surprised by his latest actions. He actually seemed ... genuine.
Something Marcel hadn't seen in him yet. It gave him pause to think
that maybe ... just maybe Marty Lee wasn't a complete and utter prick.
That was still a big maybe.
"Didn't know you had it in you." Marcel said as Marty Lee walked past him.
"Oh, Marcel." Marty Lee said surprised by Marcel's presence, still too lost
in thought to be fully aware of his surroundings.
"That was a nice thing you just did. Surprising but nice."
"I thought you didn't like me? No one else seems to." Marty Lee said in an
uncharacteristically unguarded moment.
"You didn't exactly
endear yourself when we first met. I didn't like you the first moment I
saw you. You had a different look in your face then. Now ... you
actually seem a bit lost. What's wrong? Conscience getting to you?"
"I don't have one. Don't talk to me." Marty Lee said flatly as he began
walking off smartly.
Marcel smiled to
himself as he watched Marty Lee walk away. Clearly something was
getting to him. And he was pretty sure it was his conscience. He
actually felt somewhat sorry for him. He was a completely different
story to Brad. Brad was bravado and no brains when he was the local
asshole. Marty Lee on the other hand was a lot more complicated. That's
what actually scared Marcel. Marty Lee was a hell of a lot smarter and
more calculating than Brad ever was. And underneath it all, Brad wasn't
so bad. Marcel was actually beginning to like him. But as for Marty
Lee, he still wasn't sure. Marcel had just caught him off guard and it
showed. Still ... he seemed lonely in his vulnerable state. Something
Marcel could often relate to.
"Hey!" Marcel yelled suddenly. "Marty Lee!"
"What?" Marty Lee said annoyed as he stopped to look at Marcel with a
flustered look still on his face. "What do you want?"
Marcel stood there
for a moment just studying Marty Lee's eyes. Trying to seek out his
true nature. See if he actually had some kind of heart in him.
"What?" Marty Lee asked again, still annoyed. "What is it?"
"You wanna ... maybe grab something to eat before next class?"
"Huh?"
"I asked if you wanted to get something to eat."
"That's what I thought you said." Marty Lee said in surprise.
"So?"
"Uhh no." Marty Lee said shaking his head, seemingly annoyed at either
himself or Marcel. "Just leave me alone."
Marcel shrugged his
shoulders as Marty Lee walked off again. At least he could say he
tried. He didn't know whether he'd ever feel inclined to go out on a
limb with Marty Lee again. But he knew he'd got to him. Perhaps that
was enough for now.

* * * * * *

"You should've seen
his face, Mike." Dade said looking like some kind of lost soul as he
stared aimlessly out the window of Marty Lee's WRX.
"It'll be ok, Dade. He'll come around." Mike said reassuringly. "You'll see."
"He didn't even say anything. He just sat there ..."
"I still can't believe it myself. Everything he's believed for so long has
just been turned upside down. Give him time."
"Things were already
bad between us. There was a time when I thought that nothing could come
between him and me but lately ... and especially today, I think I've
lost him. He could hate me. I wouldn't blame him."
"Don't talk like
that, Dade. And don't think any stupid shit either." Mike said
surprising Dade with his authority. "Storm's not the only one who cares
about you. I was there on that bridge too you know. I know why you went
up there now. You should have said something. Don't start thinking this
is an excuse to go back up there. I need you to be strong. You're not
the only one who goes through shit. Mom's not here anymore to look
after us. We have to start taking care of ourselves. I don't want to
sound harsh, but to be honest, I've just about had enough of picking up
everyone else's problems. I've had my own, you know; but I deal with
it. You're stronger than I am whether you believe it or not. You have
to own this, Dade. You have to accept it and just move past it. Don't
hate me for what I'm saying to you, but it's time for all of us to just
get on with it. Storm will come around. Just have a little faith."
"Ok." Dade said still a little shocked by Mike's abrupt but true comments.
"Listen, you're not going back to school like this. But I'm not leaving you
alone either."
"Where are you taking me?"
"To spend some time with your future sister in law."
"Sarah? I don't think that's a good idea. I'll just bring her down."
"She needs the company. And I'm not giving you an option."
"Man, you're getting
old." Dade said with a tiny smile as he patted Mike on the shoulder.
"You're younger than Storm, older than me; but I swear, you're the
oldest one of all of us."
"Everyone's different, Dade. You know that."
"I suppose that's why you're the captain too. Maturity as well as
responsibility and leadership, huh? Something like that?"
"You forgot humility." Mike smirked.
"You won't even pat
yourself on the back now. Just admit it, you're the responsible, mature
one of us. Storm's bossy. There's a difference."
"He loves you." Mike said trying not to laugh too much at Dade's last
comment. "Just give him time."
"Does it change anything between us, Mike?" Dade asked somewhat anxiously.
"Why would it? I'm
the adopted one, remember? It wouldn't matter to me anyway. Besides,
that's not why I love you or why you're my brother. You're my brother
because we're family. And we're family because we were raised that way.
I mean, let's be honest here, I'm not your blood. But I am your family.
I don't expect you to ever say otherwise, right?"
"Hell no." Dade said
emphatically. "Fuck that. We are family. Mom should have just adopted
you as soon as your Mom died so it would have been official a long time
ago. She loved you your whole life, Mike. No ... I'll never ever say
otherwise. Never."
"Thank you." Mike said somewhat uplifted by Dade's response. "So what makes
you think Storm will be any different with you?"
"I guess you have a good argument there."
"You know I do. Just try to have a good day with Sarah. I'll take care of
everything at school."

* * * * * *

Dade felt somewhat
awkward at the moment. He would have rather just gone back to school,
but Mike wanted Dade somewhere he could be kept an eye on. So that
place ended up being Sarah's. Dade hated the idea. He didn't want to be
a burden to Sarah and to be honest, it had been a while since the two
had spent any time alone. Dade loved Sarah, but there was a small
period there when they weren't talking too much and since then they
hadn't really spent enough time together.
"Hey, Spunky." Sarah said with a smile as she entered the lounge.
She had a tired look
on her face which was understandable. Dade's eyes filled with sadness
at seeing Sarah in such a weak state. So unlike her true spirit. She
pulled her legs up on the couch as she sat down next to Dade. She wore
an oversized tee and some tracks, but she still seemed so beautiful to
Dade. Maybe Mike was right. Being around Sarah would be good for him.
Seeing someone who had real problems might put things into a bit of
perspective for him.
Sarah's beauty was in
her radiance. Her spirit and her determination. It sent a chill up
Dade's spine to think that they could have lost Sarah as well as June.
That would have just been too much.
"You look beautiful." Dade said with a genuine smile. "Hope you don't
mind. Mike insisted."
"Trust me, I love
having the company. And it's been a while since you and I have spent
any real time together on our own." Sarah said nudging Dade playfully.
"I need to spend more time with my future brother in law."
"Man, that's so cool." Dade said with a grin. "You guys have any idea when?"
"Well ..." Sarah said
with a serious tone. "Mike and I were talking last night. We were going
to tell everyone this tonight, but I may as well tell you now. You know
I'm on chemo and everything now, right?"
"Yeah." Dade responded with an equally serious tone. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. Shit
happens. But anyway, I'm gonna need some more specialized treatment and
Merlow General doesn't have the facilities to treat me. Not fully."
"What does that mean?" Dade asked with intense concern.
"It means I can hang around here and make do. Or I can move to the big city
where they have better facilities."
"Aww no." Dade said with frustrated disappointment. "No, Sarah. Not you
too. You're leaving?"
"Connie doesn't want to take any risks, so ... it looks like I am."
Dade couldn't believe
how overwhelmed he felt at Sarah's news. His eyes began filling with
tears as he realized the implications of what Sarah had said. She'd
been around all his life. She was part of the scenery. Part of the
fabric that wove together the strands of all their lives.
"For how long?"
"A while. A long while." Sarah said with tears in her eyes. "Till I'm better."
"You're leaving us? You're really leaving?"
"I'm sorry, Dade. I never meant for this. This is just how life goes
sometimes."
Dade fell forward and
held his face in his hands as he cried his eyes out. Sarah may not have
died but he felt as if everyone was going to lose her anyway. The
thought of it was more overwhelming than he'd ever have imagined. Not
Sarah, not their Sarah.
"It's ok, Dade. You
can still call me anytime you need me. It beats praying to try and talk
to me." Sarah said with a twisted smile. "It'll be ok. We're family.
You're part of my life. Everyone here is. This isn't the end."
Dade turned to face
Sarah, his eyes bloodshot from crying, and he still felt blown away by
her spirit. Here she was, the sick one, comforting him. He wrapped his
arms around her and held her as tight as he could without feeling as
though he'd squash her.
"I love you, Sarah. I
don't say that enough, but after your scare and losing Mom and
especially now that you're leaving, I have to say it more often. But if
it's what you have to do to get better, I'm behind you all the way."
"I love you too, Bro. I know we've had our problems, Dade, but ..."
"What problems?" Dade
interrupted. "No problems. Fuck 'em. I don't care. I just want you to
be well, Sarah. That's all I care about. If I can ever do anything,
I'll do it yesterday. Just tell me."
"Thank you." Sarah
said as let herself rest in Dade's arms. "I'll be calling you little
brother soon enough. Don't be sad, Dade. You're not losing a friend,
you're gaining a sister."
"That's going to be so cool." Dade said, his eyes still watered, as he
smiled at Sarah. "We'll really be family."
"We've always been family, Dade. Only now it'll just be official."
"When's the big day?"
"There are two things
I want for our wedding, Dade. I have to be married here in Merlow
surrounded by all the people I love. That means you guys. I want you
guys to be there or it just won't be the same."
"What's the second thing?"
"I want to be married
before my hair starts falling out." Sarah said with a laugh. "So both
of those mean that we'll be getting married before I leave."
"What about Mike?"
"I've been trying to
convince him to just stay long enough to finish out his school year,
but he wants to come with me. We'll talk more tonight."
"How soon are you leaving?"
"I'm not sure
exactly. A couple weeks at the most. Time isn't on my side. I have to
move as soon as I can. Connie's already started on the arrangements.
We'll be staying with Carey to start with until she finds us our own
place. I think Mike and I will get married here in Merlow and when we
go on our honeymoon, we'll leave then. I want to leave Merlow on a
happy day. That's all I can ask for. I want my ... not to sound
pessimistic, but let's say things don't go well ... I want my last
memories of this place to be happy ones."
"You've got the best
angel up there watching over you, Sarah. No matter where you are, we'll
be here to support you." Dade said as he squeezed Sarah's hand. "No
matter what you need. If there's anything you need from me, please use
me. It'll make me feel so good if I know I can help."
"Thank you, Dade."
Sarah sighed with a blissful smile. "I'm so glad you came over. Don't
be sad for me. Be happy. I love you guys to death."
"Bad choice of words." Dade said with a mock cross look on his face.
"Ok, I love you guys to ... life?"
"Better." Dade grinned.
"Everything will work
out. I won't give up. And you can bet when I'm back on my feet and
invincible again, I'll be back here in a shot giving you hell."
"That's the Sarah I know."
"You're going to stay till the party tonight, aren't you?"
"After what you've
just told me, I'm gonna be here every day till you leave. You'll be
glad to see the back of me when you finally go."
"Never." Sarah said
with a warm smile as she picked up the DVD remote. "Now go grab us some
popcorn from the kitchen and let's watch a movie."

* * * * * *

"Mike! Have you seen Storm?" Lucas yelled as he ran up to Mike, who was
already out on the field getting ready for training.
"No."
"I haven't heard from him since this morning."
"Joined at the hip already, are ya?" Mike said with a cheeky grin.
"No, Dude." Lucas
said shaking his head with a mock scowl on his face. "I was just
wondering. Why? Did I sound a little bit too possessive?"
"No. I was just messing with ya."
"Oh. That's good. I'm
starting to get a bit paranoid. If I had it my way we would be joined
at the hip. It's just that it's taken so long to get this point. You
know what I mean, Dude?"
"I know."
"But I'm scared I might be overcrowding him. I don't want to scare him off."
"Don't worry about
it. So you love the guy. So you wanna keep him close. There's nothing
wrong with that. Just try to relax. Enjoy what you have. Don't force
it. You don't have to. You already have it."
"Thanks, Dude." Lucas
said genuinely relieved and grateful for Mike's advice. "You're right.
That's so cool. Yeah, just go with it."
"Exactly."
"That's why you're
the captain." Lucas said prodding Mike in the chest. "How's everything
going with Sarah? Think she's up for our party tonight?"
"Marcel's already spilled the beans. But she's looking forward to it. You
coming over straight after training or what?"
"Nah, Dude. I have to go home and say goodbye to my parents."
"I know Sarah would want you there tonight but ... if you're feeling down
after they leave ..."
"Dude, no way. I'm
there!" Lucas said emphatically. "How about you? Are you doing ok? You
seemed a bit distracted when I first saw you."
"Oh ... it's nothing."
"You sure, Dude?"
Lucas said with his sheepish smile. "We've kissed you know. That means
you can't put anything past old Dude Boy."
"I don't know whether my kids will want to hear that story." Mike said with
a laugh. "Thanks for reminding me."
"I feel kind of
special, you know?" Lucas said with just a hint of mischief in his
voice. "I'm the only guy you've ever kissed on the lips. Dude, I'm your
guy! For the rest of your life, I'll be the only guy you ever kissed.
You know how cool that is?"
"Shut up, Sheridan." Mike blushed. "It was just a kiss. Nothing more. No
pangs or lust. Just a kiss."
"I know. That's what I like about it. So when are we gonna do it again?"
"When I die."
"That long, huh?"
"Longer."
"Well, then I'll settle for you telling me what's up. Or just telling me
how you're doing."
"Doing better now."
Mike smiled, still somewhat red from Lucas' banter. "I did have a few
things on my mind, but I don't want to get into it now. Maybe after
training we can go grab a bite before you head home."
"Sounds like a plot, Dude." Lucas grinned. "It's about time we hung out
again. We have to start doing it more often."
"Yeah ..." Mike said with a subtle frown. "We should."

* * * * * *

Claire stood at the
front door of Sarah's house with a care basket in one hand and flowers
in the other. She pushed the doorbell and waited nervously for an
answer. Nervous only because she hadn't spent that much time with Sarah
lately and she wasn't sure if she was visiting Sarah too soon after
being out of hospital. She wanted to give Sarah time to rest, but she
also wanted to show that she was thinking of her. They'd been good
friends in the past and right now Claire was hoping they would be
again. She wanted to give Sarah any support she could during this
period.
"Hi, Claire." Dade
said in surprise as he answered the door, before his usual mischief
filled grin appeared. "Come to finish what we started have ya?"
"Oh ... hi, Dade." Claire said with equal surprise. "No. I'm here to see
Sarah."
"Naturally. Come on
in." Dade said as he held the door open for Claire. "Sarah's in the
lounge. Do you want a drink or something?"
"I'm fine, thanks."
"I'll let you guys
talk. I've got to get the sounds set up for Sarah's party. Go on in.
I'll be downstairs if you change your mind." Dade said with a grin as
he closed the door behind Claire and headed into the rumpus.
"Hey." Claire said somewhat nervously as she entered Sarah's lounge.
"Claire!" Sarah said with a beaming smile as she jumped to her feet and
greeted Claire with a warm hug.
Sarah kissed her
friend on the cheek as the two held each other in a familial embrace.
Sarah took Claire's hand as they both slumped down onto the couch and
Claire handed Sarah her gifts. Sarah took the flowers and chocolates
with a thankful grin, ripping open the box and offering Claire some.
Claire declined politely, as she always did, and while doing so
realized just how happy she was to be with her old friend.
"Thanks for these."
Sarah said as she licked the tips of her fingers clean of any remaining
chocolate. "I've been hanging out for a sugar rush all day."
"You look better." Claire said with a smile.
"I feel better just being home again. Thanks for coming over."
"I wasn't sure
whether I should have waited a while longer before coming over. In case
you needed more time to rest without any visitors."
"I'm glad you came.
It's nice to have some female company. I love my boys but ... they're
all boys you know and sometimes you just wanna be a girl." Sarah said
as she cocked her head to the side with a contemplative smile. "You
know what I mean?"
"Yeah. You and I are
lucky, we have all these spunky guys around us. But even for me, I
don't really have many close girlfriends. You're my closest one. I know
you guys are all really tight, but I've missed you and I hanging out."
"You picked a good day to come over, I wanted to ask you something."
"What?"
"You remember how I told you that Mike and I were getting married?"
"Oh yeah."
"I asked you to be my bridesmaid."
"Yeah ..." Claire said with a rush of butterflies overwhelming her as she
anticipated what Sarah was about to say.
"It's happening soon so ... would you?"
"Be your bridesmaid?"
"Yeah. It would mean a lot to me."
"Are you kidding!?" Claire said almost flying off the chair as she jumped
up in excitement. "I'd love to! Oh, this is so cool!"
"I know." Sarah said with just as much excitement as Claire gave her a big
hug.
"Thank you, Sarah.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Claire yelled excitedly. "Oh, I'm so
happy. This is going to be so cool. Are you sure you want me though?
There's nobody else?"
"I know Mike's going
to ask Storm to be his bridesm ... I mean best man." Sarah laughed as
she covered her mouth in embarrassment. "I meant best man. And I can't
exactly see Marcel in a dress being my bridesmaid, can you?"
"Hmm ..." Claire said as if in deep thought. "I'm not sure. I guess it
would depend on the dress."
"You're just as bad as I am." Sarah said throwing a pillow at Claire. "So
you're fine with it?"
"I'm honored." Claire
said as she held her hand over her stomach in an effort to calm
herself. "Sorry to be such a teeny bopper about it. I'm just so
excited. Anyone would think I was getting married. Do you have a date
set yet? Do you need any help with the organizing? I can help with
anything you want me to."
"I know you're good
at organizing things: that's why you're on the student council; but
let's just see how we go. I don't want you to worry about anything
except all the girly stuff you and I have to worry about. Leave the
rest for the boys."
"Are you kidding?"
Claire said emphatically. "You can't let those men try to organize
this. I mean Storm might be bi or gay, but he's no queer eye for the
straight guy if you know what I mean. And Marcel? He's too manly to
pick out flowers. I think out of everyone, Mike's the best to do
anything sensitive. Color coordinating, all the rest of that stuff.
Leave it to us. Oh listen to me, you just asked me to be your
bridesmaid and I'm already trying to run the show."
"It's ok." Sarah
sighed. "I'm just happy that it's actually happening. And Storm
actually has some of the better fashion sense of all of us. But don't
let him know I said that. He likes to look cool but he wouldn't want
you knowing how much he actually obsesses over looking cool. That's our
Storm, he's a man out to please the world whether he admits it or not.
You're right about Marcel though. He's a hard nut."
"So when's the big day?"
"Mike and I will
finalize a firm date. I already know where I want to have the wedding.
It won't be anything extravagant since we're having it on such short
notice. But I know it'll be beautiful."
"Where are you having it?"
"Down on the beach.
No shoes. Just sand, suits, dresses and the sun. As long as I'm
surrounded by the people I love, I don't care about anything else. I
just want to be married to my baby with our family and friends there to
share it. That's all I want."
"That sounds just
perfect." Claire sighed as she began dreaming away. "You're so lucky to
have a guy like Mike. You guys are just meant to be."
"We are." Sarah
smiled. "One thing about going for a ride in the tunnel of light, you
seem to come back knowing what you want from life. And I want him. What
about you? How's everything with Josh?"
"All you need to know
is my luck hasn't changed. I still get all the guys who like guys."
Claire said as she feigned a smile. "I wish I could just be single, but
I'm one of those lame girls who just wants her knight in shining armor
to ride her away to their kingdom."
Sarah brushed her
hand along Claire's arm sympathetically. Claire tried to hide her
disappointment and dejectedness, but there was no denying how lonely
she seemed right now.
"I want it more than
anything. Just to have someone want me in return. Josh could've lived a
lie and I would've lived it right with him. That's so lame, but it's
true. I don't know what's wrong with me. I never seem to find anyone
who really wants me. It's got to the point where I don't care anymore
whether they want me or not. I just want someone to hold me. Josh did
that. He loved me ... but I couldn't be what he wanted. Even Dade this
morning. He told me how he used to have this big crush on me. He was
flirting with me and I know he was joking, but if he had pushed it just
a little more, I would've jumped at him."
"Who wouldn't? That guy just oozes it and he probably doesn't even realize."
"Oh no, he realizes
it very well." Claire said with a blush. "When he wants to use it, he
uses it very well. If he really wanted me, he'd have me before he even
finished asking. I don't know what it is about him."
"Listen, you're going to hang around for my party tonight, aren't you? It
might make you feel better."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. You have to
stay. It was only supposed to be a small party, but so many people have
called me wishing me well that I ended up inviting half the school. So
now I'm inviting you. Please?"
"Sure." Claire smiled. "Might be fun. I'd love to."

* * * * * *

I sat here beside
Mom's grave trying to digest what Dade had told me. It had been
raining, but I didn't care. I've never been afraid of the rain. I
suppose it fits with my name that I'm so fond of the weather, rain or
shine. I guess it helps living in a place as beautiful as Merlow.
I needed to think. To
digest what Dade had told me. My mind still reeled from it. Still had
trouble comprehending the immense implications of it all. I know he'd
had a hard time with it, but he'd had a lot longer to deal with it all.
You don't find out your brother isn't your real brother every day of
the week. That's what I was still having trouble dealing with. I felt
as though my whole life had just been one big fraud. Like my family
wasn't my family. My Dad was my dad and I loved him, but he was not the
father I needed him to be, not now, and I doubted he ever would be. I
didnn't think he could be that father to Dade either. Whether Dade
thought so or not, I was the closest thing he'd had to that for the
last few years. I never tried to be, I just was. I'm not perfect and I
never will be, but I'd always been loyal to Dade and tried to protect
him.
That's why I was so
hurt by what I felt was a betrayal. I know things have been changing
between us for a while, but I always thought he'd have my back and I'd
have his. That's what brothers do. Still, he's not exactly the brother
I thought he was. That was just too much for me to deal with in one
day. A lifetime just turned upside down.
Now that I'd had time
to think though, I missed him. I was feeling lonely for him. I knew now
why he'd been hurting and the truth is, I wouldn't have given a flying
fuck if he had been some alien with super powers. He'd still have been
my brother. Him learning all of this ... it's no wonder he was on that
bridge. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes as everything began to
make sense. Surely he may have resented me, but not for the reasons I
thought. He resented me because I was, in his eyes, a real son.
Something he thought he would never be.
So many signs I
should have seen that make so much sense now, but like they say,
hindsight is 20/20. The way he acted, his resentment of me, his
depression. I could almost pin the point that he changed on me. I
didn't know how he managed to keep this inside for so long. I didn't
know if I could have done the same without doing something stupid. Even
now I felt the urge to just find him and make sure he's ok. To just be
the big brother and fuck everything else that'd happened. To just take
care of him. To take care of my brother.
Just being here next
to Mom's grave always seemed to have a sort of calming effect on me. Or
it'd make things clearer to me. As if she were here in the flesh and we
were having one of our talks. That's why I came here as well, actually.
To talk to her.
"I can understand why
you didn't want to tell him, Mom. I know you wanted to protect him, but
I wish you had told me. I don't know what to do, Mom. Who do I turn to
now that you're not here? Who do I ask for help? There's no one else in
the world I trust as much as you. Everything's just turned to shit
since you died, Mom. You held us together. It's all falling apart. It's
all just falling apart." I said with a defeated sigh, my eyes flicking
over the withering flowers on Mom's grave.
"I don't know what's
going to happen to Sarah now that you're gone. Merlow isn't exactly a
bustling city with an abundance of Dr. June Marcus'. I know someone can
succeed you, but they can never replace you. Watch over her, Mom. She
can't leave us. She just can't."
"There's so much pain
around us right now. I know if you were here, you could make it all
better. You'd put things into perspective or be our strength. Marcel
told me what you said to him. He came to you first. Everybody came to
you. Marcel. Mike. Sarah. It never surprised me. You were just that
kind of person. I'm sorry, I don't mean to be a downer. I just needed
to be near you. For the rest of my life, this is the closest I'm ever
going to be to you. That's a pretty depressing thought, Mom." I said as
my eyes began to water. "So what if people think I'm a Mommy's boy. I
was and I don't care. I'd give anything to be a Mommy's boy for just
one more day. You never even got to say goodbye."
It was then that I
felt my tears begin sliding silently down my face. I let them come. I
ran my hands through the blades of grass beside her grave. Closed my
eyes and pretended that somehow the grass would connect me to her.
Would let me be closer to her. I felt so lonely right now it was
indescribable. I sat cross legged on the ground, rubbing my arms and
huddling over as I cried. Steady and silent. Those were my tears, that
was my cry.
"And then there's
still Dade. When he told me ... I just felt lonely. Shocked. I couldn't
say anything. The old me would've probably flipped a lid, but I try to
keep my stormy side in check. I think I'm growing up, Mom. But I still
don't know what to do. I would've died for Dade, Mom. I can't remember
if I told you what happened on the bridge, but I suppose you know now.
I would've died before I let him go. That's how much I loved ... love?
Love him? Oh geez, I can hear you right now." I said with a small laugh
that cut back a sob. "You're telling me that he's my brother no matter
what. That I have to look after him. That we're family."
I sat there with a
warm smile on my face as I placed my hand on the mound of dirt resting
on her grave. I could feel her there with me. I let out an almost happy
sigh as I felt a warmth inside me. Heard her voice in my head telling
me what I have to do.
"You're right, Mom."
I said with a nod. "He is my brother. Nothing's changed. Nothing's
changed at all. You're telling me not to think too much. To feel my way
through. To listen to what's inside me. Don't overanalyse. Just follow
my heart. Thank you."
Some people would
call me crazy, sitting here talking to Mom like this. Ask me if I care.
I got what I had come for. I stood up and blew her a kiss before
placing another rose on her grave. A rush of emotion came over me as I
stood there for a moment, just basking in her company.
The night was getting
colder as I turned to leave. But I couldn't help feeling a little more
directed than before I came. She may be dead, but I'm still gonna be a
pain in the ass and bug her every time shit hits the fan. And why not?
She may not be here anymore, but she'll always be my Mom. And I'll
always need her.

* * * * * *

Dade's mind was still
consumed with everything that had happened to him lately. In a way he
was glad that so much had happened since his mother's death because it
distracted him from his grief. Grief that still surfaced every so often.
The situation with
Storm had caused him so much distress today. And it only added to the
rejection he still felt from Marcel. The news of Sarah's impending
departure also played on his mind. Not to mention that with her he was
bound to lose Mike as well. All in all life was looking pretty shit for
the youngest Marcus.
He'd managed to chill
out a bit here with Sarah though and he'd enjoyed his day with her.
Helping to organize everything for her party tonight had given him
enough distraction to actually try and relax. Sarah had been on the
phone talking to well-wishers all day. That meant Dade was left with
Claire to get everything set up.
It was more fun than
either of them had expected. They actually shared quite a few laughs,
which made Dade remember just how good friends they once were. It
seemed odd hanging out without Josh to finish their little group, but
they still had fun. And Dade knew it wouldn't be appropriate for Josh
to be here right now. Claire was still a little raw from being cut
loose. So was Dade for that matter. Being rejected was something they
had in common right now.
"Well, wouldn't you
know it? We're pretty much all set." Dade said with a sigh of relief as
he fell back onto his chair. "Thanks for your help, Claire. That was
fun."
"Anything else I can do to help?" Claire asked as she sat down beside Dade.
"No. I'm pretty buggered now. How about you?"
"You gave me all the easy jobs. I didn't have to set all these sounds
up. You have the DJ duties tonight do you?"
"I hope not. I plan on partying." Dade said with a grin. "You're staying,
right?"
"I'm not really in a party mood. I might hang around till it fills up and
then make a quiet exit."
"Come on, Carlyle. You can do better than that. It'll be fun."
"You think so?"
"Sure. Besides, I wanna spend as much time with Mike and Sarah before they
leave. Tonight's the perfect opportunity."
"Bit of a shock, aye?"
"Still sinking in.
It's for the best. I can understand why Sarah has to go. And I know
Mike will want to go with her, but I won't pretend I'm not going to
miss them. Mike especially." Dade said with a distracted look on his
face as he contemplated the notion of Mike leaving Merlow. "It's
getting a lot emptier around this place."
"Well, you know me, I'll always be here." Claire said with a reassuring pat
of Dade's hand.
Dade's eyes caught
Claire's movement with a sharp look of surprise. She'd implied nothing
but genuine support, yet still Dade seemed to jolt at her touch. He
gave her a classic Dade raised eyebrow as he sat beside her. It was as
if lightbulbs were going on in his head.
Claire sensed this
and felt a sudden sense of awkwardness come over her. Whether
intentional or innocent, Dade had been flirting with her all day.
Except this time there was no flirting implied. Yet she felt more
awkward than at any of those moments because of the look Dade was
giving her.
She quickly pulled
her hand away and turned her attention away from Dade. When she turned
back he was still staring back at her with his eyebrow raised. As if he
was questioning something about her in his head.
"I should probably go and get ready." Claire said with a gulp of anxiety.
"Why?" Dade asked as he slid his hand back over Claire's. "You don't want
this?"
"Dade ..." Claire said as her heart began racing. "Don't."
He didn't. He kept
staring at her as if she was the only thing worthy of his attention.
This was a step further than the usual flirting he'd been doing with
her today. This time he really was pressing it.
"I know you want me."
"Well, you're modest." Claire said with a small laugh that seemed to break
some of the tension between them. "Same as always."
"Just being honest." Dade said with a smile. "If you didn't want me, I
wouldn't bother flirting."
"You've gone past flirting, Dade."
"What's your point?"
"I'm not sure I want to go past flirting."
"I am."
"Dade ..."
"Yeah?"
"You're serious, aren't you?" Claire said intently.
Dade's face became serious and contemplative as he spoke. "You know one
thing we have in common, Claire?"
"What?"
"We never get the ones we want, but both of us want the same thing."
"And what's that?"
"Someone to want us.
That's all we want. Both of us. We don't have to be serious. It doesn't
have to be love. We both already care for each other. We can make each
other feel better."
"This isn't exactly what I had in mind, Dade."
"We've both been
rejected. What are we supposed to do? Sit around and mope the rest of
our lives? I'm sick of it. I'm not doing it anymore. You shouldn't
either."
"So?"
"I'm single. You're single. Not to mention hot." Dade said with a grin.
"Not the best line you've come up with, Dade."
"Maybe this one's better." Dade said as he surprised Claire with a kiss.
He kissed her the
only way he knew how to. With the tender skill of someone who knew just
how to kiss. At first she resisted his advance until his lips had
pushed her too far and she gave in. He left her lingering just as she
was getting into it.
"Whoa." Claire said breathlessly. "You're ... good ..."
"So I've been told." Dade said as he still kept an intimate proximity to
Claire, stroking his fingers through her hair.
"What do you want from me?"
"The same thing you
want from me. Someone. I just want someone. That's all I want. Let's
not kid ourselves. This isn't what either of us had in mind, but I'm
starting to think love is overrated anyway."
"And since I'm the closest thing with a pulse, I'm your target?"
"No. Like I said
before, we've both been rejected. Let's help each other feel better.
And believe me, as far as available females go ... you're the one to
beat. We know each other. We like each other. We're friends. Let's just
have some fun. There won't be any illusions. We'll just be together.
Come on, Claire. Would it be that bad?"
"That is so not romantic, Dade. I'm a girl, I need to be wooed. I feel like
I'm getting into some kind of business deal."
"I'll make you a better deal. As soon as you find someone you really do
want, I'm gone. No strings."
"And what happens if Marcel changes his mind?"
"Too late. He had his chance with me for so long. I'm not waiting anymore."
"I dunno. Still feels
weird. I liked it better when you just flirted with me. You probably
would have had an easier time getting what you wanted." Claire said
with a blushing grin. "You seem to know how to woo someone when you
want to."
"Is that an
invitation?" Dade grinned, flashing his dimples at Claire as he teased
her lips with his own but never letting them touch. "I can woo you any
way you want me to."
"That's better." Claire gulped. "Damn, you're evil."
"You better believe it. So what do you say? Can I kiss you again?"
"Can I stop you?"
"Only if you really
want to." Dade said continuing to tease Claire's skin with the presence
of his lips, this time moving down the nape of her neck.
"I don't."
"Good."

* * * * * *

"Thanks. You've been great." Marcel said to the assistant with a grateful
smile.
"Sure. Just give us a call when you're ready to start making arrangements."
"Will do."
Marcel stood with a
contemplative smile on his face. Proud of his choice of gift not only
for Sarah but also for Mike. He knew the party was to celebrate Sarah's
homecoming, but he believed Mike deserved some appreciation for his
constant support of not just Sarah but everyone. The present had set
him back a cool penny, but he hadn't even batted an eyelid over it. His
choice wasn't to flaunt that he had money to burn, but more how much
the two meant to him.
Without consulting
either of them, he'd gone ahead and paid for everything they needed to
get married. He knew Sarah intended to marry sooner now, not wanting to
waste any time after her scare. He also knew that anything Mike had
would go towards his education or Sarah. And anything Sarah's family
had would go towards her treatment. This was a small gesture on his
part to show how much he truly loved them. He'd often wanted to splurge
excessively on his friends, but didn't want to make them uncomfortable
by doing so. He knew at the end of the day, money had nothing to do
with how they all felt for one another.
He'd always felt
lucky to be included in the pack that he considered his greatest
family. He'd come in as an outsider. The rich kid on the block. It had
always made him feel uncomfortable. Storm was the first to notice him.
Soon after that he was introduced to Mike and Sarah and then finally to
June and Dade. Neither of them treated Marcel as anything less than one
of their own. None had ever tried to take advantage of his parent's
affluence. Even now it was still the same.
If he had made the
gesture to Mike and Sarah, they would have said no. Even though he knew
they would have a hard time trying to take care of everything
themselves. This would be one of the few times when he'd take the
initiative and just do something tangible for them without giving them
an option to refuse. Hopefully they would accept it in the spirit he
intended. Simply as a way to help, but more importantly as a way to
show how much he truly loved them both. And to say thank you.
"Here's hoping." Marcel said smiling to himself.

* * * * * *

Lucas sat at the
dinner table with his parents eating their final meal before Mira and
John caught a taxi to the airport. The dinner had been a pleasant one,
but Lucas was unhappy with the fact that Storm hadn't shown up yet. He
tried to enjoy the time he was having with his parents and not make an
issue of it, but to say he was disappointed was an understatement.
"I'm sorry Storm's not here. I don't know where he could be. He knew we
were having dinner before you guys flew out."
"It's ok dear. I'm sure he has a good reason."
"Yeah." Lucas said trying to mask the disappointment in his voice.
"Are you two going to
be ok here on your own? I know you're old enough to take care of
yourself now, Son, but this is a big step." John said seriously. "Your
mother and I don't want to be worrying while we're gone."
"We'll be ok, Dad. I guess I better find a job though. I don't want Storm
to be paying for everything."
"I'll make sure you
have enough to take care of the basics, Son. I don't mind you finding a
job, but I don't want it interfering with your studies. You can't
afford to lose another year."
"I know, Dad. Storm manages to juggle two jobs, study and his karate. I'm
sure I can get a job and still manage ok."
"Just remember,
studies come first. Even above football. Please, Son. This is my
biggest concern. I don't want you to lose ground on your schoolwork."
"I won't, Dad. I'm doing ok. I promise I'll keep on top of it."
"Good. The car is
transferred into your name now, so at least you'll have your own
transport to get around. You don't have to use Storm's jeep all the
time."
"Thanks, Dad. Listen
you guys, I promise I'll be ok. I won't slack off in my schoolwork and
I'll make sure everything is looked after here."
"Thank you, Son. You
know how your mother will be if she doesn't think you're taking care of
yourself. I don't want to have to put up with her fretting every day."
John said with the wryest smile as he look at Mira.
Mira smiled back at
him and this helped to ease Lucas' mood as well. Seeing his parents
share even a simple moment of unspoken affection made him smile. There
was no denying that he would miss them. He was more uncertain of
staying behind the closer it came to the two of them leaving. Only from
the point of view that he wasn't sure whether he was ready for such a
big responsibility. He knew Storm would be here with him, but his
parents were depending on him to look after himself and everything
here; not Storm. And on a basic level, he was simply going to miss his
parents. Seeing what it was like for his love to lose his mother, he
wanted to spend as much time with his as he could. Their leaving
wouldn't exactly let him fulfil that. And as the minutes ticked away
like seconds, their impending departure continued to play heavily on
his mind.

* * * * * *

I stood at the front
door of what used to be my home. My hand hovered in front of the door,
about to knock. This was the first time I'd been back and it felt weird
because it was the first time in my life that I've ever come back here
and felt like I had to knock. I mean, knock like I'm a guest or
visitor. It's weird.
Abby answered the
front door and caught me by surprise. I wasn't expecting to see her
back so soon. We greeted each other with an awkward smile before she
smacked the top of my head playfully.
"I heard you moved out, you little shit."
"Good to see you too, Sis."
"Why the hell are you
knocking? In a year's time this is going to be your house, you idiot.
Don't do that stupid shit you do like you're a stranger. Everyone else
may buy it, but it just annoys the hell out of me."
"Oh, shut up." I said as I walked in past her. "Why couldn't you be more
like Mom? You're such a ..."
"Go on, Punk. Say it."
"Bitch." I said with a smirk.
"You're not too bad yourself. You know where everything is. Entertain
yourself."
"Are you adopted?" I
said cheekily. "Because you are so nothing like me. That's what happens
when you run off with Dad. You end up a spoilt little princess."
"That's rich coming from you. Spoilt little Mommy's boy."
"Where's my brother?" I asked as I shook my head. "I need to talk to him
before I throw up on you."
"Dad told me why you moved out." Abby said in a suddenly serious tone. "I'm
sorry I didn't have a chance to talk to you before he did. Things have just
been crazy lately."
"That's ok, Sis. But I still hate you."
"So nothing's changed then? You know I'm still your older sister. You have
to do what I tell you."
"In case you forgot,
I don't live here anymore. And if I did, I'd still be the boss. Make
yourself useful and cook me some eggs."
"You want them on your head or down your pants?"
"So you're still a crap cook then?"
"And you're still a smartass."
"All those years of sparring with you, my dear sister. Now where's my
brother already?"
"Which one?"
"The one with the dimples."
"He's not here. I don't know where he is."
"Mike?"
"He's at Sarah's I think. Dade might be there. You guys are having a party
tonight, aren't you?"
"Shit, that's right. I better jet. I'll see you later."
"Hope not."
"You are so not my
sister. I can't believe you share the same genes as me. Dade and I are
more alike than you. Who are you anyway?"
"Your worst nightmare, little brother. Things are gonna be different around
here. I'll be on your ass like mould on cheese."
"You got the mould bit right." I said as I turned to leave again.
"Gimmie a hug, you little bastard."
I gave her a hug at
the doorway. A genuine one. We had a weird relationship, Abby and I. We
hadn't spent much time together since Mom and Dad's divorce. We did
love each other, but we always had this little sparring thing going on
between us. She was Daddy's girl. I was Mommy's boy. We didn't always
get along, but we respected each other. I think.
"I do love you, little brother. Don't be a stranger, ok?"
"I won't."
"Your room is always here whenever you want it back."
"Don't get all serious on me, Sis. You know it weirds me out. Especially
since you know I can't stand you."
"Feeling's mutual, Danny Boy."
"Don't ever call me that. You know I hate that. It's Storm or Daniel. Never
ever Danny boy."
"I love you whatever your name is."
"Love you too, Sis." I said as I broke the hug and kissed her goodbye.
"You could've at least stayed for a hot drink."
"Don't push your luck. I can only take you in small doses." I said with a
grin as I headed back to my jeep.
"Bye, Bro." She said standing at the doorway.
"Later." I yelled back as I pulled out of the driveway.
A strange
relationship we have, my sister and I. With Dade she's not so much of a
smartass, she saves that for me. She tends to dote on him much the way
I do. Or the way I used to. In fact with everyone else she was a
different person. Even with Mike, she was the caring, maternal type.
But with me, it was always different.
It was almost like we
were from two different families. Her from Dad's and me from Mom's. So
whenever we did come together it was like a war of loggerheads over who
really was the top dog in the family. I imagined it was going to be a
lot different around here with her being a full time resident again.
It was strange going
home and being a visitor. Knocking on the front door like I needed
permission to enter. It wasn't my home anymore though. It had a
different feel to it. Like an old restaurant under new management.
Different dynamics, different atmosphere. It really didn't feel like my
home anymore. I missed my home, but I knew that it was gone and would
never return. Because Mom's gone and as much I might wish, she won't be
coming back.
"Shit!" I said to myself as I looked at my watch.
Mira and John would
be leaving for the airport in less than five minutes. I was only two
minutes away from Lucas' but I hoped they hadn't left early. With all
the events of today, I'd completely forgotten that. I knew I had to
sort things out with Dade, but I also had to make sure I kept
supporting Lucas. If it were anything less, I would have carried on
looking for Dade. Lucas deserved me being there though. He'd been so
great lately and on top of that, so have Mira and John. It'd be
completely shitty of me not to say goodbye.
They were already
loading the taxi when I pulled in alongside it. I jumped out over the
passenger side with an anxious knot in my stomach. I should have been
here ages ago. To say I felt like shit was a complete understatement.
Lucas was already
hugging Mira. I sorta just hung back for a little while, letting them
say their goodbyes in peace. John came up to me and greeted me with a
smile.
"I'm glad you made it."
"I'm sorry I'm late, Sir. I didn't mean to be."
"At least you made
it. That's the main thing. It's been a pleasure getting to know you,
Daniel. When I first met you, I liked you a lot. But over the last two
years and lately especially, I can say I respect you just as much.
You've become a very respectable young man."
"Thank you, Sir." I said with a nod. "And thank you for letting me stay."
"You two just take
care of the house and each other. And don't forget to call us if you
need anything. We'll always be here to help." John said as he extended
his hand to me.
"Thank you, Sir."
"I appreciate your respect, but when do you intend to start calling me
John?" He said with a wry smile.
"When you don't intimidate me anymore." I replied with a smile of my own.
"It's been a pleasure, Daniel. Look after yourself."
I nodded back with a
smile as we ended our handshake and he went to say one last goodbye to
Lucas. Mira was next to say goodbye. I'd always known her to be a hard
woman when she had to be, but also an extremely emotional one. I
suppose that's where Lucas gets a lot of his heart on his sleeve
character from. She already had tears in her eyes from saying goodbye
to Lucas and now as she stood before me, more began to flow.
"I'm sorry I was late." I said as she kissed my cheek and hugged me
emphatically.
"You're here now. I'm so glad. I wanted to see you before we left."
"Thank you for
everything, Mira. I mean that from the bottom of my heart." I said as I
squeezed her as much as she did me. "Thank you."
"You take care of my
son for me. And make sure he takes care of you too. I'll be calling
every week so make sure you're both behaving."
"Sure." I said with a small smile. "I'll make sure."
"You're not my son,
Daniel, but I am so proud of you. You're part of our family now. Don't
you two screw anything up or I'll fly back here and you'll both be
sorry." She said with a mock look of intimidation on her face.
I couldn't help but laugh at that. "Don't worry, we'll be fine."
"Bye for now, Daniel. I love you." Mira said as she held my face in her
hands. "Thank you."
"Love you too." I said sincerely as she kissed me again and returned to
Lucas.
I have to admit, I shed a few tears then. I'd really become fond of Mira. I
knew she wasn't Mom and she did too, but she still had such a maternal
nature towards me. I wasn't lying when I told her I loved her. Who'd have
ever thought?
I felt a pang in my
heart watching Lucas say his last goodbye to Mira though. Not
surprisingly his face was awash with tears as his mother told him
everything would be ok. I know he wanted to stay, but I think he also
wanted to spend more time with his parents before he did venture out on
his own. Things had been so good for his family lately, he just wanted
to revel in it for a bit longer. I just hoped he didn't come to regret
staying.
He stood there like a
little child as Mira wiped the tears from his face. They hugged one
last time before she left him to enter the taxi. I knew he was hurting
right now, but it wasn't time yet to comfort him. I wanted to let him
finish saying goodbye on his own first. We both stood on either sides
of the taxi as it pulled out with a beep. Mira turned and blew both of
us a kiss. We both waved back, but I could tell Lucas was just waiting
for them to leave before he really started crying.
I was right. The taxi
was gone and so were Mira and John. I'd miss them, but not as much as
Lucas would. He stood there with his hands in his pockets staring
blankly at the last place we'd seen the taxi. His chest heaved as he
tried to hold back his own sobs.
I got the feeling he
was angry at me for being late and not having dinner with them before
they left. I admit, that was just totally rude of me. But I didn't mean
to do it. It's just been a hell day.
We both stood there
for a good five minutes after they'd gone. Lucas rubbing his arms and
looking longingly in the direction they'd left. I knew he felt alone
right now. He had me, but I was still no substitute for his own family.
No matter what had happened between them, they were still his family
and just them being around was support for him. Now he was alone.
I had to do my best
to let him know that he wasn't alone. That I was here for him. I
stepped toward him and placed my hand on his shoulder. I didn't want to
hold him in case he was still angry at me, but I did want him to know I
was here if he wanted me.
He looked me in the
eye for the first time since they'd left. The look on his face was
almost an `I don't care' look. Like `whatever' is all he felt. It
wasn't anger, it was just ... blase. He turned and headed back into the
house with me following behind like someone who knew they were in the
shit.
"I'm sorry I was late." I said sincerely as we both entered the kitchen.
"I don't care, Storm. I don't want to talk about it." Lucas said as he
pulled a can of beer from the fridge and cracked it open.
He knew I hated that.
I know he likes to drink now and then, in stark contrast to me who
never drinks. Mainly because I can't, but even if I could, I wouldn't.
He took a large swig from the can and leaned against the fridge.
"I'm sorry, I really am."
"What was so
important? You embarrassed me. How important do you think my parents
felt when you couldn't even show up to say goodbye to them? It was
disrespectful, Storm. You knew we were supposed to have dinner before
they left. How do you think I feel? I'm supposed to be important to
you. I've supported you and I really needed you to be here for me
tonight. It doesn't make me feel very important right now." Lucas said
with a sigh as he finished off the can and threw it in the recycle bin.
"Please, Lucas. Just let me explain."
"I don't want to hear
it, Storm. I'm going to Sarah's. I wouldn't want her to think I don't
care." He said with barely an effort to hide the spite in his voice as
he spoke. "You feel free to come over whenever you're ready."
And with that he
threw on his coat and headed out. I wanted to stop him but I knew the
best thing for us right now would be time. I'd see him over at Sarah's.
And I still had to talk to Dade. Some days are just there to make life
interesting, aye?

* * * * * *

Sarah's house was
alive with activity. Music filled the house with a steady vibe of pop
and house techno. People dancing, chatting, drinking and generally
having a good time. All except one person who stood out from the crowd.
In so much as he was the only person in the room who spoke to no one.
Who drank alone. Danced only with his own thoughts. Brad.
Brad felt incredibly
uncomfortable and out of place here. He didn't want to come but Sarah
had surprised him with an invitation. He knew he was on good terms with
most of the pack now, but he didn't expect this. His wrist was still in
a cast which made him feel as stupid as he thought he looked. He used
to eat parties like this up when he was a jock in his prime. Now he
just felt like a fish completely out of water.
He'd come here only
out of respect to Sarah, but right now he really didn't want to be
here. He still felt like the school loser. Surrounded by people who
only knew the old Brad and remembered him for what he used to be. The
school bully. That was a lifetime ago for Brad, but obviously it still
lingered in people's memories.
Sitting on a large
lounge suite with people on either side of him he'd never felt so
alone. So many people around, yet it seemed as though he may as well
have not been there. He didn't exist except for when someone would
accidentally bump into him. Then he was greeted with a grunt or a look
of `what's he doing here?'.
He held onto his
drink as if it were the only thing distracting him from the knots in
his stomach. Hoping that enough time would pass so he could slip away
quietly. Enough time to say that he came at least. Even if Storm was
here, he didn't think it would make much difference. He wanted to be
Storm's friend, but he still felt as if he were really just an
afterthought or someone Storm felt sorry for. Mike and Sarah were
always genuinely nice to him, but he still felt as though he didn't
really have any true friends. Right now that fact was frighteningly
evident.
And just like he'd
done at June's funeral, he decided to leave without saying anything. He
left his card and flowers for Sarah where everyone else had placed
theirs so she'd at least know he came. As he headed out the door to
begin the lonely walk home, he turned back one last time. So often he
thought his fall from grace was over, but it was moments like Marty
Lee's attack and this moment right now when he believed that it still
wasn't over for him. He would always be an outsider, no matter how much
he tried to fit in or make amends. It just wasn't meant to be.

* * * * * *

"Lucas!" Sarah yelled excitedly as Lucas entered the already bustling party
area. "You made it!"
"Hey, Buddy." Lucas smiled back as he handed Sarah a bouquet of
flowers. "For the lady of the hour."
"Man, I'm just getting spoilt today."
"You look great, Sarah. How are you handling everything?"
"My spirits are high. That makes a lot of difference. I'm doing ok. How
about you? Did your parents get away ok?"
"They did."
"You doing ok?" Sarah asked with her usual maternal concern.
"I'm ok." Lucas feigned. "I'll be fine. Don't worry."
"Where's Storm? I need to talk to him."
"I'm sure he'll be here when he's ready." Lucas said trying not to sound
bitter as he spoke.
"Then you'll just
have to make do with me until he gets here." Sarah said as she took
Lucas' hand and led him to the drinks table. "What'll you have?"
"Something bad. I could do with it."
Sarah handed Lucas a
drink before they sat down in a quiet area of the deck outside. She
slipped her arm under Lucas' and let her head rest on his shoulder as
they looked out over the lake. The loud music served as a constant
reminder that they weren't alone. It didn't seem to bother Sarah though
who was making the most of her time with Lucas.
"You know, Lucas. When you first came here I didn't know what to make of
you. That was so long ago."
"And now?"
"And now ..." Sarah
sighed with a tinge of emotion laced into her voice. "You're family. I
love you. Thank you for being in my life."
"Dude, you're not giving up on me. Are you? Is something wrong?" Lucas
asked anxiously.
"You've always been a
good friend to me, Lucas. We've had our ups and downs, but there have
been times when you've stood by me and I'll never forget that."
"Sarah, you're starting to freak me out."
"Mike and I are leaving Merlow."
"You're what?"
"Merlow just doesn't
have what I need to get better. The longer I wait, the more I risk. So
we're going to the big smoke so I can start on that lovely chemotherapy
and get some proper treatment. We wanted to tell everyone together, but
I've already told Dade. Mike's told Marcel. And I wanted to tell you."
Sarah said with tears in her eyes. "I know Mike's having a hard time
with this. He won't let me leave without him. We're getting married
before we leave because I want my family and the people I love around
us. And I want to have all my hair. I'm not being pessimistic, I'm just
being realistic. But you know, if I don't make it then I want my last
day here in Merlow to be the greatest day of my life."
"Dude ..." Lucas said still stunned by Sarah's news. "I ... oh ... man ..."
"I just wanted to
spend some time with you. We'll still be here for a couple more weeks.
Hopefully long enough to see out the school year for Mike. It'll be ok."
"Dude ..." Lucas
cried softly as he shuddered with the overwhelming effect that Sarah's
news had on him. "You're part of the scenery. You two have been here as
long as Storm has. I ... I don't know what to say."
"Then don't say anything. Just sit here with me." Sarah sobbed silently.
"Just be with me."

* * * * * *

Marcel entered the
party zone with a surprised look on his face. He sure hadn't expected
so many people to be here. But it was all for Sarah and that was the
main thing. It was good to see that she had more support than just the
usual. His eyes scanned the room for any sign of the pack, but he
couldn't see any of them.
"Snoogums!" Mike yelled as he grabbed Marcel from behind and gave him a
bear hug. "What took you so long?"
"Sorry, Bud. Had some things to take care of. Where's Sarah?"
"I'm not sure. She's
around here somewhere." Mike said as he hung his arm around Marcel's
shoulder. "How you doing? You doing ok?"
"I'm doing great." Marcel said with a huge smile. "Really great. How about
you? Good turnout."
"So many people have been calling to see how Sarah was doing that she ended
up inviting them all. It's great."
"Do you think we could find Sarah? I have something I want to give both of
you. Away from this mob if we can."
"You do?" Mike asked with intrigue. "Me too?"
"I said for both of you, didn't I?"
"That's what I
thought you said, Hot Stuff. Do you wanna go up to Sarah's room? I'll
go and find her so we can have some peace and quiet."
"Sure." Marcel smiled as Mike made his way through the crowd of partygoers.
Marcel began pushing
his way through the crowd. He did the obligatory smiles and nods along
the way. Even though he hadn't been back that long, he was still fairly
popular in Merlow High ranks. Somehow though, he found it didn't mean
as much to him as it used to. Perhaps because he was older. Perhaps
because so much had changed since he was last in Merlow on a full time
basis. It just wasn't important to him anymore.
"Marcel!" Josh yelled over the blaring music.
"Barrett!" Marcel responded with a smile. "How ya doing?"
"Good thanks. You just get here?" Josh asked as he leant his head so the
two could hear each other better.
"Yeah. What about you?"
"Mike asked me at training if I wanted to come. I wasn't sure if I should,
but he insisted."
"And you should be here!" Marcel yelled back as the music kicked up a tempo
and so did the volume.
Marcel pulled Josh by
the arm so they were standing in the hallway. They could hear each
other here without having to yell. Josh was still one of the most
square in nature guys that Marcel knew, but he liked him. The two
actually shared a lot in common. Josh still had a ways to go to come
out of his shell but he shared much of the same sense of duty and
integrity that Marcel believed in. One thing that had definitely
changed with Josh though was his fashion sense. Much of it inherited
from Dade, which was obvious to Marcel. He was already an attractive
guy with his somewhat naive and straight attitude, but when he dressed
to impress with Dade's fashion sense, he was hard to miss. Something
Marcel never really noticed when he last lived in Merlow.
Josh was a jock in
stature, but not by nature. Still though, being a first string player
and Mike's third hand man meant Josh had to keep himself on top of his
game. That meant he kept himself in great shape. The weird thing about
Josh is he never flaunted his body. Something Marcel found appealing.
Although his wardrobe tonight seemed to take advantage of his physique
a lot more than usual.
"Anyone ever told you you're pretty hot, Josh?" Marcel said with a
grin. "Just an observation. I'm not hitting on you."
"Uhh thanks." Josh
said with a characteristic blush of modesty. "That's a pretty big
compliment coming from you. I used to have a huge crush on you before
you left. Just a crush. But it's nice to have someone you admire so
much pay you a nice compliment."
"You're too much, Josh. Thanks."
"You still have a fan
club at school. All girls, but I'm sure a couple of guys would like to
join." Josh grinned. "I wish I were more like you. You're so cool. So
in control of yourself. I've always thought so, but I really think so
now. And you're really ... uhh ... well ... "
"What?"
"You're really hot." Josh said red faced. "You've got a really nice body. I
don't believe I said that."
"Have you been drinking, Josh?" Marcel asked with a questioning
smile. "You're not usually so bold. Or are you?"
"Uhh ... well ... I think someone spiked the punch. But I'm enjoying the
party too. I'm just having a good time."
"Good. So have you seen any guys that take your fancy?"
"Uhh ... well ...
seen yeah. But that's all I'll be doing tonight. I'm gonna be flying
single for a while. Probably a long while. It's ok though."
"Well, it's some guy's loss. I'm glad you're having a good time, Josh. It's
good to see you enjoying yourself."
"Listen, Marcel. I
really wanted to thank you. The other day ... you really helped me. I
wish there was something I could do for you in return."
"Enjoy the rest of
tonight and we'll call it even." Marcel smiled as he patted Josh on the
shoulder. "That's all I want from you."
"Thanks, Marcel."
"Have you spoken to Claire yet? Are you guys cool now?"
"No. I'm just giving her space. Besides ... she seems ... busy." Josh said
as he motioned towards the dance area.
Marcel didn't spot
her at first but when he did, his face dropped his smile like an anvil.
What he saw hit him more than he imagined. His heart began racing and
he felt a lump in his throat. All his attention was on Claire and more
especially, the person she was dancing with. Dade. It wasn't the fact
they were dancing. They were old friends and he expected it. It was the
body language that set him off. Hands where they shouldn't be. A
closeness that shouldn't be. And most of all ... a kiss that shouldn't
be.
The moment he saw
their lips touch, his body shuddered. His eyes were transfixed on the
two of them. He could hear his own heart beating so hard and fast he
thought his chest would explode. He was overcome by a sense of loss and
sadness so intense, he could barely hide the emotion on his face. But
as typical of him, he did it in true Marcel fashion.

* * * * * *

Dade sucked gently on
Claire's bottom lip as they ended their kiss. Their hands resting on
the small of each other's back as they held each other in a close,
steady dance. Claire's eyes were fixed on Dade's as if she was lost in
them. He smiled back at her sincerely as the outside world came
flooding back in around them.
"I don't know how you do it, but ..." Claire said a little breathlessly.
"You're incredible."
"Thanks." Dade said with a small grin. "You look a little hot, do you want
a drink?"
"Please."
"Be right back. Don't go anywhere." Dade said with a smile as he left her
side and headed towards the drinks table.
As soon as he'd
turned, his eyes met that of the one person he didn't want to right
now. Marcel. There were a dozen people between them, but it was as if
there was no one else in sight. It was the first time ever that Dade
had seen Marcel looking so vulnerable and hurt. It was never Dade's
intention to hurt Marcel, but he'd obviously seen the kiss with Claire.
Dade was only trying to move on after being rejected, but it was so
plain to see now that Marcel still had feelings for him that were
stronger than he had admitted.
For what seemed like
an eternity, Marcel's defeated eyes stared back at Dade. Dade felt a
flood of guilt rush over him, but seemed as stunned as Marcel was right
now. Neither one of them moved. People would mill about between them,
but their eyes never wavered until finally Marcel seemed to have
composed himself. He feigned the tiniest of smiles at Dade and nodded
in acknowledgment before he disappeared into the crowd.
"Hey, where's my drink?" Claire asked with a smile as she tapped Dade on
the back.
"Oh, Claire. Sorry." Dade said still rather distracted. "What kind of drink
did you want again?"
"I didn't say. I'll have whatever you're having."
"Ok." Dade replied despondently. "I'll be right back."
"Hey, you ok?" Claire asked with concern as she turned Dade around to face
her.
"I'm fine." Dade said using all his resolve to give a smile that didn't
look completely artificial. "How about you?"
"Yeah ..." Claire said with a rather despondent sigh of her own. "This
still feels kinda weird. You sure you want this?"
"Do you?"
"I don't know. I
guess I still wish Josh woke up and realized he wants me, but I don't
think that's ever going to happen. I never expected this with you
though. It feels weird."
"Because we're friends?"
"And because we both still want people we can't have."
"You're right. But this is where we're at. Let's just try and enjoy
ourselves."
"We're forcing
something that isn't there, Dade. I think we both know that. I may be
lonely and desperate, but I'm not stupid. And neither are you. We're
just trying to make each other feel better, but I can tell by the look
on your face that it isn't working."
"For you either." Dade said as he motioned to Claire's own face.
"You're a great guy, Dade." Claire said with a genuine smile. "But you're
not mine."
"I can be. If you
give me long enough. And I'll never reject you the way Josh did. And
you won't reject me either. We can be good for each other, Claire. Just
give us a bit longer and you'll see."
"Us? Never thought
I'd hear that. Ok, Dade. We'll give it a bit longer. But if I end up
falling for you and you hurt me the way Josh did ..."
"I promise, Claire. Even if Marcel came up and told me he still loved me, I
wouldn't go back. I won't hurt you. I promise."
"Let's just hope if
he does still love you, he tells you soon. Because when I do end up
falling for you, I'm not letting go. Not this time. So if you really
want us to do this, you make certain that it's over between you two."
"It's over." Dade said flatly. "It's over."

* * * * * *

Marcel sat on Sarah's
bed lost in a daze of thought and anxiety. Even now the knots in his
stomach were so potent he thought he would keel over. He felt as if
someone had ripped his heart out and stomped on it. He blamed himself
for Dade moving on without him. He'd pushed Dade away. He hadn't told
him why.
He couldn't help
feeling as though he'd brought all of this on himself. That he was to
blame. That Dade was actually better off without him. That he'd do
nothing but stand aside and let him. It took all his might to stop
himself from setting off with tears. And even though he had no tears,
his eyes betrayed a pain worse than tears could ever show.
"Blondie?"
Marcel's funk was
broken by Sarah's presence. Both her and Mike stood before him with
concern on their faces. He pushed his pain aside as he always did and
forced a small smile. The best he could do without coming across
completely fake.
"You ok, Babe?" Sarah asked sympathetically as she and Mike sat either side
of him.
"Yeah. Just thinking." Marcel said with a smile. "Great party."
"You sure you're ok, Snoogums?" Mike asked as he rested his arm on Marcel's
shoulder.
"I ... no. I'm not
ok. No sense lying to two people who can see right through me. I just
have a lot on my mind. But I have something I wanted to give both of
you. That's why I wanted to speak to you in private."
"That can wait." Mike said with concern laced in his voice. "What's wrong?"
"I'd rather not ..."
"I would." Sarah said with a warm smile.
"It's Dade."
"Oh ..." Mike said with a knowing nod. "Thought so."
"It's my fault. I
wasn't ready before. I should've told him. Now when I've just about
sorted myself out ... he's moved on. And it's all my own fault. I
pushed him away when he came to me. I deserve all of this. I just ...
didn't expect it to hurt this much."
"So tell him now.
He'll understand. He'll wish you had told him before, but he'll
understand. You know the two of them are just together because they
think nobody else will have them."
"No. I've hurt him
enough. Maybe I'm fooling myself to think I'm ready anyway. He's better
off. I just have to get on with it. I'll be ok. I will."
"Who are you trying to convince? Us or you?"
Marcel didn't respond
to Mike's comment. He knew Mike was right. He couldn't fool them so he
was trying to fool himself. The noble side of himself kept saying that
he was doing the right thing by leaving Dade be. That he'd messed him
up enough. That he had to let him go.
"Just remember, Marcel. We love you." Sarah said as she gave Marcel a
lingering kiss on the cheek. "More than you think."
"We're family. Remember?" Mike said with a smile. "We're the adopted ones."
"He's right." Sarah said emotionally. "I know you sometimes think we don't
appreciate you, but we do. We both love you to bits."
"Man ... you two are the greatest." Marcel said with tears in his eyes as
he smiled at them.
"We're glad you came
home. Don't ever go through something like that on your own again. No
matter where we are, we'll always be here for you." Sarah choked on her
words as she spoke, her eyes turning away from Marcel suddenly.
"What is it, Sarah?"
"Nothing."
"Come on, I spilt it out. Now it's your turn."
Marcel noticed now
that both were silent. And neither seemed to be in a hurry to speak.
Sitting in between the two of them didn't exactly make him feel as
though he could pressure them either. Not that he wanted to. If they
wanted to talk, they would. All he could do was sit and wait for one of
them to say something.
"Sarah has to leave
Merlow to get treatment. And I'm going with her." Mike said finally.
"We knew when she was in hospital that it might have to happen.
Connie's already making the arrangements."
"Wow." Marcel said in surprise.
Once again the
bedroom was filled with silence. What was more concerning to Marcel was
that neither Mike nor Sarah were looking at each other. Both seemed too
consumed with their own thoughts and both were looking pretty
depressed. Whatever they were thinking, it was obvious from their body
language that their thoughts weren't in sync.
"Just so you know,
I'm ok with whatever you have to do." Marcel said in an attempt to
shake the two from their funk. "I can tell this is harder on you two
than it'll ever be for me. I mean I've left already so I know what it's
like to leave. But it's different for you guys because you've been here
in Merlow your whole lives. You're doing it for the best reason. We'll
all support you no matter where you are. And you can guarantee I'll be
a frequent visitor."
"I don't think it'll
be so easy for the others to just come whenever they want." Sarah said
as she wiped tears from her eyes. "They don't have what you have,
Marcel. Maybe Storm could. He's always been good with his money and
June's taken care of them, but still ... it won't be the same. And I
wouldn't want them to put themselves out for us."
"So I'll bring them with me when I visit. That's not the problem here. You
guys don't want to leave. That's the problem."
"No." Sarah cried softly. "This is my home. And I just hate it that Mike
has to leave because of me."
"We've talked about this Sarah." Mike said with the slightest hint of
annoyance in his voice.
"I know, Baby. But it
doesn't change how I feel. I feel terrible. I don't want to leave my
only home. My family. This town. It's been my whole life. It's your
life too. You shouldn't have to give it up."
"No, Sarah. You're my life. That's why I'm coming with you. I thought we'd
talked about this."
"You're right, Mike.
We did talk about this. And I know you love me and you want to be with
me, but don't act like you're ok with all of this. I know you don't
want to leave. I know you're having a hard time with this. You've
worked so hard to get where you are. All your football achievements.
Your schooling. All the work you've put in to make it where you are.
Your family. Storm and Dade. Especially now after June's death. I want
you with me, but ... I don't want you to have to throw away everything
you have here for me. You've worked too hard."
"Damnit, Sarah. I
don't know how many times I can say it to you. How many times do we
have to go through this?" Mike said with frustrated tears. "I'm sorry,
Marcel. I need to get out of here."
Marcel and Sarah were
left alone in her room. Marcel turned to Sarah to see that her eyes
were downcast and hollow. Apparently this was still somewhat of a sore
point in their relationship. Marcel could certainly understand why. He
knew Mike would never leave Sarah's side at a time like this and even
more so with their impending wedding.
"I didn't even get to give you guys my gift." Marcel smiled in an attempt
to lighten the mood.
"Sorry, Baby. I guess as you can see that we still haven't come to grips
with everything just yet."
"I'm not worried.
Sure you guys have a few issues, but I think you're both mostly just
hurting. This has all been completely unfair to both of you. You
getting sick. June dying. Having to go to the big city for better
treatment. It's all understandable. But one thing I don't see a problem
with and that's the love you guys have. It's as strong as ever. But
you're both trying to do the right thing by each other instead of for
each other. Nothing will make all this hurt go away except time. You
two make me so happy. I don't know if you realize it, but you guys are
the best of us. You have the sturdiest relationship. The best support.
It's incredible. I could only dream of the same thing."
"You can still have it."
"I'm not trying to
give you relationship advice because I'm a complete failure at that.
But I know you guys. So you have to leave. The sooner you go, the
sooner you can come back."
"Hopefully."
"Don't even go there, Sarah. You'll come back. I know you will."
"I still wish Mike
wasn't coming. I love him. He means everything to me. He's my man and I
want to be with him for ever. But I just feel so crap taking him away
from everything he knows and loves. This is his home." Sarah cried as
she rubbed her eyes. "It's not fair. None of this. It's not fair."
"You're right. It isn't fair."
"I never wanted to be
sick. I never wanted June to die. She died coming to help me, I'll
never ever forget that. I never wanted to have to leave this place. Not
now when I know you guys need me. I hate all of this. It's just so
unfair." Sarah cried as she fell on Marcel's shoulder. "My poor baby.
He does everything for me and he's willing to give up everything he's
worked for just to be with me. It's just so wrong. I don't want to do
it to him, Marcel. I don't want him to come."
"Geez." Marcel said
with tears in his own eyes just from feeling the hurt both Sarah and
Mike were going through. "I don't know what to say. I'm just ...
stunned."
"I don't want him to
come. That's the selfless part of me. But the selfish part of me is
absolutely petrified of leaving without him. For whatever time I have
left on this planet, be it a year or fifty years, I want him with me. I
just don't know what to do. I love him so much it hurts."
"And so I ask, what's
the problem exactly? You guys love each other too much. Geez, now
there's a problem." Marcel said sarcastically. "Listen to me when I say
this. More than anyone I know, even Storm and Lucas or anyone else. You
and Mike are meant to be together. You'd both survive without each
other, but you wouldn't live. You think it's not fair to take him away
from here?"
"I do."
"I think it's not
fair to leave him behind. He lives for you. You must know that. That's
why you're getting married. You guys don't have a problem, Sarah. And
if you do it's because you're trying to hard to do right by each other.
And as far as I'm concerned, I'd kill to have the love that you have."
"Is it Dade for you? Is it really him?"
"I wouldn't feel so
crap if he wasn't. I love him, Sarah. I love him like crazy and I never
even told him. He came to me and I couldn't give him what he wanted. I
just wasn't ready. Then I talked to Storm and I finally felt as though
I was making progress. After I had spoken to you, Mike and Storm, I
finally felt ready to move on. But I should've told Dade when I had the
chance."
"It's not too late."
"I think it is. Things are changing around here so fast and I ..."
"You what?"
"I don't know where I
fit in anymore. When you guys leave ... June's gone now. You guys are
leaving. Storm is living with Lucas now. Dade's ... not mine. I don't
know, Sarah. I said I'd stay around until I knew you were better. And I
wanted to make sure Storm and Dade were ok. They will be. Maybe it's
time to start thinking about what I'm going to do with the rest of my
own life."
"You can't go back to
Drake. Even if you wanted to, your leg isn't up to it. And even if it
was, I don't want you going back there. Not even for studies until
you've healed up. See now, this is when I wish I didn't have to go. You
still need me."
"I'm sorry, I
shouldn't have said anything. I don't want you worrying about me. Don't
worry, I'll be fine. You just make sure you get better. I'll fly in
whenever I can to make sure you're doing ok."
"Promise?"
"Swear it."
"Listen, June's not
here anymore, but Storm is. You should talk to him. Tell him how you
feel. I know any advice he gives you will be as good as anything I can
give you. He's a lot wiser these days."
"He is."
"You're not alone, Marcel." Sarah said with watery eyes as she held his
face. "You really aren't. Please remember that."
"Thank you." Marcel
said as he gave Sarah a hug. "I love you, Sarah. No matter where either
of us are, you'll always be my family. You and Mike. For the rest of my
life."
"Aww, Blondie." Sarah cried as she smiled. "You're such a legend. Forget
the rest, Marcel really is the best."

* * * * * *

Lucas leant over
Sarah's top deck to get a bit of much needed fresh air. Storm still
hadn't shown and he wondered what was going on in his head to keep him
away so long. As typical of Lucas, his anger had mostly dissipated now.
He'd never been one to hold onto anger and usually with Storm, once the
anger had passed, he just wanted his baby around again.
"You really have changed, Baby." Lucas said to himself as he looked at the
ring on his finger.
It seemed like so
long ago now that he'd given the necklace to Storm that matched his own
ring. A lifetime ago. So much had changed since then. He would often
smile at himself thinking how some of the things he did back then were
so childish. So immature and innocent. Now he was really starting to
feel older. His view on things had jaded over time and he wasn't so doe
eyed or naive. His love for his mate was tempered with a lot more
realism these days. A bit too much he thought. They weren't just two
teenagers in love. They'd passed that point a long time ago. They were
actually a couple now and with all that came so much more than Lucas
ever anticipated but always wanted.
They were more
settled now than they'd ever been in the past. Lucas knew he'd done
some growing up of his own, but it was so much more obvious in his
love. He wasn't so temperamental or fiery. Didn't jump to the nearest
exit every time something wasn't going right. Even through such trying
times lately he'd impressed Lucas more than he let on with his maturity
and control. It actually made Lucas smile now thinking about some of
the stupid arguments they'd got into in the past. Storm would overreact
or throw a tantrum, Lucas would pout and pine and then they'd both cry.
These days Lucas was more likely to throw a tantrum and Storm was more
likely to shut up and take it. Just like tonight.
"I was just hurt, Baby. That's all." Lucas said to himself with a
smile. "But I still love you." 
In the past, Lucas
would be worrying right now about how Storm would be reacting to their
argument. That he'd be doing something stupid like packing his bags.
But now it didn't even cross Lucas' mind. It didn't feel as though
Lucas had to keep his mouth shut just because he was afraid of how
Storm would react. Lucas knew that his mate would probably be feeling
bad right now and giving Lucas a bit of time to calm down.
It was during this
moment of reflection that Lucas heard the faintest of cries. The music
had stopped between a track change and Lucas had just caught the
quietest of sobs. Barely audible coming from the back of Sarah's house
down towards the beach.
With a sudden look of
concern on his face, Lucas rushed down the deck stairs to Sarah's
backyard. Once he made it to the gate of Sarah's backyard he couldn't
hear anything anymore. But he already had an idea of where he had to
go. A little clearing hidden under some trees on the way down to the
lakeside behind Sarah's house. It wasn't visible from Sarah's house
back up the hill, which was the whole point. The spot had once been one
of Storm and Sarah's make out spots and eventually Mike and Sarah's.
When he reached the
clearing he found Mike sitting alone with his knees huddled to his
chest. His eyes seemed lost and vacant. His gaze a lonely and
distraught one. Lucas already had an idea of what was bothering Mike as
he slowly walked towards him.
"Dude." Lucas spoke anxiously as he approached Mike. "Are you ok?"
"Lucas." Mike responded quickly as he popped his head up.
It was obvious that
he'd been crying. And that he'd come down here for a bit of alone time.
Right now all the moments the two had shared together came flooding
into Lucas' mind. He couldn't help being overwhelmed himself as Mike
feigned a smile back at him.
"Dude." Lucas said anxiously, pangs of sorrow running through his voice.
"Are you ok?"  
"Not really." Mike said with the smallest brave smile.
"Come here."
Lucas stepped as the
two shared a hug that only served to enhance the pain both were
feeling. Lucas for feeling as though he was losing two people he'd come
to expect to always be around. Two people he'd come to love
unwaveringly. Mike in particular had been Lucas' friend from the start.
He'd supported him through so many of his own hard times. Only now did
Lucas realize just how much he'd miss that support. And more
importantly the person who gave it. The underappreciated and eternally
supportive Mike Mitchell, who had only recently become a legal Marcus.
"Dude, I can't believe it." Lucas cried as he held Mike in his
arms. "You're leaving us." 
Mike didn't say a
word. He just held on and let Lucas support him for once. He let
himself release all the conflicting emotions he held inside.
"Are you gonna be ok?" Lucas asked with genuine concern.
"I will. I just
needed some time on my own. I might look like I'm doing ok on the
outside, but it's hurt so much lately. Sarah being sick. Mom dying. And
now leaving the only place I've ever known. I've lived in this town my
whole life. My whole life is in this town. My friends. My family. I
love Sarah and I'll go wherever I have to with her. But it doesn't mean
it'll be easy for me. It all just hurts so much right now. I wish Mom
were here. It's like we're all having to grow up so fast now. So much
changing since she died."
"I'm still blown away
by the whole thing. I always thought I'd have more chance of leaving
before you guys. It's going to be so ... wrong without you here."
"Yeah, like now who are you gonna kiss besides Storm? Or sleep with?" Mike
said in a feeble attempt to lighten the mood. 
"I love you man."
Lucas gulped as he kissed Mike's cheek anxiously and held him again.
"You're the closest thing I've ever had to a brother. I'm gonna miss
you so much. I really am."
"Thank you." Mike
said rushing to wipe his eyes. "I better get my act together. No doubt
my future wife will be down here soon looking for me. This isn't a very
manly look."
The two both laughed
at that comment. Lucas didn't seem keen to let Mike go though. He
really did mean a lot to Lucas. So many conversations the two shared.
So many good and bad times. Mike rarely had a bad word to say and if he
did, you usually deserved it. He was always there. And very soon ... he
wouldn't be.

* * * * * *

I entered Sarah's
house with two things on my mind. One to talk to Dade. The other to
Lucas. Whoever I'd bump into first, I'd speak to. Maybe after talking
to both of them I could actually enjoy myself.
The party was already
in full swing and I was positive Dade would be here. I moved through
the crowd and did the obligatory hello nods and smiles. I always hate
that about these things. Especially when I don't really feel like
smiling. I feel anxious more than anything else.
All I wanted to see
was a familiar face. One of my own. But I couldn't. I headed to the
drinks table with a sigh and found the nearest drink that didn't
contain alcohol. So tempting. I wondered whether enough time had passed
for me to risk having alcohol without damaging my stomach. Things
lately had been so crap that I wished I were an alcoholic or someone
who used other devices to drown their sorrows. I know Mom would smoke
on the very rare occasion that she was stressed or worried. Like when I
was in hospital. Thinking about her just made me want to say fuck it
and just skull down a drink.
"I think you want this one." Dade said handing me a can of diet
coke. "Someone spiked the punch. This is safe." 
"Thank you." I said smiling at Dade's concern.
One thing I always
used to love about my brother, he seemed to have this thing inside him
that made him want to look after me. Almost maternal. I used to think
he was so wise. Things had changed since then but it was sweet to know
he was still concerned enough about me to do something like this. Only
a little thing but it meant a lot to me.
"I was hoping you'd come." Dade said nervously as his eyes scanned mine.
I was just about to
respond when Claire approach Dade. She didn't notice me at first and I
smiled instinctively until I noticed the body language as she slipped
her arm around Dade's waist.
"I'm gonna head
home." Claire said with a smile before she realized I was standing
there. "Oh ... hi, Storm. What took you so long?"
"Had a few things to take care of." I responded with a somewhat uncertain
smile. "Going home already?" 
"Yeah ... I'm a bit tired and I think I've had my share of partying."
"That's a shame, Claire. Never known you to pike out early."
"It's been an eventful day." Claire said with wide, twinkling eyes.
"Sure has." I said
with a smile as I shook my head. "And the night is still young. I wish
I could be like you and head home too."
"Well, I'll leave you
two to it. Good to see you smiling, Storm." Claire said as she
surprised me with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Hope all is well with
you."
"Thanks." I said very surprised but genuinely grateful for her gesture.
"You just made my day."  
"You're welcome, Storm." Claire said with a smile as she turned her eyes to
Dade. "I'll ... see you later too, Dade." 
"Sure." Dade said with uncertainty as Claire was about to walk away.
One thing I will say
about Claire. She handles herself with such grace that it's hard not to
like her. I've always been fond of her, but she was seriously growing
on me lately. Without making too much of a noise, she supported you
when she didn't have to. And there's always a sincerity in the way she
speaks to you. She's not brash like Sarah, but rather ... an iron fist
in a velvet glove would be the best description. Even now when I know
there's something off between these two, she just handled herself
brilliantly. The one who seemed tense was actually Dade. I had the
feeling that there was something going on between them, but Dade seemed
to be reluctant to show it.
At least until Claire
was about to walk away. He put his hand on her shoulder and turned her
so he could place the slightest of kisses on her lips. Bingo. I was
right. A rather stunned Claire reacted by giving me an awkward look,
but I quickly eased her anxiety with a nod and a smile. She feigned a
smile back before she left through the crowd and Dade turned his
attention back to me. He brushed his hand through his hair and took a
deep breath as he faced me again. He gulped nervously and waited for me
to say something. I stared back at him for a moment, just studying his
demeanor before I put him out of his misery.
"That was good, Dade."
"Huh?" He said in surprise, raising an eyebrow as only Dade could.
"You just showed some
form, Buddy. I know you were nervous about me finding out, but you
can't leave a girl hanging like that. Or a guy for that matter. It
doesn't make them feel very special. You're with her so she has to be
your first thought now. Not what I'm going to think. Good form."
"And ... what do you think?"
"I like Claire, Dade. And I'm not going to say anything that would insult
her. So I'm going to shut up." 
"Storm ... you don't understand. I just ..."
"There's a lot I
don't understand about you, Dade. I don't really know you as well as I
thought I did. This is just the latest example of how little I know
you. I didn't think you'd give up so easy. You don't love her. But
you're with her. I don't remember knowing a Dade that would go out with
someone when he's in love with someone else. Do you really think that's
fair?"
"You don't understand." Dade said emphatically with frustration in his
voice as he held his hand to his forehead. 
"You're right. I
don't. I came here because I wanted to apologize for reacting ... or
not reacting to you the way I did. I'm sorry."
"Why do I get the feeling that's not going to make me feel better?" Dade
said with a sigh. "I can feel the `but' bit coming." 
"I'm disappointed.
Maybe I'm making too much of it, but I didn't think you'd do something
like this. You must have known Marcel would be here. Maybe I don't have
a right to be disappointed anymore, Dade. But it's just one more thing
that makes me realize I don't know you the way I thought I did. Marty
Lee, Dad. And there's more than that, I know there is. I don't know
what happened to my little brother, but you're not him."
"What are you saying?"
"That you're not the
Dade I loved. You're not the Dade I trusted. When I see you hurting
like today, I just want to be the big brother and make everything
better. I saw my little brother. And I came here because I wanted to
make sure you were ok and to apologize. And then I saw you and I
realized you weren't him. I don't know what's changed, Dade. I really
don't. But I honestly don't know what to say or how to fix it. And I
don't really have the energy to try anymore."
Dade just stood there
looking stunned. He couldn't believe what I'd just said. I didn't say
any of it with spite in my voice. I said it completely calm and without
any anger. I think he was more shocked than anything else.
"I'm sorry. I seem to have a habit of saying things lately that don't make
you feel better. I wish I could. Bye, Dade." 
"Na uh. I don't fucken think so." Dade said angrily as he moved in front of
me. "Don't even fucking move." 
"Or what, Dade? We're
going to do a little dance? The old brother bust up? Is that it? You
think we can just fight now and then everything will be ok afterwards?"
"Shut the hell up,
Storm. Yeah, ok, that's fine. You want to say goodbye? Whatever. You
don't give a shit anymore? Bite me. But you're not fucking walking away
from me until I get to say my piece." Dade said looking as angry as
I've never seen him before. "You always get to say your piece and
decide when we're done. Fuck you. It's my turn. You've already made
your decision so now I'm going to make mine. You want to know
something, Storm?"
"I'm sure I do, Dade." I said in a flat expressionless voice.
"You say I'm not your
little brother anymore. Well, who the fuck are you? You're not my
Storm. You're not the Storm who came to the bridge that night. You know
what you are?"
"What, Dade? What am I?"
"You're a pussy.
You're a tame ass pussy. You've got no fire anymore. You just don't
care about anything these days. Where's the Storm who used to get fired
up about everything? The one who gave a shit? Sure he was a shithead,
but that Storm was my brother. That Storm would never give up on us. I
don't know who the fuck you are, but if you're going to be like this, I
don't care if you fuck off anymore."
"Nice one, Dade." I said calmly as I nodded my head. "Anything else?"
"Why the hell not?
May as well make the most of it. I don't know what's happened to you,
Storm. You think you've grown up and you're all mature now, but I don't
think you have. I just think you've given up. I think you're a soft
cock. I think you suck. I think if Marty Lee took you on, you'd get
your ass whipped and smile for him afterwards. I think if Lucas fucked
around on you that you'd say it was your fault and sleep with him the
same night. I think if Dad sold the house now even after your last
stunt that you'd roll over like a little bitch and let him. And I
really think that the reason you don't care about me anymore is because
you don't care about yourself. All you do these days is take shit and
that's why you're a god damn pussy."
"Wow." I said as staunchly as I could, leaning against the wall with an
amused look on my face. 
Ok, that one hurt. I
tried not to show it, but I felt it. He'd actually cracked the bravado
exterior that I'd tried to put up. He was getting to me. He was past
that actually. What he said had hurt. I could feel my eyes begin to
water, but I'd be damned if I let them show yet. I just leaned against
the wall and waited for more to come.
"Carry on." I said with the slightest quiver in my voice.
"I think if I fought
you now, I'd kick your ass. I don't need you to make me feel better
anymore. I don't need you at all. Why don't you crawl back into your
little hole and hide again?"
"I'm sure I will."
"You've done a really
good job of making me feel like I'm not a part of your family anymore,
Storm. But just ... fuck it." Dade said fuming with rage as he smashed
his fist across my face.
Whoa. That hurt. I
didn't fall over. I managed to stay standing and make it look as though
his punch hadn't done much, but it had. I didn't react. I just stood
there and took it. And when I'd absorbed what he'd done I turned back
and stared at him. The staunchness had gone from my eyes. He knew he'd
hurt me now and that he had the power here. I just stood there looking
as hard as I could and trying to keep myself from crying.
"See what I mean? You're just a fucking pussy after all. Eat shit, Storm."
Ok. Tears were falling now. Only a few, but certainly enough for him to
know that he'd won. 
"You done yet?" I said barely able to keep myself from choking back anymore
tears. 
And now, finally his
anger seemed to disappear. Now he realized what he'd just done to me
and seemed a little lost now. I stood my ground as firmly as I could,
but he knew I was just waving a white flag in the air. He'd beaten me.
"Yeah. I'm done."
"Ok then." I said as I walked away with as much dignity as I felt I had at
that moment. "Goodbye." 

* * * * * *

Dade drank down his
bottle of beer with a vengeance. He could barely hold back the sobs as
he finished it off. He stumbled across the grass of Sarah's backyard
and collapsed against the fence. He threw the bottle furiously at the
garden gnome that seemed to taunt him relentlessly. Pain filled sobs
racked his body so violently that he shook. The adrenaline still at
huge highs from his encounter with Storm. Never in his life had he ever
attacked his brother so openly and without restraint or regard.
Verbally or physically. And although he meant a lot of what he'd said,
the guilt of his actions overwhelmed him like a freight train. His
cries were so constant and filled with anguish that he'd attracted the
attention of one of the partygoers nearby.
"Dade, what's wrong?" Josh asked as he put his arm around Dade's shoulder
and sat down next to him. "What's going on?" 
"I ... just ... killed my brother."
"You what!?" Josh asked with shock.
"I ... let him ... I ..." Dade sobbed, his voice shaking so much that Josh
could barely understand him. 
"Calm down, Dade. Everything will be ok. What happened?"
"Josh ..." Dade cried as he looked at Josh with utter pain in his eyes.
"I ..." 
"Dade, please. You're scaring me. What happened? Please. Just calm down and
tell me what happened." 
"I ... just ..." Dade
stammered as his sobs slowly began to come under control, but the guilt
and pain remained. "I just ... attacked my own brother in a way that
I've never done before. I hurt him, Josh. I hurt him so much and ... I
wanted to. I knew I was going to hurt him and I still did it anyway. I
said so many things I shouldn't have. I hit him. But the worst part was
... he just took it. He didn't once fight back. But ... I hurt him so
bad, Josh. Oh god ... what have I done? I'm turning into a monster. I
can't believe I just did that to my own brother. I'm a monster ..."

* * * * * *

The stigma of what
had just happened with Dade still shook me. My hands were shaky and a
few bitter tears still lingered on my face but I'd mostly composed
myself. I stood in the guest bathroom looking at myself in the mirror.
I couldn't even describe the way I felt right now. A punch up would
have been easier, but this ...
Luckily it didn't
look as though I had an obvious bruise, which was surprising, since
Dade really gave me a sledgehammer. Maybe he was right about some of
things he said. Maybe I have gone soft. But I'm sure I'm not wrong when
I think I didn't deserve all of that. Maybe I should've just said the
right thing like I used to and none of this would have happened. Maybe
I should've gotten angry the way I used to and maybe I should've kicked
his fucking ass.
Uh oh. I guess there
was still a bit of that fire left in me. Right now though I was mostly
just in shock. He'd never attacked me so viciously or openly before. So
relentlessly. Maybe I should have said or done something, but I just
didn't have it in me anymore, so maybe he was right. Maybe I was just a
pussy after all.
I took a deep breath
and closed my eyes. Bracing my hands on the edge of the bench, I was
still trying to recover mentally from the assault he'd just given me.
The physical doesn't mean shit. We've had worse. But the verbal and
mental ... I didn't know he had it in him.
Even now I was still
shaking from it all. Man ... that was just mean. But maybe I deserved
it. Maybe he felt as though he had nothing to lose and that I'd forced
him to react the way he did. I don't know anymore.
I decided that I
couldn't hide in here for ever. I walked out with my fake smile intact.
Still unable to shake the incident from my head, I thought over whether
or not I did deserve what he'd given me. I wondered whether I should be
the way I used to be. I know if Dade had ever come at me like that
before, I would have sat him on his ass. And then I'd probably walk
around the party with a shitty look on my face trying to pick a fight
with whoever crossed my path. But even now, I was just shaken. I still
wasn't angry. Just ... pretty fucken decimated.
I thought it was time
I said hi to Sarah and the rest of the gang before I headed home.
Hopefully Lucas had forgiven me by now because I'm not up for any more
people having a go at me. I asked around and nobody had seen them. The
last time everyone saw either of them, they were heading down the back.
That gave me a fair enough idea.
I headed outside and
spotted Dade in the far corner with Josh. Dade was literally crying his
eyes out. I stood there for a moment and Josh caught me standing there.
He gave me a bewildered look, wondering what I planned to do. I tried
to summon the anger I once had to just go over there and kick Dade in
the head or something. Who am I kidding? He's probably right. He
probably would kick my ass now. I may have called him my little
brother, but he's as big as I am and no pushover. I have to say ...
tonight was the first time in my life that I'd actually been scared of
Dade. Either I really have turned into a pussy or he'd got bigger. I
didn't want to find out, so that must make me a pussy.
I carried on walking,
hoping that he wouldn't see me as I went past. I think Josh made sure
he didn't. Thank goodness for Josh. I headed down towards the lakeside
and veered off at the path to Sarah's secret clearing. It didn't take
me long till I saw the familiar faces of Mike, Sarah, Marcel and my
baby. I tell ya, I've never been so relieved to see them in my life.
Funny thing was, they
didn't look too happy. It was actually good. My nerves were replaced
with concern as I approached the four who were huddled in a group.
"Who died?" I asked as I sat on the ground next to Mike.
"And just where the
hell have you been?" Sarah asked with both happiness to see me and mock
annoyance. "We've been waiting for you all night."
"I'm sorry I took so
long. You don't want to hear why. I'm just happy to be here. Today has
been the absolute shittiest day. How are all you guys doing?"
The overwhelming
response or lack of one made it obvious that they were all doing pretty
crap. Well, ain't that a trip? My eyes caught Lucas' and they feigned
how sorry I was for missing dinner. I think he could sense that
something was wrong with me too and I couldn't even tell if he was
angry with me anymore. Everybody seemed pretty blue actually. I thought
I was in a funk but these guys just looked sorry assed.
"Storm, what happened to your face?" Sarah asked with concern.
"Babe?" Lucas asked as well once he realized what Sarah was looking at.
"Yeah, Storm. What happened?"
"Let me guess ..." Mike asked with a raised eyebrow that made me shake my
head as I thought of Dade. "Marty Lee?" 
"I'd rather not say.
It's no biggie. You all know I've had worse. This is nothing. I'm
fine." Wow, I can still pull off a little white lie with ease. "So why
do you all look so sorry assed?"
"We have something we'd like to tell you, Bro." Mike said with a deep breath.
"Ok." I said as I
reveled in the comfort I received from Mike just calling me Bro, I
needed it right now. "Shoot. Can't be half as bad as the other news
I've had today."
"Sarah and I are leaving Merlow so Sarah can get the treatment she needs to
get better. We leave in about two weeks." 
"Ok, it can be as bad as the other news I've had today. Somebody wanna tell
me again, I think I heard you wrong. You're what?" 
"We're leaving. And
we're getting married the day we leave. Sarah wants everyone we care
about around us so that the last day we have here ..." Mike paused as
he seemed to chew on his lip for a moment in an effort to quell his
burgeoning tears. "A special one."
"Just in case." Sarah said with a smile again. "You never know."
"Shut up, Sarah. I
know bloody well that you're coming back. You can leave, but you have
to come back. No just in case about it. Now someone tell me again
what's happening? I think I heard you wrong. You're leaving?"
"We're leaving." Mike repeated with less trepidation in his voice.
"Right." I said as the impact of what they'd told me finally began to
hit. "You're what?" 
"LEAVING!" Sarah yelled as she threw her hands up.
"I'm sorry. You're going to be annoyed at me but I just can't believe
it. It's not sinking in. This isn't a joke, is it?" 
"No, Storm." Mike said as he shook his head.
"You're leaving? You're both leaving? Seriously?"
"Seriously." Sarah said downcast. "Sorry, Babe. Life sucks, huh?"
I just sat there in
utter numbness. Pursing my index finger on the edge of my lips as I
stared blankly at the two of them. Everything I'd just gone through
with Dade seemed to float off into space. Mike and Sarah are leaving?
This is all wrong. They're not supposed to leave. They're never
supposed to leave. They're Mike and Sarah. They're supposed to be here
for ever. They've both been in my life as long as I've been alive.
Longer than Lucas. Longer than Marcel. Hell, I know these guys more
than I know my own sister and father. These two are my family. This
isn't supposed to happen. I'm supposed to leave before they do.
"Oh man." I sighed to myself, still trying to absorb it all. "Mike? You're
leaving too?" 
"Sorry, Storm. I go where Sarah goes. For the rest of our lives. I'm sorry.
I wish it wasn't like this."  
"I do too, Storm." Sarah said with tired, watery eyes. "This is all my
fault. I don't want him to have to leave you guys." 
"You know whose fault
it is? It's fate's fault. So let's just hate on him for a while to make
ourselves feel better." I said with a cheeky smile. "Ok, so ... does
that mean you'll be Sarah Leo Mitchell or Sarah Leo Marcus?"
"I'm not really sure actually. It's up to Mike."
"All my father did
was hurt me. All Mom did was love me. Marcus it is." Mike said with a
smile. "Besides, it's not like you or Dade are going to carry on the
Marcus name so one of us has to."
"Sometimes I wish I
were my old self. So I could just sit here and cry and feel sorry for
myself. But right now all I want to do is just shut the hell up." I
said with a small laugh as I held my head in my hands. "I can't believe
it."
"It won't be for
ever, Storm. Sarah will be ok. Eventually. It'll just take some time. A
year. Two years. Who knows? But whatever it takes is how long we'll be
gone."
"As long as you're
both happy, I'm happy. But don't ever think I'm not going to miss you
like some sorry ass bitch every single day you're gone. Because I
will." I said as I took a deep breath and kissed Sarah's hand in a
feeble attempt to stop myself from shedding a tear.
"Don't cry, Storm. It'll be ok." Sarah said reassuringly.
"First Mom. Then Lucas' parents. Now you two. Ever since she died it's all
just gone to hell. Who's next?" 
"Probably me, no
doubt." Marcel shrugged. "I mean I haven't decided anything. I'm just
saying that I'd probably be the most likely. Don't worry, Storm. I'll
still be here."
"Nothing's going to
change between us just because we're not here, Storm." Mike said as he
kissed my cheek a little too much and hugged me a little too tight.
"You'll always be my brother and I'll always be there when you need me.
Always."
"Thank you." I said
as I squeezed him so hard I thought I'd hurt myself. "Thank you. So
much. Both of you I love so damn much. I don't know what I'll do when
you go."
My tears flowed as
freely as my eyes would allow. The pain of losing them had well and
truly begun to set in. And I knew the worst was still to come. If I was
having a hard time now, I didn't even want to think about how I'd be
those days after they were actually gone. They were my family. And my
family seemed to be getting smaller by the week.
"Thank you guys so
much for coming tonight." Sarah said as she smiled through her tears.
"You have no idea ... especially lately ... just how much you all mean
to me. I love you guys with all my heart and for the rest of my days, I
will never forget what we have here. In this moment, I'm happy. All you
guys ... just make me want to ... get better a lot faster."
"We're your boys, Sarah." Lucas said with a smile of his own.
"No, you're not. You
guys are my family. And don't make me cry any more. At least I'm crying
because I'm happy. But I mean it ... every one of you. All of us here.
We've gone through hell and we're still standing. We're family. I just
can't say how much you all mean to me."
"How much we mean to each other." Mike said as he squeezed my hand.
"Come on. Everybody lay down." Sarah said as she laid back and looked up at
the stars. 
Marcel laid down on
one side of Sarah, resting his head on her chest as she brushed her
fingers through his hair. I smiled at the sight and my mind floated
back to the days gone by when this was such a common occurrence. Marcel
had become such a stoic figure that it was strange seeing him the way
he used to be with Sarah. It was sweet.
Mike naturally laid
down beside Sarah and rested her head on his arm. The two shared a gaze
before their lips met in a gentle angel kiss. I took the moment to
quickly turn to Lucas who was already smiling at me. I leant forward so
I could whisper in his ear as he interlaced his fingers through mine.
"I'm sorry, Baby." I
said with a choke in my throat. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you
tonight. I didn't mean to. I'm really sorry."
Lucas didn't say
anything, he just kissed me and laid us both down so we were draped
over Mike and Sarah's legs. This must have looked pretty weird to
anyone else but for us ... it was just perfect. I could feel myself
smiling again. I tried not to think too much about Mike and Sarah
leaving, I knew that would hit me more as the time got closer. I also
knew it was the best thing so I couldn't kick up a stink.
"Do you guys remember
doing this a long time ago? We all wondered whether we'd still be
together in five years." Sarah said as she smiled up at the stars. "Do
you guys still think the same thing?"
"I can't even
remember what I said." Mike said with a stifled laugh. "I just remember
saying I'd be wherever you were and I was right."
"I remember that
whole conversation." Marcel said seriously. "It was the five of us. And
I asked if you all thought we'd be together in five years. We're
halfway there and I know that we will be. Things may change over time,
we all know that. But no matter where we are, no one can take away what
we have. I depend on you guys more than you think."
"I remember now."
Mike said excitedly. "I said that we were a pack. And I said you guys
were my family. Man, that was so long ago."
"And I said you guys were my family too. Man, that was so long ago." Marcel
said contemplatively. 
"See, we said it all
back then, but I know we all feel it ten times more today." Sarah said
with a sigh. "So much has changed, yet we're all still here. Moments
like this I'm going to remember for the rest of my life. What about
you, Lucas? You've been here for ever now, so what do you think?"
"Dude ... don't put me on the spot like that. I was happy just laying here
and keeping quiet." 
"Come on, Dude Boy." Mike said playfully nudging Lucas in the head with his
foot. 
"I think ... I still
think that the best thing to ever happen to me was coming here. You
guys might think I just stayed for Storm, but I didn't. This is my home
and it's because of all of you. I've never said this before, but Dudes
... all of you ... thank you for letting me be a part of this." Lucas
quivered with emotion in his voice. "I love you guys."
I was so proud of him then. I don't know why exactly, but just what he said
and the way he said it. That's my baby. 
"Lucas, I could kiss you." Mike said with a grin. "Thanks, Bud. We love you
too." 
"That was sweet,
Lucas. Thank you." Sarah sighed. "I'm really going to miss you. You've
earned your stripes. Take care of nature boy while we're gone, ok?"
"I will, Sarah."
"Marcel?" I asked not wanting him to feel left out. "What about you?"
"What about me?"
"Anything you want to say?"
"Yeah. I just saw a shooting star." Marcel said as he pointed to the
sky. "And you know what I wished for?" 
"What?"
"This."
"Snoogums, that's so corny." Mike grinned as he gave Marcel a kiss on the
top of his head. "But I love you anyway." 
"Actually, I wished
for more than that. I wished for Sarah to get well. I wished for Mike
and Sarah's wedding to be the best ever. I wished for Lucas and Storm
to live happily ever after."
"That's it? Nothing for you?"
"Believe me, I have enough right here."
He is such a bad
liar, but I knew he didn't want to kill the moment. The guy is nothing
but selfless. And even though I don't think Dade and I will be friends
anytime soon, I hope he and Marcel find their way back to each other.
"You guys are the only family I've ever had." Marcel said with a sigh. "As
long as I have you guys, I'll survive anything." 
"Same goes for me." Sarah said emphatically.
"Me too." Mike piped in.
"It's weird ... since
Mom's been gone, I've realized even more how much you guys mean to me.
You are my family. We've had some curveballs thrown our way lately, but
we beat them because we stick together. That's why we'll always
survive. Here's to us."
"No ..." Mike said
with a melancholy look in his eyes. "Here's to family. Those who are
here now and those who aren't. We all know who they are."
"To family." Marcel said with a dejected sigh as I could tell he was
thinking of Mom. 
"To family." Lucas joined in, no doubt thinking of his parents as well as us.
"To family." Sarah said with a smile. "To us."
Knowing it was my
turn, I contemplated what the meaning would be to me. My first thought
was Mom. She would always be my family. Second was the five of us
sitting here. Closer than my own blood family ties right now were the
ties I had with this group. My real family, as sad as that sounds. But
I don't regret it, I love all of these guys with my life. The only sad
thing is ... even after what's happened ... right now ... I want Dade
here with me. He is part of my family. But he's not here and I don't
know if he ever will be again. With me ... like this ... as family. But
for what it's worth, I'm grateful for the role he's played in my life
so far. And I'm even more grateful that the other four here are still
sharing it with me. They are my family.
"To us. To family."

* * * * * *

To Be Continued

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