Date: Sun, 4 Sep 2005 20:44:52 -0700 (PDT)
From: K <getitright10@yahoo.com>
Subject: Stupid Jerk part 5

I'm sorry about taking so long to post this.  I'm working on my rewrites
for my book and other what nots.  Oh yeah, I'm moving soon, so after like
the next 2 chapters there may be another delay.  I like to get these out
weekly, and I've fallen behind that schedule.  I really appreciate all
the emails I've received.  Lastly, usual disclaimer things apply:  Don't
read this if you're not supposed to, but if you do anyway, why not enjoy
it?  If you're uncomfortabled by gay/bi/whatever teens and their stories
or portrayals of sexual congress between them, then you must have written
the wrong website address in the bar.  Please go elsewhere.  Enjoy.

-Countquestions



Stupid Jerk: New Things



"'Sup," Darryl greeted him softly, "That was a heavy practice, wasn't
it?"

Sam broke into a huge grin and walked up to Darryl, wrapping his hands
around his waist.  "'Sup, Berry," he called Darryl.  It was a nickname he
coined after they first kissed.  In his opinion, Darryl literally tasted
like strawberries.  Right before what Darryl would call his most magical
kiss, he had been delightfully binging on the fruit.  Sam thought the
name was appropriate, especially when Darryl would blush.  And of course,
that's exactly what he was doing now.

"I love it when you blush like that.  I can make my big, hulking, black
man blush, just by calling him Berry.  So sweet," Sam bragged and dove
his tongue into Darryl's shortly unprepared mouth.  They began kissing
furiously, each of them forgetting where they were and how easily their
cover could be blown.  'I don't care,' Darryl told himself.  He was
content as long as he was wrapped in Sam's arms.

They were now pretty heavy.  At some point Darryl's shirt was tossed
elsewhere, not to later be found by either of them.  Sam, who was already
shirtless was quickly losing his shorts, and damn them for they wouldn't
come off quickly enough.  He cursed them as Darryl pushed him back,
crushing their brawny bodies onto the lockers.

Darryl detached himself from Sam's mouth to help him take off his
shorts.  He began kissing Sam's neck, sucking on the space right next to
his Adam's apple.  He slowly kissed down to Sam's collar bone and smiled
at his secret boyfriend before he began playing with his now erect brown
nipple.  He continued to twist it in his fingers, making a loud moan
emanate from deep in Sam's throat.  He reached down into Sam's shorts and
massaged the hardness there through Sam's jockstrap.

Just as his mouth lowered to Sam's other nipple, "Perdon!
Lovebirds?  Perdon," came Paco's voice.

*        *        *

I shook Darryl violently.  When he falls asleep he's out completely.
World War IV and the Apocalypse could occur simultaneously on top of him,
and he'd sleep through them.  "Darryl!" I shook him again and whispered,
"You're snoring."  Deirdre glared at him over my shoulder.  He returned
the glare.

"If you ain't wanna see this, then why'd you come?" she rolled her eyes,
angrily.

He just leered at her and then looked at the screen.

"Hey!" Tom whispered, "Not now!"

George leaned pass Tom, "He's right!  Watch the movie!"

"SHHHHHH!" came harshly from people in the audience.

I laughed silently to myself.  The five of us were at the movies.
Deirdre and George wanted to see some movie with Diane Keaton and some
other guy, and when me, Tom, and Darryl tried to persuade them to see
something else, they just glared blankly at us.  We gave in, not wanting
to hear for days on end how horrible our choice was.  The movie wasn't
bad, just a chick flick basically.  I leaned over to Darryl and
whispered, "Don't fall asleep again.  But if you do, try not to say his
name."  I didn't have to look at him to see the blush washing itself over
his face.  Another shh! Flew out from someone.  I flicked whomever it was
off.

Sometime during the rest of the movie, I zoned out.  I swear I blinked
once.  Then the credits were rolling, and we were leaving.  A badly
wasted eight bucks.  Damn boring movie.  Deirdre, George, and even Tom
loved the movie.  They went on and on about it, even though we had just
seen it.  They joked and laughed about moments that I had no knowledge
whatsoever about.  Darryl and I lagged behind.  "So when'd George become
part of the group?" Darryl asked.

"Ever since Deirdre wanted to exact revenge for me.  Sabes que I've
wanted to get her alone so I can ask her what she's gonna do.  Pero she
and George are attached at the hip, now.  So, I say we act like it ain't
nothin'?" I answered.

He shrugged, "I guess."  I looked up to find that we were the arcade,
right next to a Claire's.

"C'mon, George, let's go!" Deirdre said with too much excitement.

George rolled her eyes, "Okay. . . I do not do Claire's.  It's like
taking all things girly and shoving them into this one small space."

"You are a girl," Deirdre said emphatically and pulled an annoyed George
into the store.  "You guys go do guy shit."

Tom, Darryl, and I looked at each other.  "Guy shit?" we all laughed in
unison.  We went into the arcade.  Tom saw some fighting game and became
completely enamorado.  He zipped over to it to begin playing it.  He and
his opponent, a short black-haired girl, threw trash-talking obscenities
at each other as they play.  Darryl and I found some large racing game
where you sat in a real seat and actually had to use a pedal and steering
wheel.  Trabaja!  All that work just to play a game.  I didn't really
want to drive.  Honest to say, I suck at driving, though I'll never admit
it if accused or asked.  Darryl won easily, which he wouldn't let me live
down.  (Especialmente since we had four consecutive races before I gave
up.)  While he stupidly victory-danced, a cheerleader named Hanna walked
by.

"Hey, Darryl.  Hope the team's ready for our first game in a week,
right?" she said, hugging him.  She looked over at me, "And who's your
friend?"

I laughed on the inside as Darryl looked at her like she was an idiot,
"That's Paco."

She faces me, "Siskey?!?"  I nodded.  "Oh my God!" she exclaimed, "It's
your hair.  It's all gone.  Hmm.  I liked your hair, nice and long and
black.  It made you look really cute.  I mean you had beautiful hair."
She lightly touched my arm, "Why'd you cut it all off?"

I sighed.  Earlier me and Darryl had gone to his house, and his mom cut
my hair for me, while chastising me for getting drunk and hurting
myself.  Darryl tried to come to my defense - that it wasn't my fault -
but she was having none of that.  I looked at Hanna and then pointed to
the bandage, a little angry from the fact that she called my hair
beautiful and now it had been razed away.  "I got hurt."

"Oh, and you didn't want that shaved patch, right?" she asked.

I nodded, "Yeah."

"Thought so," she concluded, "Well, though your hair was long and
beautiful (believe me all us girls just loved your hair), you still are
totally hot.  I mean, you just look so different, but not in a bad way."
She paused.  "Well since you and Kara aren't going out anymore. . .  You
can - um - feel free to you know - ask someone out every once in a while,
right?"  She winked.  "Well, then, see ya around.  You too, Darryl."  She
sashayed away.

Darryl beamed at me and punched my arm, "She wants you."

I rubbed my arm where he punched it, "Sometimes, you and Tom are too
strong for your own good.  And yeah, I kinda' picked up on her flirtin'."

He wiggled his eyebrows, "Well, you gonna go after it?"

"Her, not it.  She's not an 'it'.  I mean, she's cute and all, but I'm
not lookin' right now." I stated simply.

He gave me the most incredulous look, "I thought you were over her."

"I am," I looked away.

He moved in front of me and shook his head, "I'm your best friend.  I
know you, and you aren't."

I looked away from him again.  He was right, and he knew it.  I hated
times like these, when he ended up being all wise and sage about me.  No,
I wasn't over Kara.  She was my girlfriend, la novia mia!  iMia!  Not
Sam's, not Darryl's, not any jock at all.  She was mine.  Me, the tall,
thin, Peruano artsy guy.  The one who sketches as much as possible,
didn't really favor sports, and really wanted to get the spot for
designing the school's new mural.  She wanted me.  She shifted the "cool"
balance here in West Bumblefuck.  She did that for me.  She risked her
reputation, her oh-so-dearly-coveted and loved reputation.  And she was a
great girlfriend.  We had deep conversation; she could argue like a
champ, be wild and spontaneous, and yeah la tira fue buenisima.  Dios
mio was sex with her good!

But, she left me for stupid reasons.  False reasons.  Then what does she
do?  ?Que hace ella?  She becomes Sam's cover.  After all the shit she
gave me about seeing me and Darryl "make out" (that's what she amped it
up to), she becomes a gay guy's cover.  Yeah, it was smart.  The head
cheerleader and the captain of the football team being together makes the
perfect couple.  Ay, how cliche is that?  Of course that's right up Los
Bumblefuckians' alley.  A typical, high school "match made in
heaven".  Pues, Dio tiene que cagar en su relacion.  Yeah, I did want
that.  God should just shit all over their "relationship"; however, I was
okay with it, knowing that Sam's shacking up with Darryl was it's own
type of shitting on their "ideal" relationship.

Damn, I shouldn't hate their relationship that much, should I?  I guess
if they're all happy, I could deal.  Really, I could.

Darryl looked at my guilty expression; he clapped me on the back, "Don't
shit over it.  It's natural."

"Yeah," I mumbled.

"Hey, be happy, Paco," he said, clapping me on the back again, "You wanna
play somethin' else?"

I shook my head, "Nah.  I'm'a'go sit over there on a bench.  Go have
fun.  Play some games.  Disfrutalos."  He looked unsure for a moment and
then went back to the racing game.  I walked over to the bench and
stretched out, slouching.  I leaned my head back onto the small tiled
platform behind the bench and closed my eyes.  I don't know how long I
was like that, but I didn't open my eyes until I felt the bench sink
slightly as someone sat down.  I heard them say, "Yo, Paco?"  They
sounded surprised to see me.  Fully opening my eyes, I saw Sam sitting
next to me.  I sat up slowly.  I really didn't need to see him right now
- the fucking girlfriend-stealer - but then I thought to myself, 'He's
gay.  He doesn't want her.'   I laughed at my own thought.  He cocked an
eyebrow.

"Sam," I shook my head, "Hiyou?"

"I should be asking you that.  You're the one who took the hard fall.
You were like bruised and shit on the side of your head.  Doctor Kaiser
said that you hit your head around that area more than the one time in
front me and - in front of me.  So, I figured you must not have used your
hand to knock on the door?  I'm real sorry about it," he apologized.  "I
made sure we got you over to your house without anyone seeing.  I didn't
wanna cause no big thing, y'know."

"You ain't got nothin' to be sorry about.  It wasn't your fault, and
thanks for taking me home and shit," I assured and thanked him.

"Don't mention it," he smiled.  "So, hangin' out here?"

"Yeah, we went to a movie earlier," I told him, glad that "we" didn't
need to be specified, "Oh yeah, George came along too."

"George, the cheerleader or George on the team?" he asked.

"Cheerleader."

"Oh, I didn't know she was part of your group," he commented, eyes cast
down.

"She is now," I explained.

"Oh?" he asked, "Seems like the three of you were pretty exclusive till
Tom showed up."

"Exclusive?" I asked incredulously.

He nodded, "Yeah, exclusive.  I mean, y'all been like that since you
moved in like fourth grade.  Y'all were just so tight.  Made other people
feel left out."

"Wait, you think you aren't a friend?"

"I know when I'm home and wanna shoot the shit and not with guys from the
team, you were always across the street, and that Darryl or Deirdre would
be there.  We would hang out and shit, but I just felt outta the loop,"
he explained.  This was a new side of Sam that I was seeing.  I never
knew that he could be so . . . deep.

"Well, we ain't wanna make you feel that way," I apologized.

"It's nothin'," he waved his hand as if shooing something away, "I know
you didn't and I'm not mad about it so, no worries."

We both looked up to see Tom and Darryl walking to some other game
together.  I saw Sam's lingering stare at Darryl.  I took a deep breath,
"I think it's cool, the two of you."  He looked confused.  With my eyes I
gestured towards Darryl.  He smiled and then looked shocked.  Then angry.

"Wait, he told you?!?" he whispered harshly, looking around us.  Before I
could answer, he continued, "I told him not to tell anyone.  I can't
believe he told you!"

"He didn't," I explained calmly.  He visibly relaxed.

"Well then how-"

"I put two and two together.  I really had no idea until last night."  I
smiled at him, "Interrupted you, didn't I?"

He looked guilty for a moment and then grinned, "Yeah."  Neither one of
us said anything for a while.  We both just sat there.  He finally broke
the silence, "I'm sorry about Kara."

I stared at him, bewildered.  "?Que?"  I asked.

"I didn't want to take her away from you," he continued.  This was coming
from nowhere.  "Me and Darryl talked about it.  He said that you're not
over her."

"Well that's a lie," I said too quickly and angrily.

He frowned, "Okay.  I'm just - I'm sorry about her and you breaking up.
It was cool to see such a not-so-typical couple."  I grunted.  He opened
his mouth to say something and closed it.  He scratched his head and
stood up.  "Well, there she is now," he pointed to Kara who was with
George and Deirdre, they all had bags in their hands, chatting it up.
"See ya around, Paco.  And thanks for keeping me and Darryl a secret."

The three girls came over to us.  I stared at Kara angrily and she coyly
smiled at me and then kissed Sam.  Their hands clasped together.  He
asked her what she bought.  She held up some bag and went on about how
she met up with Deirdre and George in Claire's; and that they went
shopping.  "What've you been up to?" she asked me and Sam.

"Nothin'," Sam answered, "Just talking."

"Where's D and T?" George asked.

"Arcade, still," I answered.

Deirdre exhaled, "I'm beat.  Let's get them.  We're ready to go."

"K," I went to fetch the arcade addicts.  Both Darryl and Tom reluctantly
left their gaming.  All five of us left the mall together.  George fit in
as well as Tom did.  She became a natural part of our group.  Our maybe
no longer "exclusive" group.  We all somehow piled into her car.  We sat
in tired silence as she drove us home.



Here are some translations again.  Keep words astericked (*) in mind for
the future.  (One more thing, should I continue to do some of these
translations?  Please email me at getitright10@yahoo.com and let me
know.  I love your comments, whether they good, flat, or total flamers.
Thanks, K.)

Perdon: "pardon", [a direct cognate that one]; it can also be
"pardon/excuse me"

Sabes que*: "You know that...."  (i.e. Sabes que I'm going to the store);
or  "Do you know how/that...."  (i.e. Sabes que she is going to the
concert?)

Enamorado: enamored

Trabaja!: Work!

Especialmente: especially.  ["ly"=mente]

La novia mia: MY girlfriend!

Que hace ella?: What does she do?

La tira fue buenisima: The sex was the best.

Dios tiene que cagar en su relacion:  God should (literally "must") shit
on their relationship.

Pero*: but