Date: Sun, 6 May 2001 01:18:24 -0700
From: David Stolowitz <stolowitz@msn.com>
Subject: Sublimation (high school)- chapter 3

Hey everybody, sorry this is late- I've been prepping for AP tests among
other busy work.  Thanks for your continued positive feedback. But Lee,
what's everybody got against Yanni?

Sublimation-chapter 3

Sheets twisted and shifted across the bed as the two bodies rolled them
like pastry. In the bottom position was Kelly Starks, a gorgeous and
popular cheerleader, trying to prove her love to her partner. On the top
was Andy Radke, driving his body into his latest playtoy for all his
worth. They were using one of the bedrooms at Nick's huge house-
traditionally the safest haven for Andy's crew. Kelly was trying to figure
out whether or not she should mention to Andy that he was squeezing and
pressing into her so hard it hurt. Andy had his mind on other things. Kelly
had been really easy- a few drinks, a little bit of bullshit about how
special she was, and in the cock went. Tonight though, his mind kept
flashing to something alien and strange. As Andy fucked her, images of Seth
kept jumping into his head.

Andy hadn't even felt that horny, but with Seth stuck on his mind he was
looking to his favorite distraction for aid. No luck here. Even with
Kelly's round tits wiggling around his chest and his dick deep inside her,
Seth's body kept reappearing. His mind was so linked that he even called
out his name.

"Seth..."

"What?" asked Kelly.

"Left" Andy corrected himself. "Move to the left". Kelly complied,
wondering what he had really said. A few minutes later, he did it again.

"Oh Seth... you feel so good"

Kelly stopped. "Who is Seth?" she inquired.

Andy halted as well. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You keep saying 'Seth'. Who is Seth?"

Andy's face flared in anger. "What the fuck are you saying?! Are you
calling me a fag?!"

"I never said that. I just."

"YOU FUCKING WHORE!" Andy yelled, terrifying Kelly. "I TAKE YOU TO DINNER,
I TREAT YOU DAMN GOOD, AND YOU CALL ME A FAG!"

"No Andy! Please!"

"SHUTUP!" he screamed. His fist flew out from his side and landed in her
eye socket with a painful smack. "GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, YOU FUCKING
CUNT!"

Kelly grabbed her clothes and ran out of the room, careless of her
nakedness.

Andy punched the headboard a few times to let out steam, then fell back
onto the bed.

"What the hell is happening to me?" he said aloud. "What the fuck are you
doing to me Seth?" Dangerous possibilities began to invade his mind. The
words, like dragons from some ancient fairy story told to scare young
children, were rising in the back of his mind.

Gay. Homo. Fag. Queer. The horrible list went on and on. And Andy's
definition of it all returned as well.

He was sitting on the floor of the living room. Andy was 8 years old and
much shorter than his present height. He had been watching Ninja Turtles,
and now was waiting for the toy commercials he had memorized to end and
return him to the exciting adventures. As the commercials droned on, he
heard his father walk in from the garage. He squirmed a little, hoping his
dad would be in a good mood tonight. Frank walked into the room as a
preview for the 5:00 news came on.

"Gays take to the street to protest discrimination". The tv showed a large
group of men and women, marching with big bright banners adorned with
strange patterns of circles and lines. "More at 5".

"Oh Jesus, not the fucking homos again" Frank groaned.

"Who are those people Dad?"

"Those are homos son. They're the most sick, perverted freaks in the
country!"

"Why is that? What do they do?" Andy asked innocently "Men having sex with
men- women with women. Grotesque."

Andy looked to his father. Frightening as he was, he was Andy's truest
source of knowledge.

"That's pretty weird. But what's so terrible about that?"

Frank laughed a sick echo. "That's the least of it. They do all sorts of
disgusting things.

They rape children."

"No!"

"They shove their dicks in each others asses- the shit turns them on."

"Gross!"

"They even stick little animals like hamsters up their butts"

"Ew!!! That is so disgusting!" Andy squirmed.

"And the worst thing about them son, is they want the whole country to be
proud of them, and even to give them special rights. I tell you- you ever
associate with anyone like that and I'll disown you."

"No way Dad! I'll stay clear of those freaks!"

Andy had gone on to school the next day to report the abhorrance to all his
friends. They were similarly disgusted and even started insulting each
other with the names. Thus, the legacy of hate was passed on to the new
generation.

Andy walked into the bathroom and looked at his naked form in the
mirror. He remembered how a year after that memory, his growth spurt had
started. He had grown so tall so fast. it had frightened both him and his
friends. A lot of kids had started to make fun of him, and when that began
his friends dropped away. At his dad's advice, he had fought back, and only
ostracized himself more. It hadn't lasted too long. Junior high had brought
drugs, booze, sex, contact sports, designer clothing and a fresh group of
kids willing to love ya as long as you did all of it with them.

Andy surveyed his body. His thick muscles were tense from exertion; his
skin was reddened as well. His chest was formed beautifully, with a light
trail of blond hair that meandered like a river through a valley of
pectoral muscles to spill into a naval base.

Andy's cock was very large, even without being engorged. The creases of the
large head and the thickness of the shaft had always fascinated women, and
the pair of globes that rested in his sack were equally appealing. Andy
felt he should be proud of it all, but he wasn't. He was never strong
enough. There was always someone else that could outdo him.

"I'll be the strongest yet" he reassured himself. And yet, he imagined that
if he had met himself 5 years back, he'd be scared to death. Was that good
or bad? It was difficult to say.

His mind was trying to calm him down. He didn't speak with a lisp. He
certainly didn't act like a fairy. He would never want to do any of those
gross things his father had spoken of. There was no way he could be
gay. "I'm no fucking faggot" he reaffirmed to himself. Fairly content, he
returned to the bedroom to rest. He felt tomorrow would be a long day.

"Hey man, can I ask you something?" Nick spoke to Andy as the van full of
teenage boys sped out of the parking lot like a starfighter. Today's
assault target was the local Wendy's.

Andy was driving and Nick had called shotgun first.

"What?" Andy replied nervously, worried that Kelly had blabbed the other
night's incident to his comrades.

"You're usually pretty cool and collected, but lately ya seem kinda
tense. What's up?"

Nick inquired.

Ensured that his fears were in their proper place, Andy replied to
him. "It's that bitch Kelly. You know what she did to me? She called me a
faggot! And with my dick inside her!"

"Damn! What a ho!" Nick agreed.

"Women piss me off sometimes" Andy continued. "They lead you round in
circles on a wild goose hunt, and then when you're ready to fuck their
pussy, they've already started fucking with your head".

"I thought getting head was the point"

"No dumbass! I mean they screw with your mind."

"Oh, sorry. Yeah, I see how that could piss ya off. But.well."

"But what?" Andy badgered "You've been all uptight the whole last
week. Before you even met Kelly" Nick reasoned.

Andy tried to come up with an excuse, but Nick was moving too quickly down
the line of logic.

"Someone's been pissing you off, huh?"

"Uh, y-yeah. That's it" Andy spouted.

"Who is it?" Nick pressed "Uh..." Andy stalled, wondering if he could
somehow avoid the subject "Andy! You drove right past Wendy's!" Evan called
from the back seats.

"Shit! Sorry, hang on." Andy pulled a U-turn in the middle of the artery,
cutting off an oldsmobile and causing more than a few horns to toot. The
guys laughed from the back of the van. Nick winced- he'd never been very
fond of Andy's driving habits.

"Look, I'm not really in the mood to talk about it, ok?" Andy concluded to
Nick. "Ask me some other time".

6th Period arrived. Andy had been both dreading and eager for it. On the
one hand, there was Seth's warm presence. On the other was another stacked
jury. Andy kept his eyes high as he walked through the music hall, hoping
that he could just ignore any of the kids from yesterday's
confrontation. If any had noticed the out of place athlete among the
students, they chose to remain quiet about it.

Andy opened the door and scanned the choir hall. The room was huge compared
to the others the school contained. The floor was raised like stairs; the
rows of seats increasing in increment. There was a beautiful grand piano at
the front of the room. It looked far too nice for the school's meager
budget, and Andy surmised that it belonged to the choir teacher. Around the
room, he saw students of every clique, class and creed conversing in upbeat
tones about plans for the year. The students grew quiet as they noticed
Andy at the front. He scanned the room desperate for allies, finding an
angel and a demon. In the back was Seth, smiling but quiet, waiting to see
what Andy would do. Near the front of the room was Mark Eldredge, shivering
with anger.

"Get out of here and leave us alone Andy! There's plenty of other places
you can go get your laughs" Mark challenged.

"Oh lighten up, will ya? I'm not here to make fun of anybody. I need a 6th
period class, and this one seems to have a pretty good reputation"

"So why don't you get lost before you ruin it!" Mark yelled.

Andy was about to return fire when he saw Seth mouth the word "don't" to
him from the back. There was no good reason in his mind why he shouldn't
just beat the crap out of Mark then and there. But Seth had said otherwise,
and Andy knew somehow that it was the best decision. He stood silent.

A heavy-set woman with thick glasses approached him from the little window
room on the left. Her face was positive- she didn't she see the new guy so
much as a threat than as a curiosity. "Everyone gets a chance Mark. If he
isn't sincere, he won't stay long. But you're sincere though- I can tell."
She stuck out her hand for a shake. "Welcome to choir Andy. I'm Megan"

Andy was tentative, but shook with her. "Megan? Why not Mrs. Something?"

"Because you are not my inferior, and I respect you. Just my philosophy- I
wouldn't try it with the other staff. Oh, and when they're in here, I go by
'Mrs. Summer". Andy liked the woman instantly.

"We're happy to have you here, but you need to understand something. We're
all family here, and this place is sacred to us. We all look out for each
other, and we never, ever, harass anyone. For every mistake you make in
here, one of us has done something just as stupid or embarrasing, and
vise-versa. This is a place where your background doesn't determine your
status. Neither does your musical ability. Only your outlook. So, can you
be cool with that?"

He nodded and she smiled.

"Wonderful. Now," she said as she turned to face the class, "Bets on his
scale?"

"$1 says he's a bass" one guy called out.

"Bidding is $1. Other bets?" Megan continued as Andy chuckled.

"Alto" a fair-haired girl called out. "Blondes can't be basses. They're too
smart!" The class laughed and one of the basses gave her a well-deserved
noogie.

"I'm sure Hitler would agree Joyce" Megan responded, inciting more
laughter. "Other bets?"

"Soprano! He's the long-lost 3rd member of Savage Garden!" yelled a
boy. Andy laughed along with the class; Megan sure had a way of dispelling
the anxiety.

"Baritone" Seth called out. "Seems very shallow, but he's higher than you
think."

 There was a murmur of agreement in the room. Andy and Seth looked into
each other's eyes as Megan collected the rest of the bets from the room.

"Now class, there won't be any discussion of this, right? Gambling is
bad. You shouldn't gamble. Gambling is bad. Ummkaaaay?" Megan spoke with an
altered voice arousing mirth once more. "All right, big guy. Let's go over
to one of the piano rooms and find out.

Everybody warm up!" And with that, the class turned to its own
activities. Andy looked at Seth with pride as he left the room. It didn't
matter now what the rest of them thought.

Andy had shown Seth, and more importantly himself, that he could be strong
the same way that Seth was. That was a reward in itself.