Date: Sun, 28 Sep 2008 00:14:18 -0400
From: walrus
Subject: the swedish effect, chapter 5

Have you ever been in a hospital? Well, if you have, then you probably know
what I'm going through at the moment. You know, fat nurses that act like
you're their son, or food that reminds you of school lunches. Yep, all of
that happens here. The town was still in shock over everything, and I won't
lie; I was too.

Of course, my parents never came up here one time to see me. It kind of
made me feel sad, but you know, I should've expected it. It didn't really
matter, either, 'cause Alyson, Lily, Rachel, Alister, and Anna came up
frequently to visit Matt and me. We were in one of those cool rooms with a
large T.V. Another bonus was that Matt and I were in one of those rooms
with other patients, so it didn't really ever get boring.

Still, there was that one problem itching at my heart the whole time I was
there. I know that I love Matt, so why can't I just tell him? I mean, he
was barely ten feet away from me, in obvious earshot. It would be so easy
to just let the words out if it were anyone else, but not me. Never. It was
like I'd move my lips to speak, but no words would come forth.

I guess it didn't help that people kept coming in. I love that they care
about us so, and obviously they couldn't tell that I needed alone time, yet
I felt the need to be.. alone with him. Seriously, who proclaims their love
for someone right in front of their friends? I surely wouldn't.

So in all honestly, I never said it, and before I knew it, it was the night
before we were to be released. Visiting hours were over, yet Anna still
managed to get in. I assumed it was because she was Matt's sister, but you
never know; Anna is convincing anyway.

I pretended that I was asleep, telling myself that it was just so I
wouldn't seem intrusive, but really, I knew I was easvedropping. The only
light in the room was coming from a dim lamp on a small table near our
beds, and I feared I actually WOULD fall asleep. Contrary to popular
belief, hospital beds are comfortable, but that's beside the point, because
just then, Anna started talking.

"I talked to Alister." I heard her melodic voice say softly.

"About what?" Matt's deep, soft voice reverbrated around the room. I had
never really fathomed how he and Anna should be so.. close. But I also
always assumed that I'd never understand, because I haven't any siblings of
my own.

"A lot of things.. but there's something you need to know."

"What's wrong?" he sounded bothered.

"I..."

"Come on Anna, spit it out."

"I'm in love with Alister." Her voice almost cracked. I was surprised I
didn't gasp on the spot as well.

"WHAT!?" Matt said loudly.

"Shh! You'll wake Ryker up!"

"I may have a fucked up my shoulder, but I only need one arm to--"

"Be quiet, won't you? Why do you have to act like a dick all the time?" she
whispered furiously.

"I don't! And I don't appreciate you calling me that!"

"Well, welcome to my world; I don't appreciate the thought of my brother
cracking my crush's skull!" They successfully began to bring their noise
levels down, but I could still hear them, those tricky dogs. Wow, did I
just say that? I'm so weird.

"You're in love with a guy that has treated Ryker AND me like shit for the
past month."

"Alister learned a lesson from the school shooting; didn't you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Matt, all of our lives could have ended that day. How do you think Alister
would've felt if both of his childhood best friends had died, and the last
words that he had had with them were, 'Do not talk to me, you filthy
bug!'?"

"IF he were human, he'd feel pretty bad."

"I can't believe you." she said curtly, suddenly getting up. Matt grabbed
her wrist softly with his uninjured arm.

"Anna.. don't go yet."

"It's just that.." I heard her swallow a few times. Was she crying? "I've
been trying so hard to let you know.. I don't know how much more of this I
can take. Having you and Alister despise each other day in and day out is
almost like how it was when Dad--"

"Hey, come on.." I saw Anna sit back down on Matt's outstretched leg, since
the generically small beds didn't provide enough room for two. "Look sis,
I'll get over it. You know how guys are.. we have to feel like we're better
than the next guy."

"You boys are so dumb." Her voice cracked just as before, however I was
sure that if she were crying now, it was from joy.

"We always will be." he grinned softly.

"So hey.. about you and Ryker, then?"

"I love him more than anything in this world, but how can I tell him that
without scaring him off?" he asked rhetorically. I wanted to just jump up
and scream my feelings out, but I decided that wouldn't be a good idea.

"But Ryker isn't.."

"Isn't what?"

"He's more.. withdrawn, you know?"

He sighed. "Yeah, you're right." It hurt to just lay there and not say
anything, but I couldn't just butt in.

"Why don't you talk with him?" she asked Matt.

"That'll go over well. 'Hey Ryker, I'm in love with you. What's your
favorite kind of ice-cream?'"

"Not the best pick up line." She stifled a giggle.

"I know. I may be gay, but I'm still a male.. ergo horrible dating skills."

"I'm sure you're not that bad. Just give it time."

"Yeah.. time." He sounded distant, as if he weren't really listening to
Anna at all.

"But hey, I should probably go. Alister's waiting on me."

"I'm gonna have a talk with that boy-"

"Yeah yeah, see you tomorrow." I saw her bend down and hug him. Hm, Matt's
other arm still worked perfectly.. bad fantasies! Being a teenager
sucks. Seriously, who needs all these hormones?



Author's Note: Sorry readers, but I just don't have the time to continue
writing with school going on. I've caught myself putting off studying to
write numerous times, and I just can't do that.