Date: Fri, 20 Apr 2007 15:44:59 -0400
From: ronyx <ronyx@woh.rr.com>
Subject: Taking Off the Mask  Chapter 9

The following is a work of fiction. Any similarities to anyone are purely
coincidental. The story is intended for a mature audience. It may contain
profanity and references to gay sex. If this offends you, please leave
and find something more suitable to read. The author maintains all rights
to the story. Do not copy or use without written permission. Write Ron at
ronyx@woh.rr.com with your comments.  Ronyx is a Nifty prolific writer.

You can help keep Nifty a free site.  Please visit their home page and
find out how you can make a generous donation.



Taking Off the Mask             Chapter 9



Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we
cannot live within. James Baldwin



"God, James," exclaimed a very upset Jackie. "I'm so sorry. Do you
think she'll accept it?" I had just told Jackie about my mother
discovering that I was gay last night.

I had met her on the steps as she came walking down the sidewalk. My
mother wasn't home when I got up, and I had to fix breakfast for Janet
and make sure she got safely on her school bus.

"I don't know," I said sadly. "She wasn't home this morning, so I
didn't get a chance to see how she reacted. If you could have seen how
hurt she was, though. I don't think she hates me, but I don't think
she's going to ever accept this."

"She'll come around," replied Jackie, trying to sound upbeat. "She's
always been understanding before. Remember when you thought you wanted to
be an astronaut a few years ago, and she paid to send you to Space Camp
that summer? She didn't get mad after she spent all that money, and you
came home and told her you would rather be a lawyer."

"Yeah, but is a little different," I said. "This is more than a kid
making his twentieth career change in a month." Jackie nodded in
agreement.

I worried all the way to school if I would run into Donovan. The last
time I saw him, he was sprawled out on the floor from the punch by Roy.
With his social standing among other students, he could make my life hell
for the remaining years of high school. I had always been a rather
unknown student in school. Now others would look at me as Donovan's
ex-boyfriend. I had to laugh to myself. I hadn't even had a chance to be
his boyfriend.

When I walked down the hallway to my locker, several students, who had
been at Sylvia's party, stopped and looked at me. They then turned and
began talking animatedly. I knew they were talking about me.

"Isn't that him?" I heard one girl ask another when I walked by.

"Yeah," she said. "That's him. Wait until Donovan sees him."

My heart began to pound when I heard her warning. I guess Jackie heard it
too, because she reached down and grabbed my hand.

I noticed several more students staring at me. Some hadn't even attended
the party; so I assumed that word was quickly spreading around the
school. I found it ironic that Sylvia's parties were rampant with
drinking and sex, but no one ever talked about that. But for some reason,
what had happened between me and Donovan was suddenly the topic of
conversation.

The rest of the morning was the same. I tried to keep a low profile; but
in every class I attended, it seemed that someone from the party was
there. I could see students watching me out of the corner of their eyes,
and then whisper something to someone else. They would then look back
over at me.

One of the students was a girl who I remembered having sex with a boy by
the patio. I wanted to stand and shout, "You fucking hypocrite. You get
drunk and have sex with a guy you probably didn't even know, but you
have the audacity to whisper about me behind my back."

On the way to my third period class, I stopped by the office to see Mr.
Marshall. He wasn't in, but the secretary asked me if I wanted to leave
a message. I told her to tell him that I didn't want to be the manager
of the basketball team. I left without giving her a reason.

I met up with Jackie at lunch. I wanted to skip and go to the library;
but I knew that sooner or later I'd have to face Donovan. I went through
the line and got my usual generic slice of pizza, chips and a soda.

"How's your morning been?" She asked as soon as I sat down.

"Just great," I said sarcastically. "I hate this school. Everyone is
such a hypocrite."

"Not everyone is." I heard a voice behind me say. I turned and saw Roy
standing behind me. "Can I sit down?"

"Yeah, sure," I replied. I was a little overwhelmed that he had come
over to our table. Usually, he sits at the jock's table with Donovan.

"You alright, Buddy?" he asked, looking at the bruise on the side of my
face. "Was everything alright when you got home?"

"Yeah," I said. "Why aren't you with Donovan?" I looked over and saw
him sitting with his friends. He glanced over at me, but quickly looked
away.

"I'm not exactly on his best friend's list right now," he replied.
"When he woke up Sunday morning and saw the black eye I gave him, he
kind of disinherited me as his best friend for a while." I gave him a
questioning look when he started laughing. "It usually lasts about a day
or two, and then he'll start talking again."

"Is he mad at me?" I questioned.

"Why should he be?" Roy asked. "You're the one who should be pissed,
not Donovan. Fuck him. He was wrong for what he did."

"But everyone's been talking about me behind my back all morning," I
said. "I didn't do anything."

"Oh that," he laughed. "They do that at all Sylvia's parties. They
have to build it up so everyone will have something to look forward to
for the next one."

"So they're not mad at me?" This whole thing was becoming more
bizarre.

"Are you kidding?" he laughed again. "You're hot right now. You're
the first guy to tell Donovan `no'. He's always had everything he
wants. They enjoyed seeing him being rejected."

"Ouch!" I screamed. Jackie had just kicked me under the table.

"Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend," she smiled sweetly
at me, and then she looked over at Roy and batted her eyes.

"Roy, this is MY disinherited best friend, Jackie." I said. I watched
as Jackie stared into Roy's eyes and then offered her hand to him.

"It's so nice to meet you, Roy," she took his hand and held it.

"Nice to meet you too, Jackie." I couldn't believe it when he
continued to hold her hand and stare into her eyes.

I thought I was going to get sick when he said in a husky voice, "Where
have you been all my life, Pretty Lady?" Jackie withdrew her hand and
began to blush.

"I've been here," she giggled shyly. "You just haven't been
looking."

"Well, I'm looking now," he put his elbows on the table and put his
head in his hands and continued to stare at Jackie. She blushed and cast
her eyes down at the table.

"Jesus, guys," I moaned. "Get a room."

"Maybe I should call you tonight and discuss how we are going to handle
being disinherited friends, "he said. He pulled out his cell phone and
asked for Jackie's number. It amazed me when she actually gave him the
right number. I had always heard that girls give a wrong number to a guy
just to stop him from asking.

"Well, I'd better go," Roy said. "I'll call you tonight." He said
to Jackie before getting up and returning to the jock table. I noticed
that he didn't sit beside Donovan.

"Oh, my God, James," shrieked Jackie, as she grabbed my arm and cut my
circulation off with her tight grip. "Roy Reed is going to call me. I
think I'm going to die right here."

"Good," I said sarcastically. "Then I won't have to hear you carry on
about it."

"I've listened to you carry on about Donovan for weeks," she replied.
I gave her a deadly look. "Alright, sorry. But please, please, please!
I'm going to go crazy if I don't talk about this." I rolled my eyes
and smiled. She proceeded for the next ten minutes to talk about how
wonderful a guy Roy was. I listened attentively.

I was happy for Jackie. It was the first time a boy had ever shown
interest in her. It was true. She had been there for the past two years
when I raved about this guy or that. It was the least I could do and
indulge her.

When the bell rang ending lunch, I watched as Jackie walked out of the
cafeteria walking on air. I said a silent prayer that she and Roy could
get together. I loved Jackie like a sister, and I had a feeling that Roy
was a really nice guy- even if he was a little jaded by being Donovan's
best friend.

As I was heading to class, a hand grabbed my shoulder and pulled me into
a nearby boys' restroom. Once inside, I turned to confront the person-
it was Donovan.

"What do you want?" I asked angrily. I balled my fist up to defend
myself if I had to. I knew he could probably kick my ass all over the
room, but I was determined that this time I would protect myself.

"Chill, James," he said softly, throwing up his hands to indicate he
wasn't going to hit me. "I just want to talk to you."

"There's nothing to talk about," I said coldly. "I think I know what
you want."

He pushed me gently, and then he pinned me against the wall. "I'm
sorry," he said. "I was drunk. I didn't mean to hurt you." He leaned
down and attempted to kiss me. I slid under his arms and headed for the
door.

"Can't we talk about this?" he asked.

"No, Donovan." I was beginning to become emotional. I didn't like the
fact that we were alone in the restroom with no one else around. He had
already tried to hurt me once, and I had no idea what he was capable of
doing. "I don`t want to see you again." I opened the door and ran to
my next class.

About half way through the class, an aide came to the door and told the
teacher that Mr. Marshall wanted to see me. I knew he wanted to ask me
about resigning my position as manager.

"Come in." He motioned me into his office when I appeared at the door.
I sat down and fidgeted in my chair as he studied me.

"Why did you tell the secretary this morning that you didn't want to be
manager anymore?" he asked.

"It's personal, Mr. Marshall." I told him. "I'd rather not give a
reason."

"Does it have to do with the rumors I've heard going around school
today?" he asked. My head shot up and I looked surprised by his
statement. I sat stunned, not sure what to say. I didn't know just how
much he knew.

"Would you like to talk about it?" He asked in a fatherly manner.

"No, Sir," I replied quickly. "I'd just don't want to be manager
anymore."

"Very well, James," he said, still studying me. "But if you have any
problems, you come see me right away."

"Yes, Sir," I said as I got up and walked out of his office. I think he
was aware of the seriousness of the situation involving Donovan, but it
really wasn't a school matter. I also had a feeling he didn't know how
to handle it; therefore, if I said nothing, then he wouldn't have to
deal with it.

As I was going to my locker at the end of the day, I passed Dion in the
hall. He looked at me, and it appeared he wanted to speak. But instead,
he hung his head and walked past me without saying anything.

On the way home, Jackie talked endlessly about Roy. I realized that I
must have sounded just as irritating rambling on about the boys I liked.
She must have been a true friend to listen to me for so long.

"Oh, my God," she shrieked. "What am I going to say when he calls me
tonight?"

"How about Hello?" I joked.

"I've never done this before," she said nervously. "Sure, we've
talked for hours on the phone, but you're nobody."

"Thanks, Jackie, "I tried to sound insulted.

"You know what I mean," she replied. "What if I say the wrong thing
and he doesn't talk to me again."

"Just be yourself," I assured her, "and he'll like what he sees." We
had arrived at my house. I gave her a hug and told her to call me later.

Surprisingly, my mother still wasn't home when I went in. It was rare
for her not to greet me and my sister when we got in from school. I went
to the kitchen to see if she had left a note, but there was nothing. I
made a sandwich and went to my room.

I was playing a video game when I heard the front door open. "James,
come down stairs," my mother hollered out. I headed downstairs and found
her sitting at her desk. She gave me a warm smile when she saw me.

"Hello, Sweetie," she said cheerfully.

"What is it Mom?" I asked. I couldn't figure out why she was so happy;
especially, since the last time I saw her she was crying.

"Come here." She opened out her arms and I walked over and she embraced
me. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight. She let me go and
then pointed for me to take a seat.

"Guess where I've been today?" I gave her a blank look and shrugged my
shoulders.

"With Mrs. Grimwald." I again gave her a blank look. The only Grimwald
I knew was Agatha. I couldn't figure out why she would be talking to her
mother.

"I guess this isn't making much sense, is it?" she laughed. I shook my
head.

"Mrs. Grimwald is the president of the local chapter of PFLAG." She
informed me. "Her daughter, I believe, is in your class."

"Agatha's gay?" I asked excitedly.

"Oh, no," she laughed, "but her older brother is. Anyway, after
talking to you last night, I had a lot of questions. So this morning I
contacted PFLAG and talked to Samantha, Mrs. Grimwald. It was very
enlightening."

I continued to sit and look at her, not knowing if I was to say anything
or just listen. I opted to listen.

"We met at her home, and then ended up going out to lunch," she said.
"Afterwards, she took me to her son's apartment. I met Gerald and his
partner, William."

"That's nice," I said, again not knowing what I was expected to say.

"I was so busy thinking about myself and how much you being gay affected
me, that I didn't stop to think how it would be for you," my mother
admitted.

"Gerald opened up my eyes to what you're facing right now." Tears
began to appear in her eyes. "This is hard on me, but I can't even
begin to imagine what you must be going through." She stood and walked
over to me and pulled me up. I wrapped my arms around her and we both
cried softly.

"You're going to have to be patient with me," she pulled me back and
looked into my misty eyes. "This is new to me; and to be quite honest, I
really don't know how to react."

"It's not that easy for me, either," I confessed.

"Do you need to see a psychiatrist?" she asked worriedly.

"No, Mom," I laughed. "I just meant it's not easy to be a gay boy,
when it seems like the rest of the world isn't."

"You'd be surprised," she responded. "Samantha says that about ten
percent of the population may be gay. Here." She grabbed some pamphlets
off her desk and handed them to me.

"What's this?" I asked, thumbing through the material.

"It's some things Mrs. Grimwald told me to give you." She informed me.
"I read most of them during lunch." Most of the material was about
coming out, or growing up gay. I had read a lot of it on the internet
last year when I suspected that I was gay.

"How do you know you're gay?" she asked seriously. "Have you had sex
with a boy yet?"

"Mom!" I shrieked. "Why are you asking me this?" I know my face had
turned about ten shades of red. Besides, I'd only had sex with Donovan;
and considering the situation, I didn't even want to count it.

"I was just wondering is all." she replied. "How do you know that you
are gay?"

"I just know, alright?" I said embarrassedly. I didn't want to tell
her about all the times I'd masturbated thinking about boys in my class.
There are just some things you can't tell your mom.

"Does anyone else know?" she asked.

"Jackie," I said. "She's known for about two years."

"My word," she said surprisingly. "You could tell Jackie but you
couldn't say anything to me?"

"I was going to someday," I assured her. "I just didn't know how
you'd take it."

"I guess I acted foolishly yesterday," she replied. "No wonder you
didn't feel you could trust me."

"It's alright, Mom," I said. "At least you're trying to
understand."

"I am, Honey." She reached over and took my hand. "Just give me some
time." I nodded my head. I felt fortunate that I had a mother who was
willing to face what had to be a disappointment, and try to make the
situation better.

"Is Jackie a lesbian?" She questioned. "I've never seen her with a
boy other than you. " My eyes flew open, and then I started laughing
hysterically.

"No, Mom," I cried as tears rolled down my face from laughing so hard.
"Jackie is not a lesbian."

"Well, good," she sighed. "And to think that I used to worry that
you'd get her pregnant because you two always seemed so close." This
statement made me laugh even harder. I couldn't wait to tell Jackie what
my mother had said.

After we laughed a few minutes, she looked at me and said, "I want you
to meet Samantha, Gerald and his boyfriend soon. I think you'll like
them."

"I'd like that," I responded. It might be interesting to actually meet
a real gay couple.

"And I talked to one of my editors today," she said. "I'm going to do
a story on PFLAG. I didn't realize what a wonderful organization it is.
I even told Samantha that I would attend their next meeting."

I gave my mother a worried look. I knew how obsessive she could become
over something. I could see it in her eyes. She was going to be one of
those crusading mothers, defending gay teens from a discriminating world.
Knowing her, in a year she would probably run against Mrs. Grimwald for
president.

She suddenly became quiet and looked worriedly at me. "I never did find
out what happened at the party Saturday night. I overheard some of your
conversation with Jackie. Did Donovan hurt you?" She looked at the
bruise on the side of my face.

I sat quietly for a minute, looking down at the floor. I didn't want to
tell her what happened, because I was afraid she'd want to call the
police. I also knew that she could tell when I was lying to her, so I
knew if I made up something she would know. Finally, I looked into her
eyes and spoke.

"Will you just trust me?" I asked. "Something happened, but I really
don't want to tell you. I am alright. Please?" A stern look came over
her face, then I saw her appear to mellow.

"You're becoming a man," she said. "Someday you will have to make
your own decisions, and I'm going to have to accept them whether I like
it or not. Are you sure he didn't hurt you?" I looked her directly in
the eyes and nodded.

"Alright, then," she said. "I'll not pry right now. But if I find out
that something did happen that warrants my attention, then all bets are
off. Do you understand?" I nodded.

"Thanks, Mom." We both arose from our chairs and embraced. As I held
her, I considered myself one of the luckiest boys alive. I had a mother
who not only loved me; but accepted that I was gay and trusted me.

That evening Mom took me and Janet out for dinner. She let Janet choose
where we would eat, since I had decided the last time. Unfortunately, she
wanted McDonalds. My mother was offering to buy her whatever she wanted,
and she chose a Big Mac with fries.

Jackie must have been looking out her window for us to come home, because
I had no sooner gotten in my room when my cell phone rang.

"He hasn't called yet!" she screamed. "I just knew it was too good to
be true." I could tell that she was crying.

"It is still early," I said, trying to make her feel better. It was
only a little after eight. I muttered a few silent words to Roy. He may
be much larger than me; but if he hurt Jackie's feelings, I was
determined to do my best to hurt him.

"I'm going to die an old maid," she lamented. "I'm giving up on
boys."

"Aren't you overreacting," I said. "He said he'd call you and he
will. Maybe something came up, or he forgot your number."

"He put it in his cell phone," she said sadly. "He probably erased it
as soon as he got home. I'm never going to talk to another boy again."

"Jackie, please," I begged. I was trying my best to be a sympathetic
friend, but I felt I was wasting my time." "Maybe.."

"Oh, my God, James!" She shrieked. " I've got another call coming in.
It's him!" Suddenly, the phone disconnected. I smiled down at the
phone.

I pulled my geometry book out of my book bag and lay down on the bed. I
was working on the first problem when my phone rang. I picked it up,
expecting it to be Jackie.

"Hey." I recognized Donovan's voice immediately.

"Why are you calling me?" I asked nervously.

"I wanted to talk to you," he replied. "You did walk out on me today
without giving me a chance to explain."

"What's to explain, Donovan?" I was becoming irritated. He had trapped
me at school, and now he was calling my home.

"Won't you give me another chance?" His voice sounded sincere, but I
knew what he was really like.

"Why?" I asked. "I'm not even your type."

"That's just it," he replied. "You're not like the other guys I've
been with. I really felt something between us. Chemistry."

"The only thing I felt was you trying to force your cock in my ass! Fuck
you, Donovan!" I shouted into the phone and then turned it off. I put
the ringer on silent so I couldn't hear it ring in case he tried to call
back.

I finished my homework, and then I tried to call Jackie, but her phone
was busy. I tried several more times and kept getting a busy signal. I
guess Roy had called her, and they had broken the ice. I was happy for
her. I went to bed knowing that she would probably give me a word for
word replay the next morning.

When I awoke, I turned my cell phone on and checked to see if anyone had
called me. There was a text message from Jackie telling me she'd see me
in the morning. There was also a text message from Donovan.

NO 1 TALKS TO ME LIKE THAT BITCH

__________________________________

Read more stories by Ronyx:  www.themustardjar.com

Email comments to:  ronyx@woh.rr.com