Date: Thu, 8 Feb 2001 11:19:18 EST
From: Michael <Jarnac5@aol.com>
Subject: Tender kiss

      I always check my email as soon as I get home from school, I want to
know who emailed me, who didn't.....most of all, I want to find someone to
love. Right now you have me pegged as one of those guys who ask to cyber with
you, and then send you messages saying "I love You"  17 times a day.  Well,
I'm not. I've also never met anyone offline, but I'm still hoping.

      I've known I was gay for about two years, but no one else does. Let me
describe myself a little, it's always good to get an image in your head,
especially with this kind of story. I'm 6'2", with short light brown hair,
hazel/green eyes, and a tanned, smooth body that I spend a lot of time toning
with the weights in the garage-turned-gym that we converted last year.  I
used to look pretty gawky, but now even I think I look pretty hot. If only I
had someone to share it with.

      At my school, there aren't any gay people....except a couple of
teachers and the kid that runs the GSA, but everyone in the school knows
about him, that's too dangerous.  So let me tell you about what I know you're
interested in, when I actually met a guy at this cool youth group that meets
in my city, which I found thanks to an online database. And they say the
internet can't bring you happiness, well it brought me the chance to be
myself.

      His name was Cole, and he was like my fantasy come true. I sneaked out
of the house one night to go to a support group for gay youth.  And there was
Cole, 18, with a buff body full of smooth rippling muscles. He had on tight
shiny blue pants and a thin white club shirt.  He was so hot, with a tan just
a shade lighter than mine and hair a shade darker. He was about 6ft.  And he
was leading the youth group.....I was pretty nervous, first in this room with
a bunch of gay and bisexual people, and one guy was even in drag!!!  To top
that off, this hunk of a man kept smiling at me supporitvely.  I wanted
support but I wanted him even more!

      It got to be my turn to speak and I said, "My name is Jarrin, and I
just came here to see what it's all about."  Cole flashed me this smile that
made me want collapse in bliss. After the meeting, Cole came up to me.

      "Hey Jarrin, I'm really glad you came. Will you be here next week?"
 His voice seemed eager for me to say yes.

      "I want to, but my brother is going to Miami next weekend, and he's
borrowing my car." I smiled shyly, the dimples that curse me to be compared
to Shirely Temple went deep in my cheeks.

      "I'll be more than happy to pick you up," offered Cole, who totally
embodied my vision of male beauty.

      "Okay, I'll meet you at the fountain in front of the mall at 6pm on
Sunday." I was about to start getting drool on his shoes, so I quickly fled
from him and into my car, where my erect dick could be more easily hidden.

      "See you then."

      I fantasized all week about the glorious Cole.....who thought that one
syallble could be the answer to a feverent prayer.  I had to jack off three
times on Sunday to make sure I wouldn't get a hard on the first moment I saw
him.

      I stood waiting nervously at the mall, hoping no one could read my
thoughts and know that I was waiting for a gay guy. And there he came,
striding confidently through the parking lot. With tan colored clothes that
appeared to be loose, but occasionally stretched tight across his perfect
chest and abs. We exchanged pleasantries, and then we walked back to his car.

      I couln't believe it, he had a rainbow sticker on his car and a
half-dozen bumber stickers with witty sayings about gay stuff or about
different organizations.  I looked around again, praying that no one would
see me get into this car.  He caught my wide eyes and I felt stupid.  Once in
the car he put his hand over mine.

      "I know what it's like to be in the closet, it's hard. Let me know if I
can help you out in any way." Cole said, his voice tender and caring, not
realizing his hand burned mine with his gentle warmth and that despite my
precautions, my male member was straining against my pants.

      The meeting that night must have been great, because everyone was
laughing and having fun with all the game and activities. I was in a daze,
and that daze was called Cole. I kept thinking what would happen when he
drove me home. My body was starting to hurt from aching for a man so much.  I
did some stretching afterwards to ease the some tension, my muscles moving
smoothly with the coordination I had worked so hard for.  Some of the younger
guys stared at me, and I was puzzled until I realized they thought I was hot.
I'm still not used to peope looking at me like that.

      Cole came up to me, and put his arm around my shoulder. "Ready to go?"
  I nodded yes, too unsteady to trust my voice.  He was touching me again!

      "I noticed you were distracted during the meeting, is there something
on your mind?" His voice was full of concern and he looked at me intently,
letting me know verablly and silently that I could talk to him.

      I swallowed nervously and by the time we had gotten in the car, I
decided to take a chance. "It's just really hard, not being out.  I can't
tell anyone all these feelings I have pent up. The world is made for straight
people and all we can do is cope. I don't feel like a whole person sometimes,
I'm 18 and almost out of high school.....and I have never had a real kiss or
have been able to be truly honest with anyone." I was close to crying at this
time, and extremely embearassed. And just like one of those romantic movies
where you know it would be too obvious for a kiss, but you hope for it
anyways, I looked up into his amazing blue eyes.

      Cole looked into my eyes, his face full of pain because of my hurt. He
got past all that, smiled a smile the encompassed understanding, pain,
acceptance, and hope. He gently wrapped one arm around my back, took the
other and softly pushed my chin up. He leaned down, his soft lips first
brushing mine, then connecting full on, a gentle probing of his tongue
slipping in my between my lips, an insistent pressure on my mouth. He pushed
his body towards me as I pulled him close. I could feel his hard strength
pressing against my body, as mine pressed tightly against his. His hands
moved slowly and along my body, stroking with a light touch made all the more
erotic.

      He disengaged first and asked me, "Are you okay?" he sounded unsure of
himself, like he wanted more and felt guilting for taking what he had. I
smiled, suddenly more sure because of his hestitancy.

      "I feel wonderful. I really like you, do we need to stop?" I asked,
running my hands across his forearms, and licking my lips to remember the
taste of his sweet mouth upon mine.

      "No."

      That was the last word that was uttered between us for the next 15
minutes. Sounds of pleasure, moans and gasps of delight were exchanged.  He
directed me with the subte twist of his body or the touch of a hand.  I
wanted all of him, I wanted to know every thought in his mind and every inch
of his hard musceled body covered with the softest skin. He held me back,
sweetly torturing me with his breath on my neck, gently nibbling on the ear,
while feeling his  warm moist breath on me. It sent shivers of pleasure down
my body, my hard dick kept reaching the point of almost orgasm, and was then
calmed down to merely swelled desire.

      I did the same to him, went at his neck like the world's softest
vampire. Gently biting and kissing.  Stroking his body with desire, I would
ouline his muscles....slowly inching my way to his ass, feeling it's firmness
beneath his pants. When I let my hand start to creep down his back, inside
his pants....he stopped me. Gently removing my hand, and placing it on top of
his hard shaft, above his pants.  I nearly fainted when my hand felt
him......I could sense his willingness, his passion and desire for me.. I
kissed him deeply on the mouth, my tongue on a crusade to feel and memorize
every part of his tongue, every tooth, every crevice in his sweet mouth that
it could.

      After a while, he drove me home. We held hands the whole way.....I
stroked his arm and fingers, briefly at a stop light, putting his longest
finger in my warm, wet mouth, sucking and licking, and he groaned softly, his
thick member pulsating against the tight fabric of his pants.

      As we neared my house, I gave him a deep and sensual kiss, using
everything he had taught me in our brief time together.  He looked at me in
amazement, and laughed.

      "You learn fast, I think you're better than me.  Here's my phone
number, call me tonight, I'll get home in about 10 minutes.  You're awesome."

      Cole was smiling wide as he said all this in his eager tone, usually
reserved for talking about gay rights.

      "Here's mine, I"ll call you tonight.  Thank you," I said, it could be
meant for giving me a ride, but I meant it for opening my eyes.....and my
mouth.