Date: Wed, 20 Oct 2010 23:01:50 -0700
From: David Courson <dsc110875@hotmail.com>
Subject: The Boy Who Cried Sapphire Tears 3
To Jarod, Vann and George, thanks for all the work you do to help me
out. I really do appreciate all you do.
To Lucky, a special thanks for helping with this chapter. You
helped me out a lot and I really do value your suggestions and the new
friendship.
To the readers. I know I say the same thing every time, but it's
very true. Without you guys letting me know how much you have grown to
love the story, how much you feel conflicted with the characters, and just
telling me thanks for writing it, I probably wouldn't have come as far as I
have with Todd and Blake. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart for the
support you have shown me throughout the Quarterback series.
And don't forget to check out the Facebook group page. Do a search
for QBWTEE, and you'll find it.
The Boy Who Cried Sapphire Tears -- Part 3
Monday came around and Blake was at the farm at 5:25 ready for work.
Though it was only thirty minutes difference, Blake could already tell that
it was going to be harder to be at work at 5:30 every morning. For the
first time since he started work he actually considered moving up to the
ranch. Before he could think anymore about it he heard his name being
called. He looked up and saw Jackson at the door of the barn waiting on
him.
"Mornin' sunshine," Jack said.
Finishing a yawn, Blake said, "Mornin' yourself."
"C'mon, Thomas wants you to work with me again this week."
"Cool. What are you gonna show me today?" Blake asked.
"How to clean the stables," Jack said and smiled at Blake.
Jack took Blake over to the tool closet and got the items they were
going to need.
"What's the bucket for?" Blake asked after Jack had given it to him
to carry.
"Manure. We don't throw it away. We save it for Mama's garden and
sell some of it too."
"Horseshit? You actually save horseshit?" Blake asked.
"Hell, yeah! It's great fertilizer, at least, after a few months.
Of course, you know that," Jack said, then looked over at Blake.
Blake had a look on his face that told Jack he had just heard about
it for the first time. "C'mon, you know that horse manure is fertilizer,
right?"
"I'm a city boy, remember?" Blake said.
"Wow, you sure got a lot to learn. Did you see the square bins back
behind the hay barn?"
Thinking about it, Blake had seen about twenty square bins, covered
with blue plastic tarps. "Yeah."
"That's where the compost is. See, we take the manure, along with
any horse hairs from grooming, some of the soiled hay from the bins, grass
clippings and such, along with any leftover food, coffee grounds, tea
leaves, and other things, and throw them in one of the bins. We turn it
every week, mixing the bottom and the top, add water when needed to keep it
moist, and in about six weeks, we got fertilizer. Basically, it turns into
soil-like dirt, full of nutrients."
"I never knew that. I wondered what you guys did with the manure."
"Well, now you know. C'mon, let's get started."
Their first task was to remove all of the horses from their stalls
and place them in the holding pens. They moved all but Lucifer. They
decided to wait for Amy to move him. Jack then went through the steps
Blake needed to clean and prepare the stalls for the horses. Jack showed
him the first stall, had Blake help with the next two stalls, then finally
had Blake do the forth stall on his own.
"Looks, good," Jack praised.
"It seems pretty easy after you know what you're doing," Blake said.
"Good. I want you to work on one more, and then breakfast will be
ready," Jack said.
They moved over to the next stall and Blake did it all himself. He
didn't have to ask Jack any questions. Although, at the end, Jack did have
to remind Blake of a couple things he did forget, but overall, he was
pleased with Blake's work.
Over the week, Blake pretty much got the hang of the grooming,
mucking, even riding the horses. Come Thursday, Thomas even showed him how
to saddle the horses. By the end of the second week he knew everything
there was to know about taking care of the ranch, at least, the horse end
of it. Now he made it a point to get to know the other hands better.
Going in on Saturday, he knew that Jack had asked for this weekend
off so he figured Amy was a good place to start getting to know some of the
other staff. He met up with her at the barn and wished her a good morning.
She was a short woman, standing about five foot five, with a bigger frame
than most women, but she had a solid body. There was more muscle on her
than fat and a few of the drunk guys in town found out the hard way that
you don't mess with Amy, unless she wanted to be messed with.
She had a head of chestnut brown hair that fell straight to her
shoulders. She never allowed it to get longer because she hated long hair.
She wasn't a girly girl, by her own admission, and real feminization of her
never happened. She loved being a woman who loved women, but she could
never get comfortable with dresses or long hair. Her eyes were a dull
hazel that gave off a bit of mystery about her; almost like when she told
you the truth, you wondered, looking into her eyes, if that was the whole
truth or was she holding something back. But when she smiled, you never
doubted her. She had the biggest and brightest smile on the farm. When
she smiled, she could make you feel the warmth of the sun.
"Morning to you, too. Did you get enough rest?" she asked.
"Not really. I think I might just have to move up here," Blake
replied.
"Hey, the more the merrier. There's an empty room, just waiting to
be occupied."
"I know, I just don't want my cousins feeling like I used them for a
stop over," he said.
"From the little I've heard about them, it seems like they'd
understand. Early morning, long hours. I really don't think anyone would
blame you for it."
"Maybe you're right. I'll have to talk to them sometime this week."
He waited for a response, but when none came, he asked what he was doing
this morning.
"You're with me, grooming."
"Great," he said, grabbing his grooming supplies and putting them in
his stall, then heading out and getting a horse.
Coming back with Strawberry, another horse named by Mama, he hooked
her up to the two straps to keep her in place then started his work. About
ten minutes into working on Strawberry, he asked Amy a question about the
grooming, to make sure he was doing it right. After she affirmed that he
was, he started a conversation.
"So, how did you end up here?"
Amy stopped what she was doing and looked at Blake. He quickly
explained, "I don't mean to pry, I just wanted to get to know you a little
more. If I'm imposing, please don't answer the question."
"No, you're not imposing. It's just not that great of a story,
really."
"I can relate. My bad story is that I was thrown out after I came
out."
"Me, too," Amy said. "I was part of a big family. My parents had
seven kids, of which, I was the second to last. Three boys and three girls
and one dyke."
Blake smiled at her use of the word.
"Anyway, I was about twenty, and I knew I couldn't hide who I was
anymore, so I started getting careless. You know, always acting like I was
a straight kid. Dating the boys and such for appearances. Anyway, I met
this girl, who I thought was a lesbian. I thought from day one she was
flirting with me. The problem was... she wasn't. She just had a natural
flirtation about her.
"Anyway, after a couple weeks of hanging out, I asked her if she
wanted to go to Triangles with me, the gay club. She gave me the most
awkward look and asked why she would want to do that. I told her so we
could get to know other lesbians. She said she wasn't a lesbian and right
then, I knew I had messed up. Well, that put me on pins and needles for a
week, thinking she was going to do something, like tell my parents or my
brothers and sisters. Come to find out, she didn't do anything.
"About a month had passed and nothing bad was happening, so I decided
to go check out Triangles by myself. I had a great time. I danced, made
out with a cute girl, and got really drunk. When I came home that night, I
was lucky enough to sneak into my room and get to bed without waking
anyone. The next morning, my parents woke me and screamed at me for hours.
They had found a napkin from the bar with the girl's name and number on it
in my jeans."
"Oh, my God," Blake said.
"Yeah. They wanted to know everything. Where I was, what I did, who
I met and everything. I finally got so tired of it; I told them the truth
plus I think I was still a little drunk at the time. It's still kinda
fuzzy in my head. So, their solution was to send me to the church for
counseling. I went for a couple months and then finally I stopped. They
took that as a sign from me that I wasn't trying anymore. They didn't
understand that I couldn't change who I was. Finally, my dad kicked me out
and then they made me get up in front of the council at church and they
threw me out of the church, too."
"You mean to tell me," Blake started, for he never heard such a
thing. "A church actually threw you out and told you not to come back?"
"Exactly. There are no `gay' Mormons, they told me. They don't
allow people who are gay to be a member of their church. It goes against
God and yada, yada, yada. I didn't care. I was happy to be out on my own,
but before I left, I told everyone of those members to fuck off. I didn't
need them, nor did I need their church. I believed in God and I knew he
was going to look out for me."
"Ain't that the truth," Blake said.
"So, I got my things together, packed my car, and started heading
east. Just so happens that Missoula is on I-80 and I stopped there for a
couple nights and saw an advertisement for horse riding here at the ranch,
so I came up. While I was here, I overheard Mama ask if the ad for the job
was in the newspaper and I inquired about it...and the rest is history."
"When did all this happen?" Blake asked.
"About five years ago. Since then, I've only talked to one of my
brothers. We talk about once a month and he gives me any news of the
family. I keep him informed of what's going on with my life. It's not
ideal, but it works." Finishing her sentence, she also finished grooming
the horse she was working on. "Are you ready for another one?"
"I think I'll be done in about five minutes or so," Blake answered.
"Cool. I'll put Cobbler back in her pen, then go and grab two more
for us," she said, unhooking the horse from the straps.
"Great. Should be done by the time you get back," Blake said.
A few minutes later, Blake returned from putting his horse away only
to find another one in its place.
"So, what's your story? How did your parents find out?" Amy asked.
Blake told her the story of how his mother had grilled him about his
grades and how he broke down. He explained everything up until the time he
moved in with the Blyth's.
"So," Amy started, cautiously, "is Todd any part of the reason you
left Atlanta?"
Blake stopped his grooming and looked over at her.
"The other day at lunch, you said you really didn't know the story.
Does he have anything to do with it?"
Blake gave a small smile and said, "Yes and no. We had been dating
before I came out and after I moved in, the relationship just got stronger.
Then he went away to school."
"Where to?" she asked.
"New York. He's enrolled at NYU," he answered.
"But why did he do that? I mean, why didn't he just go to school in
Atlanta?" she inquired.
"Because I told him I would leave him if he did," Blake explained and
she gave him a quizzical look. "You see, it was his dream, since he was
little, to go to NYU. I told him if he altered that dream for me, I would
leave him so he had no choice but to go to New York. I guess I just didn't
realize how hard it would be for me when he did.
"I guess I kinda felt trapped in my life. He was off having a great
time, learning new things in and out of school and I was back in Atlanta
with the same ole routine. I just got..." Blake couldn't figure out the
right word, when Amy chimed in with one of her own.
"Bored?" she asked.
"I guess you could say that. It was the same thing, day in and day
out. Todd wasn't there and I just didn't... I don't know. I guess, in a
way, I got scared."
"Of what?" Amy asked.
"Turning into a house husband, before I got a chance to explore life
a little, I guess."
"How do you know you're gonna spend the rest of your life with Todd?"
Amy asked.
"Are you going to spend the rest of your life with Joan?" Blake asked
back.
"As far as I know," she responded.
"How do you know?" Blake asked, hoping she answered her own question.
"I see your point," she said. "Well, then, what would be so bad
about being a house husband?"
"I don't think there would be anything bad about it, but I just
wanted and needed my own adventure before I settled down."
"What about college?" she asked.
"One day, when I have enough money. Since I don't have parents
anymore, well, I gotta figure out how to pay for school first," Blake
explained.
"Well, you still have parents, they just don't like you. You could
always..."
"No," Blake said, cutting her off, "that's where you're wrong. My
parents actually signed away their rights to be my parents. We are, by
law, no longer related, except by blood, unfortunately so."
"Holy, shit, Blake! I'm sorry to hear that," she said, stopping her
work and facing him.
"It's okay. It hurt for a long time, but I'm over it now. Up until
the age of eighteen, Todd's parents were my legal guardians. Mom's a
lawyer so she made things happen pretty fast."
"So, then, doesn't that technically make Todd your brother?" she
asked, scratching her head.
"I don't even want to know the answer to that question," Blake said,
and laughed with Amy.
"So, how does Todd feel about you being here, instead of Atlanta?"
she asked.
"I don't know. I haven't talked to him yet, and don't plan to until
next month."
"I suppose you have a reason for that," Amy said.
"So he could get over his anger, hopefully. I left him a letter and
sent him a post card, but I don't have the same number and he doesn't know
the address."
"So, you left your boyfriend a note telling him goodbye, changed your
number, didn't leave a forwarding address, and you hope he can get over his
anger?" Amy asked, looking at Blake.
"I know, it was dumb, but I wasn't thinking, I guess."
"What if he's moved on? What if what you did cause him to hate you?"
"I don't even want to think about it," Blake said.
"No, c'mon, now, I'm just playing Devil's Advocate. What if he stops
loving you because of this? What are you going to do then?"
"I guess I'll just go on living my life," he said, exasperated,
feeling sad inside.
"You won't even fight for him?" she asked.
"How can I fight for something so I clearly did? I mean, I left him
to have my own adventure. If he leaves me, how can I tell him I made a
mistake and I want him back? Do you really think someone would take you
back after leaving them and then you telling them you made a mistake?"
"You could always leave now and go back home and tell him you made a
mistake. More of a chance he'd forgive you if you did," said Amy.
"And face Papa? I think I'm more scared of him at this point than at
losing Todd," Blake said.
"Mama would deal with Papa. If you really want Todd, you should do
the right thing and go back home," Amy said.
"And then I'd be failing myself. I know our situations are kind of
the same, but they're different, also. You didn't have anyone when you
left and I did. I know I should go home. I think every day that I will,
but I need to do this. If only for a year, I need to do it. I just hope,
when I do talk to Todd, he can see my point of view and not be so angry at
me."
"So, you expect him to just wait around for you?" she asked.
"That's what he was expecting of me," Blake said. "I know that I
made a decision which I might regret for the rest of my life, but I need to
find myself. Like I told a friend of mine, I need to discover who I am
before I can become a `we'."
Looking at Blake for another few seconds, she finally said, "Well,
Blake, I hope it all works out for you."
"Thanks, Amy. I do, too."
He finished up his horses and moved on to the other work that needed
to be done. In the process of working over the next week he learned that
Joan, Amy's girlfriend, was the only other person, besides Thomas and
Julie, who was from Montana. She was born and raised in Missoula and just
needed work and had applied. She had been working here for two years
before Amy showed up.
Joan was more of the girly-girl type; the complete opposite of Amy,
and that's what brought them together. Joan stood about five foot eight,
nice thin body with a larger chest, of which, Amy didn't have any
complaints. She had light brown, almost dirty blonde hair, which she liked
to keep in a pony tail, but when she let it down, the natural curls fell to
right above her breasts, drawing attention to her cleavage, which she loved
to show off. Her soft brown eyes were the color of warm molasses, and her
smile was just as bright as Amy's. These two girls were absolutely made
for each other.
Bruce and Dwight, as it turned out, were both from Seattle; but they
didn't meet until until Dwight arrived at the ranch. Bruce was visited at
the bookstore where he worked and Mama asked if there were any books about
Montana. After looking around, they struck up a conversation about the
state and the ranch that he and Papa were starting. Bruce showed interest
and Papa told him to call if he ever needed to get out of the big city and
move out to the country. A few months after Mama and Papa left, he called
and Papa gave him the details and two weeks later, he packed up and moved.
That had been sixteen years ago.
They, Mama and Papa, had first seen Bruce when he was about forty
pounds overweight, but since coming to the ranch, had lost the spare tire,
and a little more, to put him in the best shape of his life. At 48, he
stands about six foot one, weighing a buck eighty five. His short cropped
blonde hair, usually messy though natural looking, and it bled into his
slightly darker beard, which he refuses to get rid of no matter how much
Dwight disliked the roughness.
His warm green eyes made you realize you could trust him with
anything, and his smile, placed on a worn face, told you that he was about
as honest as anyone could be. The wrinkles of his face, well, he was proud
of them. They told people that he had lived. Before the bookshop, he had
had a few other odd jobs, here and there. He had never graduated from any
college, but by far, his favorite job was the farm. It was not just for
the horses and the food, but for the family he made here.
Dwight was a newer addition to the ranch. He met Mama and Papa after
another visit to Seattle. They were wrapping up their week and were back
at the airport when they ran across a young man, looking very distraught,
with tear stained cheeks. Mama, always wanting to help, walked up and
asked if he was okay.
He told them that he didn't know where to go, but he just had to
leave the city. He had everything packed in two bags and he needed to move
as far away as possible. When Mama inquired why, he explained that his
lover of a decade had just recently died of AIDS and that the memories of
Seattle were too much to handle.
Mama gave Papa a look and he relented, knowing exactly what Mama was
going to say. They paid for a plane ticket for Dwight and invited him to
live on the ranch for a while, until he figured out where he wanted to go.
Seven years and he's still with them. Blake also found out that when
Dwight was younger, he was a martial arts champion. He had learned karate,
kung fu, and some jiu-jitzu.
Being fast is what Dwight had said was the key to beating your
competitor; whether it be in the ring or on the streets. Because of this,
he kept his body in perfect condition. He stood about five foot ten and
the muscles resting on his body would make any Abercrombie and Fitch model
jealous. His body was so sculpted and perfect; but after working on it for
35 years; it was a routine that was as natural to him as the rising sun.
He would get up every morning at four am, and for the first thirty minutes,
he would do his exercises, then for the second half hour, he would run
along the horse trail, down into the field and back. For the remaining
thirty minutes before work was to start, he would meditate and get his body
focused and his mind clear and calm.
His mop of red hair, short cropped like a Marine, and blue eyes gave
him the look of a goofball. Kinda imagined he would have been the class
clown in high school, but it was the farthest from the truth. He was shy
and reserved until he started learning karate. After that, he started
having more confidence about himself and coming out of his shell, knowing
he could handle himself if he ever needed to. In high school, he wasn't
popular, but people knew who he was. They might have to have someone
remind them of his name when they saw him, but his days playing sports and
always showing off his karate moves when someone would ask, put his face
clearly in a column that people couldn't forget.
As it turned out, Charles and Miguel were the only two who came as a
couple, fourteen years ago. They were both getting burned out at their
jobs back in Phoenix and took a vacation to Montana. They had planned on
touring the state, but on the second night they ended up in Missoula and
saw a notice for horseback riding. When they arrived, they met Mama and
inquired about the horses.
They ended up having a long conversation after their ride and they
told Mama the reason for their vacation. They were looking to relocate and
then Mama told them of the business proposition for the ranch. They ended
up loving the idea and went home and sold everything and gave up the big
city for good. It also turns out that Miguel can actually speak English,
but he never studied the language and it embarrasses him when he speaks to
others in broken English, so that's why he prefers speaking Spanish.
They were both in their late 30's and both stood approximately six
foot tall. Miguel, being from Mexico, had jet black hair that fell down to
below his shoulder blades. It was the straightest hair that Blake had ever
seen. His body was in good shape, never really having to ever work at
keeping it. His daily farm chores kept him in shape or at least in
moderate shape.
His partner Charles, on the other hand, was as skinny as a rail. He
could eat and eat and never gain a pound. His perfect blond hair was
always the same length, having Miguel trim it for him every other week. He
also kept his fingernails very short, just a couple of centimeters past the
cuticles, but never past the end of his fingers. It was his professional
days that had made him so meticulous and he had never broken the habit, not
even after the eight years of working at Sapphire Fields.
Lindsey used to live in Los Angeles and about six years ago arrived
at the ranch. She had met Mama and Papa at the restaurant she was working
in, trying to make ends meet, while she waited for her big acting break.
She had the perfect acting `face' for Hollywood, and kept her body in
check, hoping to one day get noticed. She had beautiful brown hair, with
slight highlights mixed throughout, to make it look natural and baby blue
eyes that shone of innocence. Her five foot, eight inch frame weighing
only about 130 pounds had never caught anyone's eye in the movie business.
She had tried her hardest, going to open call auditions and working on her
agent to get her any job. She wasn't picky anymore. She just wanted her
big break, only it never came. Her agent basically charged her out the
wazoo, promising a big, lustrous career, only to have that agent be
arrested by the police for what turned out to be a fraud.
He had taken her and other `clients' for over a half a million
dollars before he was caught. With her hopes dashed and down to her last
three hundred bucks, she decided that LA was just too expensive for her.
She had seen a story on a news program about how a lot of girls looking for
the dream end up being prostitutes and she vowed that it wasn't going to
happen to her so she decided it was time to go. Trying to think of
someplace to go other than home, while she was packing, she came across the
business card Mama had given her and she called. A couple of days later,
she was the second to last person to show up for work on the ranch.
The only person who Blake couldn't get their story out of was
Jackson. He wanted to wait a while longer and get to know him better
before telling of his past. Blake thought it might help if he shared his
own story and while Jack was gracious for Blake doing so, he still wouldn't
budge. The only information he did release was that he was originally from
Ohio and when he was eighteen, he had moved to San Francisco to be with a
guy he met online. Come to find out, the picture the guy sent was about
thirty years younger than what he actually was.
Jack was angry for this because he had been completely honest with
the guy, Andy, he met online. They had exchanged pictures and the picture
that Andy had sent was of a twenties something young man in a football
jersey. He was very handsome, with brown hair and smoldering grey eyes.
Jackson was impressed and sent a picture of himself, shirtless, from the
beach. His dirty blonde hair was sticking in all directions after the sun
and air had dried any proof that he had recently been in the ocean. His
pecs and abs were clearly shown in the picture as Jackson had his workout
routine that he stuck with, no matter what.
So, when he moved to San Francisco to live with Andy, he had a rude
awakening to find that if that guy in the picture existed, he wasn't at the
address Andy had given him. At least, not anymore, if it was Andy at all.
He was so taken aback that anger wasn't his first reaction. Shock had
taken him over and when Andy invited him inside, he accepted, not knowing
anything else to do. After a little small talk, Jack had confronted Andy
about the picture and when he was told it was a picture Andy had found
online, Jackson stormed out of there, telling Andy that he was honest, and
that all he wanted was for Andy to be honest, too. Before Andy could
apologize, Jack was gone.
When Jackson was done giving that little tidbit of information, Blake
inquired further but Jack only smiled and told him that one day soon he
would unravel the rest of the mystery, but until then, he would have to be
patient. Blake was even more intrigued than before about Jackson's story,
because, now, it was such a mystery. He secretly hoped it was a great
juicy story when it was finally revealed.
2500 miles away, back in Atlanta, Todd had just heard the name that
he had been trying so desperately to block out, especially with what he was
doing. Opening his eyes, Todd looked down and said, "What did you just
say?"
Zack repeated. "Blake. Your tattoo," he said, then let his hands
fall away from Todd's underwear, turning his head away from Todd's crotch
and closing his eyes.
Todd leaned over and looked, completely forgetting it was there.
"Fuck," he exclaimed, then turned and sat on the piano bench.
Zack got off his knees and went over to the couch. He looked over at
Todd and saw he had his face in his hands.
Todd didn't know what to do. He's the one who stopped what was about
to happen. He could have told him not to worry about it, it was a stupid
thing to do, and that it didn't mean anything, anymore, but the problem
was, he was doing everything he could not to think of Blake, until his name
was said. Hearing Blake's name, brought him back to the present, and to
the situation he was in.
Todd didn't know what to do. He needed to get out of there and he
was afraid he was going to look like an ass doing it. At this point, he
reasoned, he didn't care anymore. He jumped up and grabbed his jeans.
Slipping them on, Zack asked what he was doing.
"I'm sorry, Zack. I gotta go. I need to get home," Todd said,
scared of his own feelings.
"Todd, it's okay. Nothing happened," Zack said, trying to calm Todd.
"I know. Everything's cool," Todd said, as he put his shirt on.
Looking around on the floor, he found his shoes and slipped them on.
"Thanks for dinner, but I really gotta get out of here." Before Zack could
even respond, Todd was out the door.
Zack sat on the edge of the couch and stared at the door with which
Todd had just left. "Damnit, why did I have to say anything?" he said, and
then hit the couch with his fist, then fell back, closing his eyes.
When Todd got home, he immediately jumped into the shower, hoping not
to wake his parents, and cleaned himself. Nothing had happened, but he
felt dirty. He never felt this way before and he didn't understand why.
Getting out of the shower, he dried himself off and wrapped the towel
around his waist and looked at the fogged-up mirror. Bringing his right
hand up, he sliced the glass with only his fingertips, and when he looked
to his reflection, it looked like cuts across his face, mirroring how he
felt on the inside.
When he saw his eyes in one of the wet slices, instantly, he knew why
he was feeling the way he was. As of yet, he just didn't want to admit it.
He knew he still loved Blake and he felt, for the first time, some of his
anger slip away. He realized that even if Zack had kept quiet, as soon as
he felt Zack touch him, he would have stopped him. Even though Blake
wasn't there, he still felt like he was cheating and he hated that feeling.
Todd shook his head and grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste and
started on his teeth. When he was done, he hung his towel up and went back
to his room. After he slipped on his underwear, he fell into bed and
closed his eyes. For the first time since he came home from college, he
called out Blake's name in love. "Goodnight, Blake."
A couple of days went by and Todd tried to avoid all communication
with Zack. He felt embarrassed at what he had done and about how he left.
He let Zack's calls go to voicemail and would erase them before even
listening to them. He didn't want to hurt Zack, but he was too ashamed to
face him now.
After he had just silenced a call from Zack and put his attention
back to the TV, the phone rang again, and Todd was starting to get upset.
Picking up the phone, he noticed it was Howie calling. Giving a smile and
thanking God it wasn't Zack, he answered.
"Hey, big guy. What's up?" Todd asked.
"Not a whole lot. What's up with you?" Howie asked.
"Not much. Just watching TV," Todd answered.
"Good. Get your butt over to the Applebee's on Peachtree, here in
Buckhead. Kelly and I are heading that way and we want to visit with you."
"Hey, sounds great. I'll be there shortly."
"Good, see you soon," Howie said and hung up.
Todd flipped off the TV and was about to head out the door, but
before he did, he turned his phone off and put it on the door side table.
About ten minutes later, he arrived and found Kelly and Howie already at a
table. When he met up with them, he leaned down and kissed Kelly on the
cheek, and reached over and gave Howie a handshake.
""What have you guys been up to?" Todd asked.
"Just sitting around, enjoying the summer, but she's got her nose in
a book, as always," Howie said, pulling Kelly into his side, lovingly.
"I'm working on my summer reading list," she said, looking at Howie,
she then turned to Todd and said, "I gotta read six books before the
semester starts.
"So, I take it, you got accepted somewhere?" Todd asked.
"Yup. I'll be attending Harvard next year," Kelly said with a smile.
"Congratulations," Todd said and grabbed her hand.
"Thanks," Kelly said in return.
Looking at Howie, Todd asked, "Have you heard anything from Auburn,
yet?"
"No, hopefully, I'll know something in a week or two. I just hope I
get a scholarship; otherwise, I might have to go to one of the community
colleges. Auburn and UGA are just too expensive without a scholarship."
"Yeah, I know. I'm just lucky my parents started saving when they
did," Todd said.
"How have things been in New York?" Kelly asked.
Todd told of his remaining time at school, after Christmas, and what
he had done, his grades, and a Broadway show his friends had taken him to.
Kelly was completely enthralled as Howie was only interested because it was
Todd. He spent the next fifteen minutes telling them both of the great
time he had during his first year in the big city.
While they continued to talk, they ordered their meals and then after
the food came the talk slowed for a bit so they could enjoy their first
bites. Then, Todd started telling them about the Tales of the City books
he had read. He enjoyed the story so much; he was just telling them
everything about it, when Kelly asked how he found the book.
"A new friend of mine gave it to me. I met him in Starbucks," Todd
said, then quickly looked down at his plate and filled his fork again.
"What's his name?" Howie asked.
Todd looked up and gave a little sigh, then said, "Zack."
"It sounds like there's a problem there," Kelly said. "Is anything
wrong?"
Todd took the bite off his fork, and then put it on his plate.
Swallowing his food, he told them how Zack had invited him over for dinner
and about them watching some of the Tales movie.
"Then he started playing the piano, and he was good. He has a nice
voice, too."
"It sounds like a great evening," Kelly said.
"Yeah, it was, but then he played a song talking about how someone
needs to leave before they read too much into a friendship or something
like that, and I was kinda hypnotized, and before I knew it, I was sitting
on the piano bench next to him."
"And?" Howie asked.
"When the song was over, I kissed him."
"And this is a bad thing?" Kelly asked.
Taken aback, Todd said, "I'm surprised you're not berating me for
doing that."
"Why? You had a date, and you kissed. What's wrong with that?"
Kelly asked.
"Um, Blake?" Todd said, stating the obvious.
Putting her fork down, Kelly said, "I love Blake, you know I do, but
he left you. So you went out on one date and you kissed the guy. So what?
At least you didn't go all the way. If, during this time, you want to date
someone, I don't see anything wrong with it. Now, falling in love is a
different story. Before you do that, I think that you and Blake need to
end it, officially, or you guys need to work things out."
"So, going out on a date isn't a bad thing?" Todd asked, looking for
confirmation.
"No," said Kelly.
"I agree," Howie chimed in.
"What about," Todd looked around, then lowered his voice to a whisper
and said, "blowjobs?"
Kelly looked at Howie and Howie said, "Now, I think I might have
heard just a little too much."
Todd gave a laugh and said, "We didn't do that, but we came close."
"Call me prying, but why did you stop?" Kelly asked.
"Zack called out Blake's name. He saw my tattoo."
"Holy shit," Howie said. "What'd you do?"
"I freaked out. I got dressed and left. He's been calling me for
the last few days and I've been ignoring his calls."
"Why? Don't you like him?" Kelly asked.
"Yeah, the problem is, I still love Blake, and I think I might be
liking Zack a little too much."
"What do you mean you might be liking Zack a little too much?" Howie
asked.
Looking down to his lap and then back up at the pair of them, he
said, "If Blake and I had never started dating," he paused for just a beat,
then finished, "Zack would be perfect. He's handsome, intelligent, funny,
great personality. He'd be perfect for me, I think, but then there's
Blake; and I know he's perfect for me.'
"So, you're not mad at Blake anymore?" Kelly asked, tentatively.
"I'm still mad," Todd explained, "but just not as much as before."
"Did you read his graduation speech? Is that why you aren't mad at
him as much?" Howie asked.
"No, I haven't read it, yet. I'm going to, but I'm still not ready
for that."
"Then how did you lose some of your anger towards Blake?" Kelly
asked.
"Because I felt like I was cheating on him. I felt very dirty when I
got home from Zack's. I didn't have a reason to, but I did. When I looked
in the mirror after my shower, I realized I felt that way because I felt as
though I was cheating. I was trying hard not to think about Blake, but I
knew I wouldn't've been able to go through with it."
"How far did you guys go to make you feel this way?" Kelly asked.
"His hands were about to pull down my underwear when he saw the
tattoo," Todd explained
"At least you realized it before it was too late. Although, I don't
feel, in this case, that it would have been cheating. More like, what
Blake doesn't know won't hurt him, since he's the one who left," Kelly
said.
"I guess you're right, but I still felt bad, just knowing I might
have had some sort of sex with someone else."
Reaching across the table, Kelly grabbed Todd's hand and said, "I
honestly feel that if you had done something, or possibly do something
soon, then Blake won't have a reason to be mad at you. Like I said
earlier, he left you. Is he expecting you to wait around for his call or
for him to come home? You can do what you want, in my opinion, and he
can't do much about it."
"But...," Todd started, and then realized his mother's words were
filling his head. "But, wasn't I doing the same thing to him? Expecting
him to wait around for me, while I'm off at school?" Todd asked.
"Well, yeah, but didn't you tell us that Blake told you to leave?"
Howie asked.
"He did, but from his point of view, I mean, he was kinda waiting
around for me."
"Yeah, but it was agreed upon by both of you," Kelly said. "His
leaving, you didn't agree to."
"I know, but now I think I understand just a little more why he
left," Todd said and looked down to his lap.
"Well, to come to his defense, even after what I just told you, he
was getting depressed. Talking about having the same routine, day in and
day out. I can completely understand why he left, I just didn't like the
way he left. I mean, if he was single, then that would be one thing. He
could do what he wanted, but he was with you. Just leaving without talking
to you first, I just didn't think that was the best way."
"Yeah, I know, but my mom told me that I would have talked Blake out
of it and she's right. I would have, or at least tried to, and then I'd be
controlling the relationship around my schedule."
"It does sound like it, but I can understand why you'd do that. You
love him. You get done with a semester and you come home, and he says he
needs to leave. Yeah, I probably would have talked Kelly out of it, if
that's what she told me," Howie said, completely understanding both sides.
"Yeah, I just gotta be patient. See where we are when he calls me."
"Well," Kelly said, trying to lighten the mood, "if you sneak in a
blowjob before then, I won't tell anyone."
"Yeah, didn't need to picture that," Howie said, smiling and turning
his head away.
Todd laughed at Howie for the comment and the look on his face.
For the next few days, Todd continued to avoid Zack's calls. Friday
came around and Todd was watching TV when he heard a knock at the door.
Walking over, he opened it, and his face fell.
"So, are you going to avoid me forever?" Zack asked.
"Um, hi. I, uh, wasn't avoiding you, really," Todd said, putting his
hands in his jeans pockets.
"Really?" Zack asked, walking inside. "I've called you like 20 times
over the last few days, left you about 10 voicemails. I haven't heard back
from you. I'd say that's avoiding."
Todd lifted his hand and closed the door and turned to face Zack.
"Okay, so I've been avoiding you," then walked past Zack to sit on the
couch and flipped off the TV.
"Okay, besides the fact that we made out and almost did some oral,
why have you been avoiding me?" Zack asked.
"Uh, well, let's see. We made out, and almost did some oral. Isn't
that enough of a reason?" Todd asked.
"No. Nothing happened. All we did was kiss, which was hot, by the
way, but that's all we did. Are you going to dump me as a friend because
of it?"
Standing, Todd took a couple of steps closer to Zack and said, "I
like you, Zack. The problem is, I'm attracted to you, too. Like, if I
knew that what Blake and I had was over, for good, I'd want to date you.
The other problem is..."
"You still love Blake," Zack said, cutting Todd off and finishing his
sentence.
"Yeah," Todd said.
Zack looked at Todd and looked around the living room, before looking
back. "To be honest, I was kinda hoping that if we did do what we were
going to do, that maybe you might forget about Blake. I know, it was
selfish of me, but when we met, I thought you were a great guy. After you
told me about Blake, I kinda backed off, but I was still feeling something.
"That song I played was to kinda give you the signal that I liked
you. I didn't plan on us kissing or anything, but it happened. I kept
finding myself more and more attracted to you. It was as much my fault, if
not more, actually, than it was yours. I wanted to kiss you and go
further, but when I saw your tattoo, it actually brought me back to my
senses, and made me realize what I was doing."
"You aren't the only one at fault. Obviously, I wanted to kiss you
too, otherwise I wouldn't have. I got the meaning of the song, and
something just came over me and that's why I did it."
"So, why have you been avoiding my calls?" Zack asked.
"Because I felt like an ass, leading you on, then leaving the way I
did. I figured you'd never want to see me again," Todd explained.
"Well, you were wrong. I don't want our friendship to end because of
this. I like you, Todd, as a friend, and I want us to remain friends."
"Me, too. In fact, I talked to a couple of friends of mine and they
told me that dating and kissing wasn't anything to worry about. Falling in
love, now, that's a different matter."
"Well, just to be clear, I wasn't falling in love or anything," Zack
said, wanting to reassure Todd.
"I wasn't either. I think the problem was that I did... do like
you," Todd corrected, "and I was horny. I think my hormones got the better
of me that night."
"Same here. It's been a while since I was with anyone," Zack said.
"Me, too," Todd said.
There was an awkward silence that filled the room for a few minutes,
before Zack finally broke it by asking, "So, are we okay?"
"If you can forgive me, then yeah, we're okay," Todd answered.
"Great," Zack said, and walked forward and gave Todd a hug. Todd was
a little shocked by the gesture, at first, then the shock dissipated, and
he returned the hug to Zack.
Breaking the embrace, Zack announced that he was taking Todd to a
concert next weekend.
"A concert?" Todd asked, smiling. "Who?"
"A guy named Levi Kreis. That song I played the other night, that's
one of his. He's a great artist. I really think you'll like him."
"Sounds good to me," Todd said.
"Great. Now, how about we go and catch a movie?" Zack asked.
"Awesome. You know, I've been dying to see that new thriller with
Greg Kinnear."
"I thought he only did comedies?" Zack said.
"Oh, he does. It's just a thrill to see he's still working," Todd
said, and smiled.
As Zack chided him for the lame joke, they both walked out the door,
laughing.
Back in Montana, at the ranch, Friday afternoon came and the work for
the day was done. Blake was exhausted, and after dinner, decided it was
time to talk with Mama and Papa about the living situation. Blake offered
to stay behind and help Mama clean while the hands headed over to their
building to get their showers. To Blake's surprise, Jackson was waiting
around and offered to help, also.
"Jack, I got this, you go on and relax for the weekend," Blake said.
"Hey, it's not a problem. I don't mind."
"Suit yourself," Blake said.
Bringing in a handful of food, he placed it on the butcher counter in
the middle of the kitchen and asked Mama if he could have a word. Mama was
too busy putting away the food to give Blake his full attention, but said
that Blake could talk to him about anything.
"Well, I was kinda hoping the offer to live here was still good,"
Blake inquired.
Putting a Tupperware container full of corn in the fridge, he turned
and looked at Blake and said, "It's sure is, darlin'. That empty room has
just been waiting on you to fill it," he said, smiling at Blake.
"Great. If it's okay with you and Papa, I think I'll move in
tomorrow."
"What made you change your mind?" Mama asked, putting the leftover
meatloaf in another container.
"I'm exhausted. Getting up at four am just isn't helping me. I go
to bed early enough, but I think it's a mental thing. Getting up in the
middle of the night to get ready for work, it just isn't working very
well."
"Well, I'm sorry it didn't work out living with your cousin because
of the rest, but we're glad to have you here, Blake. Now, you know your
pay will drop, a little, right?"
"Yes, sir. Papa said $350 a week, if I moved in."
"That's right. It's not a lot. It's just a double bed, a chest of
drawers, a small desk, and a TV."
"It sounds wonderful. I don't have a lot, so I don't need a lot."
"Great. I have a starter set of sheets for you, but you need to get
your own. And a good comforter as well. It gets pretty cold in the
winter."
"Hey, that's no problem at all. I appreciate everything, Mama.
Really."
"It's my pleasure, darlin'. So, should we be expecting you before or
after lunch?" Mama asked.
"I'm gonna try to get it done in the morning, but I'm gonna sleep in
a little first."
"Don't blame you," Mama said, winking at Blake.
"Don't blame him for what?" Jack asked, coming in with the glasses
and paper napkins from the table.
"For sleeping in tomorrow," Blake said.
"I know what you mean. I look forward to every other Saturday like
you can't imagine," Jack said.
"So, you're not working tomorrow?" Blake asked.
"Nope," Jackson answered and headed back to the picnic tables.
"Great, you can help me out tomorrow," Blake said, following him.
"What's going on tomorrow?" Jack asked.
"I'm officially moving in," Blake said.
"That's great," Jack said. "When do you think you might be here?"
"Sometime before lunch," Blake answered.
"Well, if it's before 10, I probably won't be up. I catch up on my
sleep on Saturdays, so I don't set any alarms."
"I doubt I'll be here before then," Blake said, filling his hands
with whatever he could grab that was left on the table.
Bringing in the last load from the picnic table, Blake wished Mama
and Jackson a great night, and told them he would see them tomorrow and
then headed home. When he arrived, he noticed he was the first one to
arrive. After getting inside, and putting his keys on the little table in
the foyer, he went over and collapsed on the couch.
The next thing Blake remembers is his cousin, Mark, shaking him
awake.
"What time is it?" Blake asked, rubbing his eyes.
"About 6:15," Tripp called out.
"Wow, what a nap. I only sat down about thirty minutes ago," Blake
said.
Mark looked at Tripp then back at Blake and sat down.
Grabbing Blake's hand, Mark said, "As much as I hate to see you
leave, why don't you move on up to the ranch?"
Blake looked at him and smiled. "Are you serious?"
"Blake, you're always exhausted. You don't have a lot of energy when
you are awake. Hell, you can't even make it through a movie anymore
without falling asleep."
Blake smiled even bigger and then brought Mark's hand up and kissed
the back of it. "I am so glad you said that. I asked Mama today if I
could move in this weekend. Thank you for not making me feel bad by having
to tell you."
"We knew it was only a matter of time," Tripp said, coming over and
sitting down in one of the chairs flanking the sofa.
"You really don't mind?" Blake asked, looking from Mark to Tripp.
"No," Mark said, and Tripp agreed. "I just hope you can find a
routine that's good for you."
"You guys are the greatest," Blake said, hugging Mark, then walking
over and doing the same to Tripp. Letting go of Tripp's neck, Blake said,
"How about we go out to dinner tonight? My treat."
"Somebody else is paying? I'm in," Tripp said.
"Me too," Mark said.
After dinner, they headed to Starbucks to get some coffee and talk,
enjoying each other's company. Once they were done with their coffee, they
headed home. Mark and Tripp asked if Blake wanted to watch a movie with
them, but he declined, heading for his room. Once there, he stripped and
headed to the bathroom for his shower. When he was done, he came out and
was about to go to his room, but wanted to ask if they would ride with him
to the ranch the following day.
Turning, he headed to their bedroom and saw the door cracked open
about six inches. Walking to it, he was just about to knock, when he saw
something that both surprised and excited him. Tripp was lying on the bed
and Mark was riding him. Mark had his back to the door and he was blocking
Tripp's view of the door, so Blake stood there, unseen by either of them.
Standing outside the door, watching them have sex, Blake started
getting excited. He reached down to find that he already had an erection.
He knew he should leave, but he and Todd had already had sex in the same
room as Mark and Tripp, so he felt it wasn't all that bad to stay and watch
for a few minutes.
"You like my dick in your ass?" Blake heard Tripp ask of Mark.
"Fuck yeah. Give it to me, baby," Mark said back.
Tripp place his feet firmly on the floor and started to move his hips
in sync with Mark's up and down motions. Mark ended up sitting up, just
slightly, so Tripp could take over the thrusts. In doing so, he got
faster, making Mark moan with delight. Before Blake realized it, he had
grabbed his erection and was slowly stroking himself.
Watching Mark and Tripp have sex made him miss having sex with Todd.
It had been so long since Blake and Todd had been together, and he missed
feeling Todd inside him. More than that though, he missed Todd holding him
after they were done making love. Waking up, still in Todd's arms.
Slipping into a daydream, he wondered, for about the millionth time, if he
made the biggest mistake of his life by leaving Atlanta. Leaving Todd.
He was caught up in his memories and didn't even realize he was still
standing there, at the opened door, watching his cousins have sex, until he
heard his name being called. He snapped his attention back to the present
and looked into the room, where he saw both boys staring at him, Mark still
sitting on Tripp.
"Sorry, guys. I didn't mean to pry," Blake said, sheepishly.
"No worries. Looks like you're enjoying what you're seeing," Mark
said, flicking his eyes to Blake's erection.
Looking down, he said, "Yeah, it's kinda hot watching."
"Well, come on in and get a closer look, if you want," Tripp said.
"We're not shy, at least, not anymore," and gave a laugh. When he did,
Blake saw Mark's eyes close for a moment. Tripp's laughter must have moved
his erection inside Mark and hit something sensitive.
"This is your time to be alone. I just came by to see if you guys
wanted to come to the ranch with me tomorrow."
"Sure, sounds great," Mark said.
"Can we ride the horses?" Tripp asked.
"Sure. We should be able to get an hour or so in," Blake said.
"Cool," Tripp said.
"You sure you don't want to come in and watch? It's kinda hot
knowing someone is watching," Mark said.
"I really shouldn't," Blake said, taking a small step back.
"How about videotaping us," Tripp offered.
Mark turned his head to look at Tripp, then back at Blake. "That's
not a bad idea. We've made a couple, but the video is of us with the
camera on the dresser or one of us holding it, so it's not that great."
Blake smiled and asked, "You want me to videotape you guys having
sex?"
"Yeah. It'll be like a real porno," Tripp said.
Blake thought about it for a minute, then relented and said, "Sure,
why not?"
"Awesome," Tripp said. "Give us five minutes and we'll be ready."
Tripp and Mark jumped in the shower and washed up. When they came
back, they started from the beginning with Tripp giving Mark a blow job.
Blake had the camera there and ready. He focused in on the faces and the
acts, as they happened. When they got to the fucking, Blake couldn't lose
his erection if he wanted to. He was too busy concentrating on the camera,
that he didn't have time to play with himself.
At one point, he wanted to get a better shot of Mark fucking Tripp on
his back, so he got up on the bed, and stood on either side of Tripp. When
he did, he focused the camera to the money shot, and felt Tripp reach up
and caress Blake's legs. He looked down, and told himself that as long as
Tripp didn't touch anything, he didn't care about the legs.
A minute later, Mark spoke to Blake. "You know, Blake, if you
weren't my cousin, I'd leaned over and started sucking you off.
All three boys gave a laugh and Blake answered, "If you did, I
probably wouldn't have cared, seeing how horny I am now," and looked down
at his erection with a drop of precum hanging by a delicate, silky string,
threatening to fall on Tripp.
Hearing that said, Tripp reached up and wrapped his hand around
Blake's engorged member and started jerking him off. His first instinct
was to pull away, but it felt so good, he didn't move. Instead, he allowed
Tripp to continue as he kept recording the pounding that Mark was giving
Tripp.
After a few more minutes of getting the footage that Blake thought
was hot, and allowing Tripp to continue his assault on Blake's cock, he got
off the bed and went behind Mark and lowered the camera to get the angle he
was looking for. Mark pushed Tripp's legs farther up, lifting Tripp's ass
off the bed, and Blake had a better shot at what was going on.
They ended up flip flopping, back and forth, and changing positions
so many times, that by the time Blake looked at the clock, it was amazed to
see two hours had passed. He gave it a few more minutes and was about to
let the boys know that he needed to get in bed, but Tripp beat him to the
punch. As he pounded Mark, he announced that he was about to cum. Blake
moved around to the front and focused in on Mark's crotch as Tripp pushed
in as far as he could go and let out a grunt that came from deep within.
As he unloaded his balls, Mark gave a loud moan, sending his climax
shooting from the end of his cock, three feet in the air, landing back on
his chest with an audible splat.
Once their climaxes had subsided, Tripp fell on top of Mark, and
their lips made contact. They made out for another minute before looking
at the camera and saying, "Bye," before they both started laughing.
Blake hit the stop button and looked at the boys. "That was fucking
hot."
"We can see how hot it made you," Mark said, smiling.
"Yeah, now I gotta go and take care of it myself," Blake explained.
"I could help you out, if you like," Tripp said. "Hand or mouth,
your choice."
Blake smiled, but said, "Thanks, but I kinda feel weird about that.
I haven't officially broken up with Todd, so that would be cheating."
"I understand," Tripp said. "I'm sorry I offered."
"No, please. I'm flattered, and if I wasn't with Todd and Mark
didn't care, I'd probably take you up on it, but..." he let his words trail
off, allowing them to get the point.
Rolling out from underneath Tripp, Mark got up and grabbed for the
camera and said, "Thanks for helping us out, Blake. This is gonna be
better than the others we made."
"My pleasure," Blake said, grinning from ear to ear. "It was kinda
cool. I got to watch sex happen right in front of me. That's something I
never thought would happen. I guess that's something I can cross off my
list of things to do."
"Thanks, again," Tripp said, sitting on the edge of the bed.
"No, problem. Goodnight, guys," Blake said, turning to head to his
room.
"Sleep well," Mark said, giving Blake a playful slap on the butt.
Once Blake was back in his room, he heard the shower from the boys'
room running, knowing they were cleaning up. He reached down and grabbed
himself and started massaging himself to a beautiful orgasm. Two hours of
getting and staying hard without playing gave him one of the best solo
climaxes of his life. Instead of cleaning up, he was so beat that he
turned over and fell asleep.
"I'll wash everything in the morning," he said to himself before
falling off into dreamland.
The next day, Blake's move was fairly simple and uneventful.
Jackson, Miguel, Mark, and Tripp helped move the few boxes he had into his
little room. Once he had everything done, he thanked Jackson and Miguel
and took his cousins out riding. After they were done, Mama offered for
the boys to stay for dinner. They accepted and got to know Blake's
co-workers and new `family'.
After dinner, Blake, Mark, and Tripp gave big hugs with promises to
get together on the weekends Blake was off. Blake promised they would
remain in his life, at least every other weekend, unless the boys had other
plans. They agreed that every other Saturday night, they would get
together at the apartment or somewhere in town for dinner, if nothing else.
Once their goodbyes were done, Blake gave Mark and Tripp one last hug and a
quick kiss each, then they headed home.
When Blake was back at his room, he looked at the semi-organized mess
and realized that if he wanted a good night sleep, he needed to put
everything away before bed. Otherwise, it would gnaw at him until he did.
As he started unpacking his first box, he heard a knock at the door, and
turned to see Jackson.
"Want some help?" he offered.
"That'd be great," Blake said.
Jackson came in and started with the clothes. He folded the clean
clothes thrown in a box before Blake left the apartment, and put them away
in the small chest of drawers, threw the dirty clothes that Blake had worn
the day before, but hadn't washed yet, in the corner, and picked up some
underwear.
"You're a size 32?" Jackson asked, reading the label.
"Yup. Back in high school, before Todd, I was a 26. I was so
skinny, you could almost bend me over and I'd break in half."
"You look like you got a little muscle on ya now," Jackson said,
looking Blake up and down.
Blake saw this and smiled and said, "I do. And if you wanna see it,
you'll have to wait until I'm in the shower, in about half an hour."
Jackson looked up and saw Blake was smiling and said, "I didn't mean
to imply anything, I just..."
Blake cut him off saying, "I'm joking. I've packed on some muscle in
the last year and a half. I need to get back into a routine, actually.
Hopefully now, I'll have more time. And about the shower, we'll end up
seeing each other anyway. Do you know why Papa had group showers installed
instead of stalls?"
"Not a clue," Jackson said, then in a teasing voice asked, "Why? You
ashamed of something?"
Blake looked over and saw that Jackson was teasing him, but retorted,
"No, just didn't want to give you a heart attack when you see this big
muscle," and grabbed his crotch, giving it a shake.
"Yeah," Jackson said, feigning alarm, "okay, then I better make sure
I have my nitroglycerin pills handy, just in case."
Blake laughed and threw a shirt at Jackson. He caught it, laughing
with Blake. "After you get unpacked, you wanna come to my room and watch a
movie?" Jackson asked.
"Actually, I was gonna get online, check my emails, get a shower then
probably go to bed," Blake explained.
"Oh, okay." Jackson looked around the room and saw that everything
was put away, except what Blake was working on, and said, "Well, let me
know before you get to the shower. I might just join you," and winked as
he walked out the door.
Blake shook his head and smiled. When he was done with his other
belongings, he unpacked his computer, placed it on the desk and turned it
on. Waiting for it to boot up, he plugged in the wires for the headphones,
mouse and power cord. When he sat in the chair, the screen opened and his
desktop came to life.
He clicked on the network icon in the bottom right corner and found a
live link to the internet labeled `Sapphire'. He clicked it, and a moment
later, he was on the net. He opened his browser and his email, which was
set as his homepage, popped up. He saw in his inbox he had 17 messages.
Clicking the inbox link, he saw, as he expected, all the emails were from
Todd. He scanned the list and saw that the earliest email wasn't from
Todd, but from Kelly.
Dread filled his stomach, but he punched the link and her email
popped up on the screen. It read:
Hey Blake, let me know when you get where you're going. I don't want
to worry about you, so I hope you let me know after you get settled.
Love ya, Kelly
He looked at the date at the top of the email and noticed it was the
Saturday after he left Atlanta. He hit the reply and told her that he was
fine and he was sorry but he hadn't checked his email since he moved to
Montana. Told her of his job and how busy it kept him, hoping she would
understand why he didn't respond sooner, then wrote that he loved her and
signed his name. Hitting the send button, he waited, then he hit the inbox
button again. He clicked the little box that highlighted all the messages,
and he moved them all to his save folder. He didn't want to read them, at
least, not until after he knew how Todd felt when he called him in a couple
weeks.
He turned off the computer and got his things together for his
shower, including his toothbrush and paste, soap, shampoo, body wash,
deodorant and his towel and walked out of his room, closing the door behind
him. Stopping at Jackson's room, he knocked and heard Jackson call for him
to come in.
"Does it matter which shower room we use?" Blake asked.
"The one on this side of the living room is the guys. The other one
is for the girls," Jackson said.
"Cool, we'll I'm off to get clean. You coming?" Blake asked.
"I was just kidding, Blake. I got my shower this morning. Enjoy,"
he said, and gave Blake a smile.
When Blake walked in the shower room, he noticed on either side of
the walls were six sinks, three on each side. Next to the mirrors, he saw
little boxes nailed into the wall and walked over. He noticed that at the
bottom of each box was a name and inside was the bathroom essentials. He
smiled and dropped everything on the counter and chose a box next to
Jackson's name and put his tooth stuff, deodorant and little cup in it.
Past the sinks were six toilet stalls. Again, three on each side. Past
that, was the shower.
He walked in the shower room and against the front wall were three
urinals on each side. Walking further into the room was a large metal pole
with about ten shower heads near the top and a single knob in the middle.
At the base of the pole was the drain. On the far left wall were ten small
shelves with hooks under the shelves. He looked at the others and saw
shampoo, soap and other accessories, and chose a shelf for himself.
"I've never showered with people before," he said to himself. "Oh
well, I've got nothing to be ashamed of," he said, knowing that in the
afternoons all the guys would be here cleaning themselves after a hard day
at work.
He stripped down and got his shower. When he was done, he wrapped
his towel around his waist and went to clean his teeth. When he was done,
he left the bathroom with his dirty clothes in hand and stopped, once
again, at Jackson's room. He knocked and slowly opened the door.
Jackson looked up from the TV and Blake asked, "My stuff will be safe
in the bathroom, right? I mean, no one will mess with anything, will
they?"
"Nah. We're all good people here. Nothing to worry about."
"Cool. I'm off to bed. See you tomorrow," Blake said as he closed
the door. Before it was shut, he heard Jackson call back for him to sleep
well.
Back in the South, Todd and Zack spend the next week re-establishing
their friendship, but both boys could still feel a little bit of sexual
tension in the air between them. Todd played it off as best he could, but
he knew he was attracted to Zack, and told himself the only reason he's not
with him is because of Blake. He needed to know exactly what was going on
between them and only had two more weeks to wait, or so he thought.
Blake's birthday was just around the corner and the phone call should come
sometime shortly afterwards.
Zack, on the other hand, wanted more than a friendship with Todd. He
knew he couldn't have it, at least, not until Todd found out about where he
and Blake stood. He secretly hoped that Blake had moved on and that Todd
would want to be with him if things did end with Blake. He did, however,
make a promise to himself that he wouldn't do anything more until he knew
for sure about the status of Todd and Blake. He reasoned that it wasn't
fair to try and steal Todd away, because he wouldn't want anyone doing that
to his boyfriend, if things were reversed.
Friday night came, and the concert that Zack was taking Todd to was
only a couple of hours away. They went to dinner first and then headed
over to get some coffee before heading over to a little bar in Midtown
where Levi was performing. Todd was surprised, expecting to find a theater
or stadium or something, but Zack explained that Levi liked to do smaller,
more intimate performances every once in a while.
When they arrived at the bar, they parked the car on the street and
walked up to the door. Both boys were dressed very handsomely, yet
business casual. Each wore slacks and a button up shirt, opened at the
collar. Zack added an extra something by wearing a red suit coat over his
blue shirt. At the door, a man asked for their tickets, but Zack informed
him that he was on the list with a guest. Giving his name, the man checked
the list and allowed them to pass.
Walking in the bar, they ended up walking past a group of tables and
chairs on their right, took a step down to the main floor, where the bar
separated the small group of tables they had just passed and the main floor
with a larger number of tables and chairs. There were three chairs to each
little drink table. No bigger than the size of a hubcap, but just big
enough to allow drinks to rest without the worry of any crowding.
The forty or so tables were all sitting in a semi-circle facing a
baby grand piano, turned sideways, having the performer looking at the bar,
instead of the audience. A microphone and stand were sitting on the
audience side of the piano so that Levi would be looking at the audience
while he sang.
"Order a coke and tell the guy you're the designated driver. That
way, he won't get suspicious," Zack said to Todd as he led the way to the
bar.
Todd nodded his head in understanding. Getting to the bar, they put
in their orders, with Todd adding his extra bit of information. Once they
were made and placed in front of the boys, Zack reached in his pocket and
pulled out the money needed and paid the bartender, leaving two dollars in
a tip jar as thanks. Most of the tables were already taken, but there were
still a few to choose from, so Zack wasn't rushing to get to his seat.
Todd took it all with a grain of salt and just enjoyed the evening.
Todd and Zack had their backs against the bar and were chatting when
they both heard some commotion from the other side of the room. When they
looked up, some applause started and a man raised his hands in the air and
started motioning them up and down, to quite the applause.
"The show hasn't started just yet. Give me about five minutes more.
I just need some water," the man said and the room laughed.
Making his way to the bar, he spotted a friend of his and held out
his arms.
"Oh, my God, you made it," the man said, kissing Zack on the cheek
and taking him in a hug.
"I told you I'd be here, didn't I?" Zack said, hugging the man back.
"I was just afraid," the man started, then pulled himself out of the
hug to look Zack in the eye, "that something might have come up to keep you
from coming."
"Keep me from seeing you perform? Not in a million years." Zack
smiled, then looked over at Todd, and remembered his manners. "Todd, I'd
like you to meet Levi Kreis. Levi, this is the friend I was telling you
about, Todd Blyth."
Todd reached out a hand and said, "I hope what he told you was good."
"I don't believe a word he says about anything, unless he's talking
about guys. Then, and only then, do I listen and believe," Levi said, then
added, "and believe me, it was all good."
"Thanks," Zack said, incredulously.
"Have you heard any of my songs before?" Levi asked.
"Just one. Zack played one for me a week or so ago," Todd answered.
"Which one?" Levi asked, looking at Zack.
"`I Should Go.' You know it's one of my favorites," Zack explained.
"Cool." Looking back at Todd, he asked, "Did you like it?"
"It was amazing. It was so beautiful. If you don't mine me asking,
how did you come up with it?" Todd asked.
"There was someone that I liked, but we were just friends, and I just
kinda thought how would he feel if he knew I liked him more than just a
friend? Then I just started writing the words and everything just fell
into place."
"It's a great song," Todd said.
"You'll hear it again tonight," Levi said, then excused himself for a
moment. Looking at the bartender, he said, "Tommy, can I get a water?"
The bartender did as Levi asked, and Levi turned his attention back
to Zack and Todd.
"How do you guys know each other?" Todd asked.
"You mean, he didn't tell you?" Levi asked, looking between Todd and
Zack. "We're cousins. I taught this boy everything he knows about music,"
Levi said, grabbing Zack around the neck and pulling him down to his chest.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. You taught me how to play piano, that's all,"
Zack said, pulling his head out of the grip.
"You keep telling yourself that. I also taught you how to sing,"
Levi said, then reached between them and grabbed his water from Tommy.
"Okay," Zack said, giving in, "well, there's that too, I guess."
"Yeah. You know, I have two mics tonight," Levi said, looking at
Zack.
"Hell no! I came to enjoy. I'm not getting up there," Zack said.
"Yes you are," Levi said, then looked over at Todd and said, "I hope
you enjoy the show. I gotta get things started," then he turned and headed
to the piano. When he arrived, the applause began and Zack led Todd to an
empty table near the piano and they took their seats.
The first half hour of the small concert was great. Todd enjoyed the
upbeat music and the performance that Levi was giving. He had just
finished a song and was addressing the audience, when he made an
announcement that Zack wasn't too happy about, but took it in stride.
"This next song is a duet, but I don't have my duet partner with me,
so I'm gonna get someone else up here to sing it tonight." He shot a
glance to Zack and he was smiling, but he had fire in his eyes. "I'm gonna
need all your help to get my cousin, Zack, up on stage. He doesn't want
to, but if you want to hear `It is Well With My Soul,' then only applause
will encourage him to help me out."
After saying that, the little bar erupted with applause and hollers
from the concert goers. Todd was one of the loudest cheerers, and Zack
looked at him and said, "I'm gonna kill you, too, later." Todd laughed and
gave Zack a shove off his chair.
When Zack approached, Levi handed over a microphone and he snatched
it out of Levi's hand and looked at the audience and said, "I hope you guys
enjoy this concert, `cause it might be his last. I might have to kill him
after the show."
A loud laughter tore through the little room, and he turned to Levi
and said, "At least let me play the piano. Maybe I won't be so nervous."
Levi smiled and got up from the piano bench and walked around to the
nook in the baby grand and looked back over at Zack as he took his seat
behind the black and white keys. When the noise died, Levi said in his mic
to Zack, "Are you ready, cuz?"
"Do I have a choice?" Zack said back, giving Levi a smile. Another
small round of laughter came through the room, until the music started to
flow from the piano in front of Zack.
The recording of this song was originally done with Levi and Darci
Monet. But since she wasn't around, Levi forced his cousin to sing her
part. As Todd watched Zack, he realized that Zack was having fun, and
didn't really seem to mind being onstage. It was a beautiful song, one
which Todd had heard a couple times when he and his family used to attend
church. It had been a while since he had heard it, but he never remembered
it sounding this good. Levi's and Zack's voices blended so well together;
Todd thought they should do a recording of it, if for no one else but for
Todd.
Once they were done, the applause was deafening. Todd, again, was
one of the loudest cheerers and stood to give an even bigger ovation. The
rest of the audience followed suit and the two boys onstage got the first
standing ovation of the night.
Over the ovation, you could hear both guys give their thanks to the
crowd. When it died down again, Levi asked for a solo applause for Zack.
He received it and stood from the bench and gave a bow. "I guess I better
let him go and let him get back to his friend," Levi told the crowd.
"I can play another. Just you singing, though," Zack said in the mic
to Levi.
"Don't you have to be getting back to that beautiful man you came in
with?" Levi asked, looking over at Todd.
Todd lowered his head and felt his cheeks flush a deep red. He
looked up and saw Levi laughing then heard him say, "Didn't mean to
embarrass you."
All eyes turned to where Levi was looking and Todd heard a few whoops
from the surrounding audience. He smiled and gave a small wave then looked
back down again.
"He can survive without me for one more song," Zack said, looking at
Todd and giving him a wink.
"Cool," Levi said. "Whatcha wanna play?"
Zack gave Levi a look that told him he knew what the song choice
would be.
"Cool. Hit it," Levi said to Zack.
Todd recognized the song, instantly. It was the same song Zack
played for him right before they started to make out. Feeling confident
nothing was going to happen, Todd sat back in his chair and enjoyed the
music and Levi's smooth voice delivering the words. When it was over, the
applause was as loud as before, but before it could die down, Levi directed
the applause to be for Zack.
Zack stood up and gave another small bow, then crossed to his cousin,
kissed him on the cheek, then took him in a hug, and then finally, headed
back off to seat next to Todd.
"That was freakin' amazing," Todd said, leaning over and talking over
the applause.
"How'd you like the second song choice?" Zack asked of Todd.
Giving a sly smile, he answered, "Fitting."
The next few songs that Levi played were slower, some ballads, others
just with a slower beat. Levi started playing one song, and for some
reason, Todd paid closer attention to the words. What caught his attention
and made him do this was a line in the song that said: `To never fall in
love in life again.'
As the song continued, the chorus came around and he listened and
actually agreed with them.
I'd rather be lonely, I'd rather be blue
I'd rather be anything than being without you
I'd rather be a loser, I'd rather not try
So I'm doing everything I know to do
To never have to say the word goodbye
Hearing these words made Todd start to think of Blake. How much he
cared for Blake, how much they shared with each other. How he, Todd,
promised, that night in the rain, over a year ago, that no matter what, and
no matter how hard Blake hit him, or forced him to leave, or hated him; he
promised that he would always be there. Todd always promised to love
Blake, no matter what.
After the song ended, Todd was in a half-funk. He applauded, but
only halfheartedly. What he didn't know was that the next song was going
to throw him over the edge. If he had known it was coming, he would have
excused himself, but never having heard any of Levi's songs, he had no idea
the impact `Lonely Sunday Morning' would have on him.
I can still taste you on my lips
I can still smell you on my sheets
I can still feel the way you tremble
When I'd hold you close to me
It's like everything about you
Is everything I need
Waking up without you
Is gonna be the death of me
I'm not so use to silence
And I can't find you anywhere
It's a Lonely Sunday Morning
`Cause you left me without warning
And I don't know how to make it
Through this Lonely Sunday Morning
Zack looked over at Todd and saw tears forming in his eyes. He was
about to lean over and ask if things were okay, but figured he knew why the
tears were present. Todd was thinking of Blake. Zack kept quiet and
turned his attention back to Levi and listened to the rest of the song.
Last night I took your picture
Out of my dresser drawer
And said the words that I wish I could
Not say anymore
The truth is that I love you
And I'm doing all I can
To make myself forget the way it feels to be your man
And I gotta find a reason
To face another day
It's a Lonely Sunday Morning
`Cause you left me without warning
And I don't know how to make it
Through this Lonely Sunday Morning
I should just crawl back in bed
Shut out my heart
Turn off my head
But it's impossible to do
`Cause my whole world was you
My whole world was you
It's a Lonely Sunday Morning
`Cause you left me without warning
And I don't know how to make it
Through this Lonely Sunday Morning
Lonely Sunday Mornin'
When the piano fell silent, the room stood and gave another standing
ovation. During the commotion, Todd turned and headed towards the door,
wiping his eyes as he did. Out on the street, he looked up at the stars
and couldn't help but cry harder. His sobs shook his entire body. He hurt
so much in this one moment. Everything he refused to feel when he found
out that Blake left was coming to the surface and it wouldn't stop.
He walked over to the wall near the club and leaned back against it,
hands covering his face and allowed his body to slide down the wall in a
sitting position. With his knees up near his chest, he lowered his head
and let out the tears that had been threatening the appear for the last
month.
After the applause died down, Zack looked over to find Todd missing.
He looked over towards the bathroom, but didn't see anyone. He didn't know
what made him look outside, but that's where his feet took him. When he
opened the door, he looked to his left, and not seeing Todd, he looked
towards the car. Not seeing him there, he looked to his right and saw
Todd, sitting against the wall, about a hundred yards away from the door,
crying.
He slowly walked up to Todd and stooped down and put his hand on
Todd's back.
"You, okay, buddy?" Zack asked in a caring tone.
Todd looked up and his face was a mess. His cheeks were tear-stained
and he opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Instead, he shook
his head from side to side, then lowered it back to his arms and knees and
continued to cry. Zack was at a loss as to what to do, so he did the only
thing he could think of. He sat down next to Todd and put his right arm
over Todd's shoulders and pulled him into his side. He took his left arm
and put it across Todd and just held him. He didn't say a word; just held
his friend as he let the anger go in the form of sadness.
A long while later, Todd's sobs had subsided and he lifted his head
from his knees and arms and looked at Zack.
"You feelin' better?" Zack asked, softly.
"A little," Todd said, wiping his eyes.
"What happened?" Zack asked, removing his arms from Todd.
Todd thought about it for a moment then said, "The song, it
just...got to me. It described what I was feeling, perfectly. How I felt
that I can't live without Blake, how much I need him with me, and when I
wake up, I realize how much I miss him." Todd gave a small laugh and said,
"I even keep his pictures in my dresser drawer."
Zack remained silent for a moment to let what Todd told him sink in.
When he spoke, he surprised Todd with his words. "Then why aren't you
going after him?"
Todd stared at Zack with blank eyes and said, "Huh?"
"You love him so much that you're willing to break down on the street
over him leaving you. People don't do that for nothing, Todd. You still
love him so much, you didn't care who saw you do this. Go after him. If
not to get back together, then to resolve whatever needs to be resolved.
Find him and yell at him, cuss him out, do something, just go after him."
Todd looked down at his feet, still tucked near his butt and said, "I
need to do something. I can't go on living like this. I feel like I have
a broken heart that won't go away. I need to make the pain stop."
"And the only way that's going to happen is by talking to Blake.
Now, you can wait around for another week, or you can go after him."
Todd thought about it for a moment, then said, "I don't have the
money for that. Hell, I don't even know where he is. I just know he's in
Montana."
Zack tried his best to continue to talk Todd into going to Montana to
find Blake, but Todd kept giving excuses. No money, not knowing where to
start looking, wasting his time until Blake called, which could be next
week, or next month. He didn't say exactly when he'd call, just sometime
after his birthday.
Todd decided on a taxi home. Zack offered numerous times to drive
Todd home, but Todd refused, telling Zack to spend some time with Levi,
while he was in town. He promised to call the next day, and as Todd
climbed in the taxi, Zack watched, then waved a hand at Todd.
When Todd got home, he paid the driver the money he owed, and walked
up to the door. As he did, he noticed his dad's car gone, and assumed that
his parents were out. He was thankful for this, not wanting to be
questioned why he was home so early. He walked up to his room, and sat
down on the bed. Looking over at his dresser, he got up and slowly walked
over and got the picture album that Tristian had made for him and Blake of
them in the park.
Before going back to the bed, he walked to the desk and found the
paper he was looking for. When he had both in hand, he walked back to the
bed and sat down. He put the paper aside and looked through the album,
turning the pages slowly, scanning each picture, staring at Blake's
beautiful smile. As he did, his heart seemed to ache just a little more
with each turn of the page. Getting to the last page, he slowly closed the
album and put it aside, picking up Blake's graduation speech. Unfolding
it, he read the words slowly.
Board members, Carter High faculty, and graduating seniors, welcome
to Carter High's graduation ceremony for the class of 2010.
When I first learned that I was Salutatorian, it was no surprise to
me that my best friend, Kelly Marx, was the Valedictorian. She and I had
been in competition with each other since our friendship started, and I am
proud to have her as our class Valedictorian.
Sadly, I knew I wasn't going to make it to this graduation ceremony,
and I gave Kelly a two word note to read as my speech. It read: `Be
yourself'. After thinking it over a while, I realized that I needed to
elaborate, so I gave her this to read instead.
My message to all of you seniors today is to be yourself, and to not
let anyone stand in the way of your dreams. When I came from middle school
to Carter High, I wasn't worried about anything. I was just a freshman who
wanted to do his best so my parents would be proud of me. By the time I
was a sophomore, I realize that no matter how well I did in school, there
was a secret that I found out about myself, and this secret would tear my
family apart. Which, unfortunately, it did.
My secret was that I am gay. I know most of you don't care, and most
of you probably don't really know me, but because of my secret, I lost my
family. They found out, hated that I was different and threw me out of
their house and disowned me. For a month, I lived in my car, parking at a
rest area just north of the city, taking my showers during my gym hours at
the school, and doing my homework where ever I could find a quiet place to
study.
During this time, I had someone that I cared for, but we weren't
exactly communicating, and I failed to let my other friends in on what had
happened, for fear of rejection. I was naive to think they would turn me
away, but I was scared. I had never been more scared in my life.
Eventually, the family of the person I love, took me in as one of their
own, not caring about my secret. Todd and I started communicating again,
and things returned to normal.
Because of the love and support that Todd and his parents, Christine
and Don Blyth, had for me, I am still standing today, able to one day,
reach my own dreams. They gave me the love that my parents refused to give
me, because they couldn't handle that I was different. Todd gave me my
life back, and because of that, I will always be grateful and will love him
until time ceases to exist.
In summary, when you're down, turn to your friends and family to help
you through the tough times. When you have a dream, reach as far and as
high as you can to achieve it, and most of all, be who you are, not who
someone wants you to be. If you do, you will be proud of yourself and know
that, at least, you were genuine.
I wish you the best of luck on your future journeys and wish you the
most happiness your heart can hold. Thank you.
Todd wiped away the tears again, and fell over on the bed so his head
could rest on his pillow. Grabbing the album, he slipped the speech inside
the front cover, closed it, and held it to his chest. As he closed his
eyes, one lone tear was squeezed out and it rolled over his skin, down his
cheek until it hit the pillow, where it quickly absorbed the liquid drop.
The following morning, Don walked in to wake Todd, but saw he was
still in his clothes. He sat down on the bed and saw, on the other side of
Todd, the photo album. He, quietly, reached over his son and picked up the
album. When he opened it, the speech fell out and he followed it down to
the floor with his eyes. Opening the book, he saw what the album
contained. He looked through a few pages before he felt Todd stir.
Looking over, he closed the album, and saw Todd open his eyes.
"Mornin', son," Don said.
Stretching, Todd said, "Mornin' dad." Finishing his stretch, he
asked, "What are you doing here?"
"Just coming to wake you. It's almost ten. You've been asleep for
over 12 hours. Are you okay?" his father asked with concern.
Todd gave a sigh, and said, "Yeah, I guess so."
"How'd the concert go last night?" Don asked.
"It was fine until Levi, the singer, sang one song, then I lost it.
It made me think of Blake, and I had to leave the club, I was crying so
hard."
"What's the name of the song?" Don asked.
"I can't remember. I heard it for the first time last night. After
getting outside, Zack found me and sat with me while I broke down."
"You miss Blake that much?" Don asked.
"Yeah. I can't get a good night's sleep. I miss going to the movies
with him. I miss holding him."
"What are you going to do about it?" Don asked.
"Nothing I can do. I just gotta wait for him to call." Todd paused
for a minute, then added, "Zack actually told me to go after Blake."
"I think that's a great idea. I was thinking the same thing," Don
said.
Clearing his eyes from the morning mist, he said, "Dad, I wouldn't
even know where to start looking, much less, have the money to get there."
Standing, Don said he'd be right back. A minute later, he was back
in the room and handed Todd the postcard Blake had sent him a few weeks
earlier. Taking it, Todd said, "I know he's in Montana, I just don't know
where."
Don leaned over and pointed to the postmark in the top right hand
corner of the card. "Says the city he mailed it from right here and on the
other side is the city of Missoula. It can't be too far away from each
other, I don't imagine."
Todd looked at the postmark and read that it was mailed from Eureka
Falls, Montana, then turned the card over and saw the city name his father
mentioned.
"I don't have the money to get there, even if I did want to go."
Don reached in his back pocket and sad, "You better start packing,"
then handed over one of his credit cards.
Taking it, Todd asked, "Are you serious?"
"Yeah. Go after him. Do what you need to do to stop hurting. Visit
with him or go and tell him goodbye. Just do what you have to do."
Todd glanced back at the credit card then back to his father and
said, with a smile forming on his lips, "Okay. I'll do it."
"Good, before you leave, stop by the office downstairs and see me,"
Don said, then closed the door behind him.
Todd didn't waste time. He jumped off the bed, stripped down to his
underwear and headed to the bathroom to get his shower. When he was done,
he came back to his room, dressed, and then packed his suitcase with as
many clothes as he could. Grabbing the album, he put that on top of the
clothes. He went back to the bathroom and got his toiletries and put them
in his dopp kit. When he was done, he brought that back and put it in the
suitcase and zipped it up.
Looking around the room, he thought of one more thing he wanted to
take with him. Walking over to the desk, he opened the top right drawer
and reached in and grabbed both silver rings and dropped them in his
pocket. Once he gave the room one last glance, he headed down the stairs
with his suitcase in hand. Dropping the bag at the bottom of the stairs,
his mother heard it and walked around from the kitchen.
"What's the bag for?" she asked.
"I'm going to Montana. I'm going to find Blake," he said, turning to
go to his dad's office.
Christine, not being able to ask another question, was quick on his
heels, following Todd into the office.
"What do you mean, you're going to Montana. Who said you could?" she
asked.
"I did," Don said. "He needs to do this. He needs to figure things
out with Blake, so I told him to go."
"But, that's like, almost 3000 miles away," she protested.
"And New York was almost a 1000. I trust him, he'll be fine," Don
said. Looking at Todd, he said, "Give me your license."
Todd grabbed his wallet and produced his license and handed it over.
Don put the credit card, his license and Todd's license on the face of a
copier and hit the copy button. Retrieving the paper and giving Todd his
license and credit card, he sat at his desk and wrote something on the
paper, signed his name and handed it to Todd.
"If you have any problems using the card, show them this. If they
need to call me, have them do so."
Todd took the paper and scanned its contents. It said that Todd had
complete permission to use the card with Don's blessings and to please
honor this request. At the bottom was Don's signature.
"How are you going to get there?" Christine asked.
"I don't know. I didn't think of that," Todd said.
"Then drive. You're car's in great shape. Just be careful and stop
before you get too tired," Don said.
"Don, can't we talk about this for a minute, please?" Christine
pleaded.
"What's there to talk about? If I was in Todd's place and I was
coming after you, no one would be able to stop me."
Christine thought about that for a moment, then spoke, carefully, and
said, "What if...Blake doesn't want to be found?"
"That's just too bad. I want to work this out, or get on with my
life. I hate being in limbo like this. I want to know what's going on,
once and for all," Todd explained.
After a couple moments, Christine gave up and said, "Okay, but you be
careful, keep your phone on you at all times, and at the first sign of
trouble, you call us."
"I will, mom. I promise," Todd said, grabbing her in a hug.
Letting her go, he grabbed his father and said, "Thanks, dad."
Releasing his dad, he said, "I love you guys. I'll be safe. No
speeding," he said, looking at his mom. "I'll check in every night, and
when I get there, I'll let you know."
"Those are the rules. Don't break them," Christine said, pointing at
Todd.
"I won't, mom," he said, smiling. "I promise," then headed back to
the stairs and grabbed his bag. He walked over to the door and went down
the stairs to his car. He placed the bag in the trunk and opened the
driver's door and was about to get in when he heard his mom speak one more
time.
"I love you, Todd. Tell Blake we said hey, and be careful."
"I will. I love you, too," then got in and closed the door. Within
ten minutes, he was on the interstate, going to search for the boy he
loves.
The following Sunday morning at the ranch, Blake opened his eyes and
for a moment, didn't recognize his room. It only took him a couple of
seconds to figure it out. `New place,' he thought to himself. Sitting up
in bed, he looked around the room and realized he needed to get a few
things while he was out shopping for sheets. He made a mental list and,
then started to write it down, as the list grew.
When he was done, he got dressed, and headed outside towards the
breakfast table. When he arrived, he saw that he wasn't too late and
grabbed an empty seat beside Jackson.
"Glad you were able to make it," Mama said.
"Thanks. Me too. I would've been upset, missing your breakfast,"
Blake said.
"How'd you sleep?" Papa asked then stuffed a strip of bacon in his
mouth.
"Great. Everything is great, Papa. Thanks."
"Glad to hear it," Papa said.
"What do you have planned for today?" Miguel asked in Spanish, then
translated through Charles.
"Just gotta go and get some things for the room, and some sheets for
the bed," Blake explained.
"Honey," Mama said in his southern drawl, "there's no rush for the
sheets. Take your time."
"Well, I need to get other things. Might as well get it all in one
swoop," Blake explained.
"Do you know where the Wal-Mart is over in Missoula?" Mama asked.
"Yes, sir. I've been there a couple of times with my cousins. And,
if I get lost, I'll have Jack with me."
Jackson looked over and said, "You will, will you?"
"Of course. You're not doing anything, right?" Blake asked.
"Didn't plan on anything," Jackson said.
"Good, then you're coming with me. We won't be but an hour," Blake
said.
"Well, I guess I know what I'm doing today," Jackson said, then
smiled at Blake.
Once breakfast was done, Blake went in to get his list and his keys,
then came out and closed his door, only to see in the crack of Jackson's
door, that Jackson was taking his shirt off. Blake knocked and Jackson
said to come in.
"What are you doing?" Blake asked.
"About to take a shower. Is that okay?" Jackson asked.
"I wanted to go and get this over with. Take your shower tonight. I
am," Blake said, offhandedly.
Jackson thought about it a moment. What he didn't tell Blake was
that he was dying to see Blake in the nude. He had his eye on Blake since
he arrived at the ranch, but didn't want to show any interest, for fear of
scaring him away, somehow. He wanted to jump at the chance to say okay.
He had waited for this chance to come along for a long time and last night
just about killed him, not getting in the shower with Blake. He had
already made up his mind, but wanted to feign disinterest and played it off
and said, "But I feel dirty, probably smell it, too."
Blake walked further in the room, stood next to Jackson, grabbed his
arm and lifted it up. Taking a whiff, he said, "All I smell is your
deodorant. You're still clean. You didn't do anything yesterday."
"But my hair," Jackson said, still mock-protesting.
"Put on your cowboy hat and come on. We'll only be an hour, and when
we get back, you can have sex with me."
Jackson did a double take and looked at Blake. "Did you just say I
could have sex with you?"
"No," Blake said. "I said, you can play a game with me." He looked
at Jackson and asked, "Is that what you heard?"
Scratching his head, Jackson said, "Yeah, I think I did. I must be
getting hornier than I thought." He was sure he had ruined anything that
might happen between the two of them, if that day ever came.
"I'm just kidding. I did say it, but only to get you to stop
complaining about not getting a shower right now. Come on. Just one hour,
then the rest of the day is free."
Grabbing his shirt, he put it back on, then grabbed the cowboy hat
and plopped it on his head. He passed Blake and said, "You're mean," and
smiled as he walked to the door.
Following Jackson, Blake asked, "Why? Do you want to have sex with
me?"
"I don't know. I'd have to think about it," Jackson lied, knowing
damn well he wanted Blake to pound the daylights out of him.
"Yeah, okay," Blake said, and strolled past Jackson. As he did,
Jackson slapped him on the butt and said, "You're such a tease." Blake
looked over his shoulder and just smiled.
After their trip to the store, they returned home and Blake went
about making up his bed and putting his other supplies away. After he was
done, he walked back to the living area, sitting right in front of the
small kitchen, and sat on the sofa next to Amy and asked, "Whatcha
watching?"
"I don't know. Some movie just started, but I missed the opening
credits. All I know is it has Angelina Jolie in it. She's so fucking hot,
I don't even care."
Blake gave a giggle and sat back and watched. By the time the movie
was over, almost everyone was sitting around the TV, watching the end of
that movie, and two others that came on after it. By the time night came,
Blake excused himself and went to his room. He grabbed his towel and was
about to grab his toiletries, but realized they were already in the
bathroom. As he exited his room, he was just shutting the door as Jackson
opened his. Jackson was standing there, nude from the waist up, wearing
only a towel around his waist.
"You about to get your shower, too?" Blake asked.
"Yeah. Is that where you're headed?" Jackson asked.
"Yeah, but give me a minute," Blake said, and opened his door. He
swung it shut, but it didn't close all the way, and Jackson peeked inside,
watching Blake. To his astonishment, he saw Blake getting undressed. With
his back to the door, Blake shucked his underwear then bent over to get
pick them up, giving Jackson a great view of his anus. Standing back up,
he grabbed his towel and wrapped it around himself and came back to the
door.
Before Blake turned, Jackson turned his body and had his back to the
door as Blake exited. "Don't know why I was going in there fully clothed.
Just wasn't thinking, I guess."
Both boys headed towards the bathroom, with Jackson leading the way,
and once he entered, he held the door opened for Blake, then headed to the
sink. Once the door was safely shut, Jackson grabbed his towel and balled
it up and put it on the counter. Grabbing his toothbrush and toothpaste,
he came back to a sink and started working on his teeth.
Blake did the same, however, he left his towel on. While he was
brushing his teeth, he couldn't help but look in the reflection of the
mirror behind him to check Jackson out. He looked at Jackson's butt and
had to hold himself back from reaching out and touching it. It looked
perfect. He could see Jackson's butt muscles flexing as he moved to keep
his balance or shuffled his frame.
Jackson put his things away, just as Blake was rinsing his mouth.
When he was done, he followed Jackson into the shower, only to find Jackson
using one of the urinals when he entered. He looked over and saw what
Jackson was doing, and quickly averted his eyes.
"Sorry. Didn't know you were pissing," Blake said, walking to his
little shelf and hanging his towel on the hook below it.
"No problem. You do it too," Jackson said, knowing in a moment, he
would get to see Blake in the buff. When he heard Blake turn on the water,
he flushed the urinal, and turned around. He saw Blake with his back
turned towards the pole and everything he wanted to see was staring right
at him.
"Holy, shit, Blake. You have some nice muscles on you. I can't
believe that just a couple of years ago you were as skinny as you say you
were," Jackson said, looking Blake's body up and down, lingering on the
muscle hanging between Blake's legs.
"Yeah, well, I was," Blake said, giving Jackson the once over, and
liked very much what he saw, as well. "Todd got me on a routine and I had
nothing to do while he was at school, so I put all my focus on working
out."
"It suits you very well," Jackson said, hanging up his towel and
choosing the shower head directly next to Blake's.
While Blake wasn't looking, Jackson kept pulling on his penis, trying
to make it lengthen, but not enough to get it hard. He liked to show off,
and hoped that Blake would like what he saw. As he washed his hair, he
purposely put too much shampoo in his hands and started to wash his hair,
letting the suds fall over his face, hoping that Blake was watching him,
knowing his eyes were closed.
Blake was watching Jackson. The soap in his hands was moving over
his body very slowly as he watched Jackson's penis move with every movement
Jackson made. He wanted to get down on his knees and suck it so bad, but
had to remind himself that he couldn't. It's very possible Jackson wasn't
even interested, but even if he was, he still had Todd on the brain, and
knew he couldn't do anything.
When Jackson had washed his hair for a good long while, he rinsed his
hands and hair, then opened his eyes to see Blake sporting a semi-hard
cock. "You got a nice piece there, Blake," Jackson said.
"What?" Blake said, looking up into Jackson's eyes.
"You're dick. Looks like it could get huge when it's hard."
Blake looked down and said, "Nah. This is as big as it gets. When
it's hard, it just stands up and gets thicker. I've always been a show-er,
not a grow-er. But you," Blake said, flicking his eyes down, "you look
like you get big."
"Oh, I do. I'm the opposite of you. I'm a grow-er, not a show-er.
Right now, it looks to be about four inches. When it's hard, it gets
thicker and grows to about nine inches."
"Holy, shit. Nine inches?" Blake said, flabbergasted.
"Yeah. It's a blessing and a curse, really," Jackson said. Seeing
the look on Blake's face, he said, "It's nice to have a large cock when
fucking, but it's a curse because I've never been deep throated. I've
always wanted to have it done, but no one can take it all. Always about an
inch left."
"Well, Todd's eight and a half, and I can take all of him, but he's
not quite as thick as me, either. I bet you've torn some guys up with that
thing in the past, huh?"
"I've had my share of fun with it, and had a couple of guys begging
me to stop. I guess you could say so," he said, seeing Blake's cock stand
a little more. "We better change the subject before you get a full blown
hard on," Jackson said.
"It wouldn't bother me if I did. I've already had sex in front of
other people. I don't care," Blake explained.
"How'd that happen?" Jackson asked.
Blake explained about the camp that he and Todd had visited and what
had gone on in the woods on the trail, and how he and Todd ended up having
sex outside and a crowd gathered. He also mentioned about having sex in
the same room with his cousins. When he was done with the story, he saw
that Jackson was at half mast.
"Damn, you are thick," he said to Jackson.
Jackson looked down and saw his was sporting a semi hard on, and
noticed Blake grab and give his own penis a stroke, before letting his hand
fall away.
"Yeah, but it's got about three more inches to go before it's fully
erect," Jackson explained. A moment of silence passed, then Jackson said,
"Now, because of your story, I'm gonna have to jerk off tonight. Sometimes
I hate how high my sex drive is. I wish I had a boyfriend to fuck. My
hand just isn't cutting it anymore."
"I know what you mean," Blake said. "While you're jerking in your
room, I'll be doing the same thing in mine."
When their showers were over, they headed for their perspective rooms
and said goodnight. Jackson said he'd see Blake later, then they entered
and closed their doors. Putting his towel over the back of his computer
chair, Blake got on the bed and closed his eyes for a moment before
lowering his hand down his chest, over his stomach and grabbing his flaccid
cock in his hand. He squeezed it a few times to get it hard, and when it
was, he started his up and down motion, keeping the image of Todd in his
head.
Over in Jackson's room, he put his towel away, then walked over to
the wall separating his and Blake's room, and lowered himself to his knees
and moved a little plug from the wall, and looked through it. When he did,
he saw Blake on his bed, jerking off. The hole was missed by Blake when he
hung up his clothes in his closet. It wasn't that noticeable, but if you
were down on the floor looking, you could find it. Jackson had found it
was already there when he moved in, but took advantage of the hole every
opportunity he got. The last guy that occupied Blake's room wasn't nearly
as good looking as Blake, and Jackson was thanking his lucky stars that
Blake got the job.
After about twenty minutes, Jackson saw the first volley of Blake's
cum shoot into the air and land on Blake's chest. When it did, Jackson's
climax shot out of his cock and hit the wall with an audible splat. When
he was spent, he gave a last look at Blake and saw him licking his fingers.
He wanted to jerk off again, seeing this, but he was just too tired. He
replaced the plug and got on his bed. A moment later, he was asleep, still
with a drop of cum hanging from the tip of his dick.
Blake grabbed his dirty tee shirt and wiped his chest clean, then
threw it in the corner. Turning off the lights, he dropped back down on
the bed and fell asleep.
Over the next week, he fell into a better routine and was getting
more sleep, which gave him more energy during the day. He was loving the
new surroundings and even got used to showering with the boys after work.
He looked at it as his reward for a hard day's work. He never told them
this, but he had a smile on the inside every time it was time to get clean.
On Friday, six days after Blake moved in, Jackson had asked him,
after their shower, if Blake watched porn. Blake said that he did, and
Jackson went to his room and picked up a DVD disk and brought it back to
Blake. Blake looked at the blank disk and told Jackson thanks, and headed
to his room. He put the disk on his computer and took off his towel and
draped it over the back of the chair. He didn't get to the disk until
about a half an hour later. He usually waited until right before bed to
jerk off, but he was excited to see what Jackson had given him.
Still in the nude, Blake walked over to his computer and booted it
up. When it was ready, he popped the disk in and instinctively grabbed his
flaccid member and gave it a couple of strokes. When the menu popped up,
he clicked on the play link and a few moments later, a title flashed across
the screen: `A LONG, HARD Knight'.
"Interesting title," Blake said to himself.
The screen came to life in a room that looked to be from the Middle
Ages. There was a man behind metal bars, presumably, locked in some sort
of jail, for a crime unknown to the watcher. A moment later, a man in full
body armor, complete with a pointy mask with slits for fresh air to enter,
his voice to be heard, and to see out of, started some dialog. A moment
later, he picked up a key and opened the cell, then ordered the man to
strip. The prisoner complied and the man in the armor removed one of his
armored gloves, then reached over and grabbed the prisoner's limp penis in
his hand.
After a couple of strokes, it started to thicken and harden. Before
it was standing at full attention, the man in the armor unclasped his
middle and removed the shield covering his crotch. Beneath the metal was
nothing. Just the flesh of the man in the metal suit.
"Suck it," the man demanded to the prisoner.
The prisoner hesitated and the man, using his other hand, still
encased in its metal glove, reached up and put it on the man's head and
pushed him down. The man gave a small yelp, at the metal forcing him down,
and dropped to his knees and leaned forward.
Upon the prisoner starting to suck the man off, Blake grabbed himself
and started stroking. He had just gotten himself nice and hard when on the
screen, you saw the blow job continue, then you saw the helmet in the
frame, letting you know the man took it off his head.
Just as Blake started jerking faster, the frame cut from the blowjob
to the man getting the blowjob with his head back. The camera angle was
from the bottom, so you still couldn't see his face. When he lowered his
head, Blake, who at this point, had his chair balanced on its back two
feet, pushed a little too hard and fell over. Getting back up, he looked
at the screen, rewound the movie and saw the guy enjoying the blowjob was
Jackson.
He hit pause and went to the door. Opening it, he saw Jackson,
there, waiting for him with a smile on his face.
"What the hell?" Blake started to say.
Jackson quickly let himself in Blake's room, and closed the door,
saying, "Shhh. Nobody else knows."
"What the hell is this?" Blake asked again, pointing at the screen.
He wasn't mad, just shocked.
"That's who I used to be," Jackson said, sitting down on the bed,
getting a good look at Blake's engorged member.
Blake, oblivious to his own nudity, grabbed the chair off the floor,
turned it around and sat, giving Jackson his full attention. "I'm going to
assume, that since you gave me this, you're ready to tell me your story?"
"I trust you, so therefore, I guess I'm ready. But please, no one
knows the real reason. It's just a bit embarrassing and even a bit
disgusting to talk about."
Blake had wanted juicy details before, but now, he was actually a
little worried at what he was about to hear.
"I grew up in a little town in Ohio called Greer. It's about halfway
between Akron and Columbus. My childhood was pretty much okay, but my
father liked to use me as a punching bag starting when I was like ten."
Blake shifted in his seat, hoping Jackson wasn't bringing up bad
memories just to satisfy his curiosity. "Jack, if it's going to hurt to
talk about, I don't need to know."
"No, it's okay. I've gotten over everything that was done to me,
with the help of a therapist. Sometimes it's good to tell it. Get it off
my chest again."
Blake sat there, silent, and waited for Jackson to continue.
"Anyway, about the same time, my mother started mentally abusing me.
Called me names, told me I was no good, said she wished I had never been
born. You know, stuff like that. Well, at 12, things escalated to sexual
abuse by both my parents. Depending on who was holding the camera, the
other one was having sex with me."
Blake started crying on the inside, but held steady on the outside.
"They would record everything and then let their friends watch what
happened. A couple years after that, my parents started to let their
friends use me like they did. When the sex first started, I knew it wasn't
right, but I never said anything because my father threatened to kill me.
Being a kid, you do what your parents tell you for fear of disappointing
them. I guess that's what I did. Basically, I let my parents and their
friends rape me, repeatedly.
"So, over the next three years, I endured a lot of sex between a lot
of people, mainly my parents and their friends. It wasn't until I left
that I slept with someone near my own age. At 17, I ran away from home
because I had had enough of it all. I left a note for my parents telling
them that if they ever came looking for me, I was going to turn in one of
the movies I stole from them and they would go to jail for the rest of
their lives."
"Why didn't you turn it in to the police instead of running away?"
Blake asked, enraptured in the story.
"I never had one of the movies. I wanted them to think I did, so
they would be scared enough not to come after me. I wanted to leave them
behind and never see them again. Anyway, I left and moved in with a friend
in Columbus. While I was there I got familiar with the internet and met
this guy in a chat room. He lived in San Francisco and he was amazing. He
was sweet, he was funny, he cared about me and what had happened and he
sent me his picture. He was 22, with blonde hair, blue eyes and a body
that I had always wanted, which," he said, as a side note, "I now have,"
then gave a smile.
"Anyway, I already told you about how that went. I lived in my car
for a couple weeks until I found an ad saying I could earn up to $500 a
day. I answered it and when I got there I found out it was for porn. At
first, I flatly refused. I had already had enough sex to last a lifetime
and I didn't want anymore. But after a few days, I realized that I had
never had sex on my terms. It was always by my parent's terms, and thought
that maybe it would be different if I could call the shots, or at least,
some of them.
"I went back to the guy and auditioned for him. He loved what he saw
and told me that when I turned 18 to come back and see him. Luckily, my
birthday was only a few weeks away. So, on my 18th birthday, I went back
and the next day I was cast in a movie. I realized that I was actually
good as a top and refused to bottom for anyone. I didn't want it to bring
up any bad memories in the middle of a shoot.
"So, from there, I started working out, getting my body in great
shape and had a lot of great sex with a lot of hot studs. The first time I
did bottom, I had a panic attack. I couldn't do it. I wasn't ready for
someone to fuck me after being raped for so many years. Anyway, I did porn
for the next couple of years and won a lot of awards because of it."
"Hold on," Blake said, confused. "They have awards for porn?"
Yeah," Jackson said, laughing and laying back on the bed, propping
his head on his right hand. "I got the Best Top Award, Best Cock Award,
Best Top Ass, Best Male Performer, Best Twink Performer, Best Group Scene
and a few others. There are a few award shows for this. It's crazy, but
for a while it was fun. I had earned some money to get myself an apartment
in a fairly decent part of town and my career exploded. I was the most
sought after porn star for almost two years. When my popularity started to
fade, I dropped out and decided to deal with my past so I found a
therapist.
"He helped me through everything that happened, wanted to even get
the police involved, but I refused. I didn't want to have to relive my
nightmare in court and I never want to see my family again. My
grandparents had already died and I didn't have any aunts or uncles that I
was close to. No siblings, either, so it was just us three. I told him
that if the police came to look for me, I would run and he assured me that
he would do as I wished.
"When I got past the therapy, I ended up meeting the man of my
dreams, or so I thought. He was a great man, very handsome, funny,
wonderful personality. He was everything I wanted rolled into one neat,
little package. He was on his way to getting into politics.
Unfortunately, he was a Republican and even though I didn't like that, I
figured I would overlook it. I fell in love and I wanted it to last.
Sadly, it didn't.
"About three months into the relationship, he hit me. When he did, I
reverted back to that same little boy whose father beat him, only he, my
boyfriend at the time, apologized to me and stupidly, I forgave him. I
also forgave him the next three times he hit me too. Finally, I had had
enough of that so I went to his house one afternoon while he was still at
work. He had given me a key and I let myself in. This time, I brought a
video camera with me, and hid it on the bookshelf, covered the little red
light with some black tape, and when I heard him drive up the driveway, I
started the recording, stripped down, and was waiting for him in nothing
but my underwear.
"I had called him after I set things up and told him I was at his
place, waiting on him, so he knew I was there. When he came in, he got
undressed and we had some great sex. I had even gotten my courage to
bottom for him. Well, when it was over, I asked a simple question and it
started an argument. I didn't back down because he and I disagreed on a
political point. Unfortunately, I hit his buttons hard, and didn't even
realize it. He ended up beating me so badly, I ended up in the hospital,
telling everyone that I was gay bashed."
"Why didn't you just tell them who it was?" Blake asked.
"Because, I didn't want him getting out of it somehow and I also
wanted to wait until he ran for a major political office to release the
tape, which I still have. Embarrass him to no end. Give him no choice but
to retire from politics in shame. I figured that would give me more
satisfaction," he said, with an evil grin.
"Well, how'd you end up here?" Blake asked, meaning the ranch.
"Right before that beating, I had met Mama and Papa on the cable cars
and they invited me to dinner. They told me about the ranch and told me if
I ever wanted to move away, to give them a call. After I healed from the
beating, I did just that. That was four years ago. Until you got here, I
was the baby of the family," Jackson said, lying down on the bed,
completely.
Blake stood, still nude, and crawled up on the bed and laid his body
down, pinning Jackson's right hand just to the left of Blake's crotch, and
put his arm over Jackson's body and his head on Jackson's chest and said,
"Thanks for the trust," and gave a squeeze.
When Blake was draped over him, Jackson said to himself that he loved
this and wanted it to happen again and again. He knew his hand was
touching the pubic hair of Blake's crotch, only inches from Blake's penis
and he felt himself getting excited. If Blake had only moved two more
inches, Blake's penis would be in his palm. He knew that any moment he was
going to start showing his excitement, but didn't care. When Blake finally
did notice Jackson's excitement, he inquired about it, pushing the tent in
Jackson's pants with his index finger, then quickly pulling away, watching
it swing back and forth, until it stopped, pointing at the ceiling.
"Sorry. It's been so long since someone put their head on my chest.
It just feels good, and it's romantic to me."
Blake rolled sideways and pulled himself up, eye level with Jackson
and said, "I don't mind holding you, if that's what you need, but...I can't
do more than that."
Jackson dropped a hand on the arm that Blake had across his chest,
and said, "I appreciate that, Blake...and I understand. You need to work
on things at home first."
"Yeah," Blake said, putting his head on the pillow. When he did, he
looked down at his body and realized, for the first time, that he was nude.
Popping up, he said, "Oh, shit. I am so sorry. I forgot I didn't have any
clothes on," and pulled the pillow he was just using over to cover himself.
"Don't be sorry, Blake. You have a beautiful body. Don't be ashamed
of it," Jackson said, sitting up, facing Blake.
"I'm not ashamed of it, I just didn't want to make you feel
uncomfortable," Blake explained.
"I'm not embarrassed. I did porn, remember?" he said, pointing at
the computer. "And, I only told you a half truth a minute ago about me
getting excited. It was exciting to have someone put their head on my
chest, but because you were nude, it added to the excitement. You have a
beautiful body, Blake." As Jackson said this, he slowly moved his hand
over to the pillow and pulled it away. "You are beautiful, Blake. I mean
that. Both inside and out. Don't ever let anyone tell you any different."
For a moment, Blake felt uncomfortable being naked in front of
Jackson, hearing those words, but he let the emotion slip away. He gave
Jackson a smile and told him thanks for the compliment.
Feeling that if he stayed any longer, he might hurt any future
chances with Blake, Jackson sat up on the bed and stood. "I guess I better
get back to my room."
Blake stood with Jackson and wrapped his arms around his new
confidant, pressed their bodies together, and gave him a hug. Jackson
hugged him back, then heard Blake say, "Thanks again for trusting me. I
won't tell anyone," then brought his lips close to kiss Jackson on the
cheek.
Jackson pulled out of the hug, gave Blake a smile and a wink, and
went back to his own room. Before he could leave, Blake spoke up and
asked, "You got any good movies to watch? I'll look at this later," giving
a smile and a wink to Jackson.
"Yeah. Come on over. I'll pick one out," Jackson said.
Blake had thrown on a pair of Todd's basketball shorts that he had
taken from the house in Atlanta, and a tee shirt, and headed over. About
an hour later, Blake started feeling as if something inside him wasn't
quite right. Everything had been fine only moments before, but his stomach
felt like it was tying itself in knots. A few moments later, Blake started
getting a queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. He tried to push it
out of his mind, and concentrate on the movie, but before he knew it, he
was doubled over in pain.
"Are you okay, Blake?" Jackson asked, putting a hand on Blake's back.
"I...don't...know," Blake said through gasps of air.
"What do you want me to do?" Jackson asked, panicked.
"Nothing...yet," Blake answered, and grasped his stomach tight and
started breathing deeply.
After about fifteen minutes, and many positions, Blake sat up, eyes
red from squeezing them shut, tight, the pain was gone. He sat back on the
bed and breathed heavily. The entire time, Jackson was rubbing Blake's
back, wanting to do something.
"What happened?" Jackson asked.
"I have no idea. I can tell you it hurt, though," Blake said, wiping
his eyes.
"You wanna call it a night? Get some sleep?" Jackson asked.
"Nah. Let's finish the movie. I'm feeling better now," Blake said,
still feeling a bit uneasy in his chest.
Over the weekend, he and Jackson stuck together like glue. They
talked and shared more of themselves. They both felt that they could trust
the other completely. They got more comfortable with each other and on
Sunday evening, Jackson invited Blake over to his room to watch a movie.
When Blake arrived, Jackson answered the door nude, and asked if it
bothered Blake. Blake said no, and stripped down and joined Jackson on the
bed, while watching the movie.
Jackson was starting to get deeper feelings for Blake and wanted to
make a move so bad, but was still afraid of making Blake uncomfortable. He
figured Blake left for a reason, and even though he received an
explanation, he felt there was something more that Blake wasn't telling
him. He felt that Blake left, because he didn't want to be with Todd
anymore. And because of that, he decided that he was going to at least try
and kiss Blake.
On Tuesday, Jackson had worked up the courage to make his move that
evening. He was going to invite Blake over for another movie, and at the
right time, lean over and kiss him. And hopefully, not have Blake pull
away. Sadly, his plan was ruined by an uninvited guest that no one saw
coming.
When they sat down to dinner, Jackson sat next to Blake, like always,
when everyone heard a car drive up. Mama took charge and said he'd go and
let them know they were closed, and told everyone to start eating.
Mama walked around the edge of the house and saw a blue Honda Accord
park. A moment later, the occupant got out and met Mama about half way.
"I'm sorry, young man, but we've closed for the day. We reopen
tomorrow at eight."
"Yes, sir. I understand that, but I'm not here for...Well, I'm
actually looking for someone. I went to a bookstore down in the town, and
they said that the person I'm looking for works here," the young man said.
"Who is it you're looking for?" Mama asked, skeptical.
"Blake. Blake Moore," he said.
Mama looked the man up and down and asked, "Who are you?"
"Sorry," he said, and reached out his hand. "My name's Todd Blyth."
Mama cracked a big smile and took his hand. "Oliver West. It's
great to finally meet you, Todd."
Back at the table, everyone was talking and laughing and Jackson said
something that made everyone crack up. Everyone was so busy laughing, that
no one saw Mama and Todd walk around the house. A moment later, Mama
called Blake's name. When he turned, he couldn't believe what he was
seeing.
"There's someone here to see you," Mama said.
Blake couldn't hear anything. His eyes were focused on the man
standing next to Mama. He couldn't believe that Todd was actually standing
in Montana.
"Who's that?" Lindsay asked Blake.
Slowly, Blake stood, and without taking his eyes off his target, he
said, "That's... Todd."
Jackson jerked his head around and couldn't believe that the boy
standing next to Mama was Blake's boyfriend. He looked him up and down,
and instantly, he felt his heart begin to tear in half.
Blake had to tell his feet to move. He stared into Todd's eyes and
looked at his face. There wasn't a hint of emotion on it. No smile, no
frown, no angry eyes. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to run into
his arms, but was afraid he might get rejected. He brought his hands up to
his mouth and slowly started walking towards Todd. After a few steps, Todd
cracked a smile, and Blake couldn't hold back. He ran at Todd and flung
himself into Todd's embrace. Todd wrapped his arms around Blake for the
first time in months, and had to laugh. He heard Todd laugh and he held on
tighter allowing a tear to escape. After a few minutes, Blake pulled back
from Todd, wiped his eyes, and stared at him.
"Hi," Todd said.
After a moment's pause, Blake said, "Hi."
To Be Continued...