Date: Fri, 14 Sep 2012 19:49:57 +0200
From: Fred Harris <feintrainsmell@gmail.com>
Subject: The Feint Smell of Rain Chapter 4

This is the true story of a chance meeting, and the events that followed
it, that had a profound impact on my life.

I have changed the names of the people involved, but all places are the
actual places where the events took place. It is set in South Africa during
the 1970's, a very conservative and turbulent place at the time.

The story contains scenes with drug use by, and sex between, underage
boys. These scenes are there merely to tell what actually happened, and are
only included where it is deemed to be necessary, to know the circumstances
under which it took place and to advance the story line. If it is illegal
in your territory to read this, or if you object to any of the above on any
other grounds, do not continue.

It is a poignant tale of love, discovery, triumph and tragedy experienced
by two teenage boys.

The Feint Smell of Rain

Chapter 4

There was a loud knock on the bedroom door. It was dark. I realized that we
must have fallen asleep while we lay and cuddled. We were still naked. I
was on my back and Ben was lying on his side, his one arm draped over my
chest, and his one leg over mine. He breathed deep and rhythmically. The
knock on the door did not wake him.

I pushed him gently. "Ben... Ben..." I whispered "there is someone at the
door.

He woke up slowly. "Mmm... Huh? he asked a bit confused.

"There is someone at the door." I whispered again.

"Must be Bernie." he said and turned onto his back and stretched. "It is
already dark. What time is it?"

"I pressed the button on my digital watch with the glowing red
digits."Seven fourty five." I said. We slept for almost four hours.

He rolled on his side again and pressed himself closer to me. "I'd love to
wake up like this every time." he whispered in my ear.

"Aren't you going to open the door?" I asked.

"No, he would have knocked again if it was important." he lazily let me
know.

I turned on my side and faced him. I put my arm over him and my leg over
his. He pushed his one leg between mine. "How do you know who knocked?" I
wanted to know.

"Who else?" he said.

We lay there in the dark room and enjoyed the closeness to one
another. Neither of us spoke, but we both instinctively knew what the other
thought and felt.

"It feels as if we have always known one another." Ben whispered after a
few minutes. "This is my destiny... to be here like this... with you. The
last three days..."

"The last three days was the start of our future together." I
continued. "It feels to me... like I lived another life before I met
you... a distinct before and after feeling..."

"We have found each other. The future is now. I am so glad I went hustling
at the station." Ben said and he pulled me closer to him.

"Destiny... you're right... this was written in the stars." I said while I
contemplated the events that brought about the meeting at the
station. "What if I took an earlier train?" I wondered out loud.

"And what was the chance that I arrived at the station at exactly the
moment when you came walking out? If I was a few seconds earlier, I would
have been inside the toilets, and a few seconds later, and I would have
missed you." he added.

"But everything worked out just fine." I said.

"Just fine..." he repeated my words.

We were lost in our own thoughts again for several minutes. Then there was
a knock on the door again, and someone tried to open it.

"Benny, are you there?" an obviously very gay voice called.

"Yes!" Ben called back.

"Why is the door locked?" the voice wanted to know.

"It's Bernie." Ben said to me. "I'll open!" he called and got up off the
bed and unlocked the door. He opened it a small way and looked around
it. "Hi Bernie," he greeted.

"What are you doing in the dark?" Bernie asked.

"I just woke up." Ben said.

"The boys said you had someone here this afternoon. You know..."

Ben interrupted him, stepped away from the door and opened it wide, at the
same time flicking the light switch on. "He is still here." he said as he
gestured in my direction.

I was taken by surprise and turned onto my stomach to hide my
nakedness. "Hi." I greeted, not able to hide my embarrassment.

A short slightly overweight guy with short dark brown hair entered the
room. I estimated him to be in his early twenties. He was dressed in suit
pants and a purple dress shirt and had no shoes on. He did not greet me
back, instead he asked Ben; "Since when do you bring your tricks home?"

Ben came and sat on the bed next to me. "Meet Fred, my boyfriend." he
introduced me. "Fred, Bernie, my flat mate that I told you about."

"Hi." I greeted him for the second time.

Bernie still did not greet back. Instead he turned around to leave the
room.

"Aren't you going to greet my boyfriend?" Ben asked. He got up quickly and
followed Bernie out of the room. "Are you not going to greet my boyfriend,
Bernie!?" he asked again, this time in a load agitated tone.

"Boyfriend..." I heard Bernie say from outside the room. "Don't make me
laugh!"

"Why... Is it funny?" Ben asked loudly. I could hear that he was losing his
temper.

"You know the golden rule in this household." Bernie shouted. "No fucking
tricks!"

"I told you, he is my boyfriend!" Ben shouted back.

I got up off the bed and started to put my clothes on. I did not expect
that my presence would cause a fight between Ben and his flat mate. I felt
embarrassed and wanted to leave as soon as possible.

Then Bernie shouted. "You're a fucking whore, and whores do not have
boyfriends!"

I heard a load slapping sound and then a scuffle from the room next
door. Something fell on the floor and then I heard glass breaking.

"I will teach you a lesson, freak!" Ben screamed.

"Ouch! Stop it!" Bernie cried out.

The scuffle continued as I left the room. I saw the two of them wrestling
on the floor in the other room. Ben had his elbow around Bernie's neck, and
Bernie was on his back, half on top of Ben, kicking and desperately trying
to get out of Ben's grip.

I wanted to get away as quickly as possible and made for the outside
door. I ran down the steps and into the street, and then I walked at a
rapid pace in the direction of the station. I started to cry. I turned into
Claim Street and tried to compose myself as I walked past some people
standing outside the movie theater.

I turned west into De Villiers Street. Halfway down the block I started to
cry again. I decided to sit down on the sidewalk with my back against a
building. I pulled up my knees to my chest and folded my arms around it. I
sobbed uncontrollably, both from shock and disappointment. I trembled all
over. I could not believe what had happened.

After a few minutes a boy's voice shouted "There he is!"

I heard the footsteps of several people running in my direction. They
stopped in front of me. I did not look up.

"Thanks guys..." I recognized Ben's voice "you can go now." He sat down
next to me and put his arm around my shoulders. "Sorry." he said softly.

I lifted my head. The four boys that were in the bathroom earlier in the
day were standing there looking at us. I felt embarrassed and lowered my
head again.

"Show's over guys" Ben told them again "Thanks, but you go now, please."
Then he spoke to me. "At least they were in the vicinity and saw which way
you had gone. I thought I was not going to find you when I noticed that you
left."

I heard the boys' footsteps as they walked away without saying anything. We
sat quietly for a while with Ben's arm still draped around my shoulders. I
started to feel better. His presence had an effect on me that I could not
describe. I knew that when I was with him, nothing else mattered much.

Eventually he spoke again. "I am sorry you had to witness that, Fred. I am
sorry that Bernie treated you with disrespect. It was uncalled for and I
felt hurt and embarrassed by his behavior. And when he... when he called me
a whore, I lost it. And he knew it... he knew he pressed the wrong button."

"I did not want to cause trouble." I said. "I asked if it was fine if I
stayed over... and you..."

"I did not expect him to act like that." he interrupted. "I thought he
was... over..." his voice trailed off.

"Over you?" I asked.

"Yes." he said.

I thought about his admission. "How long ago did you break up?"

"No, we were never... He is like an older brother to me. I lived with him
and his mother for a few years... because my mom... you know." He had
difficulty saying what he wanted to say. He continued "They took me in when
I was ten. We fooled around often and... When I was twelve I stopped it,
because he became possessive. Eventually I realized that he had a crush on
me."

"How old is Bernie?" I asked.

"He'll be twenty two in July." he answered.

"So, they have been looking after you all this time?" I wanted to know.

"Yes and no." He explained further. "They gave me a roof over my head when
I needed one. His mother is a good woman and I love her dearly, but they
had their own problems... financially. I helped to pay the bills."

"Did she know that you... you know... how you got the money?"

"She thought that I did odd jobs. Push trolleys and carry bags for
tips. Bernie knew what I was doing." he answered my question.

"And he was fine with it?" I needed to know the extent of their
relationship to be able to decide what my next step should be.

"No, he was extremely jealous... but he never ratted me out to anyone. He
wanted me to stop. But... but I could not. There was no other way I could
make the money I made. And I got used to it... the money and the sex. Like
I said earlier, it is my reality... my life."

"Where is she now... his mother?" I probed deeper.

"When Bernie finished his matric, she married again and moved away. He got
a job at a bank and we moved into the flat together." he said.

"And that was... how long ago?" I asked.

"Three years." he said. "I made it clear, right from the start, that I
regard him as family and that there was no prospect of us ever having a
relationship. It was difficult at first, because he continued to get me to
change my mind, but eventually he... That's why I was so surprised by his
outburst tonight. I thought he was over it."

"This arrangement... the two of you sharing the flat... who pays...?"

"We share the rent. I pay the electricity. The money we get from the boys
pays for the food and the maid." he explained. "I can see what you are
getting at. It is as much my flat as it is Bernie's. The lease might be in
his name, but only because he is the one with the steady job.  In actual
fact, my contribution is more than his. He depends as much on me as I
depend on him."

Suddenly I felt exhausted. So much has happened since that morning that my
mind was reeling from everything. Ben's revelation that he was a
hustler. The young boys tricking. The weed and the sex and then the
fight. I loved Ben dearly, that I was hundred percent sure of, and I knew
that he loved me just as much. I was not sure if I would be able to handle
all the consequences of a relationship and the obvious difficulties I
realized that it will present. Up to that moment I have not had a chance to
think everything through rationally.

"Let's go back to your place. I am so tired now." I said.

He stood up from the ground and offered me his hand to pull me to my
feet. "Thanks" he said when I stood in front of him. "Thanks for giving us
a second chance. And don't worry about Bernie. He'll come around."

"Am I going to give us a second chance?" I thought to myself.

He put his arm around me and we walked in silence to the flat. When we
arrived there, the boys were sitting in the lounge. No one said a word when
we entered. They just gave us sideways glances and it was obvious that they
felt uncomfortable with the situation.

"Did you guys eat?" Ben asked.

"Yes, we had some burgers earlier." the tallest of the boys answered.

"Where's Bernie?" Ben wanted to know.

"In his room. Why did you fight?" Jamie, the blond boy from earlier in the
day asked close to tears.

"Common Jamie, it's none of your business!" the boy next to him admonished
him.

Jamie sat back in his chair again, looking down unhappily and played with
his fingers. Ben walked over to him, ruffled his hair and sat down on his
haunches in front of him. "Andrew is right, little man. You boys should not
be bothered about it. It has nothing to do with you guys. It is a matter
between me and Bernie." he explained softly.

"I don't like when people fight... It scares me." Jamie timidly said.

"Come... give me a hug." They hugged tightly, and then Ben whispered to
him. "You do not worry about anything. It is over now... OK?"

Jamie nodded his head and sat back in the chair again.

Ben stood up and walked over to me. He took my hand and we went to his
bedroom. I was struck by the tenderness and compassion he has shown towards
Jamie. I thought about the good qualities I have picked up in his
personality so far. Qualities that belied what I have learned about his
life so far.

"That was nice of you..." I said "putting Jamie at ease like that."

"I did what I could. Jamie's life was... hard." he said. "His parents both
physically abused him terribly. Violence upsets him a lot. He is just a
scared little boy. That is how he landed up in this situation. He just
needs affection and when people show it he... and they take advantage of
him... sexually. He equates the sex with love. It gives him a sense of
belonging, which he craves."

"Shame." was all I could say and my heart went out to the boy. Suddenly I
felt hopelessly inadequate. I felt the need to try and help the boy, but I
also knew that there was nothing much I could to about his situation.

As if he read my thoughts, Ben continued. "We know, all of us in the
community here, that his situation is not good. Most of the boys, myself
included, learned early on to detach ourselves from the sex. We think of
ourselves as rendering a service, like the dry cleaner on the corner, and
in exchange for it, we get paid. But short of having him removed and put in
a home or something, there is nothing much that we can do. At least here he
has friends and people who care about him."

"And his parents..." I asked.

"They know where he is. They do not have the capacity, emotionally and
otherwise, to care for him properly and we have warned them to leave him
alone, or we will report them to the authorities. They accept the fact." he
said.

"It is so sad." I said "I feel so sorry for him."

"You know... Bernie... he put himself on the line. We might have had a
fight earlier, but the guy is a gem. He can get into terrible trouble if
anyone reports all the boys living here, and what they do, to the
police. But he is a great person and he can not just stand by and see how
other people suffer." he explained.

"He sounds like a great guy." I said feeling a bit guilty that my first
impression of him was different.

"He is... and now you must excuse me, I must go and talk to him." Ben said
and he left the room and knocked on Bernie's door.

I heard him open the door and go into Bernie's room. I was alone with my
thoughts again. I did not know what to do. Ben's life was so different from
mine. I was not sure if I would be able to handle everything. I loved him a
lot, but I was not sure if I loved him enough to be able to not be bothered
about him hustling. It is something that was so alien to me, that I never
had to consider what I would do if I fell for someone involved in something
like that.

I decided that I would see the weekend out, before I made up my mind about
everything. I would discuss it with him and maybe we could come to some
agreement. It was going to be difficult, I knew, but I was willing to let
him do what he wanted when I was not there. When I was visiting, he had to
be mine exclusively.

Bernie's bedroom door opened. Ben came into his room, followed by
Bernie. "We sorted our shit out." Ben said.

Bernie came over and extended his hand in my direction. "I am really
sorry." he apologized. "I acted like an arsehole. I am sorry if I made you
feel unwelcome."

We shook hands. "Apology accepted." I said.

"Nice to meet you." Bernie said as we released our handshake.

"Good, now things are settled." Ben closed the matter. "I suppose you are
hitting the discos tonight?" he asked Bernie.

"You know then." Bernie affirmed. "I must get ready. It takes time to
become Bernice." he said with a chuckle and left the room.

"Are we still going?" Ben asked in my direction. "You feel up to it?"

"I suppose..." I answered.

"We do not have to, we can spend a quiet evening at home if you want." he
assured me.

"I am a bit tired," I said "but if we do not go, I bought the clothes for
nothing. I think we should go." I decided that it might be a good idea to
go and have a good time, and unwind a bit.

"You sure?" Ben asked.

"Yes." I assured him. "It is getting late though."

"It's only nine thirty. Europa only starts rocking by midnight." he said.

Ben made arrangements with Bernie and the boys for the use of the
bathroom. Bernie was to go first and the boys would use his water to wash
their dirtiest parts. That way, we would still have hot water for the two
of us to share.

While we were waiting our turn, he asked "Should I make another joint?"

"I'd like to, but I don't know if I should." I said "The one we had this
afternoon put me to sleep for four hours, remember."

"No problem. I have just the thing to keep you awake." he said winking at
me. "I am not a junkie," he continued "but I like to take an upper before I
go out. It is nothing strong or dangerous or something you will get hooked
on easily. So, if you want... but only if you want, you can have one as
well."

"I don't know... is it safe... I mean." I was not sure if I should take
something. Everything I have ever heard about drugs was about how bad it
was and how quickly you get hooked on it.

"I promise I would not give you anything dangerous." he said.

"Let's have the joint, and I will decide later." I left a backdoor open.

Ben took his red box out and made two small joints. When he was finished he
explained that they only smoke in the bathroom in the flat, and on account
of it being occupied, we should smoke outside. We left the flat and went
over the road. We stood with our shoulders against each other looking over
the wall between the street and the railway lines. We lit the joints. I was
a bit scared about smoking in the street, but he assured me that no one
will bother us about it, and if the cops came around, I should just flick
the joint onto the railway lines.

While we smoked he filled me in about the conversation he had with Bernie,
before he came and apologized. He was sure that they cleared the air for
once and for all about Bernie's crush on him and his feelings for Bernie
and for me. When the joints were finished, he turned to me and put his arms
around me. Then he turned me towards him and gave me a long kiss.

"I love you." he said and held me a while longer before we went hand in
hand back up to the flat.

Inside the two younger boys were getting ready to go to bed. The older ones
were getting dressed in clean clothes and I presumed they were on their way
to go and do some more business. Ben made sure the bath was cleaned and ran
the water for us to have our baths.

"Who is first?" I wanted to know when Ben came into the room.

"First?" he asked with a grin. "I thought we can help each other. The tub
is large enough. Don't you want to bath with me? Please have a bath with
me?" he mock-begged.

"You think it is a good thing? You know... I would get an instant hard-on
if I see you naked. What if it descends into debauchery?" I teased.

"Maybe..." he winked "that is my plan all along."

We laughed and started to take our clothes off. By the time we were naked,
we had both sprouted hard-ons. He playfully took my dick in his hand and
led me to the bathroom. Once the door was closed behind us, I decided that
I have to feel his dick in my mouth. I turned him around to face me and
dropped to my knees.

I immediately started to suck him, first only his cockhead, but I felt the
need to have more and more of it in my mouth. I was nearly able to have all
if him in my mouth when I felt the gagging reflex. I immediately took my
mouth off his dick. I looked up at his face and his head was turned
upwards. I took him into my mouth again and sucked him slowly. As I took
him deeper and deeper into my mouth I was able to control the gagging this
time. Then I started to vigorously suck him. When I felt his dick starting
to twitch I increased speed even more.

"I'm gonna cum!" he warned loudly.

I decided to swallow his cum as he did to me that afternoon. I could feel
the spurts of cum hit the back of my throat and swallowed every drop. The
taste was amazing. Slightly sweet and slightly salty.

"Wow!" he said and sat down on the edge of the bath, his dick still in my
mouth. I milked the last of his cum out and licked it off his cock
head. Then I looked up at him with a satisfied smile on my face. I stood up
and kissed him passionately. I have never been as horny in my life as I was
at that moment.

"Wow!" he said again when our mouths parted. "You wanted this badly, didn't
you? Slow out the starting blocks, but gosh... That was amazing!"

"Good. Now suck me..." I urged him "fuck I'm horny now."

He got down onto his knees and took my dick in his mouth. As soon as he
started to suck I thrust my hips forward to get more of it into his
mouth. Then I grabbed him by his hair and held his head still while I face
fucked him. I could feel my cock banging the back of his throat with every
forward thrust. In no time I felt my balls contract and I powerfully shot
my load in his mouth. My legs buckled beneath me and I sank to the floor
next to him.

"That was rough." Ben laughed.

"Sorry," I apologized "It wasn't meant to be..."

"No, no, I'm not complaining." he said. "I thought that I was going to be
the one to always take the initiative... but goodness... when you take over
you mean it."

"That was great." I said.

"That was..." he agreed.

We got up off the floor and into the tub. I sat behind him and he lay with
his head on my chest in front of me. For the first time it was me holding
Ben and I enjoyed the feeling of being the one that caressed him for a
change. At that moment I knew that no matter what the future held, I love
this guy and I made up my mind that I would never leave him.

We sat in silence for a long time, soaking in the hot water and enjoying
our closeness. When the water started to cool down, we decided it was time
to clean ourselves. We first washed each other's hair, and then we stood up
in the bath and soaped one another from head to toe, at the same time we
caressed each other and explored our bodies. Then we sat down again and
rinsed each other. We got out of the bath and dried each other. Despite all
the touching, not one of us got hard again.

We got dressed for the club. I was surprised at how much clothes Ben had
when I saw his wardrobe open for the first time. He chose a white linen
suit, a black satin shirt and black platform shoes.

"I suppose hustling is a lucrative past time." I said.

"Why?" Ben wanted to know with a puzzled expression on his face.

"Well, as far as I can make out, you are not poor." I explained
myself. "Your decor and your clothes... the flat... the art."

"It is the same as with anything else in life. You get out what you put
in." he said matter of factly.

"OK." I contemplated his answer. "Then you must put in a lot."

"I cultivated a loyal customer base. It is like any other business. If you
give the clients quality service they will remain loyal" he explained.

"I see," I said "you approach it like the dry cleaner on the corner would,
as you said earlier. Pure business."

"That's it. Pure business." he said.

Ben went over to Bernie's room and knocked on the door. "Bernie," he called
"are you going to Big D? We're going to Europa."

I listened as the door opened and Bernie said; "Yes, Jakes should be here
any minute."

"You look good tonight, Bernice." Ben said. "Come and show Fred."

They came into Ben's room. Bernie stood in front of me with his hands on
his hips and then made a three sixty turn.

I could not believe my eyes. He had transformed into a woman, with long
hair, breasts and hips. He was wearing a figure hugging black midi dress,
black stockings, eight inch platform shoes, huge ear rings, a chocker
necklace and a ring on nearly every finger. The make-up was heavy, but
meticulously done. He had red lips and cheeks and long eye lashes. Bernie
was a slightly podgy guy, but Bernice was a buxom lady. There was even a
hint of a cleavage.

"If I did not know it was you, I would never have guessed." I said
disbelievingly.

"Thanks. Your compliment makes the hours spent to achieve this worthwhile."
He ran his hands down his body as he said it, and even his voice sounded
like a woman's.

Ben looked at him proudly. "You're gonna turn heads tonight, my girl. The
other girls must watch out, this year you are going to be Miss Big D." he
complimented Bernie.

"You guys are so nice." Bernie said and fluttered his long eye lashes at
us. "And the two of you look sexy too. I must go, I think Jakes is waiting
already." he said and left in a hurry.

Ben smiled at me and softly said. "My world... welcome to my world."

"Sure is full of surprises... your world." I chuckled.

Ben rummaged through on of the drawers of the dressing table and retrieved
a small bottle of pills. "Have you decided if you are going to have one?"
he asked and held the bottle for me to see.

"What is it?" I asked, still not sure.

"Ephedrine." he said. "It will perk you up a bit."

"Will it... make me lose control of myself? I... I do not..." I tried to
voice my apprehension.

"Not at all." he interrupted. "It will just give you some extra energy,
that's all."

"OK, I trust you." I decided.

He gave me one and took one for himself. Ben locked his room and we went to
the kitchen and washed the pills down with some water. He checked on the
two boys who were sound asleep on one of the bunk beds. Then he looked if
there were keys for the boys, to unlock the door, should anything
happen. After he locked up the flat, we left for the club.

Club Europa was just three and a half blocks up Claim Street from the flat
and we were there in no time. We entered a door where two burly bouncers
kept watch. Ben greeted them and we walked up a flight of stairs to the
first floor. I could hear the music grow louder as we ascended the
steps. At the top of the stairs, we entered the lobby of the club. There
were more bouncers. Ben greeted them as well, and one of them stamped his
hand. Ben told him that I was with him, and the guy stamped my hand as
well.

Ben took my hand and we walked up a dark inclined passage. The music became
louder and louder and after a left turn, we entered the club. To our left
was a dimly lit bar down the whole length of the club. The dance floor was
a pit three steps below the floor level and about twenty five feet
square. On the opposite two sides were tables and built-in seating along
the walls. The DJ was to our right, his booth jutting out of the wall about
six feet from the floor. The music was thumping and different coloured
lights lit up to the beat of the music. The place was packed with people
dancing and milling about.

Ben turned to me and pulled me closer to him and shouted in my ear. "So,
what do you think?"

"Awesome!" I shouted back. "The place makes my hair stand on end."

"It's the ephedrine." he laughed. "It's starting to work now."

"Nice feeling." I let him know.

He led me to the bar and ordered two beers. Someone grabbed him and said
something in his ear. He shook his head from side to side and said
something the other guy's ear, and gestured to me with a big smile. The guy
waved at me and I waved back.

Ben turned to me once he had the beers and shouted in my ear; "Let's go
dance."

"I can't." I shouted back. "I'm going to make an ass of myself."

"Don't worry..." he said "Nobody is going to look at you. Just follow my
lead."

Before I could protest any more, he led me down the steps onto the dance
floor. I could feel the beat coming through the dance floor as soon as I
stepped on it. Ben immediately started dancing, gyrating his hips and
throwing his free hand in the air. I stood around, not knowing what to
do. Then he danced closer to me, his body touching mine, while he looked
deep into my eyes. He took my arm and put it around his middle and put his
arm around mine. I started to move my body, following his movements. He
winked his approval to me.

We danced like that until long after we had finished our beers. I enjoyed
being so close to him all the time. Then he turned and pulled me behind him
off the dance floor to one of the tables. We put the empty beer bottles
down and he led me through the crowd. Twice he stopped as people shouted
something in his ear and he would gesture towards me as introduction.

We entered a passage next to the DJ booth. We went past the toilets and
around a corner and entered another bar. It was much quieter. The music
from the dance area that could still be heard, but it was such that
conversation was possible without having to resort to shouting.

"The cruising bar." Ben let me know.

We went over to the bar counter and he ordered another two beers.

"Hi Honeys." someone said behind us. I looked around and there was a woman
standing in a long gold dress.

"Hi Brenda." Ben greeted and I faintly recognized the man from the clothing
shop. "You look stunning tonight." Ben complimented him.

"Thanks Honey, I try my best." Brenda said graciously. "There must be a few
disappointed queers here tonight. I gather you are on a date and not
working?" he asked.

"Correct." Ben said. "They'll get over it. Can I buy you a drink?" he asked
Brenda.

"Gin and tonic, thanks Honey." Brenda accepted. "What's the occasion? You
are not usually this generous." he added.

"Neither are you." Ben smiled. "That was a nice discount today. Thanks."

"Well, honey, the twinkle in your eyes got me this morning. Always nice to
see someone in love. I couldn't resist." Brenda said and smiled at both of
us.

We took our drinks and went and sat at a table. Ben and Brenda exchanged
some gossip about people they knew. Whenever a new name came up, Ben would
tell me a little more about the person, to make me not feel left out of
their conversation.

All the while I became more aware of the effects of the drug on me. Apart
from the crawling sensation on my scalp, I felt a heightened awareness of
my senses. It was as if my hearing, taste and smell were sharper. I also
felt fidgety and more energetic than I ever felt before. Apart from those,
I could not detect any adverse effect of the drug.

After our drinks were finished, Ben wanted to go dancing again. I
complained that I was no good at it, but he assured me that he could detect
that I had the rhythm to be a good dancer, and that I should just continue
to follow his lead. He took my hand, and when I was on my feet, he pulled
me close to him and danced with me, teaching me right there in the bar
where we could hear one another. He said that we should stay close together
in order for me to feel his body movements and just try and replicate it,
as we did earlier on the dance floor. After a while I started to get the
hang of it and felt more confident.

Ben decided to buy us more drinks at the bar as it would be less crowded
than the one in the club. I went and sat down with Brenda while he got the
drinks. I was barely seated when a tall man with a bald head came and sat
with us at the table. I tried to figure out what his age might be, but
found it difficult. His face looked young, but the baldness made him look
older than his face suggested.

"Hi Brenda." he greeted. "You look ravishing as usual."

"Hi, Honey, Thanks." said Brenda and introduced us. "Fred, meet Edward."

"Hi." I extended my hand towards him.

"Hi." He greeted back. "Never seen you here before." he said while still
holding my hand.

"Fred's new to the posse." Brenda informed him. Then added in my direction;
"Edward is a very clever law student, Honey."

I became aware of the fact that the man was still holding my hand and I
slowly withdrew it from his grip.

Brenda noticed the interaction. "I'm afraid this boy is taken, Honey." he
said and winked at Edward.

"Sorry Brenda." Edward said. "Don't tell me you're the cradle snatcher?"

"No... I should be so lucky, Honey." Brenda laughed.

Ben came back from the bar with two beers and a gin and tonic. "Hi Edward,"
he greeted as he put the drinks on the table. "I haven't seen you here. Can
I get you something?"

"Hi Benny, no thank you. I'll get something later. How are you doing?"
Edward asked

"Excellent!" Ben answered with a smile and sat down.

"You very busy tonight?" Edward enquired.

I noticed Brenda moving uneasily on his chair. He watched them from
underneath his long eye lashes as he sipped on his drink.

"Actually, I'm retired." Ben said.

Brenda's eyes widened when he heard Ben's words.

"Retired... as in?" Edward asked.

"Retired, as in having to find a real job." Ben said and took my
hand. "Meet my boyfriend. Fred."

"Oh... Brenda introduced us..." Edward stumbled over his words, and then
recovered. "So you're the lucky guy?" he said to Ben and looked at me.

"Sure am." Ben smiled at him.

"You serious, Honey... retired?" Brenda asked disbelievingly.

"Sure am." Ben said again and I got the impression he was enjoying their
reactions. He gave my hand a squeeze and kissed me on the cheek. Then he
added. "I'm a one man man now."

I was elated when he said that.

"I have to be honest..." Edward said "I am a bit disappointed... for myself
that is, but I am very glad for you that you made this decision, Benny."

"Me too, Honey. I always worry so much about you boys." Brenda said and
patted our hands.  "This boy must have made quite an impression on you."

"He did." Ben said as he looked deep into my eyes and landed a kiss on my
mouth.

"Thanks." I said softly.

"For you, anything, Babe." He whispered back. Then he spoke to Edward
again. "I can introduce you to someone, if you want?"

"I... I don't know..." Edward hesitated.

"Don't worry, he'll be discreet." Ben said.

"Champagne's on me, Honeys. We have to celebrate!" Brenda offered
excitedly. "Come help me." he ordered Edward, and winked in our
direction. "I think Benny just sprang a surprise on his boyfriend. Let them
talk a bit."

They went over to the bar.

"Ben... thanks... but... how will you survive?" I asked.

"You do not worry about that. I have options." he put me at ease. "I know,"
he continued "that even if you did not say so, the hustling bothered you."

"It does... did... but... I love you so much, I was willing to compromise."
I said.

"And I love you far too much to expect that." he whispered and pulled his
chair next to mine. He put his arm around me and held me tight.

At that moment, I was happier that I have ever been. Even if I did not
doubt his feelings for me, the fact that he was willing to change his
lifestyle for me, confirmed everything I knew. Things happened so quickly
over the last few days, but I knew that, no matter what the future had
installed for me, Ben was going to be an integral part of it.

Brenda and Edward came back from the bar with four glasses of
champagne. They sat down.

"To love, life and happiness!" Brenda toasted us.

"Ditto." said Edward.

"I'm thinking of going back to school, Edward." Ben sprang his next
surprise. "I'll come and see you during the week. I am sure there might be
some legal obstacles... you know... with my mother being..."

"I am sure we can work something out." Edward said.

"You thinking of art school, Honey?" Brenda asked. "Or you can always go to
college." he suggested.

"Yes, I thought about art school, Brenda." Ben answered. "But I really only
decided today, therefore I haven't had time to think everything through
properly. I suppose college is an option."

"You an artist?" I asked surprised. "All those things on the walls in your
flat... you never did give me an answer when I asked who the artist was"

"Not just any artist, Honey." Brenda gushed. "Very talented..."

"Great at portraits." Edward added.

"Come on you guys..." Ben said shyly.

"But it's true, Honey!" Brenda let him know.

"I do not know much about art," I said "but I could see the talent."

"You come around during the week, Benny. I will gladly help you." Edward
offered again.

After we finished the champagne, Ben and I left the other two and went
dancing. We spent the next few hours dancing the night away. We held onto
one another most of the time, and hardly spoke, we just enjoyed the music
and each other. Although we had a lot of beer during the course of the
night, the alcohol did not really affect me much, and when I made the
observation to Ben, he explained that it was the ephedrine that stopped me
from getting too drunk.

It seemed that Ben knew almost everybody there. People would constantly
come around to greet him and every time he would introduce me. Every now
and then I detected a hint of disappointment on some of the people's faces,
and I knew that they had just been rejected by him. A few times, when one
of his favourite tunes was being played, he would break away from me and
dance loose from me. He was an excellent dancer and once even got an
ovation from the crowd around us.

When we left the club, dawn had already broken over the city. As we walked
hand in hand back to the flat, I listened to the early morning
noises. Everything seemed exceptionally quiet, after the constant loud
music inside the club. The city was quietly humming. Because it was early
Sunday morning, there was not a lot of traffic, and the sounds of the
occasional vehicle came rolling towards us from several blocks away. I was
still wide awake.

On the way it dawned on me that I forgot to let my Mom know, as I had
planned to do, about me supposedly sleeping over at a friend in
town. Although I was sure that she would have gathered that that was the
rason why I did not come home, she would still be worried, as I did not
usually stay over without phoning first. I told Ben that I only had time to
change into the clothes I wore the day before and then I had to leave. He
understood my predicament and after I had changed, he walked with me to the
station.

On the way, we discussed his plans for his future. He was exited about
everything and filled me in on some of the things he thought he might
do. When we reached the station we agreed that I would do my best to see
him during the week.

There were no trains to West Areas for several hours. The man behind the
ticket counter suggested that I wait a few minutes, as there was someone
working for the railways, who took a mainline train there every Sunday
morning. The train was not supposed to, but made an unscheduled stop for
the guy. When the guy came he agreed that he will speak to the conductor to
let me take the train as well.

Ben and I said our goodbyes discreetly and a hectic nearly twenty four
hours came to an end.