Date: Fri, 19 Oct 2012 14:23:30 +0200
From: Fred Harris <feintrainsmell@gmail.com>
Subject: The feint smell of rain Chapter 8

This is the true story of a chance meeting, and the events that followed
it, that had a profound impact on my life.

I have changed the names of the people involved, but all places are the
actual places where the events took place. It is set in South Africa during
the 1970's, a very conservative and turbulent place at the time.

The story contains scenes with drug use by, and sex between, underage
boys. These scenes are there merely to tell what actually happened, and are
only included where it is deemed to be necessary, to know the circumstances
under which it took place and to advance the story line.  If it is illegal
in your territory to read this, or if you object to any of the above on any
other grounds, do not continue.

It is a poignant tale of love, discovery, triumph and tragedy experienced
by two teenage boys.

The Feint Smell of Rain

Chapter 8

We left Europa when the sun was out and the workers that started early were
already making their way to their workplaces. When we arrived at the flat
we made a joint in the bathroom and then went to bed, just as Bernie's
alarm went off.

My mouth was dry and my kidneys ached. "I feel horrible." I remarked to Ben
as I slid naked into bed next to Ben.

"It is the bring down from the Purple Hearts." he said. "It does that, but
you'll feel fine once you slept it off." He lifted the sheet off him. "Look
at my dick." he said and tugged on his shriveled cock.

I looked at it and then lifted the sheet and looked at my own. Our dicks
were smaller than usual in its un-aroused state and mine felt slightly numb
when I touched it. "Strange..." I said.

"Makes for a good long blow job if you can get it up now, but your balls
will ache terribly once you cum." he informed me while he squeezed my dick
in his hand.

"Nah, I do not feel like any sex now." I said. "I feel too up to shit."

"Me too." He said and cuddled up to me. "But it is nice to have you here."

"I love you so much." I said and turned towards him and held him
tightly. "I wish I could always lie next to you like this."

"I love you too. Thanks for giving my life purpose." Ben said softly.

We drifted off to sleep while we held onto one another.

I woke up with Alinah's voice drifting towards me from a distance. "You
boys must get up! The food is ready, and I want to clean the room before I
go!"

The smell of curry permeated the air in the room and I felt very hungry all
of a sudden.

Ben stirred next to me. "Coming Mama!" he shouted half asleep.

As we got out of bed I immediately analyzed the way I felt. Apart from the
fact that I still had a dry mouth, I felt much better than I what I did
when I went to sleep. I looked down at my dick and then to Ben's. Things
seemed to be back to normal down there as were both had healthy
erections. We put on some shorts and headed out to the bathroom to have a
pee and brush our teeth.

Our food was ready for us on the coffee table in the lounge when we were
finished in the bathroom.

"Tsk, sleeping the whole day like that." Alinah said to herself as we sat
down to eat. She made a mutton curry stew and rice. I tucked in
immediately.

"I start work tonight, Mama." Ben said as Alinah headed to the room to
clean up.

"Where?" she asked from the room.

"New place near Fontana." Ben answered loudly.

"Waiter?" Alinah asked.

"No, Mama." Ben called. "I am going to draw people there."

Alinah came back into the lounge with her broom and duster. "Now what a job
is that?" she asked Ben. "You get paid for that?"

"Yes, Mama. I should have told you already. I am going to sell my work
there as well. And your face is going to hang there too."

"You are going to sell me?" Alinah asked apprehensively.

"I told you I would never sell that drawing, Mama." Ben put her at
ease. "But it will show people what I am capable of. The owner of the place
loves it."

"OK... So you are going to sit and draw people's faces... and you get
paid?" Alinah asked confused.

"That's it, Mama." Ben said.

"Auh. What do you do with all the drawings?"

"The person who I draw keeps the drawing and pays me for it, Mama." Ben
laughed.

"Oh, I understand then." Alinah said and went back to the room.

"That was difficult to explain." I said and smiled at the interaction
between Ben and Alinah.

"I think she just likes to be stubborn sometimes." Ben said under his
breath.

"You exited?" I asked.

"I am... there are some butterflies too." Ben answered.

"I am sure you are going to be a hit." I encouraged him.

"What are you going to do tonight?" Ben wanted to know.

"I don't know. It is a long time to sit there and wait for you. If you
weren't going to be busy it would be fine... we could talk... but..." I
said while I thought about the prospect of spending the night without Ben
at my side.

"You'll walk there with me?" he asked.

"Of course, and I will spend time until you get busy." I let him know.

While we were eating, Bernie came in with a long clothing bag draped over
his forearm. "Ooh, smells nice in here... Mama made curry." he said as he
walked past to his room.

"You got a new dress?" Ben called after him. "Come show us."

Bernie came back into the lounge and unzipped the zipper of the clothing
bag and proudly opened it up for us to see. It was a shiny long red dress
with a sequined pattern on the bustier.

"Mmm, my favourite colour." Ben remarked.

"That's very nice." I said.

"I am going to sing Sandy Shaw tonight." Bernie said as he closed the dress
in the bag and set off for the bedroom again. "I am going to win this one."

"That time of the year again. Time sure flies if you're having fun." Ben
said. "There is an annual singing competition for the drag queens at The
Dungeon." he informed me. "Not actually singing, more miming to the
songs. Bernice has been runner up for the last two competitions. She is
good. Brenda has won many times."

"Really... Bernie and Brenda?" I could not imagine that the guys that I got
to know over the last week could actually put on a drag show. I have seen
them dressed as a women and I could detect that they seemed to be a
different people then.

"And they are really good at it. Bernie is new at the game, but Brenda is a
showgirl to be reckoned with." Ben laughed. "My world..."

"I'd like to see that... their performances" I said.

"Then go with Bernie tonight to Big D." Ben suggested.

"I... I don't know..." I thought about it and felt that I was not
comfortable enough in his company to go out with him.

"You'll enjoy it... and there will be other people as well. You do not have
to keep Bernie company the whole night." Ben urged, as if he could read my
thoughts again. "I'll speak to Bernie."

We finished our food and took the plates to the kitchen for Alinah to wash
before she left, and then Ben decided it was time to smoke some weed. He
collected his red box from the room and we went and sat in the bathroom.

"I think we'll have a bong." he said as he cleaned the weed on the folded
newspaper. "About time you experience another buzz."

"What is a bong?" I asked.

"A water pipe... you suck the smoke through water." he explained. "There it
is on the window sill." He pointed to a shampoo bottle that I have noticed
before, with a thinish metal pipe sticking out from the one side.

I took it and examined it. The pipe had a small socket from a tool set
pushed into the end and the other end was pushed into the bottle and sealed
with what looked like hard chewing gum. About two inches above where it
protruded from the bottle was a little hole.

When the weed was ready, he took the bong from me and rinsed it out under
the tap before he filled it about one third with water. Then he checked
that the socket was clean and filled it with weed that he pressed down
gently inside and pushed it back onto the top of the metal pipe.

"The secret" he explained "is to finish all the weed with one hit." He went
on to show me how I should suck at the mouth of the bottle, while I at the
same time keep my finger over the little hole above where the pipe comes
out of the bottle. "When you feel your lungs are nearly full, release your
finger from the hole, to suck up the smoke in the bottle. And don't suck to
hard or you'll get the water in your mouth."

He gave the bong to me and I practiced without the pipe being lit. Then he
lit the pipe while I sucked at the bottle. The smoke was cool as it entered
my lungs. and when I felt myself nearly not being able to suck any more, I
released my finger as he explained.

"Good," Ben said as I blew the smoke into the air. "you got the hang of
it."

After Ben filled up the socket again, I lit the weed for him. We both had
two more hits after that. Then he poured the greenish brown water out of
the bottle and cleaned the socket with a wire from his red box, before he
put it back on its place on the window sill.

I could feel the different buzz he spoke about. Where the feeling the joint
gave you would creep into your senses gradually, the bong hit you more
rapidly, and although I experienced the same mellowness as I did before, it
seemed to be more intense after the bong.

Back in the bedroom, Ben suggested we listen to some music. "Let me play
you my all time favourite songs." he said as he opened the wardrobe with
the music. "You know Led Zeppelin?"

"I heard of them... but I cannot think of anything that I know." I
answered.

"Here... listen to this." Ben said and put a record on the
turntable. "Stairway to Heaven, my absolute favourite favourite."

I listened to the soft and mellow start. "I thought..." I started to say
and Ben held up his hand to silence me.

"Listen." he said with closed eyes.

I wanted to mention to him that I thought that he only listened to heavier
rock music, but after listening in silence to the whole song I realized
that it was exactly that.

When the track finished Ben got up to change the record. "You like? I
love..." he asked and said in the same short sentence.

"Wow, that was powerful." I said. And I did like it a lot.

"Skynard... Free Bird." he said as he put the arm of the record player down
onto the next record. "Listen." He sang together with the first few lines
of the lyrics. "If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me?"
Then he sat back in his chair with closed eyes and listened to the song.

The song followed much the same pattern as the one he played before. Quiet
in the beginning and then building to a powerful heavy rock crescendo.

After that he played the next song. Lord of the ages by Magna Carta. Also
in the same vein as the two songs that preceded it. Soft start and heavy
ending. I liked them all, even though I was not usually into rock music.

"That was nice." I said. "Only three songs and it lasted... what... thirty
minutes?"

"There... now you know what music I love." Ben said while he put the last
record back in its sleeve and slid it in at its place amongst the other
records. He came over to where I sat on the chair and kissed me on the neck
under my ear. "And I love you too." he whispered. "Let's go have a looong
sexy bath."

We kicked off our shorts and headed to the bathroom in our underwear. While
we ran the water for our bath, we stood and kissed passionately. As we made
out we explored one another's upper bodies with our hands. When the hot
water was sufficient, Ben sat on the side of the bath and closed the tap
and ran the cold water while he every now and then tested the
temperature. I continued to rub his chest from behind and nibbled on his
ear.

When he was happy with the temperature, we got into the bath and I sat down
in front of him, between his legs, and leaned with my back against his
chest. He put his arms around me and we sat in silence for a long time and
enjoyed the soothing hot water.

While we lay in the water I felt content. Just to be close to Ben was what
I wanted and were happy with. The sex was great and I enjoyed it
tremendously, but I realized for the first time in my life that sex and
love were different sides of the same coin. Sure, the sex was a great part
of our relationship, but experiencing the closeness I had with Ben, was for
me just as important, if not more. I realized there in the bath for the
first time what love actually was all about.

Later, I walked with Ben to Pigalle. There was still a soft drizzle
falling. We held hands and disregarded the glances of disapproval cast in
our direction. At one stage someone shouted "Queers!" from a passing
car. In response, Ben embraced me and gave me a kiss on the lips. We
giggled like girls at our brash response to the taunt.

When we arrived at Cafè Pigalle it was seven thirty. Ben was supposed to
start at eight. We found Dimitri in the kitchen.

"Hi, boys!" he called out to us when he saw us. "You are early."

"My first night..." Ben said "I did not want to be late."

Dimitri gave some instructions in the kitchen and walked over to us. "Let's
go to the office."

When we were seated, he told Ben "OK, you can start with me tonight. I have
a wall where I want to hang the drawings of the staff. I also have this
girl that will be playing the classical guitar here for the next few
nights. I would like you to make a drawing of her while she plays
tonight. I want to put it outside so that people can see what the
entertainment is...you know... like a poster, with her name and the dates
on it as well."

"No problem." Ben said.

"And then, every time I get a new musician, I will let you know and the
first night you must be here to draw that person and make the
poster... even if it is during the week. That fine with you? Dimitri asked.

"No problem." Ben said again.

"It will take a while for the customers to realize what you are doing
here. As I said, I want no hard sell, but I am sure you will get lots of
work once they have seen what you can do." Dimitri continued.

"Sure..." Ben acknowledged.

"I see the rain is letting up. I think I will go to your place on Monday to
collect your work, but I will let you know over the weekend. I do not want
things to go stale. I will exhibit your work for six weeks and then another
artist after that. I think I explained that to you."

"Yes, I understand." Ben said. "I am grateful for the exposure. Six weeks
is fine."

"I see you brought a sketchbook and pencils." Dimitri said. "There in the
corner is more. I did not know if it was the right stuff. You must
check. They said I can change it if need be. And there is a board... if you
need a hard surface."

Ben went over and looked at what Dimitri bought. "This is fine." he
said. "Thanks."

"You boys gay?" Dimitri asked me out of the blue.

"Ben's my boyfriend." I answered.

"I gathered as much... the way you look at him..." Dimitri said.

"Is it that obvious?" I asked and looked at Ben.

"Pretty much." Dimitri answered.

"Don't worry, I just walked here with Ben." I explained. "I am going soon."

"You can stay too, I have no problem with that."

"Thanks, but we think that it would be inappropriate if I stay while Ben
has to work." I said. "I will be looking in on him during the
night... sometimes... seeing that you are fine with me being here."

"You're welcome." Dimitri said as he got up from behind the table. "You do
your thing, Ben. If you want something to drink or eat, just ask one of the
waiters. On the house. You too... when you visit." he said to me. "Now I
must get back to the kitchen."

Ben and I thanked him. "I will shadow you a bit before I draw." Ben
added. "Once I have the picture in my mind of what I want to do, I will put
it on paper."

"Whatever works best for you." Dimitri said.

Ben and I ordered coffee, that we paid for, and went and sat close to the
stage area at the back of Pigalle. The ambience of the pace was really
special. The chairs were comfortable and the soft music that played over
speakers hidden somewhere were unobtrusive.

The acoustics were such that we could have a normal conversation without
fear of our every word being listened to at the area next to us. The sound
seemed to be trapped in the area where we sat. We knew that, because
although we could hear the couple next to us talk, we could not hear what
they spoke about. We decided that Cafè Pigalle was special and that we
liked the place a lot. Ben was proud to be associated with it.

Just after eight I decided to leave. Ben walked with me to the stairs that
led down to the ground floor. We hugged and he went back to start work and
I set out towards the flat and a night out with Bernie at The Dungeon.

At the flat I got dressed for the disco. Just before ten Bernie came into
the lounge where I sat and waited. He had the red dress on that he showed
us that afternoon. Again I found it hard to believe that it was the same
chubby, non-descript, short guy that stood there in front of me.

"You look good, Bernie." I complimented him.

"Bernice now, please." he corrected me.

"Sorry, Bernice." I apologized.

"Look, Fred..." he said as he sat down ladylike on the front of the chair
opposite me. "I know we got off on the wrong foot the other day, and I am
sorry about it. I know that you are not very comfortable in my presence, I
can see that."

"I.. I don't want to... you know... worm myself into your..." I stumbled.

"It is difficult for both of us." Bernie interrupted me. "We are both in
love with the same guy. There is no point in me denying that, but I realize
that I stand no chance. He loves you and I respect that decision. It is
still difficult... but for Benny's sake I want us to be friends."

"I'd love that, but I... you know, I do not think that we have a lot in
common." I stated my honest opinion. "I do not dislike you... it's just..."

"I know." Bernie said. "It is difficult for me too."

"I think we are on the same wavelength, Bernice." I started more
confident. "We both know that we will never really be friends as such. But
we are stuck in this together and we are going to have to make the best of
it. I am willing to try my best." I said just as a familiar Volkswagen horn
sounded in the street below.

"Thanks, Fred, so am I. That's Jakes hooting." Bernie said and gathered his
things. "Will you lock the door, please." he asked me. While I locked the
door he added. "I am glad we had this conversation."

"Me too. It was needed." I said as I handed him the key.

Once down in the street below, Bernie got into the back of the waiting
Kombi with difficulty. I followed him and slid the large door closed.

Jakes and Tony greeted us and complimented Bernie on his looks. On the way
to the club they excitedly gossiped about the other contestants and what
they thought they were going to be wearing and what their prospects in the
competition were.

Jakes found a parking near an old castle like building in the city
centre. I got out of the Kombi and held out my hand to Bernie to help him
get out with his high heels and assorted baggage. He accepted graciously
and handed me some of his things to carry. I could see him adjust into
Bernice mode as we walked towards a stairway that led down to the basement
of the building. As we reached the basement, I immediately saw why the
place was called the dungeon. The walls were of raw stone and it resembled
it's name.

I was surprised to hear sakkie-sakkie (traditional Afrikaans dance music)
as we entered the main area. Bernie gestured for me to follow him and went
towards the back of the club. We entered a large room that was obviously
used as the dressing room for the night's competition. It was packed with
drag queens who were fixing their make-up or adjusted their dresses. Some
cheerfully greeted Bernie while others just looked or totally ignored
him. I noticed Brenda in front of a mirror in the one corner and Bernie
headed towards him.

"Hi, Honey." Brenda greeted him. "You ready for the night?"

"Tonight you lose, my dear!" Bernie said with a smile. "You can put the
things down here, Fred." Bernie said to me. "Thanks for helping."

"Hi, Honey." Brenda greeted me. "Nice to see you here. You supporting the
trannies tonight?" he laughed.

"Hi, Brenda." I greeted back. "Ben insisted."

"I'll miss him tonight, hey Bernice? Benny has always been our biggest
fan." Brenda said.

"I'll try my best to fill his shoes." I said. "You girls both look stunning
tonight. But I am not taking any sides, OK?"

"Thanks, Honey." Brenda said and then leaned towards Bernie. "The boy is
glib with his compliments... or what am I saying, Bernice?"

"I see..." Bernie answered with a wink. "he learns quickly."

"I am going to leave you ladies to titivate." I continued to play their
game. "I am going to get a drink at the bar."

"Edward and Marcus is in there somewhere, Honey." Brenda informed me. "I
dragged them with tonight."

"Thanks, Brenda." I will keep an eye out for them."

As I left the dressing room I was glad that Edward and Marcus were there as
well. The only other people I knew there, apart from Bernie and Brenda,
were Jakes and Tony, and I did not really know them well. As I entered the
main area I looked around to see if I could see Edward or Marcus
anywhere. The place was packed and it was difficult to make out much in the
available light.

I headed towards the bar and tried to get the attention of a barman to
order a beer. Someone tapped me on the shoulder. I looked around and Marcus
was standing behind me with a big smile.

"Hi..." I greeted him "I was looking for you guys."

"We are sitting in the corner there." Marcus said and showed me the
table. "You coming to sit with us?"

"Yes. Thanks." I said. "I just want to get something to drink. Can I get
you guys anything?"

"We're still fine. See you now." Marcus said and left for the table.

Once I had a beer I walked over to the table where the other guys
were. Jakes and Tony were also sitting at the same table.

"Hi, Fred." Edward greeted. He sat with his arm around Marcus' shoulders. I
sat down opposite Jakes and Tony.

"Hi, Edward." I greeted back. "How are you guys doing?" I asked.

"As you can see... Happy and in love." Edward chuckled and kissed Marcus on
the cheek.

"I am glad to see that Ben's plan worked." I said.

"He did us a great favor." Marcus said with a huge smile. "I do not think
we would have met otherwise, not now anyway."

"Benny is a great guy." Jakes remarked. "Despite the circumstances he grew
up in. And now that he stopped hustling..."

"That was the best news I have heard in a long time." Edward said.

"Bernie was over the moon about it." Jakes added. "He felt so bad about the
way he reacted towards you though, Fred."

"We sorted it out." I said. "We had a talk just before you picked us up. It
was needed."

"I think he at last realized that he stands no chance ever with Benny."
said Tony.

"I suppose love does not come with an on-off switch." Edward said
pensively.

"So, where did you meet Benny?" Jakes asked me.

"He hustled me" I laughed "and I was too stupid to catch on. I suppose it
was a good thing... I do not think he would have been interested if... if
we did have that quick fuck in the toilet."

"Bernie says you are still at school." Jakes pried further.

"I am. I am fifteen." I said, knowing what the reaction would be.

"Really? I thought you were older!" Marcus exclaimed.

"I get that a lot." I laughed.

For the next few minutes I was peppered with questions about myself. I
answered them all truthfully.

The music stopped and the compère started the proceedings for the
night. An assorted line up of drag queens strut their stuff on the small
stage. Some were good, others mediocre and a few downright bad. The crowd
enjoyed it and played along honestly. Standing ovations for the good
performers and a boo for the really bad ones.

Then it was Bernie's turn. He was obviously a hit with the crowd as they
cheered loud and long when he was announced. He mimed to Picking up
Pebbles. He was good and mimed to the lyrics with perfection, but my
personal opinion was that he was a bit overdressed for the subject matter
of the song. I kept my opinion to myself.

Brenda was up last, being the winner of the last competition. He did
Cabaret by Liza Minnelli. He put on a passionate performance and even
though the same song was done by two others earlier, it was obvious that he
was in a different league. When he finished the song, the crowd erupted in
appreciation.

We sat around the table and discussed the performances. Everybody was in
agreement that Brenda was by far the winner. The general consensus about
Bernie was that his song choice let him down, which tied in with the
opinion I held. The results were announced. Bernie came in third. Godiva, a
really old drag queen, came in second and Brenda was the winner.

Later Brenda and Bernie joined us at our table. Bernie was very
disappointed about his third place. "I know I have a lot of work to do
before I can beat you." he said to Brenda. "But being beaten by Godiva!"

"Don't worry, Honey." Brenda comforted him. "You are still young, and you
are consistently in the first three, from your first competition. None of
us can say that."

"True," said Jakes "I think inexperience let you down tonight."

"Yes," Bernie agreed "the song was not up to scratch."

"Next year you consult with your mentor again, Honey." Brenda said with a
wink. "Marcus, won't you and Fred go and get us two bottles of champagne
and glasses for everyone." he ordered.

Marcus and I went to the bar to get the champs and glasses and sat down
again. Jakes opened the first bottle and everyone cheered when the cork
popped and flew through the air. Then he poured each of us a glass.

"On Brenda and Bernie!" Edward toasted.

We all lifted our glasses and drank to the two of them.

"To love..." Brenda said and clinked glasses with Edward and Marcus.

They thanked Brenda for the toast and gave one another a passionate kiss to
hisses and cheers from the rest of the table. Marcus was blood red when
they were finished. He took off his glasses to clean it and every one
latched on to that and teased him for being so hot that he steamed up his
glasses.

Jakes opened the second bottle of champagne to the same reaction as the
first. Once he had filled the glasses, Brenda lifted her glass. "To the two
new faces in our midst... Marcus and Fred. Welcome, Honeys, we are an odd
bunch, hope you survive." he chuckled as he clinked glasses with us.

"Odd maybe... but never boring." I said.

"I second that!" Marcus laughed.

I started to feel more at ease. It was obvious that they accepted me fully
as a friend. Where I felt a bit like an outsider before, I started to feel
like a part of the group.

"So, Benny started work tonight, Honey." Brenda said to me. "He'll do
good. Lots of talent... that boy."

"He was a bit nervous. He did not say anything, but I could see it." I
said. "But like you say, I am sure he is doing just fine."

Brenda leaned towards me. "You be good to that boy, Honey." He said
softly. "He deserves all the happiness he can get. Life's been hard on him
thus far."

"I love him more than anything, Brenda." I said. "I never thought that
anyone could mean so much to me in such a short time. I realized earlier
today while lying in his arms in the bath what love really feels like."

"What a blessing when it works, Honey. How painful and devastating when it
doesn't." Brenda said and took a huge sip of the champagne in his glass and
I detected a sudden sadness in his eyes.

I was immediately intrigued by his statement. I was sure there was a good
story behind it, but I did not know if it would be appropriate for me to
ask. "At some stage it obviously did not work for you... maybe one day you
can tell me about it." I eventually said and left it open for Brenda to
respond or not.

"Never fall in love with a man in the closet, Honey. " he said and looked
me in the eyes. Then he continued as his eyes left mine and he looked at
his hands. "You know... one never forgets that first love. You may have
many other lovers after that... even fall in love again... over and
over... but that first love will always remain the most special."

I looked at Brenda and I could see the pain in his eyes. I sipped on the
champagne, and felt a little guilty for pushing him on his statement, even
if it was only slightly.

"It's been many years, Honey, but I still think about him on a daily
basis. Always wondering what could have been if things turned out
differently... if I never..." Brenda lifted his chin and sat up in his
chair and looked at me again. "I had to leave him, Honey, even though it
broke my heart. I just could not take being relegated to something that had
to be kept a secret... pining for the stolen time when we could be
together... always on his terms. I felt as bad in the relationship as I
felt afterwards. It took me many years of pain and tears to let go. And
then many years of more pain and more tears to get over him. I did... but
that first love..."

"I am sorry, Brenda." I apologized. "I did not want to open old wounds."

"Its fine, Honey." He put me at ease. "Enjoy what you have now. " Then he
got up off his seat and dragged me off to the dance floor behind him.

"I can't dance, Brenda!" I protested.

"Then I'll teach you, Honey." he said. "This is a waltz, the timing is one
two three... one two three... one tow three... you see." he continued as he
danced while he held my one hand and with his other hand he lifted his
dress slightly in order for me to see his feet.

I tried to imitate his movements, and after a short while I started to get
the hang of it. We danced like that until the song ended.

"You see, Honey. It was not that difficult." he said as we walked back to
the table.

"Itchy feet, Brenda?" Jakes asked as we sat down. "I never saw you dance
before."

"Love the waltz, Honey." he said to Jakes. "An old tranny like me must take
every opportunity she gets, even if it means accosting an inexperienced
youth." He laughed.

"Next waltz I will dance with you." Jakes offered. "I hope you are good,
because I am." he teased.

"Sounds good, Honey, I can't wait to show you a thing or two." Brenda
accepted Jakes' challenge.

I sat and looked at the group around the table and I was glad that Ben
succeeded in persuading me to join them. With him not there, I had no one
to hide behind. I had to bite the bullet and make the best of the night. I
thought that, just maybe, he knew that and that it was his subtle way to
help me become a part of his circle of friends.

"You missing Ben? " Marcus asked.

"I am... now. But I am having such a great time with you guys that I really
did not until a few minutes ago." I answered.

"I am also enjoying this." Marcus said. "I knew most of the guys before,
but I never actually partied with them. There is a great dynamic. I saw it
the other night at your place as well."  "Sure is..." Edward agreed. "We
are a diverse bunch, but know that we are all together in this
gay... thing. And by that I mean nothing... bad... derogatory... but I
think that it is the glue that binds us.

"And another thing that binds us are these trannies." Jakes said with a
laugh. "And I also don't mean anything bad by that, but we are all here
because one of us knew one of them."

 "I met Brenda the first time I ever set foot in here. I was fascinated. It
was as if she opened my mind, not with words, just being who she is. I knew
that day what I missed in my life." Bernie said.

"Ah, thanks Honey." Brenda fluttered his long lashes.

"And you?" I asked Jakes. "How did you end up here tonight?"

" I went to school with Bernice.  There was a time, many moons ago, when I
had a real bad crush on her. When was it... standard seven." he asked
Bernie

"I forgot about that." Bernie giggled. "I broke your heart, shame."

"And eventually we became best friends. That's how I landed up here
tonight. And years later Bernie introduced me to Tony." Jakes said and gave
Tony a kiss.

"And that's how I landed up here tonight too." Tony said.

"I met Brenda on my first night out at Europa." Edward continued. "I
thought she was the weirdest broad on the planet. Fresh from the Midlands
in the big city, I never realized she was a drag queen, until I visited her
shop a few weeks later, and the guy in the tight pants called me by my
name."

"I remember the look on your face when I told you that I was the woman from
the disco." Brenda laughed. "You could not leave the shop quick enough. How
long ago was that, Honey?" he asked Edward.

"Six years, Brenda." he answered. "And that is how I ended up here tonight,
Fred"

"Your story I know." I said to Marcus.

"Yes, you and I are here because of Bennie." he said.

After another few beers and a lot of banter around the table, I decided to
go to Pigalle and spend the rest of the night with Ben. I was shocked when
I checked the time a noticed that it was already two o'clock.

I got up to leave. "You guys must excuse me," I said "but now I miss my
boyfriend way too much. I am going to take a walk there."

"You want a lift?" Jakes offered.

"Thanks, Jakes, but it will only take me about half an hour." I
declined. "At the same time I can sober up a bit."

"Will you find your way, Honey?" Brenda asked.

"I know how to get there, thanks Brenda." I have been around in the city."
I answered.

"Fred, Marcus and I thought that we would like to invite you and Benny over
for dinner." Edward said. "As appreciation... for introducing us."

"Thanks, I am sure Ben would like that." I accepted on his behalf.

"Thursday night fine? Eight." Marcus asked.

"That should be fine. I will tell Ben. Thanks." I said.

"Why do you call him Ben, when we all call him Benny?" Tony asked. "Just
curious..."

"That's what he called himself when he introduced himself to me." I
explained. "And it stuck. I look up to him, Benny would be... just wrong."
I chuckled. "Anyway, I feel special to have a name for him that only I
use. I suppose I would have called him Angel... or Petal, if he introduced
himself as Benny."

"Convincing argument." Edward smiled.

I greeted everyone and left Big D. Outside the city was quiet. I walked
briskly in the chilly night air. The rain had stopped, but the streets
still shone brightly in the light from the reflections of the buildings and
streetlights. It was a different place at that time of night and it
appealed to my senses. The scale seemed to be different. By day the streets
resembled busy canyons and with the wet streets that night, I looked to me
like rivers in a forest of light.

There were only a few people in the streets, mostly night watchmen and the
odd vagrant here and there. While I walked I looked at the buildings and
the patterns that the lights made on the otherwise dark facades. The hustle
and bustle of a city was alluring to a small town boy like me. I always had
an affinity for Johannesburg. That night, while I walked it's empty streets
to Hillbrow, it became my second love.

						***

I saw Ben seated on a chair near the entrance inside Cafè Pigalle. He
sat stooped over a paper, hard at work on a drawing. I watched him for a
few minutes until I saw him lift his head and look around. Then I walked
over to him.

When he saw me he put the board with the drawing down on the coffee table
in front of him and jumped out of his chair. "I missed you." he said as he
hugged me tightly.

"I missed you too.". I sat down on the chair next to the one he been
sitting on and leaned over to look at the drawing. "This must be the
woman... the musician?" I asked. The drawing showed the face of a beautiful
young woman with long hair, looking down, as if in deep thought. The detail
in the composition was intricate, down to individual strands of being hair
out of place. "Is it finished?"

"I still have to draw a few more details, but I am nearly there." Ben
answered. "Jenna, what a beauty. And very talented. She is a music student,
and a very nice person."

"If she looks anything like this drawing, she must be beautiful." I said.

"Of course she does." Ben said defensively.

"That's not what I meant." I laughed.

"Better not be." Ben smiled. "I hope it does her justice."

"She still here?" I asked.

"No, she played until two, but I think Dimitri should let them play until
later. Once the people leave the discos, a lot of them come here to
unwind."

I looked around. Ben was right, there were a fair amount of people present.

"Who won." Ben wanted to know.

"Brenda, and Bernie came third." I answered.

"He must be disappointed." Ben said and stopped a waiter that went past. He
ordered coffee for us.

"He was, but he handled it well." I said.

"Did you enjoy it?"

"I am glad I went. I had a great time. Your friends are nice." I told Ben
everything about the night out and how I felt that it was good for me to
have been there without him.

"Yes, they are nice people... like family to me." Ben said. "I thought that
it would be good for them to get to know you better, without me there. I
knew that they would like you if they get to know you better."

"What time do you leave." I asked.

"I need to finish this drawing, and then I must do the lettering." He
explained. "Maybe another hour."

"Did you draw Dimitri?" I wanted to know.

"Its in his office. But he locked it when he went." Ben said.

I decided to let him work without interference when the coffee arrived. I
drank mine and sat back and looked at him sketching. His long fingers and
beautiful hands danced over the page as he worked. I wondered how he
remembered the small details that he drew. I felt proud to be his boyfriend
and hoped that he could one day be as proud of me as I was of him.

Something tickled my nostrils. I realized that I fell asleep and opened my
eyes. Ben's face was in front of mine with his wide smile and white
teeth. I felt the tickle in my nostril again and shook my head from side to
side and rubbed my nose. He held up a twisted piece of paper.

"You awake now, sleepyhead?" he asked.

"Sorry." was all I could get out as I woke up from my slumber.

"I ordered us some brecky." he said. "I am famished."

"Yeah, I am hungry too. But I need to wash my face." I said.

"I get you at the table, the food is ready." Ben let me know.

As I walked to the bathroom I looked at the time. It was six thirty. I had
a pee, washed my face and straightened my hair as best I could. When I got
to the table where Ben was waiting for me, the food was there
already. There was fruit salad, yoghurt, sunny side up eggs, bacon, pork
sausages, toast, croissants, coffee and orange juice.

"I sat down. "Wow, you are hungry!" I said.

"I told the chef we would have breakfast before we leave and he told me not
to worry, he will see to it." Ben explained. "And when I complained... now
when they brought it, he said he had instructions from Dimitri to look
after us. So, there you have it."

We ate the breakfast. Then Ben showed me his finished poster before we
left. At the flat we went straight to bed. We were both exhausted and the
thought of sex never even crossed our minds before we fell asleep in each
other's arms.