Date: Fri, 28 Feb 2003 18:27:03 +0000
From: Ryan McGrady <ryanmcg97@hotmail.com>
Subject: The Freshman Series-Part 11

Disclaimer:
All the normal disclaimers apply, including... This story
involves sex between minors; if you are not 18 or older, or if this kind of
story is illegal in the place where you live do not continue beyond this
point.
If this kind of story offends you please do not continue either. The
names of characters used in this story and all its parts are completely
fictional and similarity to any person, living or dead, is purely
coincidental.

To all the people that have been sending me emails, I thank
you for your kind words. As always, I welcome everyone's emails. I hope you
enjoy it.


The Freshman, Part 11

I woke that Wednesday morning without an erection; the first time in at
least five years, maybe longer. I rose from my bed, stretched my tired
muscles and pulled the front of my P.J. pants open and took a peak. Other
than being bright red and slightly sore, everything seemed to be the same
as it always was. I plunged my hand into my pants and gave it a
squeeze. The feeling of one's hand on his own dick is something a boy lives
for. The sensation always causes me to take a deep breath, close my eyes
and gently bite my lip. I love that feeling. My poor, overused dick didn't
even bother refusing my call to action and promptly brought itself to full
attention. I gave it a few slow and sensuous strokes, then let go.

"How 'bout we give it a rest this morning, boy," I said to my throbbing
penis.

I was in and out of the shower quickly, careful not to spend too much time
down there, no matter how much he begged. I dried off, tossed the wet towel
in the hamper and stood in front of the mirror, studying my naked form. My
young body wasn't nearly as defined as my brothers, but I wasn't ashamed by
what I saw either. Happy to be me, I grabbed my toothbrush and started
brushing. That's when Hunter walked in.

"Oh, sorry," he mumbled shyly and turned to go back into his room.

"Waaaa?" I shrugged and asked with a mouthful of paste. "Eh naw lie ew ewa
een ee aked eor."

Hunter looked back at me confused. I spit and repeated, "It's not like
you've never seen me naked before."

"Yeah, but..."  he paused, but never took his eyes off my naked
body. "...it's just kinda weird, you know?"

"No, not really. I've seen you naked; you've seen me.  We're brothers
dude. I don't see anything weird about it."

"It's just...  after last night... I don't know," he said and walked back
into his room.

I felt bad. Had I tainted my little brother to the joys of sexuality? Did
he think I was gay? Did he think he was? Had I corrupted his innocence
before his time? What was I thinking? I rinsed the remaining toothpaste
from my face and pulled my P.J. bottoms back on. Tentatively, I opened the
door to Hunter's bedroom and peaked inside. He was lying on his back on his
bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Hey man, I'm sorry," I said. "You're right. I just
didn't... nevermind. I'll stay covered up." He rolled his head to the side
to look at me and smiled. "We cool then?"

"Yeah," he said back. "Thanks," he added as I backed into the bathroom and
shut the door. The events of the previous night were never mentioned again.

I felt really great that morning on my walk to school. I felt like the king
of the world and nothing could bring me down. I wasn't quite sure how I
would classify what Ryan and I had, but I was happy to have it. I wanted it
to be love, but after the disaster with Jed, I wasn't about to go down that
road again. I would let Ryan decide how to classify our relationship. But
were we in a relationship? Was it just one night of raw passion, or was it
something more? It felt like something more to me, but then again I've
always been an overly emotional kid that over thinks... well,
everything. Maybe this was just one more example. I surely would love to be
Ryan's, dare I say, boyfriend... but I would be just as happy as his "fuck
buddy." ...I think. All I really knew for sure was that for the first time
in weeks, I was truly happy.

But why is it that when you're enjoying a perfect, sunny day, that one
rouge dark cloud ends up raining on your parade?

"Hey queerboy," a voice called out from behind me as I headed to my
locker. My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach as my anxiety level
soared. Knowing full well the comment was directed at me, I decided I would
ignore it and move on. I should have known better.

"We're talking to you, pussy," another, deeper voice said as I was yanked
backwards by my backpack. I was jerked around to face Big Ed flanked by two
of his ogre-looking friends. Bobby Jenkins was one of the linemen on the
football team, and for good reason. He was about six-foot-two and must have
weighed close to 250 pounds. I'd like to say it was all muscle, but it
wasn't. He reminded me of Billy-Bob from the movie Varsity Blues. Toby
Watkins was the other lineman standing next to Ed. He was just a few inches
shorter than Bobby and about 50 pounds lighter. He was what I would call
husky; a good mix between chubby and muscular. He would probably have even
been attractive except for the fact that his face was hopelessly riddled
with acne.

"Hey guys," I said nervously with a smile. "What's up?"

"Be in the locker room after practice today," Toby said, his voice very
deep and butch.

"Why, what's up?" I asked, knowing exactly what it was they wanted. But I
had already decided I was never going to let them have their way with me
again.  My body was reserved for Ryan, and Ryan only.

"What's up?" Bobby repeated sarcastically. "My dick up your ass, that's
what's up," he said, chuckling to himself for being so damned witty.

"Listen guys, I don't want to do it anymore," I explained. "I think it
would be best if I just..."

Ed grabbed my shirt with both fists, lifted me off the ground like I
weighed nothing and slammed my back into the wall with a thud and grunt
from me as most of the air is crushed from my lungs. I was hovering at
least a foot off the ground, staring eye-to-eye with the Ed.

"Now you listen, shithead. You WILL be there today and you WILL do whatever
we want you to, as long as we want," he growled at me. It scared me enough
that I felt my eyes begin to well up.  "You made a commitment and you're
going to stick with it. You're our pussyboy, so live with it."

With that, he crushed me against the wall one last time and released his
grip, letting me slide down the wall back to my feet. I could hardly
breathe, partly because probably the strongest kid in the school just
slammed me full force into a wall, and partly from the reality that I had
absolutely no control over who was using my body.

"See ya after school queerboy," Bobby said as they three of them walked
away.

I wanted to cry. But I was too self-conscience to let others see me cry. So
I ran to the bathroom and locked myself in one of the stalls. I was ready
to begin crying once I was safely tucked behind the sudo-steel, graffiti
covered walls when I heard two voices enter the bathroom.

"Goddamn I can't wait 'til after practice today," the first boy said.

"Yeah, I've been saving up for today. I hear this kid's ass is so fuckin'
tight," the other said.

"Hell yeah. I had him last week. Was better than any piece of pussy I've
ever had. Tighter than the tightest virgin."

"Fuck, I'm hard just thinkin' about it. I'm gonna blast his faggot ass with
the biggest load of my life."

"I hear the dirty little queer is a good cocksucker too."

"Yeah, but he can't say no like those slut cheerleaders." Both began
chuckling at that one. "And you don't even have to buy him dinner."

Suddenly I didn't feel like crying anymore. No, another emotion was now
sweeping across me.  Anger.

"Ha, ha, ha," I mocked-laughed at the top of my lungs. I unlatched the door
and swung it open, sending it crashing loudly into the wall. "Yeah, let's
all have a good laugh at the faggot's expense," I spit out. The two were
standing at the urinals, looking over their shoulders with their backs to
me. The silence was deafening. I just stood their staring them down.

"Look, we know you like it, so stop pretending like we're hurting your
feelings or something," the boy on the left, Jake Parker, said smugly.

"Yeah, you act all wounded, but I heard you moaning when we fucked the shit
outta you. You're a dirty queer and you love to have us gang fucking your
queer ass," the other, Brett Foster, added.

"Everyone knows you want dick, so we're just giving you want you want,"
Jake said as he turned back to finish pissing. "Fucking faggot," he said
under his breath as he passed me on his way to the sink, purposely knocking
his shoulder into mine as he passed.

"Oh yeah, I'M the faggot," I barked out sarcastically.  "I like to suck
dick, yes. I like dick up my ass, yes. But one thing you all seem to miss
here is that it takes two to tango baby. So if I'm a faggot, what exactly
does that make you?" Nothing but silence followed my comments.  "I think
when it comes down to it, every last one of you are just as much a dirty
faggot as I am. And at least I'm man enough to admit it." With that, I
stormed out of the bathroom and on to first period.

Sitting there in class with steam still spewing from me like a volcano, I
reran this morning's event over and over again in my head. Once I had a
chance to calm down a bit, I found myself wondering when it was that I grew
a spine. What was I thinking talking to these huge specimens of male
perfection like I did? They could turn me into a human pretzel without
breaking a sweat! But I'm glad I did. I felt somewhat better getting it off
my chest the way I did. But the fact remained that it probably did little
to change my situation. I felt ashamed at what I had become. Brett was
right; I was a dirty little faggot that loved what he was getting. So why
was I so upset? I think by this point, I had resigned myself to the fact
that I was gay. But that didn't bother me. The fact that I was the football
team's cheap fucktoy did bother me. I sighed deeply and hoped that soon it
would all be over. I truly hoped that once football season ended this
Friday night, so would my servitude.


The next few periods passed quickly and I found myself wandering campus
looking for a quiet place to eat my lunch. I purposely stayed clear of the
cafeteria and the surrounding area, not wanting to have another encounter
with the football team. I was walking past the Science wing toward a small
patio area with a concrete picnic table that looked old enough to be part
of some Greek ruins. This area was always deserted at lunch, being one of
the more secluded spots on campus. That's when I spotted Ryan McGrady round
the corner, headed toward me.

"Hey!" he called to me. I couldn't look him the face and started walking
quickly in the other direction.

"Hey, wait up!" he yelled again. I could hear him trotting up faster than I
was trotting away.  "STOP!" he yelled and put his hand on my shoulder.

"Go away," I said flatly and jerked my shoulder from his grasp.

"What's the matter, Josh?" he asked, sounding truly sincere.

I noticed that he had stopped me right in front of the bathroom. I closed
my eyes with my back still to him. I hated life more than ever at that
moment. I opened my eyes and spun around to face him.


"What? You can't wait until after practice? Got to have a piece now?" I
said sharply. "Hear, go ahead," I said as I dropped my backpack to the
ground and started unbuttoning my pants.

"What are you talking about?" Ryan asked, confusion thick in his voice.

"I know I'm just a toy for you to fuck when ever you snap your fingers. So
here, take me," I hissed and jerked my pants and boxers down past my
butt. I turned around, bent over and slapped my asscheek. "Here ya go. It's
all yours!"

Ryan's eyes got huge and he quickly scanned the area. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
He asked in a panic. He quickly moved closer and pulled my pants back up
and shuffled me into the bathroom. "What the fuck was that all about?" he
asked.

This time, the tears began flowing freely. "I hate you!" I bit out. "I hate
all of you!"

"Josh, I... I don't know what to say? I'm sorry about last night, I didn't
mean to..."

"Last night?" I cut in. "And what was last night exactly? Just another fuck
or was it something more? I thought we had something special, but I guess
it was just another fuck, wasn't it?"

"No, it wasn't," he said quietly. "I... I don't know exactly what to
say. I've never felt this way about..."

"A fag?"

"Anyone," he returned plainly.


"Everyone knows I'm gay, Ryan."

"I don't care. I've never felt so... I can't even put the feelings into
words. Your touch, your smell, everything about you makes me feel... GOD! I
can't describe it."

"Love?"

There was a long pause and the air was thick enough to cut with a knife.

"I don't know," Ryan replied softly. "I know you're gay, Josh. And I don't
have a problem with that. But it's not something I can be."

"Then I guess that's it, isn't it?"

"I guess so."

"Right," I bit out. "I'll see you after practice," I said as I rebuttoned
my pants and started to walk out.

"I was hoping you wouldn't show."

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone your dirty little secret."

"That's not it. I don't like what we do to you."

"Spare me your sympathy," I said and walked away.

"GODAMNIT, JOSH!" Ryan yelled and stormed after me. I ignored him, and
reached down to pick up my backpack when he grabbed me. He turned me around
and grasped both my arms just below my shoulders. Our faces were mere
inches apart and slowly closing. I was putty in his arms. "I care about
what happens to you," he whispered firmly, yet somehow tender. "Please
don't be like this. You're better than this; better than all of
us. Understand that I will always protect you, keep you safe, but you can't
keep going back there. I can't stop them from hurting you."

"I know," I said sadly and lowered my eyes away from his gaze. His strong
hand gently touched my chin and brought my head back up so that I was again
looking into his beautiful face. "I love you," I said softly.

"I know," he returned. I moved my face closer and our foreheads gently
touched.  Then his muscular arms wrapped themselves around my small frame
and pulled me into him. His embrace nearly crushed the air from my lungs,
but I wasn't about to complain. I wrapped my arms around his solid back and
squeezed him in return. Tears returned to my eyes.

After what seemed like an eternity in his arms, we separated. He picked my
backpack up and handed it to me. I could see that his eyes were heavy with
tears that he had been fighting back.

"Stay away today. For me," he said.

"I can't," I replied. "This is something I have to do. I can't walk away
now. I made a promise and I intend to keep it. But just through
Friday. Then I walk away."

Ryan closed his eyes and nodded. "Like I said, you're better than all of
us," he said, turned and walked away.


End of Part 11

Be sure to check back for Part 12.
As always, I welcome all comments and suggestions. Josh's story is close to
finished, yet and I do like to get input from outside sources. My e-mail
address is RyanMcG97@hotmail.com.