Date: Tue, 21 Dec 2004 19:39:47 EST
From: DomLuka@aol.com
Subject: The Log Way Chapter 07

If you are offended by male/male relationships, or male/male sexual
relationships, then you shouldn't be here in the first place. If this conduct is
illegal in your area, you must EXIT NOW.

This story is not to be copied or posted elsewhere without permission from
the author.

If you are interested in a story about gay teenage males, then please take
your time and enjoy. Feedback/comments/suggestions and even complaints are
welcome at DomLuka@aol.com


Chapter seven: the long day

The rain had stopped by morning. The chill was still in the air, and the sky
was gray, but it didn't look like we'd have another downpour anytime soon.
That was good thing, because I was looking forward to going hiking with Aiden.

He wasn't in the tent when I woke up, and I wondered if there would be any
awkwardness between us after last night. I hoped not. But I also figured that if
there was any awkwardness it would be my own fault. I knew that everything
that had happened during the storm meant nothing to Aiden. We had just been two
friends, helping each other out. He had probably done that sort of thing a
hundred times before with his friends. But I hadn't. I had never participated in
a circle jerk or anything of the sort. It would have been considered `too gay'
 at the time in my life when I would have been interested in it. The only
other boy I had ever touched before last night was Dan.

I got dressed and headed out of the tent, wanting to see Aiden. I figured
that all I needed was for him to smile at me and any awkwardness would fade away.
He was sitting on the tailgate of my truck with Tony though, and it looked
like they were in the middle of a pretty serious discussion, so I didn't
interrupt.

I went to the fire, which was burning low because of all the moisture, and I
helped myself to a pop tart. Shane and Chris were awake, but Adam was still
asleep. I told Chris that I was planning on going for a hike with Aiden and
Shane mentioned that he and Adam planned on seeing the girls from last night,
which earned him some friendly teasing from Chris, that is, until Shane turned it
around on Chris, mentioning that he had looked pretty cozy with the eldest
Luis daughter.

I noticed that Tony and Aiden had finished talking. Tony was coming towards
the fire but Aiden was still sitting on the tailgate, looking somewhat
dejected. He looked up and caught me staring at him and suddenly whatever seemed to be
bothering him disappeared from his face. He flashed me a wan smile and waved,
so I guessed whatever it was, I wasn't his problem. I waved back and then
looked at Tony as he sat down next to me.

"What time are we leaving?" I asked.

"Depends on the weather." Tony yawned, "I was thinking we could head out
before dinner time and stop somewhere on the way home, but if we get anymore rain
we should leave earlier. But it seems everyone has plans today, so I think we
should at least pack up most of the camp this morning, so we don't have to
worry about it later."

"That's a good idea." Chris agreed, "I'm gonna go wake Adam up."

The three of us nodded tiredly and after stuffing ourselves with a breakfast
of junk food we started to tear down the camp, deciding to leave the coolers
out and our bags accessible in Tony's car. I helped Aiden take down the tent we
had slept in and we got things done fairly quickly.

"You still up for that hike?" he asked. It was the first thing he had said
to me all morning.

"Yeah, if you are." I replied.

"Cool." He smiled, "do you want to leave before your fan club gets here?"

"Huh?"

Aiden nodded to where Shane and Adam were disappearing into the woods.

"They're off to get those girls." Aiden smirked.

"Right." I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I want to leave before they get here.
Wouldn't want them following us."

Aiden nodded and then grabbed a backpack. I finished putting away the tent as
he went to fill the pack with food and a few other supplies. I wasn't sure
where we were going and I wasn't sure how long we'd be gone, but Aiden seemed
to have an idea, so I decided not to worry about it.

After Tony asked us to head back if the weather turned, we were on our way.
At first, it seemed like just another walk, but as we continued I began to
wonder how Aiden never managed to get lost. Something would catch his eye and he'd
go take a picture of it, then he'd see something else, and we'd be off
again. For a while I actually thought we were going in circles, and I had no idea
where we were.

But I liked watching Aiden, and I was personally enjoying myself too. The
rain had left the ground muddy, and water was still dripping from the trees, but
the walking around in it seemed somehow refreshing.

As the morning became afternoon the clouds seemed to vanish and the sun was
back by the time we started moving uphill. I was behind Aiden, transfixed on
his perfect butt and tight jeans, thinking about last night. Not a word had been
said about it, but I guess that was the way it was supposed to be.

And then he suddenly stopped. Without looking, he absently reached back for
me and I purposely moved into his hand, not at all surprised as he took hold of
my arm in that familiar way and pulled me up next to him without taking his
eyes off of whatever it was that had his attention.

"Owen, look." he whispered.

I did look, and if Aiden weren't holding onto my arm so tightly I would have
taken a step back. At the top of the hill, moving through the trees was the
biggest elk I had ever seen. Actually, it was the only live one I had ever seen.

Every year my father would go hunting. I only went with him one year when I
was fifteen, and I guess you could say that I was glad we didn't find anything.
I hate guns, and shooting at animals wasn't on the top of my list of fun
things to do. It was the first time in ten years that my father came back from
hunting with nothing, so he decided to call me a jinx and never took me with him
again. And don't think it hurt my feelings either.

Now, seeing this elk with Aiden, I wondered why anyone would want to kill it
in the first place. It was beautiful. I noticed it was coming closer, and was
terrified to even breath for fear of spooking it away. But I managed to pry my
eyes from it long enough to look at Aiden, who seemed as transfixed as I had
been. He had this strange look on his face, sort of peaceful, and his eyes
seemed glassed over, unmoving from the creature lurking in the trees.

I placed my hand over Aiden's and slowly moved it from my arm, guiding it to
his camera. Aiden looked down at his camera and then smiled at me before
picking it up, ever so carefully and he waited to get a better angle. The animal
walked right in front of us. Aiden took the picture and the elk's head shot up,
its eye trained right on us, and all three of us stood there frozen for a
moment. And then, in one quick flash it was gone.

Aiden and I both released the breaths that we had been holding. We silently
smiled at each other and continued on our way. After a while I noticed that we
had moved onto a trail and we were headed towards some tall rocks. Aiden
gestured up ahead and grinned.

"This is the place I was telling you about." He said, "I found it last night.
"

He held his camera and his pack and suddenly ran ahead. I wasn't in a rush,
so by the time I reached the rocks he had already climbed to the top. I looked
up just when he decided to take my picture. Shaking my hand and chuckling, I
climbed up the rocks where Aiden was waiting for me at the top. He grabbed my
arm at the last minute and pulled me up with him and I looked over the scenery.

"Wow." Was all I could say. It wasn't the most beautiful spot in the world,
but I had to admit that it did have its charms. The rocks stretched up the
side of the mountain, and in front of us was no more than an eight foot drop into
a pond. At least, I think it was a pond. It was too small to be a lake, but
it was bigger than your average swimming pool, and the water looked deep
enough. It wasn't the clearest water in the world, but the surface took on a
silvery, shimmering effect, causing the yellow grass and brown shrubs surrounding it
to appear livelier than they were.

"You should see it at sunset." Aiden sighed as he took a seat on the rocks,
not bothered that they were still damp from last nights rain, "I've got some
pictures, I'll have to show you when we get back."

"Yeah," I nodded. "It's really great, Aiden. Are you going to take more
pictures?"

He shook his head.

"Nah, I used a whole roll here yesterday." He let the backpack drop from his
shoulders, set his camera on it and got comfortable, so I took a seat next to
him, letting my legs dangle off the edge. "Thanks for coming up here with me,
Owen."

"Hey, I was glad to do it." I insisted, "Thanks for having me."

He grinned and then lifted something out of the backpack. He held up the
joint that Ryan had given to him and a lighter.

"Wanna?" he asked.

"Shit," I shook my head, "You guys are going to turn me into a pot head. Do
you do this a lot?"

"No," he replied, "But I do like to indulge every now and then. Especially
this week. Being suspended from school, and not having to work all week, well..."

"So light it up."

Aiden grinned and did just that. I didn't experience any coughing incidents
this time, and instead of giggling uncontrollably like I had with Ryan, we were
just really relaxed, leaning against each other and enjoying the view.

"Hey Owen?"

"Huh?"

"Did you ever think this would happen?" he asked.

I looked at him.

"What do you mean?"

"When you jumped in that fight." He replied, "did you ever picture us here a
few days later? I mean, I know it sounds weird, but I feel like I've known
you forever, not just a few days.  Maybe I did, because of the way that Chris
and Tony talked about you, but still...it feels like something more."

"I know what you mean." I agreed. It was true, I hadn't known Aiden very
long, and in truth, I hardly knew anything about him, but there was a comfort
level there when we were together, just a feeling I got, like I knew that we
could be friends for a very long time.

I looked at Aiden only to find he was staring at me again, and looked to be
in deep thought, not so much as flinching when I caught him staring. Actually,
the intensity of his gaze put me on edge, I couldn't have broken away from
those brown eyes if I wanted to, as glazed over and bloodshot as I'm sure my own
eyes were. But I thought I saw something there, the way he was looking at me.
I didn't say anything though, not with the marijuana induced haze I was
feeling. I figured that whatever it was, it was my imagination.

And then the moment was broken when a sly grin made its way over Aiden's face
and he suddenly stood up, tossing what was left of the roach into the water
below. I watched in stunned silence as he braced his feet on the rock and
stretched with as much gracefulness as a cat before he shook his coat off his
shoulders and let it fall. I caught it, fearing it would fall into the water and
looked up in time to see him pulling his sweater over his head. I actually
started to get worried.

"Aiden, what are you doing? It's freezing out here, man."

"It's not that cold." He smiled back at me.

I started to get up, but when he unbuttoned his pants and kicked off his
shoes, my legs failed to work and I sat right where I was, staring at his smooth
back and long legs.

"Oh god." I muttered, for so many reasons. What the hell was he doing? Part
of me wanted to get up and cover his crazy ass up before he caught pneumonia,
but the rest of me was enjoying the show too damn much.

He reached down and pulled off his socks, one at a time, and then, when he
straightened up, his boxers started to come off. My mouth went dry as he removed
the last article of clothing between his bare skin and the cold air, and when
his boxers had joined the pile of all of his other clothes he took a step
back, so that his beautiful, round butt was practically in my face, his olive
skin there just a shade lighter than the rest of him. It was all I could do not
to burry my face in it. He glanced back at me with a grin on his face and I
forced my eyes up to his.

"Coming?" he asked.

Shit. As I realized what he was about to do I was on my feet in a second.

"Aiden, come on," I insisted. Clearly he wasn't thinking straight. I would
have to do the thinking for both of us, it seemed. "It's freezing, that water'
s got to be like, zero degrees."

"Your exaggerating." He pointed out.

"Okay, but still, it has to be pretty damn cold, and you don't even know how
deep it is! You'll end up breaking your neck and I'll end up having to carry
you back to camp, which wont be easy considering I have no idea where we are."

Aiden laughed at me.

"Then I guess if that happens I'll owe you." he winked, and with that, he
jumped off the rocks shouting `Whoo-hooo!' I wanted to kill him.

I looked over as he disappeared under the water, waiting for him to come up
announcing that he had broken his ankle. Instead he came up sputtering with his
teeth chattering and attempted to grin up at me in triumph. I couldn't help
laughing.

"Shit!" I called, "Are you alright?"

"Yep, Water's plenty deep." He replied, "Now get your ass naked and get
down here!"

I took a step back defensively.

"Hell no! I can see your teeth chattering from here, no way am I going to
freeze my balls off."

"It's not that bad, I swear, come on, stop acting so damned responsible and
get down here before I come up there and throw your ass in!"

I think he'd actually do it too.

"No way!"

Aiden stared up at me with a determined look on his face as he treaded water,
and another mischievous grin spread across his face.

"Okay then." He smiled, "I guess you're just going to have to rescue me."

"Huh?" what the hell was he talking about?

"I'm gonna hold my breath until you get your butt down here." He announced, "
If I drown, it's all your fault!"

I rolled my eyes at him and watched as he disappeared under the water. I
stood with my arms crossed, smiling, waiting for him to come up sputtering again.
After a whole minute passed and I saw no sign of Aiden my smile faded and I
started pacing, beginning to feel paranoid.

After the two minutes I began to call his name, feeling knots in my stomach
as I waited for him to surface. Before three minutes had passed I set a new
record for removing my clothes. Naked, except for my socks I bent down to remove
them when I heard a whistle much like one you would hear when a pretty girl
walks into a truck stop, and I spun around to see Aiden grinning at me from the
water.

"You asshole!" I shouted.

Aiden laughed and treaded backwards, looking up at me.

"Come say that to my face."

I shook my head, half tempted to put my clothes back on and call it a day,
but hell, I was already naked and cold, I might as well go all the way. I
stepped up to the edge of the eight-foot drop. I wasn't afraid of the distance, and
the water seemed deep enough, so I turned my back to the water and lifted
myself into the air in a back flip, the way I used to jump off the diving board of
Nicky's pool, and then dropped feet first into the water.

It was cold. Not just cold, really cold. The second I hit the water I swear
my balls shriveled all the way up to my throat. I came up sputtering and
shivering at the same time, while Aiden laughed at me.

"That was fucking cool." He said as he swam towards me.

"You're fucking psycho!" I retorted, but with no malice, "It's freezing, I'
m out of here."

I started swimming towards the shore but Aiden grabbed my arm, and before I
could do anything about it he dunked me. So the wrestling match began. For the
good part of thirty minutes we splashed, grabbed and dunked each other,
laughing all the way. And it was more fun than I could remember ever having. There
was nothing sexual about it; it was too damn cold to pop a bone anyways. Just
two friends goofing on each other, forgetting the rest of the world existed
outside of that pond.

I'm pretty sure that I managed to get Aiden a lot more than he got me. I also
had a small suspicion that he was letting me. Every time I got my arms around
him to dunk him or lift him up and throw him into the water he would
completely relax against me and come up laughing.

For a little while he seemed so different from that intense, mysterious guy
he seemed to be in the real world, here he was just a little boy having fun,
and I felt the same way. My insecurities, fears, and doubts, all went away for
one afternoon and I had as much fun as I could until both of us were blue in
the lips and our muscles were cramping.

We climbed back up to the rocks finally, leaving the water behind. Aiden had
a spare t-shirt in his back pack and we used it to dry off as much as
possible, but when we put our clothes back on we were still damp, so we huddled
together on the rocks as we ate some chips Aiden brought, quenching our belated case
of the munchies.

I'm not sure how long we were there for, but it was late afternoon when I
knew that we needed to be heading back, and Aiden said exactly what was on my
mind.

"I don't want to go back, Owen."

I gave his shoulder a friendly squeeze and he looked at me.

"I know." I nodded. But I didn't know, not really. The way Aiden had said it
seemed like so much more than not wanting to go back to camp. It was like he
was saying that he didn't want to go back to life in particular. But as usual,
I didn't question him.

After a moment, he lifted his camera from where it had been sitting on the
rocks, draped an arm around me and aimed the lens at us. Seeing what he was
doing I leaned in and smiled. I may not like getting my picture taken, but this
was going to be one picture I wanted a copy of.

A picture could never capture the way I had felt for the past few hours, just
being there with Aiden, being his friend, and having him as mine. But it
could capture that one moment on the rocks, and it could be a constant reminder
that we had each other.

We had only known each other for a few days, but there was a bond there, a
silent, unspoken bond between two people who both had secrets. I didn't know
Aiden's and he didn't know mine, but there was an understanding between us. I
hoped that there would me many more of these little, trouble free moments
between us.

The rocks and the pond were in no way a paradise, but it was special to us
now, because for one afternoon it was ours, and I couldn't wait to come back.

It wasn't quite dark yet when we reached camp. Chris and Tony were nowhere to
be seen, but there was still a fire, and Adam and Shane were around it, along
with Melissa and her sister, whose name I still couldn't remember. I felt
nauseous when Melissa attempted to flash a seductive smile my way.

It wasn't that she wasn't a nice girl, I'm sure she was, but she came on
strong, and didn't like that. Not to mention that I wasn't interested in her
gender in particular. I felt somewhat comforted when Aiden threw his arm around
my shoulder, but I flashed him a look that could kill when he started to lead
me towards the fire. He just winked at me.

"Damn, where have you guys been?" Adam shouted at us, "and what the hell
happened to you?"

We both looked down, remembering that we probably looked like hell. Our
clothes were muddy and out hair hadn't completely dried yet. Actually, we were
still pretty damn cold.

"Owen talked me into going skinny dipping." Aiden replied, matter of factly,
"He's crazy, you know."

"No shit?" Shane laughed, "I didn't know there was any place to swim up
here, but that water must have been freezing."

"Oh, it was." Aiden nodded, looking completely scandalized "Believe me, I
tried to talk him out of it, said it was too cold, he could end up breaking his
neck, but no- Owen here, had to go off and prove me wrong."

I fought back a smile as I glared at Aiden. We both knew that it was the
other way around, but I decided to play along.

"Well," I said, "Maybe I'm crazy, but that makes you stupid for listening
to me. That water was freezing!"

Aiden just shook his head at me and then we laughed, but no one else seemed
to get it. And then Melissa stood up to greet me as we reached the fire.

"I think it's awesome." She cooed, "I mean, I'd love to go skinny dipping."

Okay, I admit it, the girl made me blush, especially with the way she licked
her lips after that last statement.

"Well, I'm sure Aiden could tell you where to go." I replied, hoping to
discourage her, "I'm not good with directions."

"Aiden can tell me and I'll take you." Adam grinned at Melissa, causing
Shane to giggle. She just rolled her eyes and sat back down, this time next to me
as Aiden and I held our hands out towards the fire in an attempt to warm up.

"Where are Chris and Tony?" Aiden asked.

"They said that they were going for a walk." Adam explained, "I think we're
leaving when they get back."

"That's too bad." Melissa pouted, looking at me, "We hardly had any time to
hang out."

"We've had all day." Shane remarked, obviously annoyed with Melissa's lack
of interest in him. Melissa's sister didn't seem to care either way, she
seemed like she was actually bored.

"They should be back soon." Adam said to Aiden and me.

We nodded and then Aiden squeezed my shoulder before he suddenly got up and
announced that he was going to change into warmer, clean clothes. Since the
tents had already been taken down he went behind my truck to change. I was half
tempted to follow him, but decided to do the same thing after he was finished.

I was glad that while I was warming up by the fire, that Adam was busy
chatting about life back home, keeping Melissa involved, which meant that she wasn't
bothering me. But then he started talking about the fight, despite my
objections, making me look like a hero that I wasn't, and that had both girls asking
questions and making silly remarks- was I okay? Did I break anything? Gag me!
Better yet, someone gag them.

When Aiden returned half way through the story I wanted to kiss him, but not
just because he came back; because he came back, and then wedged himself
between Melissa and me, much to her chagrin. I didn't understand it. Aiden was
gorgeous, and in my opinion, Melissa should be thrilled to death that he was
sitting so close to her. I found it insulting to Aiden that she would be interested
in me instead of him.

I lasted another few minutes of listening to Adam recounting every detail of
the fight, and adding some with Shane jumping in every once in a while before
I went to get fresh clothes out of my brother's car and went to change behind
my truck. I felt a little weird, taking off my clothes for the second time
that day, outside, especially with girls so close by, so I moved quickly and then
rejoined everyone at the fire.

We sat around chatting for a while, and when I had come back I made sure to
sit on the other side of Aiden, not near Melissa, and when she wasn't hitting
on me she actually seemed like a nice enough person.

But I do have to admit that when the eldest Luis sister showed up to tell the
girls that their parents wanted them back I was a little relived. All four of
us got hugs from the younger Luis girls, and I was nice enough about it, I
think. But I did have to keep a straight face when the eldest sister gave me her
phone number to give Chris, knowing full well that he probably wouldn't use
it. I almost felt bad about the hopeful look on her face.

After the girls left, the four of us began to clean up the camp, making sure
we had all of the garbage picked up before we put out the fire, and by the tim
e Tony and Chris came back we were ready to go.

I ended up riding with Adam on the way back, and although I liked riding with
Aiden, I was glad to have Adam with me. I had told myself that I wanted to
use this trip to get to know him, and although we had spent plenty of time
having fun together, I hadn't really had much time alone with him.

Actually, when we first left the campground I was looking forward to Adam's
talkative nature; but instead, I found that he was unusually quiet. I glanced
over at him a few times and he was just staring out the window, looking out
into the oncoming darkness.

In the past, it was always Adam who started the conversations. I had done my
best to keep my distance from him, no matter how nice he had been to me. But
now I found myself wanting to talk to him, and striking up a conversation wasn'
t really something that I was good at. But I tried, nonetheless.

"So this weekend was fun, huh?" I asked.

"Mmm-hmm." He mumbled. He didn't even look in my direction. This was weird.
Maybe I didn't know Adam all that well, but something seemed off to me.

"So, I guess you and Shane had fun with those girls?" I continued. There.
Perfect opening for someone like Adam. He could chat my ear off for hours about
girls.

"Yep."

I looked over at Adam again. I suddenly felt like our roles were reversed. I
was trying to have a conversation and he was giving me the shortest possible
answers and not contributing anything at all. It was really fucking annoying. I
wondered if this was how Adam felt when the situation had been reversed. It
was a little unsettling.

"Adam, are you alright?" I asked.

This time he did look at me, but the expression on his face was unreadable.

"Do you care?" he asked.

I was a little stunned. He sounded angry, but I honestly didn't get it. He
had been happy when we left the campsite; at least he seemed to be. Now he
seemed angry. With me. It wasn't something I was used to, or expecting. Adam had
never so much as raised his voice to me before. And quite frankly, I didn't like
the tone in his voice. I felt the need to become defensive.

"What are you talking about?" I demanded. "What's your problem?"

"You know what? Never mind."

I glanced at him again, and he was back to looking out the window.

"Did I do something?" I asked, "I mean, enlighten me here, what has you so
pissed off?"

He turned back to me. I couldn't see him because I was watching the road, but
his eyes were boring into me.

"Let me ask you something, Owen. If Chris and Tony hadn't asked me and Shane
to come along this weekend, would you have?"

"What?"

"Would you have invited us out here?"

"I don't know Adam, what kind of question is that anyways? I mean, Chris
invited you guys along before I even knew we were going."

"That doesn't answer my question." He said coldly.

"What exactly are you getting at here?" I asked, becoming exasperated.

"Did you even want us here?" he asked.

"Of course I did." I insisted, "I thought we had fun...is this because we didn
't hang out a whole lot today? Because I went on that hike with Aiden?"

"Well it would have been nice to at least been invited to go with you guys."
Adam replied, "but no, that isn't what this is about, Owen. I didn't mind
not going with you, and I didn't mind that you went, especially because it meant
I got to make out with Melissa. If you were around she never would have known
I existed."

I turned to him and smiled.

"You made out with Melissa?"

"Yeah," he sheepishly grinned, and then looked annoyed again.

"Is that what this is about?" I asked, "Melissa?"

"No." he stated, obviously agitated. "You know, I can't figure you out,
Owen."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Why do you get so pissed when I talk about the fight with Dennis?" he asked.

Had I been that obvious?

"I don't get pissed." I lied.

"Yes you do."

"Look Adam... it's not that, I just don't like to talk about it, is all."
and then I had a thought, "Why do you like to talk about it so much?"

"I don't know." he sighed, "I guess I figure if I tell it enough times I'll
actually start to believe it."

He had completely lost me.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, "Half the time you tell it you add
things that never even happened. You're not making any sense."

"I'm talking about you, damn it!" he practically screamed at me. "I thought
we were friends Aiden, but I guess that was just my imagination, right? I
mean, the first day you showed up at school, I thought you were just quiet. But I
also thought you were pretty cool, that's why I always wanted to hang around
you. I thought the feeling was mutual."

Crap. I could see where Adam was going, and he was right. He had seen me as a
friend, while I saw him as an acquaintance, and if there was any friendship
at all, I had contributed nothing to it. Actually, it was a miracle he hadn't
dumped me way before this.

"Adam, I..."

"You were there." Adam interrupted. "Every day, you were there when Dennis
was hassling me, or Shane, or any of those other guys who sit with you every
day, acting like you're part of the group when really you didn't give a shit
about any of us. You saw the way Dennis treated us and you kept you're fucking
head down. Well, you know what? I didn't have a problem with that because that'
s exactly what everyone else did. But then Aiden came along..." I managed to
glance at Shane long enough to see the anger on his face, and then he screamed
at me again. "You didn't even know him! I mean, I knew Aiden. Hell, he's one
of my friends, but you didn't even know him! You went and played the hero for
someone you don't even know! And all this time...all that time...you never once
stepped in to take up for someone who knew you, someone who wanted to be your
friend. But someone you didn't even know? I mean, shit...and you know what,
Owen? You want to know why I jumped in that fight? It wasn't just for Aiden, you
know."

I suddenly pulled off on the side of the road. I needed to stop for a minute.
I knew that I had a lot of faults, but now that I thought about all of those
times when Dennis Gordon hassled Adam right in front of me and I didn't do a
damn thing about it when I knew that I could have made me feel sick.

"What are doing?" Adam demanded, obviously disgruntled that I had stopped.

I turned to look at him again, putting the truck in park.

"I'm sorry, Adam."

He almost looked like he hadn't expected that. He also didn't say anything,
so I continued.

"You're right. I haven't been a good friend to you, or anyone else. But that'
s because I didn't want any friends. You've been nothing but nice to me and
I haven't given anything back. And I should have done something about it when
Dennis hassled you. And I'm sorry."

Adam looked a little confused for a moment, and then he slowly nodded.

"Okay." He said.

"But you're wrong about something too." I continued. "About that fight. The
reason I get so annoyed when people talk about it is because everyone makes me
out to be some kind of hero, but I'm not."

"But..." Adam started to interrupt but I held up my hand to stop him. I needed
to get this out, and Adam deserved to know the truth, at least, some of it.
But before I could continue Chris's cell phone rang on the dashboard. I let out
a breath and picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Owen, it's Tony." My brother's voice came from the other end of the phone,
"Did we loose you? Is everything okay?"

I had been following them, and Tony probably thought I ended up lost.

"Yeah, we're fine." I told him. "We just need a minute." Tony was silent
for a moment; probably waiting for me to explain, but when I didn't, he spoke up
again.

"Okay, we'll be waiting up the road for you to catch up, and then we're
headed to a pizza joint that Chris knows on the way home."

"Okay, thanks Tony." I said, and then I hung up and faced Adam again.

"Look Owen..." he started.

"Adam, wait, just let me get this out, okay?"

He nodded and gave me his full attention.

"Okay," I sighed, "I know it was rotten of me to jump in that fight to help
Aiden when I never once did anything to help you, especially when you were
always so cool to me. But the thing is, I didn't go off that day to help Aiden."

"You've said that before but..."

"Adam, wait," damn it could be hard to get a word in with this kid. "I wish
that was the reason I got involved, I honestly do, because then, at least
there would have been a decent reason for it."

"What are you talking about?" Adam asked carefully.

I let out a breath and shook my head.

"Look Adam, I want to trust you. That's the only reason I'm telling you
this, because I think I can trust you..." I waited for him to nod before I
continued.  "If you've noticed that I don't really talk about my past, there's a
reason for it, and there's a reason I live with my brothers and not my parents...I
'm not ready to talk about all of that right now, but I will say that my dad
was a real asshole. Remember my first day of school, when you met me and asked
why I was limping around a little bit?" that was back when I was just getting
over my injuries after being discharged from the hospital.

"Yeah," Adam nodded, "you said you were in an accident."

"Well, if you call repeatedly running into my father's fists an accident,
then yeah." I sighed.

"Oh my god, Owen," Adam's eyes widened, "I'm so sorry, I didn't..."

"It's okay, really, like I said, I'm not ready to talk about all of it, but
I trust you. And it's still no excuse for the way I treated you. I'm not
looking for pity Adam, I'm telling you this because I want to help you understand.
See, that day with Dennis, it had nothing to do with Aiden. I wish it was
that dignified, but it wasn't. Dennis said something, I mean, the way he was
acting, something about it reminded me of my dad, and I just snapped."

I rubbed my face, suddenly feeling very tired, and there was silence for a
few minutes until Adam spoke up.

"I'm sorry, Owen. I didn't know."

"No, I'm the one who owes the apologies." I stated, "I am sorry Adam, and I
know that I've been a real asshole. But the thing is, you are important to
me. I know that now. And if it's okay with you, I still want to be your friend.
I mean, really be your friend, not like before. I'm not going to lie, I really
don't know much about you, but that's my fault. I want to correct it, Adam,
if you'll give me another chance." And I meant every word.

Adam studied me for a moment and then slowly smiled.

"Fine," he remarked, "But I reserve the right to tell you when you're being
an asshole. Especially now that I know you're not just quiet."

"Deal." I grinned.

He extended his hand and I took it and pulled him into a hug before I started
up the truck again.

"Oh, and Adam," I said after a minute, "From now on, if Dennis fucks with
you, he's fucking with me too, and I mean that."

"Cool."

When we caught up to the others they were pulled off on the side of the road,
just like Tony said they'd be, and then we were on our way again, stopping
for an hour to inhale three extra large pizzas. Adam ended up riding with me the
rest of the way home, only when we left the pizza place we crammed Shane in
with us too so I could take them both home when we got to town. And we had some
really good talks on the way back, although the conversation I had with Adam
never came up again. But that night I went home with two new friends.

When I did get home, my only disappointment was that Aiden had already gone
home and I missed him already, but Chris mentioned that he was helping his mom
with something, so I didn't go knock on his door. Instead, I helped my
brothers unload everything, and after three long showers, we all practically fell
into bed.

It was after midnight when I heard something in the distance. I'm not by any
means a light sleeper, so I'm surprised it woke me up. But it did nonetheless,
and it woke my brothers up too, because just as I moved out into the hall the
lights came on and I saw Tony standing there in his boxers and Chris in his
bathrobe. Both of them looked at me and then we all looked at the front door.
We could hear muffled noises, it sounded like screaming. Someone was obviously
fighting, and then there was the distant sound of glass breaking.

Chris suddenly flew out the front door and I went to follow him, but Tony
held me back.

"Hold on Owen." Tony stated. I looked at him questioningly and then back
towards the door. We heard a woman screaming and then a police siren. I wasn't
surprised that someone had called the police.

"What..." I started, but Tony just shook his head and looked towards the door
again.

I wanted to know what was going on, and frankly I was a little nervous not
knowing because one of my brothers was out there. I'm not sure how much time
passed with me just standing there, Tony's hand on my chest, but when we heard
footsteps coming up the stairs he turned to me again.

"Owen, look, I need you to go back to your room." Tony said. I really didn't
understand that, but his eyes seemed to be pleading for understanding so I
reluctantly nodded and headed back down the hall.

But I didn't get to my room. I stopped and looked back towards the front
door, and when Aiden came in ahead of Chris, dressed in his gray sweat pants,
suddenly something made sense.

I knew that Aiden stayed over a lot because there was something wrong in his
house, and tonight was obviously going to be one of those nights. But instead
of bleeding this time, he had tears running down his face. His hair was down
and messed and the moment he came in the door he was practically dripping with
agitation, even as Chris massaged his shoulders, speaking to him softly.

"It's okay man, let it go." Chris said.

"It's not okay!" Aiden screamed, making me jump as I stood there in stunned
silence from seeing him like that, watching the scene in front of me unfold.

Aiden shook Chris off and Chris stepped back, allowing Aiden to pace
furiously, shouting out his tirade.

"Why is she so stupid?" Aiden screamed, "Why do I even fucking bother? She
doesn't give a shit about me! She doesn't even care about herself! Why does
she do it?"

Aiden grabbed his hair, acting like he was going to pull it out. I wanted
nothing more than to run over there and hold him, but Chris seemed to have a
better idea as he lifted a cushion from the couch and advanced on Aiden.

"Come on then!" Chris suddenly raised his voice, sounding angry, like he did
when I was in the hospital, "You have a problem, get it out! Get it out,
Aiden!"

I almost wanted to tell Chris to knock it off, but Tony was standing idly by,
not interfering, like nothing out of the ordinary was happening. And then
Aiden began to throw punches at Chris. Well, not at Chris, but the couch cushion
was taking a beating. I wondered if this tantrum was equivalent to screaming
into a pillow for Aiden. This went on for at least five minutes while Chris
egged him on and Tony patiently waited.

My heart was pounding in my chest, surprised by how much anger Aiden had in
him. He was nothing like the boy I had shared such a wonderful afternoon with.
He had seemed like a little boy then, and he did now too, only this one was
full of pain and anger, and I didn't need to know what was going on to know that
I wanted to be there for him.

Eventually Aiden's punches lost their momentum, and I think Chris was
actually relieved that he could let go of the pillow, but the moment the hitting
stopped, Aiden's body began to shake, racking with sobs, and then Tony was there,
gathering Aiden into his arms. Aiden was not at all short. He was nearly as
tall as my brothers, but at that moment he seemed so small as he clutched Tony
for dear life.

Chris dropped the cushion and moved behind Aiden, also hugging him, and
together my brothers wrapped him up, closing Aiden in between them. I knew those
group hugs well. They made you feel safe. I suddenly wanted one. My brothers had
made it clear that they didn't parent me, but I don't think they realized
the effect they could have. No, Tony and Chris were not my parents, and they
weren't Aiden's either, but either one of them would make an excellent father
one day, and for now, I was beyond grateful that they were my family.

When things settled down and they took Aiden to the couch, I thought of going
to my room, but I couldn't bring myself to move. I knew I wasn't part of
whatever was happening, and I didn't know that Aiden would want me to be a part
of it. He obviously went to my brothers for certain things, just like I did. He
couldn't have picked two better people. And while I may have been jealous of
that before, now I was glad that Aiden had found them.

I couldn't hear what was being said, but whatever it was had Aiden nodding,
and looking better. He had also stopped crying, and when he gave both my
brothers another hug I figured it was over.

"I'll go get you some blankets." Tony told Aiden, and I started to head
silently back to my room.

But I stopped. I turned around and ended up in the living room instead. All
three of them looked at me, Chris and Tony looked like they had no idea what to
say, and Aiden looked almost frightened, like he was terrified I'd want an
explanation that he wasn't prepared to give. I knew exactly how he felt just
then. But I knew what to say, and I looked directly at Aiden to say it.

"I have some extra blankets in my room, if you want."

Tony smiled at me and Chris let out a breath he had been holding, but Aiden's
eyes were holding onto mine with that intensity they seemed to have. It only
took him a few moments to nod and get up.

"Thanks." He said softly.

I gave a small nod, and then without another word turned and went to my room,
knowing that he was following me. I held the door open for him and when he
came in, he had regained his confident composer, as if nothing had happened at
all.

"You can take the bed." I said as I shut the door and moved to the closet
for the extra blankets, "I don't mind the floor."

I was reaching for the blankets when Aiden dropped his hand on my shoulder
and I turned to look at him.

"I'm not going to kick you out of your bed." he said matter of factly, "We
both fit in that damn sleeping bag, I think we can handle your puny bed."

"It's not puny." I grinned.

Aiden rolled his eyes at me and headed for the bed, and I followed. I crawled
in first, for some reason thinking that he liked the outside, and he flicked
off the light before crawling in after me.

I sighed, closing my eyes, feeling the heat of Aiden's body radiate next to
me. Maybe I didn't know what was going on, and didn't know how to get
involved, but at least I could be there for him now, and I was so glad that he had
decided to sleep in my room, not alone on that couch, and there was nothing
sexual about it.

He was letting me be there for him the only way he knew how. And Aiden needed
me. He edged closer to me, his back towards my chest as he wriggled his body
directly against mine. I took his small hint and wrapped my arm around him,
spooning against his back. I rested my hand on his tight, flat stomach and felt
him tremble as my breath fluttered over the back of his neck. And with a
contended sigh, Aiden laced his hand over mine, and together we fell into much
needed sleep.

Author notes:

Okay, so a lot of people have been asking if there is going to be sex. The
answer to that is, most definitely. However, I haven't decided how detailed it's
going to be. I will not write a whole chapter with just sex, although I
usually do write in detail. If you want to know how much detail, I've posted a
short story under `Beginnings' called `The Spirit of James,' an older story I
wrote.
So, my question for you is, do you want detail? Or do you want it clean?  I'd
appreciate opinions on this.

Also, here's a poll for you: Who do you like better, Ryan or Adam?


Comments/Questions? Send them to DomLuka@aol.com