Date: Fri, 24 Oct 2008 18:30:38 -0400
From: chris james <drmeta4@gmail.com>
Subject: The Misfit

Dear Reader: this is adult fiction and may not be viewed by persons under
18.

	One of the earliest stories I ever wrote about boys in love. The
characters are timeless, the product of my youthful imagination, but I
wasn't even old enough to vote.  Your comments welcomed.

	drmneta4@gmail.com



			     The Misfit (B/B)


      At seventeen I decided to enter the employment market for the very
first time. I finally seemed to have the time for a job. For years prior it
seems like I was chained to the lawnmower at home all summer. Now I had
passed the job on to my little brother Ben, poor kid.

      Because of my years in competitive swimming at the YMCA I naturally
chose to pursue the freewheeling job of a lifeguard. All that sun and fun
with lots of nice ass to look at, it had to be the ideal job for a guy like
me. Let's just call it the payoff for five years of dedication to a sport
that had all but crushed my social life.

      So my feet took me straight to Jim Palmer for my first interview. The
guy had been manager of our community pool since I was a little kid and he
had always been kind. The pay was horrible, the hours long and I was told
we did little except play janitor and clean up after the club
members. Since the pool was going to open in two weeks and most of the
staff was already working, Jim smiled and handed me a broom, I guess that
meant I was hired.

      Jim was a big gentle guy who knew his job well, although the past ten
years had put a few gray hairs on his head and a pound or two around his
middle. Hell, he was only thirty-five and my heart still skipped a beat
when he shook my hand.

      I'd had a crush on him since I was a kid and would have given
anything just to feel his arms wrapped around me. But my youthful obsession
was just that, he was married with two little kids at home, and so I
settled back and began to look at the boys who belonged to our club.

      Although I'd known there was something different about me at an early
age, my sexual awakening hadn't really begun until I was twelve. My
discovery of self-pleasure was quite a revelation since my first tentative
ejaculations were accompanied by fantasies about other boys.

      At the pool every day I was surrounded with the smooth muscular
bodies of a score of naked boys as we changed for swim practice. Maybe it
was my age but I was still innocent enough to think I was alone in the
world with these feelings.

      As I grew older, I discovered others like myself and we explored the
sexual arena, seeking no answers to the hidden meaning behind our
play. Despite hours of mutual masturbation and even allowing for the
occasional oral thrill shared with another boy, I knew the world I sought
was passing me by. There was semen by the gallon but no feelings other than
the immediate and often speedy gratification of testosterone laden teenage
lust.

      And so here I was, approaching my last year of high school and a
loner, carrying the weight of my desires and dreams without the hope of
ever finding someone to share my life, even if only for a little while.

       I was in the locker room emptying the trashcans during the second
week of my tenure when I heard the shower running on the other side of the
wall. We had a large gang sized room over there with about eight or ten
shower heads, the hot water being fed from overhead pipes that banged
horribly every time the water pressure dropped. To use the shower you had
to go out of the locker area, past the bathroom and down a short hallway.

       I was drawn that way now because of a humming sound floating over
the walls and down the hallway.  It seemed that someone over there was
certainly enjoying himself. Trailing a hand along the block wall, I edged
down the hall and around the corner, stopping dead in my tracks.

	The boy was under the showers, stark naked and standing with his
back to me. Oh yes, he had an incredibly nice ass, two perfectly shaped
globes of muscular flesh sticking out above well-shaped thighs. Damn, a
great body. I watched the trickle of soapsuds wend their way down his back,
slithering into the crack of his ass... and I swallowed hard.

	Wow, most boys his age didn't care to exhibit their bodies in a
public shower, but this one I already knew was quite different. His name
was Jackie Bowman and he was fifteen, I had already picked him out from the
herd for his exceptional beauty.

	I couldn't help but notice the boy on my first day of work, his
dirty blonde hair was almost long enough for us to make him wear a bathing
cap in the pool, but we didn't. He had piercing green eyes, capped with
long flowing lashes, a combination of features that were almost feminine,
but no one ever suggested that to him.

	We all thought of him as a rough kid, juvenile delinquent and
misfit were just some of the words the staff all used to describe
him. Somehow his demeanor commanded our respect so it was hands off. I had
watched him swim and thought his body had potential, and I don't mean for
the backstroke.
      Oh man, now I would have to add those sweet ass cheeks to my list of
descriptive words about Jackie. He continued humming to himself as he
washed the lather off his body. I began to notice a few scars here and
there on his back and legs and was wondering what that was all about when
he suddenly turned.

      It was one of those beautiful moments you want to always
remember. His body slowly spinning, shaggy hair dripping water, a foot
lifting off the floor in slow motion and his mouth slightly open taking in
the warm water from the shower. His eyes were closed, head leaning back so
seductively, oh yeah. My head swam and then I realized he was looking at
me, his eyes wide open above a silly grin. I couldn't pretend I hadn't been
standing there watching him, so I smiled back.

	"Hey, Jackie," I said. Like duh?

	"Hi, Chris," he replied, "what's up?"

	"Nothin, I just heard somebody humming, why so happy? Did you get
laid last night?"

	I didn't get much further in this inane conversation before Jackie
turned fully towards me and I got a full frontal view of his crotch. Holy
shit, his penis seemed huge, the biggest one I've ever seen. I know he saw
my reaction and was probably used to being stared at by now. There was no
way out of it, he knew, I knew, etc...I could only respond.

	"Holy shit, man...is that all you?"

	I was surprised when he blushed, a reaction I would never have
expected from him.

	"Yeah, it's all me," Jackie said.

	"God, the girls must go crazy over that," was all I managed.

	"You'd think so, huh?" he replied, "but they don't."

	I had to change the subject and escape, my cock was about to bust
through my bathing suit. Fortunately for me, the low cinderblock wall
across the entrance to the showers hid my crotch from his view.

	"Hey, let's play cards later if you got the time," I said.

	"Sure," he replied.

	"Bye," I yelled, forcing myself to turn away from the unbelievable
sight he presented.

	Oh how fucking incredible, it was huge and I knew right then, I had
to have it. As Jackie was finishing his shower, I locked myself in one of
the bathroom stalls and pulled on my cock. And as I shot my wad down the
toilet bowl I heard his humming resume.

       Jackie was everything I liked in looks and body type. That cock was
scary, but I just wanted to see it shoot. But he was so rough; at least
that's what I had been told. There was no way I'd ever get that up my rear,
but then maybe I'm getting ahead of myself.

      	Jackie was probably straight, but there was always a
possibility. Fifteen-year-old boys were the horniest creatures on earth. I
was left with only one thought...all I can ever do is try.

	We played cards that afternoon and for several days thereafter,
poker was a big game around our club. A little five or seven card stud just
took a good memory, knowing when to fold and when to bluff, I did well and
to my surprise, so did Jackie.

	Generally, we talked very little about our respective lives. I knew
what I was hiding but what about him? I had looked his family up in the
club records, a mother and sister were listed but no father or brothers and
that told me a lot.

       Jackie seemed to accept my companionship over the next several
weeks, seeking me out whenever he came to the pool. But if there was ever
going to be any progress in our relationship I needed to get him away from
here. I suggested we go to the movies together, but he refused. Unlike most
kids around us in this fairly affluent neighborhood, Jackie was broke all
the time. We had played cards but never for money, and the movies cost
three dollars back then.

	Realizing his dilemma, I offered a trip to the drive-in theatre
across town, telling him I would pay the admission fee but he would have to
get us some beer, we struck the bargain. That Friday night, I stopped by
his house and found him sitting on the front steps waiting for me.

	He looked so different in street clothes, like he had chosen
carefully for...dare I say it, our date?

	"Hey, nice shirt," I told him.

	"Thanks. My mom's gone out for the night too," he said, offering me
a paper bag," got the beer real easy."

	"Time to party," I said, and we were off.

	The movie was nothing special but being there with Jackie sure
was. I gave him money to get us some popcorn and after he left I lay my
hand on the seat, feeling his warmth lingering there. My cock immediately
got hard and I began wondering how to take the next step. But did I really
dare?

	Making a sexual move his way might spell disaster to the budding
acquaintance and possibly even cost me my job, I couldn't risk that. I
wanted to grab him, hug him and tell him I cared, just to see what would
happen, but I didn't.

	Our friendship went on this way throughout the month of June and
soon we were approaching the Fourth of July, a big weekend around the
club. For some reason Jackie seemed focused on the fact that we would be
back in school in only two months. He'd barely past into ninth grade, he
confided, and wasn't sure that the upper school was going to be any
different.

	I was now a junior and looking forward to graduation with college
beyond, he had no such ambitions. I felt like I wanted to control him,
force him to do better. Selfishly I thought it would bring us closer
together. Well, damn, something had to, I was becoming extremely
frustrated.

	The Fourth was a Thursday and the pool was jammed with kids and
parents, but no Jackie. I missed him but would have been too busy to pay
him much attention anyway. That evening before the fireworks started,
Jackie wandered in, he was stoned. We sat together watching the boomers
shooting off from the park across the street. It was all made more
wonderful because he sat beside me.

      It was after ten o'clock before Jim finally sat down to count the
cash we took in for guest services and concessions that day, it had to be
quite a chunk of money. Jackie and I had just finished a walking tour of
the fence line in preparation for closing up and he had followed me back to
the office. There was a good sized pile of cash sitting on the desk and Jim
put his hand over it when we suddenly appeared at the door. I saw his
startled reaction and turned on Jackie, telling him to wait outside for me.

      The normal routine was to bank on Fridays so Jim had to either take
the moneybag home or hide it somewhere. I was called away at that point to
let one of the other guards out the front door and while I was distracted
Jim took the bag and walked out.

      I left the office a few minutes later, intent on finishing the normal
closing routine by turning down the chlorine flow in the filter
room. Glancing across the snack bar area, I saw Jackie sitting on a lounge
chair in the back row near the fence. I knew from that angle he could see
across the lawn into the filter room and he was watching that doorway
intently.

      I rounded the corner and caught a glimpse of Jim shoving the bank bag
in between two cinder blocks against the wall, a poor hiding place but then
he used it all the time. I changed course and slipped through the back door
of the snack bar, I didn't want Jim to see me.

	I could still see Jackie sitting out there on the lawn watching Jim
in the filter room. Shit, shit, shit...now he knew where the money was
stashed, this was going to become a problem.

	We closed the pool as usual and I offered Jackie a ride home, but
almost casually he declined.

	"So, what are you gonna do this evening?" I asked.

	"Thought I might go and see Mickey, maybe he has something new,"
Jackie replied.

	Mickey was Jackie's drug dealing friend. At least he had been
honest with me from the beginning, he got high. I had tried it too but
found it got in my way as a swimmer and made homework totally impossible to
accomplish. Still, Jackie and I had toked up a few times that summer
already. The boy was my worst influence in that regard. But now our
friendship had a different problem, I knew the deal with Mickey for tonight
was a lie.

	"Cool," I said, disappointed as hell, "let me know if it works
out."

	"Alright," Jackie replied, "later."

	As he sauntered off across the parking lot, I walked to my car. Our
relationship was about to change, he was gonna force me to confront
him. All I could think about was how to stop him, prevent the theft and
still salvage our friendship.

	I drove around the block and parked behind the junior high school,
my car hidden from view amongst the bushes. The sky was pitch black as I
calmly walked back down the hill and across the playing fields. Working my
way through the forest of trees, I came upon the fence bordering the pool
compound.

      The club covered a pretty good-sized area with some tennis courts and
picnic sites inside the fence. Across the lawn I could see the back door to
the office and watched the lights go out as I arrived.  Jim was always the
last man out.

      My heart was pounding in my chest as I crept along the fence watching
for signs of Jackie. But it was so dark I didn't think there would be a
chance of him seeing me here. I found myself at the side gate and slipped
my key into the padlock, the well-oiled mechanism snapped open
silently. Easing my way through the gate, I locked it behind me and
followed the fence into the trees, down towards the dark rectangle of
water.

      The best possible place to hide was right out in the open, just like
Jackie had done when observing Jim hide the moneybag. The lounge chairs
were formed up in neat rows and I chose one at the far end away from the
pool and filter room, deep in the shadows.  Now all I had to do was
wait. Jackie would be coming after that money, there was no doubt in my
mind.

       The boy had seemed almost desperate these past few weeks, moody and
angry when I paid for our fun times. I asked him if he had ever considered
getting a job after school or on weekends. He laughed real hard as if I was
kidding. No, he told me, he had tried that and no one wanted to hire just
another kid. I suspected that the problem lay with Jackie and not the
potential employers. He wasn't making life easy for himself.

	So now here I was, expecting Jackie to become a stupid thief. Maybe
he'd been doing it all along, but I'd never heard a whisper about his
stealing anything. It didn't add up, he was broke all the time; he couldn't
be a very successful thief. I had no real proof Jackie was going to break
into the filter room, just a very bad gut reaction to the whole
situation. I hunkered down in the chair and waited...and waited.

	I had been there almost two hours and it was past midnight, where
was he? Maybe I was wrong, and then I heard the chain link rattle about
fifty feet away from where I sat. There was a small group of newly planted
trees down there, just above fence height and much too close for good
security.

	It had been my logical choice for an entry point and it seems to
have occurred to Jackie as well. I saw a dim form reach a leg across from
one of the young trees to the fence and then his other leg followed. Now he
had to push off the tree to jump inside and as he did the branch snapped.

	I saw him fall, not outside or inside the fence but right onto the
tripled strands of barbed wire across the top. I winced, that had to
hurt. I could see him stuck up there, struggling in vain to raise his body
off the sharp points of the wire, he was in a hopeless position and it was
time to make my move.

	I walked down the row of chairs, stopping at the nearest picnic
table to grab a bench. I planned to use the wooden rungs on the bottom as a
ladder to reach the stranded boy. As I approached the fence Jackie sensed
my presence and stopped his struggles.

	"Ok," I said, "just stop moving around, you'll only cut yourself
up. Let me get up there with you and take your weight off the wire."

	"Shit," Jackie replied, "I'm already cut. Ouch, damn it to hell,
stupid fuckin tree."

	"Hold still," I said.

	I propped the bench against the fence and scrambled up the back,
standing on the upper legs. I felt like a mountain goat perched up here,
there was no room to stand at all. I put a foot on the fence and felt the
wire hard against my bare leg. Now I stood over Jackie and taking his right
arm off the wire I put it around my neck. His left hand was holding his
balance, but I knew he would have to eventually let go and then we both
might fall.

	"Pull yourself up with your right arm," I commanded. Jackie did as
he was told and I took his weight. His right leg was inside the fence and I
pushed it over so he could feel the bench legs under him. He shifted his
weight slowly and we were now hugging each other, his face against my
chest. I smelled the pungent marijuana smoke in his hair, it was pleasant
but his sweat quickly began soaking into my T-shirt.

	"Alright, good," I said, "now shift completely onto your right
foot, careful now, I'm holding up your body so you can lift your left leg
over the fence. Good, swing it over. Now I'm gonna lower you down on the
bench..." and that was when the legs on the bench snapped.

	I pitched headfirst towards the lawn, tucking myself into a ball
and hitting the grass with a roll. It was total reflex, the moves learned
on a diving board and somehow I ended up standing on my feet. My shoulder
hurt a bit but I was more worried about Jackie. He lay sprawled in the
grass, pieces of the bench around him and I could hear him laughing.

	"Oww, I'm dead," he groaned.

	"Are you alright, didn't break anything did you?" I asked.

	"No, but my leg is cut up pretty good, thanks for rescuing me."

	I let him lay there for a few minutes, giving him a chance to
realize just why I was here in the first place. But I could see blood
seeping into Jackie's jeans and I finally became concerned that he might
have done himself considerable damage.

	The pool area was too dark to examine the wounds so I thought we
should take it inside the office where I had access to a first aid kit.

	"You're still bleeding, can you feel the wound?" I asked.

	"Wound? Hell, that fuckin wire just about tore my leg off. I'm
lucky my dick was down the other side or..."

	"Yeah," I answered, "let's go before you bleed to death."

	He hobbled across the grass towards the deck. I felt our friendship
had been betrayed, shit, the little bastard had come to rip off the money,
I just knew it. He must have read my mind as I was unlocking the door to
the office. Reaching in, I threw the light switch and both of us squinted
in the sudden glare of the florescent tubes.

	"I guess it would be pretty lame to tell you I just hopped the
fence to swim," Jackie said.

	"True," I replied. "Look, we both know why you came here tonight so
let's not fool ourselves. It's plain wrong to steal and you're gonna have
to explain all this to me at some point, but I need to dress those cuts
first."

	Jackie plopped himself down on the long bench running along the
wall. I could see the rips in the left leg of his jeans, long tears that
ran all the way up to his crotch. I tore one of the holes a little wider
and was presented with a nasty shock at the severity of the wound.

	"Oh man," I said," that's bad, we better get you over to the
emergency room, you'll need stitches on that one."

	"No way, just put a band aid on it," Jackie said, "I ain't going to
no hospital."

	"I'm serious, it's cut real bad. I have to stop the bleeding right
now. Take the jeans off so I can get at that big cut."

	I turned to the first aid cabinet for some gauze and whatever
pressure bandages I could find. The shelves were loaded with all kinds of
goodies I could use. The Red Cross First Aid certificate I held would now
get its first real workout, the boy was lucky in that respect. I turned
back and Jackie was still just sitting there.

	"Hey, drop the pants man, you're bleeding and I have to put a
bandage on it."

	"Uh...I don't have any underwear on," Jackie replied.

	"What? Hell, man, I've seen your cock before. It's really big; I
already know that, OK?"

	I stacked the gauze pads on the desk and opened a bottle of
hydrogen peroxide. From the corner of my eye I watched Jackie shuck off his
jeans. At first, the wounds took my attention and I watched as the blood
smeared across his thigh began to run down his leg. But his cock soon began
to distract me; it was beginning to get hard. I began to think this little
encounter was just the icebreaker I needed, but like it or not, I needed to
fix those wounds.

	Jackie resumed his seat, hands in his lap holding his cock over to
one side. The major bleeder was small, a puncture wound caused by a sharp
barb. I wadded several gauze pads together and pressed them down over the
flow of blood. Thank God he hadn't severed an artery.

	"Give me a hand," I said. Taking Jackie's left hand, I guided it
down on the gauze. A good rule I had learned in first aid was to get the
victims involved in helping themselves. "You keep pressure on that one
while I touch up the cuts."

	I could see two other scratches, one that ran across his thigh
which wasn't too bad and the other which ran up towards his crotch...way up
there. He was gonna get real uncomfortable when I started swabbing that
close to his balls. I almost grinned as I put some peroxide on a pad and
began to clean the blood away. Jackie flinched at my touch but said
nothing.

	"When's the last time you had a tetanus shot." I asked.

	"Last year when I crashed and burned on my bike. You remember, I
broke my left arm and was all cut up." Jackie emphasized his point by
showing me the scars on his arm.

	"Sorry, I didn't know you then. But now you've fucked up your left
leg. Damn, your poor body has seen some damage," I said.

	"Yeah," he laughed, "guess I'm lucky to be around."

      I began to clean the second wound, moving the peroxide covered pad
higher up into his crotch. This cut was at least a six inches long and got
deeper as I worked higher, he was lucky the barbs hadn't cut up his
balls. Jackie shifted his baggage out of the way to give me a little more
room to work but it just wasn't enough.

	"I still can't get at the cut," I said, "you'll have to hoist that
pole out of the way a little more and spread your legs."

	Jackie smiled as he reluctantly complied. I swabbed away, my hand
so close to his erection when I realized, I was holding my breath.

	"Enjoying the view?" he laughed nervously.

       His cock was in a severely erect position now; I mean a real
ten-inch stiffie, the biggest damn thing. What a piece of work, my cock had
hardened in reaction.

	"Shit, the damn thing's so big it's blocking my light. Spread those
legs more, will ya," I laughed.

	Jackie might have been embarrassed but I was in heaven as I swabbed
back up his leg with the gauze pad. The back of my hand kept bumping into
his balls and the edge of my hand was only the barest fraction of an inch
away from his sweet little pink hole. My cock was straining at the crotch
of my shorts but I didn't dare rearrange my package, it would just have to
suffer.

      I lay some antibiotic cream on the minor cuts, taking my time and
enjoying his discomfort. Finally I applied a dressing and went back to the
big wound.

	"This does need stitches," I repeated.

	"No hospital, I told you. Isn't there something you can do?" Jackie
asked.

	"I could put a couple of butterfly bandages on it but I'll have to
change the dressings every day and it will leave a bad scar. I'm more
worried it might get infected."

	"Fuck the scar; you think I worry about scars? Just do it any way
you can."

	I cut four butterfly strips and placed them over the wound, piling
on the antibiotic cream and covering the whole with another
dressing. Jackie's cock remained hard through the whole procedure and I
kept bumping into the base of it as I worked. As I went back to check the
other dressings I spread his legs a little further than before, exposing
more of that little pucker in his butt.

	"You really are enjoying this, aren't you?" Jackie said. "I got to
admit you seem to know what you're doing."

	"Yeah, well I wonder about that sometimes," I replied.

        Now my own cock was absolutely raging in my shorts and I was in
real pain down there. What could I do? Did I dare stand up?

        "It looks good now," I said.

        "Thanks, Doc," Jackie said, "I owe you one for this."

	Jackie's leg was covered in bandages and he looked rather pathetic
sitting there with his hands covering his crotch, like there was any way he
could really cover up that enormous cock.  I took his head in both my hands
and stared him in the face. We were closer now than we had ever been
before.

	"What the hell am I going to do with you, Jackie boy?"

	"What do you want to do?" he replied, his eyes wandering down to my
crotch. "That stiffie in your pants sure tells me you have something on
your mind besides first aid."

	"You think I want to have sex with you, is that it?" I blurted out

	"Well don't you? I thought you did...you're gay aren't you?"" he
asked.

	"I would, if you were into it," I replied, "but I thought you
weren't interested, that's why I never brought it up."

	There was a dreadful silence between us. The boy just sat there,
his legs spread, his cock sticking straight up. It was an awkward moment
for us both.

	"I've done it before," Jackie finally said.

	"Huh?" I said stupidly.

	"I said, I've had sex with a guy...a long time ago." Then he
smiled, "I've never told anyone that before, but you sort of have me at a
disadvantage right now."

	"Why are you telling me this?" I asked.

	"Because you seem to care about me...and nobody else does."

	I got up and sat next to him on the bench, not caring anymore that
he would see my erection. I put my arm around his neck, leaned forward and
softly kissed him on the cheek. He smiled and then reached his arms out to
touch me.

	"I'm not gay, you know," Jackie said. "I'm just lonely."

	"I care about you, Jackie," I said quietly into his right
ear. "You'll never be lonely with me around."

         I stroked the hair on the back of his neck and felt his arms reach
around my waist and hug me back. Then I felt his fingers grasp at the waist
of my shorts.

	"Take them off. I don't want to be the only naked guy in the room,
ya know?" His fingers tugged on my shorts so I pushed them down around my
ankles and stepped out of them.

	Jackie stood up, a flash of pain showed momentarily on his face. I
knew those cuts had to hurt every time he moved. He pulled me up to my feet
and now we were standing there, crotch to crotch, cocks rubbing against
each other. I stared into his eyes for a while, my hands roving, fingers
caressing the smooth skin on his chest.

	"What would you like to do?" Jackie asked.

	"Whatever you want," I replied.

	"I don't think I'll be very good at this," he said.

        "Then I'll make it easy for you," I replied.

        Jackie lay down on the bench and I grasped his cock guiding it
towards my mouth. My lips kissed the head and I felt it throb at my
touch. Running my tongue down the shaft I sucked on his balls, first one
and then the other. I couldn't believe there was any way this was going to
work, his cock looked too huge to fit in my mouth. It would certainly choke
me if I tried to swallow it,but I had to try.

       At first the head was followed by two, then four inches of his
meat. Damn, I wasn't even halfway there and my mouth was full. I felt his
hand on the back of my neck, stroking my hair and gently pushing me down,
urging me to take in more. I sucked for several minutes and then came up
for air, this was the most difficult blowjob I had ever givn, but then I
really didn't have much experience at this at all.

	"You don't have to take it all, you know," Jackie said.

	"What ever made you think I could? Has anyone ever..."

	"No," he said.

	"Have you ever been able to put that all the way..."

	"No," he said. "I've never, OK? Oh man, why am I telling you these
things?  I've never done it with a girl, but I tried. Maybe you think a big
cock is an advantage, huh? But it never did me any good, they always get
scared."

      "If you're so honest with me about certain things, why didn't I know
you were gonna rip off the money?" I asked. My hand firmly held his cock
and I watched as a pearl of pre-cum oozed from the tip.

	"I just couldn't tell you, Chris. I know you're my friend, but I
couldn't because...maybe I like you, ya know?"

	I hoped he was telling me the truth now as my lips closed back
around his cock. I went down for two strokes then pulled off.

	"Does this mean you actually wanted to have sex with me?" I asked.

	"Lord, you ask the dumbest questions, what are we doing right now?"
Jackie laughed.

	"Well I'm sucking your dick, and you?"

	"Oh, yeah. Look, I don't think I could handle...I just can't,"
Jackie said, "I'm sorry."

	"Don't be, we'll work something out."

	I went back to his cock for a while, thinking the whole time about
what I could do to make this a two way street. I was flat out scared to let
him fuck me with that enormous cock but I was considering it. I was still
trying to get more of the damn thing down my throat when I thought it might
be easier the other way round so I pulled away again.

       "Oh man, why did you stop?" Jackie said.

       "I could take more if the angle was better," I said. "Get up on your
hands and knees and let me slide under you."

       Jackie was stiff from his injuries but he complied. I slid under his
body and lay there with his cock dangling in my face. With my head tilted
back his cock slid in easier and he soon caught the rhythm of face fucking
me.

       "Oh...oh, that feels so fucking good," he moaned.

       At least I'm doing something he likes, I thought. My right hand slid
down to my stiff cock, I wanted to get off when he did. I pulled on myself
for several strokes then felt Jackie pull my hand away and replace it with
his own. So he can do something at least, and I tried to take another inch
of his meat down my throat.

	Our sex was amazingly slow and easy. I'd waited so long for this
moment and was in no hurry for it to end. Jackie seemed to enjoy the pace
and copied my rhythm, his hand working miracles. I ran my hands across the
back of his legs, mindful of the bandages, seeking out his buns. I caressed
those muscular globes and he seemed to like that so I took it one step
further and began to rub the edge of my thumb along the crack of his ass
while my hands squeezed his cheeks.

	"God, I love it when you touch me there," Jackie said.

	I took that as a go ahead and he let me push the tip of my thumb
into his moist hole. I could feel his assault on my throat becoming more
intense. His hand was still doing that slow jerk on my cock and then I felt
his lips. He kissed my navel and began licking my stomach, each lash of his
tongue bringing him closer to my crotch. I was hoping he would, maybe he
had changed his mind, oh please...

	I felt his hand stop and then his tongue lapped on the head of my
cock, timidly at first and then big broad licks that made my meat swell. He
was tasting my pre-cum, and liking it.

	"Don't cum in my mouth, OK?" he said.

	"Umm k," I mumbled around his cock.

      His lips found the courage and he began to suck me in earnest. I
renewed my efforts on him and he took up the challenge. I had almost two
thirds of him stuffed down my throat now and felt him work his own way down
my cock until he gagged. He backed off a little and we went for the finish
line. I could feel the swell of his tide rising up and knew I was about to
drown in his cum.

      "Oh God...I'm cuming," he said in warning.

      But I didn't care, I wanted it. Jackie's pumping increased its pace
and then stopped abruptly, a split second of calm before the eruption, and
damn did he ever come.

      The sudden gush of juice in my mouth was overwhelming. I felt it fill
the cavity and I snorted a breath through my nose and swallowed. He kept
coming and filled me up again, the overflow drooling down my cheeks, I
swallowed again.

      I suddenly realized that he was still sucking his heart out on my
cock and I was about to burst in his mouth so I pulled it out. His hand
grabbed my cock and pumped, causing the explosion that sprayed cum all over
my chest and stomach. Finally I milked the last drops from the tip of his
cock, licking up the remains of his sweetness. Wow, it had never been like
this before.

      "Awesome," Jackie said as he painfully stood up beside the bench. I
was trashed, exhausted and thrilled all at the same time. Jackie reached up
and pulled a towel down off one of the hooks on the wall.

      "Here, you're gonna need this," he said, dropping it on my chest.

      "Thanks. Damn, it feels like I just did the two hundred meter
butterfly in two minutes," I said.

      "So before you ask," Jackie said, "I don't know why I did it. Thanks
for not getting off while I was doing it, I thought you were gonna
explode. I probably would have barfed my brains out if you had."

      "I was thinking about drowning in your cum, I almost forgot where I
was," I laughed.

      "God, how can you do that? I mean, doesn't it taste awful?"

      "It's only protein and you taste sweet," I said.

      "Oh thanks, so you think it's candy, is that it?" Jackie asked.

      "It's not the taste but the volume that kills me. You shot off like a
fire hose, and it went down so fast I hardly had a chance to think about
the taste." I said.

      "Well don't expect me to want a taste anytime soon, OK?" Jackie said.

      "Does that mean there'll be a next time then?"

      Jackie blushed, "Yeah...maybe."

      That night our relationship did change, and so did Jackie. He
admitted the money was meant to repay me for all I had done for him. He
didn't need money to make me happy, his body was more than enough to even
the score. We never mentioned the attempted theft again.

      Within days of the fence climbing Jackie was in the hospital under
observation with a severe infection to the deep wound in his thigh. It
wasn't like I hadn't warned him, now he had developed a fever so they gave
him antibiotics and kept him in bed. While he was cooped up I decided to
take the boldest step of our relationship so far.

      The pleasant looking woman who answered the door at Jackie's house
that morning was in her early-forties and I could see Jackie in every
feature on her face, it made the conversation easier.

      "Hello," I said, "I'm Jackie's friend Chris. I'm going to make an
attempt at tutoring him and was wondering if I might get some of his notes
from last year?" My cock wasn't as big as Jackie's, but I had bigger
balls. Know what I mean?

	"Tutor?" she replied, "I didn't know he wanted a tutor, what's this
all about?"

	I sat in their living room and told her a bit about me and then
what I had hoped to accomplish by being his tutor on the more difficult
parts of his schoolwork. After all, we were going to be in high school
together and I'd already taken many of the courses he was about to face.

      She knew my name and thanked me for pulling Jackie off the
fence. Seems his version had been that he was chasing a ball when he got
tangled up in the wire, I didn't blink and agreed it was an unfortunate
accident. I could see she still wondered if I could teach the boy anything,
being that I was only a year older myself. But when she showed me Jackie's
room, for the first time I got to see what I was up against.

      I had expected to see his room trashed with clothes on the floor and
piles of stuff everywhere like a typical boy's room. Instead I was stunned
by the way Jackie chose to keep his private domain. The well made bed was
surrounded by neat shelves of books, everything looking like it had
recently been dusted. In fact it looked like my mother had been in here
five minutes ago.

      "Oh wow," I said.

      "Yes, isn't it amazing?" his mother said, "Jackie is a very organized
young man."

      I went over to the shelves above the desk and there in a neat row
were all his notebooks, each labeled with the topic printed on the spine. I
picked out his ninth grade English and math notes but I was still confused,
I just had to ask her.

	"Mrs. Bowman, why do you think he does so poorly in school? I don't
organize my work half this well and I'm an A student."

	"I can't answer that one, Chris. I work so many long hours and
never get the chance to help Jackie with his schoolwork, he's usually in
bed by the time I get home. It's all I can do to feed this family and pay
the bills with my husband gone.

	"He died five years ago, a car accident. I don't know if I should
be telling you this but he wasn't a good father. Jackie's got his temper,
I'm afraid, it's gotten him into some trouble these past few years."

	"I've never seen him lose his temper around me, maybe he's
changed?" I suggested.

	"I hope so," she replied. "Look, you're a good boy to be taking an
interest in Jackie. He doesn't have many friends that I approve of. I know
he got into smoking pot a few years back and I don't know how to control
that. Not to change the subject, but would you like a Coke?"

 	I sat at the kitchen table with this woman, old enough to be my
mother and yet we seemed on equal terms here as she told me things about
Jackie I never imagined. They had moved to Hillandale about seven years ago
and Jackie had fit right in at the local parochial school. He was almost
the best kid in his class and even won several academic awards, I was
stunned...what had happened?

       But about that time Jackie's father lost his job. He started
drinking and the abuse began towards the boy and his sister. Jackie was
just a little boy; he couldn't understand why his father would beat him for
the most trivial things. The emotional separation between father and son
developed rapidly and Jackie became a discipline problem at school.

	"Jack tried to control his temper and wanted to be a good father
but just lost it. He went through a series of nothing jobs and he tried but
just couldn't keep it up. Then the accident happened, he was drunk, hit a
tree and we were left alone and broke. I'm sorry, Chris. I'm not sure why
I'm telling you all this."

	"Because we both care about Jackie," I said. Now why did I say
that?

	She smiled at me, and for a moment I saw the defeated look leave
her eyes, replaced by a sincere twinkle of happiness.

	"I'm glad we had this chance to talk," she said.

	"You haven't told me why," I said, "what made it necessary for
Jackie to need a tutor?"

	"I think he'd better be the one to tell you. I don't think I know
the whole story and maybe I never will. Just being able to tell you what
happened the past five years won't give you the reasons for things to have
happened the way they did. Only Jackie can tell you that. You're a charming
young man, Chris. I think Jackie just might open up to you."

	With those words still ringing in my ears, I drove home and sat at
my own desk. Opening his English notebook, I was shocked by how different
the pages seemed in contrast to his room. The inside cover was scrawled
with drawings of horrible creatures mixed in with sadistic phrases and odd
little scraps of music lyrics. The pages inside were no better and yet
there were real bits of poetry mixed among the trash. I focused on several
lines:

	In winter I walk, wending my way, willing the wind my words to
waft,
	towards eyes so blue and hair, like silken straw, that might my
heart beguile...

 	That was all, it was just a fragment. And like my knowledge of
Jackie, it was also incomplete. Yet it was so appealing, I tried to imagine
just what he might have been thinking about, was it a girl?  Damn it, I
needed to know. I looked in the math notebook and saw strings of endless
sums, some algebra equations and some of his geometry homework.

	I found a folded paper tucked away in the back pocket of the
notebook and spread it out on my desk. It was a math test, the score of
ninety-seven clearly written across the top, a grade point A in any
class. The whole was surrounded with little daggers and the word fuck
scrawled everywhere, I was more confused. Did the boy get angry because he
had scored high on the test, why was he trying to fail?

	Jackie was lying on the hospital bed dressed in a skimpy little
gown that did nothing to hide his private parts. The television was on and
some horrible soap opera was playing, he looked bored out of his skull.

	"Hey, Jackie man," I called out.

	"A human being," Jackie yelled, "are you real? I must be
hallucinating. The wonderful world of medicine is killing me, oh
please...help."

	"Aw, come on, it can't be that bad. Aren't there any cute little
nurses around here?"

	"Oh yeah, they love me, you bet," Jackie said as he started to
chuckle. "I freaked out this little assistant nurse last night. Put my
drinking straw in the piss bottle, then I called her in and told her the
water sure was salty tonight." He laughed, "Ha, ha, you should have seen
the reaction, she thought I was totally nuts. Hell, I am going crazy in
here; did you come to rescue me?"

	"I hear you'll be out of here tomorrow, can't you handle one more
night? Tell you what," I said, "I'll stay here late as I can, OK?"

	"Cool, but just wait until you meet stinky Fred over there in the
next bed. He farts all night long and it's killing me. What's in the bag?"

	"You," I said, "I went by your place and had a chat with your
mother. She gave me some of your study material, are you game to talk about
it?"

	Jackie gave me a dirty look, had I crossed the boundary line too
far? I didn't care at this point, I just wanted answers.

	"What did you tell my mom?" Jackie asked as I took a seat on the
bed beside him and began to open the backpack.

	"Told her I was going to be your tutor and she bought it. Now that
I've seen everything you've been hiding from me these past two months, it
seems I'm the one who needs an education. What am I missing, Jackie?"

	I put his English notebook on the bed and the math notebook on
top. I opened it and pulled out the folded test.

	"How about we start with this, what the hell does this all this
shit mean?" I asked.

	"I don't want to talk about it," Jackie said.

	"OK, but I have a nice steak and cheese sub right here in my pack,
it's yours if you start being honest with me," I said.

	"You bastard, where is it? Shit, all I get is jello and overcooked
vegetables in here, I'm starved."

	"First, why the test? Please." I asked.

	"Oh all right. I sit next to Mickey in geometry class, OK? He
snatched the test away from me and started in on how I was a brain. I just
fucked around on the paper, you know. I wrote all that shit to distract
him. He's terrible in math, man."

	"You did it to be dumb like Mickey? Come on, no way, Jackie. You're
very smart in math," I said.

      "Yeah, I guess I am," he replied.

      I gave him the sub in exchange for that little bit of truth. Between
bites of food, Jackie began to relax and I managed to get more information
out of him. Math was easy to him, the class boring, he wanted a bigger
challenge. The poem in his English book was about no one in particular,
only a play on words from something he had read. I was relieved.

	"The final question for the night," I said. "Will you let me help
you study?"

	"What?" Jackie replied," you wanna study right here?"

	"No, buzz brain, let's save the hard work until the doctor lets you
out."

	"OK, that's good. Honestly, the past two nights all I've been
thinking about is what we did last week."

	"Really? I've had nothing else on my mind but you too," I
confessed. "Will you let me tutor you this fall? You have to trust me; high
school is a lot harder. But you'll have some elbowroom since Mickey
probably won't even be in the same classes.

	"Now's the time to make the choice, Jackie. Three more years and it
will be all over if you want. But I'm betting if you work with me we'll be
in college together and...I'd really like that."

	His eyes were fixed on mine; all his doubts and fears were staring
out at me from those deep green pools. It was so hard for him to trust. I
felt like shaking him, screaming that he had to take this chance, not just
for himself but more importantly...for us. I knew this was going to be the
turning point that would make or break our relationship.

	"What would I have to do?" Jackie said quietly.

	"Work with me, not against me," I said. My heart was pounding, he
was going for it.

	"OK," he said, " I'll try studying with you."

	"Thanks, Jackie," I said, "you won't regret it."

	I leaned over and kissed his lips, he tasted like steak and
cheese. Jackie put his hand on my shoulder and leaned into me, pressing his
lips to mine, his tongue searching and then pushing into my mouth.

	I had kissed boys before but never like this, it was so passionate
and felt so right I almost fainted. Our lips parted and there was something
new in Jackie's eyes, a tenderness I'd never noticed before. We continued
talking for over an hour until old man Fred returned and the nurse came to
announce that visiting hours were over.

	"Gotta go," I said, "what time is your mom picking you up
tomorrow?"

	"They said I could leave about ten in the morning, she'll have to
drop me off at home and get back to work," Jackie said.

	"Want me to come by? I could bring you some lunch or something?"

	"Yeah, that would be cool."

	I shook his hand and gave his arm a squeeze before the nurse
dragged me out of the room. The whole ride home I was in a daze, there were
these strange new feelings embedded in me now, even breathing felt
different. I began to realize that my adolescent crush on him was over, I
had fallen in love.

      Having never been there before, I wanted to know what it meant. I had
a sudden wave of fear, maybe he doesn't love me, but how could I tell?
Would I have to ask him, should I tell him just how I feel? Angst mixed
with the love I felt for him kept me up half that night. I only fell asleep
after convincing myself that Jackie was lying in his hospital bed asleep,
warm and secure...waiting for me to love him.

	Fortunately a teenage boy like Jackie heals quickly and within
several weeks of leaving the hospital Jackie pulled off his bandages. The
scars would be with him forever, livid purple gashes all across his upper
thigh. He wouldn't be allowed in the water and the pool would be closing
for the season. His little stunt had cost him a good portion of summer
pleasure.

      He knuckled down in our afternoon sessions as we went over some of
his schoolwork from the past year. He was really very smart and I knew that
with the right encouragement he could go far. I enjoyed spending my free
time with him and never left without a passionate kiss on the lips, but
that was as far as it went. I knew if Jackie was thinking about sex with me
again that it would happen when he wanted it. I would wait, no matter how
long it took.

	Mickey was another matter entirely. He was the opposite of Jackie
boy in looks and personality. His long dark hair was always in tangles and
he dressed like he slept in his clothes, which was likely considering the
way he smelled. There was no way I was ever going to like him. He was the
competition for my precious time with Jackie.

       I arrived one afternoon after work to find the two of them down in
Jackie's basement, both of them high as kites on some new shit Mickey had
copped. Our study session for the afternoon was out of the question,
neither of them could even see straight.

      I was pretty disgusted but tempered my feelings since this was
Jackie's first major instance of backsliding. I didn't really hate
Mickey. He seemed just like any other fifteen-year-old burnout caught up in
something he was unable to stop. I didn't understand their friendship, the
only thing they seemed to have in common was drugs.

	"Hey, Chris," Jackie said, "you gotta try some of this hash, it's
so good. Mickey copped a couple of grams this morning, its wicked
powerful."

	"Yeah," Mickey said," do a couple hits man, goes straight to your
head."

	If Jackie felt guilty about blowing our study session he didn't
show it, but I wasn't about to be drawn into their game, I had other things
I could be doing. I sat with them a while and listened to some music,
watching them act the part of stoned out fools until I'd had enough.

	"I have to go home, Jackie, my dad has some stuff he wants me to
do," I said.

      So I just left them there. I walked out, feeling a little hurt and a
lot more jealous. My love for Jackie was still under wraps; I just didn't
have the courage to talk with him about how I felt. I was worried about his
relationship with Mickey, they had been friends for years and I was the new
guy. I wondered if he and Jackie had ever done it? Oh God, why did I have
to think about that?

	About eight o'clock that night I got a phone call, it was Jackie.

	"Look, I'm sorry, Chris. I didn't mean to wipe out this afternoon
but Mickey just showed up and I haven't been high in two weeks, ya know?

	"I'm not mad at you," I said, "it was just so unexpected and we
were doing so well."

	"Chris, stop right there. Look, I'm not going to blow it," Jackie
said. "You've been such a great help, I want to keep it up. This was just
one time when I needed to party, OK?"

	"I understand, Mickey still has quite an influence over you."

	"Is that jealousy I hear coming from you?" Jackie asked.

	"Probably," I said, "well, just a little."

	"What are you doing right now?" he asked.

	"Thinking about you," I blurted out.

	"Yeah? Well me too, can I see you tonight, like right now?"

	"Where? It's getting late but I'll come get you if you want."

	"Would you?" Jackie said. "There's something else I need right now
a lot more than drugs."

	"I'll be there in fifteen minutes," I said and hung up the phone.

	I told my mother there was a problem at the pool, some bullshit
story, and ran from the house. I drove like a maniac and pulled up in front
of Jackie's house twelve minutes later. He was sitting on the front porch
and instead of getting in the car he motioned me inside.

	"Mom's working late, she won't be home until after midnight. Want a
beer?"

	I could tell he was worried that he had offended me and was now
working every angle just to make amends. I sat on the bed in his neat
little room as he played some music for us.

	"Jackie..." I started to say.

	"No, let me talk first," he said. "I've been thinking about this
all day. I know you have a million questions, but if you let me talk I'll
tell you everything you want to know. But first, I want you to know the
thing with Mickey is over, I told him that today.

	"I can't party with him and keep my shit together, I know that
now. And yes, Mickey and I did it together before, a long time ago, but not
like you and I. We were just jerk off buddies, ya know, started when I
turned twelve and this thing began growing so big."

	I sat there nodding my head, we were on the verge of something
here, he wanted to do all the talking and I wasn't going to interrupt the
flow.

	"Mickey likes to get buzzed and then cum, hell, so do I, but I
don't need that kind of high anymore, at least not all the time. It's like,
I dunno, you made my head swim last weekend. You kissed me and I've never
felt anything quite like that before. Damn this is hard to talk about, it's
weird."

	"No it's not," I ventured, "I feel the same way, Jackie...I love
you."

	"Yeah, that's it...love," Jackie said. "I've never been there
before but now, damn...
 something about us feels so good."

	He sat beside me on the bed and said," Please, kiss me again."

	I did, the same passionate lip locking kiss that blew our minds
last week, with tongues and teeth and intense sucking of mouths. My head
swam, I felt weak and poured out all these feelings into Jackie as best I
could, wishing him to understand how deeply I felt. We came up for air with
a collective gasp.

	"Oh God," Jackie said, his hands still around my neck, "it is love,
isn't it?"

	"I want it to be, does that scare you? I mean loving a guy isn't
exactly something you can tell everyone about, is it?" I said.

	"I don't care," he said, "my heart pounds when we do that, it's
like a whole new kind of high. If that means I'm in love with a guy, then I
must be gay. Oh, I know there's so much I need to learn. But don't you like
hearing it? I love you, Chris."

	"And I love you too, but I don't think that automatically means
you're gay," I said.

	"I know where you're coming from," Jackie said. "I know gay sex is
about oral and anal sex and I have my hang ups on that but for a good
reason."

	"Is this the part where you tell me about the real Jackie, the one
you keep hidden in the back of your sock drawer?"

	"I guess it is time, isn't it? You said something about trust the
other day. I do trust you, more than anyone else in my life. But this is
gonna be hard...for the both of us."

	Jackie went into his closet and pulled down a box from the top
shelf. He sat it on his desk and removed the lid. The first thing he pulled
out was an old sweatshirt with the name Pinehurst emblazoned across the
front and everything became so much clearer to me.

	Every teenager in the state knew that dreaded name. The boy's home,
juvenile lockup, the horrible hell where anything could happen. Kids were
beaten there, raped there, and maybe even killed there, I was afraid Jackie
was going to tell me all this was true and more.

	"I think you already know my dad died when I was ten," Jackie
said. "He became a total bastard and I hated him, then he was gone. He used
to spank me with a wide leather belt; the buckle gave me some of the scars
on my back, not the bike accidents I used to tell everyone about. But even
though I hated him, when he died a little bit of me died with him.

       "I met Mickey shortly after that and we started doing drugs,
sniffing glue and all kinds of crazy shit. I even beat Mickey up once when
I was eleven but he actually forgave me. I still feel guilty about that, ya
know. It wasn't his fault, it was the glue. I just lost my head.

	"When I was twelve, my mom wouldn't let me go to an AC/DC concert
with Mickey so I ran away and that's when it all started going
downhill. The cops picked up Mickey, caught him with some weed and they
blackmailed him into telling them where I was hiding out.

	"I got nailed and the cops locked me up until my mom came to bail
me out. I was so dumb, so stupid, this is so embarrassing. I hit her,
Chris...right there in front of the cops I punched her in the face.

      "I know now I was all fucked up on drugs and somehow I blamed her for
my father's death. The cops just locked me up again and the judge sent me
to Pinehurst for six months just to teach me a lesson."

      And then Jackie's shoulders slumped, his eyes took on a far off look,
the memories were washing over him...and now he looked sad.

      "I bunked in a room with a thirteen year old named Phillip, nice kid,
just terribly scared like I was. He was just a bad thief and they'd given
him a two-year sentence his first time. I'd never done anything serious
with a guy before, except for jerking off with Mickey. But Phillip did
everything he could to please me and I learned the pleasures of sex with a
guy from him."

      "So you guys were lovers? What happened to him?" I asked.

      "I'm comin to that," Jackie said. "I did only ninety days at
Pinehurst and the judge let me out. My Mom sent me to a private shrink and
I told him everything, even about Phillip.

      "He was the first person to ever ask me if I had sexual feelings for
other guys and I choked. I said no, it was just there and we were horny and
that was that. I don't think he really believed me but we moved on to other
things. He was pretty good, I learned a lot about my feelings towards my
dad and we were making progress until the money ran out.

      "Six months after my last appointment with the shrink, Mickey and I
were arrested for stealing a car. He got a lawyer and I got a public
defender, so you know what happened. Mickey got off and I went back to
Pinehurst, my second term.

      "When I made it to population I went looking for Phillip but he was
nowhere to be found. A guy I'd known from before told me what had
happened. Phillip had been raped and killed himself in the shower room
three months before."

      "Oh God," I groaned.

      "Yeah," Jackie said. He looked so sad and yet there was no emotion in
his eyes, was he that devoid of feeling?

      "I lost it, Chris, just lost it. I did another six months in there
and swore I'd never go back. So far I haven't done anything else to get in
trouble, at least until I climbed that fence. But this summer has been so
different because you came along. I've been thinking about us a lot. I
wanted you to know that I'm willing to try having sex with you again. I
don't know if I'll be any good, but then I've never really been in love
before so maybe I will."

      "We don't have to go there right now you know. Tell me, did you love
Phillip?" I asked.

      Jackie sat for a moment thinking deeply. When he spoke I detected the
first real signs of emotion from him.

      "Yes, I think maybe did," Jackie said and he swallowed real hard. "He
didn't deserve to end his life like that; I should have been there to
protect him...I..."

      Then the tears came, softly rolling down his cheeks. He looked at me
and I saw the ends of his mouth turn down and he sobbed. It tore me to
pieces and I held him, feeling his tears splash down on my neck. He cried
so hard his entire body shook, but he needed to let out all the horror and
fear. For almost two years he had been carrying this secret around, it was
time to let go.

      I felt Jackie had paid me the highest compliment, he trusted me
enough to see him cry. I didn't know if I could have been so
self-assured. Holding this wonderful boy in my arms, my love for him grew
stronger.

      The sobs eventually subsided and yet he still held me tightly until I
took his head in my hands and kissed his tear stained cheeks.

      "Thank you," I said, "thanks for trusting me. It only makes me love
you more."

      "Oh God, sometimes you ask me the hardest questions. I haven't
thought about Phillip in almost a year, I've never told anyone the whole
story."

      "I'm glad you did, it explains a lot about you. Now I know why you
were so tight with Mickey and what it was that set you off. No kid should
ever have to go through what you have, it's been one long trip through
hell, hasn't it? But it's over now, I'm here for you."

      Jackie smiled and wiped the remaining tears from his face with the
back of his hand. God he was so cute like this. With his defenses down he
was so much more appealing than I had ever imagined. Something on my face
made him laugh right then, probably the adoration in my eyes; he pushed me
back on his bed and pulled his body over on top of mine.

      "We should have met years ago," Jackie said, "I feel like so much of
my life has been wasted not knowing..."

      He kissed and caressed me until we were both so turned on we couldn't
take our clothes off fast enough. Being here, totally naked with him was
such a thrill I had to control myself. I knew I would cum in a second if he
touched me in the right places. As it was, Jackie pulled off my shorts and
his mouth immediately sought out my cock.

      This fleeting thought just crossed my mind and I wish it hadn't, did
he love Phillip more than me? No, he couldn't have, I was sure. In
Pinehurst it was just two boys seeking an island of safety, caring for each
other amidst the insanity and brutality surrounding them, maybe calling it
love but never really knowing.

      Here? Well, Jackie chose me over Mickey, here we have love based upon
trust and understanding. This is real love, I'm sure, but I couldn't focus
on the thoughts any longer, Jackie was providing such heavenly
distractions.

      He was ambitiously working on my cock, his saliva drooling down the
sides, the whole of my crotch becoming wet when suddenly he stopped and sat
up. I thought it might be time to turn myself around and return the favor
but he had other ideas. He pushed my legs up in the air and began to tongue
my balls. He couldn't, he wouldn't, but he did and when that wet tongue
lashed down my scrotum and went straight up my asshole I groaned in
anticipation.

      Where the hell did he learn this, I wondered? He plunged in as deep
as he could until I felt his face pressing against my ass cheeks, his
tongue dancing in my anus. Oh God, I had never felt anything like this,
Jackie was driving me crazy. I knew where this was going and I was afraid,
he was just so damn big. But I wanted him, it would bond us forever.

      I reached down and pulled his head from between my legs, bringing his
face up to mine.

      "Fuck me, Jackie boy, fuck me hard," I pleaded.

      A smile split his face from ear to ear; he had been preparing my ass
for just that event. I don't think my ass will ever get used to the first
seconds of penetration, but this was the first time ever and my virgin hole
was about to be blown away. Feeling the head of his cock come up against my
ass, I tried to relax and let it flow into me. Oh sweet mother, it's gonna
hurt so nice.

      I felt a sharp stab of pain as his cock blasted through my sphincter,
pushing its way across the threshold and into my body. I wanted to scream
but I couldn't. I wanted him to fuck me, for love, for us, it couldn't seem
like anything else.
	He was watching my face intently, so I grabbed his head and brought
our mouths together. This close he couldn't see the tears in my eyes as he
slid further into me.

      "Oh God," I finally groaned, "it hurts so good...go deeper." Better
to get it over with right away.

      Jackie pushed slowly; he must have known how hard it was for me, I
was grateful. I felt like I had a bus parked in my butt. But as his cock
impaled my ass, it traveled across my prostate, deeper than anything had
ever penetrated me before and my body accepted him with shudders of
delight. The relaxation of my muscles saved the day and slowly the pain
eased away. I pushed back against him and felt his balls come to rest
against my ass; he was all the way in.

	"My God, you took it all," Jackie groaned.

	"Let's not talk now...just start moving," I hissed back.

      He started to shift his weight backwards and I felt like the Queen
Mary was pulling away from the dock, oh God. He slid about halfway out and
then started his return slide, his motions beginning to flow. I locked my
ankles behind his back and swung like a pendulum, slamming my ass down on
the spike impaling me.

      "God, it feels so good, I never knew..." Jackie moaned.

      "Hush, this is what love feels like," I whispered.

      Feeling him inside me, effortlessly impaling me with his pole made me
want to scream but I held back. It was hard work for us both; we got up a
sweat pretty quick. Jackie was panting while I gasped every time he slammed
it home. He started to grunt and I hoped this was a sign he was going to
cum real soon, my ass needed a rest. My cock was flopping around on my
belly and it felt like I might just blow off any second. Jackie was nodding
his head back and forth, whipping my face with his hair each time he
thrust.

      His body shuddered and I knew he was about to fill my ass with his
cum, but it didn't happen. Oh God, how long could he hold out? His face was
a mask of concentration covered in sweat, shit, he was holding back.

      "Fuck me, Jackie. Fuck me to death," I yelled.

      "Want me to let go?" Jackie said, grinning with pleasure at the
obvious desperation in my voice.

      "Please," I whispered.

      He thrust into me and stopped all motion. I could almost feel the
eruption building up and then he groaned, a long satisfying sound followed
by the blast of his cum pumping into me. His cock expanded with every spurt
and I felt every one of them splatter against the walls of my
intestines. He must have been saving it all for this moment because the
overload soon dribbled out and oozed down my ass cheeks.

      I released my ankles and collapsed with him lying on top of me. My
cock was left pressed between our bellies and it was still rock
hard. Jackie nibbled on my left nipple and licked his way down to my
crotch. He took my cock in his mouth and sucked slowly.

      "Oh, shit," I cried, "no...don't, I'm gonna cum."

      He had to hear me but he kept on, his tongue caressing the underside
of my cock until it swelled in his mouth. I was gonna blast so I tried to
pull it out. He held my balls and locked his mouth on the head of my
cock. Oh God, he wanted it. And I gave him my all, spewing forth a huge
stream of cum that blasted down the back of his throat. Jackie slid his
mouth down to the root of my cock, taking everything I had. Sweet mother,
he took it all and I felt him swallow. He backed off now, licking the last
remains of my cum off the tip and milking my cock with his hand to get the
last drops. What...why? How had he brought himself to do this?

      Jackie leaned forward and laid his head on my stomach. I felt my body
trembling from the rush of adrenaline. Running my fingers through his hair
I grabbed a handful and pulled his face up to mine and kissed him. I could
taste the remains of my juices on his lips as I held his face in my
hands. I stared into those loving eyes, still burning with desire and
passion.

      "Love makes me do strange things," Jackie said, "but I think you're
worth it."

      "We really are in love, aren't we?" I asked.

      "I haven't been able to think of anything else but you," Jackie
said. "That's why I waited to have sex until now; I had to know I wasn't
just kidding myself. I held back because I wanted to be sure it wasn't just
sex that motivated us to love each other."

      "I'm glad you did," I said, "there's so much more to us than sex. I
want to be there for you, Jackie. I'm gonna love watching us grown into
each other and I hope that takes forever."

 	"Yeah, we're gonna be at this a long, long time," he said.

      His hands grasped my shoulders and he kissed me again, sealing the
bargain. My body responded to his probing tongue and my cock stiffened
between us. Jackie pulled his mouth away.

      "My, my, ready again so soon?" he asked.

      "I'll always be ready when you are," I said.

      "Let's take a shower first," he suggested.

      When we returned to the bed, Jackie laid his shower fresh hair on my
chest and I inhaled his scent. I could have lay here with him forever
except that right now I wanted to taste his cock. I rolled over and began
to kiss his neck, working my way down his belly to find him erect and
waiting. I tongued the underside of his amazing cock; it was at least three
inches longer than mine. But that didn't bother me; I owned this one now
too.

	I finally had to pry it away from his belly so I could slide my
mouth over it. He moaned as I raked the head of his cock with my teeth. I
kinda figured he might like me to get a little rough with him sometimes. I
wormed my way down between his legs and knelt there so I could slide my
hands under his buttocks and squeeze those sweet cheeks.

      My tongue slid towards his balls and I sucked his sac, taking first
one and then both of his orbs into my mouth. Pulling back I stretched his
ball sac away from his body and then allowed them to escape from my
mouth. My spit gleamed on them nicely as they plopped back against his
crotch. I watched as a single thread of my spit drooled down the crack of
his ass and then I went after it.

      My mouth sought the little ridge of skin that ran like a highway
straight towards his puckered hole. Tonguing my way down the road I heard
him gasp as my mouth reached his back door. I didn't know if he would let
me go too far down here, but I wanted it so badly. I tongued a circle
around the hole, waiting to see how he would react. My reward came as
Jackie reached down and grabbed his ankles, hoisting his butt in the air
and opening his ass for my loving. I plunged my tongue into his hole and
burrowed my way inside.

      "Oh God," Jackie cried, "damn...that feels so good."

      My face was pressed against his crack, my tongue extended inwards as
far as I could reach. I brought my lips up against his ass and began to
suck, pulling the lips of his sphincter towards me.

      "Uhh, oh man," Jackie yelled, "what the hell are you doing to me?"

      "Sorry, does it hurt?" I asked, having to pull my face away for the
question.

      "God no, it feels awesome," he replied.

      I plunged back in and he continued to moan with the pleasure of this
new sensation. My fingers began to creep their way into either side of my
mouth, working the opening of Jackie's sweet hole. His muscles had relaxed
considerably and soon I had two fingers and my tongue in there. My eyes
strayed upwards and I found him looking down at me.

      I hesitated, he must know what I wanted and yet knew I couldn't bring
myself ask for it. I pulled my tongue away, leaving my two fingers inserted
and slipping around in the lubrication of my spit. Suddenly Jackie dropped
his ankles and sat up. He grabbed me and with a twist of our bodies I found
myself under him as he sat astride my chest, pinning my arms to the bed. He
looked down at me and began to laugh.

      "Oh Lord, it comes down to this, doesn't it? You bastard, that nasty
little tongue of yours has me on fire. It's making me burn to feel your
cock slamming up my ass."

      I looked up in amazement as Jackie pushed his weight down my chest
and across my stomach. My cock came in contact with his ass and I felt his
left hand guiding my cock up against his crack. Jackie squirmed a little
and I felt my cock sliding up the crack towards his hole and then begin
moving inwards, I held my breath. I was only hoping he wouldn't hate it,
but I knew he was giving himself to me even if he did.

       Once he felt the cock begin to enter him, Jackie pushed back against
it, allowing it to slide inside. A moment of pain registered on his face
but he was in full control, pushing against me, allowing the penetration
and my cock slid into him several inches. He began a slow bounce with his
hips, moving up and down, this had to be his show. His cock began slapping
me on the stomach with every move and I raised up a fraction each time,
pushing in with a little thrust of my own. Soon I was shoving myself into
him deeply, my hands around his waist, pushing him down with more force on
my cock until he took it all.

       "Oh that's so sweet," Jackie said, "fuck me, lover boy, fuck me
good."

       He grinned wickedly as I heard a groan of pleasure growl deep in his
throat. He changed the bucking motion into a grind, rubbing his ass into my
crotch with my cock shoved in to the hilt. I grabbed his cock, holding it
down on my stomach as it seeped his juices to lubricate my efforts. It was
just too good to last forever and I felt my cum swelling up inside, I was
panting severely now, trying to hold back.

       "Oh God, I'm gonna cum," I said loudly.

       "Do it," Jackie said," oh man, do it hard."

	Jackie's cock was hugely swollen and I knew he wasn't far behind
me. He pushed back against my cock, grinding his meat against my belly. I
grabbed his cock and gave it only a few strokes before it started to
pulse. He quickly beat me there, splattering my chest, my neck and even my
face.

	Gobs of his cum hit me with force as I slammed upward one last time
and exploded into him. We groaned together now as I pumped my cum into him,
bathing his intestines with my pearly liquid. He leaned back, and I
squeezed the last spurts from the tip of his cock onto my belly before he
collapsed in my arms.

	When his mom came home that night, Jackie and I were asleep in his
room, our bodies naked and entangled. I heard the bedroom door open and
gazed up at her, my eyes opened barely a slit. Damn, what fools we had
been. Then my heart leapt with joy as the most unexpected thing happened,
she smiled down at us.

       In the dim light from the hallway I watched as that smile slowly
spread across her face and her warmth seemed to radiate into me. She blew
us both a kiss and then turned, softly closing the door.

      Oh God, I realized, she knows and it doesn't matter. This woman and I
truly shared something in that profound moment of mutual understanding. We
loved him together, and with that discovery I learned that she only cared
about what Jackie needed...and now she knew it was me.