Date: Fri, 3 Dec 2010 14:29:19 -0800 (PST)
From: Doug Smith <das11111@yahoo.com>
Subject: The Move

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
This story is a work of FICTION. The events described have only occurred in
my mind.  Any similarities to actual events or persons are strictly
coincidental.

THIS STORY CONTAINS GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF CONSENSUAL SEXUAL ACTS
BETWEEN HIGH SCHOOL AGE MALES. IT IS INTENDED FOR A MATURE AUDIENCE
ONLY! IF YOU FIND THIS TYPE OF MATERIAL OFFENSIVE, OR IF YOU
ARE UNDER 18, OR UNDER THE LEGAL AGE TO VIEW SUCH MATERIAL THEN
PLEASE READ NO FURTHER.


The author retains the copyright, and any other rights, to this
original story.  You may not publish it or any part of it without
explicit authorization from me.

This story is kind of a prequel/sequel to another story I wrote
called The Diary which appears in the college section.  That
story is not complete but work should resume soon.  I have
much more written for this story. I say 'kind of' because this
story is being written after that story but is earlier in time.
I took some liberties with 'history' and also any current day
events that might be referenced.

PLEASE NOTE: Feedback, both positive and negative, is welcomed
and greatly appreciated. Please understand this is just a hobby
so please don't flame me too bad.  Please email das11111@yahoo.com
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-


Chapter 1

I was tired.  We just moved into our new house and all I had done was move
furniture, unpack boxes, hang pictures and pretty much anything else my
parents wanted me to do.  I hadn't even had time to unpack my own stuff not
that I really cared.  I had unpacked one box since I start school tomorrow
but everything else is still in boxes in the corner of my room.  I'm not
looking forward to school.  Plain and simple: moving sucks.  Starting over
at a new school sucks worse not that I've ever done it.  I've just known
other kids who have.  This move especially sucked since I knew my parents
did it because of me.

I looked at the boxes and thought 'fuck it'.  They're not going anywhere.
Besides, I wasn't even sure I wanted to unpack everything.  Some of it I
hadn't even wanted to bring but my parents insisted.  They said I might not
want things now but someday I might and I'd be sorry if I threw everything
out.  For the most part the box in question contains my karate trophies.
Karate was something I had done for ten years but now I didn't want
anything to do with it.

I had unpacked enough to start school so I just laid on my bed and stared
at the ceiling.  All I could think about was how fucked up my life is.  I'm
only sixteen.  I should be enjoying myself.  I should be having fun with
friends, playing sports even though I never played on a school team, and
doing all the things sixteen year old guys do.  I used to be like that.
Now I'm miserable.  It's like my life has been on auto-pilot and I'm just
going through the motions.  I know it's my fault.  I just can't get back on
track.

Everything was fine until a little over a year ago.  I was a typical
teenager.  I had a lot of friends, played my guitar and worked hard at
karate.  I did fairly well in school and even though I wasn't a genius I
did get good grades.  I also had Aaron.  He was my best friend.  I had
other friends but Aaron was special. We did everything together.  We had
been best friends all our lives.  He and I were born a day apart in the
same hospital and we'd been together ever since.

I was also gay.  I guess I still am or at least think I am.  I say think
because I haven't thought of a guy in that way for over a year.  In fact
I've never really thought about any guy other than Aaron like that.  I
mean, I looked at other guys.  I love how a hot guy looks but Aaron was the
only guy I ever wanted.

Girls?  Girls are okay.  A lot of my friends back home were girls but they
weren't girlfriends. I really didn't have any desire to have a girlfriend.
I did have sex with a girl once.  I know I shouldn't have but I did.  It
wasn't terrible but it wasn't toe curling either.  Now sex with Aaron?
That was toe curling but I'm getting ahead of myself.

My being gay might have been a problem for some best friends but it wasn't
for us.  I thought it would be.  I thought our friendship would be over if
he found out how I felt.  I didn't think he'd freak knowing I'm gay, he
wasn't that type of guy.  There wasn't a mean bone in his body. Knowing I'm
gay and that I fantasized about him?  I thought that could be an issue.

It's not like he didn't know I loved him.  I'd told him that, all the time.
He'd just say he loved me too.  I assumed he just said it because I did.  I
took it to mean he loved me as a friend and assumed he thought I meant it
the same way.  No matter how many times we both said it, it never sunk in.

Was I ever wrong.  Loving Aaron wasn't a problem at all.  That was because
he really did feel the same way.  Looking back it should have been obvious
but at the time, with both of us trying to fit in, we were blind to each
other's feelings.  Neither of us could see or could believe how the other
felt.

That all changed one night when he slept over.  How it happened isn't
important but suffice it to say that if life was good before we knew then
it was fantastic afterwards.

Once we knew how we both felt we were completely in tune with each other.
Any anxieties either of us felt about ruining our friendship evaporated.
There were no more secrets.  We could tell each other anything.  We could
practically read each other's minds.  We often completed each other's
thoughts or spontaneously said the same thing.  That kind of freaked our
friends out but we just smiled at each other.

I remember one time we decided to test how 'in sync' we actually were and
tried sparring blindfolded.  We always sparred together but being
blindfolded was definitely different.  We were in my backyard beside the
pool. Watching us must have been like watching Luke Skywalker trying to hit
that stupid ball in Star Wars.  It was fun since we knew each other's
moves.  Things got more difficult once we added different moves.  That's
when Aaron caught me in the balls.  I wasn't wearing a cup since we were
just fooling around and it hurt like hell.  He caught me square.

My mother had been watching.  At first she thought it was funny. She didn't
think it was so funny when she saw me go down holding myself.  That's when
she said to stop fooling around not that I was going to continue.  I really
didn't need my mother around at a time like that either.  She didn't know
what to do and it was pretty embarrassing.  Fortunately, Aaron had a way of
making things feel better but that was later ... in private.

Yes, life was good.  At least it was until the accident.  That's when he
went away.

'Went Away,' I frowned.  I can't even say he died and worse yet he died in
my arms.  When it happened it was like part of me died as well.  I wanted
my life to end too.  I wished it had. I even tried to end it a few weeks
later.  That's why I'm so fucked up now.  Everyone says I'm depressed.  I
know my parents are concerned.  They've tried to help but nothing has
worked.  I've even been in counseling for the last year.  Everyone says I
need to accept things and move on.  The problem is I can't.

I still can't believe my parents thought we had to move.  They didn't even
say anything until two days before we got on the plane. How fucked up is
that?  I didn't even have time to say good-bye to my friends, not really at
least.  Last week I was living my fucked up life just outside of Chicago
and now I'm here halfway across the country in cowville.  Maybe I shouldn't
call it that but that's what my friends in Chicago called it.  Cow
Hampshire to be specific.

It's actually New Hampshire and while there may be cows around I haven't
seen any.  Maybe they're up north.  We moved to southern NH which is just
an extension of Massachusetts.  There are malls, office buildings and
traffic.  There are no really tall buildings but it's still pretty urban..
We moved to a small town just outside a couple of larger cities.  They
aren't large by Chicago standards but they're good size.  I'm sure it's an
okay place but I don't understand why we're here.  My father just came home
and said we were moving.  He said he got transferred and didn't have a
choice.

I may be slow at times but I'm no idiot.  Actually, I'm not slow.  Like I
said, I get good grades.  I knew my father was a senior litigator in his
law firm.  He wasn't in charge of the department but that was because he
liked to spend his time on cases.  I don't believe they told him he was
being transferred.  If anything they would have asked and he would have
been given the option to say no.

It's not like it's even a better job.  The other night I heard a little of
what he said to my mother before they realized I was there.  He was a
senior litigator there and he'll be a senior litigator here.  He just said
there was an immediate need in the Boston office.

Money couldn't be the reason either.  We're pretty well off financially.
Both my parents are professionals.  My mother is a shrink, .... ah, sorry
psychiatrist.  She makes pretty good money.  Maybe not as much as my father
but I know she does okay.  I don't really know how much they make together
but I know money isn't an issue.

There is also my brother Scott.  Yeah, he's only seven but he had friends.
He was used to his school.  Why change all that so abruptly?

And then there are the Michaels.  They are Aaron's parents and my parents'
best friends.  Why would you leave your best friends if you didn't have to?

The only conclusion I came up with was that they did it because of me.
Maybe that's being self-centered but they've been telling me I need a new
start, to forget what happened.  I know they're upset I haven't been able
to accept things and move on.  I see this as their way of forcing the
issue.

I know they knew about moving long before they said anything.  They had to
have been planning it.  There is no way they could have done all this in a
week.  Maybe God works miracles in six days but it takes people longer.
How could they have a new house and everything moved in that time?  It's
obvious they didn't want to tell me beforehand and that pissed me off.

I'm sure they had all kinds of reasons why they didn't tell me.  Things
like: "It's for your own good."  ... "We didn't want to upset you." ...
"You need a new start."  ... "It would have been difficult saying good-bye
to your friends."  ... "We know it's difficult but it's time to move on."
Mostly I think they didn't want to deal with me being in a bad mood while
they were making plans.  Maybe that made it easier at the time but they're
going to have to deal with it now.

I know I'm sounding like a jerk.  I'm really not.  For the most part I'm a
good kid.  I don't give my parents trouble and I'm pretty clean cut.  I
don't have any piercings or tats and I don't drink or do drugs.  I guess
I'm weird compared to some of my friends.  Basically, I'm the type of guy
I'd like to date.  I take care of myself if you forget that little suicide
attempt right after Aaron died.  Good thing I didn't succeed.  I still
remember the look on Scott's face when I woke up in the hospital.

I also really do love my parents and know they love me.  We have a good
relationship despite everything that's been going on. They make sure I have
what I need but they don't spoil me.  Yeah, they gave me a jeep for my
sixteenth birthday but part of the deal was that I'd take my brother places
when he needed a ride.  I also had to help out more around the house.  I
didn't mind, I love my brother.  Scott is a great kid.  He might be a
little shit at times but there isn't anything I wouldn't do for him.

The thing is I thought I was doing better.  I was actually enjoying myself
when school started last month.  I was hanging out with my friends, working
out more and playing my guitar.  The only thing I wasn't doing was karate.
Aaron and I had done that together and it just wasn't fun anymore.
Unfortunately when you've enjoyed doing something for ten years and
suddenly give it up then people notice.  I think my parents use that as a
litmus test to judge whether I'm happy or not.  They won't think I've
'recovered' until I take it up again.

Like I said, karate was something Aaron and I had done together.  We were
both going for our black belts.  I actually got mine when I turned sixteen.
My father made me.  It was part of the deal that came with the jeep.  I did
it then I quit.  I was kind of a jerk about it.  As soon as I got it I
tossed it to my father, said "I quit", and walked to the car.  I felt bad
as soon as I did it but I was pissed off.  It wasn't the same without being
able to practice with Aaron in the area we had converted in his father's
garage. I know my father was really upset.  He didn't say a word the rest
of the day.

This whole move bothers me because I'm convinced they did it because I
haven't been able to move on.  Yeah, I've been an emotional wreck since he
'went away' but like I said, I thought I was doing better.  Now I'm not
sure what to think.

Aaron was the best friend a guy could have.  He was part of me and that
helped make me who I am.  That may sound corny but it's true.  We spent so
much time together people thought it was strange if they saw one of us
without the other.  We were always at each other's house.  It was like
having two families.  We even had cloths at each other's house.  I wonder
what my parents would say if they knew I still had some of his stuff.

I especially like his red square cut underwear we ordered from one of those
on-line websites but that's another story.  Suffice it to say that he
looked really hot in them. They're in my bureau now and sometimes I hold
them when I get really depressed.  I can still smell him when I bury my
face in them.

My mother tried to convince me this move is a good thing.  She pulled out
all kinds of shrink stuff. I'd be able to have a fresh start where nobody
knows what happened.  I wouldn't be constantly reminded of him.  I could
put it in the past and move on.  I guess them disrupting everyone's life
showed they loved me but we should have talked about it.  I didn't need to
move.

I know my parents feel bad too.  They loved Aaron like their own son and
they knew how much I loved him.  Maybe I didn't want them to find out how
we felt about each other the way they did but they were okay with it.  They
were both supportive which surprised me.  Actually, my mother was
supportive.  My father thought it was a phase between two friends and that
we'd grow out of it.  He wasn't non-supportive though.

Aaron and I should have been more careful that afternoon. We really didn't
think anyone would be home so early.  Normally nobody was home after school
since Scott stayed at an after school program most days.  How were we to
know three of my mom's patients canceled their appointments and she chose
that time to come home to do housework?  Specifically to put laundry away
.... in my room!!!!

We must have jumped three feet when she opened the door.  I wonder what she
really thought when she saw her then fifteen year old son naked in bed with
his best friend.  Fortunately we were under the blankets but she didn't
have to see much to know what was going on.  She obviously saw enough, our
bare shoulders clearly visible, Aaron on top of me, our arms around each
other and our cloths piled on the floor.

We thought we'd be in a world of trouble if our parents ever found out but
my mother was really cool about things.  She was actually embarrassed.  She
stuttered through an apology and said she'd like to talk before Aaron went
home. Then she walked out and closed the door. Needless to say being caught
by my mother changed our mood rather quickly.  We just laid there holding
each other.  Laying here now I can remember it like it was yesterday.

Aaron put his forehead against mine and I could feel his breath.  "I love
you you know.  Just remember that, okay?" he said as I looked into his
eyes.

I couldn't help but smile.  "I know that.  I love you too.  More than I can
ever show you.  Maybe she'll understand.  She didn't seem too pissed ... or
shocked.  You know she loves you as much as she does me so let's not worry
about it.  She's a shrink.  She knows there are gay people in the world.
She might not have expected her son to be one of them but she isn't
stupid."  Then I started snickering.

"What?" he asked.

"I was just thinking.  She said she wanted to talk to us before you went
home."

"Yeah, I heard her.  What's so funny?"

"Well, she didn't ask when you're going home" I said smiling and rolling us
over, hugging him.  "We should finish what we started."

I licked his lips and put my mouth over his.  He responded by holding me
tight and returning my kiss.

"You're bad," he chuckled.  "I think she meant sooner rather than later."

"I know but who knows what is going to happen.  I want to feel you next to
me as much as I can."

"I'll always be next to you.  She can't stop that.  Now let's go 'talk'."

"I know and you're right."

We sat up and reached for our cloths.  I handed Aaron his shorts and
t-shirt but before giving him his boxer briefs I brought them to my face
and took a deep breath.

"You're a perve you know.  You want me to leave those here for you to use
later?"

"Nah," I laughed.  "I've already got a pair.  You take these or your mother
will wonder why you keep loosing your underwear."

"My mother doesn't know anything about my underwear.  I buy my own cloths,"
he pointedly stated as he pulled his shorts on.  I watched, looking at his
lean, smooth torso above his shorts.  He laughed and said my mother would
probably appreciate it if we were both dressed when we saw her, smacking me
playfully on the head.  I grabbed him, pulled him back down and kissed his
stomach before standing up and getting dressed to get ready for 'the talk'
with Mom.

 ----

The clock read almost eleven when I turned to look at it.  'Shit,' I
thought, 'I must have fallen asleep.'  I was a little pissed for not
unpacking more stuff.  Oh well, it'll still be there.  I knew I had been
thinking about Aaron since there were tears in my eyes.  I was mad that he
wouldn't be with me always like we had said.  It really is true that
nothing is forever.  I wondered if I'd ever find love like that again.  He
and I completed each other.  No matter how things changed over the years we
were always able to keep that special bond.  Now it was gone.  He was gone.

I looked in the corner at the pile of boxes left to unpack.  Some I'd just
put in the closet.  Some had cloths I hadn't worn in a year, not that they
didn't fit or anything, they just represented a different life.  I had
picked them out with Aaron or more often to please Aaron.  He liked it when
I showed off a little.  Another box had my karate trophies.  Other boxes
had books and CDs.  I'd probably get around to those but there wasn't any
hurry.  The only thing I really had to unpack were the boxes with clothes I
actually did wear.

I felt I should go downstairs to say goodnight to my parents before I went
to bed.  I'd been in a bad mood all weekend and they knew it.  Thinking
about Aaron for the last couple of hours hadn't helped any either.  I knew
I'd get used to living here.  After all, what difference does it really
make.  Yeah, I was enjoying myself more this year but I was still just
going through the motions.  What's the difference if I do that in Chicago
or I do it here?

Around eleven-thirty I decided to go say good night to my parents.  I
wanted to get a good night sleep so I could get up and go for a run before
school.  I hadn't had time to run in a few days and was anxious to work off
some stress.  Even though my life had changed a lot in the last year I
still tried to keep in shape. I'd feel even more depressed if I looked in
the mirror and didn't like what I saw, physically at least.  I'd map out a
route if my computer had internet access but since it wasn't hooked up yet
I'd have to do it the old fashioned way and pay attention to where I went
so I wouldn't get lost.  I wasn't worried, the town wasn't that big but I
hadn't really left the house yet.

I heard my parents talking in the living room as I went into the kitchen
but they stopped when they saw me.  They did that a lot.  I'd already heard
enough to know they were talking about me and I frowned to let them know
it.  I came downstairs to show them I wasn't 'as mad' but hearing them
pissed me off again.

"I'm going to bed.  I want to get up early so I can run before school."

"Are you all unpacked?  Do you have everything you need for tomorrow?"

"I'm fine.  I fell asleep and didn't finish but I've got enough for
tomorrow."

"Dan," my father said looking at me.

'Here it comes,' I thought.

"Try to give this a chance.  Nobody knows you here and they don't know what
happened.  You have a chance to start over.  It's like you have a blank
sheet of paper. What you write on it is up to you.  Make it a good story.
Who knows, you might find a nice girl."

That set me off.  What kind of crap is that?  "First, I'm gay dad.  You
know that.  I'm not going to find a nice girl.  I know you thought Aaron
and I were just experimenting or it was a phase but that wasn't it.  Mom
knows that.  You don't know how much I've wished ...," stopping before I
said it.

Maybe he had a point.  I always equated my relationship with Aaron as
'being gay'.  It wasn't like I'd ever thought of having a relationship like
that with anyone else but then again I always had him.  I liked both girls
and guys.  It's just that a hot guy makes me feel different than a hot girl
not that both aren't nice to look at.  Regardless, I wasn't going to
discuss it with him.  It was something I'd figure out for myself.

"Wished what Dan? Wished you aren't gay?  Nobody here knows you are gay.  I
still don't believe it. I'm not sure you do."

"No Dad.  I accept that I'm gay.  It's you who doesn't.  I just wish ...
Never mind."  How could I tell them I wished it was me and not Aaron.

"Dan, don't talk like that.  I know you and Aaron had a special friendship.
Some people never get to experience that..  I understand that but I also
think you should keep an open mind.  See what happens.  Please don't just
tell people you're gay."

"I'm not going to say anything Dad.  It's nobodies business but mine
anyway.  You don't have to worry.  I'm not a flamer or anything.  People
don't look at me and immediately think I'm gay.  It's not like many people
even knew back home."

"This is your home now."

"I don't feel like it is.  At least not yet.  Everything and everyone I
know is halfway across the country and it was just last week that I was
going to school there. You should have told me about this earlier.  I don't
believe you just found out about your transfer last week.  There is no way
things could have happened this quick, having this house, all our stuff
moved, everything.  You both say I need to talk more, to be more open about
things.  That goes both ways."

I hadn't wanted to get into this but my father pushed the wrong button.
Don't get me wrong, I love my parents.  It's just that they sometimes get
too 'parenty'.

"Dan, honey," my mom started.  "We know you're upset.  Maybe we should have
told you but we made a decision not to.  You're too angry about what
happened with Aaron.  We didn't want to make you more upset.  But for your
information this is a good opportunity for your father.  We didn't just
move to give you a fresh start."

"Yeah, right," I said sarcastically.

"Your father is right.  This is a new start for you.  It will be good for
you.  You're going to be in a new school and meet new friends.  Things will
work out.  You'll see.  Aaron would want it to work out for you.  You know
that."

I knew she was right.  Aaron would want that.  It was me who wouldn't let
myself be happy.

"At least I don't have to talk to that counselor anymore."

"No, but you do still need to go to counseling. We talked about that."

I just sighed and nodded.  "Anyone will be better than Ms. Furry Fingers.
How does she expect people to listen to her when she looks like that?"

"Dr. Jacobson is well respected.  I'm sorry you didn't like her.  We'll
find someone here.  I'll talk to people at work to get some
recommendations.  Just remember, it's time to move on.  I know you won't
forget Aaron but it's time to move on with your life.  You're only sixteen
years old.  You have your entire life in front of you.  Aaron isn't here."

I really didn't want to get into it again.  That's all everyone said:
"You're only sixteen" ...  "Move on" ... "You've got your whole life in
front of you" ...  "You'll find a nice girl and be happy."  Deep down I
knew they were right.  Everything except that last part of course.  The
jury was still out on that. I wanted to be happy but I couldn't get what
happened out of my head.  Maybe I just wanted to feel sorry for myself a
little while longer.

"What's the point?" I said.  "I'm going to bed so I can go running before
school."

"You remember you have an appointment with the guidance counselor at eight
o'clock, right?  You'll have to be ready at 7:30 so I can take you.  Your
jeep and the other car won't be here for a couple of days.  Until then we
all have to carpool.  You and your brother will have to be dropped off.
Scott is staying after school like before.  I assume you can get home.  It
isn't that far."

"I know but you're not coming to my appointment with me, right? "

"No Dan, we've already filled out all the paperwork.  The guidance
counselor just wants to meet you to go over your schedule.  She said she
wants to get to know you.  It's a small school so things will be different
than you're used to.  She doesn't know anything about what happened the
last year other than your grades have slipped.  She'll probably want to
know why.  Try to have a positive attitude."

I didn't answer. "I'm going to bed. Good night."

"Check on your brother.  He's in his room.  I don't think he's asleep yet.
I'm sure he wants to see you."

"Okay," I said as I turned to go upstairs.

My father called out.  "You know, there are a quite a few karate studios
around.  Have you thought about going back to it?"

I stopped at the bottom of the stairs.  "You know I can't do that Dad.
Just drop it ... Please."

My father sighed and just said to think about it.  I knew he was proud of
me when I did well at tournaments.  He kept saying it helped my thinking
and allowed me to control my emotions. It would take more than karate to
control the emotions I had now.  I didn't say anything else and walked
upstairs.

TO BE CONTINUED