Date: Fri, 31 Mar 2017 18:25:06 +0000 (UTC)
From: Doug Smith <das11111@yahoo.com>
Subject: High School: The Move, Chapter 43

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
This story is a work of FICTION. The events described have only occurred in
my mind.  Any similarities to actual events or persons are strictly
coincidental.

THIS STORY CONTAINS GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF CONSENSUAL SEXUAL ACTS BETWEEN
HIGH SCHOOL AGE MALES. IT IS INTENDED FOR A MATURE AUDIENCE ONLY! IF YOU
FIND THIS TYPE OF MATERIAL OFFENSIVE, OR IF YOU ARE UNDER 18, OR UNDER THE
LEGAL AGE TO VIEW SUCH MATERIAL THEN PLEASE READ NO FURTHER.

The author retains the copyright, and any other rights, to this original
story.  You may not publish it or any part of it without explicit
authorization from me.

PLEASE NOTE: Feedback, both positive and negative, is welcomed and greatly
appreciated. Please email das11111@yahoo.com
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The Move
Chapter 43

Nicky

Despite everything my father had said, I was still nervous when we went
inside.  I didn't expect him to start yelling again but part of me wondered
what he would do behind closed doors.  It's one thing to say something in
front of others.  It's something else when nobody is around.  I really
wasn't sure what to expect, so I kept my guard up until I knew for sure.
I'd bolt if he turned into Mr. Hyde again.

I admit my anxiety peaked when he closed the door.  He didn't say anything
for a minute.  I stood in the living room, a room I had always felt
comfortable in, looking around warily.  He had never hit me and I didn't
think he would now, but I was nervous.  I looked towards the door wondering
how I could get around him.  My father must have sensed my apprehension as
well.  He simply smiled, walked over to me and wrapped me in a tight hug.
All my fears melted away.

"I'm sorry Nicky."

"I'm sorry too, Dad.  I'm sorry I ran away and I'm sorry I can't be the son
you want.  I'm not sorry I'm gay though.  I used to be, but no more.  I
know nothing is going to change that.  I'm just sorry because of you and
Mom."

"No, no, no... don't be sorry because of us.  I was surprised.  I'm not
proud of the way I acted.  I've always felt being gay is wrong, that it's a
choice.  I still don't understand it.  The thought of two guys together
is... disturbing.  I can't imagine how anyone would choose that."

"Being gay isn't a choice Dad.  Dan says I can choose how I live my life
but if I'm gay then I'm gay.  I can't choose that."

"It's foreign to me Nicky.  I can't imagine being with another man like
that, doing the things two guys do together.  I'll be honest.  It's always
made me cringe."

"That's because your not gay, Dad.  And it's not about sex."

"Maybe.  I just never thought I'd have to deal with this.  It may not be
right but I was willing to accept gay people if it didn't affect me.  I was
okay if someone else chose to live that lifestyle, but now, with you, I
have to rethink things.  All my life I've always felt a certain way, and
now I might need to change.  I'm not there yet, but you're my son and I
love you.  I'll try Nicky, but try to understand it isn't easy.  Okay?"

"Okay Dad.  I know you're surprised.  I've had longer to deal with it."  I
didn't know how much discussion he really wanted but I'd thought about this
stuff a lot.  I'd been dealing with my feelings since I was ten, maybe
earlier.  I'd also read stuff online.  Dan has helped too.  "Can I say
something?"

"Of course.  I told you we'd figure this out.  I want you to talk to me."

"Dad, it's not a choice and it's not a lifestyle.  I listened to a podcast
online where a guy who has a husband and a son talk about the gay lifestyle
and the gay agenda.  It was pretty funny.  He talked about his lifestyle.
It's like everyone else.  He gets up, he gets his son off to school, he has
a cup of coffee, he drives to work getting stuck in traffic..."

"Okay Nicky, I see your point.  I'm talking about all the other stuff you
hear about."

"His point was there are all kinds of people, gay and straight.  The only
difference is who they love.  Everything else, how they live their lives,
is what is a choice.  Everyone is different.  Dan is gay.  So isn't
Lt. Henderson.  They're good people."

"Lt. Henderson is gay?  How do you know?"

"He told me."

My father just looked at me.  That definitely surprised him.  He had no
idea.

"Nicky, I just don't know.  I'm trying.  This is all new to me.  How do you
know all this stuff?  You're only fourteen.  I'm supposed to be teaching
you, not the other way around."

"I've had a long time to think about this stuff.  I've read a lot online.
Danny and I have talked about it.  Dan has helped too.  It hasn't been easy
Dad.  I've struggled.  I've willed it away.  I've prayed.  I've denied it.
Nothing makes it go away.  It's who I am.  I've accepted that."

"Okay, you two," Mom said as she entered the room.  "I've given you two
enough time to talk for now.  I'm hungry.  "Do you want to go out or have
something here?  Hopefully I don't have to tell you the right answer, but
if it helps, I'm not cooking."

Dad laughed.  "I guess we're going out.  Is that okay with you Nicky?"

Going out would probably be better than staying in.  Not that we wouldn't
`talk' more at lunch but hopefully it wouldn't be as bad.  Mom would be
there too.  She might not understand me being gay either, but she's not
like Dad.  She'll keep Dad from grilling me.  At least he's talking to me
and he says he loves me.  That's a start I guess.

"How much trouble am I in?"

"Do you mean for running off?"

"That, and the other thing.  You do know I did smoke, right?  That story
about second-hand smoke is bull.  I don't know how Dan convinced
Lt. Henderson to go along with that."

"Lt. Henderson seems like a good guy.  He and I talked.  I can't believe
he's gay." Dad started to say Lt. Henderson doesn't seem the type but
caught himself.  "Sorry," he said.  "I am trying.  Anyway, you're not in
trouble."

"Really?"

"Nicky, I wasn't much of a father when you needed me but after all this I
know I need to do better.  If you give me a mulligan then I'll give you one
too.  As for smoking pot, I went to college too.  I was older than you but
I've smoked it too.  That doesn't mean it's okay for you.  You're only
fourteen.  I was at least in college.  And no, that doesn't mean it's okay
when you get to college either."

"My Dad was a stoner???  Wow!!!  What else did you do in college?"

"That's for me to know and you to wonder about," he said.  "And I wouldn't
exactly call myself a stoner.  Now go take a shower and change your
clothes.  And put those in the wash."

"Yes sir."

"And Nicky?"

"Yeah?"

"Your mother and I do love you."

"I know.  I didn't think so this morning, but I do now.  I love you too.
I'll be back in a few minutes."

I knew everything wasn't back to normal but I felt a huge sense of relief.
I saw my mother give my father a hug and say something to him as I ran up
the stairs.  Maybe this was going to be okay.  Hopefully Danny's
grandfather would actually get him a phone and then we could talk.  I don't
know what will happen but I want to let him know I love him.

It did feel good to get out of my clothes.  Everyone was right.  They
really did smell pretty bad.  I stripped down in my room.  I texted Dan as
I stood naked in the middle of my room.  I thanked him again and told him
things were going okay with Dad.  I also told him I was naked while I was
texting.  He didn't answer so I assumed he was busy.  He'll see them when
he gets a chance and hopefully smile.  I know he doesn't have any interest
in me like that but I am a little evil sometimes.  Planting an image in his
head isn't so bad.  I could have offered to send a picture.  I guess I
don't really have any thoughts of him like that either.  At least
anymore. I admit I kinda did at first but not really.  Danny and I just
joked around.  I wouldn't delete his picture if he sent me one though.  Not
that he would.

I stood looking into the mirror for a couple minutes.  Nathan was right.  I
do have a cute little ass.  I guess I'm what you call cute in general.  I
don't have many muscles.  I certainly don't have bulging biceps or 6-pack
abs or anything like that.  I don't really like that look anyway.  I'm also
just fourteen.  Nonetheless, I'd hit on me if I could.  I guess you'd say
I'm my type.  Of course Danny is my type too.

I'm glad I didn't do anything with Nathan.  I admit I thought about it but
I couldn't do that.  I was just horny.  I'd be thinking of how much I'd be
hurting Danny and wouldn't be into it.  Besides, he might have been nice to
me and would have liked to fuck my cute little ass, something I've never
done by the way, but he only looked at it as a hookup.  He didn't really
want me.  Like he said, he likes sex.  Maybe he'll jerk-off thinking of my
`cute little ass'.  Haha, I'm not really conceited.  I am horny though.

The shower felt good.  My parents had put in a sauna shower a couple years
ago.  It wasn't a commercial thing.  It was something my father had done
himself for the most part.  He got kind of carried away but it's pretty
cool.  The whole bathroom was a steam room.  It had a tiled floor, tiled
walls and a tiled ceiling.  Steam came out of a vent or something in the
wall every so often.  There was some type of sensor on the opposite wall
that turned on the steam if there wasn't enough.  You could use it as a
regular bathroom too and I normally did but today I turned on the steam.

The entire room actually fills up with steam really fast.  There's a vent
and exhaust fan that directs it outside when you're done, but otherwise it
just circulates in the room.  And there's a drain in the floor for the
water that forms from the steam.  Maybe it's kind of pervy but I think it's
fun to take a crap while the room is full of steam.  It's definitely
different.  I'm not going to say whether I have to take a crap now or not.
I'm not that pervy.

The shower was pretty open too.  There were shower heads on the walls as
well as in the ceiling.  I remember a few times when Danny and I showered
together when my parents weren't home.  Thinking about that made me hard.
I wondered if we'd ever be able to do that again.  My cock was sticking
straight out as I stepped under the water.  I didn't have the biggest cock
in the world.  It was only about five inches when it's hard but then again
I am only fourteen.  In a couple years I'll have grown a lot.  I'll be
taller than 5'4" and my cock will be bigger too.  There's no telling how
much though.  Not everyone has a big cock.  Dan told me his isn't that big
but it is six inches.  Six inches is average, right?  I am hoping for above
average.

The shower felt really good.  I put the shower head on pulse mode.  It felt
good on my back.  There is a hand held sprayer as well.  You can adjust
that to pulse too.  Want to know what I used that for?  Let's just say
everything got clean.  I took my time.  I knew my Dad wanted to talk.  I
wasn't in any hurry.  And yes, I jerked off.  I wasn't going to go back
downstairs with a hardon.  Besides, what is a horny, fourteen year-old gay
boy to do?

"You look better," said my Dad, as I walked back into the living room.
"Where do you want to go to lunch?  You pick.  What do you want?  Italian?
Mexican?  Chinese?  Barbecue?  Your choice."

"How about Italian?  That place that has the Italian sampler... spaghetti
and meatballs, lasagna, and chicken parmesan sounds good.  I also want a
big piece of cheesecake for dessert.  I'm starved."

He laughed.  "I wonder why.  We still need to talk Nicky, but as a family,
and there will be as much listening as there is talking.  There are a lot
of things I don't understand.  Just remember your mother and I both love
you.  That's not going to change."

"I love you too Dad."

The restaurant was in a strip mall much like where the gym was except
newer.  There were never many cars in the parking lot.  The mall had quite
a few specialty stores that people only came to when they needed something
in particular.  The building was shaped like an `L' with the restaurant on
one end and a meat store and pizza shop on the other.  There was a
different gym in the middle.  Dan said he checked it out but didn't like it
because when he went all the guys were older and were more muscleheads.
Dan is like me and likes guys with lean, muscular bodies.  Not that I
qualify... yet.  The rest of the mall was specialty stores that never
seemed very busy.  At least according to Dad.

The restaurant itself was nice, not that I really had a lot to compare it
to.  It wasn't a McDonald's style restaurant at least.  The sign out front
called it a family restaurant.  It had two sections separated by a bar in
the middle.  It was late for lunch and early for dinner so there weren't
many people in the dining area.  There were a few people in the bar.

The hostess sat us at a table by the window.  It didn't matter since it was
sunny and the blinds were partially closed.  There were only three other
tables with people at them.  One was a grandmotherly type person with a
friend.  There was another with a man and his wife and a family was at the
third table.  They were diagonally across from us.  I noticed because there
was a boy about my age facing me.  I always noticed cute boys not for any
other reason than they're cute.  Some have nice smiles, some have nice
eyes, or nice legs, or any of the above.  A cute guy is just fun to look
at.  If you're gay and like to look at cute guys then you know what I'm
talking about.  If not then I assume straight guys feel the same checking
out girls.  I don't but I'm not straight.

"I guess I wasn't paying attention," my Dad said.

"What?" I asked.

"You.  You're checking out that boy over there.  Have you always done that
and I just haven't noticed?"

"He's cute Dad.  I'm sorry."

"I've just never noticed.  This is all a surprise.  Tell me, did you notice
his sister?"

"Who? Oh, yeah, I saw her."

"She's cute too."

"I guess," I said.  I knew what he was trying to do.  He was hoping.

"But she's not who you're looking at?"

"I was just checking him out Dad.  I do that.  You're right, you haven't
noticed before.  I try not to be too obvious.  It's also not like I want to
run over and ask him out or anything.  Danny is my boyfriend.  At least I
hope he is.  But I look.  What did grampa say?  The day he stops looking
will be the day they put him in the ground?"

"Grampa looks at women."

"That's good, not me though," I said glancing over at the boy again and
smiling because he was looking at me.  Maybe it didn't mean anything but I
thought there was a momentary understanding when we made eye contact.

"I need to come to grips with this Nicky.  I remember when I was your age.
My friends and I were girl crazy.  That's all we talked about.  Sometimes
one of us would get a hold of a Playboy and we thought we'd struck gold."

"You didn't just look on-line?"

He smiled.  "We didn't have the Internet.  Do we need to monitor your use
of a computer?  The point is I felt things inside when I saw different
girls.  You don't?"

"I feel things.  I just feel them for boys.  My friends talk about girls
all the time too.  I have to fake it.  I make things up so they don't
suspect.  Being gay in school can still get you beat up.  I'll say some
girl is cute or something.  Deep down I know though.  I've known for a long
time.  I don't feel the things they do.  I've tried.  I just don't."

Dad just looked at me.  I know he didn't understand.  How could he?  How
can you really understand if you've never had those feelings?  At least
he's trying.

"Well," Mom said breaking the silence.  "At least you've got good taste.
That boy over there is a good-looking boy.  You are too."  Mom always knows
how to lighten the mood when she has to.

My father laughed.  "I'm glad I passed on those genes," he smiled.

"We passed them on," Mom said.  "He has my eyes.  He only has your nose."

"He's got my intelligence sweetheart," he said with a smile.  "Whether he
uses it all the time or not."

My mother just shook her head.  "Yes, dear.  Go ahead and believe that if
that's what you want."

My father laughed.  "Do you know that boy?"

"No, he doesn't go to my school.  I'd have noticed," I smiled.  "It doesn't
matter.  I'm only interested in Danny, and besides, he probably isn't even
gay.  It would be nice if it was easier to tell."

"I guess you never know.  I admit I was totally surprised when Mr. and
Mrs. Martin told us about you and Danny.  Neither of you seem gay."

"Seem gay?  What does that mean?  Does Dan seem gay?  Does Lt. Henderson?"

"You know what I mean.  You seem like a normal fourteen year-old-boy.  At
least..."

"I am normal Dad."  I was getting upset.  I wasn't going to start crying.
That was something I didn't want to do.  Not now.  That's all I needed,
especially since the waitress took that instant to come over for our order.

"Can you give us a minute?" my father asked.  She looked a little
uncomfortable.  First she looked at me and then at my parents.

"Of course," she said.  "I'll be back in a couple minutes."  She gave me a
sympathetic smile as we made eye contact before she walked away.

"Nicky, I'm sorry. I'm not getting this right.  That's not what I meant.
Of course you're normal.  I just meant you seem like any other fourteen
year-old-boy.  I've never known anyone who is gay.  At least that I know
about.  I just know what you read about and see on TV. "

"You mean girly?  That's not how it is Dad.  You don't think I'm a femme do
you?  I'm not.  Neither is Danny.  Neither is Dan nor Lt. Henderson."

"Sweetheart, no, we don't think that at all," my Mom said.  "This is just
new to us.  We never imagined we'd have to deal with this.  There are a lot
of things we've always assumed.  We never really took the time to think
about it.  Please bear with us.  We may not always say the right thing but
we're trying."

"I'm still a boy.  I just like boys.  One in particular."

My father nodded to the waitress who came back to take our orders.  Dad let
me order anything I wanted.  I ordered a Bocce Ball for an appetizer.
That's an Italian meatball wrapped in some type of crust.  There's probably
more to it than that.  All I know is it was good.  For my meal I ordered
the trio sampler.  I was starved.  My Mom just ordered a salad with grilled
chicken while my Dad had spaghetti and meatballs."

"Where do you put all that food?" Mom asked.  "Are you going through a
growth spurt?"

I just smiled. I hoped something was growing but I didn't think I should
mention that.  So far lunch had been okay.  I'd gotten upset, but they were
trying.  They probably didn't know the right things to say either.  I had
to know though.

"Are you going to be okay with this?" I asked.

"We love you Nicky," Mom said.  "You're our son and we want you to be
happy.  I can't say I'm thrilled about it.  I always envisioned
grandchildren and a daughter-in-law.  Now that won't happen."

"I'll deal with it, we'll deal with it," Dad added, looking towards Mom.
"You've made me realize a lot of what I was feeling was because of how I've
always thought.  You're right, knowing Dan and Lt. Henderson, they aren't
anything like what I would have imagined.  Would I like it not to be the
case?  Of course, but if it is then I'll accept it.  You're my son and I'll
always be there for you."

It was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.  I knew they weren't
happy but they could be a lot worse.  The thought of Danny being alone
flashed through my mind.  I felt my eyes starting to water.  I'm sure my
parents noticed as I wiped them off with my sleeve.

"Mom... Dad... listen, I've known for a long time that I'm gay.  I hated
myself for it.  I couldn't tell you.  I didn't want you to hate me.  I was
hoping it would go away."

"Nicky, you're only fourteen," Mom said.  "How can you be sure?  Maybe it's
your feelings for Danny.  You two have always been close.  Could you be
confusing your feelings for him with everything else?"

"No Mom.  It's not just Danny.  I love Danny.  Maybe you don't think its
real love but to me it is.  It's not just him though.  It's what I feel
inside.  I know you don't understand.  Dan said unless someone feels the
same way they can't possibly truly understand.  He said we know though.
He's made me feel a whole lot better about myself. "

"Speaking of Dan, there is something I want to ask," Dad said. "I've been
curious about your friendship with him.  I said some pretty cruel things to
his Dad but I want to make sure.  He hasn't done anything to you has he?
Convinced you to be like this?  Or more?"

"Dad!!!!  No Way.  He wouldn't do that.  He's a friend and someone I can
talk to who is like me.  I've struggled with this for a long time.  He's
made me feel better about myself.  He says being gay doesn't define me.
It's just one part of who I am."

I turned red when I saw the guy across from us look while his sister
elbowed him saying something and nodding in my direction.  He had obviously
heard me but he didn't look disgusted.  I think he thought it was funny.
I'm not sure his parents thought so but I didn't care.  My Dad might not
understand everything but he wouldn't put up with them saying something
either.  All they did was say something to cause the guy to look away.  If
my parents noticed they didn't say anything.

"It's just strange someone that much older being friends with someone
younger."

"It's not like we're friends who hang out.  He's just a nice guy who
understands.  He's someone Danny and I can talk to.  Remember that night
you met him at the mall?  He didn't have to get involved.  He had caught
Danny and me having a little too much PDA."

"PDA?" asked my Mom.

I laughed when the waitress picked that moment to bring my appetizer.  She
brought rolls and a small salad for each of us too.  My Bocce Ball was
huge.  She obviously knew what PDA is.  She looked like she was in high
school so I'm sure she's heard the term.  She just gave me a smirk when she
set down my plate and said our meals will be out in a few minutes.

Even my Dad laughed.  He knew what it meant.  "PDA is Public Display of
Affection," he said.  "Just what did you and Nicky do?"

"Nothing bad, and certainly nothing a guy and a girl can't do in public.
We just got a little carried away.  Danny and I were in the back of the
bookstore and nobody was around so I gave him a kiss or he gave me one, I'm
not sure.  That was when Dan walked around the corner.  We thought he was
going to kick our butts but he didn't.  He just smiled and said to be
careful.  I guess some other kids had seen us too.  They followed us into
the men's room a few minutes later.  It could have been really bad if Dan
hadn't seen them following us and come in too.  You know the rest.  He
didn't have to get involved, just like he didn't have to do what he did
today.  He just did."

"What about those other three guys from today?"

"What about them?  I just met them at the park."

"We love you son.  I am trying to come to terms with this.  It's a shock
but you're our son.  We don't want you hanging out with people like that.
You could have got into real trouble.  Next time you will."

"They're not bad guys Dad, but there won't be a next time.  I promise."

Fortunately my mother changed the subject while I ate my Bocce Ball.  It
was good.  It was also hard to talk with my mouth full.  Mom said she
wanted to stop at the store on the way home.  She had to pick up a few
things for Thanksgiving.  My grandparents were coming tomorrow and staying
through the weekend.

I watched out of the corner of my eye as the kid I'd been checking out got
up and walk to the back of the restaurant.  He must have been going to the
men's room.  It did give me a chance to look at his ass while he walked
away.  Up until then I had only seen his face and the side of his leg.  I
took another bite of my Bocce Ball when I noticed my father watching me.
He had definitely noticed but fortunately didn't say anything.

It looked like they were leaving anyway.  His parents and sister were
putting on their coats and walking towards the door.  His father kind of
glared at me but his sister was smiling.  Not that it mattered.  I had no
clue who they were.  What happened next surprised the shit out of me.  And
my parents.  The kid walked back through the restaurant right up to our
table.

"Just in case," he said, and put a napkin down in front of me.  On it he
had written his name and phone number.  "I'm Jaden ... and you're cute," he
said, and walked away.

I turned five shades of red as my parents sat there in shock.  He does have
balls I thought.  I wish I hadn't been too shocked to check them out when
he was standing there.

"Nice weather we're having isn't it," I said trying not to laugh.  My
mother cracked up.

"That's a first," Mom said.  "Nobody ever did that to me."

"That's because everyone knew you were taken sweetheart."

"You're not going to call him, right Nicky"

"No, but he is cute!"  I smiled.  "Danny is still my boyfriend.  At least I
hope he is."  I did put the napkin in my pocket though.

"We want to talk about that too."

Fortunately the waitress brought our meals so we couldn't really talk.  I'm
not sure I'd have room for cheesecake after eating my sampler but I was
going to try.  It had spaghetti and only one meatball the same size as the
Bocce Ball but it also had some lasagna and a small piece of chicken
parmesan.  I was going to be stuffed.  My mother just shook her head.

"You are a growing boy," she said.

"What about Danny," I asked.  "You're not going to tell me I can't see him
are you?"

"No, of course not, although I doubt his parents will let you.  They said
some pretty cruel things too, and they didn't seem the type to change their
minds."

"They go to that conservative church you hear about."

"You may just have to face up to the fact they won't let you see him."

"I'll wait.  If he wants to wait until we're eighteen then I will too.  I
love him Dad."

"Ahhh, there's the fourteen year-old I know.  I'm sure it's the same for
gay boys as it is straight boys.  I know you don't want to hear this but
you're young.  The love you feel now won't be the same as the love you feel
when you're eighteen or the love you feel when you're an adult.  My first
love was named Rachael Davis.  She had the cutest, well, let's just say she
was cute.  I was your age and we had already decided we'd go to the same
college and then get married.  That lasted six months.  Then there was
someone else.  I also learned not to think I was in love just because a
girl gave me certain feelings.  That's not love."

"Danny and I are different.  We've been best friends since the second
grade.  We know everything about each other."

"We're not going to tell you what to do.  We like Danny.  We'll do whatever
we can to support you but you have to be realistic too.  Danny is only
fourteen and has some pretty conservative religious parents.  I don't know
what you or we can do.  Have you heard from him at all?"

"Not since all this happened.  I'm not giving up though.  I love him.  Dan
said he met his granddad this morning.  He told him Danny is grounded, they
took away his phone and Internet, and they're making him meet with the
minister from their church.  It won't do any good.  I know it won't."  I
took out the necklace Danny had given me.  "Some day this will be joined
with its other half."

"Okay sweetheart, I hope so.  Your Dad and I just want you to be happy.
We're not going to tell you it won't happen."

"Thanks Mom.  I know it seems that way now but you'll see.  Danny and I
love each other."

"Just remember love can hurt too.  Sometimes you have to make some hard
decisions and those decisions hurt."

"I'm not giving up Mom.  Not until Danny tells me he is.  We talked about
what would happen and what we'd do if his parents ever found out.  He won't
give up either.  I know it."

"We just don't want to see you hurt."

"I know Mom."

Lunch ended up being good.  We stayed for at least two hours eating and
talking.  Not all our conversation was about me being gay.  We talked about
Thanksgiving and even what we're doing for Christmas.  My parents asked if
I wanted to go on a ski vacation.  I don't think they had been thinking
about it until now.  The idea seemed to surprise my mother.  My Dad said
it's something he's been thinking about but we'd have to make reservations
soon.  I wasn't sure I wanted to go but I did like to ski.

It's funny.  If Danny and I could see each other than I probably would have
been all for going even if Danny couldn't go.  We had been on other family
vacations before.  So had Danny.  We missed each other but knew we'd see
each other when one or the other of us got home.  Now that we can't see
each other I'm not really sure I want to go.  I don't think I should go
away to have fun if Danny was a prisoner in his own home.  I'd feel guilty.

Mom let me take some cheesecake to go.  She said she wanted to stop by the
store and get home so she could get ready for Thanksgiving.  She also said
she wanted my help to clean.  I was fine with that given how this day had
started and how it's ending.  She did say we could wait until tomorrow to
do most of the cleaning though.  That worked for me too.

Dan and Josh

We still had a light supper even though we had a late lunch.  I wasn't very
hungry but Mom made tacos.  I loved tacos.  Actually she made taco salads.
That way I could eat what I wanted and not worry about biting into a taco
shell.  Dad and Mr. Michaels had a few beers but everyone else stuck with
water or soda.  Josh and I went with diet Dr. Pepper.

Mom waited until we were all sitting in the family room to `remind' me that
my aunt and uncle along with Jake were coming for Thanksgiving.  I was
leaning against Josh who looked when he felt me immediately tighten up.

"They're just coming for the meal, right?"

"They're not staying here if that's what you mean, but they aren't going to
get here just as we sit down to eat and leave right afterwards.  They're
our guests.  They're flying in from Chicago because we haven't seen them
since we moved.  I don't know what your problem with Jake is but you can
fake it for one day."

I knew it wouldn't do me any good to argue.  Maybe I could fake a relapse
and stay in bed all day.  Better yet maybe I could go back to the hospital.

"Alright," I said.  "Just don't expect me to entertain him and don't sit
him beside me.  Sit him at the other end of the table unless you'd be
willing to sit him at a table in another room.  That works too."

"Dan, what is it about Jake that you don't like?  You're not like this with
anyone else.  He's your cousin.  What's he ever done to you?"

Everyone was looking at me.  I definitely wasn't going to say what he had
done... or said.  Not in front of the Michaels.

"He's a jerk.  I'd rather have you invite Phil Clayton to dinner."

"You two have never been close but you were never like this.  You fought
but could at least be in the same room.  What happened?"

"It's not important.  It's between Jake and me."

I knew I was being a jerk but my parents were grilling me while everyone
else just stared at me.  They'd feel the same way if they knew what he did.
Maybe not but they'd understand why I did.  They don't need to know.

"I'm going upstairs," I said.  "I'm tired."

"Sit down.  We're going to clear this up once and for all.  Jake is your
cousin and he's coming for Thanksgiving.  And you're going to tell us why
you hate him so much."

I was getting pissed.  Even Josh was looking at me like I had two heads.
At least he was holding my hand.

"I just don't like him.  Leave it at that.  I'll be good though.  I won't
ruin Thanksgiving.  Now can I please go to bed?"  I got up to leave without
waiting for an answer.  I wasn't sure if Josh would come or not.  I think
he was a little shell shocked listening to me argue with my parents.  He
looked at my parents before standing to help.  He didn't really move until
my mother nodded.

"We're not done discussing this Dan.  We'll talk more later," my father
said.

"Fine," I said.  "You'll get the same response."

"Knock it off Dan."

"Whatever," I said, but either nobody heard me or they decided not to
respond.

Josh helped me up the stairs.  We had to go up two flights since the family
room is in the basement.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

"Not now.  Maybe later but I don't know.  You really don't want to know.  I
don't want to put you in the middle.  If I tell you then you'll either have
to tell them or lie to them.  Neither of those are acceptable options."

"Dan, I'm on your side.  I can keep a secret."

"Not now Josh.  Please?  I don't want you to have to lie.  You can honestly
tell them you don't know if I don't tell you.  They'll know you know if I
do tell you."

"Then there is a reason?"

"Oh yeah, there's a reason.  The kid is an asshole and that's being kind.
Will you please trust me on this?  It's better I don't say."

"Okay Dan.  For now.  Do you need anything else?  If not, I'm going
downstairs for a while."

"No," I said.  "I'm sorry, Josh.  I love you."

"Yeah.  I love you too," he said, as he walked back downstairs.  I knew he
was pissed.  It wasn't an `I Love You' love you.  It was more of an 'I love
you but I'm pissed' I love you.  Maybe hurt is a better way to describe it.
Hopefully he'll understand.  I felt bad keeping things from him but it's
for the best.  Jake coming for Thanksgiving really sucks.

I went into my room and sat on my bed.  It felt strange.  It had only been
a week.  Nothing had changed.  My trophies were still on the shelf I'd put
up.  My desk was the same.  Some of Scott's clothes were on the floor
because he'd been sleeping with Josh and he wasn't the neatest of people.
I smiled.  What eight-year-old is?  I felt like yelling for Scott to come
pick up his shit but he was in the family room and I couldn't yell that
loud.  I wondered if I should try changing the sheets but decided against
it.  It's not like complete strangers had been sleeping in my bed.  I loved
them both.

I tried not to think about arguing with my parents or the way Josh said `I
Love You too' before he went downstairs.  Of course that only made me think
about it more.  `Fuck'n Jake,' I thought.  I definitely wasn't looking
forward to seeing him.  Of course he probably doesn't want to see me
either, although he'll probably like that I got attacked.  I can hear him
now.

The worst part was Josh was downstairs and not next to me.  I knew if he
was here he'd just be upset I wouldn't tell him what was between Jake and
me, but if it wasn't for Jake he'd be here and we'd be doing who knows
what.  We certainly wouldn't be fighting.  This was the first time we've
had any disagreement where I couldn't just tell him he misunderstood.  This
time he had a legitimate reason for being hurt.  I know I would feel the
same if things were the other way around.  I'd be hurt if he wouldn't tell
me.  Hopefully he'd understand.

I was going crazy going over everything in my head.  It was like a
continuous loop.  The same thoughts over and over again.  I sighed and got
up to turn on some music.  I thought that might change my mood.  I didn't
know what I wanted to hear though.  I wasn't in the mood for anything
upbeat.  I smiled thinking if I put on something that matched my mood it
would be pretty depressing.  I ended up putting on an FM station I like and
letting them choose.  `Fuck'n Jake,' I thought.

I picked up my phone and saw I had two texts from Nicky.  It looked like he
had sent them right after he got home earlier and I hadn't seen them.  He
mainly said things were going well with his Dad and thanked me for helping.
He made me smile because he said he was naked when he was texting.  He was
funny like that.  He liked to tease.  Maybe flirt was a better way to
describe it.  Not that I would, but I wonder what he'd do if took him up on
one of his suggestive comments.  Of course there could be worse things in
the world.  He's definitely cute if you ignore the fact he's almost three
years younger.  Plus, he loves Danny and I love Josh.  It was tough texting
with my left hand but I wanted him to know I hadn't ignored his texts.

D: Hey, sorry for delay. Just saw your texts.  You doing okay?

I had never really texted him just to talk but I guess asking him how
things were going was a natural thing to do.  It didn't take him long to
respond.

N: Hey, things are good with parents.  No word from Danny.  I'm just lying
on my bed listening to music.  I'm bored.

D: Me too. You still naked?

N: Haha, no.  Do you want me to be?

Shit, now I was flirting with a fourteen year-old.

D: Sorry Nicky.  I shouldn't have said that.  I just saw your text.

N: It's okay.  Did you like the image?

D: Truth?

N: Yeah

D: You're cute Nicky.  It made me smile so I guess yes

N: I can send you a pic

D: That's okay Nicky.

N: You're no fun, lol.  How are you doing?

D: Besides both my parents and Josh being pissed at me? Fine

I don't know why I told him that.  I had wanted to see how his day was, not
to talk about me.  I think I just wanted to talk to someone.

N: What happened?

D: Long story.  About Thanksgiving, shithead cousin coming, I'll deal.  How
are you? Your parents okay?

N: Yeah, it's different but we're talking.  We went to lunch and Dad caught
me checking out a cute boy.

D: How'd that go?

N: He asked why he hadn't noticed before.

D: Who was the boy?

N: Idk.  Never saw him before.  He gave me his number though.

D: What??? How did that happen?

N: Big balls.

D: What?

N: Saw me looking, wrote it on a napkin and dropped it in front of me on
his way out.  You should have seen my parents looks.

D: Haha, Wow.  What did they say?

N: I think they finally realized I really am gay, lol.  They were okay
though.  We talked.  They did give me `the I'm too young to know real love
talk' when we talked about Danny.  They gave me `the I'm too young for sex
talk' too.

D: Uggghhhh

N: It wasn't that bad.  It kinda made me feel they love me.  I wasn't
feeling that so it was good.  It's not like I have any sex planned.

N: Unless you're interested??

D: Nicky!!

N: Joking Dan.  I can always hope.  Thanks for texting.  I've just been
lying here missing Danny

D: I know.  I was lying here thinking about Josh being pissed at me.  He's
probably more hurt than pissed

N: Y?

D: My fault.  It has to do with my fuck'n cousin... and Aaron.  Josh wanted
to talk.  I didn't.

N: Dan, shit, bad timing, g2g, Danny. Sorry, Later

D: GO!!!!

I was happy for Nicky.  Hearing anything from Danny had to be better than
not knowing anything.  Hopefully he'd hear something to give him some hope.
I was glad Danny's granddad had done what he said he'd do too. I had
misjudged him, that's for sure.  Hopefully Danny would text me too, so I
could have his number.  I didn't know how much he'd be able to talk but I
wanted him to know I was here for him if there was anything I could do.

Unfortunately, texting with Nicky had given me something to do.  Now I was
back to staring at the ceiling.  I knew I had to figure out this mess with
Jake.  Maybe if I talk to my parents alone.  Of course, I'd have to tell
them everything... not only what Jake did, but what I had done as well.  At
least then the Michaels wouldn't know.  Josh wouldn't either.

And what about Josh?  After all, he is Aaron's brother, but he didn't know
him.  Would he have the same reaction as the Michaels?  I don't know.  Was
I being a coward?  Did I just not want to tell him what I had done?  We
should be able to share anything... everything.  That's what people who
love each other do.


To Be Continued