Date: Sun, 11 Jun 2000 12:19:27 +0800 From: ryan101 <ryan101@edsamail.com.ph> Subject: The New Things - Chapter 5 ------------------------------ LEGAL THINGS and DISCLAIMER: ------------------------------ The story you are about to read is about sex among teens, homosexuality, and gay love. If you are offended by the subject of the story, why on earth are you in here? Please be advised that this type of literature is intended for ADULTS only, that means if you're not over 18 years old or not in legal age in your country, you have to leave (or don't tell anyone!). This is a warning already to protect your rights and the rights of others. This story is entirely FICTION and represents no actual persons -- living or dead. All people, places, events are made up, if there are similarities to real people or events, it's purely COINCIDENTAL. This story is not about senseless sex of teens but this story is about a celebration of teenage gay love and the basic realities of life people face. ---------------- AUTHOR'S NOTE: ---------------- Here is my chance to talk to the readers via writing. Don't hate... Love others! Hey there peeps! Well, it's already Chapter 5, (whew!) and I'm still here because of you people who replied to me via email. Thanx very much. Please continue to email me for your comments, suggestions etc. I will try to reply to your email as soon as possible. A big, big thank you to Jordan West who was helping me for the past chapters in some editions and stuff. Watch for our web site in the future! There are more to come, so sit back and join the journey with Rick, Steve, and Rich to discover NEW THINGS in life. NEW!!! Email me at ryan101@edsamail.com.ph _________________________ Chapter 5 As I squinted at the early light of the sun, I realized the beauty of this Monday morning, but soon, thoughts of Steve and Rick came back to me, and the happy feeling from the morning scene, left me. Gloom was my new, unwelcomed companion. I sat at the side of my bed and took the picture framed at my bed counter. It was the picture of Steve, Rick and me in the shack that was shot a week ago. While I looked at it, the happy memories came back to me and so did the sad ones from the past few days. I pulled the picture to my chest, and cried. I still didn't want to see them, but one way or another, I had to. I replaced the picture frame back on the table and went to my bathroom. I showered quickly. I went back to my room and looked in the mirror. I stared at my reflection. I really looked like shit. The confident person that I saw there was gone and was replaced with a messed up person. I dressed in a shirt and a pair of baggy pants. I went down and greeted my parents with a fake smile. "Good morning, dear. Eat your breakfast." My mom said to me. My dad just gave his usual nod to me and continued reading the newspaper. I sat down and ate my breakfast silently. I knew that my mom had sensed the change in me. I hope that she'll let it go. "Richard, what is bothering you?" My mom worriedly asked me. "Huh? Nothing." I said in a FLAT, WEAK tone. I just can't tell them yet, maybe soon, but not now. "You can always talk to us if something is bothering you. And I really hope that you do talk to us." She looked at my eyes and I immediately looked down to my food and continued eating. "Yeah. I know." I said to her. My dad on the other hand just looked at me and went back reading his newspaper. It's not that he's insensitive, but he knew that it was not the right time for me. He always knows what I feel inside. My mom did let go of the issue. I finished my breakfast and kissed them goodbye. I walked to the bus stop and waited for my ride to the school to arrive. The bus came and I stepped inside. I looked at the people inside and recognized Steve waving at me. 'How can I ditch him now?' I walked to his seat and sat beside him. He looked at me with the happiest eyes he has ever produced. "Do you really mean what you said yesterday, dude?" Steve asked me. I nodded 'yes' to him and closed my eyes. I have to pretend to be asleep because I knew what will come next. He didn't disturb me during the trip to the school -- 'thank God'. 'I did okay in the bus but how about the day in the school?' I thought about this day with Steve and Rick until Steve tried to wake me up. "Rich? We're here! Wake up!" Steve said to me while he was tapping my shoulder. I opened my eyes and saw his wonderful smile painted in his face. I made a fake smile and stretched. I stood up and started to walk towards the door of the bus. As I stepped on the solid ground, an idea stirred in my mind. "Um, Steve. I have to talk to Jen about History. I can't join you this morning. Is that okay?" I said to Steve. I knew that he will buy it but I hoped that he won't tag along with me, I needed to stay away from him and Rick. "Okay. Meet you later at class. Cya." He patted my shoulder and left me there. For the next twenty minutes, I wandered around the school to let time pass and to organize my thoughts that were jumbled in my head because of the events that happened for the past two days. As soon as the bell rang, I walked along the hallway to my first class, History. I was less depressed and less confused but, I knew that once I saw Rick and Steve, more depression and confusion WOULD HIT ME. The steps I took towards that door were the heaviest. It's like the world is on my shoulder, but I HAD to endure it. As I touched the knob of the door, two hands covered my eyes and giggles followed the touch. "Guess who?" The voice was familiar, too familiar in fact. "Wazzup Rick?" It was Rick. Rick was the goofy one. He loved to surprise people and to make lame jokes. As a good friend, I always GAVE him a simple smile from his stupid jokes and it can raise his spirits. "Aww! You always know." I could have lengthen the stupid surprise thing but I wasn't in the mood. "Duh? You always do that!" I said to Rick in an irritated tone. I opened the door and sat at the far end of the room, away from Rick and Steve. Rick looked sad but I was more lonely than him if he only knew the things I was into for the past days. Shortly, Steve entered the room and scanned it for familiar faces. He was already going to sit beside me when he spotted Rick and sat beside him. It was one of the most painful things I have ever experienced but I have to live with it. Mrs. Peters, our History teacher, was one of the most boring TEACHERS in the school. The lesson was dry and uninteresting, and with Mrs. Peters' slow pace of talking, the more boring it became. More than half of the class were already dozing off to dreamland, but two particular person were very lively that time. Steve and Rick were on the opposite side from my point of view and they were just giggling and chatting like they didn't see each other for a year. It's like I never came here to California -- I was already forgotten. I fell on a deeper depression because of the show I was getting. I wasn't loved by Steve and then, I didn't exist in their stupid world. The anger in me was building up but the sadness was building up faster. The mixed emotions in me was too much already. I think that the best way to ease the pressure in me was to confront them. My search for the truth ended when the bell rang. I have to confront them, but is this the right time? I still couldn't quite control myself, so I ran outside the door and went immediately to my next class, Math. Again, I stayed on the far side of the room to think of the right time for the confrontation. 'Lunch won't be a good time because they're still in the closet, so dismissal would be the best.' My thoughts were settled but listening to Mr. Borowitz and his math problems can confuse you a lot. The two lovebirds were still giggling and chatting. Seeing them in that state of happiness really made me envious. 'Rick shouldn't be the one telling old lame jokes to Steve -- it should be me. Rick should not be the one sharing his secrets with Steve -- it should be me.' I snapped out of the thought immediately and stayed with reality with a loud shout. "Mr. Steve Baker and Mr. Rick Wells, if you're not interested about Math. I think it is best if you settle your other business in the principal's office." Mr. Borowitz said in his irritated voice. "Sorry sir." Steve and Rick said in unison but Mr. Borowitz has already made up his mind in sending the two to the principal's office. It maybe fate's way of helping me to ease the pain of seeing them happy... and together. Steve and Rick stood up taking their bags and marched out of the classroom. The remaining time of the class was spent in senseless solving of math problems. Even if time dragged, I was happy about it because the two were nowhere in sight. The bell rang and I slowly walked to my next class, Science. I didn't know what to do because I knew I would have to see them repeatedly in this class, and I couldn't stand it to see them in that state of happiness, without me. One of my ideas came to life as I opened the door. I approached our Science teacher, Miss Jones. "Miss Jones, can I be excused to the clinic. I really don't feel good." I asked her in a very weak voice. "Oh, sure Richard." Miss Jones said. I walked out of the room and headed for the clinic. I knocked at the door of the clinic and came inside. I was welcomed by our nurse, Mrs. Walters who was one of my teacher friends. "Richard, what happened, dear?" She asked me in her worried tone. "Mrs. Walters, I really don't feel good. Can I just stay here and rest for a while?" I asked her. "Sure, Richard. Do you want me to call your mom?" I immediately nodded 'no' and laid down on the bed. I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep. *********** As I opened my eyes, I sensed the change of the surroundings. I was not in the clinic anymore, I was in the shack. I wondered what I was doing there and heard soft sobs coming from outside the shack. I stood up and walked to the door. The sobs were getting louder as I approached the door and they were becoming familiar to my ears. The person was very familiar, too familiar in fact. He was there sitted on the riverbanks and was crying. "Steve?" I asked while I walked nearer to the person looking at his blurry reflection in the river. It was really Steve. He turned around and looked at me with his teary eyes. He stood up and embraced me tightly. "Why? What's the matter?" I asked Steve while patting his back to comfort him. He didn't answer my question and just kept crying at my shoulder. When his cries eased, I broke our embrace and look at him straight in his eyes. I wiped his tears away and gave him a very warm smile. "Why are you doing this to me?" Steve asked in a sort of irritated tone. "I am doing this to you because... I love you, Steve from the moment I first saw you in the bus." I said to him and felt that he was confused. "I love you too Rick but we didn't meet in the bus for the first time. We never rode the same bus." Steve told me in a confused look. "Rick? No, I am Rich." I tried to reason out with him. "Rich? Who is Rich? You are Rick, silly. Look at your reflection in the water." Steve told me. I approached the river and looked in the reflection. Steve was right, the person I saw in the reflection was Rick. What has happened? It's like Rich, me, never existed. *********** "Richard, are you okay? You're dreaming." A familiar voice brought me back to the clinic. "Huh? Where am I?" I asked while squinting because of the bright light of the room. "You're in the clinic." Mrs. Walters said to me. I was in the clinic and there's Mrs. Walters. It was a dream after all. 'What does it mean' I asked myself. "You should fix yourself now, Richard. It's barely dismissal." Dismissal? I slept in the clinic for almost five hours. "What? Dismissal?" I asked Mrs. Walters quizzically as I stood up and fixed myself. "Yes. You've been sleeping like an angel since you arrived here. You must be hungry. You haven't eaten yet?" She said to me. I thanked her for letting me stay in the clinic and felt the hunger. I have to wait for the final bell, so I just sat there in the clinic while chatting with Mrs. Walters. Mrs. Walters was one of the adults who I can talk to easily, without being embarrassed. There's just something with her that lets me share my thoughts, except the 'Steve and Rick thing' of course. Finally, the bell rang. I stood up and kissed Mrs. Walters goodbye. As I was walking along the corridors, someone grabbed my shoulder. I turned around to face the person who grabbed me. It was Steve in a worried look. "What on earth happened with you? You were out all day?" Steve said to me. "I was in the clinic. I was feeling bad earlier." I said to Steve without looking at him. "You made me worried sick!" Steve said while holding my shoulders. Steve lifted my chin to look at my face and he smiled. Everytime Steve flashed that smile to me, it's like my knees were buckling and was giving in to him. I felt another tap on my shoulder. I turned around and it was Rick. 'Oh my God! I am surrounded.' I thought. I did want to confront them at this time. "Where in God's name did you go, dude?" Rick said to me in the same worried tone of Steve. "Clinic. Can we go out and eat. I am starving here." I said to Steve and Rick. Steve and Rick looked at each other and nodded. 'What now, they have a psychic connection?' I thought. I just let go of my thoughts and within minutes, I was munching a burger in Burger King. "Thank you, Rich." Steve said to me and held my hand. "For what?" I said with a mouthful of food in my mouth. "You know. Steve and I." Rick said and placed his hand on Steve's hand that was on my hand. "Oh, that. No problem." I lied. I gave a weak laugh, but I wanted to cry right there. I took my hand from their touch and placed it on my lap and my tears began to fall. "What's the matter, Rich?" Steve asked me. Steve stood up and sat beside me. "Nothing... It's just... I still can't tell." I said to both of them between sobs. "It's going to be alright, dude." Rick said to me and sat too on the my other side. It was not alright for me. I still didn't want to see the love they were sharing. The object of my love, Steve, was with Rick already. 'Can I live with it?' The sight was just too painful to bear. "Can I ask you both a question?" I said to them in a cracky voice. They nodded 'yes' and with all strength in me, I asked the question, "Do you really love each other?" There was a long pause. Steve and Rick looked in each other's soul to search for the answer and I awaited for the worst answer ever. "I think so, yes. Even if this is the first time I loved another person in a different level." Steve said while holding Rick's hand that was on the table. "Me too, I love you, Steve." Rick said. It was indeed the worst words I had ever heard. I had to live with them, together. No one could change that. They were in love. _________________________ End of Chapter 5 Hmmmmm... pretty interesting, right??? Thanks again to my friend, Jordan West who really helped me with the editing and stuff and those who email me. The responses are really heartwarming. Comments and suggestion are always welcome. Flames will be ignored! NEW!!! Email me at ryan101@edsamail.com.ph