Date: Mon, 10 Oct 2016 00:51:51 +0000
From: Harry Scott Hayden <harryscotthayden@outlook.com>
Subject: "The One And Only You" - Chapter 8 - Depression (Nifty/Gay/Highschool)

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Disclaimer: This story is fictional.  Some of the things that happened or
will happen with Harry and Jasper, especially in the high school scene, are
bits and pieces of my life.  Parts of the character are fictional as
well. All other characters were made up and any similarities are just
coincidental.  This is gay romance between teenage boys, there may be sex,
but for the most part, it's about their true love of each other so if that
offends you, please discontinue reading. Also, if it is illegal for you to
read such material, you have been warned.

I hope you're enjoying it and that the story draws you in wanting more.  If
you have any suggestions or concerns, do not hesitate to email me at
harryscotthayden@outlook.com.  Thoughts and suggestion are always welcomed
and may or may not be implemented.  Concerns will be considered and
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"The One And Only You" - Chapter 8 - Depression


Issac POV

For the whole of last week, I felt worse with the things that had been
going on around me. Especially with the episode that was happening at the
back of the classroom during History lesson. When Mr. Brown instructed us
to find our own partners for the project, I was ecstatic and immediately I
stood up from my chair to proceed to the back of the classroom, but what I
saw when I had turned around, my heart sank and ached. Harry had already
been sitting closed to Jasper with his arm around his shoulder. They were
not displaying any kind of public affection, but it was kind of eyesore to
me.

Feeling defeated, I sat back down and waited for whoever want to partner
with me. Without me realizing it, my eyes began to gather tears, that may
cascade down my cheeks at anytime. I felt slightly breathless and felt that
my face heating up, not sure either because of anger or jealousy or
sadness.

Suddenly, I felt my shoulder being tapped by someone, I looked up and saw
Jessica Howard, a blond hair girl, standing at 5'9" with a sweet smile and
slightly on the plump side, smiling at me. What my luck to have her for a
partner as she can be a bit flirtatious and I don't like it.

No one really knew of my sexuality, and I would prefer not to tell
anyone. It had been tough to see others being bullied just because they are
gay. Are not gay people human too? Do not we have the same rights as
straight people? I knew that Harry was not homophobic as I had ever seen
him talking and being friendly with gay people. There were time that he
defended a boy from the tenth grade from a bully.

For me to say that Harry's was not a friend of mine, was not true at
all. We did have a good relationship. For goodness' sake, we did ever do
assignments together. He was kind, attentive, friendly and smart. The only
problem I had with him is, he was too close with Jasper and Jasper was not
really that friendly with me. To say that Jasper was being vocal or
physical with me, it's not right at all, as he did not do any of that. The
problem I had with him, he was with Harry and he took all the attention
that Harry can ever give to me or anybody. It was totally not a fair
deal. I felt that I was on the losing side.

While discussing the assignment, I would occasionally turn back to look at
Harry. "Fuck!" I hissed silently. What I saw made my heart ached. Jasper
was leaning his head on Harry shoulder, and Harry had his cheek on Jasper
head. From where I'm sitting, it looked like they are hugging lovingly with
each other. If no one was around, they would most probably be making out up
there. Why can't it be me doing it with Harry instead of that idiotic
Jasper. My mind kept on wandering with things I can do with Harry's back
there. Hugging, kissing, caressing and much more... hehehe!

When the bell rang for lunch period, I glanced back for a quick look and
saw Harry hugging Jasper ever so tightly oblivious to others surrounding
them. My brain goes berserk, thinking what was actually going on back
there. I was curious and jealous and angry and furious and yet I could not
do anything. They were having their moment back there and their best friend
Patrick and Nathan was just grinning at them. What a weird group of friend
they are?

Why was Jasper been getting special treatment from Harry's? I had always
wondered.

1) Harry had often been giving rides to Jasper on his motorbike. Whether to
school and back or just going out.  2) Sharing lunch in the cafeteria with
Jasper spoon-feeding him like a sweet baby boy. He sure looked so cute
while being fed by Jasper.  3) They were always seen together where ever
they go, whether it is in school or out of school.  4) Their ever
occasional hugs and kisses, even not in the mouth, it was more to the
imagination.

Ever since that day, I felt so depressed and worthless. My appetite to food
was gone, and it makes me feel so lifeless and I will always cramped myself
in my bedroom, sulking My family was not helping either. They are non
sympathetic human being and was just so self involved with themselves. They
never ever worry or slightest care of my well-being, as though I was
invincible or not alive. Instead, because of their ignorance, I took the
liberty to go and see a specialist by myself to get it treated before I go
crazy. Why am I so deeply affected by all of this. I don't know why am I so
engrossed with Harry.

At night, I would occasionally cried myself to sleep. It's been going on
for a couple of days and it was bothering me so much. My depression was
getting really bad and it worsens with time, that it make to fall me sick
and I would missed school for the last two days. I was given anti
depression medicines, but it didn't help at all. I could eat or sleep and
would always felt miserable.

The scene between Harry and Jasper would kept on repeating over and over
again in my mind like a broken record player. What can I do? I am not
really sure how to act, to prevent and I was just too timid to take any
action. Even to talk to him will take great effort from my side. I cannot
lose him to Jasper.... Never. Actually, I was not to sure what do I want
from Harry. Is it just for friendship or wanting it to be more? But what
can I do to convince him? Seems like Harry and Jasper had something going
on with each other. But aren't they supposed to be straight? I've seen them
flirting around with girls together with Patrick and Ryan, their two other
significant cliques. There were even tales of them getting scored with lots
of the girls in school. All of them would sure to flock to them like a bee
to a honey and they just need to pick the one they like best. There were
also guys who came on to Harry, and I want to be that guy.

All four of them are in the school football team. The creme de la creme of
all sports in school. Handsome jocks, solid bodies and super popular around
the school scene. I would probably looked like a dead wood standing around
them..... Oh GOD! What am I suppose to do. If Harry and Jasper a couple, I
would not be able to restrain myself from being a douche bag.


All this thoughts give me too much headache and damn, I need my medicines
urgently. Lying on my bed and cry myself to sleep...... Goodnight!

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