Date: Sat, 23 Jan 2010 09:54:16 -0800
From: Cody Hurst <hurstaudio@airpost.net>
Subject: The Paths We Choose - chapter 1

The intent of this Novel is to express my feelings on my life. I want to
convey as much as I can of how I feel my life should have been in another
child's body. Since I have missed out on so much, I wanted to take this
oppertunity to write a fictional novel of a boy that I wished I could have
been. This story is based on my life and contains partial fact. No names
used are real. My writing skills are not all that up to par, but any
commentary you can give me is greatly appreciated. I used to be excellent
when I was a younger boy writing in elementary school.
hurstaudio@airpost.net.

  I also want to give a shout out to two authors and praise the work
they've done on Nifty. First is the author of Simon's journal, who no one I
don't think could ever get a hold of. The second is the author of Asleep on
the beach, Andy. Great work guys, please keep it up. Also Tim from
Highschool humiliations and Tim and Michell.

The Paths We Choose

Chapter 1

  I sat on the patio with my laptop basking in the sun. Man I loved this
kind of weather, not too hot, not too cold. I could really meditate easily
out here. For a twelve year old, I guess I was pretty technically inclined.
I admit half the time I never considered how much money I had spent on
myself, but appreciated all the things I had. I rubbed the shiny plastic on
my new macbook pro I had just received in the mail for my birthday which
was last month. Even though i loved technology I wasn't a geek. well at
least I didn't act nor look like one. I heard someone open the back screen
door of the house.

  "PK, are you hungry? I made sandwiches inside and hot cocoa. Aren't you
cold out here?" Mom came walking out of the house.

  "I'm fine mom, I'll be in in a few minutes." I called back. But now come
to think of it, it was getting chilly. I figured I could wait a few minutes
before heading inside so I leaned back into the lawn chair and began to day
dream. My birthday had been fairly busy with the friends I did have meeting
me and my parents at the bowling alley for a bowling party. I wasn't a
world class bowler, but having glaucoma and not being able to see out of my
left eye and bearly seeing good enough in the right to read large print
allowed me to use what I had to have fun. And that is exactly what I did. I
had gotten CD's and a scooter from my friend AJ who was a tutor brought
down from the high school to help me with my assignments. I was a boy at
heart. If it weren't for my parents getting in the way at the party, I
would have had loads of fun. I guess that's how things had to be. I had
issues between me and my parents, but nothing that I allowed to stand in
the way of our relationship. My dad seemed to be too over protective and
sometimes was in his cool guy moods when around other people. Dad was very
intimidating, always tossing threats my way and never knowing if he
actually meant them. I'd have to hide my things from him, because if dad
knew mom was buying me things he'd have a fit. She may have had a little
money management problem, but her kind personality substituted for her
squandering of money. I heard about the account that was set aside for me
by my grand parents, but doubted I'd ever see the money. I was relieved
when dad had left. Being young and not fully comprehending the situation is
one thing, but I sure as hell don't know I'd do what he did. Mom and I both
agreed on his aditudinal issues toward us, but it probably had all stemmed
back to my grand parents when dad was a boy. I was glad I had friends to
talk to about these issues, since most of my friend's parents had been
divorced themselves. I took their advice in not paying attention to the
situation I was in, and it worked for the most part. School progressed and
remembered the new boy who Principal Finer oriented with the school and his
classes. Thus far, he had only been at PVMS a week and we hadn't really
talked. The thought of the new comer made me cringe, all the kids I had
known to migrate to my school had been transfered from detention centers or
had some sort of issue. Our school was the center of bad kids, but we had
our share of the good ones. Mr.  Finer was just the one to slap everybody
straight who got out of line. I cracked a smile at myself when I remembered
the afternoon when Meranda, Buddy, and I had been staying after school
working on something and principal Finer started cracking dirty jokes. I
started chuckling to myself. Bud and Meranda were two of the boys I hung
out with when I could but their schedules often times did not permit time
to spare for me. I could never wrap my mind around how everyone's schedule
was always too full for me. Why did everyone have things to do and mom and
I not have anything? Well I usually didn't like doing things by myself in
the first place, and if I really got antsie, I strolled around town.

  I pulled myself back to reality when my mac announced the time to me. I
pulled myself up out of the chair and walked inside.

  "If only everyday could be this easy going," I thought to myself. I
devoured my lunch and figured I'd take a nap for the rest of the
day. Actually, it was about six in the evening anyway, if I slept all
night, I'm not sure it really would have mattered. I had only woken up once
and that was to administer pleasure to myself. I had been doing that since
I was five or six, I can't remember, but had been a while. I knew what I
was doing, and I knew why it felt good, but seldom did I consider the
content of my thought while pleasuring myself. Often times I thought about
boys I knew, sometimes girls. I was always the popular cute boy in
elementary school and girls clung all over me. I was at the age now where
you started seeing crushes in school and making out in the halls and
stairwells. I knew it was tasteless. Most of the time what really got me
off was thinking about other boys I new. When I finished I rolled over and
fell back to sleep.

  I heard my alarm go off and rolled over. I knew it was five AM just by
looking out the window. The shades were closed but I could tell it was
still dark through what I could see. It wasn't until about quarter till six
that the sun would come up. I was too comfortable to even move and decided
that fifteen minutes to lie there and wake up wouldn't hurt. Usually when
deciding this, drifting back off to sleep was inevitable. Once I was asleep
I never wanted to get up, especially if the night before I had a headache
from the pressure in my eye. Or was it sinuses? Who knows. When I awoke
once again I saw a half an hour had passed.

  "Shit!", I muttered to myself as I jumped up out of my double bed. The
sun had already started making more of an appearance into my bedroom
window. Since I never took the time to really prepare myself for the day, I
threw on my clothes not paying much attention to my hair or face. I usually
showered at night since I knew I'd have a constant habit of sleeping in. My
parents had separated and just recently gotten a divorce. Since I walked to
school, I figured after dressing myself I had a few minutes to spare. I sat
on my bed looking out the window. I sat there thinking about everything. My
life, the day that faced me and my family. My family was always good to me,
and had always been supportive of my decisions. I wasn't a particularly
brilliant student in middle school, but had been able to keep a steady
average of A's and B's. Outside of the usual childhood mischief, I wasn't
really all that much of a bad kid either. But for whatever reason I was
unhappy about something. I couldn't see, so big deal. Everyone liked me as
a friend, and I wasn't particularly bad looking either. Being five foot six
inches, with a charming smile and brown hair that was parted to the right I
thought was nothing to be ashamed of. And with my big blue eyes it was no
wonder why everyone clung on to me. I chalked it up to normal teenage
thoughts running through my mind and decided to walk out to the kitchen for
a bite to eat before running out the door. Being early was customary for me
so I really paid no attention to time, but as with anyone, being late once
in a while happened. After realizing it was almost quarter after six, I
gathered my pack and walked out the door. Most of my friends I knew ran out
the door to the bus stop but I never understood even if you were early why
would you run? Not having energy wasn't the issue because I was a very
energetic person. But being an only child and not having any siblings made
me create my own world and seemed to take on more adult characteristics and
I seldom acted childish.

  Living in big cities isn't really my thing, but at least I could be
thankful that where I do live is fairly easy to travel. Of course, though,
you would have the occasional high school student or grandma behind the
wheel who can't find their way out of a plastic bag let alone their way
down a one way street and nearly hit you, but over all it was a pretty safe
town. I was also thankful that I had decent traveling skills and traveled
safely most of the time, but this was probably because I have been used to
this town for years, ever since I was a little boy. It really didn't matter
if you were on the sidewalk or not, vehicles still seem to find their ways
onto your path. Luckily though, this doesn't happen all that often.
Portville was almost entirely paved with fresh white sidewalks, and strict
township laws kept them looking clean and hedges trimmed. When my dad was
still living with us he had made it known to the township on several
occasions when I hurt myself after running into a tree limb and cutting my
left cheek. I sware by the way the school nurse was acting that day she
thought I might've been in a fight or something. That was about the only
good thing he ever did. But anyway, Portville rules and regulations kept
the downtown area a fairly safe walking area. I couldn't remember any real
note worthy crime ever taking place. I always walked to school, ever since
I convinced my parents that my travelling skills were just as good as
anyone elses. No one is a pro at walking, you know, it's just something one
had to do to get from point A to point B. After doing the route to the
school for a while now I had figured out shortcuts.

  "Humph. As good looking as I am it's a wonder I'm not a target." I
mumbled to myself. I have gained a lot of respect in the city of Portville,
so I really didn't have anything to worry about on the whole. No matter
where I happened to be the school gangs always happened to be lurking
around and took care of any trouble that happen to find me. I found this
concept to be quite interesting considering that people you may at first
have found to be troublesome really actually have alright intentions.

  Before I knew it I had arrived at school and just as I had made it
through the door, I felt a tug on my shirt.

  "what's up, PK?" Still partially asleep I stumbled threw my mind to find
whose voice I had just heard. "hey Logan." I replied. Logan sometimes
reminded me of a kid who I once knew back in elementary school, always
bouncy and cheerful. Nonetheless, when he wanted to be serious, you sure
knew it. But whatever it was he was talking about, he always seemed to put
some sort of spell on those who might  not agree. Those big green puppy
eyes were too much to bear.  So who could say no? Well, certainly not
me. If he was as half as good looking as everyone has told me he was, I'm
sure I'd be all over him as well. I was slapped back into reality when I
remembered where I was and the thoughts I was having and started turning
red in the face.

  "Why so red?" Logan inquired. I shrugged my shoulders and turned and
walked away. I didn't particularly mind, considering I could have easily
used some sort of blindness excuse to justify my blushing, but normally
never got to that point. I knew that boy was as loving as a teddy bear, and
I could be myself around him and be myself. That thought always made me
feel at home and comfortable.

  My first class was always the most nerving yet exciting one, but not
because of the content of the class. Since I wasn't all that outgoing and
never knew what to say I mainly attempted to make small talk. I walked into
Mrs. Shaw's class and took my seat towards the back of the room. The room
was not incredibly huge, but was comfortable for seven rows of desks.
However, the rows were not individual desks, instead each row comprised of
two desks in order to fullfill Mrs. Shaws study buddy system of learning. I
didn't particularly care for it, but I wasn't one to cause commotion. Logan
was in the same math class as I was, but he kept my distance from me
because of his constant urges to always help me and assist me which he knew
I didn't like all the time because he realized I loved my independence. But
ever since she sat me next to this new boy from Lansden, I couldn't wait
for each day to sit next to him. I couldn't come up with a suitable enough
explanation why, but my heart would start to race and my breathing increase
quite a lot. I had been like this before but gave it up to nervousness, but
never stopped to question myself as to what I was nervous about? The only
reason I know about his appearance is because I overheard the chatter in
the background about him. Damn. He's only been here a week and girls are
already cooing all over him. It was nothing new, so I decided to ignore
it. When Mrs. Shaw passed at the first worksheet on quadratic formulas, my
nervousness quickly went out the window and I suddenly frowned and my head
hit the desk. The new boy laughed.

  "What's wrong, are you alright?" he asked as he patted the back of my
head. I was a little confused by his odd jesture but passed it on as
nothing or as to ask if I was ok.

  "yeah, I just hate these mindless papers, and she doesn't even take the
time to teach it. She waits until we've failed the entire worksheet and
then teaches it." I explained. "Can I at least help you?" He inquired.
"sure. but I hope you know what you're doing, because I sure don't." I
replied. Just then I began to feel uncomfortable again. I didn't know his
name, but whoever he was sure was a nice boy. His laugh was squeaky yet
entertaining and soon got me chuckling as well. I reached down under my
chair to grab the Perkins brailler which was mounted inside the metal wire
basket under the seat of the chair. Actually, the desks and chairs were all
one, and some were bent out of proportion because kids, especially the
jocks, would always be leaning back on them. I couldn't even imagine anyone
strong enough to bend those huge metal bars that formed the back of the
chair. I always wondered why the school picked purple chairs when the
school colors had been black and red. Ah well, not important I suppose.
Side tracked from the random thoughts I was having, I started in on casual
conversation with the new boy.

  "So what's your name?" I asked him.

  "I'm Lowell, what's yours?" He asked.

  "My name is PK." I answered. About half way threw the worksheet it fell
silent between the two of us, then he leaned over and whispered in my ear.

  "I hope you don't mind but I think I like other guys. Please don't be
angry with me." He confessed. At which point I turned extremely red, that
the girl behind me made a comment to her partner but ignored it. From the
way Lowell had sniffed to himself as to hold back tears, I could tell he
had smiled back at me and closed his eyes. I could tell his hair was darker
than mine and parted just as mine was., I could tell from the contrast of
his light skin on his forehead and his dark straight hair that flopped down
I could not tell what color his eyes were, but from the chatter that took
place before class begun I knew he had dark blue eyes. I smiled back at him
but did not say anything. I was stunned that another boy had said such a
thing to me, but I figured that if I was going to be his partner for the
next seven months, that he wanted to know if I was against it or something.
Towards the end of the class period, which usually lasted forever due to
block scheduling, but seemed to fly by today, I realized his foot was snug
against mine under the desk. When the bell rang I stood up and smiled at
him and departed from the room.

  "Damn bell, so annoying," I muttered to myself. It's amazing what you can
sense from other people if you just put your mind to it. It's not really a
blindee thing, rather I was just so used to being around others and
observing casual conversation that I just developed a sort of way to read
others. I'm not like super blind man, or anything, but somehow no matter
how many times I try to tell others that, that is the impression I
leave. *sighs*

  The rest of the day was a drag and it was rather hard to keep focused in
the rest of my classes. I figured by the time I got home I needed to chill
out and take my mind off the events that had happened. I was relieved when
the two forty bell rang, because I was out of that school faster than a
streak of lightning. I wasn't sure why I was running home but I was. Well,
I wasn't really running, but I was uncomfortable, excited, happy and
confused all at the same time and didn't know what to think of myself or
the new student that we had just recently gotten, so I had a quick stride
to me. I just wanted to be alone.

  After reaching my front door I climbed the stairs and flopped on my
bed. This was one of the many times I was thankful I had a stereo system
and a lock on my door. I just wanted to be alone and listen to my music.
Without hesitation I setup my five disk changer stereo with Trammell
Starks's three CD set of Music for Local Forecast jazz and was quickly in a
daze on my bed. Before I knew it, five o'clock had struck and figured mom
would have been home.

  "Pk, how are you. You had me worried. You weren't downstairs like you
usually are and couldn't find you." she remarked. "I just wanted to relax
for a little bit, just tired is all," I explained. I could smell dinner
cooking so I decided that I'd go downstairs and sit at the table and wait,
since there was no use going back to sleep in my room. "Pk, it is not
polite to lay your head down at the table." she corrected. "I'm sorry, just
more tired than I thought, today was a pretty busy day and math was rather
frustrating." I explained. She replied, "I hope that means you don't have
much home work so you can get something that resembles sleep tonight." I
hung my head after I remembered the work load I had on a regular basis and
was thankful that tonight, being a Monday night, I had next to none.

  Several silent minutes went by and I asked mom what was for dinner. I was
sorry that I did, because for the next ten to fifteen minutes I heard how
work was so stressful for her as well and how she didn't feel like making
elaborate dinner. But I couldn't complain, because at least she had given
me cooking lessons when I was younger so if I decided I was still hungry
I'd be able to prepare simple things for myself. I looked out the window
and saw it was getting cloudy. Since it was late November, I hoped for
snow. To my surprise, the forecast did call for snow, and lots of it. Just
as I started eating the sky started to open up. A smile cracked onto my
face. "you might like it but you don't have to drive nine miles to work
each day PK." she groaned. I smiled even bigger and said "But I have to
walk in it!" Mom groaned once more and after I had finished eating I
notified her of my disappearance into my room.  I felt extremely safe in my
room, especially in the winter time. I felt as if nothing or no one could
get to me and I could say, think and do anything I wanted and no one would
ever know. As I walked by the front door, I could smell the cold fresh air
and smiled once more as I vanished up the stairs.  I walked into my room,
where I found I left the light on my night stand on. Since the music had
already started to repeat itself I figured that I'd start on my homework. I
figured it would take me no longer than maybe twenty minutes at the
most. I've always been fairly good with doing my homework, because
otherwise I'd fall into the same trap I did with elementary school and the
painful math that I never could, and to this day, never understand. I sat
at my desk with my macbook and began reading the chapters I had been
assigned from Mr. Linch. And because Mrs. Shaw was too involved in her own
personal business during class, I and the rest of the class was not
assigned any homework. By about seven I was ready to crash, but first
decided to shower. I usually like to soak in the shower and average shower
times of about thirty to thirty five minutes. My mom hates it because of
the hot water usage, but she's gotten pretty used to it by now.

  It was around 8:30 when I crawled into bed and pulled the covers over
me. After clicking off the light I thought about the day that had passed
and tried to figure out how I really felt and where I fell in terms of who
I was. Was Lowell really serious? Was he hitting on me? Why didn't I react
negatively like all other boys do my age when talk like that comes up in
conversation? I reasoned that this probably wasn't what I should think and
as a result I may get myself worried over some nonsense. But on the other
hand, I had to have been concerned or at least interested otherwise I
wouldn't have dwelled on this all day and evening. I rolled onto my left
side, pillow between my legs and one under my arm and head, and drifted off
to sleep. It was a sleeping habit I aquired from dad some years ago when I
slept with both of them in their bedroom as a little boy. Now I can't do
without it, mostly because I'm too boney.

  "damn, five comes fast." I grumbled to myself as I rolled over after what
seemed like only a few minutes after falling asleep to shut off my alarm. I
rolled onto my back and lie there for several minutes while I composed my
thoughts and arranged everything that I had to do for the day. Around
twenty after I woke up fully and swung my legs over and sat up. I marveled
at my own body and how I was attractive, even to myself. I had always felt
like this ever since I started noticing how my own body had started to
change. Moments like these I wished I had someone there with me that I
could bond and sleep with since I had no siblings and while I always enjoy
my time alone, it gets lonesome. Just being with another person and the
physical contact of another compassionate human being always made me
curious and aroused me at the mere thought. I guess that's why some times I
get so jumpy with things if people say certain things to me. But in all
honesty though, I really have no idea. It is a pain growing up some times.

  After slipping underwear on and a pullo, I walked out to the kitchen to
start coffee. I figured I had plenty of time before I had to leave, so I
walked back to my room to check my mail and finished dressing myself. I had
noticed an email from Logan.

*****

Hi PK, I was just wondering if everything with you was alright, after
seeing you this morning and then again in math I saw you and you didn't
look all that comfortable. It wasn't like you and was wondering if
everything at home was alright. I noticed the new boy made some pretty
weird moves around you yesterday.  C-ya in school dude - Logan

***

    I replied to him but I was very worried now that someone noticed and
was now asking me if I was ok. I knew logan since we were in kindergarten
so I knew he wouldn't mess with me and his intensions and concerns were
genuine. I still did not tell him the truth. But the truth of the matter
really was that lately I have been having strange dreams at night, and
wasn't sure if I liked them or not because most of the time I could never
remember them. I remember the coffee and walked back out to the kitchen and
poured myself a cup. By now my heart was still racing after hearing that
email, but I knew deep down I had nothing to worry about since I knew I
hadn't told the truth to Logan and there was no way he could even guess in
his wildest dreams what I was thinking.

  Once I finished my coffee I gathered my pack and once again, headed out
the door. But this time, I hadn't thought about the level of snow on the
ground.  Portville school district has been and probably always will be
notorious for not closing down schools even for six inches of snow on the
ground, so I didn't even second guess myself after getting out the front
door. As I walked passed Logan's house, he came running out. Apparently he
had been waiting for me and was going to walk with me to school because I
could hear him calling my name through his winter coat which had muffled
his voice somewhat and he had his pack on his back.

  "PK! PK!" he screamed. I turned and smiled at him, this time not turning
red. "did you get my email last night? I was a little worried about you,
You were acting weird yesterday and stuff." he continued. I paused a second
before replying. "Yeah, got it this morning. I'm fine, just a lot I been
thinking about and stuff I don't know about, just confused I guess." I
could tell from Logan's bodily motions that he wasn't buying it and I grew
increasingly nervous.  Logan moved closer and whispered to me, "hey what do
you think about that new guy? I hear all the girls love him." I smiled
again and said, "yeah I could tell, every one in math class was talking
about him, especially the girls. I can see exactly why they like him so
much." I supposed I shouldn't have said that last sentence because just
then I turned red again. before he had a chance to say anything, I told him
to come along otherwise we'd be late for class.  Me and him walked the rest
of the way to school. Since we knew each other so well he had gotten used
to me asking him for an elbow for sighted guide, and naturally he nudged me
with his arm and I grabbed on. Thank god for folding canes, I don't know
how I'd manage with one of those other things. The sidewalks still had snow
on them but you could still make out the sidewalk itself and figured
sighted guide probably  would work faster since I did take my time in the
snow. We reached the school just in time for the first bell. I had never
been late before. Whether it was a good thing or not, the neighborhood we
lived in was so close to the school one could hear the school bell beeping
extremely loudly, even if you stood outside your front door it could be
heard.  It was loud and obnoxious and I guessed that they did that to just
piss all of us off. Everyone hated it and could definitely scare the
daylights out of you especially when sitting in a quiet classroom.

  By the time we had reached the front door, I had noticed everyone had
gone to class and that we were indeed late. I saw Mr. Finer, the principal,
as we entered the building and both of us looked down. "So, first time
being late to school? I'll let both of you slide this one time, the weather
is sort of a hindrance this morning and I realize you boys walk here, but
please do not let it happen again you hear?" principal Finer stated. We
both ran off to class as if nothing had happened. I could tell today was
going to be one of those days that could only be equivalent to hanging
Christmas lights. When one goes out, they all go out. And that is exactly
how I felt. Usually if one thing happened, I could pretty much guarantee
that an entire string of events would follow that day that were troublesome
to me or caused hindrances in my way. Luckily for me today things did not
play out like that at all. Principal Finer was the genuine kind of guy who
never seemed too stuck up for himself that no one wanted to be around
him. you could tell just by the way he talked that he was a fun kind of guy
and liked to have a good time once in a while. But when something did
happen to go wrong, which wasn't all that often in PVMS, he sure made his
appearance and voice known to the school. Even I liked him as a person, as
he never seemed to let his ego take over his personality when in the
school. It was known sometimes students to talk to him about socializing
and throwing back a few drinks for the weekend to come or for doing things
that otherwise might not have been legal. But since everyone in the entire
student body knew his other side as a principal, no one ever bothered to
talk about Mr. Finer and his occasional parties behind his back. Mr. Finer
was a tall black guy, who was large in size. Not fat, but large and
intimidating.

  The day progressed as usual until just before it was time for lunch I was
walking to the room I was assigned for all of my keeping of my books, and
tripped over someone sprawled out on the floor. This was something that
royally ticked me off, but managed to get used to it over the years in
school. I hadn't realized who I tripped over until I was on the floor next
to them. It turned out to be Lowell and he was smiling and kindly told me
he was sorry and didn't' know how much I could see and wasn't aware that I
hadn't seen him. After cooling myself I told him it was alright and
continued down the hall. I was just about to enter the cafeteria when I was
stopped by Lowell.

  "Do you mind if I sit with you?" he asked. "Sure, I supposed so." I
replied. I was rather thankful at this point that Lowell wasn't that well
known in this school as of yet because I knew a few particular people who
were not fond of the genre of people that Lowell was. But as we carried on
a conversation I realized he wasn't the person he was in math, probably
because he was around more people and the cafeteria was nearly full. But I
can remember the few girls that I took a particular interest in last year
that I never gathered up the courage to ask over. The only real reason I
took an interest to them is because they showed affection for me. Some
cooed all over me, some just pretended to play mommy. I didn't particularly
care for the females in my classes who did this because then it got me
worked up for nothing, and I started to believe that they were interested
in me for something that they really weren't.  "I got to stop taking people
too seriously," I thought. Or maybe girls should stop messing with guy's
minds. I hadn't realized that Lowell had done most of the talking while I
was off in another world conversing with myself in my head. "are you ok?
I've been talking and it looks like you have been staring at the walls for
the passed ten minutes." Lowell remarked. "I'm sorry, I've just had a lot
on my mind lately, I didn't mean to ignore you," I explained.  I continued
to eat my lunch while we both sat in silence for a few minutes. If he had
said something I probably didn't notice because it was so noisy in the
room. He started talking again after a second after we both finished
eating.

  "do you like this school? I really didn't want to move from my old school
but my parents made me. I'm going to have to start all over with making new
friends. It seems pretty easy going so far and everyone seems to be
nice. All the girls seem to like me, I've noticed all the talk behind my
back and I don't mind it one bit. I can ignore stuff real easy and I am not
interested anyway. Thanks for not taking what I told you so harshly like
everyone in my last school." I looked in his direction and smiled weekly. I
know it probably wasn't too reassuring but I think I got my message across.

  "Hey, you want to hang out after school? I think my parents will really
like you. They were really picky about my friends at my other school," he
asked.

  "uh, sure...if you want just call me, because I'll need to know where you
live so I can walk...my mom doesn't get home until kind of late....well
like five," I replied. He agreed and we exchanged phone numbers. Thank god
for note takers...they can be a real life saver sometimes if you can't read
a piece of paper.

  "Can we hang out around six?" he asked.

  "I don't know, my mom gets home and we eat dinner at five thirty, so I'll
let you know, but give me a call so I know when you are ready, it's really
unpredictable at my house." I answered. He nudged me with his foot and
smiled at me.

  We both departed from the cafeteria and I made my way to history. The
rest of the day was a drag, but managed to stay awake, I guess I can thank
block scheduling for causing the students so much grief. I often wondered
why they couldn't give the long boring classes to high school students and
not middle school students. I was relieved that for my last class the
teacher just talked. I know lectures sounded boring to me, but I grew to
like them, if it was something interesting, and if the person telling them
had emotion to their voice. I generally walked away not remembering much of
anything but it was interesting at the time. I was so into the novel being
read that I hardly heard the two forty bell. I jumped up and walked down
the two flights of steps and out the front door and was instantly
overwhelmed by the smell of fresh twenty eight degree air and the scent of
deassel exhaust from all of the buses. Actually it smelled more like glue
being mixed with ice cold air. I made it home in record time and was
surprised when I looked at my watch and I hadn't even rushed either. I was
extremely tired and before I knew it after I walked up the stairs into my
bedroom, I was fast asleep after climbing onto my bed. I was so happy that
after having no friends to hang around with in elementary school, I finally
had someone that wanted to hang out.

  I woke up a little before dinner was ready and I heard mom knock on my
door.

  "PK hunny dinner is ready, and your friend Lowell called, I told his mom
he could come over around 6:30 and stay until nine if that is ok, his mom
said Lowell told her that you wouldn't mind." I jumped up and my heart
started racing and I walked over to my door and opened it. "I'll be right
down. I took my time walking downstairs but my heart was still racing and
breathing fast. I tried calming myself as I sat down at the table, and
noticed my mom had already dished out my chicken rotel on my plate.

  "PK, you've got time, it's only five thirty, don't rush," she called from
the living room. I breathed a sigh of relief as I began to eat. I was
quickly lost in my own thoughts. Thoughts about Christmas quickly filled my
mind, because I remembered that as quickly as I lost track of time,
Christmas would be here and I would never have given my list of things to
mom, and dad, who now lived in the next state over. I only talked to him on
a necessary basis, as I wasn't a big fan of him, and his aditude towards
me. His one track mind about money started to irritate me and his constant
yelling and cursing really started to hurt me deeply, especially some of
the things he'd say to me that I could never have imagined a father saying
to their only son. I tried not to think about it and thanked who ever that
big guy was up in the sky that I didn't have to deal with it anymore. If
anyone was going to waste money, it was dad. He bought a sports car and
sold it within a year, then bought a house and moved his business to the
next state over where he'd have to get reestablished.  Not to mension the
countless times he had taken his business test and failed it. I thought all
of these things were really bad ideas. But as far as he was concerned I
didn't know any better.

  I finished my dinner and placed my dishes in the sink and headed for my
room. I had about a half an hour before Lowell showed up, so I decided that
I'd lay down, since I didn't have any homework, well, none that was
pressing to get done, anyway. The half hour flew by, as I drifted in and
out of a light state of sleep. I heard the door bell ring and my stomach
fluttered. I ran down to open the door and there stood Lowell, and I could
hear his mother's car running in the background and waved to
her. "Hey. Come in." I offered, and he did just that. I wasn't exactly sure
what all he had in mind to do, but I assumed school work since, he thought
I was such a nice person, I figured he wanted to study with me. I grabbed
my pack and I instructed him to follow me.

  "This is my room. Not big, but I like it. I don't have many things
either," I explained. Lowell shrugged his shoulders in concurrence. I was
starting to feel uncomfortable, but sat down on my bed and looked at him,
while he still stood there not to far into my doorway of my room.

  "is it ok if I closed the door?" he asked gently. I shook my head yes,
and he slowly closed the door and walked over to my bed and sat down.

  "PK, I've seen you around the halls and I think you are amazing," he
began.

  "I hope you don't mind helping me study for my math class. I wish you
were in more than just one class, everyone else seems to not care to help
me, and I don't know why. I'm nice to everyone." I lowered my head and
thought a second.

  "well I always try to be a good person to everyone, and you are
nice. Does this have anything to do with you liking other guys?" I
asked. There was a long pause before he continued. I never knew silence
between two people could be so awkward.

  "Well, uh, sort of.." he admitted. I broke a slight smile.

  "Do you like me in that sort of way?" I asked hesitantly. Another long
paused passed. I could sense him starting to whimper a bit and then
gradually start to increase his volume in his sobs. "Yes," he mumbled
through his sobs.

  "I hope you don't mind, I just.....just....I don't know..." he trailed
his words and I reached for his right leg and found his hand and grabbed it
and gave it a squeeze.

  "Hey, I don't mind, I think I'm uh....I think I'm kind of like that too
anyway," I managed to push out.

  "Really? Honest?" Lowell was beginning to get more of an interest so I
continued.

  "I promise I am. I have had these strange feelings for other guys for
quite a while but never knew how to express them. So that's why I didn't
get mad at you and I tried to smile each time you brought it up." I
continued. His sobs were now constant and he was now facing away from me. I
put my arm around him and held his hand with my right hand. I couldn't help
but notice stirring in my pants. I gradually worked my hand up his arm and
around his neck. It was like my emotions were taking over and telling me
what to do. before I knew it both of us were in a deep passionate hug. I
could feel myself begin to get wet in my pants. He didnt' seem to be
anxious to do anything but before I knew it, after he had stopped crying,
our lips were locked and I was petting the back of his head and rubbing his
back. I guess I didn't really have to use my hands around his waste all
that much because I could feel his already stiff penis in his jeans as I
sat on his lap hugging and kissing him. Before I knew it, he pushed me on
my back on my bed and his hands started moving up and down my chest and
stomach. Since I hadn't started puberty yet, or if I had, I didn't have any
body hair. He began to lift my shirt off me, so I raised my arms so he
could completely remove my shirt, and he did the same to himself. It
definitely seemed like he had experience of some sort. He started kissing
me all over my chest, sides, face and licking me from neck to jeans. "You
know, I've never done this before," he hesitantly said. "Oh yes, you're
doing fine, I guess. I've never done this before either but it really feels
good." I quickly confirmed. I felt him unsnap my jeans and he slid his
fingers in the sides and I knew he was trying to slide them off me, so I
raised my bottom off the bed and felt my jeans slide down to and off my
feet and heard them being tossed on the floor by Lowell. Just as I thought
he was going to remove my underwear, I let out a moan and he lay his self
on top of me with his arms tied around my skinny body and I reached around
him, right arm over left arm, and our lips met. The next thing I new, his
tongue was in my mouth and he had me moaning consistently. Feeling his now
fully erect penis through his underwear made me almost have my first orgasm
with a boy. After about five minutes, he lifted himself and took off my
socks. I hadn't noticed, but in the process of undressing me, he had also
finished undressig himself. He told me to get up in order for him to slide
back the covers on my bed and we both got in. Once his body met mine,
totally naked, I let out the loudest moan I think I probably ever had that
wasn't from pain in my life. I felt my body tense up and I thrust my hips
up in the air, both of us once again locked together with our arms tied
around each of our bodies. I slid my right hand down and thrust my index
finger into his crack. His lips pressed harder against mine and he
moaned. All of a sudden, I started shooting huge wads of semen, whih poured
out of me like a sink faucet. My warm thick cream ran down my stomach and
chest and down the side of my neck and started to gather in a pool on my
pillow. Lowell suddenly let out a shrill squeal and his body let out four
long jets of hot thick semen just as I had and finally colapsed onto me
then we snuggled before falling asleep, under my warm down comforter. We
somehow found ourselves kissing passionately for several minutes. Lowell
moaned once more and shot a second load of teenage boy juice all over me. I
pressed his head against my face and thrust my tongue inside his mouth and
immediately he started sucking on it like a pacifier. Once we finished
kissing and moaning we fell asleep for what seemed like all night but it
was actually about quarter after eight. We separated ourselves from one
another and only then did I realize the intense odor of our semen, which I
found not to be a turn off as everyone at school said. I had dried semen
all over me, and had to find some way to clean myself before mom came
upstairs to get Lowell to go home because his mother was here to get him.
I nearly passed out when I realized what we had just done, and was thankful
Lowell had a quick mind, because I certainly didn't. All he told me was
"get dressed," and so I did just that.  By the time mom got to the door I
was thankful she did not proceed to walk in, as he decided to pop me a kiss
square on the lips and I turned quite red.

  "I'm ready to go home, thank you for letting me stay Mrs. PK's mom!" he
exclaimed as he bounced out the door.

  "Can we have a sleep over this weekend?" he shouted back. I almost
died. If there was ever such a thing as a color draining vacuum it would
have been what pulled all the blood directly from my head, down to my feet,
because I turned instantly pale. Either mom really hadn't noticed, or she
chose to keep quiet because she knew something had been up, or was up. But
then again, for all she knew I had never been to a sleep over before and if
this is what she was worried about then I could probably use it as an
excuse if she were to ask.

  "We'll see. You can come over any time you want, I enjoy having PK's
little friends over." Before I knew it, they had already left and my normal
color returned to my face. Mom kissed me and left me to my room without
uttering a word. I couldn't tell if she was smiling or not, but when she
makes those sort of moves, it always nerves me. I decided if she was mad or
thought soething had been up, that I better go face the music before went
to bed, so I could at least sleep in peace.

  I waited for quite a while relaxing on my already unstraightened
bed. When I rolled over to get up, that was when I realized the puddle of
semen that was still damp on my pillow. My heart nearly fell through my
stomac. I started down the stairs with my head hung as to tell her, yeah, I
know I've done something I shouldn't have.

  "Hi, PK. You sure you are alright? Do you have a fever?" she inquired.

  "No, just kind of stressed out is all." I quickly replied. As nothing
else had passed in the conversation I'd decided to work my way back
upstairs to my bed and go to sleep. I walked into the bathroom and brushed
my teeth and use the bathroom when I noticed the dried semen and realized I
hadn't taken a shower, and since I usually do that on school nights, I
figured now would be the time to do it.

  "Time to get rid of the evidence," I thought to myself. By now I had been
shaking like a leaf. Images of dad popped into my mind and I nearly cried.
As I climbed into bed I composed myself and drifted off to sleep. I was
restless.

  The entire next day I had a hard time remembering, since it was all
sucha  blur. My head was stuck in a cloud but no one seemed to notice, not
even Lowell when I plopped down next to him in math. Finally when  class
was finally over and there was enough hustle and bustle around so as to
mask our small conversation, Lowell leaned in to tell me he thought he
loved me, and I almost started to cry. I never even saw that one coming and
I wasn't sure I felt that way about Lowell. He was a sweet boy alright, but
he'd only known me for about a week and a half. I was floored. I was
certain now that he had some form of a crush on me. Well, after the
previous night, how could he not? If he didn't, I'm sure he and I would
have never done that stuff. I figured I needed time to think about it. I
also didn't know much about this boy, but remembered that he wanted to have
a sleep over and guessed I might learn more about him then, as well as his
family.

----------------------------------------

I hope chapter one was interesting, chapter two will be in the works here
soon. the importants of this story is to open to one's mind how a childs
life can be affected by parents and outside sources. these are my thoughts
that I quite frequently had. Perhaps if enough requests are sent to me, I
might actually consider sorting out the details in the story about what is
true or not. For now just let the imagination flow! Send me any ideas you
may have for future chapters.