Date: Tue, 12 Jun 2012 11:42:26 -0700 (PDT)
From: Tyler Adams <tyleradamsbooks@yahoo.com>
Subject: The Paths We Chose ch 13

Thanks to the many of you who have written. If you're not a writer, then
maybe you can't understand how it feels to get an email from someone who
can relate to something you wrote, or that they can't wait for the next
chapter.

Anyway, I'm posting this chapter along with chapter 12 to get to the next
section where Alex finds that "someone special," so don't give up the story
if you find this one a bit tedious.

I also want to encourage you to make a donation to the archive. I've been
blown away by the patient help they've provided to me in posting this and
my other story. If you haven't already read Almost Straight posted in May
2012 in the Relationship section of the Archive, please do so (although you
may want to wait until this tale is finished to do so because it's the
story of what happens to Phil and his religion while at college when he
figures out that he doesn't have to stop being a Christian to be true to
his real self.

Tyler

P.S. Keep sending those emails

     Chapter 13

     Phil was standing by the doorway of his room looking like he'd been
had when I came storming back the hallway. He's the one who had sent Aaron
-- told him to do whatever he had to, to get my attention.
     "Why'd you do that? I was almost into the next level when Thing Two
goes and stands right in front of the TV screen."
     "Dude, you so don't hear anyone when you're gaming. You know how mom
gets when she expects something done, and I like told you three times. You
even said `I'll be right there."
     "You did not just talk to me. No one even came into the room before
Aaron showed up." His rolling eyes told me differently.
     "At least now you know what I have to put up with all the time," he
told me when he saw my sour mood. "Welcome to my world, bud."
     We began to put the room in order, I suppose, so that we could find
enough of the floor to make it worthwhile getting out the vacuum
cleaner. He must have seen our forced time together as opportunity to share
his faith -- again -- because he started talking about his camp
experience -- again.
     "You know when things really started to turn around for me?"
     "At camp," I told him in my best sarcastic voice. "You're bruiser bud
told you about his grandma's letters and you followed his lead `cause you
were afraid of ticking him off."
     "I'm doing it again, aren't I?"
     "Yup"
     "I just want you to know what it's like to have all the pressure
lifted off your shoulders. Sorry. Mom always tells me `you can lead a horse
to water but you can't make him drink.' Guess you're the horse she's
talkin' about, huh?"
     "Nei-ei-eigh," I belted out. When we were done wrestling, the room
looked like we hadn't even started cleaning it up.
      "Alex?"
     I looked up.
     "Do you remember the first day that Casey came over to talk to you at
your locker in school?"
     "Yeah?"
     "That was really hard for me, because as soon as I saw him checkin'
you out, I knew what he wanted. I guess I freaked about it because I was
afraid he'd just try to use you like he did me... and maybe you'd get
hooked doing drugs, or alcohol.
     "You know what's really weird, though," he continued. I wasn't looking
at Phil, but I was listening.
     "Sometimes I think I'm crazy because of it, but even though I was
scared for you, I guess I was actually a little jealous too. Seeing him
hitting on you brought back so many memories. I know it's wrong, but
sometimes I miss the things we did together."
     Phil was finally talking about something I could relate to. And even
though he was talking about Casey, he was talking about guys. I decided it
was my turn to talk, forcing Phil to "practice" what he just told me about
him not getting bent out of shape when something didn't go the right way,
`cause I don't think me totally changing the subject was what he was
expecting. I think he was hoping that after explaining how much his life
had changed since he became a Christian, I would want that too. It's not
that I'm opposed to becoming a Christian, it's just that according to what
Phil says, God doesn't do "gay," even if you're committed to each other.  I
didn't feel like going there with him so I just completely changed the
subject.
     "Just because Casey's a jerk," I told him, "doesn't mean there's not
someone out there that's right for me." Then, staring at the laundry pile,
I asked "Phil? Did you like... like ever have an STD?"
     "A-a-ah... They told me I had gonorrhea in my throat, when I got my
physical before camp."
     "Did you feel anything when you had it?  I mean did you know you had
it before they told you?"
     "Not really, why?"
     "I was just wondering, because the doctor in the ER told me that I had
to get tested in two weeks to see if I got anything at the party. That's
this coming Saturday. Do you think I could have gotten AIDS? It kinda
freaks me to think about it."
     Phil looked at me with one of those looks. I couldn't tell if it was a
"you're an idiot," or an "I feel your pain" look. "I'm never gonna get so
drunk at a party again that I do something as stupid as what I did that
time. Sometimes I'm scared that God'll give me AIDS because I'm gay."
     "God doesn't give people AIDS," Phil blurted out before the words had
totally cleared my lips. "He's not like `out there' somewhere waiting to
make people sick if they get out of line. God loves everyone in the world
so much that he sent his son Jesus to earth so we could be good enough to
be with him forever if we believe and give our life to him. He came to
forgive people when they mess up if they'll ask him."
     His supposition caught me by surprise, actually, but it didn't fit my
understanding of religion. "If God is supposed to love everyone, then why
does he let so many bad things happen to people?"
     "I wish my Youth Pastor was here to help me out with this one, but
they tell us at Youth Group that sometimes, bad things happen because we
don't make good choices."
     "Like being gay," I snarled, thinking that's what he meant by making
bad choices. "In case you're interested, I didn't choose to be this way."
     "That's not what I mean. ... I mean, not really... I mean..." Phil
stumbled a bit but then found the words he must have been looking
for. "Look, it's not wrong to be... to like guys like that; that's not the
point."
     "So what is the point then?"
     "The point is just that it's wrong when you like, you know, do stuff
the bible says only married people should do. I mean it's the same way with
hetero guys. God says we should be married before we do that stuff. It's
like his way of protecting people from getting diseases."
     "There's other ways to keep from getting diseases. That's why I said
I'm never gonna party and get so drunk that I do something stupid again."
     "Jesus'd help you if you let him."
      I just sort of scowled at Phil.
     "I just did it again, didn't I?"